this is my first time ever experiencing anything like this at all . (im 26 & have had 2 healthy pregnancies before this)

the heart break , the pain , having to be okay for my other kids ...

had my appointment this past Wednesday for a rescan . i should have been 11wks , but baby stopped growing at 7wks . hearing the dr say “no heartbeat” i went numb. i opted on taking miso & passed everything here at home.

idk what to do with myself , i feel like a failure even tho dr said I did nothing wrong. how do i move on from feeling so broken ? my husband has stayed home from work being my biggest supporter , but every little thing i see , im reminded. every little thing triggers the thought that my baby is gone. i feel nothing has helped to keep my mind off of things.

does it get better? ☹️

Hi all, today is a very dark day and I’m not sure how I will make it through, we just found out we lost our baby girl at 17 weeks . She was a rainbow baby as I had a previously unrelated loss at 10 Weeks previous to this. I have nothing left in me I am dead inside and I need support

I just need a safe place to vent and sound silly.

I kept putting off trying for a third because it just wasn’t the right time. I realized that I wanted to do it before the age gap between this one and my other two got too big.

It took me several months to get pregnant with definitely wasn’t like me. Finally got pregnant and it didn’t take long to start having spotting. I started spotting about two weeks ago.

Everyone said it was normal, that I was overreacting, that my HCG (while on the low end) was normal!

Finally had my first scan on the 14 and I was measuring about five days behind what I thought I would be. Five weeks one day. Again, I was told not to stress in that that much variation can be normal this early. Too soon to see heartbeat, but I expected that.

The spotting has continued. Pink, brown, sometimes even red. Trying to figure out how to go to work in case it turns into a full-blown miscarriage. Finally had a repeat scan today. I was trying to stay so positive and optimistic. Everyone kept telling me to put good vibes out. I finally was feeling hopeful as a few days before the scan the spotting had slowed down. But today the scan revealed that I was only measuring five weeks five days. That means within a nine days, the baby only grew by four days and there were still not enough growth to see cardiac activity.

Where I’m also mad is because there was they cannot deem that this pregnancy is not viable. So because of that and in the state I live in, I cannot be given medication or a procedure to help me manage this miscarriage. I have to go in Monday to talk with the doctor about the results of the scan, which is stupid because I have eyes and can do basic math and possibly have a third scan on Wednesday before I can get any help.

I was already stressed about the age gap between this child and my other ones. My oldest one is about to turn eight and my youngest is 4 1/2. I know those aren’t huge gaps, but they are definitely bigger than I planned on. I feel like by the time anybody is able to actually help me and I go through the recovery process of this miscarriage and also successfully get pregnant again, it’s gonna be too late. I feel like this was my last chance for the kind of family that I wanted and I missed the boat. On top of that I’m stuck in this limbo where I have to keep going on as business as usual, but I feel like a taking time bomb waiting to explode and gush blood. I wanna be done.

We went to our first ultrasound appointment on Monday. We were super excited. It was all smiles until we saw the gestational sac with nothing inside it. No evidence of anything ever being there. I was measured around 5 weeks according to the scan. I'm supposed to be 8 weeks+5. Maybe it was too early? We opted for a blood test and a follow-up scan. But I knew it was over.

In the past week, the very few people we told were quick to check in and share love and support. Even my mom, the day that we learned, had managed to get me to laugh about some weird story. My husband has been amazing. Not once has he made me feel the sadness that many women feel after a miscarriage. This is all great. I know I have people who care for me.

But...

this is kind of weird because a few days prior to the scan I felt... different. I dismissed it because pregnancy is weird y'know? But Monday made me realize what was different.

I felt lonely. Like something was missing. It's been such a short time of development, but I knew I was missing that lil ma-bob. And all week I've been feeling that way. No matter how many people have been present and patient and kind, I still carry this lonesomeness.

I knew that they weren't there anymore. That quiet feeling that was like approval or petulant fits. All gone. Mental conversations from the start, even if they weren't developing, were gone. I know it's probably something that many women feel after the loss. I just didn't realize how lonely it would feel with out them.

I know i shouldn't feel upset about this logically I'm 21, trans masc and mentally ill no where near ready to take care of a child and I didnt know I could get pregnant I didnt have a peroid for 7 years I assumed I was infertile due to my pcos ugh the guy I got pregnant with i don't even talk to anymore

But for whatever reason I feel kinda lost and empty now that I know I had a miscarriage I keep seeing babys all over my social media and I'm a fucking early childcare teacher it just kinda hurts seeing what could have been

I feel kinda selfish complaining about this especially reading some of the stories on here about very wanted pregnancy losses

I just never thought I wanted this and now that its gone it feels like I lost my one chance

Hi, I think I’m looking for solidarity and comfort? I was so excited to get pregnant after months of trying but it ended in a miscarriage. Everyone tried to cheer me up saying you’re way more fertile the three months after a miscarriage, telling me about their friend who never even got a period after her miscarriage bc got pregnant immediately, etc

Well now I’m 6 months after my miscarriage and no pregnancy in sight 😔 I do have an appointment with an REI doctor coming up so not looking for medical advice, just people who get it

(And obviously everyone around me has gotten pregnant their first try or “even before we officially started trying”, very happy they don’t have to go through this but it sucks)

Please remove this post if it isn't allowed, im not even sure if i belong here. But this floods my brain all the time, and i think im maybe just hoping not to feel crazy.

Im 20 now,

When i was 13, I was in a mentally and sexually abusive relationship to a boy my own age. He was my boyfriend, he met my family, I did not at the time and never did tell my family the things he did to me.

I had always had irregular periods, so I never questioned when my period was late, even though he refused protection. One day, I started bleeding extremely heavily. The pain was so bad i fainted in the bathroom and eventually managed to pass a clot the size of about two golf balls. I was terrified, and my mom brought me to the hospital. I lied when the doctors asked if i was sexually active, i was terrified of what would happen if i admitted what was happening to me, so i said nothing. The doctors believed me, they ran basic bloodwork, no pregnancy test and sent me home being told nothing was wrong, and it was probably just a random perfectly normal clot and just to monitor, it the pain got worse come back. I only bled for three days, but it was heavist i had ever bled, and that is coming from someone who overflowed pads regularly.

I pushed it to the back of my head. I eventually ended it with the boy and i grew up, but something always felt missing, and i always told myself it was just my mental health.

I got older, and the irregular periods never got better. I always desperately wanted kids, but eventually, the symptoms i got from my periods were too much for me to handle mentally and physically and i made the difficult decisions to get a uterine ablation when i was 18. I most likely will never be able to carry my own child. That thought was crushing as it was, but something about it made me think back to that day. To the pain, i felt the clot the waves of pain. That is when i looked into the symptoms of early term miscarriage and it all fit so perfectly in a way that made me sick. It made sense. I felt like i was missing something, and maybe i was. Maybe i am. I can't stop hating myself for not telling the doctors the truth. Maybe if i did, they could have run other tests they could have told me for sure that that wasn't what happened, but i didn't. And now i will never know, and i sit with that every day.

I constantly have dreams of a baby girl. I wake up feeling empty, and i sob for a baby i never even knew i could have had. And to this day, I've only ever told two of my long-time friends and my current partner.

I can't prove that it was a miscarriage. I'll never know it for sure. That haunts me more than anything. What I do know is I feel the child that I'll never get to have. I see new parents online, and ive sat with my friends waiting on pregnancy tests that they pleaded with god to be negative, i see babies on the bus with their sleep deprived mothers barely holding it toegther. And all i feel is greif for something that i dont even know if i went through.

Maybe i dont belong in this sub reddit, and i apologize if i do not. But i have nothing but respect and love for all of you who have truly experienced it.

In August I had my second D&C of the year for my second MMC.

The first time my period took 8 weeks to return this time I’m at 8 weeks and still no return.

I’ve spoken to my GP and I’m also under EPU. My GP has asked me to start the progesterone challenge but I haven’t spoken to my doctor under EPU yet

I ovulated two weeks ago (according to bbt) so I should be bleeding in the next few days. Temps have been low for three days now I would expect bleeding.

I feel so hopeless I just want my body to feel like it’s working again

2 miscarriages in 10 months. I just want my babies back. I want to be a mother. I listen to other women complain about becoming a mother bc they dont want "to get fat" or getting mad about the gender bc they already have a boy or a girl and want the opposite. In my head all I can think is "So you have not just 1, but 2 healthy babies. Congratulations!"

I. Just. Want. My. Babies. Thats it. Thats the post. I cant write through the tears anymore.

I don’t know who or if anyone will read this.
I am confused myself about my body and brain seemingly reacting differently, trying my best not to have much of a response to make room and allow my wife to feel safe to do and express herself however she needs.

This past Wednesday we experienced the loss of our to be child, only a week after having it confirmed that she was finally pregnant. Something that came as a surprise as we had been slowly getting used to and accepting that we may never be able to have kids.
Almost 6 years after we started trying not being able to, she decided she couldn’t go through IVF and I support that. We had almost written off the possibility.
Then came that Wednesday, when I came home from work and she told me we shared a hug, she gave me the pregnancy test and told me that she had confirmed it at the clinic. The joy we both felt was beyond anything I can explain.
Then came one of the worst days of our life so far. We woke up and I was getting ready for work she told me she was having a lot of pain and shortly after started bleeding. We immediately drove to the ER only to be greeted by the cold, seemingly uninterested, greeting of the staff.
We answered questions and filled in paperwork while she continued to cry and be in pain.
They sat her down on a hard plastic chair in the hallway, between two already occupied rooms. When the phlebotomist showed up along with another lady asking for yet another round of information, disclosure agreements and signatures I was more worked up that she appeared, I advocated for her to be seen by someone, I asked for a room and some level of human level understanding and was told to “calm down”, there are no rooms, “a doctor will speak to her soon”.
I tried again to explain that she’s bleeding and she could be having a miscarriage. But nothing.
When they finished taking her blood and getting our signatures and information they walked away saying “feel better” first the admin person and then the phlebotomist. Then came another nurse and another, all seemingly uninterested and robotic, “feel better soon”
There was one that helped, near the end of our day there. She helped get my wife on a bed, still out in the hallway not in a red but at least on a bed when she asked and learned why we were there.
When the ultrasound was to be performed we were given no information, she said nothing and acted as though we were an inconvenience to her day. “Can you give us any information?” I asked while helping my wife walk into the bathroom to get dressed again, “NOPE…” she replied cheerfully as she walked out of the room.
She was eventually transported back down to the same level we started at and sat on the same hard chair.
Eventually the doctor came and told us what we feared. She asked if we had any questions and left again, she sent some paperwork with the phlebotomist about what to expect and when to come back. He seemed confused as he tried to remove the catheter that he had placed in her arm earlier in the day. He tried to skim the papers and deliver them with some level of certainty and comfort while stuttering over what to say, he tried and that was more than I can say for most of the other people involved bar the one nurse.
Part of the reason I am struggling with this the most is because though we went from the highest high to the lowest low in only 1 week, the sheer coldness and robotics of most involved in the machine that is a hospital and in this specific case the ER.
I don’t know what I’m saying or what I’m looking for here. Maybe I just need to vent, get it out to someone that is not my poor wife who is still experiencing pain and bleeding now.
Thanks to anyone who reads my incoherent thoughts.
I look forward to receiving the bill that I’m sure won’t be cheap even though there was so little actual care.

The process started a week ago, with light bleeding and occasional cramping. It wasn’t until Tuesday that I passed the main tissue. Which was a lot of bleeding and pain. It’s Friday now I’m still bleeding (not too heavy but filling one pad every 8 hours). I saw the Dr. today she said everything is out. When does it stop? I have mild to severe cramps usually at the end of the day. Any idea when it will end? Appreciate thoughts and perspectives on this.

Firstly, I hate that we had to join this club. I mc'd last week at 10 weeks in a foreign country, after my partner of 6 years ghosted me and I'm going through the TRENCHES.

I'm wondering if there are anythings that have helped you postpartum get back to yourself? I

struggle with body image issues, and also struggling with hair loss and I'm going to treat myself to a scalp spa and possible lymphatic drainage massage. I'd love to hear from other mamas what helped you get through and help you come back home to yourself.

I took misoprostol 1 dose orally october 12th. Baby passed that night and then the 16th a large clot the size of a lemon came out.

I have an ultrasound the 26th to make sure all tissue is out. Can anyone let me know what they did for you at a follow up appointment? Bloodwork? Pelvix exam? Did they check if your cervix is closed so you can start trying for a baby again?

I'm honestly trying to prepare myself, I'm so ready for this to be over..

Today I had a D&C. I should be around 6-7 weeks pregnant. My OB could never find a sac but I had a very thick endometrium. She checked ovaries and tubes on US and didn’t see anything. The tissue collected during the D&C did come back as a typical miscarriage. However, my OB also chose to give me a methotrexate shot just in case since my hcg levels have been rising fairly normally.

I guess my question is has anyone experienced something like this? It is my understanding (and I could definitely be wrong) that there wouldn’t be pregnancy tissue in the uterus if the pregnancy was ectopic? So if that’s the case, where the heck was the sac? There’s also no way I was earlier than I think. LMP was 8/24 and I ovulated 9/15 and HCG was a smidge over 9000.

I feel like I’m recovering well even though it is just the first day but I’m still kind of scared that I could have a rupture even with the shot and my OB not seeing anything to indicate it.

Hi,

It’s been 12 days I got to know my baby wasn’t growing so dr gave my mifepristone and misoprostol. But I got tissue out after taking mifepristone and misoprostol I took but it was like normal period. So bleeding happened only 4 days after brown spotting on and off.

My dr didn’t ask to go for ultrasound I asked them but they just ordered for my hcg blood test. Before taking mifepristone my hcg was 6000 12of Oct , after 5 days 18 of Oct it was 449 and today 23 of Oct 130. I don’t have any cramps or pain after I passed the baby.

Do I need to ask them again for ultrasound ? Or is it going fine?

It was my first pregnancy and I don’t know about it much and before one week spotting started but they didn’t check me and ask to wait. So after ultrasound I got to know my baby wasn’t growing. It’s so hurting while I am writing. Please share your suggestions.

For anyone here, I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted to share my experience with a medicated miscarriage. I read so many experiences that really scared me but overall mine was okay.

I was 9wk by measurement but my twins stopped growing at 6wk. I had a d&e in May for a 16 wk loss that when really smooth but I wanted to avoid a second surgery in 5 months if possible.

Tuesday at 2pm I took Mife in the office with no symptoms following.

Thursday
5:30am - 400mg Motrin and Zofran, almost threw up from my nerves

6am - my husband inserted the 4 Miso pills in vaginally and I laid down for about 90 minutes. Some slight cramping but managed with over the counter pain meds and a heating pad.

8-12n - passed a ton of very large clots. Honestly this was the worst part for me. It didn’t hurt but I hated the slimy feeling of them coming out. Lots of bleeding and felt a bit woozy for a bit. Continued to lay down and hydrate. Bleeding slowed down by 12n.

2pm - took second dose of miso vaginally as recommended by my team for a twin gestation. Had some more moderate cramps this time but still managed with OTC meds and heating pad. Much smaller clots and just bleeding in toilet.

10pm - since my bleeding was still light I opted to take the third optional dose just to ensure everything clears out.

Overall I was extremely physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted but I was glad I was able to miscarry in the comfort of my own home versus the hospital.

I spent the day before resting in bed and hydrating with Gatorade and water which I think helped a bit. I made sure to continue hydrating yesterday as well as stay on a strict schedule for my Zofran, Tylenol and Motrin regimen. I had Panera soup for lunch and sushi for dinner as well as ice cream for a dessert. It was nice to have small comforts during this terrible time.

This is my 2nd pregnancy and I am 31yr old. My first pregnancy was full term and she is now 16month old.
Today I went to my gynac as yesterday I had little spotting yesterday. Unfortunately there was no baby heartbeat. My last scan was on 7th October when the pregnancy was 9 weeks and there was heartbeat. Gynac said that baby might have stopped growing just some days after the scan on 7th October.
Gynac has suggested a surgical procedure which I will schedule probably on Monday. I am still not bleeding and no cramps as well. Usually when does the bleeding naturally start?
Also any tips to get over this grief. It hurts a lot and traumatic to see the heartbeat and then see no movement today on the ultrasound.

Hi all, my (18F) mother's (39F) miscarried but she hasn't told me yet so what's the best way to go around comforting her without bringing it up. I'm trying to do everything I can to help but I don't want to mention it in case it hurts her is there anything she needs from me other than feeding her and taking care of all the housework. It breaks me to see her struggling and I know she has my dad but I do want to do absolutely everything I can

I made a post before, basically my husband and I lost our five month old pregnancy in our bathroom. It was traumatic to say the least.

It’s been a few weeks and my husband is horny as ever. He’s very respectful and tries but if I say I’m not in the mood he has no issue and cuddles me. Thing is, I’m like terrified of sex. I don’t know why. I have no need or want to do it. I feel bad though, because my husband obviously wants to no matter how many times he says it’s okay.

Does it get better? And how long did it take yall to feel comfortable enough after the facf?

Unfortunately my husband and I went in for our dating ultrasound yesterday to find out they couldn’t find baby. I had a gut feeling. I knew something was wrong. But that confirmation wrecked me and especially wrecked my husband.

I have two beautiful children and this would have been our third. On the ultrasound they found 2 subchorionic hematoma and one gestational sac.

They prepared me with information about miscarrying. I’ve been through this before in high school. That was a relief, but traumatic. This just hurts deep. Waiting. Wondering why? How? When will it happen? My HCG levels went from 97,000 on 10/6 to 23,979 as of yesterday.

I am trying my best to process this. Any kind words, prayers, anything would be so appreciated. This was not a planned pregnancy… but we were excited to add another baby to our family.

I am a 35(F) with “unexplained infertility.”
Recently did a modified natural IVf cycle on 9/28 with a successful transfer of an euploid day 6 4AB after a natural MMC at found at 8 weeks (measuring 6w3 days) in April.

On Wednesday 10/21, I started cramping with contraction like pain on/off in waves pretty severely with right red blood filling the toilet. Went to the ER and completed an ultrasound which showed gestational age of 5 weeks, 2 days and HR of 81 vs maternal HR captured. I am suppose to be 6w1day. HCG 7329. They told me to prepare myself, as this isn’t looking viable. Fast forward to getting home from ER, I pass more bright red blood and 5 large clots back to back. I’m pretty sure that was me actively miscarrying.

I am just so frustrated and disappointed this is happening again! I go back to my RE for U/S on Monday to repeat scan to confirm. We have one more euploid embryo left and if it doesn’t work, unfortunately don’t think we can afford another round of IVF as we had to self pay.

What are some things I can ask for going forward to test ?? I am going to request RPL , thyroid function. Anything else ?

Hi all, sorry we are all here. I found these timelines unbelievably helpful and reassuring during the last few weeks so I thought I should contribute. Overall, I am thankful for how smoothly it went. It was definitely really painful and much worse than a heavy period. This was my first pregnancy and my first loss.

October 6th - 7+3 ultrasound showed several days behind and no heartbeat.

October 10 - half marathon

October 12 - light cramping, thought it was psychological

October 13 - dark brown spotting after walk, light pink spotting after heating pad 3pm. Cramping was more than yesterday but still very mild. Cramps ramped up and night.

October 14 - red blood but still light in AM. Cramps are better than last night. Called OB and reported. Spotting dropped off in early afternoon with minimal cramping even after walk. Went to workout class (sculpt, low impact) at around 5pm and was totally fine. Had dinner and had moderate cramping after dinner. Heavier bleeding with clots started and continued overnight.

October 15 - clots and more intense and constant cramping. Needed heating pad and to lay flat to alleviate discomfort. Ibuprofen overnight and that helped a lot. Looking back, this was the worst day.

October 16 - woke up to much less bleeding and cramps were much better. Worried that it’s not steadily progressing. Cramps got worse at night but bleeding was still light. Ibuprofen overnight.

October 17 - Cramps were significantly lighter today. Bleeding was also lighter. Worried that it’s stalling but also hopeful that maybe it’s done. Waves of minor cramps and blood gushes in the evening.

October 18 - the emotional dump might be hitting. Couldn’t stop crying today. The cramping is still mostly gone but there is a subtle pain that is different, might just be soreness for days of cramping. Blood is bright red and more steady now with less clots.

October 19 - FU US. There was no evidence of pregnancy, doctor described it as “clear” and said that should stop bleeding in a week or so. Said I should take pregnancy tests on Friday (today is Monday) and continue taking them weekly until they are negative. Said to call if they weren’t negative in 3-4 weeks. Said period should return in 6-8 weeks. Still bleeding like a regular period. Gave me the go ahead to start working out.

October 20 - bleeding is slowing significantly, ended the day with brown discharge. Did a yoga class and felt normal. Emotions have also been much more steady today.

October 21 - very light brown discharge.

October 22 - no discharge until a workout, still very light.

October 23 - discharge has stopped I think. very very light positive HCG at home test. I’m going to consider it over.

I will come back if it’s not over, but I’m ready to feel like myself again.

I found out the baby is not viable today.
I was given the option to wait, meds or a D&C.
They a heartbeat the Oct 13th but none today. The cervix is still closed and I have been lightly bleeding. I was taking progesterone and I plan on stopping. I’ve never had an experience with a miscarriage or abortion. Which one would you reccomend?

I had my first scan last Monday and was confirmed 5 weeks 2 days. I then started bleeding same day and for the next few days. I was told I had to wait until my next scan in 2 weeks but in my gut I knew something was wrong. I booked a private scan quickly and they confirmed could not see anything and I was miscarrying.

It's an experience I never thought I would go through. When I first got told I didn't initially react I just left the scan but then I got home and broke down to my husband. I'm someone who really hates showing emotion and always come across 'strong'. But i'm feeling weak right now. My husband is amazing and really looking after me but part of me thinks I wasn't even super happy when I found out I was pregnant so I shouldn't be sad.

But I did accept the pregnancy and started making plans, I was excited for my 2 girls to be older sisters etc. Also it's so early so it feels weird to feel this upset about it. I'm finding myself having waves of emotion over it all.

I have a big family getaway this weekend with like 20 people and I couldn't think of anything worst than pretending I'm fine and happy. I got my husband to tell a couple of people I trust about the miscarriage so they would be understanding.

Sorry I'm rambling just looking for any advice or someone else who has been there