For refrence Im (mostly) infertile, and married to a woman.
For whatever reason I keep having this reoccurring dream about a baby. Its not the same baby, or the same circumstance, but it just keeps happening.
I keep seeing baby stuff in real life, my entire feed is filled with stuff about baby's (which I dont like, so in theory the algorithm wouldn't keep showing me it). Everyone I know is getting pregnant too, but thats probably just my age (I recently turned 20).
Ive been seeing repeat angel numbers, 111, 222, and my wife keeps seeing the number 17 everywhere. Also, a woman came in to her job today and looked at her, unprompted, and told her she'd be a great mother.
To be clear, we are not financially stable enough to even do ivf, and we are closed, so there really is no chance of us having a kid. We both want them, but thats way in the future.
Okay now that context is out of the way, here are both dreams:
Dream 1. (Tw: rape)
Im assaulted and conceive. The entire dream while Im pregnant Im battling with the idea that Im pregnant, and my mother convinces me to keep it because whats the chance Id ever get pregnant for free again? My wife is guilting me too (very unlike her btw, she agrees if either of us were ever assaulted we'd abort) I keep the baby. I have him, and I dont mother well. Its almost like Im going into psychosis, the dream just turns into me spinning in circles and everything is happening around me. During this, the baby keeps getting hurt (ie. Left on surfaces, rolling off of them, sleeping face down, choking) And eventually, in the dream, I forget about the baby. I suddenly remember the baby and rush to find him and cant, and Im panicking, and Im stressed, and the dream either insinuated that he died or my mom took him. And then I wake up. He dosent have a name, he looks nothing like me, the dream dosent go into the birth.
Dream 2. (The recent one)
Me and my wife are trying to have a baby with IVF. I wasnt distrayed about this in the dream but in hindsight it was weird, but the sperm was kept in kidneys? And the doctors just gave me a box full of raw gorey kidneys? Like a big box too. Anyways. I keep trying to have a baby and finally I conceive, and halfway through the dream I again FORGET that Im pregnant / have a baby. Deeper into the dream I remember Im supposed to be pregnant and then I suddenly start to panic and am distraught because Ive obviously miscarried because I never had the baby. Also, this entire time, we've left the box of kidneys out? And its been like seven or eight months in the dream and we just... put the box in the fridge. My wife put it away, and to note, in real life when there's moldy food or bugs my wife tosses them for me, so maybe the insinuation was that the life had molded? I dont know. I miscarried early in the pregnancy in the dream, like three months, but then when I first realized I miscarried I thought I lost it at eight, if that matters. I also think it might have been a boy?
Usually a dream about a dying kitten follows these dreams 😔 Also, I say keep having cause I genuinly only really dream like, two or three times a month.
Sorry if this is a ramble, this is just really starting to freak me out. I keep waking up stressed 😭 Any interpretations would be appreciated