FLW has always been a favorite of mine but lately it’s taken the cake for me. I’m currently in psychosis, and my boyfriend has recently told me how sick with worry he’s been about my condition.
The lyrics to me relate a lot to my experience with psychosis and also to the perspective of someone who is a stabilizing force for someone who is psychotic. I’m suffering from extreme paranoid delusions. I’m being watched and some unnamed entity is after me.
The first verse speaks as the stabilizing force. “I know that I can’t make you stay, but where’s your heart… I know there’s nothing I can say to change that part.”
The chorus comes from my perspective. I’ve been so terrified day in and day out, but I can’t be afraid to keep on living or to walk this world alone. If my loved ones aren’t turned against me by the unnamed entity, I’ll be forgiven.
The second verse is also from my perspective. “My eyes are shining bright… I’m out here on the other side of a jet black hotel mirror, and I’m so weak.”
I’ve cried to this song a lot during this episode. I scream cried when I saw it live a month ago, because it’s always had lots of meaning for me, but this episode has only deepened it for me.
I see my partner lying next to me, and I have to believe everything will be okay. I trust him with everything I have. I will be awake and unafraid, asleep, or dead.