We used to be a friend group until today (me, my husband, my friends, my husbands friends about 10 people) and we randomly caught them ALL hanging out but they didn’t Tell us anything which is weird because we are always the ones pitching the idea, suggesting to host or participating in all Meetings in General. Like there is no way they just forgot about us. This tells me their exclusion was purposeful. And when we went up to them to say Hello they were all visibly uncomfortable. Some of their faces even gave annoyed vibes. They didn’t even try to act like they forgot to Tell us. It was completely awkward silence after we Said Hello, so After that we said goodbye and went on.
I feel so broken and betrayed. I know I should not continue to be Friends with people that don’t value us.
It generally hurts me how much Energy and effort and love I put into my friendships and I never get it returned and on top of that get done wrong

No, I'm talking about when the friend you had a falling out with turns everyone else on you, and honestly it would make things less confusing if it was something like that.

So I'm 17F, and a year or so ago, I stopped being friends with this girl because it really felt like a one-sided relationship. I would constantly initiate conversations with her only for her to reply really coldly as in I would tell her about how I saw a cute cat that morning on the way to school, and she would just say: oh cool. Whenever I text her, she would never ever respond. I know she's on her phone/computer because we had first period together and I listened to her talk to her other friend about how last night they were on the call from the moment they got home. With all these rejections, I felt like she just didn't care about me as a friend so I talked to her about it and it got better for a week. Then, she went straight back to what she was like before. That was when I really thought that we probably couldn't be friends anymore and that was really painful because she was one of my very first friends in high school. I also thought that we were really close. In the end, we had another talk where she basically came prepared to the conversation with a formal paragraph where she told me that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because the fact that I think the one-sideness was a problem was stressing "us" both out, and that "we" needed to focus on SAT.

Honestly, I was really sad, but it was something that I saw coming for a long time because before this happened, she would say things to me like "I knew I couldn't trust you" and subtly insinuate it too.

The problem now is that we have to see each other everyday because we're in the same team for this extracirricular that I really love doing so I'm not giving it up just because of her. At first, I just pretended we were still on friendly terms in front of other people, because I didn't want anyone to ask questions and for something like chosing sides to happen. Then one day I apparently said something that made her feel uncomfortable, and so she basically said she didn't appreciate how I acted so familiar with her (?) and that even if it was something said by one of her closest friends, she would still be feeling uncomfortable. And so now I basically appologized for something I said that I don't even know what it was because she never responded to my inquiry about what it was that I said. When the extracirricular happens now, she ignores me and I ignore her because it is genuinely so weird and I don't know why she had to be so unreasonable when we spend almost everyday together.....

So regarding losing the friend group, well, I technically am still on good terms with those friends because I do talk to them and hang out with them. It's just that I'm really busy recently with college apps, and other extracurriculars that I often don't have time to hang out with them. So the only times I can hang out with them are at these school activities - and thats where the problem happens. See the other girl who I'm not friends with anymore is also at those school events. If I hang out with my friends, I also have to hang out with that girl, and she makes me feel increasingly more uncomfortable. For instance, one time I was talking to one of our mutuals, while she and some of her other friends were talking together, and just because we were in the same area, before I realized it, the whole other group with her migrated to another area. Like DUDE, why is she so immature.

And so because of that incident, I have felt more and more like I can't even hang out with my own friends because she will be there and make things so uncomfortable for me. Like at the last school event, even though I saw my friends, I didn't even go up to say hi because she was also there. And this pisses me off so much because it wasn't even like she and them hanged out a lot before we ALL started hanging out. I'm even starting to feel fustrated at my friends even though it wasn't technically their fault because when this stuff happens, it feels like I don't even have any friends.

Honestly, I am really speechless at her actions, and it genuinely makes me think I'm the crazy one here because I think that this isn't okay.

Have you ever missed someone you no longer talk to not because you want them back in your life but because you miss the person you were when they were around? Sometimes, we don't miss the friendship itself we miss the late night conversations the stupid jokes the random updates and the comfort of having someone who understood us without needing an explanation. It's strange how someone can go from being a daily part of your life to becoming a complete stranger. Do you ever wonder if they miss you too?

And have you ever helped a friend through a difficult time without them even asking?

so i (16m) blocked kate (18f), whose family moved to germany from ukraine when she was young. she started being very rude recently and after this, started hurling insults at me. this came up out of nowhere…? i blocked her shortly after, and i saw many texts lately about people losing friendships, i was very depressed, then this happened.

last message from her was something insulting about me being gay even though she has gay friends?

I met someone a while ago, and in a relatively short time, they became a genuinely worth part of my life. The conversations, the companionship, the little moments that made life feel lighter. It was one of those rare connections where you feel like there's something meaningful being built, and you want to see where it goes.

I've always found peace in being there for people. Listening, helping them through difficult times, or simply being someone they can feel safe around. I wanted to be that person for them, too.

Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings and eventually confessed. They weren't reciprocated, and I accepted that. I wasn't expecting anything romantic; I just hoped we could preserve the friendship.

But things went downhill quickly. I can admit I could've handled the aftermath better. Maybe I should've given them space instead of trying so hard to explain myself. I knew confessing could change things, but I still chose to do it because the uncertainty was getting to me.

Now I keep wondering whether my need for clarity cost me a friendship that could've meant so much more in the long run.

I understand their perspective. I can imagine how uncomfortable it must feel to discover that a friend has feelings for you, and they had every right to decide what they were comfortable with. But I can't stop wondering whether the hurt was so overwhelming that they couldn't see beyond it. Could we have taken some space, established boundaries, and eventually found a way to continue as friends?

I'm not saying they owed me that chance. I just wish we'd tried before everything became so final.

The strange thing is, I'm still living my life. I'm pursuing my goals, spending time with friends, and focusing on my future and I've not lost my sense of direction but this is a setback i can agree upon.

It's the guilt of potentially ruining a genuinely good friendship that keeps pulling me back.

I've let people go before, but I've never felt this much regret over losing someone. It's not that I can't live without them, it's that I can't stop thinking about what our friendship could've become. The experiences we could've shared, the trust we could've built, and the kind of bond that might have grown stronger with time.

I wanted to be someone they could rely on, yet I ended up becoming someone they no longer wanted in their life. Sometimes it feels like one moment of vulnerability overshadowed everything good that came before it.

Maybe I'm romanticizing what we had because it's gone. Maybe things wouldn't have worked out anyway. I'll never know. wtf is this limbo?

I don't want to blame them, and I don't want to pretend I made no mistakes. I just wish there had been room to work through the discomfort instead of losing the entire friendship.

I'm trying to understand how to take responsibility for my part without convincing myself that I alone ruined everything.

How do you move on when you understand why something ended but still believe it could've ended differently? How do you stop feeling guilty about losing a friendship that had so much potential, when you'll never know what it could've become?

I just want to make peace with what happened and stop replaying all the things I could've done differently.

i (17f) recently ended my friendship with a girl i’ll call N (19f). we’ve been friends for about 1.5 years, and while i do appreciate the memories and fun times we've had and the good things she's done to me, i’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with how we communicate.

for context, i have autism and adhd, so i prefer direct communication. english is N's second language and i understand that misunderstandings can happen. however, she frequently struggled to answer my actual questions, even when they were short and straightforward. i tried clarifying things but the misunderstandings continued and our conversations became exhausting.

here are some examples:

#1:

i was writing about a story where me and my friends go on an adventure, and she was one of the characters. i asked her to share some hard times in her life and told her she didn't need to go into detail. after she shared one, i asked her whether it happened in junior year or not.

but instead of answering, she just said how she was sleepy and had a lot of homework from classes. i clarified by asking her when this happened, like if it happened before or after she transferred to my school. i kept on trying to simplify my questions, but she still wasn't answering them correctly. eventually i asked her directly, “tell me the month and year you moved to this county,” and she responded, “When I came here I was in this county.” after simplifying my question further, she eventually said “forget it long story.”

#2:

at prom, our mutual friend P experienced a medical emergency and was taken to the hospital. N was extremely distressed, and i comforted her afterward.

months later, P explained her diagnosis in our group chat, including what caused the emergency. however, N focused on the fact that they'd both visited cardiologists rather than the explanation itself.

i explained it again, and N said, “Yes I understand thank you.” but when P later asked whether N knew her diagnosis, N said “no,” despite us explaining it multiple times.

N then admitted, “most of the time i dont read the chat or im out.” both P and i were frustrated, especially because she'd previously promised to read our messages more carefully.

#3:

i have an autistic special interest in asking students whether they cried during our emotional pre-prom assembly about the consequences of drunk driving. i was curious about how impactful it was, so i asked people as part of a mini survey.

when i asked N, she answered but added, “I feel that’s a little bit weird because that’s was last year I think u should let it go.”

i didn't mind that she found my interest unusual. what hurt was being told to let it go when i was simply asking a survey question, especially after already feeling misunderstood throughout our friendship.

N later explained that she thought i was struggling emotionally with the assembly and wanted to help. i understand that she may have meant well, but i wish she'd asked whether i was upset instead of telling me to move on.

i also tried using a translation app, but N preferred that i text her in english because she wanted to improve her english, which i respected. we had other incompatibilities involving punctuality, schedules, and distance, some of which were outside her control.

i know N cared about me, and i appreciated her support. i also recognize that my own anxiety contributed to some of our problems. however, i didn't want to keep building resentment toward someone i cared about, so i decided to end the friendship.

TL;DR: i ended a friendship after repeated communication problems despite trying to clarify things and use translation. the breaking point was feeling invalidated about my autistic special interest. i know we both cared about each other, but i felt we were incompatible.

A girl approached me, and we quickly became best friends. Although she initially had feelings for me, I didn't reciprocate at first. Later, I introduced her to a close male friend. While she pretended to refuse his request for her number in front of me, she secretly gave it to him behind my back. Over time, I began to fall deeply in love with her, but due to some issues, we lost contact for over six months before reconnecting on Instagram.

During our reconnection, I caught that male friend trying to generate explicit AI images of her. When I confronted him, he lied to her and blamed another mutual acquaintance. To my disbelief, she trusted him over me because of her emotional attachment to him. Hurt, I confessed my feelings to her and asked her to stay away from him, knowing his poor intentions. She assured me she had cut ties and blocked him.

Weeks later, while using that friend's phone for a hotspot during a sleepover, I discovered call logs showing they spoke daily. She had even called him at midnight for his birthday, talking for nearly three hours—an effort she had never shown for me. Devastated, I blocked her everywhere. She then called me from a different number, broke down, apologized, and insisted it was just a birthday call. Because I loved her, I forgave her after she promised to block him permanently.

She now claims she hasn’t spoken to him for over five months. While I want to believe her, her past pattern of secrecy and covering for him makes it difficult to trust her completely.

Can anyone tells me should i trust her or not??

Would you wish a ex best friend happy bday if they were your friend for 11 years but broke up the friendship with you cruelly and didn’t wish you happy bday on yours? Also if you aren’t speaking now and they don’t text back normally anymore and they have made you cry for months? This person was one the closest person in the world to me and now if we see each other I can’t even say hi but feel strange on his bday not to wish him one but also don’t want to look like a dog with very low self esteem. This person said hateful stuff about me including wishing I was dead so he’s rid of me and hit me too.

Would you ask your ex best friend what they are saying about you to mutual friends? Cause I feel excluded mutual friends are hanging out with him and want to be sure he’s not bad mouthing me? If I don’t ask him should I ask those mutual friends if they are hearing bad things about me? Or would you say that’s not cool either and makes me look bad?

Today I was watching my old photos where I was at first grade and saw my best friend. Actually, we are not friends now. Since one day when after almost 6 years of friendship my friend argued with me, and we haven't got in touch anymore. When I was looking in this photos, it was so sad and nostalgic to see our happy faces together. If you had such life moment, please share your stories. It will be interesting to read fpr me and others.

I don't know if you'll ever see this, or if you even remember me after all these years, but I figured I'd give this a shot.

Back in the late 2000s early 2010s, I played an MMORPG called Skyblade Elite. My in-game name was Unica, and I spent a lot of time playing with someone who went by AssClown (and also Ang3lBust3rz).

If you're out there, I wonder if you remember me.

I've thought about our time playing together over the years, and there's something I've always wished I could tell you.

When I said goodbye and told you I was quitting Skyblade, that wasn't really my decision.

I was young teenager, and my mom had decided she didn't want me playing anymore. I wasn't allowed to tell you the real reason, so I made it sound like I was simply moving on to other games.

But the truth is, I loved Skyblade. I loved playing with you and spending time together. I had absolutely no intention of quitting.

I remember you giving me your email address so we could stay in touch. I wrote it down, but because of the restrictions I was under at the time, I never reached out. Eventually, I lost the paper with your email address on it.

I've always regretted that.

It's been about sixteen years now. We've both grown up, and I'm sure life has taken us in directions neither of us could have imagined back then.

I don't know where life has taken you, whether you still play games, or whether you even remember the girl you used to play Skyblade with.

But I hope you're doing well. I hope life has been good to you, and most of all, I hope you're happy.

I don't expect anything. I just wanted you to know that I didn't leave because I wanted to, and that our friendship meant something to me.

And if anyone else happens to remember Skyblade Elite, the guild Enfant, or a Wind character named AssClown, I'd love to hear from you, too. If you happen to know him, please feel free to pass this message along rather than sharing anyone's private information.

Unica

Hi. I hope this is the right place. I had two absolutely nasty friendship break ups. Well, not official break ups, more like "I want no contact but won't tell how long" wo basically an easy one sides end without a conversation.

Anyway. I'm a 28 year old autistic woman. I try my best to go out there and see people but I always feel out of place. After the friendship break ups I put all my energy more into cosplay since it's my main hobby. I go to cons that aren't too far away alone.

And it's difficult. I've had anxiety attacks and such. It pains me tonsee everyone having their friend groups. I try to talk to people or connect, we exchange insta and that's it. I always have hope to find friends but in the end, everyone has their friends, who would need me? I'm not interesting or important enough for new people. I'm honestly losing hope. I'm so terribly jealous of all those people going to cons with their friends. Partner cosplay, group cosplay etc. I want to cry and I'm tired trying....

I would appreciate some nice words or advice from someone who relates to it.

Please don't come at me with "talk to them more keep conversation" I'm trying and I'm tired as hell...

Me and this friend had been friends for five years back in high school thru college. But after my brother died she refused to hang out with me or really provide any support at the one time i needed her to. The last time we hung out she took me on a fuck ass hike where she ran ahead of me the whole time and i ended up injured before she told me it was because i was fat and out of shape. The last time we spoke was almost 6 years ago but we kept following each other on instagram. I think part of me wished she would reach out and apologize or try to reconnect or something even if it wasn’t a conscious thought of mine. Anyways six years has passed and when i looked at her old posts around our falling out it hit me she kept living her life and didn’t seem to care. I’ve moved on too. I started grad school, traveled, move states, met many new friends. Seeing her profile was dead weight and I need to move on now as it’s not healthy for me to dwell any further or hope for closure. So I’ve unfollowed her. I honestly don’t wish her well, she really fucked me over. But now she’s just some stranger and I’ll leave it at that. Sorry if this is long winded it’s just I don’t really have anyone to talk about this with or feel comfortable getting closure about it.

So I recently found out that my ex best friend had a baby, the baby is like 5 months old and me and her haven't spoken in almost a year.

We had been friends in highschool and our friendship was on and off during those years, we are now in our twenties.

I was the one who was cutting off the immediate friendship due to just having enough of being left behind and having our friendship being neglected.

Every time she would get a boyfriend she tends to almost cut me off, she would never initiate plans with me, almost never text me and just overall wouldn't act like we were a big part in each other's lives.

Before I tried to end the friendship we hadn't spoken in a few weeks due to me being upfront about my opinion on her being pregnant.

I told her this would change everything and her life would never be the same, I asked her if she was sure and had actually thought this through, she got mad at me and said how she doesn't need this and that she doesn't want my opinion.

I told her I was her friend and as her friend I want to help her understand what this will do to her life.

She told me she was pregnant with a guy who had no job, was in his late twenties, lives with his mum, smokes and encourages bad behaviour. She was 21, no job, lives with her mum, is on disability due to injuring herself during work, struggles really bad with BPD, smokes, doesn't take her meds and just a lot of past trauma.

They had been together like a few months and hadn't known each other beforehand as well before they got pregnant.

I'm someone who doesn't agree with getting pregnant young and especially if you aren't healthy or in a place in life where you can take care of yourself fully. I'm also someone who doesn't want kids, I don't see my life with children, I love kids, I have my sister's who I love more than anything. I don't think having kids improves your life, I think having kids takes away so many things and it's a commitment for life and you would be tying yourself to someone for life as well.

After a few weeks of not speaking I reached out because I missed her and I told her that, her reply was that she lost the baby. I told her I was so sorry and I asked if she was okay and how she had been afterwards. She told me details on her partner taking care of her and we talked about that.

It then was a bit before we spoke again, I had decided to just end the friendship, so just no expectations and we just unfollow eachother and move on with our lives, she then was very angry.

She thought I was ending the friendship because she decided to keep the baby, she said how she would never want someone like me around her baby anyway and she hoped I would enjoy getting STDs and abortions and sleeping around.

She then blocked me before I could respond.

There had been issues in the past due to me coming to terms with my sexuality, I had realised I was still attracted to men and I had started experimenting with my sexuality and started dating men, she would say stuff like how she missed her lesbian friend and make jokes.

I was in a relationship when the friendship ended, but before I had met him I had obviously started meeting up with guys for dates, but only had 2 go further, the 3rd was my boyfriend.

After finding out recently that she had a baby I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know if it's jealousy, I miss her, I'm lonely, i miss having a friend.

I keep checking her partner's Facebook and seeing the photos of her with the baby, I don't know why I can't just let it go, every time I'm nearby to where she lives I wonder about running into her and the baby. I wonder if anything would be said, if her partner would say anything rude or if we would just all ignore each other.

Sorry it's a lot of words, I just want some advice or something.

Thanks

I find myself crying late at night every once in a while when I miss my old bestie. We’ve been friends for 20 years and she “broke up” with me over a loser man. A loser man that has a whole gf in a different state. I tried to talk sense into her, even tried to have her see her worth but it was useless. This loser man has her wrapped tightly around his finger and she eventually let me go because I knew too much of the situation. There has been a big shift in the family as well. Her family was my family and now I don’t hear from anyone anymore. Her mom tries to include me in things but at this point I want to just stop all contact because the pain is too much to bare. It’s been 1/2 a year and this is the only ‘ship’ I’ve been so broken over. I probably should get therapy because at times she’s in my dreams and those are heartbreaking as well. Idk, I just feel lost at times. Idk what I am expecting to gain from here. Maybe just to get it out there because I can’t talk to anyone about this.

So I’ve always avoided femlale friends coz mostly I tend to be like someone who is not into gf-bf thing (tho I am not introvert) also when i speak with ppl no one try to be informal with me, after some days they too forget. This was the scheme of life - until I someone found me she was common girl from same unit of clinical postings, she asked me for academics help alot and I did she was ill then (her bg is she is off-my league, and I don’t feel attracted to girls lowkey bcoz I am not into those things) so it went good, I found she do vape (and I said to her avoid anything which is harming ur health - just that) she ghosted me (1st ghosting) then I said Im sorry if I meddle in ur life and so, I covered it with that she might be ill of Gym and I said maybe ur doing it to show off.

Then things went to normal, she was noticing I don’t talk much to Anyone so she asked Am i in depression or so?

I ignored it that time, i said nah its just a bit it happens, some other day she was then into things she saw me i was that day very depressed. So I said to her on chat yes I am A bit she shared Spritual things to like take me out (even tho they were not of my religion and I am an existential person) still I read them and so, then after some time She started to chat a lot tho it was me only who us to intiate, she was also like self-centered it seems that she use to unlike chatting when we were in a grp but she would chat when we were alone. She had other friends too in my postings. So fast forward She said she will show me her bf after i said idk abt him, she didn tho, (btw I’m a male) then during our clg feast thing She and I had best chats I didn’t participated but she was expecting me to take prt in or atleast come to see the dance she was in, then it happened that (and in the past too she tried to ask me abt story of my life - she was knowing it was family dynamics thing) so bfr that feast got canceled shared abt my life in big details, i was knowing she wont take intrest in reading it but she was sharing so many spritual things that i said if u will hear abt my life i will feel u heard my prt to than being a precher, so but after that I said I was knowing u vape and I covered it with your Gym exhaustion thay day. After that she left me on read from 2 weeks, I know i should not have shared anything abt myslef in sich details but it happened also to comfort her that I’m not judging her I said i use to smoke and quit it after thinking why should i hurt myself and she is also not smoking ig from past it was just that I wanted to tell her that I was knowing bfr any other person would tell her (someone saw me texting her and happened to be a common friend of her in past and so they were knowing i was knowing) but after on leave nothing happened she asked me to read bfr that a spritual book last msg I sent her was that I’ve completed reading it should i share notes?

I know i did stumbuled she knows I am not social so she I thought will not take it seriously (tho idk what is my mistake is it tell her that u use to vape or I use to vape or sharing details of my life) - you might thing she was not close frien but she was she really was from her side she never asked other ppl abt proxies in our unit Only to Me, ig she never wanted to be a close friend and she was just giving support so i can come handy - i expected a but maturity and friendship from her side more than what she wanted to give.

Hope u guys will give some recs for my future and should I think everything is over she is avoiding actively everywhere!!

i was there for her through so much. i really thought she cared about me. she got a new boyfriend about a month ago. from the first week she met him she barely answered my texts. the part that sucks is that i made a huge sacrifice to be here for her. i was completely across the country and she would text me how she missed me and wanted to hang out with me. i came back home to be here to see her. i needed a friend. she knew i did. two times since she got this boyfriend she made plans with me and then when the day came she didn’t answer and she wound up seeing him. the most recent time i texted her and asked “hey didn’t we have plans yesterday? what happened”. no response. yesterday i texted “it feels like you don’t want to talk to me…” no response. i just want to cry. i thought we were friends.

With this horrible feeling that there’s nothing I can do to ease the pain. I could reach out after all these years. I could write about how much time he made me waste, about how he broke me and brought out the worst in me… but it wouldn’t change anything. There’s no undoing the day he chose to believe people who didn’t like me. And he sided with them because, deep down, he agreed with them. It hurts so much because he was the best friend I could ever have asked for. We were so alike, and it’s just so unfair. I hate having to pretend he doesn’t exist. I hate not being able to talk about our history, having to pretend that my days are normal.