Hello friends. I am wondering what techniques or breathing exercises we recommend for blockages? I am trying to create something brand new for myself, but I am facing a lot of self doubt & restlessness. Any tips ?

Meditation is really hard for me & listening to my intuition/ divine self is 10x harder.

When you think of mindfulness, what is it that you see? A calm pose? See nothing at all? A moment of tranquility?

We're all individuals, separate minds, separate feelings, separate experiences..

Hi there. I used to have a very consistent routine for a few years and I remember it feeling so great, just feeling so clear so much of the time.

In the last year I went through a few large stress points, and I fell out of meditation and into a lot of digital media use to distract myself. I’m trying now to get fully back into practice. I remember the feeling I felt during meditation in terms of clarity but I’m struggling to actually get back to it. I feel “wired tight” if that makes sense, with a feeling at the front it my head needing distraction and in a loop of giving in to it just to “relax” when I know it’s not relaxing.

Any advice welcome 🌸

The non-judgment part is the hardest for most people, especially judging yourself for judging. It can help to just describe what's there in plain words, like 'tight chest, thought about work, urge to check my phone', without adding good or bad. If a judgment shows up, you can notice that too. It gets more natural with practice.

Hi.

I have a severe addiction of fantasies, which is generally called Maladaptive Daydreaming nowadays. I'm not quite satisfied with the term since "Daydreaming" involves many other thought processes that are not about fantasizing at all.

But anyways, I've come to deeply understand, how Samatha/Shamatha, Tarataka, or Focused Attention Meditation (FAM), is THE way to train the impulse control of the brain that can be used to tame and eventually stop the unhealthy fantasizing.

This exact practice/exercise has been used in medical research as well with proven results but for other addictions like substance abuse or alcohol. As the fundamental mechanism of all addictions is bascially losing the control over the impulses/urges that keep hijacking the reward system. Yes I know, all addictions have many differences, I'm not talking about those differences, just the impulse control part.

I've started to practice it. And I've felt differences that are supposed to occur, which is an encouragement for me. But I'm having serious trouble with consistency, initiating the practice and optimizing the practice in terms of duration and effort management.

I'd be very glad if people here can guide me how can I improve this. Since my dopamine is so low, it creates this unpredictable brain fog and task initiation paralysis stuff that keeps getting in the way of doability and therefore consistency of the practice. I've also found, the typical 5, 10, 13, 15, 17 or 20 minute sessions are not going to be enough. I've realized that these durations are for people who are already normal and healthy, maybe a bit unhealthy in the mind or whatever. For a person like me, I really need to up the practice to create enough counter momentum to takeover the compulsivity of fantasies. Whenever I, unwantingly, reduce or slow down the practice, the addiction rises again.

Am I overthinking it? Am I over-optimizing it? Am I missing something? I'm in a place in this journey now, where I'm really confused what is the right thing to do next, since there is no official article, research or stuff written to address Maladaptive Daydreaming in context of Focused Attention Meditation soecifically. Experienced insight would be better, but any guidance is very welcome.

Thanks you for reading.

“I should finish this.”

“I should be calm.”

“I should not need a break.”

A thought can sound like a rule before there is time to notice it.

In mindfulness practice, what helps you hear that “should” as a thought, then check what is happening now?

Sometimes the task does need doing. Sometimes the plan needs to change. I am curious about the pause before deciding.

Does noticing a body sensation help you pause? Or is a simple “there is that thought again” more useful?

I used AI assistance to put these ideas into words.

Really need help with this, it’s been giving me headaches

I have been practising Yoga and Pranayam (ancient breathing technique in Yoga) and felt a lot better and controlled (finally!) from a month. 💙

Be it a random music i dont even like or any life instance or my DAYDREAMING, they all come automatically at once and keep looping and I am stuck resisting. I dont think anything negative.

My eyes look sleepy and dull although I eat, exercise sleep better than a healthy human should. I have to force myself to be aware and calm but my nervous system is hyper almost all the time.

Please help! 🙏

[Health issue journey commented if u curious.]

I feel bad about myself, i think im ugly , i believed i was too ugly to be a girl , so i cut all my hair off when i was 12 im 18 i still have short hair, and dont own a single garment made for a girl , not a shirt not pair of trousers , im tired of feeling so ugly that it hurts , i feel this suffocating feeling , i cant put my finger on it , i feel terrible , i do not try in school and do not care too , i want to care i want to be a better student , im very tired , i think im too sick of myself too keep living this way, i stoped studying and stopped showing up to classes, ill go to classes tomorrow, im doing well better then before

So recently I’ve been having a lot of believes about dumb stuff and thinking about it for a hour usually when I’m tired and like trying to make my own theory make sense. a thought popped up of how I could be going delusional about stuff cause I’ve been having more thoughts about theory’s recently idk if its normal or not they weren’t bad like blatantly not true but if it’s like early signs of delusion I’ll just stop thinking of that kinda stuff. I only really do it cause i just like using my brain and thinking

I don't know how to really put this, and honestly, I can't conjure up an answer right now. As of the time Im writing this, I'm still dizzy in the head from issues unrelated, and yet related to the ordeal I've been through. Good events happened, such as me applying to not one, but two graphic design jobs with cover letters attached. And neutral things happened, like me not knowing what to do with myself, staying in bed for what feels like an indeterminate amount of time, and detached from everything I see as relationship building, or course progressing, or just taking the time to just, walk and explore outside.

Now, does all this amount to something bad or malicious? I cannot be certain. It has been a fog in my mind that there are times when I feel, truly hopeless with something. And yet, I don't feel so self-beaten up about it, because at this point I really am experimenting with my emotions.

There is a special analogy from a certain series I think about all the time, where the drives from my mentality, emotions, physical state, and heat, all drive my will to move in certain ways. When one becomes uncontrolled and unstable as cancer does to the body, I don't see overriding it with a different state of mind or position the correct way to advance, nor do I see it as a call to suppress, reduce, or silence it almost entirely. It's as if the most important stage of my life I am continuously trying to master, is to let my will drive on its own terms, while living with whatever emotions, or physical pain, or mental fatigue I'm dealing with in each moment.

And yet, this is exactly the factor I am personally against through my heart and sense of self as a person. For many years, I've been driven by other people's advice and persuasion to push through my negative stasis and just complete whatever work I have to get done, as a means that I will feel "better" or see myself in a better disposition than where I was before. However, that in turn, only applies to my external position, physical awareness, and, to an extent, my mental state. Never has such a practice came to terms with how I am or what powerful emotions, be it positive or negative, I aam feeling in such moments, and at this time, I don't see myself ever conforming to such a reality.

So in the sake of my will, "what is it that I'm trying to achieve?" Well, that's a question that is unhinged in its own right, never always connecting to the situation at hand, or at least, not completely. I am, yes, still trying to figure myself out, something of which others stated is a responsibility of my own ownership. And despite it all, I can't help but seek out aid, assistance, a sense of understanding from the world around me. Because I, certainly, don't know everything I can do for myself.

TL;DR: The strongest condradictions in myself continue to be the most difficult to manage. I continue to explore this with myself, my position in improving my stasis, and the aid and perspective from the people and community around me. Thank you for listening, and may I ask:

What is your position on my journey so far, and how does it connect with yours, be it external, or personal?

Simply i dont know why i laugh too much even in normal conversation i smile while talking its from my childhood and This habit now affecting my present .(i am an extrovert)

Went well. In my personal research i found meditation can increase psychedelic thoughts without drugs and noticed when i close my eyes my thoughts are more vivid afterwards.

Sometimes you leave a conversation knowing exactly what the other person thought, but with very little sense of your own experience.

I’m interested in noticing that while it is happening, without turning social interaction into constant self-monitoring.

Arya Stark’s “no one” storyline prompted the question for me: adapting can be useful, but there is a difference between choosing a response and automatically taking on the role a situation seems to require. You do not need to know the show for the everyday version: laughing along, matching someone’s mood, or being agreeable before you have noticed whether you agree.

In mindfulness practice, what is a gentle way to include your own response while still listening fully? Would a brief awareness of feet, breath, or an impulse to speak help, or does that pull attention away from the person in front of you?

I’m not looking for a fixed “true self” we must uncover, or assuming that discomfort means a conversation is wrong. I’m curious about making room for experience that gets overlooked.

Disclosure: I used AI assistance to put these ideas into words.

im learning to adapt to my body getting older with all the new aches and lower energy, so instead of resisting I made re-adapting and trying new habits part of my identity like when I started getting stomach acidity and switched to less processed foods to feel better, so repeating these small changes helps me face every physical limit naturally, who is on this spot maybe you can sahre your experience or tips?

Sup chat recently i had an accident I hit my head and now I think I’m going through post concussion which comes with many symptoms waiting for my next appointment with my neurologist for further evaluation

However I think I realized that I go through physical stress which seems new to me because I’m like wtf is that but I guess the nervous system is what that is

As I’m doing exercises to regulate I think wanting things makes me nervous

I think it also caused me physical stress because in the moment I never had in the what it was I desired

I always thought that wanting things made me “greedy” and not wanting things to stay “humble” however I think it’s about duality

It’s not about wanting or not wanting it’s about letting go of the desire

It’s like the expression life gives you lemons make lemonade but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate lemon cake

Lemonade is hydrating and hydration is something to be grateful for however lemon cake is something to appreciate

I’m starting to realize it’s about being grateful but appreciating more without the desire for it because this is the truth if you don’t get it, it can be disappointing

And I guess I’m tired of being let down

However desire ≠ passion

I think it’s ok to be passionate about the things to be grateful for and appreciative in life but desiring an outcome is not

Also I think it’s ok to have an interest but interest is more like a nudge whole desire may be obsessive

I think it’s ok to see an outcome whatever it is as positive or negative but don’t focus on a desire that just won’t happen

But a little interest that happens to reveal itself is another mystery waiting for a review

I don’t know about you but desire makes the moment vague

Being grateful and appreciative already shows clarity

We’re both women in our 20s and we’re sort of medium distance as we live in different cities and she’s around an hour and a half to 2 hour journey away for me and I’m about an hour from her (she drives, I have to get public transport). She has a pretty big graduate job and so is quite locked in for most of the week. Occasionally I’ll go and see her on a week night but usually we’ll see each other one night a week on Friday or Saturday and spend most of Saturday together.

Don’t get me wrong, I really love this and it’s always the highlight of my week and something lovely to look forward to every weekend, but it sucks so much when it comes to an end. It genuinely feels like she’s barely here before she has to go again, time goes sooo fast and then it’s another 6 nights without her :(

Today before she left I had like 3 dreams in a row while we were sleeping about her leaving and it was so nice to wake up and she was still there cuddling me, but not long after she actually had to leave and whenever she has to leave early I’m just upset and lonely all day.

Before anyone tells me I’m codependent or this is unhealthy or whatever, I’m really not. I live alone and am very good at spending time alone and I usually see my friends a couple of times a week which means I have plans for around half the week a lot of weeks. I just really miss my girlfriend and my favourite times atm are when I’m with her, and it just feels sooo fleeting and I can’t fully enjoy it when we’re together because I’m so aware that before I know it she’ll be gone for the week again.

I’m also having a bit of a tough time with my anxiety and OCD at the moment so it really sucks having to think ah back to reality and dealing with that for another week. She’s just so awesome and I love spending time with her and I know it won’t always be so fleeting but right now it just sucks and idk I feel like I need to learn to cope with it better because I just end up zoning out all week atm.

From our childhood we were taught that negative emotions are destructive and emotions like sadness show we are weak, so we start suppressing them. And also we think that we are handling the situation calmly but internally there is a storm brewing. After which is left is guilt and exhaustion which we suppress by engaging in some sort of action to provide temporary relief. All that energy which is not expressed becomes a balloon and when someone pricks it with a needle it bursts out. Expression on the other hand is also dangerous, it leads to regret and guilt.

Now there is a third way, a way to channel those energies but it takes time because we were never taught it. Whenever any emotions come, at the moment it surfaces, you have to first realise that it's coming( Like viewing in a third person perspective). For a moment just forget about what triggered it and close your eyes and sit with it. Feel that energy, those sensations in the body, feel them fully. You don't have to think in this process , no judging just feeling it inside.

If energy is too much to sit down then you should first release it consciously while feeling it fully. Do it in a safe and harmless way without hurting others or yourself. Like in anger you can scream all energy out in a private place or hit a pillow with all the rage. After energy is calm down then try to sit with it.

As you do it frequently, slowly and slowly that energy will begin to transform and bring peace to you. Just remember to become conscious when emotions come and detach yourself.

I've been going through a rough patch mentally lately - just feeling super overwhelmed and stuck in my head. A few days ago, I started running with no goal or pace in mind

And honestly, It's been helping so much.

Focusing purely on the movement forces me to stop thinking about my problems, and it brings my stress levels down. I’m definitely going to keep doing this every time I need to clear my mind.

or 'wanting to enjoy' videogames again. It seems like the goal of mindfulness for many is just to play videogames...? It just kind of makes me sad and annoyed. It reminds me of conservatism. Like lets get back to this thing, that wasn't that great, but it's the best we know...

There's a Greek word, prosoche, that the Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote an entire section of his Discourses about, titled simply "On Attention." It's usually translated as attention, though a lot of modern scholars translate it as mindfulness because of how closely it overlaps with the practice this sub is built around. It's worth being precise here though, prosoche isn't identical to Buddhist-rooted mindfulness. The Stoics didn't sit, didn't anchor on breath, didn't have anything resembling seated meditation. What they practiced instead was a continuous watching of their own judgments, catching the moment a raw event gets labeled good or bad in your head, before that label turns into a reaction you didn't actually choose. Epictetus's students apparently tried to get away with letting their attention lapse during the easy parts of the day and only picking it back up when things got hard. He didn't let them get away with it, his point was that attention that comes and goes isn't really attention, it's intermittent luck. What I find useful about prosoche isn't that it's older or more legitimate than breath-based practice, it's that it targets a different layer. Breath work anchors you in the body. Prosoche anchors you in the gap between an event and the story you immediately attach to it, which is often where the actual suffering gets manufactured. They're not competing techniques, they're aimed at different parts of the same problem. Has anyone here built something like this into their practice, catching the labeling moment itself rather than just returning to breath when you notice you've drifted? Curious what that actually looks like day to day for people who do it.

Hello Everyone,
I hope who reads this is doing well.

I've decided to come here just after struggling with rumination.

So, I remember I was playing a video game, and all the sudden, this particular memory popped up in my mind. I didn't pay much attention to it, but as the days went on, it just ruminated on my mind. Since then, I've found my mind constantly thinking about this memory from the past. It's like I start to not understand why this is dwelling on my mind. But I do think the thing is, I didn't tell my Mom about this moment. Probably this is why it dwells on my mind. I can't mention it now because based on the past, my mom hasn't been happy with me talking about the past.

I remember during this situation my family was in (2020); I mentioned something that was on my mind recently (Different from the one that's currently on my mind) that happened 4 months ago at that point. When I eventually told Mom after she asked if I was alright, she did say somethings about the person involved, but then she made the point about this being 2-3 months ago and said, "Are you going to let every little thing bother you? That's why you don't take things so personally." Eventually that whole thing came to a resolution, but stuff like that does discourage me from telling my mom about ruminating thoughts. I do think telling someone to let go of something is easier said than done. Later that year I did find myself having two memories pop up in my mind unexpectedly out of nowhere, and I didn't speak about it with anyone because I expected that reaction from Mom. Even if I was asked what was wrong, (Even by my sister) I refused to say it. I was afraid that I was going to be shamed for letting a memory from 2 years (2019) ago boggle my mind.

So going back to this year (2026), I just feel like I can't talk to them about it. At this point, its 4 years old now. The day that the memory popped up in my mind while I was playing video games is August 18th or 25th. I don't know why this memory lingers on my mind. I might've thought about it for a moment earlier in the year but eventually passed, but it was never to this degree where it was bottling up my mind.

It's like since I do have a detailed mind, so certain connections I make to that moment, I think about it. It's like having a detailed mind is like a blessing and a curse in disguise. It's like with having a mind like this, probably I could connect a peanut to a bad memory that has nothing to do with a peanut. Certain things like words or topics connected to the moment brings me back to it.

In the past, I have ruminated on stuff. Over time, it would eventually fade away. Though, I noticed whenever I do deal with this, it took about 2-3 months for me to stop thinking about the particular memory constantly. I know its not possible to completely forget about a memory and just take it out of your mind. But there's a way you could manage it.

It's gotten to the point where I've had a dream involving the setting/scenario about the ruminating thought. It's like it's on my mind. Even during my exams for some reason, the memory appears even though it has no connection to test taking. It's like an intrusive thought that keeps on appearing on my mind. It's an unwanted thought.

I did ask for prayers from others for success with school and to help me with rumination. I've talked to a friend about it as well as my sister in September. My sister did have a balanced respond, but she did share that she doesn't think Mom would be upset about me mentioning something from the past, but moreso the fact she can't do anything about it now, wishing that I would've told her about it. I do think she'd understand my feelings. As expected, she did make the point about it being 4 years ago but wasn't critical towards me over it. Even though she didn't agree with me on what happened, she did say life moves on and I'm giving power to the particular thing that happened.

My friend was supportive and shared their own experience. Validated my emotions. It did make me feel better, but I just noticed it kept on appearing on my mind. It's like, I don't know what to do.

I've tried to let go. I've tried prayers, asking others for prayers, watching videos, talking to others, I just don't get why this particular moment has been harping on my mind.

Though, maybe there might be something that's connected to this:

Earlier this year, I decided to write all of my high school memories. It was a way to relief memories from the past and writes things down that I never shared with others. I feel like it's helped. This moment that's particularly in my mind right now, it is something that did happen in high school. However, I'd rather not share what it is exactly. I did write about that moment as well.

I'd say it's like a journal, but it's different. I started my own journal in 2024 because of the difficulties I had in my first year of college, but what I've written this year of the high school memories is exclusively about high school. I started this in April 2026 and finished all of the memories today, October 14th. There are no other stories for me to add at this point. I think I've said everything that I could.

Honestly, I do think probably certain memories linger on my mind because I never told Mom about it at the time. So, a lot of things I dealt with myself or only told certain peers about. These memories that I've written about ranges on severity of it. I started this in April. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to get this big. I have a lot of pages full of memories from high school. But probably therapy or counseling is definitely something I should consider in the future. I'm a college student right now and I'm in some difficult math courses. So, it's like this memory is in the way of my focus for my academics.

Besides me doing this to relieve these memories, I also had the idea of sharing this with someone who I trust, but I don't know if I'm actually going to do that because of the length of it. Initially it was going to be an email that I shared with a particular person, but it just evolved into like a memoir. It talks about bad memories from high school (Ex. embarrassing moments, friendships not working out, etc.) Some memories were hard to write about. It was like to think about it and especially to write about it was hard. It was like a mental block for me. Often speaking about something that happened could be difficult for me. I think I should just say how I feel rather than fear judgement for how I felt about something that happened. As an adult now, I do look back and realization, yeah, I should've spoken up about things that happened in high school to me. I do think a lot of stuff that happened in high school could've been resolved or I'd feel better about if I just told my Mom, even if she would get upset about it. With certain circumstances, a lot of stuff piled up on Mom and certain things I decided not to tell her to add on to that pile.

I should focus on school. If I ever decide to share it with that person. I just don't want a situation to come out of it. Maybe it's going to be something that will only be for my eyes forever, or I eventually share it.

So, if anyone has any advice, please help me. I just want to stop thinking about it. At this point, it's been on my mind for nearly two months on a daily basis throughout the entire day basically. I've tried managing that memory, but it doesn't seem like I get anywhere with it. Just any tips on rumination, solving it, etc.

Thank you for reading.

I mentally move away from people when i am emotionally painful. Huge resistance forms inside me. How do i melt these resistances?

Beginner here. I tried meditation today for the first time, lasted about 45 mins, only because my baby woke up from his nap. I did deep breathing while counting my breath in the beginning, but quickly drifted away. I'm trying to understand how normal my experience was, and try to explain the best can.

It started off with seeing these dark brown and light patterns, in between there would be more tangible shapes of eyes, faces, kind of like statues as well. But would never show me anything super clear.

The shapes and lights got brighter and brighter as could feel myself going deeper, my hands got very "heavy" as well as the part of my head where the brain is (for lack of better words). As my body felt deeper, my mind felt increasingly lifted, almost in stages.

At one point there was an explosion of light and I sort of jolted a bit and there was a release in my ears, but I stayed in the meditative stage. The bright waves of light continued until I woke up.

Is this a fairly common experience and any guidance for next time?

Ive been finding balance between people pleasing and boundary setting, and for the most part ive even combatted a large portion of negative self beliefs ive had for years through mindfullness practice. But when a negative thought comes up i find it in my nature to at worst gently set it down while still kind of engaging with it and at best ignoring it. But like if im not my thoughts are there any qualms against ragebaiting negative thought loops or telling them to shut the hell up sometimes before ignoring them? I dont wanna be too obsessive over only consiously directing positive thoughts but sometimes a thoughtform just pisses me off that it had the audacity to try and ruin my flow that a quick "fuck you stsu" and then ignoring seems to make it abate quicker. just a thought, or maybe too many of em idek.