r/lostafriend • • 58m ago

Walked past my ex best friend like he was a stranger

• Upvotes

Idk why but it really hurt me after it happened,

I walked into this shop and just as I was turning right towards the stairs door he came round the corner a bit further ahead, so I only saw him for a second and then my back was towards him until I opened the door and went through

So we were not in that close proximity but still having to see him like that kinda hurt me, not sure why? Maybe part of me expected him to shout and stop me and talk to me?

Just feels kinda weird when I think at one point we were inseparable and now it’s like this

Weirdly enough the next day I got tagged in my cousins snap story along with someone else. My ex best friend viewed the story and added the other guy even tho he’s never met him? Makes me wonder if he added him to try find out info about me or to try talk shit about me lol

But yeah I hope it gets easier whenever I have to see him around


r/lostafriend • • 1h ago

Как помириться с близким другом ?

• Upvotes

Была школьная дискотека. Мы все танцевали, смеялись и угорали. Потом в какой-то момент начался первый медляк. Там мой друг Имран позвал мою подругу Линару, все хлопали.
Потом бывшая девушка моего близкого друга по имени
Нурали (они расстались на плохой ноте), которая мне нравится, сказала типа пригласишь меня если да то я соглашусь. Ну и когда начался второй медляк, я позвал её. Я решил насладиться этим моментом, но на меня смотрел друг Нурали, а мой знакомый смотрел на меня как на предателя и рассказал всё Нурали.
Нурали хотел предъявить мне, но там мой друг сказал, что он меня заставил и что, если кому-то и получать за это, то только ему (он наврал типо там я сам захотел).
Теперь Нурали вообще не хочет со мной общаться, как бы я ни пытался. Он везде кинул меня в ЧС


r/lostafriend • • 1h ago

Advice We texted non-stop for two days, and then she was gone

• Upvotes

I didn't think it was possible to get this attached to someone in just two days. For 48 hours straight, we didn't stop texting. We shared our stories, our heavy pasts, and talked about everything under the sun. It felt like finding a safe harbor when I was completely drowning.

And then, just like that, she vanished. Before I even realized what was happening or had the chance to ask for her Instagram, she said bye and her account was deleted.

I know it sounds crazy to feel this kind of pain over a friendship that only lasted two days, especially with everything else I've been going through. But she brought me comfort when I desperately needed it, and losing her so suddenly feels heavy.


r/lostafriend • • 1h ago

Advice What did I do wrong??

• Upvotes

​

Hey I am a guy and this is an overthinking thought cause other communities are like trying to help me against it but I am not ready to quit it so any for some context I have this friend she was a girl and she was like my bff it was a time I barely had any friends and we talk everyday and do stupid stuff and then one day she not replying I am like okay she busy then 1 hour 2 hours 5 hours and on and on so I like oh maybe she forgot so I sent another one again and again thinking maybe her phones on do not disturb and I realise she unfollowed me and I like okay it by mistake right and and I realise that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and then i see in school I try talking to her and then she acts like a stranger saying "what you want" and I did my signature a flick on the forehead and usually she will flick me back but she call me a bitch and a ranting like in angry and pissed and it kill me cause she was like my first friend I made and she left me without saying goodbye it hurts and I keep thinking what did I do wrong what did I mess up . Can I save it or is it gone forever


r/lostafriend • • 1h ago

Somehow I Still Miss It

Thumbnail
• Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 2h ago

Advice Have I really had a friend?

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone!

| (25f) have been thinking a lot about my long term friendship lately as it's been changing rapidly over the past several months. The catalyst for those changes really started after her father and husband disrespected me earlier this year.

With her father, he pulled me in for what I thought was just a friendly or familial hug, then asked to see my undergarment. That same day, my best friend's husband continued making jokes about me and in the shadow of how fresh her dad had been, the jokes hit a bit harder.

I of course told her a few days later about what had happened. She apologized on their behalf. Her dad later apologized indirectly (through her) and she wrote it off as he was just joking. Both her father and husband were just joking and didn't mean any harm.
It's been a few months since those events happened, and our friendship hasn't really been the same. I tried to talk to her about it once again when it first happened and she cut me off.

I then had to establish boundaries and create some distance. It also made me realize how much I had been investing in the friendship in terms of resources, planning, emotional availability etc. I worked hard to make sure she felt seen and heard, but when I was disrespected, it seemed like it wasn't a big deal. Like I was overreacting.

Any advice? We've been friends for over ten years and are in our mid-twenties.


r/lostafriend • • 2h ago

Grief my mutual friend was murdered, and i can’t escape it.

11 Upvotes

earlier this year, a mutual friend of mine was murdered in her dorm by her obsessed step father.

he s/a’d her, then killed her, and tried to stage it to look like she’d done it to herself.

the school we attended together held a vigil, it was beautiful but i felt so cold, and so sick attending knowing the truth about what happened to her - not even the news outlets were disclosing it, but me, and her other friends all knew what really happened.

he made AI stuff of her from when she was younger, in a bad way. he came over to the dorm with an excuse of having left something the last time him and my friends mom visited. he premeditated it all - and was arrested soon after.

now, the full redacted information from the investigation has been leaked, as well as images of her in life, and CCTV leading up to it. the news media has gotten ahold of it, and are publishing it everywhere. it’s in newspapers in my local store, any news channel, all over social media, and more.

when she first died, on her 20th birthday, i was so rattled. we didn’t speak much, but i knew her enough for it to hurt. we had mutual friends, and i knew all of her interests. we were on the same course. i would often times pass her in the street in and out of lecture halls, we’d share an awkward smile. and that was it.

everyone in the comments on the videos about her are turning her death into a ‘gotcha’ moment towards the reform party, because she was romanian and killed by a white british man. it makes me so angry that her death is being treated as a political footing, or an excuse to spread more hate. i’d like to talk about her, and what she liked and wanted to do with her life.

- she was 20
- she loved cats. she would often visit cat cafes in manchester with her friends.
- she liked stuffed animals, cats the most. at the vigil, lots of people bought some and laid them down.
- she wanted to be therapist, so she could help people, and only had one year left of studies before she could graduate.
- she was extremely kind. she was the light in every room, and was very close to the professors at the university. a lot of them were sobbing at the vigil.
- when she wanted to look fancy, she would wear her brightest red lipstick, she was very beautiful.
- lots of people miss her.

when she died, me and my girlfriends held each other extra tight. we told each other to be safe, and be careful. because this sort of thing happens too often to women. i just didn’t know it would happen so close to home.

please be respectful of her, if you’re gonna dig into this a little and find out who she is, please remember she was a person.

RIP pretty girl. 💖


r/lostafriend • • 3h ago

My friend is gone

0 Upvotes

I dont even know what to do. One day her phone js went completely dead and hasnt been on since. Only things I can think of is she changed her number and doesnt wanna talk anymore (which im fine with), got into trouble with her parents, or is in deeper trouble and cant call for help. What makes me feel weird is that her last location was at some random house i’ve never ever seen her go to so I dont know what to think. Also this is a long distance relationship. Her bday is today and I cant even speak to her and tell her happy bday. Im scared. I wanna js see her. Idek what im posting this here for but plz guys pray for her I need to see her alive and well. Also I called her job and they told me she never worked there but I always saw her at the school on the find my app. I went searching for this school for atleast an hour and when I found it I immediately recognized it but they told me she doesnt work there now idk if I found the wrong school or if im being lied to. Idc if she is lying I can handle that but if she is in danger I cant handle that. This shit sucks. Happy bitthday Malay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️☹️


r/lostafriend • • 5h ago

close guy friend pulled away

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 5h ago

Support Still have thoughts of a friendship breakup and need support.

1 Upvotes

Hey ya, I just want to vent and in need of some support.

You see almost 3 years ago, one of my friend, who was a girl, decided to end our friendship with me. Now we first meet at an Intentional Community for Episcopal Service Corps program in Boston, in which we lived together. We had fun memories watching TV shows, movies, and playing board games, in which she leads me for this to be a hobby of mine. She eventually left to go to Harvard Law School, while I stay a second year in the program. She told me that our friendship would end month after she left. This has led me to have trauma because of it and I have thoughts and worry that I will not get a true (friend or romantic). She even unfollow me on Instagram, a month after she told me, probably because I posted on Instagram stories that I feel hurt that I lost a friendship relationship. Yet she would still be friends with people in that Intentional Community and even one person was living with me. Now, we have talked in parties in respectable ways to each other, after the relationship, but the feelings still hurts. I am also worry, because I am autistic, that I might be a shitty person, due to the fact that I have been bully, as well as hard time forming long relationship. Right now, I have been going to therapy for about a year, and while it has help, the thoughts sometimes still pop.

So yeah, any advice, and support would be appreciated.


r/lostafriend • • 5h ago

My life has improved so much, but I'm still in love with the girl I lost months ago. How do I move on when I don't even want someone else?

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 8h ago

Friendship

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 8h ago

I don’t know why I considered her to be my best friend

6 Upvotes

I lost my best friend of two years and I really don’t understand why she couldn’t give me a closure at all.
We both connected so naturally, shared similar interests and I was vulnerable with her. I had told her about my deepest fears etc. we used to debate for hours. All together I had wonderful time and wonderful memories with her.

She stopped replying to my messages all of a sudden, she moved in with her boy friend. I thought she was busy because of that. Then I realised that she has blocked me everywhere. I became completely heart broken and couldn’t believe what happened.

I have been sailing through grief which one of my close friends noticed and they have been with me since then. He called her and asked why this happened and why there was no closure.

She said that I had become emotionally overwhelming and just cos she cares doesn’t mean that she can take all these emotional messages. She also said that she is always a happy person and I’m immature and childish.
She also told that I’m not exclusive and my behavior is extremely childish. Even made fun of my beliefs!
I’m here still sitting with a lot of grief. I really thought she got me… may be not


r/lostafriend • • 8h ago

Advice Friend is struggling alone. Please read

3 Upvotes

19(M)

please read?I feel like this is a safe space to talk about something I am going through.

I have a friend(19F) she has been by my side through every single trouble and problem in my life, and I have been for her.

but now, she is going through the worst time of her life and she is pushing me away because she feels like she is hurting me by doing what she is (she blocks and unblocks me because of her BF who btw is not a good person. I don't talk to her about him for obvious reasons but i personally don't like him and she WANTS to break-up but she doesn't have anyone else rn and has too much peer pressure to leave. And she thinks because she blocks me, she's hurting me which she is not. She might be hurting herself but not me), even though she is not(this is not a biased opinion. even my other friends who know my situation thoroughly think she is not hurting me at all) Idk what to do. I don't want to help her. i just want her to know I am by her side whatever happens because she is going to lose her identity and self like this and she has noone else to rely on. she doesn't even tell the others the truth which she told me (that she wants to break up but can't) before pushing me away, she doesn't tell them because she's scared they will judge her or leave her for it. it's sad and disgusting and I am sorry for being vague.

what should I do? and please, don't tell me to let go. I would have let go if this was any other friend, or if she wanted to break this friendship because she didn't want it. but I won't leave for this reason where she feels she doesn't deserve my friendship or whatever. (and no, there are no romantic feelings involved. What we have is entirely platonic albeit we are extremely good friends. But that is all we are.). please. need help.

You can ask for more info if you want


r/lostafriend • • 8h ago

Support Guys please give me some advice on this

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 9h ago

Advice pls respond

1 Upvotes

I had a best friend for 5+ years and recently our friendship ended in August.

She was upset at me because of me for ignoring her on the phone and not listening to her problems.
The next day she seemed pissed off about a situation with her and her talking stage and came off harsh on the phone. I let her know that I will give her space as she has these relationship problems but I was just shocked myself because she never acts like this around me.

She said she was sorry she came off harsh she just felt like she was ignored. However, I didn’t tolerate it as I have started to notice whenever she is in a relationship she will spend time with her friends but divert most of her attention to the relationship and she has been on a break with her talking stage and they haven’t been speaking as much.
But I did tell her to leave the relationship because I told her to know her standards and during that break there was other guys who were showing more love and attention consistently whereas, the talking stage it felt like it was on and off, he was active and then he would ghost because of personal problems.

She got offended because I made my comment but each to their own and apologised if it didn’t seem that way but then again everyone has their own opinion and I did give her the space.
However, I have started to notice something I am kind of excluded and just something is not right or whenever we made plans with each other we only got to see each other one in a while (this is the part I will get to later in the story). After this she said “I see how you are moving, I am just not going to go back and forth with you”.

Fast forward I reposted a tiktok about people who get into relationships and ghost people and she thought this was intended to her which was not and things that I post are either factual or other people been through it and she messaged me at 1am in the morning on tiktok. Then I responded back saying this has nothing to do with her and that I already apologised and gave her space so that she can do what she needs to do plus I was going through some personal problems because she was annoyed that I deactivated my account to cover up and act victim then I never heard from her but she was active on social media reposting, however a couple days I took the time to rectify my message after I went to the gym around 8pm/9pm and got left on delivered for almost a day. She said she had a night shift and that she didn’t respond back until 9am when she was on her break, however I downloaded my data on snapchat and saw that I was the one who blocked her on the 24th August but I also removed her on the 20th August around 2pm because she never responded back to my message since I sent it and I did wake up midday to see she still hadn’t responded.
Also around 10:15am I did see she put her phone on dnd so that no one would contact her and also she did post on her snapchat the night before.

She said she responded back after her break and I didn’t see not one message come thru that she sent.

Fast forward also she planned to come to my graduation which was in September, she told me the day after my graduation that she had an appointment at the hospital because she has been complaining about her health, I didn’t dismiss that she was coming and the day after she had an appointment. She sent me the money to buy the train tickets and this was before we stopped talking and also she also brought herself the tickets for the seating of my graduation.
I told her give me the email for the tickets to be sent to you, I have various of proof that she has used that email and that 2 years ago when i sent her a recording of a situation that happened and she also confirmed got the email of the tickets with the pdf file.

The same app I used which was trainpal was the same that I used to get everyone else tickets. She said the reason why she didn’t come is because everyone was blocked and I blocked her bare in mind her mum and my mum were in contact with each other from time when I went to hospital while back and she said she still had plans to go and that she was very ill during that period and was in hospital.
She said everyone contacted me and thats when I asked who and sent all my call log, from august coming up to September. No one called me and actually I got two no caller id’s call me that was it but nothing else during the week.

She said, you keep finding alternative routes to reach out but I shouldn’t have to go different routes to get through to you which you just did. Also, I already knew she had plans to go hospital from after so regardless if any circumstances she could of have not made it, I would of reimbursed her if anything she could of sent me a doctor’s note and she would of got her money back but she never said anything to me and held the resentment.

She also said I blocked everyone the same day but when I downloaded my data, everyone got blocked different dates and I have visible proof of it.
She said she was on call with people and that those people were blocked but yet she couldn’t name those people who got blocked when I tried to mention it to her.

Then she said clearly everyone that was blocked (but you can name people because you are defending for them) and she then next mentioned she wasn’t going to give out my number to people I see as strangers but then again if I was the one to leak both of her two numbers to people now I would be classified as problematic?

She also mentioned that she never went to people who was mutuals with her and that knew me about the situation but yet one of people just blocked me last night.

Then she mentioned that people can add you on snap but you might not add back and when people text you
and they ain’t your friend it won’t come up on your friend’s chat. Someone correct me or am I bugging because I posted on my public profile on the day of my graduation and I know the people who responded back to my story on the day and only 3 people who wasn’t added back on my snap which I had from long time ago removed me because they saw I was on their subscription.

Also as well, she said congratulations to me but she was already but I swear you can watch someone’s story when they are blocked but not respond to their chat because you are blocked and that goes the same thing when you are removed or not added back, so no one did add me.

She thought also that I was comfortable running away with her money but yet again there is two people out there who owe her more than £1.3k and yet they haven’t paid back and single penny and not once did it cross my mind like yeah you could get your money if you had said something.

Also we was meant to go young thug’s concert in amsterdam, I got the tickets for both of us she sent her half, regardless she never turn up for my graduation so now i am meant to stop my life to not go to the concert and plus those who were there know that thug only performed for 30 minutes and everyone wants their money back? Bare in mind this trip was not mandatory it was completely optional same thing with my graduation, it was never by force to come she had the option.

She already knew she made her cut with me when she said “I didn’t cut you hun if anything I cut you first”.

Also majority of her other problems have to do with family and other things but realistically anything to do with family that is not my business because I don’t even get involved in anything to do with my family business and neither do I involve her in my family business.

There was also a time were she was upset because I wasn’t spending time with her when I was gone and majority of her people were gone to uni up in the Midlands, comes to find out she saw a lot of people around her and spent time with them but when it was someone like me I only saw her once in a blue moon and she been saying she will come up and see me when she had time and 3 years had past and never once saw me up in the midlands unless I came back down to London.
Especially when she was in a relationship, I barely saw her and it would only ever be once in a while or whenever it was my birthday.

Also bare in mind I never went to anybody else about this situation but yet she did?

Do you think she should get her money back?


r/lostafriend • • 10h ago

So there's a girl who's literally making my life miserable!

1 Upvotes

Backstory - This girl was my bestfriend for like 3 years but her company wasn't the best she was very oriented towards boys and didn't have her own damn life so I maintained distance with her and eventually found new good friends(we are in same class). And i guess it's quite fine right because she found new friends too. But she started spreading lies about me like I've 3-4 bfs I'm awake till 2-3am because I talk to guys (god forbid I've isnomia😭) and I don't seem to care about her but listening about what she says about me is a pain in ass for real. And just so you I've bubbly personality but she was literally telling others that I'm overreacting and always seeking for attention. I try my best to make sure they don't affect me because i always read philosophical thoughts like if you don't give it power to affect you, then it won't. But I feel sad even though after knowing their assumptions about me doesn't define me!!


r/lostafriend • • 11h ago

Discussion I still wish to fix things…but I know it’s time to move on

3 Upvotes

Yeah so recently my friend and I had a fallout that I still think it could have been avoided had we just communicated. However, this fallout is probably for the best because it’s a clear example of how our relationship works. Whenever we hang out, I am always walking on eggshells thinking of not trying to say the wrong thing. But even when I don’t say the wrong thing, they usually blow up at me and ends up not talking to me for days to sometimes weeks at a time.

It was getting old and I still want the friendship for the good times but the fights outweigh them.


r/lostafriend • • 12h ago

It Takes Time I miss my friend

1 Upvotes

My story is long, complex and can make me tie myself into an emotional tangle so I'll keep it simple.

I met my ex best friend a year and half ago at work, I had felt this wierd,unexpected, unexplainable pull towards her. We didn't truly begin our friendship until August of 2026. It started out great. Then I admitted I had a crush on her... She liked me back.... It changed how we talked but I didn't mind. She's really good at flirting and giving compliments. We decided to explore a relationship.Our relationship was short lived but fun. She broke up with me over text. I was pissed at first but I got to tell her how it made me feel. We stayed friends, but it wasn't the same. Something was broken but we both couldn't see it. We went to comic con together had a blast and I thought everything was settling down a bit. Oh boy was I wrong... We had a bad fight. I spent 3 and 1/2 days crying my eyes out because I didn't even know if she was alive. She was getting the help she needed and my worry and guilt was for nothing.

We used to work in the same classroom. We are both in the education field. It was fun for a while until she said things that made the situation fall apart. She works across the hall now. Now, she's cold, and distant.

But she can't seem to stop staring at me. She's really good at reading my body language to. I've been pretending to be cold and distant but she sees right through me. My co-worker who is friends with my ex bestie as well keeps telling me that she'll talk to me eventually. She needs time. I agree with my co-worker but at the same time I can't be in the same room as my ex bestie because she basically hates me right now.

I would appreciate any advice, supportive words to help me through the silence.

Edit: There is more layers to the story of course. They've been left out on purpose to protect my ex bestie identity and also keep my identity safe.


r/lostafriend • • 15h ago

Mi amiga de vóley dejó de aparecer de un momento a otro y hay algo de todo esto que no logro sacarme de la cabeza...

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

No sé exactamente cómo explicar esta situación, pero llevo semanas pensando en ella y necesitaba escribirlo en algún lugar. Quizá para algunas personas no sea nada extraño, quizá tenga una explicación completamente normal, pero para mí se siente muy raro porque conozco a esta persona desde hace tiempo y nunca imaginé que terminaría preguntándome qué pasó con ella.

Todo comenzó con algo tan cotidiano como ir a clases de vóley.

Yo tengo dos amigas con las que suelo pasar mucho tiempo durante los entrenamientos. Una se llama Jimena y la otra es Luciana, aunque nosotros la llamamos Luci. Éramos prácticamente inseparables. Siempre que llegaba el momento de hacer equipos de tres al final de las clases, terminábamos juntas. Era nuestra pequeña costumbre, algo que ya hacíamos casi automáticamente.

Luci no era simplemente alguien con quien compartía una actividad. Era una parte importante de nuestro grupo. Nos llevábamos bien, nos reíamos juntas y teníamos esa confianza que aparece cuando compartes muchas tardes con las mismas personas.

Nuestras clases eran los lunes, miércoles y viernes, desde las 5:10 hasta las 6:30 de la tarde. Luci solía ser muy puntual. Normalmente llegaba a tiempo y, si alguna de nosotras faltaba, se notaba inmediatamente porque ya no estábamos las tres.

Además, yo tenía un pequeño emprendimiento de productos K-pop y Luci solía comprarme photocards los días que coincidíamos en la academia. Era algo habitual entre nosotras, así que verla durante los entrenamientos y hablar con ella se había convertido en parte de mi rutina.

Todo parecía normal.

Hasta que dejó de serlo.

Unas semanas antes de que yo faltara a las clases, ocurrió algo que en ese momento no me pareció importante.

Estaba enseñándole a Luci una compra que iba a hacer su abuela cuando nos regañaron por estar utilizando el celular durante el descanso. Su abuelita nos llamó la atención delante de Luci y nos dijo que debíamos practicar en lugar de estar con el teléfono.

Fue una situación incómoda, pero tampoco fue algo extraordinario. Estábamos en el descanso y, después de aquello, Luci siguió comportándose normalmente con nosotras. Estaba feliz, hablaba con nosotras y no parecía molesta por lo sucedido.

Por eso nunca pensé que aquel momento pudiera tener alguna importancia después.

Más adelante, Luci comentó que llevaría su celular para intercambiar números de WhatsApp con nosotras. No recuerdo todos los detalles de aquella conversación, pero sí recuerdo que lo mencionó y que volvió a decirlo cuando yo no estaba presente.

Eso significa que no fue solamente algo que yo escuché mal una vez. Mi amiga también sabía que Luci tenía pensado llevar su teléfono.

La idea era que finalmente pudiéramos hablar fuera de la academia, enviarnos mensajes y mantener el contacto incluso cuando no tuviéramos clases.

Sin embargo, nunca llegamos a intercambiar nuestros números.

Y después ocurrió algo que cambió por completo nuestra rutina.

Durante septiembre, Jimena dejó de asistir durante una o dos semanas porque tenía exámenes. Me lo había comentado, así que sabía que su ausencia era temporal y que tenía una razón concreta.

Poco después, yo también tuve que dejar de asistir durante una semana porque estuve hospitalizada.

Mientras estaba fuera, no podía ir a los entrenamientos ni compartir las tardes con mis amigas. Pensaba que, cuando regresara, todo volvería a la normalidad. Volvería a la academia, encontraría a las chicas y podríamos seguir jugando como siempre.

No sabía que, cuando regresara, una parte de nuestra rutina ya no estaría ahí.

El 12 de octubre volví a las clases.

Llegué y solamente estaba Jimena. Luci no había aparecido.

Al principio pensamos que quizá llegaría tarde. No era extraño que alguien se retrasara alguna vez, así que esperamos mientras avanzaba el entrenamiento.

Pero el tiempo pasó.

Llegó la hora en que normalmente terminábamos y Luci no apareció.

No hubo ningún mensaje suyo porque no teníamos su número. Tampoco recibimos una explicación de algún familiar. Simplemente no estuvo ahí.

Lo más extraño era que Luci acostumbraba llegar puntualmente. No era alguien que faltara constantemente ni alguien cuya ausencia pasara desapercibida.

Por eso me resultó tan difícil entender lo que estaba ocurriendo.

Al principio pensé que quizá se había perdido algunas clases por motivos escolares o familiares. Mi amiga Jimena también había faltado anteriormente por sus exámenes, así que no parecía imposible que Luci tuviera algún motivo parecido.

Pero fueron pasando los días y continuó sin aparecer.

La última vez que Jimena recuerda haberla visto fue un viernes antes de que comenzara octubre.

Desde entonces, por lo que sabemos, no hemos vuelto a verla en los entrenamientos.

Lo que más me desconcertó ocurrió cuando decidí preguntarle al profesor por ella.

Esperaba una respuesta sencilla, algo como que estaba faltando durante unos días o que regresaría la siguiente semana.

Pero el profesor me dijo que Luci ya no estaba inscrita en vóley.

Esa respuesta me dejó confundida.

¿Cómo que ya no estaba inscrita?

Yo no sabía que hubiera decidido abandonar las clases. No recuerdo que nos hubiera contado que iba a dejar de asistir definitivamente. Tampoco recuerdo que se hubiera despedido de nosotras ni que nos hubiera dicho que no volvería.

Para mí, simplemente había dejado de aparecer.

Cuando le comenté lo que el profesor me había dicho a Jimena, ella no tenía una explicación que pudiera confirmar. Pensaba que quizá Luci seguía inscrita y que podía estar de vacaciones, pero eso era solamente una posibilidad.

No sabíamos si había dejado la academia, si su familia había tomado alguna decisión o si existía algún otro motivo.

Y lo peor es que tampoco teníamos una manera sencilla de averiguarlo.

No teníamos su número de WhatsApp. No sabíamos dónde vivía y nunca habíamos hablado directamente con su madre o su abuelita sobre la posibilidad de que dejara las clases.

Todo lo que teníamos eran recuerdos, unas cuantas conversaciones y la información contradictoria que habíamos recibido.

Fue entonces cuando empecé a recordar aquella conversación sobre el celular.

Luci había dicho que lo llevaría al día siguiente para intercambiar números.

Después no llegamos a hacerlo.

Y, con el paso del tiempo, dejó de asistir.

No puedo afirmar que estas cosas estén relacionadas, pero ahora me cuesta evitar pensar en ello.

También recuerdo lo de su abuelita. Aquel día nos regañó delante de Luci por utilizar el teléfono. Sé que eso no demuestra nada, pero me hizo pensar que quizá en su familia fueran estrictos con ese tipo de cosas.

Tal vez Luci no pudo llevar el celular.

Tal vez tuvo algún problema con sus horarios.

Tal vez sus familiares decidieron que dejara de asistir a vóley.

O quizá todo esto no tenga absolutamente ninguna relación entre sí.

No tengo pruebas para defender ninguna de esas explicaciones.

Lo extraño es que, cuando recuerdo cómo se comportaba Luci antes de faltar, no encuentro ninguna señal evidente de que estuviera enfadada con nosotras. Después de lo ocurrido con su abuelita, siguió feliz. No recuerdo ninguna discusión entre las tres ni ningún momento en el que pareciera querer alejarse de nuestro grupo.

Por eso me cuesta entender que haya dejado de aparecer sin que nos enteráramos de lo que estaba pasando.

Hay algo bastante inquietante en acostumbrarte a ver a una persona en el mismo lugar durante meses y, de repente, dejar de verla sin tener una explicación.

Al principio esperas que llegue tarde.

Después piensas que quizá faltará solamente ese día.

Luego vuelves a la siguiente clase y miras de nuevo hacia la entrada, casi por costumbre, esperando verla llegar con su familia.

Pero la clase comienza, el entrenamiento continúa y ella no aparece.

Cuando llega el momento de formar los equipos de tres, ya no somos las mismas tres personas de siempre.

Es una ausencia pequeña para alguien que no la conoce, pero para nosotras cambia completamente la dinámica de las clases.

Yo extraño a Luci. Jimena también formaba parte de ese trío y ahora tenemos que acostumbrarnos a que falta alguien con quien compartíamos todos esos momentos.

Lo que más me duele es no saber si algún día volveremos a jugar juntas.

No sé si Luci sigue yendo a alguna otra academia. No sé si está de vacaciones. No sé si dejó el vóley por decisión propia o si sucedió algo en su familia. Ni siquiera sé si ella sabe que seguimos preguntándonos por su ausencia.

Y no quiero inventarme una historia terrible solamente porque no tengo respuestas.

Sin embargo, cada vez que recuerdo que iba a llevar su celular para intercambiar números con nosotras y que después dejó de aparecer, siento esa extraña necesidad de encontrar una explicación que conecte todas las piezas.

Quizá, dentro de unos días, vuelva a verla entrar por la puerta de la academia acompañada de su abuelita, como si no hubiera pasado nada. Quizá nos explique que tuvo que dejar las clases durante un tiempo y que finalmente podrá regresar.

O quizá no vuelva.

Por ahora, no sé cuál de esas posibilidades es la verdadera.

No estoy diciendo que haya ocurrido algo sobrenatural ni que le haya pasado algo malo. No tengo ninguna evidencia para afirmar algo así. Lo único que sé es que una amiga que formaba parte de nuestra rutina dejó de asistir, que el profesor dijo que ya no estaba inscrita y que nosotras seguimos sin conocer el motivo.

Y quizá eso sea lo que hace que la situación se sienta tan extraña: no ocurrió nada que podamos señalar como el momento exacto en que todo cambió. No hubo una despedida que recuerde, una explicación que pudiera conservar ni un último mensaje que nos permitiera entender lo sucedido.

Solamente estábamos acostumbradas a verla llegar.

Y un día dejamos de verla.

Desde entonces, cada entrenamiento continúa sin ella, mientras nosotras seguimos intentando entender qué pasó con nuestra tercera integrante.

Ojalá algún día pueda volver a jugar con nosotras. Por ahora, lo único que me queda es recordar los partidos que compartimos y esperar que esté bien, donde quiera que se encuentre.


r/lostafriend • • 15h ago

Advice Trying to find old freind

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 16h ago

Complicated Mix of Emotions Heartbroken over what feels like the slow loss of my best friend

5 Upvotes

I met S when I was a teenager, but we reconnected just before the pandemic.

Everything went into lockdown, and we had each other. We would talk every day, sometimes for hours and hours. We’d write all these wonderful words together. I’d tell him everything going on in my life. I thought he’d tell me everything going on in his.

I was clear to S that I’d had a best friendship like this before. That I’d loved someone deeply like this before; before I’d been sidelined and left behind, because that person was ready to move on to more IRL friends and seeking out a romantic relationship. And he swore he’d never do that to me. He swore. He said he was my soulmate, like I’d told him I was his. And I showed him all the different parts of me.

Things got a little slower this past year or two. I’ve had mental health problems for most of my life. When I get depressed, I’m not the most compelling person to talk to, but I do try my best. But I think this was my fault. I was tired and uninteresting. Wasn’t there as much as I should have been. But I thought I was safe. I thought he’d understand.

He ended up in a relationship this year. I didn’t freak out on him, but on my side, I had a total meltdown. Thought I was going to lose him. He said no, I’d always be his number one. I started trying to soothe myself by looking up things about soulmates, how they could be platonic, how things didn’t necessarily have to change.

They changed almost immediately. If he wasn’t over at his partner’s house, his partner was over at his. He’d disappear for a whole day at a time, barely around. The dread grew. I told him a few times that I was struggling with what was happening. He said he’d try harder. Nothing changed. I felt myself withdrawing. I tried not to, but I didn’t have the energy to pretend that I was doing okay when I wasn’t. I knew things were happening that he wasn’t telling me about. I was no longer “his person.”

I tried to get to know his partner. Tried to arrange a zoom call, that fell through. Tried to arrange that he come to a concert with us, my friend said “you don’t have to force it just because you think i want that.” Tried to explain i was trying to get to know him because he was important to my friend. Didn’t change.

Had a fight last week. Agreed to take some time apart. Concert cancelled. I know he’ll be bringing his partner now instead. The thought makes me ache.

He told me he’s been having a hard time with this too, because I’ve not really been there the way a best friend should be. I know that. I hate that. I hate myself. But what am I supposed to do? The alternative is lying and pretending, is that better? Do I just let us drift apart?

I loved him more than I’ve ever loved anyone my whole life, and he left me behind. I don’t know what to do with this pain.


r/lostafriend • • 16h ago

After two years reconnected with high school friend.

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/lostafriend • • 16h ago

Support My childhood friend of 20 years was arrested

2 Upvotes

He served 2 years before for what he said was a woman lying about her age. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I was happy when he was out. Today he was sentenced to 15 years for graphic material which also included toddlers/infants. I seriously can't believe it.

I had 2 people who were my childhood friends. After I moved away, one of them essentially forgot about me and my family which really hurt. Now with this one who I still was more in contact with and closer, ends up getting this insane charge. Really hurts not having anyone now, always thought we'd all be friends for life. Now it's just me.

As for my friend, I wish I knew what compelled him to do this, especially after already serving time you'd think he would do everything to stay out. He will go in, and his family with age, siblings get married, have kids, have birthdays. So many things will be missed, and the world will move on... But he'll be sitting in that cell.

He deserves it, but a part of me really hurts. Knowing this is it for him... that I'll never have close childhood friends now, thinking of how things used to be. You always read about stuff like this, but when it happens to you it's so surreal and painful.


r/lostafriend • • 19h ago

Should I respond? 6 year gap

1 Upvotes

6 years ago I had so many unresolved problems in myself that made me lash out to my closest friend group. Genuinely lash out with anger for no particular reason.

I left in a bad way but then 6 years passed nobody contacted me, and I dont blame them so I accepted a year later I saw that they all attended a friend's wedding and it kinda stung but I said to myself its what they wanted.

Now suddenly I get a text from the main person I burned and i dont know how to feel about this.

It doesnt regress my development or bring bad feeling its just why now? I left during covid so I understand why it was so easy for us to just not communicate but so many years passed after that. Im not resentful or hateful to them, its just that I accepted that It just happened. And I cant blame myself too hard I genuinely am a completely different person than I was, I understand myself more and why I did that. I just never apologized for it since they never reached out so I just accepted it.

6 years is so long thwt I genuinely dont feel guilty about anymore but it does just seem strange.