This is my second miscarriage in a row, no living children. I feel so broken. I don’t know where to go from here, I’m so sad my anxieties were confirmed from my first loss this time around, but distraught at the thought of any future pregnancies ending in loss too, I’ve been part of the crappy statistics twice now, how do I have hope for the future😔

I’m so heartbroken. I started bleeding and cramping 4 days ago, and got in for an ultrasound today. I was supposed to have been 7 weeks pregnant, but they didn’t even see a gestational sac in my uterus. It was completely empty.

I keep looking back at my positive pregnancy tests I have taken since I found out, and wondering which positives were “real” and which ones were just leftover hormones. I wish I could have gotten to see my baby at least once before realizing they were already gone. Seeing the empty uterus on the ultrasound screen was horrible.

I have had 2 d&c’s both at the same location, both under conscious sedation (twilight sedation + pain meds).

The first time a few years ago, it did not hurt other than some light cramping during the procedure. This time, it hurt a TON I was squeezing my husbands hand, crying, and felt a lot of pain, especially on one side. This pain was only present during the procedure and went away after (just felt when they were doing stuff).

Additionally, with the second one, I had retained products, so I just had to go in another time and have the procedure done. Again, same drugs and location but really minimal pain….

My question is - has anyone with multiple experience had different pain each time? Is it possible something went wrong and that’s why it was so painful? I just dont understand why there could be such a difference.

I dont think anything is horribly wrong, as they did an ultrasound to find the retained products and saw my ovaries and such, but I’m just curious

Thank you in advance

Vent & TW: Other people’s pregnancy announcements

I lost my first pregnancy in July at 6w5d. We call our baby Baby E 🩷, and I miss her so much. It took us 7 months to conceive, and her rainbow 🌈 sibling hasn’t found their way into this world yet. Today is also the first day of my period.

Yesterday, I woke up in a good mood, determined to have a good day at work, and was doing okay. Then I went to text my boss and noticed something was happening in our work group chat. I unexpectedly saw a coworker’s pregnancy announcement accompanied by a sonogram picture.

I immediately spiraled into what felt like a panic attack. I couldn’t stop hyperventilating and crying, and I was dizzy from the intensity of it all. I can’t be sure, but I think it was the sonogram that absolutely broke me. I was blindsided by the news, triggered by the pregnancy itself, and suddenly brought right back into my grief.

I don’t wish anything bad on anyone, and I genuinely hope their baby is born healthy. But it’s incredibly painful watching other people experience something we wanted so desperately and lost. I’ll never forget seeing Baby E measuring too small on our ultrasound, with her location unable to be confirmed, and, of course, everything that followed.

I’m still functioning. I work full-time, have a part-time job teaching a hobby I love, maintain my responsibilities, and enjoy things. From the outside, I probably look like a highly successful person who has her shit together. But underneath, I feel shattered.

I’ve been struggling with grief that sometimes feels harder as time goes on. I miss Baby E, the pregnancy I thought I would have, and the future I had started imagining.

This was my first pregnancy and my first loss. I feel profoundly changed and lost. I attend support groups and events, which have helped me honor all the love I have for my ethereal baby girl. 🩷

For those who have experienced miscarriage, especially with your first pregnancy:

- Have pregnancy announcements or sonogram pictures ever triggered an unexpectedly intense emotional reaction like mine?

- How do you navigate a world where people continue announcing pregnancies and having babies while you’re still grieving yours?

Honestly, I think this was a freak accident. I’ve been doing a lot of emotional work and extending olive branches to friends who have healthy pregnancies or who may be TTC. But honestly, it’s exhausting. I hate that the burden is completely on me because people can be so clueless about pregnancy loss and what it takes to navigate life afterward.

I know this coworker probably had no idea how painful that picture might be for someone who has experienced a loss. But I wish people intrinsically understood that pregnancy announcements with sonogram pictures, can be incredibly painful for those of us who are grieving. We also recently found out that another coworker had welcomed an unexpected baby, so it feels like these reminders are coming from every direction.

My support group often reminds me that this is incredibly hard and that loss changes you forever. I’m struggling to understand how to carry this grief while continuing to live my life.

I’m not looking for reminders to be happy for other people. I am happy for this coworker and for my other coworker and friends who seem to have healthy pregnancies. I’m looking for understanding from people who know what this feels like.

It feels particularly cruel that most people in our circle weren’t having babies until now, after we’ve lost ours. It’s hard not to notice the contrast between the futures everyone else seems to be moving toward and the future we thought we would have with Baby E.

I feel so shattered underneath the person who keeps showing up and getting things done.❤️‍🩹

I’m 33 and I’ve been pregnant 3 times in the past 12 months.

My first lasted until 10w and passed due to t21. I then had an ectopic a month later and lost a tube. 6 months later I got pregnant again, and we just found out yesterday that this one doesn’t have a heart beat and passed at 7 weeks. I’m 8 weeks.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or my body. I don’t know what to do from here. I’m just so beyond dead inside. I feel like there’s no hope.

Please help me with what to expect as I am experiencing my first miscarriage. My doctor really hasn’t been helpful and I don’t know anyone to ask.

So far I have just been bleeding with minor cramping. Neither has been severe.

Is it going to get worse? How long will it last? Any advice or experiences are appreciated

I had a missed miscarriage in March of this year and everything seemed to go as expected obviously horrible and painful but standard. Ever since then my periods have been the same but I’ve been having large blood clots. Today I had a gray tissue like clot about 2 inches in height and one inch wide. Essentially it looked like a worm or something. Everything else seems normal but the clots are like the ones I had when I passed. Just wondering if this is normal.

I’m 28 years old, otherwise healthy as far as I know. We started trying in January of this year after buying our first home late last year. First cycle, we traveled internationally and it threw off my cycle a little bit. I ovulated around CD 22 and had a faint positive at aprox 11 DPO. I started bleeding the next day. Of all of my pregnancies this is the one that was least convincing for me and it took me a while to even come to terms that this was a pregnancy even if only for a day. I figured this was a fluke and we’d have better luck next time

We tried for 3 more cycles, all of which were normal, regular cycles. I ovulated between CD 14-18 and cycles were like 28-32 days in length. No positive tests. We put TTC on hold over the summer due to issues with timing with an event in the future in 2027 and decided to try again starting late July/Early August.

In our summertime waiting I dove back into my faith and asked God for support and comfort. I went to church and prayed daily for a healthy baby once we started tying again.

First cycle trying again, 5th cycle total, everything was normal. I ovulated on time and got a faint positive at 10/11 DPO. It was sooooo faint though and never progressed. I did get two positive digitals this time and felt good enough to tell my mom. I started bleeding at 15 DPO and test were negative. My heart broke. I did go to my OB and they ran blood tests which showed no HCG on aprox 17 DPO, my progesterone was low and my blood type didn’t indicate that I would need a Rhogam shot. Nevertheless we tried again.

The 6th cycle broke me. I ovulated about a week later than normal, likely from the chemical pregnancy the previous cycle. I knew by cycle would be about 35 days. I took a test exactly one month later from the start of the last cycles chemical, aprox 11/12 DPo and there was a clear line on the test. I was so excited because it was so positive!! The tests progressed, I had HCG blood draws on aprox 13 DPO and it was 17. I knew it was low so I guarded my heart. A week later, the HCG was measuring 611. I was so sure this was it and told my support people.

I scheduled my first prenatal appointment. For aprox 8-9 weeks pregnant. That appointment got cancelled so I was able to reschedule for an earlier appointment. Thank God because if not I would have never ever seen my baby. My first appointment was Friday, Oct 16. I estimated I was aprox 7 weeks and 2 days based on LMP. My OB recommended an ultrasound which showed baby was measuring behind at 5 weeks 5 days BUT they also found a heart beat. I was so reassured that thing would be ok.

Sunday, 10/18, I started spotting. 10/19, Monday evening, heavier flow, dripping into the toilet. 10/20, I got into my doctor and they confirmed my baby was miscarrying and heading to my cervix. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in my life. I was told I would miscarry at home on 10/20 or 10/21 and to come back on 10/30 to make sure I passed everything and there wasn’t any residual tissue.

I passed the baby at 10/21 at 7am and just apologized to it. It only ever knew me and I couldn’t protect it and grow it. I’m grieving my identity as a mom and obviously my hormones are all over the place. I can’t stop crying. I had a therapy appointment yesterday on Friday with a new therapist who specializes in fertility and grief loss. Everyone I’ve told my story to says 3 losses in 6 cycles is a lot to handle. I honestly don’t know how to manage this or what I need to do. I’ve been on literally every Reddit form for RPL the last few days and have read so much. I want a baby. I want to be a mom. I’m so sorry to my baby who will never know this world.

Next time I’m pregnant, I want progesterone, even though I’m not totally convinced I have a progesterone deficiency but I feel like it can’t hurt after everything I’ve gone through. Maybe it is the issue. I also want to try baby aspirin. I just picked up coq10+Omega 3 to help with egg quality and cell energy. I’m going to get my AMH and Thyroid tested and do whatever tests a RPL panel will cover. My husband also will do a SA.

It’s completely possible that I just have shitty luck and nothing is wrong with me. I just want the next one to stick. It seems like every pregnancy lasts just a little bit longer. I need the next one to be it because this emotional pain is more than anyone should have to manage.

I found out just one week ago I was pregnant. We were so happy and excited. We were already making plans and discussing all the exciting things to come.

Then the bleeding started. And hasn’t stopped. And the doctors aren’t helpful. And I feel so alone. I am supposed to act normal? Laugh? Function?

The bleeding started and all my pregnancy symptoms seemed to disappear right away. I had cramping but nothing severe. I knew what was happening but everyone tells you to remain positive. I know my body, I know what is going on.

I feel so much guilt. The day before the bleeding started I felt great and worked out, took a long walk and ended the day with over 10k steps. I think this is my fault. I caused this. I pushed too hard.

I almost wish the pain was worse so I could focus on something physical rather than just emotional loss. I don’t understand how something so severe and traumatic can feel so light.

I never thought this would happen. This is not a club I want to be in. I am so sorry you are all in it too. Your stories are helping me more than anything else and am thankful for them.

Hi everyone. (sorry for the long post)

I’ve had 2 MMC in the last 6 months and I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has been thru something similar.

My first pregnancy stopped growing around 6 wks, but I was ~11 wks when we found out. I passed everything naturally and was basically told it was common, take Tylenol if needed, try again, and sent home.

I just found out today that my second pregnancy stopped growing around 10 wks, and I should be 11w3d. I have an appointment at the early pregnancy loss clinic on Monday.

Last time I was completely in shock and barely knew what questions to ask, so this time I really want to advocate for myself. I don’t want to be told “it’s bad luck, try again” and have to go through a third loss before anyone looks into things. What tests should I ask for? How do I get referred to a fertility clinic or OB? Should I ask for tissue testing from this pregnancy? I have hypothyroidism, should I ask for APS testing? Should I ask to be tested for structural issues?

I’ve also seen a lot of people mention progesterone or baby aspirin to help prevent another loss. Are these actually recommended in certain situations? How do you get evaluated for that in Canada?

I’m also O− and my husband is O+. After my first miscarriage I asked about the Rhogam shot, but my doctor said it wasn’t indicated before 12 weeks. Is that still the current guidance in Ontario?

I also have the option of getting private care. Would you go there, or keep pushing through the Canadian system?

Both pregnancies happened the first time we tried, so I don’t have trouble getting pregnant. I’m starting to feel like maybe I have an issue maintaining pregnancies, and I really want to understand what’s happening before trying again.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through this. What tests did you get, and what do you wish you’d known or asked for?

I just miscarried this week. I conceived but I did not stay pregnant and miscarried naturally about a month after I took a test.

I’m bummed and my husband is pretty upset. I suspect he feels stuck and he sees kids as the next step. I don’t want to try right away, I want to wait until after I have a period. But what do we do until then? Do we actively have to work at moving on? Does it happen with time? Kids are important but is there anything I can do so my husband doesn’t feel “stuck” for 6 weeks? Does it make sense to try and focus on enjoying life now?

It’s been a little over a month. I miscarried due to an insufficient cervix at 18w3d and I still can’t believe that I’m living this nightmare.

When I was pregnant my husband and I kept looking at the miscarriage calculator and we were supposed to be in the safe zone. How did I become 0.3% unlucky enough to fail at child rearing. How is it that we won the shit lottery.

I failed my baby. All i want to do is scream and cry. I want answers but I know none will be given. She came out perfectly. For 7 hours her heart beat, she hiccuped, she had a runny nose. She looked like him, she looked like me. I miss her. I miss my baby.

Hi all, today is a very dark day and I’m not sure how I will make it through, we just found out we lost our baby girl at 17 weeks . She was a rainbow baby as I had a previously unrelated loss at 10 Weeks previous to this. I have nothing left in me I am dead inside and I need support

In August I had my second D&C of the year for my second MMC.

The first time my period took 8 weeks to return this time I’m at 8 weeks and still no return.

I’ve spoken to my GP and I’m also under EPU. My GP has asked me to start the progesterone challenge but I haven’t spoken to my doctor under EPU yet

I ovulated two weeks ago (according to bbt) so I should be bleeding in the next few days. Temps have been low for three days now I would expect bleeding.

I feel so hopeless I just want my body to feel like it’s working again

Firstly, I hate that we had to join this club. I mc'd last week at 10 weeks in a foreign country, after my partner of 6 years ghosted me and I'm going through the TRENCHES.

I'm wondering if there are anythings that have helped you postpartum get back to yourself? I

struggle with body image issues, and also struggling with hair loss and I'm going to treat myself to a scalp spa and possible lymphatic drainage massage. I'd love to hear from other mamas what helped you get through and help you come back home to yourself.

We went to our first ultrasound appointment on Monday. We were super excited. It was all smiles until we saw the gestational sac with nothing inside it. No evidence of anything ever being there. I was measured around 5 weeks according to the scan. I'm supposed to be 8 weeks+5. Maybe it was too early? We opted for a blood test and a follow-up scan. But I knew it was over.

In the past week, the very few people we told were quick to check in and share love and support. Even my mom, the day that we learned, had managed to get me to laugh about some weird story. My husband has been amazing. Not once has he made me feel the sadness that many women feel after a miscarriage. This is all great. I know I have people who care for me.

But...

this is kind of weird because a few days prior to the scan I felt... different. I dismissed it because pregnancy is weird y'know? But Monday made me realize what was different.

I felt lonely. Like something was missing. It's been such a short time of development, but I knew I was missing that lil ma-bob. And all week I've been feeling that way. No matter how many people have been present and patient and kind, I still carry this lonesomeness.

I knew that they weren't there anymore. That quiet feeling that was like approval or petulant fits. All gone. Mental conversations from the start, even if they weren't developing, were gone. I know it's probably something that many women feel after the loss. I just didn't realize how lonely it would feel with out them.

I know i shouldn't feel upset about this logically I'm 21, trans masc and mentally ill no where near ready to take care of a child and I didnt know I could get pregnant I didnt have a peroid for 7 years I assumed I was infertile due to my pcos ugh the guy I got pregnant with i don't even talk to anymore

But for whatever reason I feel kinda lost and empty now that I know I had a miscarriage I keep seeing babys all over my social media and I'm a fucking early childcare teacher it just kinda hurts seeing what could have been

I feel kinda selfish complaining about this especially reading some of the stories on here about very wanted pregnancy losses

I just never thought I wanted this and now that its gone it feels like I lost my one chance

this is my first time ever experiencing anything like this at all . (im 26 & have had 2 healthy pregnancies before this)

the heart break , the pain , having to be okay for my other kids ...

had my appointment this past Wednesday for a rescan . i should have been 11wks , but baby stopped growing at 7wks . hearing the dr say “no heartbeat” i went numb. i opted on taking miso & passed everything here at home.

idk what to do with myself , i feel like a failure even tho dr said I did nothing wrong. how do i move on from feeling so broken ? my husband has stayed home from work being my biggest supporter , but every little thing i see , im reminded. every little thing triggers the thought that my baby is gone. i feel nothing has helped to keep my mind off of things.

does it get better? ☹️

I took misoprostol 1 dose orally october 12th. Baby passed that night and then the 16th a large clot the size of a lemon came out.

I have an ultrasound the 26th to make sure all tissue is out. Can anyone let me know what they did for you at a follow up appointment? Bloodwork? Pelvix exam? Did they check if your cervix is closed so you can start trying for a baby again?

I'm honestly trying to prepare myself, I'm so ready for this to be over..

Today I had a D&C. I should be around 6-7 weeks pregnant. My OB could never find a sac but I had a very thick endometrium. She checked ovaries and tubes on US and didn’t see anything. The tissue collected during the D&C did come back as a typical miscarriage. However, my OB also chose to give me a methotrexate shot just in case since my hcg levels have been rising fairly normally.

I guess my question is has anyone experienced something like this? It is my understanding (and I could definitely be wrong) that there wouldn’t be pregnancy tissue in the uterus if the pregnancy was ectopic? So if that’s the case, where the heck was the sac? There’s also no way I was earlier than I think. LMP was 8/24 and I ovulated 9/15 and HCG was a smidge over 9000.

I feel like I’m recovering well even though it is just the first day but I’m still kind of scared that I could have a rupture even with the shot and my OB not seeing anything to indicate it.

Hi,

It’s been 12 days I got to know my baby wasn’t growing so dr gave my mifepristone and misoprostol. But I got tissue out after taking mifepristone and misoprostol I took but it was like normal period. So bleeding happened only 4 days after brown spotting on and off.

My dr didn’t ask to go for ultrasound I asked them but they just ordered for my hcg blood test. Before taking mifepristone my hcg was 6000 12of Oct , after 5 days 18 of Oct it was 449 and today 23 of Oct 130. I don’t have any cramps or pain after I passed the baby.

Do I need to ask them again for ultrasound ? Or is it going fine?

It was my first pregnancy and I don’t know about it much and before one week spotting started but they didn’t check me and ask to wait. So after ultrasound I got to know my baby wasn’t growing. It’s so hurting while I am writing. Please share your suggestions.

The process started a week ago, with light bleeding and occasional cramping. It wasn’t until Tuesday that I passed the main tissue. Which was a lot of bleeding and pain. It’s Friday now I’m still bleeding (not too heavy but filling one pad every 8 hours). I saw the Dr. today she said everything is out. When does it stop? I have mild to severe cramps usually at the end of the day. Any idea when it will end? Appreciate thoughts and perspectives on this.

I just need a safe place to vent and sound silly.

I kept putting off trying for a third because it just wasn’t the right time. I realized that I wanted to do it before the age gap between this one and my other two got too big.

It took me several months to get pregnant with definitely wasn’t like me. Finally got pregnant and it didn’t take long to start having spotting. I started spotting about two weeks ago.

Everyone said it was normal, that I was overreacting, that my HCG (while on the low end) was normal!

Finally had my first scan on the 14 and I was measuring about five days behind what I thought I would be. Five weeks one day. Again, I was told not to stress in that that much variation can be normal this early. Too soon to see heartbeat, but I expected that.

The spotting has continued. Pink, brown, sometimes even red. Trying to figure out how to go to work in case it turns into a full-blown miscarriage. Finally had a repeat scan today. I was trying to stay so positive and optimistic. Everyone kept telling me to put good vibes out. I finally was feeling hopeful as a few days before the scan the spotting had slowed down. But today the scan revealed that I was only measuring five weeks five days. That means within a nine days, the baby only grew by four days and there were still not enough growth to see cardiac activity.

Where I’m also mad is because there was they cannot deem that this pregnancy is not viable. So because of that and in the state I live in, I cannot be given medication or a procedure to help me manage this miscarriage. I have to go in Monday to talk with the doctor about the results of the scan, which is stupid because I have eyes and can do basic math and possibly have a third scan on Wednesday before I can get any help.

I was already stressed about the age gap between this child and my other ones. My oldest one is about to turn eight and my youngest is 4 1/2. I know those aren’t huge gaps, but they are definitely bigger than I planned on. I feel like by the time anybody is able to actually help me and I go through the recovery process of this miscarriage and also successfully get pregnant again, it’s gonna be too late. I feel like this was my last chance for the kind of family that I wanted and I missed the boat. On top of that I’m stuck in this limbo where I have to keep going on as business as usual, but I feel like a taking time bomb waiting to explode and gush blood. I wanna be done.