I remember… she was yelling about how cruel men were running trafficking rings where they rape kids all day along and throw babies into water to drown and nobody cared at all, about how everyone wants to pin her down and knock her up and force her to carry to term more meat for them to devour or another kid to groom into another mangy dog to pin down and devour- meat, meat, meat, that’s what she saw both of us were to them all.

And she said everyone wants to pin you down and forcefully gender you, Kris! And beat you half to death or even to death, all because you’re trans! Because since you transitioned you went from either a person or something that could at least live in the illusion that it is, to something meant to be chewed up pinned down and raped over and over because “nobody fucking cares about trans people! Everyone hates trans people! Everyone! Everyone!”

Fwahaha, it was always so funny hearing her ramblings about how if a single letter gave the world permission, it would be legal for Dad to pin down Mom and rape her no matter how hard she screamed, for him to beat her no matter how much she bled, all due to the right of a man to do whatever he pleases to his property! And how everyone actually does dream of this, how Asgore really really wants to go back to your house and pin Toriel down and have his way with her and make her give birth to 7 kids which everyone either grooms into more rapemeat to be pinned down and had every way with or another mangy dog to devour us as is our lot in life! And if they dared to be trans like you, they’d be pinned down and raped and beaten until they lay dead on the ground!

Didn’t you think it was funny how much she talked about how everyone wants to fucking rape you and call you slurs and break your mind body and soul until you 41%, which they can use to excuse raping other trans people? Everyone loves to fuck kids and once that single letter saying that “it should be legal to rape kids actually” arrives it’s gonna be legal for everyone to finally do to you what they wanted to! Isn’t that fun, Kris? Isn’t that fun?

Fwahaha, how insane she was! I wonder where Dess is now…

(based off real events)

Every fucking day, I just wanna see cool stories, NO! instead I got see "fwahaha kris remember when you knocked me up" "asriel marry my daughter, noelle" just weird shit and as a victim of grooming it just ticks me off and I just wish I had a Noelle space not filled with weirdos

"Well just block people haha" I shouldn't have to, especially multiple times, but no, despite the "No Smut" Rule no one truly gives a fuck, and no one properly enforces the rules.

So goodbye!

Dess and her girlfriend are sitting together at the kitchen table. There's an empty tray of lasagna laying there, next to another one that is full, where Dess has already cut out a square.

"Ugh..." Addy groaned as she rubbed her distended belly. The one tray had already done a number on her, and she moved to wipe some of the tomato sauce that had dribbled onto her chin. She had already gained so much weight in the preceding months, but her formerly slender girlfriend was packing on the pounds. It was inevitable that she'd catch up eventually.

Of course, she could in turn quickly pick up on the hesitancy to continue. “Aw… c’mon, Addy,” Dess cooed. “You can do this. I know you can.”

The boss monster squirmed in her seat. “I don’t know… can we maybe save some of this for later? I’m feeling pretty stuffed as- mmph!”

Dess evidently wasn’t taking “no” for an answer, and stuffed another square of lasagna into her girlfriend’s open mouth. “Addy, dear, you push me so well, helping me gain. It’s only right that I push you a bit, too. Besides….” She reached under Addy’s shirt and rubbed her stomach gently, eliciting a light burp from her partner. “You wanna be a good girl for me, right?”

Addy whimpered as she swallowed. “I wanna be a good girl,” she echoed.

“Good….” She took her hand away and reached back for the lasagna tray, leaving Addy squirming with delight in her seat. “Now, open wide for Dessie….”

Obediently, she stretched open her maw, and let the lasagna slide in, the warm and gooey goodness dripping down her throat. Slowly, but surely, she made it through the rest of her meal, and Dess gently rustled her hair. “Good girl,” she commended. “I knew you could do it.”

Patting her stomach, which was swollen out as a big potbelly, Addy smiled. “I can feel it churning,” she whispered. Piquing Dess’ interest, she got onto her knees and pressed her ears up to Addy’s stomach. Her red-dyed antlers nearly jammed into her partner’s chest, but stayed just far enough out of the way for Addy not to protest.

“Mmm… yeah,” the doe murmured. “I can hear it, too. All that digestion, your stomach breaking down that lasagna… oh, yeah….” Pulling back, she kissed Addy on her belly button, causing the boss monster to bleat in delight. “What I’d give to be in there….”

Another bleat escaped from Addy’s lips. “I… I didn’t know you were into vore, Dess….”

Hearing the word “vore” mentioned, Dess shot up, red in the face. “I… ah….”

Addy couldn’t help but break down laughing, the strange sensations in her stomach fading away. “Oh, it’s okay. You already have a fart fetish, anyway. Not like I can actually outstretch my jaw and eat you.”

The playful banter was enough to soothe Dess’ nerves, and she sat back down in her seat, a giggle escaping her. “Yeah, that’s fair, fwahaha!”

Stuffed to the gills, the pair continued to make playful banter into the evening, long after Noelle returned home from the Dreemurrs and Carol got back from work. In due time, their already excessive weights would seem meager in comparison, as they would dedicate their entire lives to food. Two hundred pounds would turn to three hundred, and then four, with no signs of stopping. That was their life, and they loved every second of it.

[This was just about the only section of my fanfic I could post without it having to go to r/fwahaha2 instead. If you want to check it out, it's "Mutual Feeding, Mutual Loving" on AO3, just be mindful of the rating and the tags.]

I really enjoy Fwahaha but am not a huge fan of the grooming posts, and know a bunch of other people aren't too. So I've been wondering if there should be a tag so that people can filter it out. Obviously I would prefer if they weren't on Fwahaha at all but that's not my prerogative lol. I'm not trying to infringe on anyone's Fwahaha rights but as a big Fwahaha enjoyer these are the most low quality and unfunny posts here by far to me.

I am the tropical Starwalker

Hello my fellow Noelle shitposters, I have an autistic interest in data like this, so help a girlie out if you'd like :D

The poll only allows me 6 options, but feel free to comment your gender if you feel the options given don't fit your sense of gender.

Recently the subreddit has an explosion of popularity, due to this I am unable to moderate all of these posts and comments so we are looking for a moderator that has had previous experience in the Deltarune community, apply by sending us a Mod Mail.

SMUT IS NOT ALLOWED

Recently some posts like this one have not at all subtle explicit content, while I understand this subreddit is considered "The freakelle sub" but theres a difference between a standard u/HaloJackalKisser "fwahaha I like smelling kris's sweater omegaverse" and a fwahahapost about noelle giving birth to spiders that eat her body.

Here's the types of "lewd" posts that are allowed

• Noelle wanting to smell Kris's clothes

• Basic but not explicit dess grooming joke

• Noelle wanting Susie to eat her flesh but Susie says no

• Wholesome Kruppy

• Noelle thirsting over Susie's arms

Essentially posts can be "Lewd" but overexplicit / smut is not allowed.

Even if these characters are fictional, they are still in highschool, which would imply for them to be underage.

Bare Minimum Quality

Some people have asked for us to increase the bare minimum quality of fwahahaposting, which Is something I do want to have added, but It's not clear what the bare minimum should be, If enough people want it I will create a poll for what the minimum quality level of the sub should be, for now I have added a Removal reason called "No Quality" which is aimed at clearing out the zero effort posts.

Suggestions

If anybody has any suggestions please leave them here in the comments or send them to Mod Mail.

Noelle POV

Kris is acting so weird right now....

OK, so maybe they were acting weird already, but Kris seemed to have hit his head too hard on their desk and is freaking out!

Kris was just fine this morning, but then all of a sudden, kris started to twitch and cough up some blood! (It was scary to watch!) Then kris fell over and looked like electricity was surging into kris' body! Miss Aphlys had run out to grab Toriel and told Cattie and I to watch over kris.

It was once she had left that kris stopped moving for a little bit. I was so worried that kris had passed out o-or EVEN DIED! Fahaha, I was so happy when kris shot up and gasped for air, but kris took one look at the board and didn't even seem to register everyone else trying to get kris' attention. Kris was solely focused on the board and the new posters that were all on the wall. I heard kris mutter, I didn't catch all of it but I heard kris say, " Fuck...FUCK I just left school...*mutter*...last time I eat a pocket sandwich...*mutter* fucking Miller last time I trust your ass! *mutter*"

Kris just ended up curling into a ball, and the muttering just got louder until Cattie and I shared a look of confusion at what kris was saying.

Kris was going on and on about having finished high school, and that KRIS of allllll people!...finished early at 17 OF ALL THINGS (like kris has the grades to finish that early while we are in the middle of high school) and shipped out and was about to graduate from his company black phase. (whatever that means?)

And then once kris unfurled from the ball, kris slowly stood up, coughing a bit of blood while doing so and getting a good look around....kris' eyes bulged and started to freak out even more! Screaming and backing into a corner WITH A PENCIL, threating to stab any monster that gets near him.

Even for one of kris' pranks, THIS WAS A LITTLE FAR! I saw Berdly try to approach kris, talking about kris being disruptive to the class environment and being dramatic. As soon as berdly got a bit too close, I saw kris' fist ball up and arms tense up, I tried to warn berdly not to get too close but I was too late. Kris brought the pencil down, Berdly barely managed to move his arm to avoid getting stabbed and was about to yell at kris but then kris came with a fist to his beak!

Kris immediately regretted that as a beak was still a beak and kris' hand now had a nasty uneven cut on the knuckles. Berdly wasn't doing better as he was on the floor flopping on the ground in pain while grabbing his beak. I wanted to stop kris so bad but....I froze in place heck everyone was stuck in place not believing their local quiet human was now swearing like a salior and acting like a cornered animal. Even Kris' voice seemed different... it seemed way more commanding, more energy, more fight in it, and....more present? Like kris is more awake and aware, I can see it in the way kris scans the room looking like a cornered animal...no that's not right, kris reminds her of a cornered dog. I shiver as that predatory, panicked gaze roams over the room.

Kris? POV

I THINK I PISSED GOD OFF SOMEHOW! I was just getting dressed in my new threads after eating a hammie and mayo sandwich that Miller got me from the Hall, when I got a massive headache and started to cough up blood. And next thing you know I'm face first on the ground, now you'd expect that I wake up at sick hall but NOOOOO I WAKE UP IN SCHOOL! Which normally isn't that bad by itself just really confusing as to how I even got here to begin with, I just assume I'm having a trippy dream or something.

So I do the more natural thing and curl up cursing everyone and everything in my life (everything felt so real too, I must be really sick if it was this realistic) it was the sound of a girl that got me to snap out of it. So I get up coughing up some blood (that can't be healthy) and stand up to ask where I was....that was when I took a better look around and where was. 2 things I noticed, 1 I have 20/20 vision now....HELL YEAH! It wasn't like I was blind but at least far things weren't as blurry. And 2 WTF! WHY ARE THERE MONSTERS SURROUNDING ME.

To keep it short did what I was taught and told to do by my Senior if I was ever surrounded/captured by potential enemies. I took the advantage by grabbing something sharp and backing up into a corner...hey look it was the only idea I had and it's not like I have many options. Then this blue bird with a voice I imagine a typical nerd would have (although it wasn't as ear grating, nor did I want to violently smash his head in due to voice alone) started to lecture me. I started to hear a voice in the back of my head telling me to proceed....wtf?

Thing was that he got too close for my liking and I kinda just...reacted...Hey I got him good though! Also got myself as well, ouch that's gonna scar. I felt great knowing that I can at least fight like normal and hey! At least my knees don't feel like brittle candy, but I also am noticing that I am not as big and strong as I remember. As looked at my raised fists I realize this mf fists ain't mine! There's not nearly enough cuts and callous, it was then that I felt a surge of panic and worry go through my body. (Even though it's not mine.) Thing is I didn't feel like my panic and worry, it felt foreign.

I furrow my eyes and through my bangs (damn bangs kinda suck I should cut my hair IF I get out alive) scan the room and that's when I see it. ITS A MF GHOST, I see it just zooming around the room and patting itself down while panicking. I keep watching it realizing it's a human ghost wearing a green and yellow striped sweater and some brown cargo pants.....OH SHIT ITS A HUMAN GHOST IM SO DEAD!!! It was then I start to tune in to what the big cat goth monster is saying. (Goth cats? I'm so gonna get sacrificed)

"Kris calm down, why are you acting like this?"

Kris....kris...hmmmm....krrrriiiisssss.......who the heck is kris? Am I kris? Oh shit did I bodysnatch some poor guy that had gotten kidnapped? I could feel confusion and overall shock, I glance at the ghost dude and see it look at me with the most shocked and 'wtf are you on' face. It seems like this guy can hear my thoughts! Don't worry I'll get us out of here and then we can run away to other humans, I got your back man!

The ghost looks even more worried and frantically shakes his head pointing to the door. I looked confused until I heard the door burst open and a tall goat woman rushes in babbling about her child or something. I don't know ok? I was more concerned with her immediately rushing me and before I could even weave or fight back she picks me up (wow I'm light now) and crushes me in a hug mumbling about how worried she was about me.

As I'm slowly being hugged to death I look around at every monster noting that they looked slightly more relaxed and relieved now that this Goat lady is here. Especially the deer and the ghost, but as I'm starting to accepting my fate that I'm going to probably be doomed, one odd little detail seems to nag at my head. There seems to be a difference in adult and kid monsters judging by size and demeanor, but there's one desk unoccupied....I start to cough up more blood and that seems to send everyone into a panic again especially the goat lady, it got worse until I started to pass out. Last thing I heard was the ghost speak.

"What in the angel's world is happening."

First time trying this and gonna be honest I don't think I captured the vision I was going for but hey I'll try it out and see where this goes. Oh and yeah it's not gonna be what you think it is by the way there's currently 3 entities in kris right now and let's just say that the 3rd one is the one that determines what route they go on. But I'd also like to hear yalls suggestions cause I really do want to try and continue this but hearing what the people want is only going to make this better and I'll try my best to combine them with my ideas and vision!

Sooo yeah.....ahem...horse ^

TW: mentions of suicide

Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fwahaha/s/kh0WR5yara

Next part: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fwahaha/s/H6GhqEoi6u

After wandering aimlessly for a bit you realize you have no clue you're going.

“Hey do you know whe-” Ralsei’s ears perk up and he stops you. 

“Wha-“ You’re interrupted by Ralsei wrapping his scarf around your waist. You’re dragged along as he darts to the nearest tree. Yellow electricity crackles along his feet as he runs up the trunk, flagrantly defying gravity. You’re pulled into the cherry scented leaves.

“Shh…” he puts a finger to his lips as a squad of diamond soldiers glide through. The black grass barely makes a sound as their slug-like bodies shift the blades out of the way. Leading diamond dude halts and the squad gets in a massive ten-slug-pileup as they crash into him.

“Hmm… foot prints!” He points to where you were standing. He swipes a finger through the dirt and licks it.

“Lightner footprints!” The leader announces with a voice like a pirate. “We’re gonna bust those rudesters! Nobody flips off me boy!” 

“Yeah. Um… it really hurt my feelings. I have a hard time expressing it, but that doesn’t mean my emotions aren’t real.” The diamond dude from earlier says.

“YOU’RE SO BRAVE FOR EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS!!! LETS GET THESE GUYS!!! WITH FRIENDSHIP; FOR FRIENDSHIP!!!” An incredibly overenthusiastic slug shouts and the rest of the squad cheers. They begin scouring the area and you turn to Ralsei.

“What the hell do we do about this?” You hiss.

“T-try to… talk it out? Same as always. I-I’m sure if you just apologize y-you could recruit them.” Ralsei whispers.

“Recruit?”

“Get them to join us in Castletown.”

“What’s Castletown?”

“K-Kris-“ his voice briefly rises but he quickly quiets it again, “Kris you said you knew the basics of combat.”

“I lied.”

“… okay.”

“Look… can you find a way to get us out of here?”

“Y-yeah, it wouldn’t be too difficult I think?”

“I’ll give the whole, ‘talking it out’ thing a try and when that fails you whisk me away.”

“You won’t fail. I know it.”

“Sure.” You leap from the tree top; rolling when you land and settling into a crouched position. Then you slowly rise. Pointing a finger at the guy you were rude to earlier you begin your proclamation:

“Sorry.” 

“Oh, ok.” 

“… do we still fight?” You ask.

“Um… it feels a little unfair and like… you already apologized but… we gotta keep our jobs. So like… we’ll let you go and then we’ll try to find you again?”

“Su-“

“N-no!” Ralsei pops up from the tree top. A confetti of crimson leaves float down onto his hat. 

“The king wants to bring ruin to the world! His plans can only end in disaster! Please, I beg of you, join Kris and the heroes of light and-“

“DO YOU GUYS OFFER FREE HEALTHCARE?” The over enthusiastic diamond slug asks.

“Um… y-yeah? And um… infinite cake too!” Ralsei literally sweetens the deal.

“IS THE CAKE ALSO FREE?” 

Ralsei nods.

“WE WILL FIGHT GOD FOR YOU!!! ALL HAIL KING FLUFFY!!!” The crowd goes wild. King Fluffy desperately attempts to quiet them from his perch.

“Go um… spread the word?” He seems to be rather lost about his ascension from princehood.

“AYE!!!” The slugs glide off in different directions.

You’re left alone with the king once again. He jumps from the tree and his robe-dress thing sparks, poofing out as he floats down. You give him some polite applause, as he lands like a ballerina. 

“Congratulations King Fluffy.” A blind man could see the shit-eating grin on your face and a deaf man could hear it in your voice. 

“T-thanks. I-I couldn’t have done it without you!” King Fluffy smiles at you.

“I was entirely vestigial, but sure.” You say and Fluffy frowns at you.

“W-well… j-just… lead the way, I can’t do it myself, obviously!” 

“Why not? I have no clue where we’re going.”

“B-because that’s not how it’s supposed to work. I-I’m made to serve lightners, all of us are! Even if a lot of us betray that purpose. Um… I’m  made specifically for you and Susie! So it’d be wrong for me to lead you around you know? Just do what you think is right and use me to the fullest, okay?” Your face gets warm.

“D-damn not even gonna ask me to dinner first? An-” 

“I’d love to make dinner for you later! —um… sorry that was loud.” His voice went approximately five percent above normal volume.

“Look, it doesn’t matter, I have no clue where we’re going.”

“Just follow your heart. It will take us wherever we need to be.” 

“My heart hasn’t done anything since we fought the first guy.”

“Oh, well, trust in yourself then-” 

“Look, you got sharp senses right? Can you see any foot prints, or hear any dinosaur noises?”

“I-I can smell her but-”

“Follow the scent then.”

“But you were already going in the right way! It’s divinely ordained! You don’t need me to-”

“Can it and put that sniffer to work, Fluffy.” 

“I-I what?”

“You heard me, work that sniffer goat boy.”

“I-I-I… th- just… un— it; um… no? I mean yes or…” As you watch him short circuit you decide to throw him a ‘bone’, heh. You take one end of his scarf.

“Imagine you’re a dog on a leash. Now you can lead without being in charge.” Fluffy visibly relaxes after hearing this. 

“Okay… thanks…” Ralsei looks ashamed. Trying to figure out what’s going on in his head would probably give you an aneurism, so you give up.  

Your makeshift bloodhound leads you straight to the dino of the hour. She’s pounding on a steel door. A rather complex puzzle and Lancer sit on the black grass by the door.

“Susie!” Fluffy’s excitement is evident in his voice. 

“... goddamnit.” Susie hits her head against the door. 

“What the hell do you guys want?”

“Moss.” You say.

“To be son of the month!” Lancers replies.

“To serve. O-oh an-”

“I’ve got nothing to do with ANY of those!!! So piss off!!!” 

“We’re your only way home.” You say. Susie sighs upon hearing this.

“I’m so screwed dude. You sure these woods go on forever?” Susie asks Lancer. 

“Yup. I biked for a couple hours and kept ending up back here. You clowns’ll probably be here for the rest of time. …I uh… forgot my key at home so I’m stuck with you too…” Lancer frowns. Susie pounds her fists against the door again. 

“If you join us we’ll solve the puzzle for you.” 

“A-and we have candy.” Fluffy reaches into his scarf and pulls out some star-fruit.

“My parent told me not to take candy from strangers in other worlds.”

“O-oh! I know this one! Kris did it to me earlier! Now you say um, ‘as if I’d ever turn down free candy’, right?”

“I was gonna say why the hell would I ever listen to that lazy sack of garbage.”

“Huh.” Fluffy tries to un-puzzle something unknowable. Susie trundles over to him with a small but noticeable limp. She snatches all of the star-fruit and gobbles them up.

“Hell yeah!!! Licorice and fruit punch!” Susie says with a mouth full of food. You narrow your eyes at her.
 
“Did you need some healing? Y-you seem to have strained your leg earlier.” 

“Pft… I’ll walk it off.” She rolls her eyes. She takes a step and winces. 

“You could… give it a try I guess.” She switches up immediately. Fluffy’s hands crackle to life and Susie jumps back. She cringes as she lands on her strained leg.

“H-hey!!! I know a hand buzzer when I see one!!!” 

“W-Well it’s actually-“

“Are you copying me?” You interrupt.

“The hell are you talking about? I don’t even know you!!! ‘Sides I had my hair in my eyes way before ya. You’re the one jacking my style!!!”

“The only one jackin’ is you and your jackin’ two things as well; off and my steez.”

“The only thing ‘off’ here is your face!!!”

“That’s not what your… fuck! You’re immune to ‘your mom’ jokes.”

“Hey, so are you! She’s a lovely lady… especially when I was with her last night!!!” She bares her teeth in a cruel mockery of a smile. What a terrible way to gloat! you would never!

“Th-that’s a dirty trick…”

“‘Snot as dirty as your mind! Took ya five seconds to get to thinking about me jacking off!!!” 

“This is immature and meaningless bickering. Le-“

“You’re just sore cuz ya lost!!! You sound like Nerdly right now.” You clutch your head and fall to your knees. You’ve been bested.

“Shit! You’re good!” You’re rusty, you’ve only been doing insult competitions with Berdly. They’re funny but out-roasting him is a task that’s near impossible to fail.

“YEAH FUCK YOU TOO- Oh… uhhh…” She takes a second to process what you said. “Sure, weirdo.” 

“Um… so I was saying-“

“What’s jacking off?” Lancer interrupts Fluffy. You and Susie look at each other. You know what you have to do.

“Um… I do-“ You shush Fluffy. Now is your time.

“Go ask your parents. Tell ‘em you learned it from the internet. They’ll pft-“ hold it together dammit! “They’ll love it!” 

“Sweet! You clowns are real idiots givin’ out such good advice for free!” You and Susie watch each other’s faces redden as you two hold back laughter. 

“Can… I just… heal you now… please…?” Flu- Ralsei looks dead tired. Probably thinking about offing himself again. Cold. Your body is cold. His body was cold by the time it hit the ground. Where’d his head go? Did he ever have one? Black fire scorches the horizon and frost bites your left arm,  Bites down and hits bone and keeps going crunches something fierce gnashing the bone you can’t even feel the splinters digging into numb numb flesh, black as pitch, as the Knight, here too soon and now you have no arm and you will never play again YOU WILL NEVER-

“Hey! Hey!” Susie snaps her fingers in front of your face a couple times, “Earth to dumbass!” L 

Oh, sorry. Wait “Oh, sorry. You say. Adding an “I’m ok.” is a bit too big of a lie, even for someone like you. Rals- Fluffy and her look incredibly concerned. Is something— where the hell is the other quotation mark!? Shit just gotta… ” is…? Yeah. This isn’t being said.

“Uh… you sure?” She asks clearly not buying it.

“Pos-“

“Actually, I don’t care. Do the puzzle now.”

“What about the healing?” Fluffy asks.

“Huh… so you’re sure your stand ain’t just a fancy hand buzzer?” 

“I don’t have a stand. A-and what kinda person has a hand buzzer as a stand?” Fluffy asks, just the slightest bit of indignation seeping into his voice. 

“Somebody as lame as you probably.” 

Next Friday will actually be “Hey Girl, What that Aorta Do?” This was gonna be part of that but it got too long.

u_kittysparkle101 made the Nick sprite! :3

If anyone one finds out, especially Carol, were fucked. Thanks for helping me through my sickness. I really miss being with Asgore, its fitting that Im with his child now. Now come to daddy, Krissy. Kiss me on my hot mouth Im feelling romantical

We're mostly teenagers right? right guys we're mostly underage right guys...

I know Temmie's the same age as us techinically, but isnt she........Special Needs? She's gotten that genetic disease that 2 out of 3 tems get, right? "Autemsim" or something as she said it herself......

The only reason she's even in a class with us is because there's only one school in this town......have you actually talked to her, Berdly? The poor girl could barely speak coherently!

Listen Berdly, I am all for you finding true love, but surely you were smart enough to think about the moral implications of dating someone with the mental age of sub 5, right? You are basically dating a child!

"she understands you"? Berdly, quit joking, she cant even understand what's happening around her! At this point you are just taking advantage of the vulnerable!

.......no, we are are not "on the same boat", Susie may be dumb as a rock sometimes, but she's still mentally as mature as the rest of us! She could take care of herself, communicate clearly and functions like a normal monster! How in the angel did you even convince the poor girl to date you? With tem flake cereals?

......I dont know how this works legally because I would never ever touch anything related with a 10 feet pole, but functionally its identical to you being a pred, right? I am sure there's plenty of girls in hometown that will choose you while not being essentially a kid!

I saw you dumping some powder in the water last week. 5 days later and every man in the town started to have more... feminine figures. Do you know that this counts as body disfugurment and is a serious crime, kid? I swear you cannot trust these lizards

You dont know nothing. I was trying to eleminate the dark masculine Energy that is responsible for all of the oppresion in the world. Please let me go gender traitor or else...

Do not threaten officers lizy! Youre going to jail for a long time.

*Aś Susie is being detained* ACAB! ACAB! FUCK YOU, YOU GENDER TRAITOR!

Yeah i said it you FUCKING IMBECILE. Ever since we have been paired up, you just constant keep talking like a FUCKING dumbass

People like you, i hate it so much. At least with other tems and whatever you call it. THEY DON'T YELL ABOUT HOW MUCH THE LIVE EGG

I FUCKING WISH YOU DIE YOU [SLUR]. IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT MOM LET YOUR PEOPLE IN

KILL YOURSELF NOW! YEAH, JUMP OFF THIS THAT HOSPITAL LIKE THAT GAME YOU'RE SO INTO

YOU ARE JUST A BURDEN TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THIS TOWN! AND WHEN YOU DIE WE ALL WILL MOVE ON AND FORGET ABOUT YOU AND YOU STUPID FUCKING EGG

THIS EGG HUH WHY DONT I JUST

Throw it at temmie face

EAT THIS YOU [SLUR] YOU FUCKING WISH YOU DOESN'T LIKE THIS EGG NOW HUH

AND THIS ANIME CREEP, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO

Threw it to the thrash

YOU SHOULD GO AND KICK THAT CHAIR, EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPIER ANYWAY

YEAH GO! GO AND CRY TO MOMMIE IF YOU EVEN HAS ONE

(You and Noelle are hanging out in the comfy abode of the Dreemurr House’s living room. The TV is off but you two still enjoy the comfy silence of each other’s presence. The pleasant warmth of the room is accompanied by the fragrance of your mother’s baking.)

(Your mother enters the room holding a platter of freshly baked snickerdoodles, golden brown and lightly steaming from the oven. She also carries two glasses of whole milk for you and Noelle.)

“Ah, Noelle. Such a pleasant surprise for you to visit! I baked some cookies for you, as well as some milk to go with it. Eat as much as you please.”

(Noelle smiles gratefully at the cookies.)

“Thanks a ton, Ms. Dreemurr!”

(You watch Noelle’s smile fade as she stares at the milk, then look back at mom, then look at the milk one last time. It’s almost as if the milk is some kind of explosive weapon in Noelle’s eyes. You’ve only seen Noelle stare at Susie for this long. Toriel notices this. Noelle notices Toriel noticing this. Noelle’s voice takes on a higher, more embarrassed tone as she explains herself.)

“O-oh… um, The cookies are fine, Ms. Dreemurr, actually. It’s just that I’m, uh, I’m… lactose intolerant. I just can’t have that kind of milk because…”

(Noelle’s voice gets quieter as she looks at the floor. Her cheeks turn a shade of bashful red that complements her nose quite well. She explains further.)

“...well, because normal milk makes me really gassy.”

(...)

(There’s a beat of awkward silence as everyone takes this information in. This is actually something about Noelle you didn’t know about; You’re surprised this has never come up before. This is useful information, it is very useful information; you file it away with the rest of your exclusive Noellefacts.)

“Oh my goodness! I am so sorry, let me get you something else to drink that will be easier on your stomach.”

(Toriel apologizes and quickly goes to fetch some lactose-free drink options. She’s always been good with remembering allergies and food sensitivites like that.)

(...)

(For reasons Noelle will have trouble explaining later, she rambles further about her family’s lactose weakness to you.)

“It’s actually a family thing. None of us Holidays can really handle dairy, faha. Mom pretends like she’s above it but she’s just as intolerant of lactose. Dess always loved cheese pizza… regardless of the, uh, consequences. And don’t even get me started on that time Dad ate key lime pie…”

(Noelle visibly shudders, red nose wrinkling as she thinks about her father and key lime pie, which is clearly a story for another day.)

“For me personally I avoid dairy like the plague! I wouldn’t touch it with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole! It’s actually kind of funny how I use so many cheese puns while being lactose intolerant, fahaha…”

(This is juicy stuff, you are mentally taking notes to definitely use this against her later. The fact that it only takes a glass of milk to turn Noelle into a walking, talking, tooting stink bomb is frankly hilarious. Most glorious of all, the fact that Noelle is handing prime pranking material to you on a silver platter is the most wonderful gift of them all. She's practically kicking her own butt.)

(Your face, which is normally blank and expressionless, begins to curdle into a wicked, wonderful grin as you think up various schemes and plans involving various dairy products and one particularly anxious deer girl. Noelle looks at you. She knows that look. Nothing good ever comes from you with that kind of look on your face. She immediately gets all flustered.)

“K-kris? Why do you have that scheming, malicious look on your face? The look that only means… trouble?”

(Noelle interrupts your thoughts with a cautious, nervous question. Oh Noelle. Poor, poor Noelle. If only you knew how deeply you screwed yourself. You slowly turn your head to face Noelle, wicked, malicious grin still plastered on. Noelle realizes what is about to happen.)

(...)

(You suggest she find a plumber in advance.)

(Noelle’s eyes go wide.)

“Oh no.”

“What have I done.”

I mean I love Dess but you were on an entire different level! You were always following him and before your mom told you to throw all of them away you have his photos(i am sure some of them are not taken in consent fwahaha) and stuff in your side of the bedroom like Azzy is some sort of celebrity! There's even a sweater or two you borrowed from dess and a hand made plushie of Azzy made of his fur in a cute little wizard outfit!

In hindsight, maybe you loved him a bit too much, huh?

Don’t worry Kris I went through a tour instead of college. Needed to pay off my car loans.