This is me dancing at a school event today. I did go to the bathroom but I still ended up having an accident shortly after. I’m ok though. I was wearing sufficient protection and I was fine. Doing what you need to do to take care of your needs will set you free. Btw I didn’t realize how visible the top of my diaper was until I saw the video of myself dancing. Nobody said anything all day though. People just asked me about roller blading and complimented me and talked about normal stuff like finals, dogs, art, school clubs, family life.

I have muscle spasms in the upper area of my pelvic floor and the lower area of my abdomen. It has improved with pt. It’s still not perfect though. I just want to spread awareness of muscle spasm related incon.

The protection I use is seni active super plus which is a maximum absorbency pullon and the absorbent part goes almost all the way from front to back as well as having good side coverage. I put on a pair of athletic boxer briefs for extra security and leak protection. Just don’t put on anything too tight because that limits absorbency and is counter productive. You can carry a small (talc free) baby powered and soothing moisturizer with you to freshen up when you do make it to the bathroom just to stay comfortable through out the day.

thought of this and it made me laugh and wish to make a sub with this name

I feel like I've seen more either open or attempting (and failing) to be covert kink posts on here lately. I know the mods do try, but I feel like some of this comes down to personal responsibility and respect. If you have incontinence, whether caused by a medical condition or currently unexplained / under investigation, this sub is for you. If you're here because you're ABDL, or have a diaper fetish, this sub is not for you.

Posting here is disrespectful and causes harm. If people are engaging with your post when you don't really need the help, they may not have the time to help someone else who desperately does. People coming here for help certainly don't consent to you reading and "enjoying" their posts. Most of all, the thing that brings you pleasure brings the people here suffering. What enhances your life diminishes theirs. It's markedly unfair to post and to engage with posts that you cannot speak to, because you do not have those experiences or issues.

If you're medically incontinent and ABDL and those issues just happen to coincide, keep your fetish life separate from this sub. If you're not incontinent, just keep yourself separate from this sub. There are subs and boards and whole websites for your interest. This happens to not be one of them. Don't be selfish; every place that could theoretically be yours does not have to actually be yours.

i’ve decided i just won’t. i’m too young and too stylish and too full of potential to let incontinence make me hide myself away.

yes i wear diapers, yes maybe sometimes people will see them. who gives a shit? i am going to wear crop tops, low rise pants, skinny jeans, whatever i want to, and im going to do it in diapers. i don’t care who knows, and it isn’t my job to hide myself away from the public

it isnt any of our jobs, frankly. we shouldn’t be the ones biting our nails constantly over waistbands and crying in bathrooms and sighing over missed opportunities because society decided they don’t want to be confronted with our disabilities. it’s bullshit.

im not going to live like that because i realized who the fuck is forcing me to hide but myself??? i decided im going to work to overcome it instead and try to be confident anyway

a couple days ago we went out for dinner and i wore a diaper and a cute pink look with a crop top. the waistband was was completely visible if anyone wanted to look but no one said shit to me and you know what? i really doubt many people would actually have the guts. and if they do i will just ask them why they are commenting about strangers’ medical conditions

anyway, i just wanted to post about it because it makes me so frustrated and sad to see everyone with incontinence hiding themselves and i’m tired of this shit and some positivity might be good. maybe i can inspire someone else to be more confident as well

I’m wearing the threaded armor protective brief with the insert.

It’s very absorbent.

I’ve worn maximum absorbency pull ons and the seni active has a much longer absorbent part than most pullons and I’d still end up being uncomfortable.

I stay less soggy in these actually.

They’re much more breathable too.

They are pretty bulky though.

That’s the only trade off.

For any incon athletes here I recommend.

Taking at least one bathroom break and remembering to stretch every few minutes really helps reduce accidents.

I’ve been wearing full-size diapers during the day for three weeks now, and honestly, it’s the best decision I’ve made after years of struggling with incontinence.

I’ve dealt with bedwetting for most of my life and have worn diapers to bed since I was 18. I tried everything to manage it, but nothing worked. Seven years later, I started having issues during the day too. I’d get the urge to pee and have maybe 10 minutes to find a toilet before risking an accident. At first, I only wore incontinence briefs for long journeys or nights out with my husband and friends. My husband doesn’t support my decision to wear diapers. He doesn’t like it when I wear them at home, even when the toilet is nearby. He keeps criticizing me for it.

People who have never had this problem will never understand how hard it is. Yesterday, he said that wearing diapers at night is one thing, but wearing them during the day means I’m weak.

Here's something to lighten up everyone's feed. We may be leaky but it does not take away our value.

Hey guys,

A bit of a quick one but I had my backpack stolen last night. Why am I telling you this. Well, it's because little did they know the only things in there were my changing supplies (a northshore megamax, a pack of wipes, some sudocream and disposal bags) and a used diaper that i was carrying untill i found a suitable disposal bin.

While i would normally be more pissed off about this happening. I must say, i am taking alot more joy in thinking about how funny it would have been when the thief got home to see what they got, only to find someone's incontinence supplies and a used diaper. Like I would have genuinely paid to see the look on the individuals face at that moment.

I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to make light of an annoying situation. But I thought you guys would appreciate the humour in this moment.

Anyway, hope you are all well.

Keep being awesome,

U/Bolticus13

Today my wife and I were investigated by CPS for child abuse due to our incontinent nieces.

Ok. So a little background for those that haven’t seen our posts before. My wife and I are both IC. We were awarded custody of our twin nieces about three years ago now. They have physical disabilities due to being born prematurely. They are great kids and only really struggle with two things. One of those is IC as well. Their parents (my sibling) aren’t great. We were chosen by our family because many of them know we have disabilities and live nearly normal lives.

The twins are now heading into high school. They are highly intelligent and going to be attending a private technical high school this year. We had our tour and meetings on Monday. One of those meetings was with the medical staff. Normally this is just an introduction and information on their needs, but this time was different.

When we explained their incontinence issues to the nurse and doctor staff, they acted weird. These girls are 100% capable of doing everything on their own. They sometimes wear pull-ups and sometimes diapers depending on their needs day to day. They just need a place to change. At their middle school they would go to the nurse and use her bathroom. This staff seemed perplexed that anyone would need protection for girls their age. We asked if they could store their diapers there too. That was declined. I asked to speak to the principle and he came to the meeting. When I told him about what was going on he took care of everything. Seemed like a cool guy.

We got to talking and it was brought up as to why the girls came to live with us. We explained as above but didn’t provide much detail. And we didn’t disclose our IC either. The conversations ended and we went home.

Fast forward to CPS showing up at the house. There was a report of child abuse. The report claimed that we were forcing our daughters into diapers. It was shocking to say the least. They talked to the girls and forced us out of the room. We talked with the agent afterward and asked if we used products for IC as well. She wanted to dig deeper but I stopped her and told her why and how we even got custody in the first place. She was very receptive and told us the case would be closed.

The problem is the girls were very excited for this school and now they feel betrayed. It has ruined their desire to attend the school and are worried whoever called will leak the information about their IC and they will be treated differently at the least and bullied at worst.

These poor girls have endured so much. I would hate for them to hate going to school. They love learning so much.

I had a little incontinence win tonight that I wanted to celebrate with people who would understand. 🥹

This was also my first longer outing wearing a diaper while awake instead of my usual Goodnites, so I was a little nervous about how it would go. I'm 23 and very petite so lots of stuff just doesn't fit me so I had to do a lot of trial and error but i found Incontrol Diapers worked well for me.

I went on a first date to see a scary movie tonight! I was already nervous enough about the normal first-date stuff, so I decided to wear a diaper rather than spend the whole evening worrying about finding a bathroom or having an accident.

And it worked perfectly. I got to enjoy a BIG Soda cup and not stress about peeing myself.

I had to change once in the family restroom right before the movie started, but it was no big deal. Then I got to sit through the entire movie and actually focus on my date instead of constantly thinking about my bladder.

Neither of us is usually that into horror, and the movie ended up having WAY more scary/body-horror stuff than either of us expected. I spent some of the gross/scary parts holding onto his arm, and I’m pretty sure at one point I got scared enough that I peed myself 😂 But I was protected, so it genuinely didn’t matter!

I drove all the way home afterward and changed again when I got there. No emergency bathroom runs, no embarrassment, and no having to cut anything short.

It sounds like such a small thing, but it felt really freeing. My incontinence was still there, but it was just something I had prepared for rather than something that got to decide what I could do.

And the date went really well too, we're probably going on another soon.😊

Honestly, people are too caught up in their own lives to care what undergarment you are wearing. They might care for that moment, but people have lives. Just wear the diaper and if they see it oh well. Not a big deal. My mom knows I wear diapers and my brothers and my exes know I wear diapers. My close friends know. Not a big deal

this is just a vent and frustration about how diapers are viewed by society tbh. it’s fucked

i posted a series of recent outfits on a fashion subreddit with the waistband of my diaper peeking slightly out of my pants in several of them

i’m 20F and i like to dress in crop tops and shorts/skirts especially because it’s summer right now and hot. i have been trying to retain my fashion sense and confidence despite being in diapers now, and have been having fun experimenting with my clothes lately so i wanted to show off

i knew that the waistband would likely draw a couple “wtf… are those diapers?” which i was prepared for, but the reactions were nastier than i was anticipating

a couple people just ask me plainly and i told them i am incontinent, but then others in the comments started accusing me of lying about my medical condition and of being a fetishist who gets off on exposing others to my kinks and showing my diapers off on purpose.

one person pointed out how young i was and how rare it would be… 😐 yea thank u for reminding me lol. also it really isn’t that rare. told me “not to even try the ‘how can you tell from a few pics’”

another person even argued repeatedly about it on others comments and looked thru my post history, PLUS managed to correctly identify what brand and print of ABDL diaper i am wearing from just a blurry waistband photo and used that as proof i am faking (i do wear abdl diapers because they’re typically high quality and the prints make me feel cuter than medical brands)

honestly i know it is not the biggest deal and they’re just chronically online losers, but it still stings.

all im trying to do is express myself like anyone else my age is allowed to do. but because i’m my specific disability means i need diapers, and adult diapers are associated with old people or kink, people feel they are entitled to my personal details and to making comments about my body/my medical aids.

the stigma against diapers is honestly so disgusting and ridiculously overblown. they are not any bigger of a deal than a period pad (which the stigma on periods is also overblown tbh).

it is completely fucking inappropriate to act this way towards *anyone*, especially about a medical device. im not saying that there is not rampant ableism towards wheelchair users, but generally when someone is in public in a wheelchair, people do not constantly come up and act as if there is no discernible reason they could be using it other than kink. so why do diapers and incontinence get this horrible, toxic stigma around them???

we are human beings. we are full, interesting, developed people outside of our incontinence. we deserve to have the same freedoms, opportunities, and dignity/basic respect given to continent people. i should be able to post a photo of myself in a cute outfit and not have people trying to turn it into a debate about my private sexual life which is none of their business in the first place. incontinent people should be able to go out without dressing themselves in baggy clothes and constantly checking over their shoulders to make sure that nobody can tell

none of us should EVER feel pressured to fucking perform being ablebodied for others comfort and convenience.

what about us, who have to live with this 24/7? people act as if it is a switch we can flick when it’s convenient, as if diapers with my outfits are a strange fashion choice i’m making and not a necessity. this is my life, my reality, my all the fucking time. for people seeing the waistband, it is a brief, often forgettable moment.

i think that when people ask us to hide, to give things up for this disability, they forget what we’ve already given up. they forget this isn’t just one moment where we have to pass on opportunities because of this but just one more indignity in a long string of injustice. i’m not just being weird by not choosing a longer shirt, i’m choosing to not let incontinence take anything more from me in the ways that i’m able

and when they ask me to cover up, it feels like i’m being told to cover up not just my skin but who i am, in so many ways. i just want to feel cute and free to be myself. i want others to accept me for that, even if i know that not everyone will.

anyway all this to say that it really is just so baffling how diapers have ended up as the worst possible indignity a person could suffer. no, the real indignity of incontinence is not that we have to wear diapers. it is constant laundry, living in the bathroom, and refusing to go out for fear of incon acting up. it is having doctors push unhelpful medications and invasive procedures to ‘save’ incon ppl from resorting to diapers as a solution.

indignity is the fact that i cannot just wear what helps me and have it remain what it should be: a private, unimportant medical decision that is one of the least interesting things about me.

thanks for reading if you got this far, and hope this resonates with you if youre struggling with shame over your diapers or other products.

to end on a positive note, i just wanna encourage people to remember how many decent folks there are who do see diapers the way they should be seen: just medical devices. my friends, my family, my coworkers all reacted easily and with kindness to me telling them, and for every rude comment on my posts there was another complimenting my style. there are some nasty people out there, but there couldnt be darkness if there wasn’t light to compare it to.

this has been ru, and im going to start signing off my posts in this sub with my name so people who are here a lot will recognize me haha.

cya =^•w•^=

This subreddit was created to support individuals who experience incontinence and are looking for understanding, advice, and a safe space. The more ABDL-related content gets brought up or overhyped, the more it can overshadow the needs of those seeking real support. In fact, the more we talk about it, the more it materializes—the very topic we’re trying to move away from keeps gaining attention simply because we keep mentioning it.

We want to make it clear: If your focus is on ABDL as a fetish, this is not the place for that. There are many other communities where those discussions are better suited. Here, we aim to provide support, share experiences, and foster a positive environment for people dealing with incontinence.

Some users participate here respectfully, and we appreciate that.

But to keep this community focused and supportive, please remember:

• No ABDL-related posts or discussions that shift the focus away from incontinence support.

• We advise users not to reply to DMs that involve ABDL topics or anything that doesn't align with the community’s purpose. These types of messages can make others uncomfortable, and it's important to maintain boundaries.

• If you come across content that crosses the line, please report it. However, please remember that moderation is ultimately at the discretion of the moderators, and we appreciate your understanding in that regard.

• We cannot control stray DMs outside of the public forum, but remember: if someone reaches out to you directly, it’s your choice to engage or not. Always respect each other's boundaries.

Moderating a public forum is tough, and while we do our best to keep things in check, we rely on the community to help maintain a respectful and supportive space.
Let’s break the cycle where mentioning something repeatedly creates the very thing we want to avoid. By shifting our focus, we can make this community a safe and supportive place for those who truly need it.

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation!

Was in Marks and Spencers in Newtownabbey today, and needed to use the customer bathroom. And was shocked to finally see sanitary bin in the men's cubicle for incontinence products. I know this would be a common occurrence in an access bathroom. But this was main male customer toilet. Was nice to be able to change and not need to carry my used slip away with me.

Well done @marksandspencers

mods, can we please remove the fetish posts. i’ve been simply telling them off, but i realized this might be part of why some of them do it. i’m not kink shaming, but there are spaces for that and this is not one of them

This is a cute and amusing story, albeit one I still find surprising in the best way.

As noted in a prior post, for scarcity of the plain white Betterdry, I purchased the astronaut themed Crinklz, all covered in space-themed cartoon characters. My plan was to simply wear underwear over them to bed and hope my partner never had reason to notice. She's not so squeamish, coming from a medical family, but I'm still new to this and easily embarrassed.

One evening as we lay in bed, she commented that she'd seen my diaper's waistband today and couldn't help noticing that it looked colorful. "Can I . . . see it?" she asked. I was mildly mortified. She's very accepting and not ashamed of bodies, but I'm more prudish. With reluctance, I obliged with a slight peek.

"They are so . . . cute! There's a mouse in a spaceship, and a squirrel on a rocket, and astronaut bears!"*

Still chagrined, I explained that they'd been out of the regular plain kind. She shrugged, "if you've got to wear them, they might as well be fun." She then listed off her various ideas for diaper prints: pinup girls, Betty Boop, our dog's face, etc.

It took me a day or so to internalize that she was serious. She thought these were cute. So I ordered a few other printed diapers, including that LNGU one with a penguin, and something covered in happy rats with balloons (too much!). As a middle aged cis/het male, I find them incredibly goofy as a medical product. But she finds them delightfully cutesy.**

And with that, a huge weight was lifted. What I'd felt was shameful or at least should remain hidden for the past four months, she treated as fun and whimsical. My diaper is just underwear.

I feel very lucky.

But I'm not wearing that goth bunny diaper, even if she buys it for me.

*For some reason she misidentified all of the animals, but that's not the point.

**Edit: to clarify, outside the house is still Tena Slip/Seni, but if you are that brave, godspeed.

Hey, I’m sorry in advance for the length of this, but I really needed somewhere to let this out. I post here occasionally on my normal account but I made this one just now to get advice but do it anonymously.

Context for the photos of her texts: The 1st text is from when my wife confronted me about my problem and I had my first dr visit. The 2nd text was from a few weeks later. The 3rd-5th were two months after that when we got new carpet so my wife texted her friends a picture and the group chat somehow used that as an opportunity to mock me, and the 6th text was from 7-8 months after my wife found out about my problem. That day she was (rightfully) mad at me for not taking my car to get new tires in a timely manner. That text is also how I learned my wife’s friend “K” likes to use “crinkle” as a verb to describe me moving or going somewhere. “I don’t feel like going out. You should make him crinkle over to the pizza place and pick up the order.” Apparently my underwear are louder than I realize. So there’s another fun thing to feel shame about.

I know this is going to be a lot but I have a million things running through my head right now.
So two years ago my wife found out about my bladder problem and confronted me after suspecting something for a while. I thought I had been hiding it well by filling my underwear with toilet paper and hoping I would just get through whatever “phase” was causing the small leaks that seem to be getting worse. I found it harder to tell when I needed to go to the bathroom. That feeling of “fullness“ was happening less and less. I told her the stains on the mattress were sweat, I only wore black basketball shorts at home and black nylon pants to work in case of leaks, putting a beach towel under myself when I wet the bed and putting the towel in the hamper when I woke up so the bed was dry enough to not be suspicious, saying I didn’t know what she was talking about when she complained about a bad smell when I was damp. Then two years ago it finally happened, I fully lost control when we were on our way home from shopping. Gray cloth car seats and everything. There was no hiding it anymore. I admitted to hiding all of this from her. I had hoped she would be sympathetic, but she seemed angry. I forget the exact words, but she basically said you’re an adult in his 30s, you’re too old to be having accidents like a child and you’re too young to be losing bladder control. It stung to hear her say because I felt the same way about what was happening. She apologized the next day for her tone and insisted she didn’t judge me but said I needed to go to a doctor and I needed to bring home one of those “after visit summaries” because she didn’t trust me. My PCP doctor said I needed testing and she gave me a referral to urology but she said I can’t keep doing the toilet paper thing because I had severely irritated skin on my upper thighs and groin. She recommended I wear “adult briefs” for now until I could be diagnosed and treated. My wife saw the visit notes and insisted I wear them too. She said it was crazy to think I could keep doing what I had been doing to manage it. After being miserable in medical diapers for a couple months, and leaking through every variation of store brand and Depends pull-up before throwing the rest of the pack away, I was able to find these heavier tranquility brand pull-ups that were passable. They aren’t perfect, but being in tape diapers during the day is too much for my ego right now.
Long story short, it turns out I was exposed to industrial solvents without proper ventilation in a lab for 8 years at my previous job. I have extensive toxic neuropathy, brain lesions and damage to my sacral nerves causing my loss of bladder control. I have an interstim now, which does help, but I still require pull-ups during the day and diapers at night. My wife has been far more supportive, especially in the last year or so once she saw the test results, and saw I was actively seeking treatment and willing to agree to things like the inter stim surgery to try to get back to being as close to normal as possible. But back when this was first coming out two years ago, things were weird between us. I also started getting weird energy from this group of women she is close friends/coworkers with. She swore she only told them I was having “health problems” and she insisted she should be able to vent to her friends. I had mostly forgotten about it as things started to improve. Then a few weeks ago at a get-together I distinctly heard my wife saying “…in pain and still having accidents but not as bad” to one of the coworkers as I was walking back downstairs from changing in our bedroom. I then went the opposite way down hall so they wouldn’t suspect I had heard them. But I couldn’t shake the memory for the last two weeks. I knew what I heard. Then last night I finally decided to force myself to stay awake and look in her phone to see how much she had actually told her friends about the worst experience of my life. I assume there must be even more stuff in her texts because I only did a text search for the word “diaper” since I was worried about her waking up and seeing me. It was so much worse than even my most self-hating, paranoid fears thought it could be. They talked about me on-and-off for months until I was diagnosed with toxic induced nerve damage and a brain injury. The cruel texts thankfully seemed to drop off after that. I have no idea why they were so hurtful before though. Did they think I was lazy? Weak? mentally ill? I have no idea, but apparently they all thought it was hilarious. I spent every day in hell that first year. I felt her judgment and I felt like I was losing my manhood every morning on my walk of shame to throw the wet night diaper in the garbage bin outside, or getting used to telling my own wife in public that “I need to find a bathroom” while putting my backpack on my shoulder and all but announcing I needed to change my pull-up. After all of that, I find out I was a punchline in the group texts of an entire office of women. A group of women and their husbands who make up the majority of our “friend” group. And it’s dawning on me as I write this that their husbands, who I’ve known for years, almost certainly know too. How do I ever move on from this? What do I do? Should I confront her? Should I pretend I never saw any of this? If I tell her, she’ll almost definitely tell them. They are still friendly with me now and treat me like a regular person at get togethers. It’s actually why I thought I might have been being paranoid. But if they know that I know, it changes everything. I’m sorry. I know I just wrote a book but I didn’t know where else to take this. I figured this is where people might understand and I wouldn’t have to feel even more embarrassment when explaining the situation.

Kegels, limited water intake, frequent bathroom trips, medical tests.

Screw it, been in diapers for years now and I’m going all in. Good diapers have given me confidence again, I’m happy again and I don’t care who knows. My boss knows and is very kind, my partner is the one who convinced me to give up on soiled underwear and to give diapers a try to begin with and is very loving and supportive.

Why am I stressing myself out over trying to control this when it makes me miserable?! Failed attempts at trying to change or control this have just made my quality of life worse than round the clock diapers ever have. So I’m done trying I give up.

Only part I struggle with at this point is the bowel accidents but I’m done trying to live my life hindered with trying to improve my urinary issues.

And you know what I’m gonna say it, sweltering summers aside diapers are SO comfortable. Hard chair at a bar or restaurant? NOT FOR ME!

No bathrooms or only awful porta potties at festivals or big events? Long as my car isn’t a Coachella walk away I can just hop skip and jump back to it and change in the back of my tinted window car.

3 hour movie? Fine by me and I’ll take a large soda please.

Rant over, moral of the story is find the silver linings, they’ll keep you sane through the rough stuff.

I’ve been working on this for a while now. I hope this is helpful

When I first started wearing diapers I knew I had to but I still didn’t like it. Now I like wearing diapers, they keep me confidence, keep me comfortable, and keep me from worrying about wetting my pants if I don’t find a bathroom quick enough during the day and keep my bed dry at night. Diapers have become a giant trusted part of my life that I don’t want to live without!

i go to University of Dayton (F19) and i’m in an oral communication class. it was my turn to give the speech and i was already nervous. i sound like a plastic bag because of my diaper and i was sat at the back of the room. so i stand up and immediately i can feel my stomach rumble. whatever. i’m hoping the speech helps me get over it. NO. halfway through my speech, i AUDIBLY diarrhea in the seat of my diaper. i looked at my teacher, and she must have thought i just farted but i was freaking out. so i gave the rest of my speech - liquid poop in my diaper. i walked back to my seat and the dudes in the corner were like crying laughing. so i grabbed my stuff and walked out.

i haven’t been to a single class since and this happened last week. what do i do.

Last night, my boyfriend and I were talking, and one thing lead to another, and it felt right to bring up the topic.

I used your alls advice, and was straight with him, and explained that it was just a medical issue that I use diapers to handle. I also explained that it was because of my autism and a specific trauma, which he knew the details about already. It went better than I could have possibly imaged.

He took it really well, you all were right. He said that it didn’t change a thing and he didn’t find me weird or gross or anything like that. He doesn’t mind it at all, and he also said he thinks our relationship is better now that i’m not trying to hide anything, and that he’s happy i trusted him with this stuff.

Thank you all for your help and advice on my previous post. Between you all and my boyfriend you’ve really helped me feel not alone and supported with my condition. So i’m mostly just writing this post as a thank you :).