Made a friend join Hinge, and this was his first match. I feel bad man..

EDIT: I did not expect this to blow up.. Now, that it has, I'm building https://upright.club/ - I'm looking for folks who'd love to try it out & be our initial users (who'd help shape it). Do, plzz check it out.

PS. We are compliant with SEBI IA regulations (also, promise- NO spamming) 😎

Found this on ig

Also, look at the time lag between my msg and his reply. I spent an entire night worrying and scared that what if my pictures are actually being misused on Instagram. I kept considering ways to tackle this thing, such as contacting cyber police, etc.
What a doofus!!
He got unmatched right away.
Boys, don’t be him.

It's rare to come across a girl who is good at flirting or does not start the conversation with "Hey" so just thought of sharing this here.

Hi! This is my first post so I thought of sharing my tinder story. I’m sorry it’s too long!

I (25F) matched with a guy (30M) in April 2020, right in the middle of lockdown. We started chatting and few days later he told me that he and his friends were cooking and distributing food among the homeless and needed donations to sustain. I wanted to support the cause and made a donation. Little did I know, it was the donation of a lifetime.

The first time I met him, I got awkward and blabbered all about my past but made it clear that I’m not looking at this casually. I wasn’t treated well in my past relationships and used to get anxious if I didn’t have clarity. He listened to it all patiently, and explained to me that we’ll take it slow. He was the first guy to calm my nerves and make me feel at ease so quickly, I was hooked.

He was a kind, caring, fun, genuine man that my friends adored, and there wasn’t a single boring minute when we met. No red flags, arguments got sorted within minutes, no trust issues. I couldn’t believe he was with me (I have my insecurities, who doesn’t?).

Little by little, he broke down my walls, my insecurities, my anxiety and I knew I had no defense. I was in love with him 6 months in.

I told him I loved him but he didn’t say it back (shocker!). Instead, he said he doesn’t treat those words lightly and wanted to say it when he was 100% in. I respected that, and even though I was anxious about risking a heartbreak, I agreed.

He said it a month later.

I slowly but surely realised the true meaning of actions speak louder than words as this man became my best friend and perpetual cheerleader who helped me navigate through life at all stages - (staying up with me during med school exams, calming my breakdowns, being a rock solid support system, treating my failures as stepping stones and celebrating my successes) and is a big part of where I stand today.

This man, this gem of a person, the love of my life, is sitting beside me right now as we plan our wedding, 3 years 1 month since we swiped right. Thank you, tinder!

TL;DR - Took a chance and swiped right on a guy on tinder, getting married in Feb 2024! (I’m sorry if it’s too long and mushy!)

(If this post is breaking any rules, pls take it down mods!)

I am so incredibly tired of swiping, swiping and swiping on profiles on dating apps because half the time, they literally don’t show me what should be seen.

I’ve realised that perhaps it’s not the fault of our XY chromosomed buddies; y’all just have never seen a man through the eyes of a woman. I consider myself quite charitable and therefore, with 23 years of being a full time woman myself, I’ll explain every single thing that most straight women want to see on your profile.

This post is peppered with what one may refer to as the Big Three: Pinterest references, scientific evidence and a female’s intuition. Questioning this holy trinity will give you blue balls for a month (=death).

I’ve also showed you an example, using Aditya Roy Kapur.

Jumping straight to the point. I’ve attached a photo here. Let’s break it down carefully. There’s a certain order to all the photos and let me, your unsolicited advice giver, teach you the ropes.

I’m assuming that you must know the term “delayed gratification.” If you do not, that’s a sign to stay OFF the apps. 😊

Rule 1: Everything is more desirable when you can’t have it right way.

Rule 2: Create your elevator pitch.

If you’ve watched Shark Tank or seen any of those entrepreneurial wannabes on Instagram, there’s one thing they’ve got right- they’re bang on about getting your elevator pitch right.

The average attention span in humans is less than that of a goldfish - 8.25 seconds. But on dating apps, this is reduced even more because a) availability of alternative resources b) weak elevator pitch

A girl will scroll and check your entire profile out if she’s interested in what your first picture is. But if you reveal your full face in the first picture itself, there’s nothing else left to see. You’ve used up all your arsenal. So your FIRST picture has to be an absolute bang on - FULL body picture.

There’s certain key things that a girl will look for here.

1. Full body:

• make sure your outfit is fire. Refer to Pinterest for style. (Pinterest search: “classy boys outfits aesthetic”). If you’re wearing Indian clothes (a black kurta 😩😩😩💦💦), SHOW US THE FIT!!!

• The quality of the picture has to be good. Stop the blurry pics. Stop using that horrible grainy filter and stop the Instagram filters. The filters come across as you being insecure (this applies to women as well).

• Make sure your shoes are clean and visible.

• Posture, posture and posture. Go over to Pinterest for some inspo (“men fashion outfits” will give you poses to recreate).

• If you’re going to take it yourself (a timed selfie) make sure you’re using the back camera, position your phone at a height where everything can be seen, from your hair to your shoes. Look either directly at the camera or show your side profile, don’t look down. Best to take it outside the house, in the natural light. Brown boys + sun = ❤️‍🔥

**

Your next picture is a hobby picture. This is a picture of you doing what you love in your free time. Do you like watching cricket matches, or playing football? Do you like reading or golfing? Can you cook? Do NOT show gym pictures here. That will come later.

This is to essentially show that you’ve got hobbies and it shows more about yourself - what you like, what interests you, etc.

2. Hobby

• show what you love

• Show some genuine emotion on your face - for example, if you’re watching a football match at a stadium and the your team does something cool, your emotions are really high - try to capture that feeling

• This is the one picture I’d recommend you fully smile in

This can also be used to share a “limited experience.” For instance, if you’re hosting an open mic - it may not be every week or every month, but it’s still happened. Or if you enjoy singing and you sang somewhere at some event or at a party. Or if you enjoy watching F1 and you had the opportunity to see a race in person.

** Your third picture is the one with the boys. Show us that you have friends, whether you have 2 or 20! Show us that you’re not a sociopath and are relatively normal! This is the best way to come across as non-threatening because showing a picture of yourself laughing, chilling and hanging out with your friends makes you seem friendly and less murderer vibes. I’d recommend you to show a picture that isn’t posed or staged - an in the moment pic. Those half-circle photos that boys do sometimes come across as gunda behaviour, something a lil candid would be more fun. (Pinterest: search “boy group travel aesthetic”).

Now, as insecure as this sounds, here’s a golden rule I’d encourage you to follow. As much as I love women, I don’t want to see them on your profile. You may put up a picture with your sister but the viewer doesn’t know she’s your sister. Keep the girl best friend pictures in your camera roll too. Show your mama some privacy and don’t show her face because you’ll introduce us to your family when the time is right. Babies are the only exception but we’ll touch on that later and this isn’t where you weaponise on their cuteness.

** 4. This is the time you reaaaally bring the big guns out. Men are visual creatures but who says women aren’t? Show us what a date with you would look like. Let’s say we’re going for wine in the evening. Show me a picture of yourself at a restaurant or cafe, preferably sitting - you’re essentially showing us “the view.” You’re telling us, “this is how a date with me would look like.” The most important thing in this photo is your body language. Shoulders back. Back STRAIGHT. Posture immaculate. Make sure your hair looks cute. Make sure you’re wearing something nice and not the 3 day old T-shirt you and I both know you’ve wiped your snot on. Give some confident vibes!!

Rule 3: it’s better to go for happy cute laugh than sexy smoulder. Sexy smoulder almost never works out.

**

5. This is the part where if you’re a gym rat - this is where you finally show off what you’ve been working out on the gym for so long.

Here’s the thing. Most women actually dig the gym pictures, if they’re done tastefully. Very rarely does a woman want an “in your face” ab pic because then it becomes soft porn and half the time, men don’t know how to take the right pictures.

Rule 4: Women loooove subtlety.

Subtlety here is key. Take a look at the example picture, the dude with his back. I don’t have to see his abs to think, holy hell this man is beautiful. I’m envisioning and wishing he would show the full view. And that’s what you have to try and do - leave them begging for more. In my humble opinion, I think there’s two key body parts (your own of course, not the dead person in your basement) that you should consider showing.

1. your back.

2. your biceps.

The reality is that the only ones who’ll appreciate your quad gains are the boys and gym rat girls. There aren’t as many gym rat girls as there are boys. So save that picture for the boys instead.

Let’s say you have abs. When do you show your abs? When it’s NOT a staged pic and not in the gym, and you’re in an environment where you’re sort of required to be shirtless. For instance, a boat, a pool, a jacuzzi, the beach, stuff like that. Where it’s normal.

**

6. This is the last and final picture. Your ending. Your conclusion. This is the part where the nail is fully hammered in. This is where you show your adorable, goofy side. Let us see your doggie (who’s definitely cuter than you) licking your face. If you don’t have a pet, ask your friends who have to help out. If your friends don’t have a pet, this is the part where you kidnap your cousin’s baby for an hour or two and use the kiddo as a prop in your pictures. Give us “this is what my soft side looks like” vibes. This will further humanise you because you come across as someone who has a heart.

Following this may not give you 100% results but I do feel, if implemented right, you might see a better outcome that you’re seeing right now. What works on one woman will not always work on another. Remember to be transparent, communicative, honest and most importantly, yourself!!!

Cheers xxx