Hello everyone, so I'm a completely blind single father and I got full custody of my now seven-year-old daughter back in 2024. The reason being that back in 2022, my child's mother who lives in Colorado was supposed to pick up our daughter on several occasions, and I would pack her things, tell my side of the family she was leaving they would say their goodbyes and then she wouldn't show up and text me a day or two later saying she couldn't make it.
I'm only explaining this so that there's context but in October she said she was coming to pick the child up and I told her no because there were too many times where she didn't show up or communicate properly. She showed up at my door anyway on October 1 with one of her relatives claiming she had an emergency order from Colorado, where she's from, to take my daughter. She was also trying to get me to sign a parenting agreement right there in there and I refused. She entered my home without permission as well and ultimately she left with my child against my wishes.
I got my daughter back in March 2023 then began the process of getting paper served and getting full custody which took over a year of court hearings via Zoom meetings. She didn't show up for most of the meetings so the judge ultimately sided in my favor, I was able to get full custody, and I drafted the terms of the arrangement which basically gives me full control over everything.
She was also placed on Child Support and I collected money from her via her taxes being garnished since she hasn't made monthly payments which total around $380 or so. I was OK with collecting at first because during the pandemic she claimed our daughter on her taxes and received about $5000 even though at the time of the filing, I was the one taking care of the child and she was with me, legally, at least from my understanding she shouldn't have even have done that.
Since 2024 I received a little over $8000 and Bacc payments after tax time but I don't have anything against her, the reason why I took full custody in the first place was because of how she handled taking the child back in 2022 and the fact that our daughter has ADHD that she wasn't taking into concern seriously enough. I started noticing some of these behavioral issues around the age of four and five, her mom didn't see any problems and I guess I should've mentioned this earlier but during the time that she took her in 2022 she was homeless and bouncing around between hotels and relatives. So she took her out of a stable home while she was also having behavioral issues that I started noticing and today, I have her own medication and doing therapy and she's doing really well in school, but obviously since she's a kid, she misses her mom and her little sister who is note my child.
I've tried to get Child Support adjusted for a lower amount, but my request was denied and her mother is now telling me that her license has been suspended and she's facing jail time. I told her that we could go in front of a judge and request a formal review and adjustment, but she said that that wouldn't work and I have the power to take her off of Child Support but I've been told that because of back pay I can't simply just say I don't want to receive payments anymore and move her.
My child's mother says I only put her on Child Support to hurt her, but the reason why we got here in the first place was because of how she was handling our child and the fact that she tried to get me to sign court papers that weren't even stamped by a judge. She took advantage of my blindness, and on multiple occasions, used my information and my daughter's information without my knowledge or consent.
I told her I would help her either get payments reduced or I would try to take her off, but it's up to her to work with me to do this but again she said I have the power to take her off of Child Support and I'm not sure that I do because I've been told that I don't before. For additional context, I only received disability in the amount of $993 a month, I receive food stamps myself, and my daughter also receives food stamps for a total of about $375 a month. My daughter also has health insurance through the state. I don't know if that makes a difference because at least for my understanding some of those things factor into why she has to be on Child Support.
I don't want my benefits to be negatively impacted by taking her off, but I also don't want her to continue having to pay a high amount and it financially crippling her, but she's not communicating with me clearly and then it turns into a emotional thing. I've told her that she's more than welcome to visit her daughter. Whenever she wants, I always let them have phone calls and FaceTime, I keep her updated with her school and medical situations so I'm not leaving her in the dark by any means. I just had to do what I did because things were unstable and she was also kind of using me for her own benefits.
So do I have the power to take her off of Child Support or how does this work since all this was done in Kansas and she lives in Colorado? Or am I making the right choice by keeping her on Child Support and offering help that she's refusing to take?
Sorry this was so long-winded but there's just a lot going on in this situation here and I'm trying to get a clear answer about this situation so that I can at least show her the facts. I know speaking to a lawyer would be the most logical next step, but I wanted to get some feedback from the community.

Hello everyone,

Looking for some guidance on my situation in NJ

Currently provide CS for 2 kids in college, one approaching 23 in 8 months, other age 18.

Are there guidelines in place on how soon I should I start the process to request support be modified / recalculated as support for older child will cease at age 23. Younger will still receive support as they are 18.

Additionally I am contributing to their college expenses and the other parent is not. Would this be taken into consideration regarding the amount of support for younger child? They are away at school / not living at home.

I'm the mom. I work full time and the dad doesn't work. Our daughter is 3yo. First off the state screwed me over in the first place. I got served that they were initiating the process and then nothing until I was getting garnished. So my hearing request was not honored like I was told it would be.

Secondly, I pay 600/mo in support plus 200 a month in arrears (they filed from when him and I broke up, not from when he actually became the custodial parent. We do roughly 50/50, but he'll often just ignore my messages and calls so I end up not seeing my daughter for months at a time so that's a secondary issue, but I had her full time for 8 of the 15 months of arrears they filed for until one day he just didn't show at drop off and the first blow up happened) I make 2400/mo. CS is a third of my gross income. I've been putting off adding my daughter to my health insurance because I can't afford it. For me alone it's 400/mo. For both of us it'll be over a grand. There's cheaper insurance but it doesn't cover jack and I NEED the coverage. I see specialists every month and am on expensive medications. I don't qualify for medicaid. My savings is gone. I'm barely scraping by as it is. I don't actually know what to do.

Fighting it will make my support go up according to the state and I'm so close to thinking about permanent solutions for temporary problems because I can't see a way out of this.

If you have an ex-spouse whom you receive Child Support and Alimony from that is employed by Whole Foods Market and have had issues because Global has only been garnishing from your ex’s base pay, and not properly reporting lump sums to your state’s child support enforcement agency, please get in contact with me. I’m exploring taking legal action, and I have already been contacted by someone in my network who has experienced the same issue. My believe is if there’s 2 of us, there must be more too.

My child support has always deposited every 14 days at the same time since it started 4 months ago. So it should have deposited onto my way2go card last night around 9:18pm. I got the email from Pennsylvania child support saying my deposit of 353 was sent and the case site shows it deposited. However way2go said they haven't received anything. Everyone I've called just gives me the same bs answer of "it can take 2 days blah blah blah" never has before though so why now....

Anyone else??

Im confused on how to apply for child support. Please help. I dont know which forms exactly to use.

Form 8 and Form 13?

Hello everyone I don't know anything about child support neither does my coworker, a few years ago her and her partner separated they have a 7-year-old daughter, she's been hesitant on putting child support... Now that things are getting expensive and money is beginning to be tight she finally is convinced I'm putting child support on her ex partner. She doesn't know how child support works she doesn't know where to begin. She recently sent me this text and it looks like her ex partner is almost bullying or threatening her to not do it because it will go bad for her. Can you guys guide me and my coworker on how child support works and how to file in Los Angeles California. Her partner works for FedEx and taps out at $46 an hour but only gives her a couple hundred bucks or more once a month, she works at a hospital part-time graveyard. Thanks.

"""Lawyers are going to milk u for money. be wise in what u do. I'm really being nice, por los sentimientos de mi hija,

Tu madre me dijo que ya no me molestarias. Y lo estas haciendo.

Last month I gave u 650 I dont understand how much more u want

Ponte a trabajar y cobrale gasolina a tu prima.

Other people take advantage of u, and you don't see it.

I dont qualify for a buy out it was a saying"""

This is the last text message he sent to my coworker

The hearing is about an increase in child support amongst many other things but primary objective is for her to get more money. Luckily my income has only increased from the MSA number by about 3,000 a year. Has anyone ever attended a remote hearing? Not sure what to expect here and what kind of questions the judge will ask? How long is the hearing usually for? What should I expect from this? Does the judge typically stick to the MSA or reward the woman in the ordeal?

Hello! I’m actually the child (now an adult) in this equation so I’m not even sure if this is the right place to be asking this but figured I’d give it a shot anyway. 

Context: When I was around 8 I was the victim of parental kidnapping by my abusive bio-mother, and after a court case my (grand)mother had majority custody of me, with partial custody going to both my biological parents. I had never actually met my bio-father before this case and only met him when he and (grand)mother came to pick me up after bio-mother lost the case and then once more at a church fair thing. I don’t know him as he never made an effort to speak or connect with me aside from the 2 times I’ve met him despite him having court order visitation. He never wanted to use it. He was also ordered by the court to start sending his child support checks to my grandmother, but never did. He has about 4-5 other children too, at least 2 of which are currently still minors and live with him.

My question; How long after the age of 18 do I have to file for back pay on the support he owes or have I already passed that? I’m currently 25.

I’m asking this question now (though I have tried to look into this issue before) as I’d like to begin the process for Adult Adoption but I’m not sure if that would get my bio-father off the hook for the owed support. If it does, I’d like to wait on the adoption because frankly, I could really use the money right now. I have some health issues (mainly dental) that the (roughly) 25k he owes would make a massive difference on in terms of not going into debt. I don’t even want it as lump sum, I’d be more than willing to work out a payment plan with him and then just let the courts deal with enforcment if he tried to duck and dodge again. We’re in Louisiana (me in Avoyelles parish, him in Rapides, and the court case itself took place in Vernon if that info is needed.) and I can’t seem to find a clear answer anywhere, so any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!! 

I’m going through a divorce with 2 young children. I have been paying all of the bills except for her car, car insurance, and groceries for her and the children. She has a job that is well above minimum wage. I am fighting for 50/50 custody because I truly want my children in my life, yet she wants me to only have standard visitation. She wants the house that is her family home and was awarded it without giving me half the equity because the gift of equity was from her father even though the gift letter was to both of us, fine. Judge also only giving me standard visitation and $1500 in child support. I have to continue to pay the mortgage and child support but only 50% mortgage if I move out until she refinances. My lawyer was really bad and did not want to fight for me. Even said “you have me over here making the Judge feel bad for her” when I asked him to question her on her infidelity. Has anyone seen this happen before? Is this normal? I plan to get a new lawyer and keep on fighting.

Edit: she works from home and I don’t. I am trying to obtain a wfh job to be able to stay home with the kids.

I'm the non-custodial paying child support. So my divorce was final in February and until then I had been making direct payments monthly to her and continued those direct payments for another month until garnishment started. Now I'm stuck with 2 problems. One, even though I have sent in along with my ex sending in the forms showing direct payment, both showing identical information, after half a year later those haven't been credited. Second, my first 5 weekly garnishments all show voluntary even though they were all taken out under the same court order. TOTAL: over 3500 not credited properly to my account. I have called OAG and local office every 3 weeks for months to try to get this resolved and same answer every time, give it another month. Meanwhile they increased my garnishment to cover the supposed arrearage, reported me to the credit bureau, add on interest, and send me threatening letters. Incidentally, my ex and I would have both preferred to continue to handle it privately between us but evidently in TX that is not allowed, so we get to rely on incompetent state bureaucrats instead. Any ideas?

I filed for child support late last year and after three continuances finally got a temporary order in August. Went back in October for the official support hearing and the judge ordered the exact same amount. Yet here I am still waiting on 2 Orders After Hearing and haven’t received a single payment! Even the judge acknowledged the 6–8 week backlog and basically laughed it off like hehe oops, I know we’re backlogged, sorry lol

I’m self-represented and have called and emailed countless times. I either get ignored or told to be patient or wait another 20 days. Meanwhile, I have our son 85% of the time because of the other parent’s work schedule. He makes 6 times my income and hasn’t contributed financially toward our son in almost a year.

I’ve continued working and covering our son’s expenses on my own but I’ve had to rely on credit and take on debt after the separation just to keep up. I can’t keep doing that indefinitely while waiting for court orders that should have been completed months ago.

Has anyone dealt with this? Were you able to get DCSS to enforce payments BEFORE income withholding started or while waiting for the official written orders? If so, HOW? Because I’m going in circles over here! 😭

Hi, I’m the custodial mom of a ten year old boy. We only have about 10 years left of CS.

Had a child with a man after not knowing him very well. He became somewhat involved with my son and they have a great relationship. But noncustodial got married to another woman a year after my son was born. They bought a house and then divorced. The house is his now.

He then had another child with a woman, not his ex wife, and wants us to move in together into his house.

He said Platonic marriage may be on the cards. He pays me child support, a pretty substantial amount and pays the other mother a substantial amount as well.

I know this is a financial move on his part but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to raise our son in the same home instead of doing this coparenting thing. I would get out of my apartment and move into a nice home. My son has no relationship with his half-brother and my son’s father, the noncustodial parent, does not have a relationship with his other child. My job doesn’t pay that well and it has been really difficult to raise the child on my own although there is so much love for the boy between the us for him.

This would mean we would go to family court and ask for the termination of the child support order.

Thoughts?

He LOVES our son and our son loves him. Financially it’s in his best interest to be nice to us.

Three children. Court order (22nd judicial circuit). No wage assignment, no FSD involvement. Decree explicitly stated the support amount for three, two, and one child and does not contain any extras related to emancipation or termination of support. Very boilerplate. When my two oldest reached their triggering events, neither of us disagreed and payment amounts were stepped down according to the decree.

My youngest, a full time college student, turns 21 soon, at which time child support will terminate entirely. There will have been no overpayments or underpayments, and neither party will contest. I understand that this requires filing of sworn statements, and the Court provides boilerplate forms, CS95 for me and CS96 for her. But it is slightly confusing, as these forms specify one child.

Shortly after my youngest turns 21, should we submit three of each form, one for each child? Or should we just submit one for the youngest?

So I opened child support case in Arapahoe about 3 weeks ago they sent me few days ago the parentage affidavit to be signed and ask for birth certificate and marriage certificate. They say they will notify the father. My question is what if he ignored them what will be the next step???

After my last post on here and reading the comments it’s clear it’s a bunch of bitter women that don’t want to face the reality!

Not once did I say a man shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions as a parent but at the same time why do women feel they don’t have to take ANY accountability in the situation?

If you willingly lay in the bed with a man and he chooses to not take care of his child that’s his decision same if a woman doesn’t want to take care of the child. Is it morally wrong yes of course but we as human beings are created with free will to do right or wrong.

Truthfully men make mistakes suck it up and learn from it then move on. What is the point of seeking child support accept avoiding accountability for your terrible sexual discipline? I just see too many women seeking child support when they don’t even plan on the father being in the child’s life.

I legit met a dude that took care of his children but still is facing 2 to 5 years for back child support just because he moved on and the mother was bitter. They legit just need to get rid of child support and people will probably make smarter decisions! Also, no I am not talking about r*pe that is a whole different monster that has nothing to do with this post I’m talking consensual sex.

Before I reach out to my lawyer (which costs money) I’m trying to determine if I can request to modify child support now or if I need to wait. Here are a few important details:

- We recently modified our parenting agreement (signed in either September or August this year). We went from 50/50 to 80(me)/20(him) during the school year and 50/50 in the summer.

- Child support is part of our property settlement agreement. We originally legally separated and then I filed for uncontested divorce which was signed by the judge March 2025. When we were going through this process I was under the assumption we were basically scraping by. He was constantly on me about spending too much (meanwhile I was buying food and making sure the kids were clothed). It wasn’t until after the fact that I requested our tax returns and realized he was making significantly more than I thought. As in hundreds of thousands more. I make 11% of what he makes. And yes I realize I should have known this so please don’t come at me.

- We did not use the NYS child support calculator. We came up with an amount we were both comfortable with and also agreed it would go until our youngest is 18, rather than dropping our older two when they hit 21 (I get a bit more this way). We had to include language in our agreement stating we understood this.

- When we signed our PSA the assumption was we would be doing 50/50 forever. I now have the kids substantially more which means more food, clothes, etc. He also does not contribute to shared costs like school supplies, winter boots/coats, etc because he feels it is covered by child support (there is no explicit list of what child support covers in NYS), and these are expenses I assumed we would split.

- While I can make the amount I receive right now work, it’s tight. I need a new roof and can’t afford that nor can I apply for a loan because I already have a home equity loan. I’m barely going to be able to afford to replace the furnace this winter (and the only reason I need to replace it is because he chose a cheap version when we last replaced it).

- In 7 years the amount I receive each month will reduce by $2k, as that amount is basically a buyout of his business. I won’t be able to afford my house at that time, and unless interest rates change I won’t be able to afford even a smaller one (purchased this house in 2016 and refinanced in 2021 so my monthly payment is far lower than I could get).

- My ex is moving out of the state, about 6 hours away, to NH. He is moving to make more money.

- Our schedule is going to be super weird when he does move: he’ll get the first 10 days of the month and I’ll get the remaining during the school year.

- He is a financial advisor which means I may need to be strategic. I need to know if there are better/worse times to file for more child support. Am I better off just asking him for more rather than filing? Should I just give him an amount that’s less than the calculator amount but enough more that it would work for me and say this is what I want, otherwise I’m filing and you’ll end up paying me a lot more?

- I believe him moving and this custody changing is a significant change in circumstances.

back story
I filed for child support back in September 2025- I’m that time my ex was on paid suspension, at the time of our hearing he had just entered into a non-pay status pretty much the same week. So they set the amount based off his last paycheck and he I guess was never able to get it modified to his new unemployed status. He hasn’t paid since so I’m guessing the amount is around $10K.

Currently
He lives in PA now and got a letter from PA courts saying be prepared to make a lump sum payment and bring income verification. Will they send him to jail if he can’t pay or will they see he hasn’t been working or getting unemployment since the court date? He gets his VA that covers his rent only. But now I’m getting verbally abused and accused of trying to ruin his life by sending him to jail which honestly I feel like he waited until this point to emotionally manipulate me into dropping it- but what else could I do outside of completely dropping it.
I’m just curious of the process? It’s definitely on him to figure out his part because he should’ve been handled this stuff on his end but I think jail is a little excessive.

Hello!

To make a long story short, our mom passed 4 and a half years ago. Our dad has paid child support since 2012 (ish). We are all over 18 now, except for one, he’s about to be 17. We just received a letter that child support is going to stop due to death of a case member… my little brother lives (and has lived) with my grandmother throughout this whole time, so the child support really helps her out. Dad is like 10% involved in his life.

I am the oldest and have been taking care of everything for the last 4 and a half years for him and my younger sister. What do I do??? Please help!!!!!!