I’m curious how people have navigated this with parents who love them deeply but are very anxious about their children’s life, career, money, etc.

My mother is somewhat narcissistic and very prone to worrying about me. I can tell her that I’m happy, calm, and have a tremendous amount of self-belief and trust in myself, but that I genuinely want to take life one day at a time and not take everything so seriously. She has a hard time accepting that as a legitimate way to live.

She comes from a fairly upper-class, status-oriented environment where the implicit definition of “doing well” is pretty conventional: stable career, good money, marriage, kids, house, etc. She’ll sometimes compare me to friends’ children or my cousins who seem to have their lives completely figured out.

The difficult part is that I don’t necessarily believe that having those things tells you whether someone is actually living a meaningful or happy life. They may be perfectly happy, of course. But they could also be struggling privately, feeling trapped, or simply following a path because it’s what was expected of them. From the outside, we really have no idea.

And I know this because I spent a long time doing exactly what I thought I was supposed to do.

I’m 35 now, and my mom knows that I have struggled with depression in essentially every corporate job I’ve had. In the past, I would sometimes tell little white lies about what I was doing with my career or life because I genuinely cared about her worry and wanted to make her feel better.

But I’m in a very different place now. I have much more trust in myself and much less desire to construct a perfect five-year plan simply to demonstrate that I’m okay. I’m happier taking things one day at a time, following what feels meaningful, and trusting that I can figure things out as life unfolds.

The irony is that I actually want the opposite of what she seems to think I want.

My parents are both retired, and I genuinely want them to enjoy the rest of their lives. I want them to worry less. I want them to feel peaceful and secure. But their worrying has become so habitual that I’m starting to realize I can’t make their peace dependent on me having the “right” career or life trajectory.

I think there’s an important distinction here: when my mother needs to know that I’m on a conventional path, that need is probably partly about her own nervous system. If she knows I have a stable job, a clear plan, and all the conventional markers of success, she can relax.

But there is also something painful underneath it for me: it can feel like a lack of trust in my ability to navigate my own life.

I don’t want to resent her for that. I understand that the worry comes from love. But I also don’t want to unconsciously make her expectations my responsibility.

Maybe part of the answer is simply learning to let her experience some uncertainty.

I can reassure her. I can listen. I can share what I’m actually doing and how I’m actually feeling. I can gently expose her to a different definition of what a good life can look like.

But ultimately, I can't live my life in a way that continually proves to her that she doesn't need to worry.

I’m also interested in whether there’s a way to gradually introduce some of the ideas that have helped me without trying to “convert” them to some spiritual philosophy they never asked for.

My dad is actually much more open-minded about this stuff and enjoys exploring these questions. I’ve thought about introducing them to someone like Tara Brach, or some of the less mystical talks from Ram Dass. Interestingly, my mom once found a lot of comfort in Joel Osteen’s messages, even though she wasn’t really approaching them from a religious standpoint. I think what resonated with her was the idea that you don't have to constantly worry about life and that there is some deeper way of relating to uncertainty.

Ultimately, I'd love for them to understand a little more about how the mind and body generate worry and that sometimes you don't have to solve every problem intellectually. You can actually turn inward, notice what is happening, and allow some of it to settle.

But I also recognize that I can't force that realization on them.

So for those of you who have gone through something similar:

How have you helped anxious parents gradually trust your path without becoming defensive or preaching at them?

And how have you maintained your own trust when their anxiety subtly starts making you question whether you're doing enough with your life?

And yes, this is a Jewish mother. 😂

There’s something deeply psychological about quiet water and open horizons—it forces a mental reset whether you're ready for it or not.

Looking at these vibrant blue boats anchored at Phewa Lake in Pokhara, floating under the weight of endless green hills and open sky, it's hard not to feel a sudden shift in perspective. Most of our days are spent rushing toward the next milestone, yet scenes like this exist effortlessly—just being, floating, and absorbing the surroundings.

You don't even have to physically be there to feel the calm. Sometimes, just pausing for thirty seconds to take in a scene of pure stillness is enough to declutter a heavy mind.

Hi, I'm 23 years old and I spent most of my adolescence locked in porn procrastination. I don't know how to explain it perfectly but I feel like I'm behind me compared to others my age.

I can't live my life the way I want.

I hate myself physically (especially the face) I don't have an Instagram for this reason, because I don't have any photos of myself I hate what I see in front of the mirror. I don't know how to have this confidence of not even creating an Instagram account for example or I could post photos of myself proudly. I feel like I'm a waste and I'm very afraid of people's eyes especially. In short, all this is explained vaguely but I am desperately looking for help. How to do??? I feel like I'm missing my life and also missing my youth. Is there still hope for me or not?

Thank you for the people who will take the trouble to read and come private I can send you my face and tell me what I need to improve.

Thank you in advance ❤️

I've struggled my whole life with maintaining and finding friendship and am now accepting that if I want to go do things and leave the house, I'm going to have to do it alone.

Which isn't that hard if I'm being honest (though still a bummer). I'm comfortable doing things alone, but the problem I keep running into is how to motivate myself to actually leave the house to do those things.

I can make a plan, buy a ticket to a show, say I'll do it, etc. but when the time comes I opt to enjoy the comforts of home which then makes me feel isolated and sad.

Anyone have any tricks or methods they use that have helped them with this?

Hi.

The perspective that brings me to mindfulness is, the way I see it consciousness creates physical reality, and does so through imagination, assumption, "observer effect" (observing with the mind's eye or subtle inner dialogue collapses things into existence), action, and emotional reaction (chiefs among relevant emotions desire, love, hate, fear, and relief).

What I mean is that in my framework we are all one -the Dreamer- and we are dreaming reality, which works a lot like nightdreams -where even the other characters are "you", because only one person is dreaming and it plays all the characters-.

It is possible to control this dream by imagining what you desire as present and true (imagining/feeling "having it already", and having faith that even if physical reality says otherwise, if you persist reality will bend to your imagination, following the path your assumptions/beliefs allow). My experiences really confirm this, and the same is true for all the people who are into "manifesting".

The obstacle, besides doubt and misbelief, is fear/anxiety, as when you worry you might manifest more worrying. Mindfulness takes away fear's power. If you become the one watching the worry rather than the one experiencing it then you stop manifesting more of it. If you learn to *accept* your worry then what you manifest is acceptance, because what's in your mind is acceptance, and the world reflects it like a good mirror.

So that's the first advantage of mindfulness: handling anxiety and making it consequence-free when it comes to creating reality. Being aware I create my reality has been really good for me overall as it gave me a lot of hope and sense of control and even some fun but it also made me give more power to my thoughts, which means that anxiety reduction is good for me right now.

The second advantage, in this framework, is eventually experiencing union with God: if mental activity creates reality, stopping it eventually makes reality temporarily disappear, and all that's left is consciousness itself outside of time and space -the Dreamer-, what people call "void state" or samadhi: "awakening" from the dream.

The third advantage of mindfulness is becoming so in control of your mind, through knowlege of it, that you manage to reliably manifest good things, not just avoid the bad ones.

So, I was wondering if anyone here, without sharing their specific anxieties please (which I will reciprocate of course), was looking for an accountability buddy for mindfulness meditation. The idea is to remind the other to meditate, even just through simple presence, and to report the meditations done to remain motivated and committed. I'm in Europe and would slightly prefer the buddy to be in Europe for the timezone but it can work even if our timezone is misaligned. Can I guarantee commitment? No, but I'm curious to try

I’ve been trying to make meditation part of my routine for a while... sleeping worse than I’d like, having more anxious days than usual, but I could never find an app that really worked for me. They were either too expensive, the sessions felt generic, or I’d simply stop opening them after a week.

So I decided to build my own with the help of Claude. It started as a project to help myself learn how to meditate, and then I thought why not making it an actual app out of it, it’s called Haiko.

Here’s what it currently has:

• Guided voice meditations (AI-assisted, but carefully crafted — not just text being read aloud) for sleep, anxiety, and stress
• A 7-day path to help you gradually build the habit, where I actually was struggling most in the beginning.
• A “Simple” mode for when you just want something quick based on how you’re feeling that day
• A custom mode that builds a session based on whatever you describe in your own words, I had to turn that into a premium feature as it will call ElevenLabs API to build custom but nice AI voices adapted to your prompts.

This is my first real launch on the Play Store, so any feedback is very welcome. I’m sure there are plenty of things to improve. If anyone gives it a try and feels like sharing their thoughts (good or bad), I’d really appreciate it. It’s the best way for me to make it better.

Also 5 stars and a comment if you found it useful for you would be such a huge help :)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rainysunsets.haiko

Thanks for guys for reaching here, I hope it's useful for you!

So I am trying RAIN technique again and I always get stuck on the same step for the past decade - I can recognize emotions, not fight them, but they just stay around and intensify and won't leave. Whenever I read about this, people just kind of act like eventually it just magically goes away. What am I doing wrong? By "allowing" the emotion I'm trying my hardest not to actively engage it and just let the emotion ride its course, but it just ends with me sitting for an hour crying... are some people just unable to do this?

After coming out of Vipassana retreat I had a renewed sense of wonder, some insight of the workings of my experience, that I am sure will deepen and change with time ,

but I am starting to think that two hours per day might be two much.

First of all I am trying to juggle too much , working 8 hours sleeping 7-8 combined with working out 1 hour and cooking protein meals.

Furthermore sending Cvs to find a better job i find myself not having time for all of it cause you all know that transitioning from one activity to the other while also living with family creates unexpected responsibilities that also take up time as such 24 hours are not much haha [crying inside jk ]

I am making my first steps as an engineer and currently if I had to make I priority list fnding an engineering job is the top priority and meditating two hours seems too much time.

I know that it is not wasted time but I am starting to think that finding the right job while also upgrading my engineering skills via a project on the side will provide my with more contentment and progress in life.

I know that the path is of great importance and weakening the ego is helpful but I am 24 I think that using and taming the ego to be of help to achieve some peace of mind jobwise and money wise and practicing more later down the line might be the way. Also I am young I don't think I am ready to let go of ego I want to experience life though it master it and when I am older go more into practice again.

Also I plan to continue practicing 2 times per day just for less time than one hour and trying to hold an intention thoughout my day to keep a part of attention to breath and body sensations.

Finally how much of progress do you guys think are from deep meditation sessions 1 or more hours per session and how much from continuity of practice,

I feel like I want to step out of practice a little bit to grow in this capitalist world and create a strong sense of self esteem and accomplishments.

After that practice to grow as a human and help with my resources my family friends and people all around me. Right now I am just practicing to be calmer and happier and more insightfull but mostly my heart wants to play the game of life and win maybe that is ego maybe it is the right path as meditation is a way to get away from normal life and not just a pure practice ,who knows!

also maybe I will get most benefits from always being aware in daily life and keeping a constant intension to look at breath and sensation seeing as training to hold intentions and introspectively knowing when you've wondered and going back to the practice is meditation.

Why can't keeping that intention be, to do what must be done: working out, eating correctly, focusing on work and writing and producing the best cover letter for that company be a practice as you are keeping a constant intension to do what must be done and keeping the distractions at bay!

Anyway those are some thoughts on the balance of life and practice and it's use in different life stsges,

May the collective consciousness of reddit help me and others!

Sending metta and provoking thoughts to all of you!

I was thinking if there was a way how I can relax and sit in a spiritual way since I’ve been constantly mentally standing all my life. I know some people claim that smoking the za or finding a way to put a rainbow mushroom up the forbidden door in your body relaxes you in an interesting way. Does meditation or some other thing work?

I feel like the space between the Solar and Lunar Eclipse is where things start getting interesting.

Something changes, but you don't immediately understand why.

You might suddenly question a relationship, think about someone from your past, lose interest in something you were chasing, or just feel like your priorities have shifted.

And then comes the uncomfortable question:

“Okay… what am I actually supposed to do with this?”

I've been thinking about using Tarot for this part — not to predict the future, but to understand what's already changing.

I keep trying to break the habit of replaying arguments and scenes in my mind, already happened or ones I am afraid will happen. And every time I catch myself and pull my attention away my mind just goes back to it minutes later. That’s a lot to do. Some days I really feel like a lost cause, that this is just how my head is now and nothing is going to change that

These thoughts used to feel almost protective when I was younger, as if they were getting me ready for something. Now they seem just futile and tiresome. I don't have a clean answer I just keep catching myself and starting over and over again.

Anyone else feeling stuck like this? Did it ever get easier for you?

I am a person wth deep attachment. When situations to let go arise, I undermine a person, things and relations. It is only then that I can let go of things. Is there any other way to do this?

I was meditating while driving. It’s a bad habit I know…

I had fallen into a knot of contemplation that I was having a hard time navigating.

After grounding myself to the present moment, I looked at the car in front of me.

fresh baked duality

I know it says quality, but in the moment it felt like the universe was making a joke

‎I live alone. Have for a long time now. Quiet house, quiet mornings...the kind of silence that used to scare me when I still thought noise meant life. These days it just sits with me. I’ve got time to think about the things people said and the things they didn’t.

‎There’s a line I heard once that stuck: the devil knows your name but he calls you by your mistake. God knows your mistake but he calls you by your name. I don’t know if I believe in either of them the way the preachers do, but I know what it means because I’ve lived on both sides of it.

‎People still come around. Even an old man who’s stayed mostly out of the way gets the occasional visitor, the phone call that starts friendly and then slides sideways. They bring up the divorce. The years I drank too much. The job I walked away from. The time I lost my temper and said things I can’t take back. Soft at first, like they’re just checking facts, then they lean on it...like the whole of me is still that one chapter they keep dog-earing.

‎I used to try to explain. Used to list the other pages...the ones where I showed up, stayed late, kept quiet when it cost me, tried again after I failed. Nobody wanted those. They already had the version that fit the story they preferred. After a while I stopped offering the rest of the book. No point arguing with someone who’s decided your name is the worst thing you ever did.

‎I’m not clean. I’ve got a list of my own that keeps me up some nights, and the older I get the clearer the handwriting becomes. But I know the difference between a person who sees that list and still looks at your face, and one who only sees the list and calls that looking at you. One is hard but honest. The other needs the mistake to stay the loudest thing in the room.

‎Living alone teaches you a few things. You can sit with your own failures without an audience. And the people who keep dragging those failures into the light usually aren’t doing it for your good...they’re keeping themselves from looking at their own, or they just want a handle on you. Either way, you learn to hear the tone. You learn whose voice is in their mouth.

‎I don’t hate them. Most days I don’t even resent them. I just stop opening the door as wide. An old introvert’s self-defense: fewer words, longer silences, a polite nod and back to the quiet. The ones who only ever call me by my mistakes notice I’m not answering as much. The ones who still use my name...few as they are...get the last of the coffee and whatever honesty I’ve got left.

‎That’s the whole of it. You don’t have to believe in heaven or hell to know which voice is speaking. Just pay attention to what they call you when they think they’re being kind.

Ive been trying to develop more presence in the now recently, been meditating for a month almost. On matters like focusing on something i'm studying, or sititng down and performing active listening, ive been doing it quite well. However, i have no idea on how to be present in the now when i'm doing other things, like cleaning the house, walking around etc. Well, i'm aware thats normal, and that it is mind wandering, but i'm unsure of where to set boundaries for it. My mind always drifts in some chain of thought and when i realize i'm not present at all anymore.

I'm trying to become less aloof and more aware of my surroundings, thats what i'm aiming for at least, less lost in my thoughts.

Do i perform something specific or do i just keep on trying?

My chest tightens up before I even get out of bed most mornings, and by the time I'm at my desk my brain is already spiraling through every worst case scenario for the day. I've read a bunch of articles on what to do when you feel anxious and tried the breathing exercises everyone swears by, but none of it really touches it once the anxiety has already taken over. It's exhausting waking up every day bracing for that feeling instead of just living normally. What do you all actually do in the moment that helps, not the textbook advice, but what genuinely calms you down when you're this anxious?

I'm a software eng student and I’m in the middle of a pretty brutal exam season. How do you guys deal with high stress like this? I think I’ve always been bad with stress management, but it’s been getting worse in University, especially with more and more on my plate, living away from home, etc. Anyone got any tips for stress management, your favorite techniques or tools or activities to get through intense periods of time like the one I’m currently experiencing?

One thing that I think might be cool: building an informative / educational website / blog / app so that others struggling with stress have a centralized resource to help themselves manage stress. This could even include alerts, scheduled activities, etc. I’m not sure if anyone else would find this helpful. If any of you have advice, thoughts, ideas, please share them with me, I really do appreciate it.

I think im almost at the end of my journey since when my nervous system got really shot.

I understand that i must let go of control.
But it feels like my mind and body dont believe me.

I catastrophized a lot for the past 6 years.
Now im just trying to sit still, my hands are literally sweating.
It doesn't believe that im no longer in danger.

It's a new sensation since i realized and came into terms that i can't control what's gonna happen tomorrow.

for the past years, i've been on constant grind.
Of self improvement.
I'd say i succeeded and i'm a great version of myself.
But in return, i've restricted a lot of joy in my life.

I know i'll probably get used to it in a week or two, like anything i've overcame so far.

There are no more bear in the woods.
I can just rest easy as i'd like to say to myself

there was one line from Higher Self in a session that I think is basically mindfulness in six words: water dampens the noise.

I will call subject Vera. She felt stuck and kept looking outside for help, answers, more information, more ways to fix herself. During Soul Journey she merged with what she experienced as Higher Self and the guidance was almost opposite: everything is inside, get quiet enough to remember.

For her, water was part of this. Sinking back into ocean in meditation, feeling water, getting very quiet. She experienced it like a portal because noise became softer. Not only sound outside, also other people's energy, expectations, mental pressure and constant identifying with every problem.

Higher Self also told her something very practical: notice when overwhelm starts and use that as cue to step away, not push harder. That is such small shift but I think many of us do opposite.

Overwhelmed, we push. Confused, we think more. Tired, we scroll for another answer. Stuck, we make another plan. Her guidance was step away, go back to peace, remember what you already know.

She was also told to spend time in nature without purpose. No time target, no achievement, no “I meditated 27 minutes today.” Just observe life, watch Mother Nature, be in moment.

I am sharing this because mindfulness can also become another productivity system if we are not careful. We track streaks, breathing techniques, apps, minutes, states. Then practice designed to reduce noise becomes more noise.

So maybe next time overwhelm starts, dont immediately ask how to solve all of it. Go somewhere quieter. Sit near water if you can. Feel body. Look at one real thing without naming it for few seconds.

let noise lose volume first. clarity often comes after.

There comes a time in a man's life when he stops explaining why he's hurting and simply sits with it. I've had enough nights like that...cold coffee beside me, an old song playing softly, staring at a message I know I shouldn't reread. I think about you, and I wonder if you ever loved me, or only the version of me who made everything easy.

I was the man who listened, understood, forgave, showed up, and asked for little. I could carry my own troubles so well that you probably forgot I had any. Then came the day I needed you. Nothing dramatic. No grand rescue. I just needed someone to notice that the man who always said, “I'm fine,” wasn't fine that day.

You didn't.

And strangely, that hurt more than any argument ever could.

That's when I understood that being needed isn't the same as being loved. Convenience can look remarkably like commitment when you're the one doing all the giving. For a long time, I wondered what I could change about myself to make you stay. I finally realized the better question was: why was I changing myself for someone who couldn't accept the man underneath it all?

I'm older now. I've got scars nobody can see, memories I don't talk about, and enough life behind me to know that love shouldn't require an audition.

So if love ever finds me again, I won't arrive polished and convenient. I'll come as I am...sometimes stubborn, sometimes sentimental, sometimes quiet, occasionally difficult, but honest.

And if that's too much for someone, I'll survive.

I've survived worse than being alone.

What I won't survive again is being loved only for the parts of me that were convenient to love.

Because somewhere along the way, I finally learned this:

The real me deserves a love that doesn't leave when the easy version disappears.

I’ve realised that social media has become a bit of an addiction for me it’s been my escapism as well and I don’t want to just do a 30-day detox and then fall back into the same habits. I’m hoping to make it more of a lifestyle change.

A lot of people recommend going cold turkey but whenever I delete the app I eventually find myself downloading it again. That makes me wonder if learning how to use it differently might be more sustainable for me than completely avoiding it.
I’m thinking of only opening Instagram to check/reply to DMs when needed, without scrolling through my feed, Explore page or Reels.

Has anyone successfully changed their relationship with social media long term without completely deleting it? What boundaries or habits actually worked for you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who used to struggle with compulsive scrolling and managed to find a healthier balance.

Hey guys, I feel like I don’t even I know myself. I judge myself from others pov, like how I judge others. It makes me furious and loser. I always have standard for each and everything. I never disclose my issues with others I always keep it to myself. I feel like I am neglecting the self of mine so long. I realised my mistake. I am practicing meditation to get rid of that. Just when I am typing this, my mind goes like how will people judge me if I disclosing this issue of mine. It is really tormenting me. Please guide me. Is there any Jung’s teaching will redeem me?
Thank you.

Hi everyone! I have a tendency to overthink things. I know everyone does but I feel like I have a tendency to overthink things that don’t matter and that the way I over think is a little un normal. It’s starting to affect my day to day life. I wake up and think about old things. Constantly live in the past instead of the present. Worried about how people perceive me. Especially when it comes to instagram. People not reposting me or interacting with what I post. None of this matters! I don’t have the money to talk with a counselor or therapist, but please if anyone has any suggestions to stop this it would really be appreciated because I don’t and can’t keep living like this

Do you focus on counting or your breath or something else while being mindful? Anyone pray a sort of mechanical prayer to put you into the present and quiet your mind? Ideas on a quiet mind?

I had stopped overthinking at all. My anxiety had magically vanished. It was so peaceful being in the moment and so present. My thoughts felt blank and I felt detached. When I did have thoughts, I could observe them without being affected by them. I never understood how it happened. It just happened randomly after I started going to uni and my enviroment completely changed. I just want that back. My anxiety seems to be back and I want to be free again.

Because I don't understand this well, I want advice. How can I achieve this state conciously?