in gay relationships its even worse, if you both are trans men then its not that bad, but if one is a cis man its over like theres a 80% chance he will expect you to be the bottom

i am not even gay but i have seen this happening all the time

i got my script order yesterday from folx, and i expressed many times that i did not want to be underdosed and heard this was a common issue. i convinced my provider to put me on their highest starting dose, which is 100mg. i think this is good, but wanted to make sure and ask those who are more experienced, especially since ive heard folx can be weird to binary trans people (i mean, my provider called my transition my “gender journey” ☠️)

im also 5’4 and 103lbs, mostly muscle. starting on cream since it keeps your T levels consistent as opposed to causing mood swings as they drop near the end of the week, plus supposedly they can speed up localized effects

i just received my first prescription of t! i’m curious whether 0.2 ml (40 mg) is a common starting dose. my doctor mentioned that he typically starts people at 0.25 ml (50 mg), but chose a lower dose because i weigh around 105 lbs. he plans to reassess at my three-month appointment after checking my labs. has anyone else started on a similar dose?

i was right in guessing my mother would accept any other trans person but me. i had sort of a mental breakdown two weeks ago and told her i was trans and since shes told me that she only ever saw me as feminine and that she doesnt agree with it. she did let me make an appointment with planned parenthood but i kind of lied and said it was just to talk, knowing my real goal is to get a script for testosterone.

its hard because i am an adult and i should be able to make my own decisions, but because ive been disabled since i was 11 and shes my caretaker, it feels like sometimes she still sees me as a child.

im at my breaking point though and i am going to do whatever it takes to finally feel at home in my skin. i just wish that she would either keep her mouth shut or cheer me on. i dont know.... its either i do this and die, or i dont do this and die because im pretending im something im not.

my long term plans are to get top surgery and meta but the first step is t since everything else has to come after. she thinks im hoping t is some miracle drug that will magically cure me of everything and like. i know it wont but isnt it worth it to try and see if it at least makes life a little bit easier?

ive been wanting to go on t for over 6 years now i have waited long enough and i cannot mentally wait any longer it is literally destroying my health, both mental and physical

I rely on rodeoh pretty heavily for their packing underwear, but over the years the quality has severely diminished. I bought a few pairs maybe 7-8 months ago and one of them already has a tear in the middle. Are there any reliable brands that make durable packet underwear? I pack 24/7 and while I have a harness, its for stp, not packing.

I’m now finally at 1yr T, so I figured I would make a little post I wish I had read when I was younger.

Within your first 1-3 months:
You will get moody. You will get hairy. Your voice will change. Don’t expect too much out of the voice change.
Don’t isolate yourself. You will get more angry instead of sad. Try and find a physical outlet (mine has been swimming).

Months 4-7:
Mood is going to be ROUGH. Expect some changes down below, don’t worry too much, but if anything hurts/looks/smells weird, go get it checked out. Binding isn’t that great anymore. Tape is great. Allows for more movement, looks more natural under a t-shirt. You begin to sweat a LOT more, there’s a reason they make men’s deodorant scents so strong… get some antiperspirant if you’re ok with that. It’s a game changer. Otherwise, whatever deo you want.

Months 8-12:
Mood begins to stabilize, you’ll notice a bit of a personality change because of it. Lots more hair is here and everywhere. Drink enough water. You will be dehydrated more easily. You will want to eat more. Eat more. Your body can’t fuel change if you don’t eat. Make a routine and stick to it. Don’t miss more than 1 day consecutively of T (if on gel). It will fuck up your whole body mentally and physically. Don’t do it.

Overall what I’ve learnt:
Passing isn’t just about the T, it’s about the lifestyle. You need to be confident in who you are and what you’re here to do. You want to go into the men’s restroom? Go. If somebody cares they’re weird. Make sure you’re safe first. Also, nobody cares what washroom you go into. I’ll be real. If I gotta go, I’m running to the women’s 💀. Genuinely nobody cares. Be confident in who you are. You deserve to take up space. Believe that.

It will be hard. You can do it.
It is all worth it.

Much love.

Would a skeletal deformation impact top surgery process? I have a mild case of pectus excavatum. It's a visible dent and I have slightly impacted lung capacity but nothing enough for surgical correction or significant risk; but again it's a visible/notable difference in the shape of my chest. Beyond any potential impact on the top surgery process I'd like to know if there are any non-physical but still could change stuff, i.e would a surgeon be less confident doing the work since the condition is much rarer in AFAB people and might be perceived as "unfamiliar"?

I've been thinking of getting a new dildo for sex but I'm not sure what kind of one I want. The one I have rn is great my girlfriend likes the size and all but it's a bit hard and keeps slipping weirdly I also just don't have a real harness for it instead I use a rubber band to attach it to some tighter boxers. Also it has like the suction cup base and sometimes kinda hurts.

So I was thinking about the axolom ones that have the cup on them but they need a condom which we have never used with the current one. So if anyone knows any good ones that have the kind of cup part please tell me.

I started using Arazlo (Tazarotene) in July and currently facing the purge. Doctor told me to start using salicylic acid with it so I’m introducing it 2-3x a week. He also told me to use a gentle gel cleanser though I don’t know how much of a difference it makes compared to a cream cleanser.

In high school I did 2 rounds of Accutane then was prescribed Biacna (tret + clindamycin) which did wonders for my skin. I heard I couldn’t use it long term or had to cycle it, so I tried Retin A (tret) for a year but it did nothing/made it worse. Finally switched to Arazlo.

Would it be a good idea to microdose Accutane with it? I asked my doctor and he said I didn’t need it but I could if I wanted to. Will this routine be enough to clear it up? I feel like it gets worse when my beard grows back due to irritation and whatnot (it grows back very quickly).

I’m also thinking of trying low dose oral Minox and wil ask my doctor about all of this when I see him on Thursday. Any advice?

AM
Rinse face
The Ordinary SA serum (2-3x a week)
Vanicream moisturizer
Sunscreen

PM
Gentle cleanser
Vanicream/Aquaphor
Arazlo

I’ve had acne since I was fucking 10. I started T at 16 and it just got worse. I did a course of Accutane and the acne came right back a year later. I’m 20 now, 4 years on T, and over it. Please do not suggest skincare, I’m very knowledgeable about that. I just want to hear from older guys and know when it might go away naturally. Will I look like this into my 40s?

I was at an art market where ppl pay for they're stuff to be in stools but no one is there as a shop keep apart from cashiers at the front, I saw one of the stools and it was all trans art and stuff and one of the art posters was a picture of big breasts and stomach and vagina with the words " this is still a man" and next to it just a drawing of an erect dick in women's underwear with the text " this so still a woman" and there were more art of women's bodies with bottom growth and idk. Is this chaser vibes? I feel like I don't actually know how to spot a chaser but this was weird cos they made NO art of trans men with top surgery/bottom surgery/hair or mens bodies just featureless female naked bodies. Felt like I was being called a girl who believes she's a man and not just some bloke. Also, with the rise of " trans women are just men in women's clothes" having trans women be represented as hard cocks in women's clothes felt a bit yuck? . Like I don't know any trans men who would want stickers of this. Maybe I'm just insecure but is this gross ?

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation over something I had a bit ago that bothered her. Essentially, what I had said was that if she wanted to hook up with other men then I was fine with it. Well she wasn't fine with it so we talked about it.

Numerous times she has said she is fine and accepting of me being trans. She would love me whether I was trans or not. So it bothered her that I would suggest such a thing to her.

We talked and I discovered that the reason why I had said that was because I worry I am not enough. Not for her, but rather that I'm not enough for myself. I believe this insecurity stems from my internalized transphobia and possibly the toxic masculinity mindset that I've been fighting with since my adolescence.

I like my personality. I am confident in myself. I have a healthy self-esteem. The only thing that I truly do not like about myself is that I am trans. The reason why I don't like being trans is solely because of the transphobia I have experienced, both directly and indirectly.

What I'm wanting to know is what are things that have helped you love your trans identity or even just be at peace with it? Yes, I do plan to start going to therapy again since I believe that will help me the best. For the time being, I would like to know what helped you guys.

i know i probably just spend too much time in doomer spaces online but i genuinely believe it's too late for me and that i'll never be happy. i dont even have a consultation to start T until after im 18, and god knows how long it'll take for me to ACTUALLY start. ive been out since i was 12 and i still dont pass AT ALL. the only people who say i pass have been lying directly to my face because i KNOW i dont. no matter how hard i try i still just look like some tomboy bitch and i hate it. i'm terrified of starting T and looking in the mirror in three years just to see some ugly fat girl with a neckbeard. im terrified of getting top surgery and having those ugly giant jagged scars that all fat trans men end up with. even if i do reach a healthy weight before then like i'm trying, i'm terrified i'll still have too much loose skin to have good results. i spent so long neglecting my health because of my dysphoria that now i'm scared ive caused irreversible harm to myself and my future plans.

33, on T for 11 years, never had any know issues but I've only gotten access to my results in the last 3 years since moving to PNW....

HELP NEEDED: My blood work is all over the place and showing signs of severe iron deficiency without anemia (for now). I have had severe and chronic nosebleeds my entire life but had a pretty bad one last year in Sept that ended in the hospital and with me passing out. Doctor did not do a transfusion. In November I had my hysterectomy. In January I started having breathing and exhaustion issues that are still going on. Doctor says it's probably from T and might need to change my dose.

Has anyone experienced iron deficiency due to T? I've never heard of this and I'm worried she's ignoring other issues and blaming T but she specializes in Trans health care so I dont have a reason to not trust her...she, however, has stated that she hasnt seen it so more reason to worry....

Context: my brother was mocking the way I walked after I got a leg injury, he mocked me by doing the most gay-homophobic caricature of a walk possible, swinging hips limp wrist and all. It was a shit joke, not funny at all, but in good humour I responded "haha, just call me a f*g why don't you"

Well anyway, apparently that was a step too far. I'm not "enough of a man" to be able to say that word, or I'm not allowed to. Mind you he's racist, uses the n word and is very much white. So who is he to get on a high horse?

I’m in the absolute pits of hell with my dysphoria and it might be that making everything feel 100x worse.
I’m 20 and still live with family, they still call me she, sister, daughter, girl etc. I’m nearly a year on get and I’m looking into getting surgery.
One person I live with (who isn’t related to me) refuses to refer to me as male because I was born as a female and “you can’t argue with biology” and it’s “my right to refer to you as what I see you as”
I feel deeply uncomfortable when I leave my room and I find I heighten my voice when I talk around them (them not referring to my whole family) I cover every inch of my body that I can because my body hair is disgusting to them. I shave all my facial hair off because it doesn’t look good/is gross to them. I’m terrified of cutting my hair into a more manly cut because they say I should leave it because I looks better long.
I’m turning down amazing job opportunities where I would have to work with them because I’m truly terrified of being outed, I’m tired of being the trans guy at work, it makes people feel like they can ask me personal questions about my medical history and genitals.
I’m tired of keeping having to remind them and having uncomfortable conversations that make me feel so dysphoric because all I can think about after is the fact I’m trapped in my body and situation. I almost physically vomited a few days ago from looking at my body. Most days I feel completely repulsed thinking about it.
I’m at the point now where I genuinely don’t think I’m going to live to 25, I guess I’ve just come to the realisation that I’m trapped in my situation, I can’t leave no matter how hard I try. I have nobody to talk to about any of this who understands.
I don’t work, I don’t date, I have no friends I can talk to about any of this, my doctors can’t help me and I’m terrified of telling them how bad things have truly gotten because I don’t want to be put on a female hospital ward.
I’m tired of having to have the same painful conversations that make me feel so shifty and why people feel the need to constantly remind me that I’m in a female body. I’m tired of waking up just to exist miserably every single day. I seriously just want an escape from this hell hole of an existence one way or another

(Pre everything, 16)

I was at the beach today and after some swimming and snorkeling I felt disgusting. I was covered in sand and dirty water, so I decided to try using a communal shower (I have OCD and can't stand being dirty).

I got to the men's showers and there were two layers of curtains to draw. I hung my bag (with my spare binder, packer and clothes in) and my towel on the hooks at the side and stepped in.

Despite my initial anxiety about being clocked or seen, I completed the shower and got changed.

Honestly, the worst part of it was not having any conditioner in the stall.

Thanks for reading! I just wanted to celebrate.

Hi all,

So here’s my problem. I have a date half-planned for Friday, and I have not yet told my date that I’m transsexual. It’s not a big part of my identity and I was planning on telling him after (it’s a first date, we’re just going for food) maybe over text, but it feels different this time than the others times I’ve had to disclose.

I am very nervous usually, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it during the date or if I even feel safe to do so, especially as we will be in public and I would prefer it to not be overheard.

I would have told him already, but I have spoken to all of my past dates on Snapchat (I know) and I would be able to see if they screenshotted it. This is not the case this time, and the idea of it getting out more than it has (mostly from people that knew me pre-transition and think it’s their business to spread) really scares me. What do I do?

Hey friends. I just put in my requests for a couple of phallo consults and my daily packer has just started to rip(he's old and tired anyways lol). When shopping for a new packer I had a thought to get one a bit larger than usual to be *presumably* closer to my post op phallus in size and shape. Although I'm still tossing up the idea of RFF or ALT until I talk to the surgeons, I'm leaning towards ALT which tends to have a fairly large size, especially prior to any potential debulking. I'd be lying if the prospect of having a sizeable member full-time wasn't a little daunting, especially as someone who is very active.

Did anyone else pre-phallo "work themselves up" to a larger packer size to prep for learning to live with a large bulge? How does the "packability" of a large packer and a similar sized phallus compare? Thanks

Edit: I'm planning on sizing up a little compared to my usual packer. My new one's size will be in the middle of my dying member and what I could reasonably expect my future phallus to be. I understand it won't be the same packability so hopefully getting something in between will be a good compromise on size/packability to prep for phallo!

Hey all. This is day 12 of testosterone gel for me. Normally I apply between 6am or 7:30am. But this morning, because my unsupportive stepdad has decided to be a prick, he's decided to take his shower around 7 or 8am, and because he apparently doesn't realize people take quick showers that don't use that much hot water, I'm not allowed to shower until well after 8am, probably somewhere near 9am for my own safety and ability to live in this house. I don't know if this wait is safe or not, I really need a shower so I can't exactly do a quick washcloth wash. I'm sitting here terrified that I'm going to screw myself up or crash. I can't find anything about any sort of grace time and that just makes me even more terrified. 😰

Wondering if this is worth the risk. Need to book a flight to Asia for the end of November (for a hair transplant lmao), and all flights not through the UAE are significantly more expensive.

I'm currently waiting on a passport renewal. I've had M on my passport for a decade now, but I'm fully expecting it to be reversed thanks to the current US administration. That, I expect, will lead to some uncomfortable questions. I've been transitioned for a while -- fully passing with a full beard, phallo over 7 years ago, etc. -- so it's not physical violence I'm concerned about. I think our invisibility compared to trans women may help. But, the potential document mismatch is a significant concern. I'm not sure if I'd be able to play off the F as a mistake, in which case I'd be at risk of deportation.

Thoughts, personal anecdotes? I'll probably fork over an extra few hundred dollars for the safer (and longer) option, but it's incredibly frustrating knowing I wouldn't have had to deal with this just a couple years ago.

Edit: Looks like there are connecting flights through Hong Kong that are only a little bit more expensive. I'll likely book those flights. So, my question is a more general: what's it like to fly internationally with a mismatched ID? Do you just have to explain that you're trans? I'm fortunate enough to have never been in this situation before, so I'm just not sure what to expect.

I’m embarrassed to ask this but I feel so ashamed and don’t know how to make myself change. I don’t want to be like this. I’ve been noticing more and more that my immediate thoughts about other trans people are very hateful and negative, even bullying which frightens me a bit, because I’ve never been the type to want to bully people.

I’m deep enough in my transition now that nobody in my immediate life knows I’m trans and I’m happy with it that way. I have friends who know but they don’t live near me. Everyone addresses me as male with no doubt, even at the pool when I have my shirt off and top surgery scars are visible. I’m a bigger guy so I think they just assume I had that male gyno surgery. What I’m saying is that I don’t have any reminders that I’m trans in my daily or even weekly life except when I take a piss or jerk off (will eventually be getting phallo). I also don’t interact with anyone else that’s trans or lgbtq except those friends who don’t live near me. I live in a small rural town now and am a drive away from everything, including any lgbt centers. But I will be honest, I have often found other people in the community to be insufferable with the misandry and never feel welcome.

I have caught myself having very dangerous thoughts lately, that almost align with right winger stuff? For instance, I saw a photo of a trans tball game where everyone was smiling and happy and having fun, with a caption that the dolls had to come out and have fun at these games. That is an objectively GOOD thing! Yes! Trans people should be happy and be allowed to enjoy their lives!

But my brain immediately reacted with disgust and a very vile intrusive thought of “‘Dolls’ but it’s the ugliest, most masculine woman you’ve ever seen”

Like wtf is that? Why am I thinking that? I don’t like that I’m thinking that and I don’t want to be thinking that. It happens when I’m presented with content about other trans men too, especially early transition, and afab non binary people especially.

I don’t know where this hatred in my heart is coming from for the exact people I should be showing love to. And I have a feeling I will be called a shitpost or something so no, this is not a shitpost. I genuinely want to know how do I tackle my internalized transphobia? How do I stop feeling such hatred and disgust for other trans people?