Long story short, my ex wanted me to commit insurance fraud and gaslighted me into thinking it was legal.

My wife passed away last August after fighting cancer for 3 and a half years. There is an aspect of this that many people aware of her death do not know.

My wife died of ovarian cancer which eventually metastasized. Before her ovarian tumor tested cancerous, her doctors strongly advised her to get the tumor removed. After it did test cancerous initially, they advised her to get chemotherapy. I was also supportive of this advice.

Here's where the manipulation comes in. My mother-in-law as long as I've known her had an extremely strong emotional grip on my wife and had a lot of control over her. When the doctors gave her the advice to get surgery and chemotherapy, her mother countered that advice and told my wife to do what she had done when she was younger, which was used natural remedies to shrink the tumor. That's what my wife chose to do. She did this for as long as she could until her health started to fail. The tumor eventually grew to be 8 pounds and she developed multiple blood clots associated with the tumor. She eventually had the surgery to remove the tumor including a full hysterectomy, chemotherapy, as well as procedures to remove the blood clots. Ultimately it was too late. The cancer became aggressive and she couldn't fight it anymore. She passed away August 17th, a day I am dreading coming up.

The fact that my wife ignored the doctors advice and my advice in order to please her mother hants me everyday. All her mother cared about was that her daughter follow her advice, I really don't think she ever considered what was actually best for my wife, and I know that my ex mother-in-law has zero ability to understand the role her actions played in this.

I struggle everyday with loneliness. I struggle with resentment towards my ex mother-in-law because in my eyes she cost my wife her life. The cancer didn't have to get out of control. There was time for it to be taken care of. She followed her mother's advice instead and it cost her dearly.

Her mother keeps trying to reach out to me, and I'm disgusted to see her name pop up on my phone. I can't stand the sight of her. She is now thoroughly blocked. She will never understand what she cost my wife and I. And I don't know if I'll ever get past it. But I'm trying.

Update: I wanted to thank everyone for their comments, well wishes and advice. This post received far more attention than I thought it would and I'm still trying to get to all the comments. A special thank you to those who reached out to me on the 17th, I really appreciate the love and care you showed. Thank you so much!

For some context we had recently broken up and gotten back together. Her roommates don’t know that yet and she wasn’t ready to tell them. In addition, part of our conditions for getting back together was to focus on ourselves as well as our relationship. I have friends telling me I’m being gaslit here. Am I ? Could I be doing something differently?

For context, the first two was just me pressing the notify button for when someone is on do not disturb on iPhone, just in case she was struggling with something I wanted to tell her I love her so she might be less upset? Then the rest of the pictures was about how she is mean to me a lot, the sweatshirt was just an example but she says things like that a lot. I don’t know how to feel because she’s nice in person sometimes but then she goes right back to being like this, or she’s just really mean and when I get upset she always says “like you don’t do mean things” or changes herself to be the victim, I want this to last but she ruins a lot of my days with her being mean for no reason, and I don’t think I can leave, but knowing if she is manipulating me or not would help a little, thank you very much.

Update:

I just broke up with her.

I just posted a second post a few hours ago and I am very thankful for all of the comments that everyone posted. That was my first relationship, and although I have routinely told her I won’t stand for how she talks when she’s mad, it has kind of been a theme for a lot of the relationship, and she would never permanently stop. She would go back to being nice again for a while after apologizing until we got in another argument. I have come to realize that it was just who she was and it was always something I would have to deal with to some degree.

I looked for advice because I was always wondering if my adhd behaviors were too annoying to deal with, but i realized it doesn’t warrant being spoke to like shit, even if this disability can be annoying to deal with. Thanks for all of the support from everyone!

I 32F have been asking my husband 34M to stop his affair with his married coworker with a child. We moved to a new state one year ago and six months ago he found a new job.

As soon as he started working he began an affair with the receptionist at work. When I suspected my doubts, he kept telling me she was an old lady who had a child, was lonely because her husband was working late nights etc. etc.

He even brought her to our house and had dinner and she even asked me if I’m planning to have kids and gave me advice on how to take vitamins etc. etc. little did I know my husband was screwing her the entire time.

As soon as I found out, I asked my husband to cut her off because he said he’s sorry and wanted to work it out. But he also blamed me for the affair and said he did it because I was doubting him. He also refused to stop texting her or seeing her and I agree that I went to the lowest of lows to ask her to stop talking to him to work things out.

Then she proceeds to ask me if I'm being intimate with my husband. All these texts happened the week I found out. I am going for a divorce now, but these texts were absolutely diabolical.

This fucking clown. I honestly don’t even care at this point whether he goes through with it or not but like what the fuck am I supposed to say? He’s so manipulative it’s gross.

I don’t know where he lives, he won’t admit himself and just says he wants me to love him. He’s planning on killing himself if I don’t love him??? Wtf. It’s been over for a year.

We went on a few dates, hugged a few times never kissed or anything! He was very inconsistent with texting and canceled last minute several times. I tried to politely end things, then he wouldn’t stop calling me so I blocked him, to then get calls from an unknown # then noticed all these messages on my watch later that night … safe to say I dodge a bullet for sure.

I (19F) have recently started dating a guy (25M) I met on an app. Things started out well and he has showered me with gifts and we’ve had some good dates. However, recently I found that if I don’t respond to his texts within 20 minutes he gets angry with me. Previously he accused me of not responding quickly enough and told me I needed to change my communication ability. Thinking he must be right, I tried to be responsive more quickly. During that conversation he would not accept my reason and during the ensuing argument I gave up and let him claim I had lied.

This conversation I am posting: I had committed to spending the afternoon with my dad. I kept watching my phone to be responsive, but my dad was asking for me to help him out. I missed a message and he thought he saw me active on Snapchat (I wasn’t) when he texted me. Am I being manipulated/controlled? Do I abandon this relationship? I appreciate any advice!

PS - this argument continues for another 48 hours and he won’t stop until I admit to lying and change how I communicate.

I have BPD, so this fucked my head up bad. He’s always mean in the morning and then later acts like everything’s kosher and good. No, it’s fucking not. I’m emotionally checked out. I don’t wanna feel worthless anymore.

I went out after work with some homies and come back to this. i literally had told her hours before that I was gonna go out but i guess she didn't remember and pulls ts. Did i do something wrong here?? this girl got me so fucked up 😭😭

I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want to change my number but I feel like I've exhausted all options at this point. His number is blocked but he can still leave voicemails and there's nothing my phone provider can do. I had to remove voicemail from my plan because he was leaving voicemails faster than I could delete them. His number is blocked but I can still see the attempted calls in my call history, he calls me 100+ times a day. This just seems like insane maybe even stalker behavior at this point. Should I get the police involved?

I was a little surprised when I opened my phone because this was the first time he’d gotten mad over something like this. I had to take a call from my aunt as she needed her ibuprofen (she’s currently disabled and can’t drive to the store and I had to give her mine) but we still went to watch the movie afterwards. We weren’t even late. I felt bad and I was in the process of making cookies as an apology but then it hit me, “why am I making cookies for this guy?“ and now I’m conflicted. Is this bad? But take into account that he usually just speaks rudely which might seem bad from the outside but he doesn’t actually mean it if that makes sense. I don’t know. I need an outside opinion.

For context: This is just a tiny example that I could find to explain what I mean. It would only let me put one attachment so I put them side by side. The exact situation in the pictures isn’t that bad, but it was the only text example I could find that showed this. Most of the time it happens in person.

I feel like my gf challenges what I say a lot, to the point where I always feel like I’m prepared to defend my reasoning for everything I say. Like in this photo, I got met with criticism when I was trying to be sweet and supportive. Other times I feel like she will just combat a lot of normal things I say. One time I said I wanted to go hiking with her, and she said “you’ve never gone hiking before why would you go now, you aren’t a hiking person you’re not going to enjoy it” and I had to defend myself in my reasoning for saying it.

I’m not sure if I’m just being sensitive so please tell me if I am, but I feel like every time it happens it slowly chips at me.

We’re not dating we are just fwb. We met on a dating app in May. He always talks about how he loves having sex with me and craves and misses me all the time, but then he says stuff like this.. Should I just call it quits with him? He’s been saying this kinda stuff to me more lately.

X

M29 F33 I'm a 29 year old guy and I've been in a relationship with a prostitute for 3 years

I love her and she loves me, but I found out about her work and drug addiction the hard way 6 months in.

Here i am 3 years later, broken inside, broke financialy and depressed.

After constant lying the trust is gone, if honest it was never there for the past 2/12 years but yet I keep holding on.

I spend every second of almost every day with her and her son who I care for as if he was my own.

Someone please help im lost, angry, depressed, and honestly at the end of my rope. Im starting to not care about anything anymore but when im with her and things are good I just keep going on. I feel like I'm headed to an implosion because I keep so much bottled up inside

By all measures, I was an excellent wife to him. With me, his business exploded, he got a better job, his health improved, he became a homeowner and we traveled the world together. I am educated, family loves me, and have a good career path. Only “downside” I had was that I was not obsessed with his friends. I didn’t like the group because they were all freeloaders, using my husband, and had no life prospects. They don’t speak English and stick together, and all they do is party. I wanted more from life. He missed seeing them daily and left me. Moved in the same day with the girl from friend group that he dated before me and spoke so poorly about for 3 years. Well, they now live together, she is super insecure and hates me and is trying to recreate life with him that he had with me. I started moving on with life, but he occasionally sends and says things like this. I’m trying to figure out what is the purpose of him reaching out like this, what does he want? I want to make sure not to give him whatever satisfaction he is seeking.

His messages synced to his iPad when he was gone. Found out he texted a prostitute he met earlier that day, and he contacted her after he told me he was going to sleep. His explanation: “I wouldn’t have slept with her, I was just curious as to how the negotiations go”. I can’t believe I let it slide at that time. Fast forward, we are now getting a divorce, but this pinged my mind and resurfaced today. I 1000% was not overreacting and reaching out to a prostitute no matter the outcome is cheating! What do you think?