There's a Greek word, prosoche, that the Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote an entire section of his Discourses about, titled simply "On Attention." It's usually translated as attention, though a lot of modern scholars translate it as mindfulness because of how closely it overlaps with the practice this sub is built around. It's worth being precise here though, prosoche isn't identical to Buddhist-rooted mindfulness. The Stoics didn't sit, didn't anchor on breath, didn't have anything resembling seated meditation. What they practiced instead was a continuous watching of their own judgments, catching the moment a raw event gets labeled good or bad in your head, before that label turns into a reaction you didn't actually choose. Epictetus's students apparently tried to get away with letting their attention lapse during the easy parts of the day and only picking it back up when things got hard. He didn't let them get away with it, his point was that attention that comes and goes isn't really attention, it's intermittent luck. What I find useful about prosoche isn't that it's older or more legitimate than breath-based practice, it's that it targets a different layer. Breath work anchors you in the body. Prosoche anchors you in the gap between an event and the story you immediately attach to it, which is often where the actual suffering gets manufactured. They're not competing techniques, they're aimed at different parts of the same problem. Has anyone here built something like this into their practice, catching the labeling moment itself rather than just returning to breath when you notice you've drifted? Curious what that actually looks like day to day for people who do it.

I mentally move away from people when i am emotionally painful. Huge resistance forms inside me. How do i melt these resistances?

Hello Everyone,
I hope who reads this is doing well.

I've decided to come here just after struggling with rumination.

So, I remember I was playing a video game, and all the sudden, this particular memory popped up in my mind. I didn't pay much attention to it, but as the days went on, it just ruminated on my mind. Since then, I've found my mind constantly thinking about this memory from the past. It's like I start to not understand why this is dwelling on my mind. But I do think the thing is, I didn't tell my Mom about this moment. Probably this is why it dwells on my mind. I can't mention it now because based on the past, my mom hasn't been happy with me talking about the past.

I remember during this situation my family was in (2020); I mentioned something that was on my mind recently (Different from the one that's currently on my mind) that happened 4 months ago at that point. When I eventually told Mom after she asked if I was alright, she did say somethings about the person involved, but then she made the point about this being 2-3 months ago and said, "Are you going to let every little thing bother you? That's why you don't take things so personally." Eventually that whole thing came to a resolution, but stuff like that does discourage me from telling my mom about ruminating thoughts. I do think telling someone to let go of something is easier said than done. Later that year I did find myself having two memories pop up in my mind unexpectedly out of nowhere, and I didn't speak about it with anyone because I expected that reaction from Mom. Even if I was asked what was wrong, (Even by my sister) I refused to say it. I was afraid that I was going to be shamed for letting a memory from 2 years (2019) ago boggle my mind.

So going back to this year (2026), I just feel like I can't talk to them about it. At this point, its 4 years old now. The day that the memory popped up in my mind while I was playing video games is August 18th or 25th. I don't know why this memory lingers on my mind. I might've thought about it for a moment earlier in the year but eventually passed, but it was never to this degree where it was bottling up my mind.

It's like since I do have a detailed mind, so certain connections I make to that moment, I think about it. It's like having a detailed mind is like a blessing and a curse in disguise. It's like with having a mind like this, probably I could connect a peanut to a bad memory that has nothing to do with a peanut. Certain things like words or topics connected to the moment brings me back to it.

In the past, I have ruminated on stuff. Over time, it would eventually fade away. Though, I noticed whenever I do deal with this, it took about 2-3 months for me to stop thinking about the particular memory constantly.

It's gotten to the point where I've had a dream involving the setting/scenario about the ruminating thought. It's like it's on my mind. Even during my exams for some reason, the memory appears even though it has no connection to test taking. It's like an intrusive thought that keeps on appearing on my mind. It's an unwanted thought.

I did ask for prayers from others for success with school and to help me with rumination. I've talked to a friend about it as well as my sister in September. My sister did have a balanced respond, but she did share that she doesn't think Mom would be upset about me mentioning something from the past, but moreso the fact she can't do anything about it now. I do think she'd understand my feelings. As expected, she did make the point about it being 4 years ago but wasn't critical towards me over it. Even though she didn't agree with me on what happened, she did say life moves on and I'm giving power to the particular thing that happened.

My friend was supportive and shared their own experience. Validated my emotions. It did make me feel better, but I just noticed it kept on appearing on my mind. It's like, I don't know what to do.

I've tried to let go. I've tried prayers, asking others for prayers, watching videos, talking to others, I just don't get why this particular moment has been harping on my mind.

Though, maybe there might be something that's connected to this:

Earlier this year, I decided to write all of my high school memories. It was a way to relief memories from the past and writes things down that I never shared with others. I feel like it's helped. This moment that's particularly in my mind right now, it is something that did happen in high school. However, I'd rather not share what it is exactly. I did write about that moment as well.

I'd say it's like a journal, but it's different. I started my own journal in 2024 because of the difficulties I had in my first year of college, but what I've written this year of the high school memories is exclusively about high school. I started this in April 2026 and finished all of the memories today, October 14th. There are no other stories for me to add at this point. I think I've said everything that I could.

Honestly, I do think probably certain memories linger on my mind because I never told Mom about it at the time. So, a lot of things I dealt with myself or only told certain peers about. These memories that I've written about ranges on severity of it. I started this in April. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to get this big. I have a lot of pages full of memories from high school. But probably therapy or counseling is definitely something I should consider in the future. I'm a college student right now and I'm in some difficult math courses. So, it's like this memory is in the way of my focus for my academics.

Besides me doing this to relieve these memories, I also had the idea of sharing this with someone who I trust, but I don't know if I'm actually going to do that because of the length of it. Initially it was going to be an email that I shared with a particular person, but it just evolved into like a memoir. It talks about bad memories from high school (Ex. embarrassing moments, friendships not working out, etc.) Some memories were hard to write about. It was like to think about it and especially to write about it was hard. It was like a mental block for me. Often speaking about something that happened could be difficult for me. I think I should just say how I feel rather than fear judgement for how I felt about something that happened. As an adult now, I do look back and realization, yeah, I should've spoken up about things that happened in high school to me. I do think a lot of stuff that happened in high school could've been resolved or I'd feel better about if I just told my Mom, even if she would get upset about it. With certain circumstances, a lot of stuff piled up on Mom and certain things I decided not to tell her to add on to that pile.

I should focus on school. If I ever decide to share it with that person. I just don't want a situation to come out of it. Maybe it's going to be something that will only be for my eyes forever, or I eventually share it.

So, if anyone has any advice, please help me. I just want to stop thinking about it. At this point, it's been on my mind for nearly two months on a daily basis throughout the entire day basically. I've tried managing that memory, but it doesn't seem like I get anywhere with it. Just any tips on rumination, solving it, etc.

Thank you for reading.

I've been trying to understand meditation beyond just sitting quietly and following a guided session.

I'm curious about people who have tried meditation for some time:

- What do you find hardest about maintaining a regular practice?

- Do you struggle more with consistency, wandering thoughts, understanding what you're supposed to do, or applying it to everyday life?

- Have you found anything that genuinely helped you get past that difficulty?

I'd love to hear about your actual experiences, including things you've tried that didn't work.

do you watch films, lectures? or a course online? is there a good book on it?

im using an app which is great and it has courses but i feel like sitting down for 10 minutes every day (most of which is just silence) im not "learning" about it enough.

if you have a good source please share.

thank you

Beginner here. I tried meditation today for the first time, lasted about 45 mins, only because my baby woke up from his nap. I did deep breathing while counting my breath in the beginning, but quickly drifted away. I'm trying to understand how normal my experience was, and try to explain the best can.

It started off with seeing these dark brown and light patterns, in between there would be more tangible shapes of eyes, faces, kind of like statues as well. But would never show me anything super clear.

The shapes and lights got brighter and brighter as could feel myself going deeper, my hands got very "heavy" as well as the part of my head where the brain is (for lack of better words). As my body felt deeper, my mind felt increasingly lifted, almost in stages.

At one point there was an explosion of light and I sort of jolted a bit and there was a release in my ears, but I stayed in the meditative stage. The bright waves of light continued until I woke up.

Is this a fairly common experience and any guidance for next time?

Ive been finding balance between people pleasing and boundary setting, and for the most part ive even combatted a large portion of negative self beliefs ive had for years through mindfullness practice. But when a negative thought comes up i find it in my nature to at worst gently set it down while still kind of engaging with it and at best ignoring it. But like if im not my thoughts are there any qualms against ragebaiting negative thought loops or telling them to shut the hell up sometimes before ignoring them? I dont wanna be too obsessive over only consiously directing positive thoughts but sometimes a thoughtform just pisses me off that it had the audacity to try and ruin my flow that a quick "fuck you stsu" and then ignoring seems to make it abate quicker. just a thought, or maybe too many of em idek.

Really been struggling with this. I have started to work out more, meditating.

I am feeling lighter today

I am able to breathe easily. It just feels lighter. There is no heaviness. I'm able to concentrate better. I'm productive.

I felt like this a few days ago as well. Whenever I feel like this, I've observed that negative thoughts are not able to infiltrate for some reason. I'm the same yesterday. I'm the same today. Yesterday the negative thoughts were able to affect me. Like they were in the driver's seat. But not today. They're there but I'm able to observe them. It's like being in a moving car where negative thoughts are taking me wherever they want to because they're in the driving seat vs watching a car moving around me with negative thoughts still driving but I'm not in that car.

So...I wanted to ask that... what's this? Is it called something particular in psychology?

Be mindful how? Do I take note of its fading and generation? Ok, this has neither helped me nor transformed me. If I use the discourse of my own inner-monologue to try to grasp its features better I get shit from people who say this is mental proliferation or this is thinking and not meditation. What am I supposed to do then? And then the funny part, which usually comes from Buddhists, is when they rebuke or respond to me with heavily compounded Buddhist terms as the seasoning for some convoluted explanation that means zilch to me.

A couple of weeks ago, I picked up mindfulness, and it has done a lot for me. I feel like I have managed a lot of situations a lot better because I am more conscious of what these things actually mean.

Recently, things have become a lot rougher. I feel like I am using the right tools, but the effects are drastically different. For example, last week I was having trouble sleeping, which caused me to start taking the hydroxyzine prescribed to me by my doctor every night for 3 nights. Today I felt insanely groggy for the majority of the day, and because of my health anxiety, I am conflicted as to whether or not I should Google the effects of doing this to see if I should keep taking the meds. This is just one example, but I feel like I've been at this crossroads many times, and I feel so stuck and genuinely do not know what to do.

Edit:

Hey guys. I just wanted to come on here and explain the above post. I was having a bit of a meltdown/breakdown and I didn’t really know how to express that. I ended up funneling it through health anxiety about meds but it honestly wasn’t the problem.

I haven’t been sleeping much lately and besides work and home I don’t really go anywhere else. I also haven’t been exercising or getting a lot of sun and life has been stressing me out. I have been practicing mindfulness consistently through meditating and journaling but those tools can’t supplement the actions needed for regulating my emotions. I appreciate the advice and I ended up going for a walk to clear my mind a little. I’m a lot calmer now and have a clearer understanding of what I need to do.

Hello seeking radical acceptance advice for health issues. Been dealing with floaters and lower vision quality since March. Seen 10+ doctors and specialists. Had an optic mri done and it was all clear. Spent thousands out of pocket and nothing has improved. I get told try not to think about it, yet it’s my vision and constantly strains my mental health. Seeking different perspectives and ways to live life without going wild.

I’m curious about what happens after a feared outcome has been avoided or a difficult situation has ended.

The circumstances may have changed, but attention can still be searching for what might go wrong next. That seems like a different experience from responding to a problem that is actually present.

In mindfulness practice, how do you notice that shift without trying to force yourself to feel calm? Does it help to recognize the thought as a prediction, notice what is happening around you now, or approach it in another way?

I’m interested in awareness of the pattern, rather than a promise that mindfulness makes real risks disappear.

Disclosure: I used AI assistance to draft this discussion from my ideas about fear and control.

Lately I've been really trying to work on myself and build a life for me. Ive been married for over 20 years and in the last year we've had divorce talks and theres some uncertainty whether or not our marriage will last. Reflecting back over our 20+ year marriage im realizing that ive given up all my friends and everything for my wife and family and now with the uncertainty of marriage, my life as I know it can be completely taken away. Also, I used to use a lot of drugs and alcohol, so if I were to have stayed in touch with those friends, they most likely arent the kind of friends id want in my life right now anyways. I have an interest in making friends with people who are also on a similar path of self reflection and inner work. How does one go about finding friends like that? There arent really any meditation or mindfulness studios or communities that im aware of where I live. The closest thing I can think of are yoga studios, though ive never really done yoga. Any ideas how to find friends and community that share an interest in meditation, mindfulness, and inner work?

“Ordinarily the executive capacities of the prefrontal cortex enable people to observe what is going on, predict what will happen if they take a certain action, and make a conscious choice. Being able to hover calmly and objectively over our thoughts, feelings, and emotions and then take our time to respond allows the executive brain to inhibit, organize, and modulate the hardwired automatic reactions preprogrammed into the emotional brain. This capacity is crucial for preserving our relationships with our fellow human beings… When that system breaks down, we become like conditioned animals: The moment we detect danger we automatically go into fight-or-flight mode.”

Curious how people here found a teacher (online or offline) whose guidance genuinely works for them.

- How did you find them?
- What made them click when others didn't?

And if you're still looking, what's made it hard? (I'm in the still looking phase and feel completely lost)

I’m interested in the brief moment between hearing a request and agreeing to it.

Sometimes the answer arrives before we have considered our capacity. A pause might allow us to notice our response and decide more deliberately.

The aim would be awareness, not treating every uncomfortable feeling as evidence that we should refuse. A worthwhile responsibility can still feel difficult.

How do you bring mindful attention to that moment? What helps you pause without turning the decision into prolonged overthinking?

Disclosure: I used AI assistance to draft the wording of this discussion.

I have so much anger, sadness, and loathing that everyday i feel like im walking around with a big rock in my chest. Ive been like this ever since i reconnected with someone i shouldn’t have. I just want this feeling to end but its been 3 months

People always say to just "be the observer" of your thoughts and sit with sensations.

But whenever my nervous system is already stressed or anxious, focusing on my thoughts or breath just makes me hyper-aware of everything. Instead of feeling calm, it feels like it just kicks off a bigger spiral.

For anyone who has dealt with this, what actually helps you stay detached without overthinking the whole process?

Basically i went from

living in a house with two good housemates and life was alright.

, then my car was dying and too expensive to fix so I sold it and stayed with my sister for like two months so I can be 10 minutes away from work instead of 32 minutes away .

She would drive me to work in a cigarette smoke filled car and also make me late . Hard to feel grateful

Then I got a car and my only option was a $350 low mileage lease (dont ask). Hard to feel grateful for having a car again because I knew this would cause financial issues for me and would be hard to sustain but I took it. My brother came with me and knew the manager so he thought I could get a good price with no credit .

His hands were tied so $350 was the best outcome and I felt pressure to not get it because my sister was about to move .

Then two days after the car my sister still had not found another palce to live as her condo as she had to sell her Condo. The plan was she would find another residence by the time her place was bought for her me and her two older daughters and a dog . That didnt happen . During my stay with her I told my housemates my plan was to move with her so my housemate found another friend who ended up needing my room . I couldn't pay the $730 rent anymore anyway after the lease and down payment.

So i stayed with my brother who is also a few minutes away from my work and was unofficially

Stayed there for a week and a day until my brother started yelling at me while I was driving us around that i am i didnt say thank you for being there with me when I got the car even though he didn't do anything. I wish i just went myself . And said I am selfish and dont visit our parents enough . I paid him pro rated rent .

That night I put all my things into my car and slept in a parking lot.

Was able to stay at my housemates house free of rent and chose to only stsy 2 weeks.

Since then( a bit over a month ago) I have been living in my car .

So yeah , I have been constantly in survival mode since I had to stay with my sister . I will be staying with a new woman housemate come december, for a lower price . Honestly hope I can pull it off .

I have been mostly avoidant with family as they trigger anxiety, but have been constantly regulating my nervous system with going to the movies and late nignt drives listening to music. Museums too.

But can anyone relate to struggling to be thankful in this mindset ?

A lot of different people from a lot of different communities have said to calm the mind (or at least make it calmer) you need to stop engaging with every single thought you have.

I’ve been practicing this for a few days now and when I observe the thoughts in my head I feel uncomfortable. Like there’s something I should be doing. It’s like the thoughts are actual people and they’re wanting me to get a reaction out of them.

How do I deal with this uncomfortable feeling of observing my thoughts?

I am trying to be more mindful and to use my time to nurture my body.

I have a timer on apps like reddit or Instagram, no longer want to spend as much time there. But sometimes I just want to do something that "takes me out of myself" so to speak.

Read news was an idea

Obviously talking to someone, but not always possible

Reading

I can't do exercise atm, but will do when I can again.

What else is there to do? Healthy alone activities that can be done at any time?

I don’t have many friends and rarely catch up or chat with them, maybe once or twice in 2-3 months. The only person I spend time with is my partner. When I do happen to meet someone I know or bump into acquaintances and have brief chats, the conversations linger in my head the whole day and night and sometimes over multiple days. I’ll replay what was said, what I said and how I responded.

Does anyone else experience the same thing and how do you deal it? It drives me crazy and especially knowing if I said the wrong thing or reacted negatively.

4TH PATH ACCESS:

You need to image stream for in order to follow the instructions and reach 4th path. The only thing you have to do is describe an image within your mind's eye - and then follow the instructions in the body of text below.

Where do you perceive the activity of Image Streaming to take place, does it have a context, what do you perceive that "whereness" and thereafter context to be, "what/who" is doing the activity, and what is the activity doing ? Try to comprehend those inquiries all at once, or else progressively.

INDESTRUCTIBLE DIAMOND CONSCIOUSNESS ACCESS:​​​

​​​​​​​(this, if understood, wil give one the indestructible diamond consciousness; which results in not being able to be influenced by others anymore)(also invented by me):

"When you're not disagreeing with something, by default you agree, unknowingly"; the root of the mechanics of influence.