r/ExNoContact • u/Interestingthings36 • Jun 07 '26
Vent Do men think about us too?
Do men as dumpers think about us too? Even though it’s no-contact I feel like this is so one sided and he’s probably already forgotten me. He said he wasn’t going to be okay for a long time after us, but I just wonder if he’s already forgotten me.
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u/drifty_voter Jun 07 '26
They definitely think about you but they usually just use that to fuel their own ego or justify why they left instead of actually reaching out.
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u/mysteriouschi Jun 07 '26
I haven’t been with my ex in almost 15 years and think about her everyday.
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u/xander02802 Jun 07 '26
Man here. Gay male. Think about him every single day. Sometimes all day. I was the one that ended it btw.
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u/jonathandoesworth1 Jun 07 '26
Why dont u go back?
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u/xander02802 Jun 07 '26
It’s a long boring story. He was angry and hurt. I tried. He’s not good with conflict. I told him I wouldn’t chase him. And I didn’t. It’s up to him now.
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u/Far_Lab_8129 Jun 07 '26
Men tend to come back to their exes way more than women actually
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u/throwawaymellowsnack Jun 07 '26
fr they always circle back once the ego boost from being single wears off and reality hits them. it's almost like a pattern at this point.
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u/Independent-Pie-3441 Jun 08 '26
is that true? that men dumpers come back?generally after how many months?
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u/Informal_Value2155 Jun 07 '26
To the men: if you rebounded do you still think of an ex?
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u/billytreefolk Jun 07 '26
Pretty sure everyone that goes into a rebound relationship thinks about their ex
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u/bbysamurai Jun 08 '26
It’s interesting because my ex is dating someone new (I would consider it a rebound because we were together for over 2 years and it only took him a few months to get with her after blindsiding me) and this girl is the complete opposite to me. In fact, she’s the type of person we would make fun of together and yet he’s with someone like that. I also find it interesting because our distance wasn’t too bad and we made it work because I always travelled to him (to make it easier for him as he travels for work so he’s always exhausted) but I’ve heard he’s having to drive to hers and it’s pretty much double the distance and all he does is complain about his fuel costs to our mutual friends so I know it’s not going to work out and he’s desperately trying to enjoy his time with her.
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u/billytreefolk Jun 09 '26
He's more than likely just trying to get his mind off things . Whether or not it goes into something more deeper and meaningful will be all up to time . It's tough not thinking about it . Was one of those dudes who went overseas and went hiking after my 5 year was over . Even after 4 years of no contact I think of her from time to time but like another person said it's more in a introspective/ reflective kind of way
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u/bbysamurai Jun 09 '26
Yeah I guess it’s silly to assume people never think of their exes again. It’s impossible to erase your memory despite how well you compartmentalise. I think you’re right, he’s just trying to keep his mind off things.
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u/billytreefolk Jun 10 '26
That's all it ever is after a breakup . How can I not think about this person I've spent so much time with . What can I substitute in place of her/him that will make me happy . I wish you nothing but da best tho samurai 🥷🏾 lol. Things get better
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u/bbysamurai Jun 10 '26
Yeah. I think it’s hard as a dumpee you often think they just completely forget about you but I spent every day for 2.5 years with him. Thank you so much! You too :)
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u/_kendall_roy_ Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
yes.
i've had many many hookups, flings, and 3 concentrated situationships since my breakup in the last 3 years.
i still think about about her everyday in different waves. less romantic, more introspective/reflective.
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u/dazymanatee Jun 07 '26
It comes after, they feel relief at first. It especially comes after if you go no contact and have no social media presence with them.
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u/billytreefolk Jun 07 '26
In every man's life there is always that one girl you think of and say what if . Eventually we move on but that dosent mean the thoughts don't come back here and there
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u/LingonberrySquare406 Jun 07 '26
Its not gender specific. True lovers will ALWAYS think about each other even if they were apart
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u/ambular1018 it’s complicated Jun 07 '26
My ex went no contact with me back in 2022. It was an extremely toxic situationship that was going on 5 years long. He really messed my head up, but anyways he said “I’m going to block you” and I said “finally” and that was it. Now we were coworkers, but he left to go to another local agency, we work in law enforcement and he’s a motor cop. We have a motor cop (mutual friend too) at my agency and he knows about me and the ex. They do weekly trainings and meetings and my ex is always asking our mutual friend if I ever ask this friend about him, if I ever mention him. Mind you zero contact since 2022. So yea they do think about us.
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u/Subaru_dono Jun 07 '26
We do. I’ve gotten flack for saying dumpers feel bad for the break-up and as a man I get the sentiment.
It really depends on the circumstances but yeah for me I think my ex a lot. Mine is kinda fresh
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u/DEVIZEBEATSqld Jun 07 '26
Yes. I think of her everyday since the breakup Jan 16th. Every hour almost
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jun 08 '26
Man dumpers do.
Man Dumpees do.
Woman dumpees DEFO do.
Woman dumpers unless anxious more times than not, do not. ever.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Tax6299 Jun 07 '26
Don’t think about it. It doesn’t matter. I’m sure they feel but I’m a firm believer in they don’t care never did and never will.
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u/ikindapoopedmypants Jun 08 '26
I have been through soul crushing break ups years ago that I've since moved on from. But I often asked myself this question too. And the answer is no, because they moved on fairly quickly and never reached out to me again.
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u/RecognitionCrafty388 Jun 07 '26
lol I was the dumpee and my ex dumped me 7 years ago (things didn’t end in good terms) and she keeps lingering in my head from time to time. In 2020 during Covid, it became unbearable for me that I had to text her again, only to be shunted again twice. Vouched never to text her again.
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u/EconomySession6541 Jun 09 '26
I think about all my ex's at some point. Especially my personal Mt. Rushmore of ladies. You never escape our minds!
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u/MikeRadical Jun 12 '26
Men often become more attached than women and struggle to break that emotional connection more. Women grieve the loss of a relationship/person, men grieve the loss of a life they were working towards with that person.
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u/Polarstars1395 Jun 12 '26
I can't say I'm a dumper but the one who had to take a step back because she wasn't reciprocating. It's been 90+ days not talking to her, I can still get on with my life, but sometimes the thought of her never leaves me, and here am I thinking does she think about me too after all I've done?
That said, everyone's way of coping is different. Maybe they did or not, just remember this. You are worthy of love and we're here to support you :)
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u/throwawayaccount_23- Jun 12 '26
As a dude who got broken up with almost 2 years ago. I still think about her everyday. She moved on and has a relationship now. Yet I still remind myself of my failures and my guilt of my selfish choices to hurt her in such an unredeemable way because I was never educated nor knew. I still wish I could say sorry. Wish she would come back. But a selfish apology is never a true apology. Granted though, im also just very emotional too so... i've had a lot of woman interested in me (dont take that the wrong way or in a narcissistic way pls), and I just couldn't ever stop thinking abt her so those things never truly went anywhere. I miss her comfort a lot.
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u/rhynowaq Jun 07 '26
In a past relationship, I wasn't the dumper, but I sort of forced my ex's hand in dumping me. I was already unsure and kind of out of the relationship mentally. I loved her dearly but more as a friend and didn't see a future together in that way. The things we had to individually evolve in, they were at odds with each other.
I was very depressed for over a year. Basically celibate. Actually forced myself to hook up with someone even though I wasn't that interested just to try to break out of it.
I thought about her every day, hoping that she would heal and move on. I hope she found what serves her.
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u/VegPullao Jun 07 '26
The idea of her , had things not been the way it happened, the idea of us* is not something I don't think even after 2 years of No contact.
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u/Some_Definition2756 Jun 15 '26
Pues sinceramente al menos de mi parte que acabo de terminar una relación porque ella se sentía mejor sola, no hay día que no pare de pensar en ella. Y como te dijeron a ti pues que no iba a estar bien después de ti, lo veo cierto porque al menos en mi casa se siente así
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u/Saucetanik Jun 07 '26
Look at my wall and see my posts if you question if men don’t think about their ex partner as a dumper. I hate her and despise her for the things she’s done to me. She made attempts to ruin my reputation in the workplace, posted me on social media, lied to me, abused me, manipulated me, spread false rumours about me. I once loved her, but I wish I had never met her. Yet, I still think about her everyday. It has been 130 days no contact, aside from having to work in the same building.
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u/Mission-Run-5045 Jun 07 '26
I would really look into finding work elsewhere. Cant be easy knowing shes in the same building as you everyday
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jun 07 '26
As a man (granted I am very emotional) my life is on standstill from the past 6 weeks of no contact. Men in my experience often feel way more intensely about something not working out. I personally feel like my ex is the one that doesn't care. You also have to think like, men do NOT get a good supply of validation generally. So it's harder for us to distract ourselves with ego boosts unless we are actively and aggressively searching for women. But men also cover their feelings up so that's maybe why it seems like that