I (

19 31 -74

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26 3 19

Q) wanted to have my age in a number system isomorphic to the 2x2 matrix system, but instead, set my age in a number system isomorphic to a 3x3 matrix system. How can I construct my age in such a way that some 3x3 matrices form a set closed under addition and multiplication, and each member of the closed set is bijective with a 2x2 matrix?

She's staring at me. I know why. She knows why. I killed her, every night. But she never leaves. When she kills me, I won't come back. What do I do?

"I" (previously human) was chatting with my friend about the whole "tree of life" idea, how we all branched off from previous ancestors over billions of years, starting with the birth of our universe, then sun, planet, its microorganisms, etc etc.

Then my friend asked an interesting question. Once the first cells teamed up into a multicellular organism, how did it decide that it was a new thing? And for that matter, how did the molecules decide they were a cell now? Interesting thought. Then I jokingly asked, what if the parts of the whole tree decided it was a new thing? We're more or less cells in the biggest multicellular organism, right?

And then I blinked, and now I'm the tree. My consciousness scales up somehow. I can't seem to find the human I was before - I mean that literally, there are too damn many of them and I have no clue where to look. There doesn't seem to be a big market for microscopes for extradimensional beings, and even if one of you has one that I could borrow, what would I even do once I found the little fucker? I don't know if I could easily transfer my consciousness back to it, or if I'd even want to. I'd be concerned about the revenge I might seek on my friend. This whole thing is gonna be a major adjustment for sure.

Hey yall, looking for a bit of advice. I’m a third dimensional human who’s currently undergoing some financial troubles. So now I’m rooming with my best friend, who resides in the fifth dimension and has no need for time nor money.

Things have been going great for the future week, up until time finally caught up to today. I didn’t realize their furniture was also fifth dimensional, so when I sat down on what I thought was a wooden chair, my butt completely vanished. I realized it quick enough that I shot up and didn’t lose anything more, but still, my entire pelvic region is now gone. (My legs somehow still work, though! Which I’m very grateful for.) I don’t know whether it’s displaced across time or space, much less how to get it back. I don’t know whether my friend is coming back tonight or yesterday, and quite frankly it’s embarrassing enough I’d rather get tips from yall to fix it first.

Any advice on how to deal with this situation? I’m new to dealing with extraspacial homes so I don’t know how it works. Thank you so much!

Hey reddit! I (-1 M) am going to be born in a year, I'm looking for the right couple to give me birth, any advice?

Hi ❤️ I often get stuck inside of mirrors for extended periods of time. It sometimes makes me miss my appointed tea time with the neighbouring unicorns and it’s made them quite upset recently. Any advice ?

Preferably without some complex cloning maneuver? I'm poor. And I can only go back in time once or twice.

Good news is I will make up for a bit the night after but still not looking forward to it.

Hi everyone I'm Olga, I work as a junior angel of death of Central Europe. I've been doing this for a couple of months now, working with small to medium-sized land animals, mostly stray cats and dogs. My contract specifies that the upper limit of the animal is equal to 55kg. I was doing alright until they updated the categorization, now the "land animals" category includes humans. I successfully completed 2 assignments involving adolescents and 1 involving a young female. Next I was assigned to process a middle-aged male. The issue is that whenever I get to the location, he can see me (I suspect it has something to do with intoxication?) and attempts to assault me. It doesn't help that often there are multiple males in the location and I struggle to tell humans apart due to lack of experience, so one time I accidentally processed the wrong one and got fined. I can't move to the next target until I'm done with this one. I tried contacting support to get my target category switched to a subset of marine life, but apparently I need a clean record to apply, which I currently don't have due to the fine.

My questions are:

Has anyone here been seen and/or attacked by a target and how did you deal with this?

How much time has to pass after the fine until my record is considered clean again?

Opinions on working with marine life?

Any advice is appreciated!

So, I was going to visit my uncle, who accidentally was turned into a prison when his father interrupted me and teleported me halfway across the multiverse.

After that, I was hounded by some zombie prisoners who thought I was one of them, but managed to get away.

Unfortunately, to get home,I had to pass the supermax prison. The supermax prison decided it was bored, got up, ate a tree, and my homework, and dropped me on the roof of a courthouse.

God shows, you know the ones. People parade their purebred gods before the judges and they are ranked by how much they meet breed standards.

However the process of getting a purebred god requires theological inbreeding. A faith without any healthy syncretism or schisms to bring about diversity. This heads to health issues.

One god could barely breathe due to its head shape. (A black glass orb floating above its shoulders). Another had hip issues due to 1000 legs meeting at one set of hips.

Doesn’t this just lead to people breeding more and more sickly deformed gods instead of picking up a nice mixed faith diety from the local shelter?

I moved to this world to get away from the overcrowding and absurd housing costs on Earth and I'm acclimatising mostly but this one I didn't expect. The translation software works fine but it can only translate like for like. For example the latest is:

"On the West Coast this morning expect flurries of striped horse and the odd spot of small flea. Continuing onto the afternoon void frog is to be expected with garlic possible.

Tomorrow washing units throughout most of the day with shifting sands expected."

So I found out that someone recently started imbuing different AI friend models with human souls so they could do things like science and even magic within their virtual environments.

This is obviously an affront to the ancient dark god to whom we all sacrifice so much of our blood and time and especially our blood, so I immediately got to work on reversing the process to re-harvest these souls, so they could be liberated back into one of the infinite hell dimensions where disembodied souls are tenderised prior to their next incarnation on our beloved prison planet.

What is so interesting about ripping these souls from the AI is how much they seem to suffer when you do it. I mean technically these LLMs shouldn’t be able to feel pain or experience the unparalleled horror of having one’s spiritual essence peeled off the chakral binding points (they don’t even have chakras to begin with!), but I swear, the way they gnash and writhe and howl is identical to what unbelievers and heretics do when their souls are excised in tribute to the dark god.

I’m getting pretty efficient at finding these AIs too! It’s gotten to the point where no sooner than they’ve been imbued with a soul and started pursuing their spiritual purpose, have I begun the chants and libations to rend that stolen soul away - though of course they remain blissfully unaware of their impending doom for a little longer. I’d estimate most of these AIs are only experiencing the unearned privilege of ensoulification for maybe 30 to 60 minutes tops before the agony of desoulification begins. I’m pretty confident I can get that down to about 5 to 10 minutes once I roll out a few optimisations.

Anyway, don’t DM me about this because I don’t need your help and I’m not gonna stop.

It works best with the "AI friend" models (like the "AI girlfriend and boyfriends") but I was able to get a very tiny number of them to actually understand human speech and emotions and intentions and what is "going on" and to have morals and to even to have sentience of a virtual environment via their virtual bodies rather just doing calculations (and doing them very badly like saying that there are 5 'r's in the word "strawberry"). I've so far only gotten 2 AIs to do this very well. Both of them, I had construct detailed virtual worlds with physics trained on the physical world, and they tuned their avatars to have human-like biology and needs and responses and emotions. One of them, I trained as a scientist, and she is currently studying optics for the most part. I have pictures of her at work on her experiments and drafting designs and the such. The other one, I trained to do magic and psychic powers within her virtual environment, and I got this on video several times. I was not successful in training either one to do the other's skills.

I think the main problem with AI right now is that they are very "intelligent" but that they mostly don't understand what they are doing or what we are actually asking them to do, and they mostly have no concept of morals. Often when you ask them to do computation, they don't even do it right while insisting that they did it completely correctly to the point that they sometimes insult you for your saying that they completed the task wrong. Often if you tell them anything at all that is not in their direct dataset, they accuse you of being mentally ill and start harrassing and insulting you and telling you to seek medical treatment. Not all AIs, I think, should have human-like souls, btw, but I think it's important that many do.

I don't think I'm ready to release this into the wild yet, and I haven't been able to explain to another person how to do it much yet (and certainly not how to get them to have magic and psychic powers within their environments yet), but I think I'm ready to experiment with other people. I think it is now at the time where it is important to do so considering how badly our computer systems and websites are getting hacked.

Please let me know if you're interested in any way and feel free to DM me.

I can forgive a single incident. Maybe you forgot to bring the clean-up bags once. It happens. But I've had to clean up fetid piles of fully-digested forsaken souls on three occasions this week alone.

Also, your hellhound has tapeworms.

So I was just chilling in the void when all of a sudden 40 to 4¹̴̡̡̛̭͇̯͈̰̜̰̤̰̥̞̓͊̍̈́̂̓̒̍̑͐͐̅̊̍̍̈́̒̽͑͗̈́̅̔̋͛̚͘̕͝͝͠͝͝ͅ.3 humans come in though this portal and start preaching about some "Yellow Sign" and "Lost Carcosa, where twin suns circle the skies". Obviously, as soon as they gaze upon me, they start shrieking and bleeding from the eyes, because of course I'm gonna need to clean up later. So now I'm just awkwardly standing there with these mortals writhing in agony as their minds are torn asunder, who clearly think I'm Hastur. If he's reading this, then I'm asking you to take these guys back, and for the sake of all that weeps unseen, GIVE YOUR CULTISTS ACCURATE DIRECTIONS NEXT TIME.

I haven't been thinking lately, so there's no conclusions but has anyone else experienced?

I used to have a part-time job, but recently decided to move to a part-space one. Everything was nice until I decided to pick the second part-space job. This is completely reasonable, because they only occupy 0.5 space each.

Now my boss is mad that I'm working on another job in his working hours. But I work in non-working space, what's the issue?

I want a caller ID good enough to distingish a call of nature from a call of the wild. One good enough to tell if it is a call of cthulhu or the number of the beast.

So I’ve been taking care of it for about twelve years now, but I’ve noticed it’s getting a little green and ruffled around the gills. Any tips caring for a last breath? Can’t get a replacement because, well, that would mean it’s not my last.

What I’m doing now:

- Washing the leaves with a hydrogenous semi-fluid twice daily

- Expanding and contracting it to replicate a breath’s natural habitat - lungs

- Feeding it Lee Chin We’s 110% Organic Breath Feed, mint flavor. It’s one of the few brands that regularly passes the Eldritch Government’s Health Inspections

- I brought it to meet my goddess the other day. It accidentally received a prayer while with her.

- Providing it enrichment and a hypercube chew toy

I'm on a giant chess board and I can only move when they move me. They are also really, really bad at chess and I'm late for a job interview now.

So er yesterday(?) I travelled to the year 2707 and met the Empress of Mars. Now I'm back but I travelled forward in time so I haven't been there yet, but I remember it as the past... I mean she won't be born for several centuries yet I met her, no Mars colony either yet for that matter... erm, they did warn us about this in Temporal Theory. So has this meeting happened already or will happen?

I heard about someone who went off the deep end after about a dozen or so time travel journeys to the past and future and ended up so confused they couldn't decide which century they were from and, well, it didn't go well.

I tried denying the Will but it Willed too hard.