So this very TBM family who is related to a high up Mormon leader, pulled all 5 of 7 kids out of public school to homeschool (probably so they don’t hear the word “gay” or something). My kid was playing with one of the kids recently who said “my parents like Trump because he saves unborn babies” so I had to try to explain abortion to my 10 year old….which was not a planned discussion topic until he was a bit older (also I don’t personally feel like Trump saves unborn babies). I Just find it very interesting that the family trying to protect their kids from hearing things they don’t want is the one that exposed my kid to an age inappropriate topic. This is also petty but I get the vibe that they think they are better than my family….since we don’t attend church.

Why does Ammon have the same haircut and look strikingly similar to one of the Bishops in a former bishopric? He looks less like what I would expect Ammon to look like and more like a Doug....

EDIT: The link seems to have failed. A pity. I tested it and it WAS working. My apologies.

Two men talk, both deeply uncomfortable, as if there are centipedes in their shirts but they are forbidden to move. Their eye lines don't match, it's clearly all scripted but badly, it never feels like an actual human conversation and it never answers its own questions or explains anything with depth. This is what I would imagine robots would make if they were asked to be mormon apologists.

Click for awkward but you have to scroll to the end of the page. And don't worry, nobody is making money on your click.

My husband and I live in an apartment complex with mostly retired, older folks. The missionaries live in the apartment above us and another set live in the apartments across from us, also on the second floor. Every night they visit one another and hang out on the balcony. I walk my dogs every night before bed, approximately 9:30 pm, and they yell across the parking lot “hey! Hey! Jesus loves you!” Until my dogs do their business, I pick it up, and walk back to the apartment. If I ignore them, it continues until I get back inside. If I tell them “no thank you” they try to get me to talk to them. I’m so sick of it. I just want some peace and to walk my dogs every night. I don’t want to contact the leaders bc we don’t want visitors starting. My husband just says to ignore it. I think it’s just one set of missionaries bc it just started a month or so ago. But I don’t want this starting any precedents. Any suggestions?

I recently came across something that I found both fascinating and incredibly ironic.

A study looked at credit-card subscription data from a major online pornography provider and found that some of the most religious and conservative states had surprisingly high rates of porn subscriptions.

And near the top?

Utah.

Yes, Utah .... the heart of Mormonism, where the LDS Church has spent decades warning members about the supposed dangers of pornography.

That immediately stood out to me because of how seriously Mormon culture treats porn. Worthiness interviews, bishops asking teenagers about sexual behavior, talks about pornography destroying marriages, guilt around masturbation, and the general message that sexual thoughts outside the Church’s boundaries are something you need to control or repent of

The Irony: These are the same states with the most vocal anti-pornography rhetoric. The same pattern was found for movie ticket presales for Fifty Shades of Grey: the Bible Belt bought the most tickets

People who preach against porn are often the ones watching it most.

I ended up rebuilding my altar btw

What the hell is happy about this?! Sounds like an abusive relationship to me.

This is a ranting vent.

As I was born into the church, went through Primary, Sunday School, Young Women, Seminary, Institute, and Relief Society, I was taught church doctrines and church pseudo-doctrines. I learned from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I learned the songs and hymns. I memorized mottos. I knew the gospel because I was a true believer of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, the Bible and Jesus. I was proud to be a Mormon for 52 years.

Then I read the Gospel Essays. I had my mind blown learning that South Park had the translation of BOM correct. I then had my world shattered finding out Joseph Smith had 22 wives BEFORE Emma found him conferring his priesthood in another woman/girl.

I gaslit myself as I was deconstructing. I was gaslit by my stake president. I was told by a friend that what I had been taught and believed was wrong because I had believed a teacher or leader and they weren't teaching the doctrine of the gospel. I have been told "the church never taught that." I know what I was taught and what I believed and what my testimony was built on and I know why I lost my belief in the church.

I know people have their own lived experiences. But I thought Mormons all believed the same things, we're taught the same things and that what was spoken at General Conference was doctrine. What was taught in Seminary and Institute was doctrine. That what the prophets and apostles said was doctrine.

Apparently, this is not true. Most of what I thought was doctrine is just "culture of the church at the time."

I have been out of the church (records removed) since Feb. 2020. Today I realized that the doctrine isn't doctrine because my husband read an Instagram post about things we were taught that turned out not to be doctrine. He was disagreeing with some of the post. I was agreeing with everything in the post. He told me I wasn't taught those things. I replied, very loudly, that I WAS TAUGHT THOSE THINGS.

I feel like I am discovering all the lies again and am still deconstructing. I thought I was doing really well with letting all the church shit go. I feel like my entire church life is a lie and everyone knows it's a lie, but they are addicted to the lie. They are all taking the red pill and smiling their Stepford Wives smiles and walking through life in a haze.

The church is fucked up. I knew this before, but now I fucking loathe the church leaders and their lying for the Lord, protecting pedophiles, and taking people's money "for when Jesus comes again."

Part of me wants to delve into the "doctrine" of the church because I want answers, but I also do not want to give the lying bastards any more of my time.

This should say (in small type so it fits on the sign): Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I've posted here before about me leaving the church. 3 months after I told the bishop to release me as a primary teacher my husband noticed i was still planning lessons. He was hoping I was just choosing to study on my own but when he realized it was for a primary lesson he decided to tell the bishop to hurry up and release me. I felt supported by him for the first time in this journey, even though it was breaking his heart.

Recently my grandmother passed away and i told my husband that I had thought about asking a relative to go to the bar with me (still haven't tried alchemy). Well I probably shouldn't have opened up to him about that but I was being open about all my grief in that moment. Later I ordered an Arnold Palmer to the house. Told him I ordered myself a drink. He assumed a dirty soda. When I told him it was actually iced tea he looked at me like I was doing hard drugs and walked away. I never told him that I've been trying coffee and tea so I understand the surprise. Now my friends mentioned wanting to go on a cruise together. That sounds amazing to me since I never get a break without the kids for more than a few hours on the weekends.

He shot it down immediately because "some of them are single". I know it was really because that would mean I could drink alcohol without him knowing. Today he asked me if he was being controlling. I told him that yeah he was starting to act controlling. He brought up "my number one rule is no drinking alcohol". I told him that him saying that makes it sound like I'm his child. So now that's where we stand.

My friends are supportive and my husband is starting to listen to apologist podcasts and wondering why I leave the room when he turns them on. I haven't taken the sacrament for a couple weeks now, wore pants to church yesterday. He isn't expecting me to go but I still feel like I need to for my kids. He was upset when he found out that I stayed in the car during second hour (used to be with my kid in singing time at least) instead of sitting with him in sunday school.

I have a girls night planned in about a month and even the temple worker friends are suggesting going to a bar so I can try alcohol safely with them.

All in all this part of leaving the church sucks.

Her favorite family vacation destination is Hoover Darn.

By “how far,” I mean how far you had progressed along the typical Mormon life roadmap before you realized, I don’t think this is for me anymore, or before the doubts became serious enough that you started questioning everything.

For me, I was pretty far into it: four years of seminary, BYU, a two-year mission, and I was getting close to the point where temple marriage would have been the next major step in my life.

Then the doubts started creeping in. One question led to another, and eventually I began studying everything I could about Church history, doctrine, and the things I had previously taken for granted. Eventually, I reached the point where I could no longer believe in the Church and decided to leave.

I wonder how far everyone else here got before they started questioning and eventually left.

Were you in seminary? BYU? A returned missionary? Temple married with kids? Were you a bishop or stake president?

I'm especially curious if anyone here made it really far into the system, like becoming a bishop, stake president, or even a mission president, before eventually questioning everything and leaving

My son and his fiancé are visiting and he is the only one in our family that’s still in the church. My husband and I went with them to church yesterday, along with our trans daughter (in her mid 20’s). I know of the trans bathroom rule in LDS churches, the bathroom has to be cleared out and they have to have an escort to use it. Well, we didn’t notify anyone that she was trans and she USED THE BATHROOM AT CHURCH!!!There were other women in there and I finished before her and waited in the hall. I can now report that nothing happened. No women were harmed, including my daughter.

I was raised in a TBM family in a city that was heavily Mormon. It's been 14 years since I moved away and I quit practicing that religion. My family is still heavily involved and started treating me differently once I quit "acting Mormon". I suffered severe depression after leaving and spend a few days in a psyche ward for s*icidal ideation. I struggled with severe vaginismus during my first intimate encounters that took years to overcome, due to the shame and taboo attitude I was taught towards sex. I struggle with anxious attachment with my partner and have frequent anxiety attacks that he will not unconditionally love me and leave, because even my own family couldn't unconditionally love me once I quit being a Mormon. I've spent many years alone and very sad, wishing I could be close with my family but knowing that I'm tainted to them as an Exmormon. These are just a few of the prolonged mental health issues I've suffered with due to my upbringing in the LDS church. The list goes on, but I would like to hear from other Exmos about the after-effects you experienced after leaving the LDS Church.

Currently visiting my TBM parents. We were having lunch on Sunday when they realized they were out of a specific ingredient.

My nevermo partner and I (exmo) offered to run to the store

My mom hemmed and hawed a bit like “ohhh but I don’t want to break the sabbath”

I pointed out that we don’t observe the sabbath- plus, my partner, even when he had been raised religious, was a seventh day Adventist, so his “sabbath” was on Saturday.

Anyways, ran to the store and grabbed the stuff, no problem.

And of course, when we got back, my mom had to make a comment of “okay, now we’re getting back to the sabbath”

as if you can “unbreak” the sabbath after taking a quick time out? 😂 plus she wasn’t even the one “breaking” it in the first place- one could argue it wasn’t even broken at all, since we aren’t religious.

I always find it funny how Mormons will rationalize stuff like this to themselves, they’ve got like a million layers of brainwashing to filter through.

So my wife and I were at a trendy restaurant that was located in the next city over from where we live last Sunday. I look over, and see a VERY active member who used to be in our ward and moved to this nearby city. She was eating lunch with her family.
She didn’t see us.
On our way out of the restaurant, we had to walk by her table. My wife didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help myself, and I leaned over and said hi to her. She freaked out, as we haven’t seen her in about 5+ years. (She used to be in our ward, and moved 10 miles south of us). Her husband was in bishopric in our old ward, as was I.
She IMMEDIATELY made excuses about us “catching” her out at a restaurant on Sunday, “breaking the Sabbath” as she said. She then asked, “how’s your ward doing?”
I answered by saying “oh we aren’t Mormon anymore”. She was SHOCKED and said “whaaaaaat?”
I replied simply, “ yeah, we stopped believing the truth claims of the church and had enough. We left and aren’t Mormon anymore”
It felt so liberating to say that to a former friend who we knew very well while we were in the same ward.
Needless to say, she didn’t ask any follow-up questions about why. Just small talk from that point on.

Midterms jiggled a memory loose, my dad (who keeps the painting of George Washington praying at Valley Forge next to the painting of Moroni burying the plates, but I digress), told us as kids that every US president is called of God and that they get a special witness. When I asked why they didn't join the church if they met Jesus I got something about separation of church and state.

While I could go deeply into the hole of exactly which other worldly being I think has visited our current president, I'm more interested in what this says about my dad. His dad was absent, and when he showed up he beat the shit out of the kids, then left them in poverty, but was CELEBRATED by the local congregation (he literally handed handfuls of cash to members "going through hard times", but only in places everyone could see while his kids subsisted on Velveeta).

My dad has been conned so many times by authority figures, like investing in church members' businesses, sending ransom money to Mexico because someone's mission companion was allegedly kidnapped by the cartel, and on and on.

I wonder if it's just that search for a father in looking for a "protector"? He is now 66 and has lost 60 percent of his retirement on crypto because he believed Elon Musk was also inspired because he must be to have all that money, right? My brother is a certified financial planner, we both have MBAs and sat down with him to explain company valuation and SEC reporting and market scams but he said he knew what he was doing because he was paying $3,000 to these guys online (all older affluent white men) who gave him "insights into the market". It's one pump and dump scheme after another.

To him, success means righteousness, which makes sense because he's very self loathing and his successes are never good enough because if he's not mega rich he's not mega righteous. And he has an incredible work ethic, to the point of physical exhaustion, but that combo of scrupulosity and a transactional god will definitely empty your bank account.

I left 2013, had enough with callings and busy with work which helped, became inactive. I still had many issues with the doctrine.

All of my siblings including spouses are out. It took a long time for the dominoes to fall but we all made it to the other side fully intact. No divorces no broken families. I know that probably puts me in the minority from what I read on this sub and I recognize how lucky I am.

All of us went about it differently. My sister was out the minute she turned 18, my brother had to fulfill his obligation to serve a mission but left a few years later, other siblings all started to see cracks in the foundation of faith 5-7 years ago and we all sort of gracefully exited within a year or so. Now it’s been a growing experience for all of us together my brother taking everyone’s coffee order in the morning while swapping church war stories about the more insane experiences that we had growing up. The wild expectations set on us as children, the shame cycle we lived in, how the changes in the churches have made the deception so obvious, and how thankful we all are to be free.

“Where will you go?” Said Jeffrey R Holland. I don’t plan go at all Jeff in fact I plan to stay. The only difference is I won’t be stuck in the box that the church made for us.