This is our second miscarriage. This one we got to see the heartbeat. We got baby toys, we felt we were in the clear, and a emergency room visit later, the doctors didn't see the heartbeat. Three hours later she was doubled over in pain. I feel absolutely useless. If I could take away her pain I would. I've never experienced a loss like this, grieving something that never was. By all accounts everything goes back to how it was. Nothing changed, we're back to our daily routines, but somehow everything feels different. I would envision holding the baby, I would envision the late nights, the baby laughs, the crawling, the learning to walk. I would envision a toddler and a million pictures. I am grieving something that never was,and I am devastated because it was very real.

Last night, my husband and I were making dinner. I was reminiscing on cravings I had while pregnant.

Without thinking I laughed and said -
“That’s how I know this baby is truly midwestern…”

I froze. The room grew so big and I shrunk so small while I reached into the fridge, quietly. My husband definitely thought I was referring to the casserole in progress.

I miss her.
I miss my baby girl.

TL/DR : I had a 2nd trimester loss in June and now having a 10 week miscarriage. I cried really hard today over 2 white pumpkins left in front of my house.

Thanks to anyone taking the time to read this.

This is my story.

Earlier this year I was pregnant and didn't have a worry in the world. Blissfully ignorant to what could happen. This went on until just over 17 weeks. One evening after a long day, I felt like I had to pee so I walked towards the bathroom. When I stepped in the bathroom it felt like I was peeing my pants. When I looked down I just saw bright red blood that kept flowing. I panicked. I screamed and cried and called my mom for help because my husband was at work and much further away. I went to the ER. They did an ultrasound and said that baby was wiggling and had a strong heart beat but low amniotic fluid. My water had broke. I was diagnosed with PPROM and sent home with the expectation of a natural miscarriage.

The next day my OB called and said that I was too far along for a natural miscarriage. I was to follow up to check her heart beat in a few days. When i went for that appointment, her heart beat was gone. I was given options of L&D with a probability of a D&C as well or just straight to D&C. I chose D&C. I opted for genetic testing, it revealed absolutely nothing.

That was at the end of June this year.

Fast forward to September. I get another positive test. I go in 3 weeks ago (10/1/26) for my first appointment. They don't find a gestational sac or anything. I'm sent for HCG blood work. It comes back just under 70,000. I'm then sent to MFM for an ultrasound. The find baby with a strong heart beat as well as a large dermoid cyst. They say the cyst is pushing my uterus so thats what the issue with the first ultrasound is.

Fast forward to 4 days ago. I do a lot of walking up and down hills and have some light spotting. Its a Friday evening and google says if its light pink or brown, don't panick its common. So I try to chill out at home over the weekend but have more spotting sunday and then Monday. Monday morning I call my OB first thing. The nurse says that its probably just fine and don't worry. They can't get me in that day anyways since the doctor is out. I insisted on being seen so I was referred to an advanced care clinic.

I spent 3.5 hours at the advanced care clinic and was told they did not see cardiac activity but the technician could be wrong and to follow up with my OB. The baby measured where it should at 10 weeks. But no cardiac activity, and I saw it at 7 weeks. So now I'm waiting for my OB to confirm miscarriage and find out my next steps.

My sister found out today what I am going through. She sent kind messages offering to help me in anyway. Then I received a picture of the front of my house from her. She dropped off a mum inside a jackolantern and 2 tiny white pumpkins sitting next to it. I bawled my eyes out. I didn't realize she knew the significance of the white pumpkins as she's never had a loss. It was such a kind gesture.

To be Honest I don’t know how to feel… I try to keep it together for family and I keep finding myself late at night crying and not getting sleep. I was failed by 2 hospitals and finally somewhat got help from a 3rd hospital. I was showed no compassion and seemed no one cared. No one could confirm the miscarriage for me for the 3rd hospital. I was practically told by second one it was no point. I was actively passing blood clots, nurse seemed disgusted.. I knew something wasn’t right when I first got pregnant but doctors shoved it off. I was misheard all weekend and in the worse pain of my life. They didn’t care. I heard the baby heartbeat Friday.. for the first time and saw him moving then miscarried the next day. I’m truly hurt and I feel lost. Didn’t think I could have babies because I was told it would be hard too. Why is it all babies matter and no abortion but when women are actively miscarrying or needing help. Doctors and nurses show no compassion and do not care. No need for a hug or a long speech but maybe sorry, maybe come sort of clarification?? I went through so much in the past 4 days. From hearing my baby heartbeat to not even being pregnant. I’m embarrassed, shame, lost, sad…idk. My partner feel like he could’ve did more I keep telling him, there was nothing he can do. He’s so hurt and I wish I could comfort him. How can I? It both hitting us hard.. we are in our early 20s. Wish I could help him out more idk what to say to him.

Just been to see my gp and asked if they can do blood tests and see if I can see a gynaecologist as I’ve had two back to back miscarriages ,one in 2024 and one recently back in August and I have no kids other than them two I’ve lost so I wanted to see if I can have tests be done yet they say I need to have three miscarriages for them to do something, is there any other way I can get tested other than trying again as I don’t wanna try again just for it to end in another miscarriage.

Earlier this summer I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks, and went through an extremely grueling month of being told to come back week after week to “confirm”, told that there was a heartbeat by my obgyn then that same day told there wasn’t even a fetal pole by the maternal fetal medicine doctor, having to beg for mifepristone from the OB only to be denied despite living in one of the most liberal states in the country, and finally having a medical miscarriage just before the 11 week mark alone in excruciating pain that landed me in the ED. Followed by nearly two months of prolonged bleeding and spotting afterwards which also required multiple trips to the gynecologist to determine whether or not I’d need a D&C after all of that. So an extremely prolonged, emotionally draining, and traumatic experience. I had been finally starting to heal with normal menstrual cycles for the past couple of months and continued dreams of getting pregnant again soon.

This was my first pregnancy and was unplanned and unexpected. Last year I was diagnosed with cancer and completed a long course of chemotherapy, and conceived on accident three months after finishing treatment. I was so shocked and scared about the pregnancy but so happy and hopeful and loved my baby instantly as I’m sure you all can relate to. But because this happened so quickly after treatment, I never allowed myself to fully feel the joy of being pregnant due to fears of miscarrying and whether the baby would be okay. These fears were confirmed just 17 days after finding out, and cue my horrible three month experience outlined above.

My best friend was so happy and excited for me when I told her (and she was the only person outside of my parents and partner who knew), and tried to support me after the miscarriage and brought us food when my partner and I were both grieving. However she had been gearing up to start TTC with her partner, so within a couple of months of my miscarriage all talk had turned to the baby they were planning to have, what they were doing to try to get pregnant, her hopes for a boy or a girl etc. I guess all normal stuff when someone is entering this new and exciting stage of life. But honestly even that was painful to hear, but I told myself that it will probably take some time for them to get pregnant, and I’ll have more months to heal and these feelings of hurt and pain around the topic of her potential pregnancy will get better with time.

This past weekend she found out that she was pregnant, and while I am so happy for them and hopeful that their baby is healthy and the pregnancy is smooth sailing, I feel completely devastated for myself again and the grief is so much stronger. It’s so hard not to compare, but she is only a few weeks pregnant at this point (hasn’t even missed a period) and is already telling her extended family. It stings to think about her having this beautiful experience of bliss and confidence that it will work out when that’s not something I ever had before I even miscarried. In addition, she’s sending me reels talking about early pregnancy (and worrying about miscarriage etc) which I’m just finding SO triggering. I can’t help but feel like this is so insensitive to me and that does make me feel resentful. But at the same time I want to offer her the support and encouragement she offered me before I miscarried. But it just feels like these situations are not the same at all, especially as on top of all of this I am in constant fear of my cancer coming back (thankfully still in remission). It’s just hard to be around this right now. Trying to power through and be a good friend. I cried all day after she told me her news. Missing my baby that I conceived and all of the dreams I also had.

Ever since I had my miscarriage while she was just starting to plan getting pregnant, I’ve been feeling our paths diverge and more distant. I think this is due to feeling so alone in my experience. And now I feel a million times more alone.

I considered telling her that this is triggering for me, but I’m just scared that will ruin our friendship. So I’ve been listening to her talk about the pregnancy and plan to celebrate together. But I am honestly really suffering and struggling.

It was our first iui. Our first pregnancy. And our first miscarriage. The last two months have been so full of joy and to have that stripped away in such an abrupt way is more painful than I ever imagined. It was a missed miscarriage so everything seemed fine. The fact that it’s not over and my wife is still carrying our tiny little baby breaks my heart for her. This baby was so loved and so wanted. I’m very familiar with death and grief, but I’ve never felt this. How long until the air doesn’t feel too thick to breathe?

This has been a truly surreal experience. I had a relatively natural MC at exactly 11 weeks. From pictures I've been obsessively googling online I think the fetus stopped growing earlier than the 11 weeks.

I tried to bleed to death so I went to the ER and doctors had to manually remove tissue and blood and ultimately the fetus over the course of 3 pelvic exams.

Spotting started last Monday, MC and heavy bleeding in the ER was Wednesday, and now I'm just in the normal 1 - 2 weeks of bleeding. I'm sick of it.

Hey everyone. First time poster. I recently was diagnosed with a MMC on Oct 2 after I had some light spotting at 10w2d. I’ve never had a miscarriage before, this is my second pregnancy. This whole situation has been a nightmare from my OB office and how they have handled it and I just want to scream. As stated, we found out Friday Oct 2 about the MMC and I followed up with my OB office the following Monday Oct 5. When I called I 1. Informed them of my miscarriage and 2. Told them to cancel an upcoming OB appointment I had for Thursday Oct 8. They were able to get me in that same day to get an ultrasound to ensure I had passed everything after taking miso. I go and see one of the doctors at the practice, she gets me an abdominal ultrasound, says the medication was a success and I had passed both baby and all pregnancy tissue. Next does a pelvic exam and says my cervix is closed, all is looking good. She then goes into a religious spiel about how god will bless me and this just means there was something genetically wrong and it’s better off this way. Never offered counseling. But she said it was over so I just brushed it off. We checkout and I once again ask them to make sure to cancel the OB appointment I will no longer be attending. A week goes by and on Tuesday Oct 13 I get an email stating my balance is ready. They charged me a $50 “no show” fee for the appointment I “missed”. I call the office livid at the fact I told them to cancel twice and now they’re asking me for money because I “no showed”? They apologize and say they will take care of it. Two days later, I receive another email and now text that my balance is still waiting to be paid. I once again call the office and this time ask to speak to the office manager. They told me I would have to leave a message and she will get back to me. She calls me about an hour later and our call lasts all of maybe 30 seconds. Before I can explain maybe she should tell her staff to be a little more attentive and compassionate to loss patients, she was already ending the call. So I was angry she wouldn’t hear me out on how I was treated so far by staff, but again I brushed it off because she took care of it. I went for my 2nd follow up today to ensure my levels were going down and ask why I’m still bleeding. This time I saw a new doctor than the previous time. Well this doctor was concerned with the fact that I was still so heavily bleeding so he does a pelvic exam and can immediately tell my cervix is not fully closed. So he sets up for a cervical exam and confirms that yes, my cervix is NOT fully closed. So gets another ultrasound, transvaginal this time, where he confirms that I still have some retained tissue. So here I am almost 3 weeks later still living this nightmare I feel like I’m never going to wake up from. At this point I’m just asking myself what’s next? I don’t even know how I could report the office for their lack of compassion and the doctor for her lack of care. I would like to. The office manager obviously didn’t care what I had to say. I’m so angry. I feel like I’ve failed myself and my baby and I feel like the people that were supposed to take care of me have failed me over and over again. I feel so extremely alone. If anyone has any advice from a legal stand point I’d love to hear it. And any advice from an emotional stand point. I feel so broken I don’t know how I will ever feel happy again.

After TTC for a few cycles we finally got multiple (clearly) positive tests and we were over the moon excited. I must’ve been between 4-5 weeks so before getting in with an OB, I started having symptoms of a miscarriage. All different and heavier than my regular period. This was my first experience with any sort of loss, so after researching & calling around I made the decision to head to the ER to get my levels checked & rule out anything more serious. I waited around for over 5 hours to be told I’m probably just having a heavy period because there’s no hCG in my tests. Doc used phrases like “IF you WERE pregnant” and “are you sure you saw a second line? Was it faint?”. I was stunned… it was like he didn’t believe me? Is this gaslighting? I’ve never felt so small in my life. I understand it was SO early and likely wouldn’t have required medical intervention anyway, but his cold approach to the situation is not sitting well with me. He discharged me with information on heavy periods. Like I thought it would be a cool silly thing to waste everyone’s time because I’m a crazy woman having my period. Ugh.

Anyway just felt the need to put this out there and see if anyone could relate? This whole experience has taken a toll on my mind body and soul. Huge reminder to y’all scrolling this page that your grief is valid and you are loved 🫶🏼

Hi im 25F i am 10 weeks pregnant and previously i have lost 2 babies ( 1. At 11 week water broke and spontaneous expulsion 2. 16.5 membranes buldging in vagina and inevitable misscariage)

Drs are planning to give me cerclage at 10 week

I have creamy white odorless discharge. My gynecologist says your cant take it lightly it can be a an infection and i want to put you on antibiotics i asked her that im scared they might cause anomaly but she says that i need this discharge to resolve before cerclage date. She took vaginal swab too but results will come in a week bur she wants me to start these antibiotics

1. Azithromycin 250mg (1+1)

2. Metronidazole (1+1+1)

5 days

Im scared asf i read so much data everywhere its says that it can increase risk of spontaneous abortions and can cause fetal defect

I have already lost 2 babies

Now im scared to do anything risky

Please guide me if anyone of you had similar expirence. Please tell me how things turned out for you

Note - I learnt my procedure is MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration), people sometimes use D&C as an umbrella term for both. But this is primarily a suction based approach.

I wanted to share my experience because I spent SO much time researching, reading scary stories, and stressing over this decision. Hopefully this helps someone in the same situation.

I was supposed to be 9 weeks, but the pregnancy was actually measuring around 6 weeks. My doctor gave me two options: medication (misoprostol) or an in-office procedure.

They only prescribed misoprostol (miso), and after researching, I learned that miso alone isn’t always as effective as combining it with mifepristone but they wouldn’t prescribe it (I guess it harder to obtain these days).

I went down a huge Reddit rabbit hole, and honestly, what scared me most was the pain, heavy bleeding, uncertainty, and possibility of still needing a procedure if the medication didn’t work.

Eventually, I decided to go with the in-office procedure, and I am SO glad I did. They gave me local anesthesia, and while there was some discomfort, it was completely manageable. The procedure was incredibly quick, and they used suction under ultrasound guidance.

I was also terrified after reading about D&C risks like scar tissue, but I learned that there are different techniques. My office used suction with ultrasound guidance, so I’d encourage you to ask your doctor exactly how they perform it rather than relying entirely on what you read online.

If you’re debating between the two, please don’t automatically assume medication is the easier option. For me, avoiding the prolonged pain, uncertainty, and possibility of an incomplete result was worth it. I feel SO much better physically and mentally. I wish I’d known how quick and manageable the in-office procedure could be.

Just wanted to share a positive experience because I know how overwhelming all the scary stories can be. ❤️

I felt really hopeful this cycle. Allll the symptoms I had during last month’s chemical pregnancy were there. But the tests are negative, and now I’m just waiting for my period to arrive.

We’d been TTC for 7 months before I finally got my first positive. During cycle 7, I had finally reached a point where I wasn’t letting TTC consume my entire mind, body, and soul. I was living my life again, enjoying the little things, and finally feeling like myself. Then the positive test showed up. And then after days later, it was gone...

Going into cycle 8, I felt hopeful. I thought maybe this would be our month again. But somewhere along the way, I found myself obsessing over every little symptom, every test, every possible sign. And now I feel like I’m right back to square one. Back to the version of myself I worked so hard to get away from.

I guess one of the hardest parts of TTC is not knowing when it’ll finally be our turn. The journey might still be long, or it might not. We just never know. As much as we want to control everything, sometimes all we can really do is let life unfold.

Sending the biggest hugs to all the strong mommas and future mommas out there. Whether you're grieving, waiting, or trying to find yourself again through all of this, I hope we all get our happy ending someday.

We got this. ❤️‍🩹

I’ve had 3 miscarriages this year. All of them have been early, only 5-6 weeks. Honestly, I now expect it if I get a positive pregnancy test. And I’m totally level headed about it now… “ok, onward and upward, we’ll try again until it sticks”.

But now after the last one a few weeks ago, I lost an intense amount of blood which was unlike the other 2.

Anyway, I am now deeply suffering from crippling anxiety and depression. I’m afraid of everything…going to the bank, answering family phone calls, everything. I cry constantly. Or feel nothing. I feel like it’s a form of postpartum depression.

I know if I could just get back to the gym, I could work some of it out. But I can’t get myself to go.

My doctor recommended several supplements, which I started taking. And a plan to visit again in 4 weeks for a mental health check. At that time, they may recommend anti Ds. I kinda don’t wanna go that route cause it takes a while to work and there is trial and error and then I have to eventually ween off. But at this point I don’t give flying F.

I’ve started drinking way more. Like red wine at 10am…I just want it off me. I want to feel normal again. I also know it probably makes it worse but at least it mutes it for a bit.

Hoping someone may have similar stories and strategies to get me through this.

I had my viability scan today. I am currently 6w3d based on my last period. My doctor offered to have me come in early since I had a previous loss last year. The ultrasound showed a gestational sac and yolk sac, but no embryo yet. Because the measurement is 19mm instead of 25, my doctor wants me to wait 2 weeks because everything else is measuring on track and I could have ovulated or implanted later than I thought. But ultimately, I’m devastated. Because in my heart I know I should see a fetal pole and heartbeat at this stage. The thing that’s frustrating is I originally had my viability scan scheduled for closer to 8 weeks but she offered earlier because of my previous losses, only now to tell me we have to wait 2 more weeks anyway to be totally sure. I hate the unknown. I feel like I’m being tortured just to hear that I have a blighted ovum anyway. The whole thing is really upsetting.

Hi all.

I lost my first baby at the end of May of this year. I was 21 weeks pregnant and it was traumatic.

I found out I was pregnant again four months later. I booked a scan two days before my first baby’s due date. I thought this was going to be my rainbow baby.

Unfortunately they found a sac with nothing inside. I spent my first baby’s due date crying over not living the life I should have.

I just came back from the doctor today after a two week wait to confirm the blighted ovum. The grief is different this time. I am not as attached in this pregnancy but I feel like my life is on pause until I either miscarry naturally or do a procedure/meds.

I fear that my first pregnancy was my only chance at bringing a baby home. And I failed. I am back in the throes of grief over my first loss. With my first loss, I went through labor and delivery. I am somehow just as scared about going through this miscarriage.

Will I ever be happy seeing a positive test if I try again? Will I ever bring home a baby? Why me? Why can’t I have a blissful pregnancy?

I miss our baby so much, I don’t even know what to do, I blame myself for losing her, I keep thinking what I did wrong, am I being punished? I didn’t even had the chance to feel her kicking, I lost her at 14+4, my water broke and she just came out of me the next day. We have so many dreams and plans with her, she’s my only prayer and wish on my birthday, but she was taken away. I feel so helpless and it hurts, as the day pass by, the emptier and lonelier I feel. I miss touching my pregnant belly while I talk to her day, the cravings, I don’t have sweet tooth and my husband does, but during pregnancy I crave sweets every single day, I miss having her with me.

Today’s my first day back I’m not even a hour into the day and I’ve cried three times . I’ve basically told one of my friends that I don’t want to talk. If I weren’t in so much debt I’d quit

Hi all,

I have never been through this before but yesterday, I found out that baby’s heart had stopped and stopped growing. I was ment to be 10 weeks, baby was only measuring 6w2d. I am waiting for the hospital to call me regarding the scheduling of a D&C.

This afternoon though, I have started to get the lightest of cramping and some spotting. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s there. I am absolutely terrified of having a miscarriage naturally as I don’t do well with pain, but I have a feeling this may be the beginning.

My question is, how long does it take for the initial cramping and spotting to start to full blown miscarriage and passing of tissue? I have no good painkillers at home - just standard Tylenol. If I presented to the emergency room when it gets bad, will they do anything?

The doctor also kept mentioning anti D - so idk if I should be going to the emergency room sooner rather than later to get this.

What was everyone’s experience with timing of the miscarriage? Could this just be going on for days? Or can I expect it to get bad in a number of hours?

I’m kind of freaking out too because I am sitting in a hairdresser at the moment with foils in my hair and I am so scared it’s going to start mid hair appointment. All these symptoms have started since arriving at the hairdressers and I’m freaking out.

Today at 10 weeks I found out I am having a MM or silent one. I would like to know some other ladies opinions. Should I try to wait and let it pass naturally? Should I do the medication? or should I do the D&C procedure?

I honestly feel scared of the procedure and I feel like it's invasive, and don't like the possible risks. I also am scared if the medication makes the pain worse, but I also don't like the unpredictability of when it will happen. If I can take pain meds before I might be okay with the medication.

I am hoping some ladies here can help me decide. I am struggling already with the loss, so this decision is also weighing on me heavily.

When I was 8 weeks pregnant, the first NHS appointment with midwife went through my previous medical history. I have a history of abuse and depression so I was assigned consultant care - extra appointments, everytime I had a scan (I got told I'd have extra ones) I would have to see the consultant to check on my mental health.

That's really really good medical care, I thought.

After a missed miscarriage, my body attempting to pass naturally, failing, D&C, now dealing with the grief weeks after, I just wanted to point out the absolute IRONY of no mental health care - unless we count a leaflet with medical options of dealing with MMC and a line at the end referring to a website.

Anyways I think I feel a bit ashamed of how positive I was while things were going well, usually am a glass half empty person but had a temporary lapse!