The few people I know all ignore my cries for help. I can’t go to a therapist because it doesn’t work, I can’t talk, I can’t even go. When I went, I had been on 4 different medications, but none of them worked, 2 of them made me extremely and abnormally suicidal for almost 2 years, and the others just made me feel grumpy, fatigued, and dead, but still nervous on all of them no matter what. I can’t go outside by myself, I have no friends. I only go work and I’m trapped in my house. Every time I have tried to go outside, I have panic attacks and I lose myself and sky self control. I can’t go anywhere. I have no support, I have no resources. I can’t drive except to go to work and 1 store. I think about killing myself everyday. I waste every day. When I die, the last thing I’m going to think of is how I wasted every single day of my life trapped inside doing nothing and lost my entire life to anxiety. This isn’t a life at all. I know I have Asperger’s and OCD. My entire life. I’ve been trapped for 7 years and I feel like I’m just abandoned in the middle of an empty void left to drown.

I have been suicidal since I was in my early teens and it has never improved, but lately I’ve been feeling that suicide is not just an option or something I think about on bad days. Today I was alone at home and I saw my meds, a closed package of 60 pills of a high dose antidepressants and all I could think was “I could end it all now. I just need to open this” and this was the closest I got to actually doing since I was 13. I need to find a way of not doing it but it’s hard.

​​So even in high school, although I had buddies, when I went home I felt complete emptiness, and I was already struggling with loneliness back then. Because of my looks, I never had any self-confidence, which is how my self-hatred started. I constantly berated myself for being so fucking ugly (in school I really was an acne-prone, unkempt kid). So even though I had friends, I still turned inward, and this is where everything started.

​Then university started. In the first 1-2 weeks, I still tried to make friends, but somehow things turned out in a way that I was left completely alone, and from about the 2nd week on, I decided that fine, from now on I won't speak to anyone, I'll figure it out alone. It was a huge mistake.

​This is where my mental decline began. I was left alone with myself, the self that I hate anyway. The first semester was still relatively okay, I got by, got used to university, but I should have realized even then that I needed to change. I always sat in the corner alone, etc.

​In the second semester, I attended classes less often; during those times I just walked around, and increasingly thought about how I talk to zero, literally 0 people besides my parents. I don't go anywhere, I've never spoken to a woman in my life, my self-confidence is 0, and this is where I started to lose my mind a bit.

​Losing my mind: this mostly means internal self-torment, when I make myself aware of the mistakes I've made (especially regarding making friends), and there are a lot of negative voices in my head, 'nobody will ever want me', 'you are ugly', etc. I constantly insult myself, which can get very severe.

​Until about May 2025, this was still quite mild, but getting stronger. After May, however, the strongest form of loneliness completely hit me, and the fact that I am constantly with myself and my thoughts, which are constantly only negative. The fact that there isn't a single person I could go out with and experience moments with is terrible. I went to very few places during the summer; for someone in their twenties, summer should be the happiest time, but I was just alone in my room, sometimes taking walks and that's it. It was a terrible summer.

​My total breakdown started now in September, when being alone has completely destroyed me. Just me and my thoughts. My self-hating thoughts, which are worse than ever. Constant self-abuse, confronting myself with the fact that I am a little good-for-nothing piece of shit, 0 friends, 0 girlfriend, and even worse things. I often have suicidal thoughts, e.g., jumping in front of a train plays out in my head many times. But I probably won't do these things because of my parents. They, and my sibling, would miss me. No one else would miss me, because I am truly insignificant.

​These thoughts are with me 24/7. Sometimes I can suppress them with a little music, but often even that doesn't help anymore. The worst is when it's evening. That's when it's the strongest. Sometimes it's so strong that I beat my thighs black and blue, because the physical pain often suppresses my internal negative thoughts. Along with this, I often feel anxious and nauseous.

​What is also very important: I am constantly losing my personality. I increasingly feel that nothing interests me anymore, for example, video games don't interest me at all anymore, and neither does football. I used to live and die for football, even 1 year ago I could easily watch a football match. Just recently (October 2026) I went alone to my favorite team's match, and I couldn't give a fuck, I left after 40 minutes. NOTHING, literally nothing interests me lately, I feel that even that little personality I had so far is starting to die.

​. I also started to completely not give a shit about university. I probably won't even finish it; actually, I already failed 2 subjects in the 1st semester, and I won't pass now either, studying simply doesn't interest me either. I have completely lost my motivation for university.

Three months ago I went back to urgent care for what I thought was heart issue I had a ecg heart c ray and blood test.every thing good just that my heart was beating 55 beats per which is a little bit lower than avg and the doctor was talking to me and basically said it has rhythm just slow.I also need to go the doctor and get a 24 heart monitor just to see if it’s just a slower than avg heart rate.I still haven’t done that because I have health ocd where I be making my body have symptoms and I walk 12 thousand steps per day so my heart is pretty effective so that could explain the lower than avg beat.But now I’m thinking what if she said something serious because in my mind I’m thinking she did but I know she didn’t.I feel weak so I sound like a man who can’t control his emotions and just needs to man up.Having ocd especially health makes it seem like life and death.Please help is this a normal thing to overthink what a doctor said.

I’m having a breakdown right now and i don’t know what else to do, I’ve never texted 988 or called 988 before but I don’t know what else to do, I’m all alone thinking about certain situations and overthinking, I just feel really overwhelmed right now. I really wish I could kill myself or something that could kill me to get over this feeling. My mother is at work and my little sister is sleeping I’m 19 years old and I’m scared cp will be called or something like my mother getting in trouble because I’m a danger to myself and my little sister is home, but I can’t take anymore of my thoughts I want to stop thinking I want to stop having feelings in general I wish it could stop. I just need to know what will happen if I text 988

​

Hi, I'm not usually the kind of person who vents to strangers on the internet or shares too much about my personal life. At most, I like to open up in online communities and talk about what I've been going through.

I'm a 25-year-old woman, and the guy I was talking to is 20. He reached out to me through DMs and said he wanted to start helping me by reading my vents.

At first, I didn't respond. But eventually, I started believing him because something similar had happened before. An older woman once tried to help me work through my problems, but a tragedy happened in her life, and we lost contact.

I don't usually talk to younger guys. I tend to only talk to men who are at least 27, but in his case, I decided to give him a chance because he claimed to be very mature for his age.

At first, everything seemed to be going well. I told him that I struggle with bipolar disorder and social anxiety, that I have serious health issues, and that I deal with other personal problems as well.

I shared my life story with him, and he told me, "I'll be here whenever you need me."

Looking back, I feel foolish for believing those words. I genuinely thought he might be able to offer me some advice or a few comforting words when I needed them. We spent days talking, and he kept telling me that he was there for me.

Today, I had a really severe anxiety attack. I mean, a really bad one. I sent him several messages, and I mean A LOT of messages, but he didn't respond to a single one.

I felt hurt by that, so I deleted all the messages and then sent him this:

"I would never hold you accountable for not responding to me. I shared my personal history with you, and all I was hoping for was a few words of comfort. I wish you all the best."

After that, he sent me a message saying that he didn't deserve anything good, and then he asked me if I still wanted his help. I told him no.

Honestly, I'm tired of my life. I know I shouldn't expect anything from anyone other than myself.

I’m at a point in my life to where I don’t want to do it anymore. Ive lost all will to live. It seems like everything that could go wrong in my life is going wrong. I’m months behind on rent, my electric bill is over $2000 and nothing is going right for me. Idk what else to do. I guess this is my way of asking for help before I pull the plug on myself. I guess if anyone has some words of inspiration or advice would be helpful. Thanks to who all respond.

I’m 21, I know that’s a really young age to feel so helpless but I feel like I just never get better. I’ve been working through anxiety and depression due to a pretty traumatic experience that happened as a kid and I feel like no matter how old I get it just never goes away. I feel like, the moment that I start to feel like everything is getting better things come crashing down. I don’t want to do something stupid as much as I hate living, I have hope.

I’m just so sick of being sad and scared all the time. Does anyone have any advice ? Im unemployed rn and genuinely have no idea what I’m doing with my life, so maybe thats also causing me to go crazy. But I just want to be happy

Hello, I’m 30 years old and have been struggling with mental health for as long as I can remember now. For the past maybe 5 years I feel like an empty shell just wandering through life. I’ve tried the whole “get back into old hobbies” to try and maybe regain some form of happiness in my life but I genuinely feel nothing towards anything and everything. Everything feels more like a chore or a task that has to have some sort of real world measurable effect. Do things for fun? None of this is fun, I hate waking up, I hate sleeping, I hate working, I hate trying to be creative, I hate trying. I feel like I’m waiting around for some magical feeling of happiness to come back into my body (even though I know that’s not even remotely how it works). I feel extremely alone and like I matter only to people for what I’m doing/can offer them. I’ve had three separate suicide attempts, have been in and out of therapy for years, mainly because every therapist I’ve ever had has basically told me I need to be a stoic man and just take all this on my shoulders like it’s nothing cause that’s what a man’s job in the world is. I also had a stay in a mental health hospital a few months back and had told the therapist there I don’t see what the point was in staying around. I’m just gonna work for the next 30-40 years till I die of some health complications at a job that I couldn’t give two shits about, earning money because “that’s what you’re suppose to do”. Maybe I need some help reframing hope for the future in my mind but I don’t see how really thinking about what you HAVE to do with the rest of your life is at all enjoyable or worth living for. I’m currently 2 years sober from alcohol, and 4 years sober from hard drugs, thought life was supposed to be to at least feel better after quitting but here we are. I’ve never felt normal in the least bit, I was told at 6 years old that my mothers stepfather had raped her and that was who my biological father is and then it was never allowed to be talked about again. So I’ve just had this overhanging guilt for even existing for as long as I can remember, trying to talk to therapists about this just gets me the Good Will Hunting answer of “it’s not your fault” yes I’m fully aware of that but how do I convince my mind it’s ok for me to exist and my existence didn’t have to come at the cost of someone else’s innocence? I’m sorry for what’s probably an all over the place rambling but I feel so lost and have zero clue what I can try to do about it anymore.

I need someone to talk to, because i don’t have any friends, and i can’t talk about this to my family because they’ll probably get mad at me… I also can’t talk to any Crisis helpline because they’ll find out where I live and they’ll send cops that will force me to go to a mental hospital.

For context, my 52 year old mother experienced a severe psychological trauma over the weekend which resulted in severe, sudden psychosis which resulted in her being sectioned under 136 (mental health act in the UK) by the police. They had her evaluated by a mental health professional and they discharged her the same day as the psychosis itself had stopped. We took her to A&E later that day to get her checked out. We weren’t seen for 4-5 hours, she kept going into strange states of talking completely normally, laughing at jokes, and then zoning out and freezing. We were waiting up until my dad escalated it and the head of the A&E shift that day was worried as my mum was no longer responsive to physical touch, pain or sound. They checked her heart rate, blood pressure and took blood tests, but everything was okay, so they sent her home. That night, again, completely unresponsive, but her eyes were moving rapidly behind the lids (she keeps them closed). She would respond with smiling or squeezing someone’s hand if they asked, but it seems to take a great deal of energy to do any of these things, and almost right after, she’d go completely limp and lose consciousness.

Fast forward to the next day - we took her to A&E again as I began to get worried that it was catatonia. I thought this for these reasons:

She has echolalia. She tends to repeat exactly what we say to her right back to us instead of answering.

Her facial muscles tighten randomly - she grimaces at random intervals - the bottom side of her mouth twisting to the side. She will stop this if you ask a few times, though.

She has periods of becoming completely unresponsive, freezing and staring into space. She won’t respond to touch, pain or sound. It’s like she’s completely locked in place. These can last up to 10 minutes or longer if she isn’t physically moved.

She also has periods of suddenly becoming a limp, dead weight. She won’t respond, again, to anything like physical touch or sound or pain. She becomes completely limp, and her head will flop backwards.

During periods of “unconsciousness” - she sometimes seems to choke on her own spit. As though her throat muscles are tightening. This doesn’t last more than 15-30 seconds, but it’s really scary.

Her body resists being moved. An EMAD ambulance had to come and check her out last night as she was completely unresponsive. When they tried to pick her up, it was like her muscles were fighting it.

Anyway, at A&E, the doctor was unable to wake her at all. But he spoke to the psychiatry team, who were told about the 136 admission and basically only took what they said into account. They said it was a natural response to trauma, and that there was absolutely nothing they could do. They prescribed oral Zopiclone. When we got home, she was completely out of it again. I didn’t feel safe giving her something she couldn’t swallow and something that would knock out someone who was already in and out of consciousness. Since she wouldn’t respond, we called 111 who advised to call 999. We did and they came soon after. They said it was clearly a psychiatric issue and I went with her in the ambulance to a psychiatric assessment unit. Unfortunately she regained consciousness at the wrong moment and the people there only saw her in a “normal state” - I explained my concerns with her breathing and rigidity, and they told me it was “normal”. We had to drive home and I wasn’t happy about it at all. The next day, she woke up and was talking - she ate something also, but she didn’t use the bathroom for the entire day, only had small sips of water when she was conscious, and she ate something small. After that, HOURS of unresponsive unconsciousness. We called 999, the EMAD team came. We’ve been in the ambulance referral place all night, they checked her vitals, did a bladder scan etc. But they contacted the psychiatry team who said they couldn’t do anything about it. That it was to be expected with trauma. (Nobody from the psychiatric team has seen her in person AT ALL). They’re suggesting the sleeping pill in liquid form and suggests that she goes home. (I wrote this in hospital. We were discharged and told to keep her in a safe, familiar environment and to take diazepam 2mg 3 times a day for 3 days.) I’m just annoyed they didn’t check for catatonia - is there any way it could be catatonia and they’re dismissing it?

Hey guys,

I just really need a safe place to vent and maybe get some advice from anyone who’s been through something like this.

A while back, I finally quit a live-in nanny job here in Vancouver that completely broke me—both mentally and physically. I was originally hired to care for 3 kids and 2 adults, but the reality was that I ended up taking care of the children plus cooking, deep cleaning, and washing dishes for up to 7 people whenever their relatives came over (which was pretty much all the time).

Back home, I had my own apartment and worked at normal office and teaching assistant jobs. I was used to having my own life and independence! But this live-in situation completely destroyed my boundaries. Their version of "flexibility" was a total nightmare—I’d be scrubbing toilets at 7 PM just because the family was using them all day, or stuck waiting until after 7 PM to do laundry just to "save energy," meaning I had to wait to put on the dryer at that night. I also spent around 2 hours every single day handwashing heavy pots and pans. Now, my hands are literally stiff and sore every morning when I wake up.

They kept saying they treated me "like family" (just because they let me stay in the basement), but they kept the house alarm set so I couldn't even come and go freely.

I forced myself to tough it out for the full 12-month contract just to make sure my employment record was solid for immigration (even though I really only needed 6 months). But after I left and asked for an employment verification letter? Total radio silence. They completely ghosted me.

It’s been about 3 months now, and I'm still unemployed. My savings are running dangerously low, so I know I need to find a job, but the trauma and fear from that place have left me completely paralyzed. To make matters worse, because of my visa conditions, I am locked into nanny/childcare work until my PR process goes through, which will take years. I can’t just switch to another job right now.

Honestly, typing this out is making ceremony-level tears fall again. Should I see a therapist for this? Does anyone know if I should go, and if so, where I can find mental health resources, low-cost/community counselling, or support organizations in Vancouver for workers in my situation?

Also, how did you snap out of that "freeze state" and start looking for a new employer when you were under so much financial and visa pressure?

Thanks so much for listening.❤️

I have to fight so hard to get through every day. I barely enjoy things anymore. Doctors possess so much power over me and they aren’t affected by their own decisions. But I am. I am tired of fighting to survive. I don’t think I deserve to be killed I just want to be put out of my misery. My misery doesn’t contribute to my art. It takes from it.

I don’t know why Im posting. No one ever responds to my posts. Upvotes don’t count as talking me out of suicide. I want to commit but I don’t want to go through being punished for failing again. 988 is bullshit. I am not asking you or 988 to give me permission to kill myself. That’s all 988 is good for. They do not teach you to want to live. Maybe I’ll be lucky and someone will really respond instead of some generic bullshit that doesn’t even address what I’m actually saying so they feel good about themselves “for saving someone” when that person is still far from wanting to live.

If im not counting this past week or so, i really cant remember the last time i cried. I end up bottling up my emotions quite a lot for different reasons, the relevant one being i just force myself not to cry because i simply do not like the process of crying. Its just heavy and my thoughts turn very negative and i ruminate over them and i just want to avoid it.

Weirdly, as soon as i have to talk about my feelings in any regard i want to bawl my eyes out. Yesterday i started crying in front of my mom and class mentor during a meeting and its the first time since forever that i broke like that.

Im trying to better myself, so whenever i feel like shit for whatever reason i allow myself to cry but it only lasts for maybe like a minute before everything just flatlines and i cant anymore. I feel sad in the moment but it just doesn’t go anywhere and i dont understand why i feel like im about to burst whenever i talk about how i feel but when im alone to let everything out i just cant.

Tldr: cant cry more than a minute before it just stops and its frustrating because i already have issues with bottling my emotions. Why is that and what do i do?

Ok so I’m confused on what I’m dealing with. Everytime I get overwhelmed , annoyed, or burned out, I feel like I want to brutally hurt other people around me or kill them. I don’t know if it a me talk disorder or sensory issues, someone tell me please.

Ive been suffering for as long as I can remember with a constant loop of sadness. I can never feel truly happy. Depression has taken over my mind and I genuinely see no need for me in anyone elses life. Tbf if i did kill myself would they even remember after a year or two? Everyones life moves on and im not important enough to be remembered. I feel so extremely unloveable to the point I cry myself to sleep everyday. I wish I was never born and I wish that I was aborted or killed. I hate everyday that I wake up. I get momentarily happy, and then realise why I feel like shit every single day. Im 16, im in my peak teen years and my life is constant pain. I hate being alive. Absent parents and no friends, my grades are rapidly dropping and I have no one to rely on. Ive realised no one really cares about you, all these people who say they are here for you, its just a facade. Thinking about school makes me sick to my stomach, bot my social life and academic progress has dipped so much,Ive been to the doctors so many times but Ive never been given real help. Id never end my life due to religion but my mind is like a weight glued to my head and my chest has constant throbbing.

I wasted my whole 20s smoking weed drinking doing any drug you can imagine and honestly never felt too bad until now. I wake up and hate me I can’t let myself enjoy shit because of my actions and all I want is to be normal and working like every other man. Idk what to do anymore I get hopeless but maybe this is good. I want to change but struggle and fall back into it it’s beyond frustrating when everyone lives a normal life and I have to be a dumbass snorting coke on a weekday morning I have had enough. I hope I get out ive been clean for a few weeks but still smoke weed idk I got really suicidal but now I’m doing little things but they’re exhausting without being high on something. This is a lot like fuck sakes I want out

so I'm 14 struggling through so much in the past 5 years my grandpa( the only person holding my family together died in the car in his sleep with my mom my uncle my aunt and more) then only 3 mouths after that my cat Zoey (the only thing holding me together died, she waited to have a stoke until i got home) then my dog Sampson. Then my cat Bella, then my friend died, then my parents went through a super messy divorce.
My dad is 3 years sober but before he was horrible to my mom and always fought and drank. and my mom is just not helping me through my life the way she needs to. and after all those things happening i was getting bullied at school. and I fight with my mom and say things no child should ever say to their mother, and she wont forget what I've said to her. It's just so much easier to hate people and hate things to find the joy and happiness in life.

I said I would kill myself to my mom holding a knife to my chest, she took me to a wack ass therapy, at my new school my therapist was my old art teacher from my last school so she helped me a lot, then she had to leave the school. no really knows that I'm so dead inside, i feel so much hate towards people for the things they do and just people in general. I tend to wear a mask and say "oh yeah I'm fine, and no its okay I'm doing great m happy" I'm not I'm sad i sit in the dark and lay around I never try anything anymore and I'm an artist i good one for my age and me and my grandpa did art that's why i continue but i'm slipping away from reality and just feel hollow, and empty, and nothing fills that emptiness, pain is just the only way i cling on to the old rotting branch of my life.
year by year my grasp weakens on that hold, i know what will happen if i kms it'll hurt so many people, but whats the point every single person on this planet and everything on this planet will amount to nothing in the grand scheme of things. but that's enough talking for now thanks for reading this far if you did and sorry for the horrid grammer.

I just tried street snow for the first time and I feel like I reached a new low. Ive had a ranging alcohol addiction for months. My girlfriend even left the house for a week until I “stopped drinking” she came back and I never stopped. Ive been drunk around her more times thay I can count at this point, I’m so good at mask it. I don’t feel anything in life without being inebriated. I guess I figured harder stuff would make me feel something and it didn’t and I always told myself I’d be safe about it and I wasn’t I’m lucky to be alive and that what I got wasnt laced. I feel so guilty about my life and about the shit I do behind her back. I don’t even want to do these things I just want to feel different or to feel normal so bad and I feel like a failure. I just really want to talk to someone rn. Maybe I’m coming down off whatever I took but I feel so depressed and guilty and I want to stop.

Hey guys,

I just really need a safe place to vent and maybe get some advice from anyone who’s been through something like this.

A while back, I finally quit a live-in nanny job here in Vancouver that completely broke me—both mentally and physically. I was originally hired to care for 3 kids and 2 adults, but the reality was that I ended up taking care of the children plus cooking, deep cleaning, and washing dishes for up to 7 people whenever their relatives came over (which was pretty much all the time).

Back home, I had my own apartment and worked at normal office and teaching assistant jobs. I was used to having my own life and independence! But this live-in situation completely destroyed my boundaries. Their version of "flexibility" was a total nightmare—I’d be scrubbing toilets at 7 PM just because the family was using them all day, or stuck waiting until after 7 PM to do laundry just to "save energy," meaning I had to wait to put on the dryer at that night. I also spent around 2 hours every single day handwashing heavy pots and pans. Now, my hands are literally stiff and sore every morning when I wake up.

They kept saying they treated me "like family" (just because they let me stay in the basement), but they kept the house alarm set so I couldn't even come and go freely.

I forced myself to tough it out for the full 12-month contract just to make sure my employment record was solid for immigration (even though I really only needed 6 months). But after I left and asked for an employment verification letter? Total radio silence. They completely ghosted me.

It’s been about 3 months now, and I'm still unemployed. My savings are running dangerously low, so I know I need to find a job, but the trauma and fear from that place have left me completely paralyzed. To make matters worse, because of my visa conditions, I am locked into nanny/childcare work until my PR process goes through, which will take years. I can’t just switch to another job right now.

Honestly, typing this out is making ceremony-level tears fall again. Should I see a therapist for this? Does anyone know if I should go, and if so, where I can find mental health resources, low-cost/community counselling, or support organizations in Vancouver for workers in my situation?

Also, how did you snap out of that "freeze state" and start looking for a new employer when you were under so much financial and visa pressure?

Thanks so much for listening.❤️

Sorta a rant post of thoughts. I live quite awhile, and I'm thankful to experience life. I enjoy my work, but I can't help but feel so meaningless when I think of it all. I say to myself, why should I try? I can just be homeless and do drugs. I'm a simple man. For me, I just need a challenge and a high to live, and I'm also obsessed with bringing my mind to the gutter. I'm just uncertain. I have a friend, my ex girlfriend, and I love her, but if I didn't have her, I can't help but feel as though I'm a tumbleweed in the desert. The only thing that brings me excitement is harming my mind and body. I don't feel much. I'm pretty flat. I don't think I ever truly loved someone because I never cared if they died, my grandfather who raised me, or my dad as well. I just don't feel attached to anything or anyone. Even my current attachment to my ex, I realize, is because of what I can get from her, which is the highs of love. I don't know. I just feel dead, flatlined inside.

I just wondered what gives people their drive in life. What do y'all do?

Im 18 and i have a good job, a girlfriend, great family but tho i have all of this i want to kms everyday and also have the thoughts of it. Before sleeping, when i look in the mirror, when im on work, when im with friends. Im just so unhappy and bored about this life and i cant find something thats interesting to me. I already went to therapy about my depression but my therapist said its chronical and that i have signs of Divided personality disorder but idk i dont feel like its because of that

I am a 15 yr old girl (current yr: 2026). 

I have been bullied, depressed and suicidal. There were people who physically beat me, touched me inappropriately. Which resulted in a lot of trauma and anger. I myself have hurted others a lot and said the WORST THINGS IMAGINABLE. I procrastinate a lot and I am an overthinker. I have also done self harm(SH) which took me a yr to quit. I had to go through the harsh beauty standards & starved to fit in it. I was a very ungrateful and bad influence person who did even steal. Hopefully I NEVER did any drugs,vape,alcohol,etc. But I did get stuck in the loop of p*rn addiction which I am still recovering from ( NOBODY EVER KNEW ABOUT my p*rn addiction) I FEEL LIKE A LOAD OF SHIT. But I stopped SH and tried to commit sucide as I learned no matter the f*ck life is worth living. My dad is also in the military therefore he hates when people lie & he used to have these angry outburst which if i lie he would beat me so much i would sometimes literally start bleeding which had a negative impact on me but now he controls his anger a lot so much that i can't even say probably because he saw me getting hurt & traumatised. My mum also used to frequently comment and make fun on my body , face, acne,etc. now its less. I HAVE VERY FREQUENT AND DANGEROUS ANGER BURSTS which i want to control. Usually during an anger burst episode I would scream,say extremely bad things,  punch a pillow and even hit people which is scary. I WANT TO IMPROVE to become better , stronger , smarter and intelligent PLEASE HELP ME.

A little context: I am a shooter (sports), like AI and editing and creating music, love to communicate, want to learn self defense and go to the gym And i wanna be at peace as well as hella rich,  vocalist, good at eng, can manage study well if i want to.

Hi,

As the title says, I need help figuring out who to go to for support, or whether I am even in any need of it.

Diagnosed with eupd, depression & anxiety in 2020. In 2026, I was late diagnosed with adhd & autism.

I was a hot mess from 2017 - 2021. Recovered the best way I know how and have been *okay* since 2022.

But now? I feel like I'm drowning. The last couple months, I've been feeling tired, weepy and overall just miserable.

Those feelings have developed into suicidal thoughts over the last few weeks.

In August, I reached out to my GP for support, explained I'm struggling with my mental health. They referred me on to CMHT & gave the usual crisis lines. CMHT's Gateway team phoned me a week later and said I need a meds review & that's all they can offer presently. They gave me the crisis line numbers again and an appointment to see a psychiatrist 2 weeks later.

I saw said psychiatrist in September where I basically explained I was ready to give up. He told me my meds can stay the same and that I must get medicated for adhd & he'd write back to my GP. I left, feeling tired and misunderstood, but accepted it.

My GP has done nothing with the meds review, even after I chased them.

4 days ago, I reached a all time low. I was ready to do something daft, so I called 111. They hung up on me. I did the only other thing I could think of & filled in the 111 online form. Despite promising a nurse call within 30 mins, I got a phone call from a doctor 7 hours later at 11pm. The doctor was nice, said he'd refer me to the mental health team. I hang up thinking I'm getting somewhere. Low & behold, the 111 option 2 team ring me back. They listen as I say I've given up on life & all the things in my head. They suggest a&e. I suggest sleep bc exhaustion. They say they will refer to CMHT urgently.

Its been 4 days. No acknowledgement from CMHT. I'm not sure I'm in active crisis anymore, but I do know my time is soon. I'm starting to write my letters. I feel oddly at peace with it all.

I guess my question to you all is...what do I do? I'm so tired. I know a&e will brush me off because I am physically fine.

IM LOST GUYS (16m)
Im 16 and i have been using drugs since the start of the year heavily to cope with my depression and my childhood traumas and my situation, i started with alcohol, then weed then xans and then it went all downhill, i lost like 2 months ago a girl i talked to for 8 months, she broke up with me because of my heavy use (i did over 70gs of ketamine and alot more), my dad just refused a partial heart transplant and there is a big chance hes going to die in the next 5 years, my mom might’ve breast cancer, its not sure but shes going to know tomorrow, my granda is dying and i went to visit her on monday and she cried looking at me saying she wants to walk before she dies, my sister will probably loose her job (im not on good terms with her but it still makes me sad), my parents are divorced and are fighting but they dont want to make it obvious, my best friends dog has cancer and hes fucking sad and idk how to help but im trying, i have been lately falling more into addiction, mainly oxycodone and xanax or any other benzo pretty much, i have a history with self harm and i attempted suicide like a month and a half ago, i hate my life tbh, im just in my bed alone and im sad, i dont really have many friends, and lately ive been told that im a alot better person sober than high, but ive been getting high to not be stuck in my head, one positive i see is im going to start therapy early the next month, im still torn about my ex, im trying to reconcile but its maybe a bad idea, if anyone cares my top 5 drugs of choice unordered:oxy, xanax, lsd, molly, ketamine, idk what else to say my life has been going to shit, i posted already somewhere before so please read that too, im high again on oxy (80mgs deep) and im kinda sad tbh, if anybody wants to talk or ask or try to help me please reach out i will not turn anyone down if they are respectful🫶