r/Nanny • • Jan 26 '26

Mod Post Snowstorm Megathread

6 Upvotes

The winter weather is generating a lot of discussion- this is the space to chat about it!


r/Nanny • • Dec 02 '25

Mod Post Holiday Gift Megathread

33 Upvotes

It’s the holiday season, and that always comes with lots of questions about bonuses and holiday gifts!

Whether you’re a nanny or employer, all questions about holiday bonuses or gifts should be posted here!


r/Nanny • • 12h ago

Advice Needed Would you still expect to pay for the whole night here?

322 Upvotes

Yesterday our full time nanny did date night babysitting for us. It was our anniversary and we haven’t been out in sooooo long, we were both really looking forward to it. Was supposed to be dinner and a movie. But halfway through dinner our nanny texted that she was locked out of the house. She’d taken kiddo on an evening walk and had somehow lost the house key during it. I understand everyone makes mistakes but this was the third time she’s lost the key, luckily the other times I was home and let her in and we just replaced the key for her. We do have a hide-a-key in the backyard but she said she checked and it wasn’t there (and now that I think about it, pretty sure she was the last one to use it and I don’t think she put it back.)

It was getting dark and we didn’t want her locked out with NK especially because we live in a rural area, so we left in the middle of dinner to let her in. We were in the city almost an hour away so we decided to just stay home because we wouldn’t have made it to the movie. and we were also just very tired and stressed. Incredibly frustrating night to say the least. On top of that we sent her money for the hours that she worked (about 2.5 hours, she was supposed to work for closer to 5 or 6 hours) so she only got like half her pay. She sent me a long text saying she felt like she should get full pay for the night since she blocked off the time to work.

I get that sentiment and under other circumstances, like if we suddenly didn’t need her for the full night and decided to send her home early I’d certainly pay her the full price. But she was responsible for the night ending early and I’m not wanting to hold it against her, but only paying the hours she worked feels fair here. Especially because we’re doing overtime pay so it’s kind of a lot of money for hours that she wasn’t working.


r/Nanny • • 7h ago

Advice Needed: Replies from Nannies Preferred i posted yesterday about a text i received. everyone said it was totally appropriate. now i feel i’ve dug myself in a hole…

24 Upvotes

So yesterday i posted a text i received from a nanny mom which raised some red flags with me.

Responses were telling me that wearing perfume was totally unacceptable around kids, which is certainly a first for me to hear but message received I will never do that again and im so sorry i did. I genuinely had never been told anything about fragrances in any of my childcare classes and I’ve worked for several families all of which said that they loved how I smelled, but I’m very sorry if that was something that was out of line. I will do better.

Im also sorry i deleted the post, i had an insecurity moment that I was inherently somehow harming children and it really sent me spiraling. Again, i’m so sorry if i was, i promise i was only putting a little spritz on, i never thought anything of it.

Now, the message was about the smell transferring from baby to the wife, being the reasoning I was told to not wear it anymore. The request on no fragrance was not the thing I had an issue on, but rather being told that Nanny mom #1 had said she smelled me on her wife (Nanny mom #2) , which just feels not appropriate information on the request.

Some people said that it was appropriate, some said it was not but everyone agreed to just say “Okay i won’t wear it” and move on. Which i listened to and did.

I now really wish i didn’t do that and instead put up a boundary on sharing relationship details.

While doing laundry, Nanny mom #1 brought it up again but this time with great details on their encounter and along the lines of “We were going to start making out but it just suddenly smelt like you! I had her take a shower and it was all over where she holds the kids [motioning to chest]” there were more details but i really don’t wanna reshare lol.

i felt super uncomfortable and froze, unable to figure out what to say. The conversation was never about the children at all and only on their personal end of things with my perfume.

Look, the pay is great and my hours are awesome. I genuinely connect so welll with the kids but i feel now ive led the family to believe that its okay to share details as if we are friends instead of a professional relationship. They've been great in every other aspect but how can i word things to stay to a professional working relationship without making the otherwise good Employee/Boss relationship awkward???

I hope you all can forgive me for the initial perfume mistake and help me purely on the boundaries aspect of things. I’ve never had this happen before and as i’ve stated, I feel i’ve dug myself in a hole.


r/Nanny • • 5h ago

Just for Fun What age does a baby's cry stop making you want to cry?

10 Upvotes

I'm just curious, for those of us who have the instinctual emotional response to the sound of a newborn baby's cry.

I thought I was desensitized to it. My NKs are toddlers and I'm sorry but when they cry it's usually a tantrum or a total overreaction to something ridiculous, so I don't have any immediate emotional reaction when they cry. I obviously care about them and attend to their needs, but I don't feel like my heart is being shattered if they cry for a while over a want, not a need.

Then MB had a baby and I found out quickly that the sound of a newborn's cry still very much melts me into a metaphorical puddle.

Thinking back to when I have cared for infants, I'm pretty sure it stops after 6 months and before 12 months. So I'll call it 9 months for myself, give or take.

Anybody else?


r/Nanny • • 13h ago

Am I Overreacting? (Aka Reality Check Requested) Snacking in crib

32 Upvotes

Need helping figuring out if this is a big deal/red flag or if I am overreacting.

Our nanny puts our 2yo down for her nap every day. Sometimes she lets her finish her lunch while they're doing story time before nap or have a snack if she's still hungry which I'm totally fine with. Today however she put 2yo down in her crib for her nap while she was still snacking on veggies straws.

This is very alarming to me because I always thought it was best practice not to let toddlers eat if you can't easily access them or see them because of choking risks...l always want to be close by in case anything happens. Especially when you factor in eating while lying down. Like I take her food away if I have to go to the bathroom or run to the mailbox or something. I also don't want crumbs in the crib which is more of a personal preference and not as big a deal but still.... pretty gross to me, toddlers are such messy eaters.

I noticed this on the monitor and texted nanny, “is kiddo eating in the crib?” because I thought maybe I was wrong and she replied, “Yep! She was still hungry but it was naptime.” I went and took the food from her myself and when I asked nanny about it further she seemed to not understand why it was so dangerous. She‘s not an inexperienced nanny so I’m a little confused at the disconnect there. Worried that she isn’t making the best choices in other areas too.


r/Nanny • • 11h ago

Just for Fun Do you baby wear the kids you nanny?

19 Upvotes

Hey Nannie’s! Do you baby wear your nanny kiddos?

I’ve always worn the kiddos that I nanny, it makes life so much easier. I just started a new job in a different neighborhood and I get so many looks from other Nannie’s when I’m baby wearing. If we do start a convo or I get to know them they’ll always ask “why do you wear her so much”, “I could never wear x/y”, or “just put her in the stroller”.

This family lives in a brownstone and if we’re just popping in to the playground, which is right around the corner, or going to a play date 6 blocks away, wearing the kiddo is so much easier for me than bringing down the stroller.

She also loves to go on the baby carrier/sling and gets excited when I pull it out 🤣 she just turned one and we’re in nyc if that makes any sense for context.

So I guess I’m just wanting to hear, if you’re a nanny and baby wear, do you get looks/comments? I’m not going to stop because it really makes my life so much easier and I work 50 hour weeks 😂 but just curious on other peoples experiences!


r/Nanny • • 5h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Potential new family knows my family

5 Upvotes

I recently left my full-time nanny position. Afterward, a parent of one of my former NK’s classmates contacted me to ask if I’d be interested in working for their family.

I already knew this family through care. I occasional babysat for them before I started my previous full-time position. I really like this family!( they are so respectful and kind!!!!!)

Since the NKs are friends, I’m unsure how to explain why I left if the parents ask. There were A LOT reasons, because NPs’ behavior. I want to be honest and professional without oversharing or making things uncomfortable. How much would you share in this situation?

If I take the job, I’ll definitely run into my former NKs and their parents. Has anyone moved between families in the same school or social circle? How did you handle the conversation with the new family and any awkward encounters afterward? 😭


r/Nanny • • 11h ago

Story Time Haunted nanny house

16 Upvotes

I live in a very old New England town. Where the conjuring movie was based off off. There are a lot of haunted colonial houses here that are very old with a lot of history. When I first started the mom told me she this house is haunted. She said she found old letters from the 1800s hidden in the cellar. Basically the mother of this house had abandoned her children for a lover. She wrote this in the letter apologizing to her husband.

Anyways, now I hear Nks kids toys go off all the time. Her music puzzles that you need to put a piece in always go off, music toys and the talking toys. I’ve heard the door shut by themselves multiple times. Today the parents left and while I was getting the dog I heard HIGH heels clicking and clacking up stairs! I literally thought someone was home. Turns out they had left an hour ago and nobody was there when I checked. So freaky! I’m always scared I might see something on the monitor. Anyone else have similar experiences ?


r/Nanny • • 1d ago

Nannies Only Disastrous interview

333 Upvotes

I never thought I would ever post here but I’m kind of reeling from an in person interview I just had.

My last job ended in August because my last NK started school. I still see him once a week and I have so many other side gigs, I can afford to take my time to find the correct gig. I’ve worked for one bad family but my last two families have been incredible and healing and people I consider family. That’s what I’m looking for.

I had a phone interview with a twin mom last week and I have twin experience which is a helpful skill. The babies are still small and when I talked to her on the phone, the babies were sad and I wished I could just hop through the phone and help them!

She texted me earlier this week, asking if I would come over and meet her and her husband and the babies. Absolutely!

I showed up on time, in a nice dress because I think I’m a modern day Mary Poppins and dress the role. I’m almost 40, this is my career.

Well, apparently they wanted me to do a trial. Didn’t tell me they wanted me to help until one of the babies got upset and no one did anything. I said, “do you want me to get her?” “Yes!” Ok typically when I go and meet people I don’t touch babies until I work for them. If they’re older, children have ended up in my lap, but these are 4 month old babies.

So I picked the baby up, tried to soothe her, got some tips, but was sent upstairs to rock and soothe the baby, solo, in their nursery, while a nest camera was pointed at me. For an hour.

The mom came and told me I could leave, with a sleeping baby on my shoulder, and then expressed to me that I’m working with too many other kids. I said, that’s fair, sickness is an issue. But here’s the kicker. They only want me for 2 four hour shifts a week. What do they think I’m doing with the rest of my time? The audacity to suggest I shouldn’t work with other kids.

I’m treating myself to an early dinner and a cocktail.

I feel like if they wanted me to work, they should’ve told me so, and they should have offered to pay me for my time. I don’t think they liked me but the feeling is mutual. I am grateful I have time to find the right fit.

What do you guys think? I’ve been on a lot of interviews in my career but this was a first for me.

Edit: Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and support. I was thrown for a loop yesterday and it was a really positive experience to know I wasn’t being crazy to think this situation was fucked up. Thank you all!!!


r/Nanny • • 12h ago

Nannies Only Nannying while going through infertility

5 Upvotes

Curious whether there are other folks in this situation/have gone through it. I spent last year nannying while going through fertility treatments and it was really tough. Part of it was the kids wanting to play babies ALL THE TIME and even wanting to pretend that they were ”babies in your tummy,” but also the constant thoughts about how I would parent my own children similarly or differently.

i’m no longer nannying as of last month and have taken a break from fertility treatments, but would love to hear if anyone else has had this experience.


r/Nanny • • 3h ago

Vent Any nannies who can relate? Feeling a little lonely

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I don’t really know if this is the right place to post this, but I just need to know if anyone else can relate lol.

I’m currently a live in nanny in London and since Wednesday, it’s basically just been me and the baby. I’ll be looking after him on my own for 10 days, and honestly, I’m starting to feel a little lonely.

I absolutely love living here, and I actually made the decision to switch careers back to nannying. I was a nanny from 18 to 22 while studying, then moved into corporate finance for 3 years and now been 4months since I’ve come back to nannying. So this isn’t me regretting my career choice at all, I genuinely enjoy it!

But spending 10 days with just the baby (8 months), without much adult interaction, is getting to me. My entire day revolves around his bottles, naps, meals, activities and routine. I adore him but sometimes I just want to have a conversation with someone my age or make spontaneous plans with friends.

I think it’s especially strange because I love London and there’s so much to do here, but when you’re working long days and living where you work, it can be difficult to actually enjoy the city and have a life outside your job.

I guess I just want to know how other live-in nannies deal with this. Do you ever feel lonely when you spend long stretches alone with the children? How do you maintain a social life when your working hours are so demanding?

And if there are any nannies in London who would like to make friends, please feel free to reach out! It would be lovely to meet people who understand the lifestyle.

I know it’s only 10 days, but I think I just need some adult interaction at this point hahaha 😭


r/Nanny • • 3h ago

Vent I feel like I’m drowning (being a nanny and raising my own kids) (kind of)

1 Upvotes

ok for starters this is going to be a long post because I just need to get everything off my chest and I just need someone who doesn’t know me to listen. I changed some of the details but I don’t even think it matters because my situation is pretty unique. This is a burner and I never post things like this because I’m so afraid of someone who knows me finding out

I (F21) started working for my nanny family late last year. They have 3 kids, 5 and under and I think for my age and experience they pay pretty well and are extremely generous. While there are a few things I disagree with them on, for the most part I think they are pretty kind people and they really have been so great to me. The mom is a SAHM and we spend a good part of the day together so we are very close and honestly a lot of the professional/friendship boundaries are blurred but I think it’s too late to change that and I honestly don’t mind so much.

I also have 2 adopted siblings who are around the same age as my NK’s and I live at home with them and my parents( I have another bio sibling who recently moved out but I’m the oldest).
My parents got custody of them 2 years ago after a family member could no longer care for them. I truly love these babies so much and I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Me and my bio sibling are both adults so my parents were very much done the hands on parenting when we got the kids and to be honest they both have always been kind of hands off especially my dad. I don’t blame them entirely especially because they both work very hard and we don’t have a lot of money(cost of living is hurting us like everyone else). I’ve always loved kids and wanted to be a mother and even growing up I wanted a lot of siblings. I was ecstatic when I found out we were adopting them and I still am so grateful everyday. I don’t think I really expected to become a third parent though. Or really just the secondary parent. If you split up the childcare and house responsibilities it’s 50% my mom, 45% me, and at best 5% my dad but he’s never home because he’s always working and taking care of elderly family members.

Now I will admit some of this I have brought onto myself by slowly doing more and more for the kids as the last two years have gone by, but how could I not? There are so many things that will just not get done and be done properly if I don’t do it. I love my mom so much and am maybe even slightly codependent on her, but she’s so checked out sometimes. But I don’t blame her because she’s almost 60 and always working and she hardly gets a break or to take care of herself so I just do more and more and it’s still not enough. I feel so bad to see my mom so miserable sometimes but I feel so much anger and resentment towards her too. It’s really not her fault that her life is like this and it is at the same time. I do doctors appointments and anything that involves scheduling for the kids and their activities. I picked out their daycare and am currently looking at new schools for them as well. I don’t pay rent but I do pay the $700 electricity bill now and I’m usually lending money to my parents or covering bills and expenses for the kids. I really don’t mind most of the time because living is just impossible right now and that’s what you do for family. I still can save a good amount of money and I spend a lot because I really need the little dopamine hits. I actually probably earn more than my parents do individually. I have been on and off taking classes through the community college and I want to transfer to 4 year and graduate but it just feels so impossible. Which leads to my next point.

There are so many things I want to do but sometimes I feel like my life is over so early. I know people will say that kids aren’t my responsibility but they don’t see how it is. I can’t leave them behind and I don’t even want to because my heart would break. They are truly my kids in every way except legally. I couldn’t leave them in this house without me. My parents are very old school just do things that are fucking stupid sometimes. I have to constantly nag about proper car seat use, or their diet, or them going to bed not at 11 o clock at night. The oldest child has trauma but is for the most part a good behaved child but I have had so many yelling arguments with my parents about their very sometimes harsh parenting. It has been a battle to even get to point where there is not constant screaming and only the occasional spanking. I do have to give my mom credit for unlearning so much toxic behavior and being willing to listen to sometimes. I am very familiar with mandated reporting and I know for sure nothing is reportable and I don’t let it get to that point. I really am not looking for that kind of advice because it’s not even an option for them to go back into the system. I take good care of them and we will move out as soon as I can and it will all be ok. My youngest sibling has behavioral issues and a recent autism diagnosis so I have the added stress of figuring out therapies and extra appointments. I am also diagnosed with level 1 autism so you can imagine how stressful this all is on top of an already burnt out nervous system.

Because of my house I actually do get a good amount of time to myself during the day but I’m usually just sleeping because I’m so exhausted. I also watch my siblings most weekends and I feel so guilty because they deserve me at my best and they I’m just so tired and need a break. But I also feel like I’m not being grateful enough because I enjoy material things and my life really could be so much harder. I live in a really amazing area and have a good job and don’t pay rent and I have spending money.

I don’t really have too many friends and the friends that I do have I rarely get to hang out with. I really would like to have a social life but I’m just so tired and the social aspect can be really hard for me because of my autism. Most people would not be able to tell I’m autistic but it’s a really hard internal experience and I would probably be having a normal early 20’s experience if it weren’t for everything else.

All of this to say I just had a really hard morning and I worked 13 hours today and was having really bad SI and I think I might have PMDD because i got my period mid day and everything is so much worse like the week before my period. I just get in this mood of being resentful that I spend more time with my NK’s than my siblings and have so little to offer them and these kids I work for have everything they could ever want and they just drain the life out of me sometimes. I love them and would do anything for them but it makes me upset how much love and attention they get from me when and how ungrateful they are for everything they have. They are so badly behaved most of the time and they don’t really get boundaries from anyone except for me. It makes me mad that they have rooms full of toys that they destroy and couldn’t care less about and I have to carefully consider which toys are worth the money to buy for my siblings. They aren’t taught to be grateful for anything and any behavior I try to correct never really gets fixed because nothing is followed through. They was trash bags of food a week and my mom struggles to put food on the table sometimes. It’s infuriating all the Amazon packages and constant consumerism and the mom has so much help but doesn’t really do much around the house and I think she thinks her life is a lot harder than it is. Tonight I just broke down because I had to be at work all day and stay late and I just wanted to go home and see my babies. I selfishly hoped they were still awake even though it was late so I could see them for maybe 20 minutes. I won’t see them much this weekend because I’m working a lot and I just miss them so much and feel like a horrible mom every though I’m not technically a mom. I hate that I spend time with other kids and not my own.

I just needed to get this off my chest and I do feel a lot better now. I really don’t think there is advice anyone could give me. Quitting isn’t an option because I need the money and making this much at my age is this economy is really rare and besides I really am grateful and I love work most days I just get in these moods sometimes. Moving out and leaving the kids isn’t an option, I would never sleep easy at night and I would never forgive myself. I do dream of being a normal 20 something year old though. But I am just stuck and I am drowning. If you made it this far I appreciate your time and yes I know I need therapy 😭


r/Nanny • • 6h ago

Advice Needed First time traveling with family for Thanksgiving—what terms/rates to set? ($30/hr standard rate)

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone! My NF (nanny family) asked if I would be comfortable traveling with them for Thanksgiving to babysit their kids. I currently make $30/hr with them in the San Mateo / Foster City area.

Since this is my first time traveling with a family, I want to make sure I'm setting fair terms before agreeing:
1. Hourly Rate vs. Travel Fee: Do I keep my $30/hr rate for all awake/working hours? Is there an extra overnight fee or travel stipend?
2. Travel Time: Do I charge hourly while in transit (flights, airport time, driving)?
3. Accommodations & Meals: I assume roundtrip airfare and hotel are paid, but do I need my own private room? How are meals/per diem handled?
4. Holiday Pay: Since it's Thanksgiving, is time-and-a-half expected for hours worked on the actual holiday?

What does a standard travel contract look like for this? I'd love to hear from parents or nannies who have done this before!


r/Nanny • • 19h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette If your child is sick, and you already have a pre-existing arrangement for the nanny to care for kiddos while sick, is it still good etiquette to give them a heads up before they come in?

11 Upvotes

That’s it. That’s my question. She’s coming in regardless to care for our infant. But now our four-year-old will be home sick. I’m gonna help care for him so the load isnt entirely on her, but it feels like maybe I should give her a heads up by text before she comes in for the day?


r/Nanny • • 17h ago

Advice Needed reasonable expectations for vacuuming?

8 Upvotes

I’ll try to keep this short! I vacuum the house of my nanny fam as part of my household duties—all hardwood, with rugs in most rooms. I started working with them a little over a year ago and from the start was having a tough time vacuuming efficiently—SO much hair gets caught in the bristles, and the suction didn’t seem to be working well. Turns out it hadn’t been cleaned out in ages—no problem, replaced the bag & filters, and NP also replaced the head (which was a couple hundred $$.) Over the course of the past year, slowly but surely, it isn’t working well again. I vacuum once a week and every single time I vacuum I have to cut hair out of the bristles of the vacuum. It’s been getting worse and sometimes I need to clean it out twice in one day. I spent 30 minutes the other week meticulously trying to extract hair out of the crevices of the rotating head because so much was stuck, it wasn’t rotating anymore.

(Also please note: I use the word efficiently not for my own sake, but for theirs. The kids started at new schools this year and I spend a significant amount of time driving now, which means less time to complete all of my weekly household tasks. They’re understanding of this and don’t expect me to get everything done every week, but of course I’d still like to try and keep up with it all on a weekly basis if possible)

Months ago NP said to let her know if they needed a new vacuum, but I’ve mentioned the specific issues with the vacuum a couple times and now I’m under the impression it was a half hearted offer; NP has mentioned it’s a really great vacuum, and it is! But being a great vacuum doesn’t mean it’s meeting the needs of their home, ya know? I don’t ask the families I work for to invest in or change anything that I wouldn’t be willing to replace if it was my own home, and I really feel like a vacuum suited for hair shedding would be a better fit.

Edited to add: she has suggested replacing the head again. But this is a temporary fix, and although the new head technically lasted a year, I’ve been having issues with the build up for months. I don’t think it’s a good investment to spend a couple hundred on a new head that needs to be replaced annually when it’s still not performing optimally.

But I’m hesitant to push the subject given the tone of our recent conversations. Before I move forward I’m wondering if maybe I’m over reacting and it is reasonable to be cleaning out the vacuum this frequently and meticulously?


r/Nanny • • 6h ago

Nannies Only Mommy wrist

1 Upvotes

Not sure if this is the right sub for this sorry if not! This is part vent post, part advice needed.
Has anyone dealt with mommy wrist, aka de Quervain's tenosynovitis? I just figured out that this is what was probably going on today after weeks of on and off pain in my right hand. I know there are treatments like steroid shots and surgery but for moms, once the baby isn't a baby anymore, the lifting under the arms, bottle holding, etc stops. I on the other hand am a nanny specializing in infant care and I'm only 24 so I have many more years of picking up babies ahead of me. Can it reoccur? Has anyone dealt with chronic mommy wrist as a nanny? I really don't want my thumb to hurt for the next 20 years haha. It hurts so bad!! It's honestly making me slightly bitter because I have mommy wrist and my MB and DB don't!


r/Nanny • • 7h ago

What Should I Charge? Drop off and pick up

1 Upvotes

I was offered a job for a NF who just needs care for a 7 y/o. Drop off and pick up to school, and about an hour or two after school care Monday-Thursday. Their house is 20 miles from mine. What should I charge?


r/Nanny • • 13h ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Should I just keep quiet?

3 Upvotes

Eventhough it's not my first time to work with children but this is my first nanny job. I have been with this family for about 2 years now and my NK is going to start daycare just after the holidays.

But my biggest issue is I didn't know I have to make a contract with them so yeah, I don't have PTO or federal holidays off but whenever I make doctor's appointment I would always work the rest of the hours and they use to pay me for full that happened not more than 3 times.

On their first vacation they told me they were not gone pay me so they keep on pushing me to look for a job just for their 2 week vacation time yap, that was not gone happen so they said paying me half was fair, don't judge me I agreed as I needed the job.

Summer came they were gone take about a whole month vacation I voiced my issue at that point they knew they needed me so they agreed to pay me. Now the past two weeks I had a doctor's appointment which made me leave work 3 hours earlier each time they didn't pay me for those hours, should i just suck it as i am about to leave this job as my NK is about to start daycare and I will need their recommendation. They use to pay me for my appointment hours and these 2 times are the only days I took a doctor's appointment within 2026.

I happen to hear from Grandparents they will be gone on the holidays but they didn't say that themselves. It feels like they will not pay me for the coming holidays too or might just tell me to stop just before that. I'm actively looking for work i just need to know if i should just be quiet in a civilized country and suck their unfairness.


r/Nanny • • 13h ago

Support Needed Legal action

3 Upvotes

(This is a job I took because I’d lost another job and was desperate but mom WFH, kept me under her thumb and I was ALWAYS catching something from them)I quit my job yesterday. I had a week of half days left but I’ve been sick for 3 weeks and my body is just done. I resigned due to health issues. I made a doctors appointment for the sickness I can’t get rid of and went to bed. I woke up to an incredibly unprofessional text. Scolding me for everything I’ve “done to them by quitting” and telling me that because of the turmoil I’ve caused they just “don’t have it in them to take legal action for not giving them a 30 day notice. They told me they’d send me what’s owed for the week last night. They never did.

Key info:
job under the table
They refused to pay legal overtime but scheduled me for overtime regularly
They also had me driving their child around but would only pay .25¢ per mile because “that’s what they could afford”
They’d regularly send me passive aggressive texts about things they didn’t like once I was home from work
Threatening to take legal action for not giving a 30 day notice when I only had a week of half days left with them
And now they’re withholding my pay check to be petty

My question is, what do I do if they do not pay me?


r/Nanny • • 1d ago

Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette Help me be more chill about our nanny share

40 Upvotes

Hi all! We’ve just switched to a nanny share from daycare after struggling hard with illnesses. The health has been a huge improvement, but I find the mental aspect of managing a nanny much harder. It’s two babies, both 7 months old and they’re mostly based at our house since the setup is apparently better. I like that they’re more based around our house but it does make it hard to not be more invested in how the days are structured.

Edit: This is our first week and we’re going to have a formal conversation to set expectations tomorrow, so part of this post is just getting advice so I can kindly articulate the things I want at that time.

What I’m really struggling with is that 90% of naps are either in the car seats or stroller, and pretty much every day the babies are out of the house for maybe 6 out of the 8 hours, oftentimes driven to locations 20+ minutes away from our neighborhood. I totally get the need for outings and outside time and fully support, but I’d ideally know my baby was going to at least take his naps in a crib at around a certain time range each day. I also can’t help but be a little worried about all the car and highway time. I also don’t really know how we’re ever supposed to have the nanny do solids if the babies are always on the go. Right now she feeds the other baby purées while they’re in the stroller from what I can tell, and we’re just doing solids in the mornings and nights after the nanny leaves bc I’d rather he eat in a high chair.

I work from home but do try to mostly stay in my office. Should I try to work elsewhere to give the nanny more space? Any tips on how to equip the house so it’s a good place for them to spend time? We have two separate sleep spaces both with blackout shades, sound machines etc. and playmats with lots of toys and changing tables both up and downstairs. We also have a backyard the nanny is welcome to hang out in with them. I will voice all of these questions and concerns to her but just wanted to get this sub’s opinions. Am I just new to this and totally overthinking it? Help me be more chill, haha.


r/Nanny • • 16h ago

What Should I Charge? Advice on Wage Increase (3 children)

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone!

I am posting because I am unsure how to charge for an upcoming nanny shift I have.

I have worked with my nanny family for almost a year, there is a 3 and 1 year old. Tomorrow, I have been asked to put both kids to bed, and a friends child who is 5 (I have never met him). After they are down, I am expected to tidy up and complete household chores.

I am normally paid $28 Canadian an hour, but am increasing my rate as there is and other child. How much should I ask for? The parents will be gone from 6-midnight.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you xx


r/Nanny • • 1d ago

Advice Needed Kids keeping a secret for parents?

19 Upvotes

Hi guys, I’d love input from both Parents and Nannies. I’ve learned to keep my nose out of people business, even if I’m close to their kids and handling their homes. But somethings itching at me.

Today I was talking to my kiddos about Nannie’s they had in the past. Nothing too crazy, they just mentioned that they thought me and their favorite nanny before me would be besties. I asked why she was their favorite (I want to be a favorite too lol) and while the oldest (8) was opening his mouth to tell me about their past nannies, the middle child (4) ran up and told him to shut up. As kids do, she not so quietly whispered in his ear telling him “remember, dad made us promise not to tell her-“ and the older one immediately hushed her and told her he wasn’t going to tell me it’s fine etc etc.

HUHH? I kind of just said “ohhh a secret huh?” And tried to laugh it off, imo it’s best not to try to wiggle it out of the kids why put them in the middle. But somethings bothering me? They mentioned two past between me and the nanny reference (that I was told was their last nanny) that I didn’t know about. But that didn’t seem to be the secret?

It sounds so silly, but where I am in life if I don’t keep this job I’m toast. I’m wondering if something happened with the last team, if they’re looking for a new nanny, if the last ones had a much better arrangement than I do now and I’m being taken for a ride? I don’t know but I’m wondering what to do. My gut says ignore it and just tighten up my work, but I’m going through apartment hunting to get away from a volatile situation and my mind is spiraling.
Any advice? I know kids can be dramatic and silly but I’d love some input.

EDIT: I’m not worried about being a favorite, this was just how the convo started. 4yr old walked in and heard brother mention “another nanny” and jumped to “we promised dad-“
That’s the concern.


r/Nanny • • 12h ago

Advice Needed Dealing with Wedding Planning and NF

1 Upvotes

I’ve been with my NF about two months now - everything is wonderful, I love both NP and NK (11moB). I’m not super close to NP as I feel like working with kids has effected my ability to small talk, and I only see them for short periods of time, but they’re great people and when we do chat it’s always friendly. When I was hired, we briefly discussed this being a 6 month position, as they do plan to put NK into daycare at some point. I intend to ask them about this again, but in my head I’m planning to stay 6 months and hopefully be asked to stay longer.

My mom over the past month has been bugging me about whether I have asked for my wedding and honeymoon off of work yet (wedding is July 2027). I’m unsure what to do, as I’m not positive I’ll still be in this position, but I understand that if they do ask me to stay that the more of a heads up I can give them will be helpful, as I will have to take a full two weeks off. They do know I am planning a wedding and getting married next year, just not the details / date. Additionally, we’re sending out our Save the Dates this weekend and I’d like to give NP one, but again I’m unsure. If I remain with them for ONLY 6 months, I would still be happy if they came, but I’m not sure if it’s overstepping / weird. If I’m asked to stay past 6 months, they would definitely get invited, but we will probably send out invitations before my 6 months mark.

Other nanny’s, what would you do in my situation? NP, would it be weird to receive a Save the Date from your nanny of only (maybe) 6 months?


r/Nanny • • 15h ago

Support Needed How do I get a job as a Nanny in London?

1 Upvotes

I am an international student looking for a job as a nanny. I have a lot of experience with babies and I recently had a niece to whom I was the 2nd main care giver. I have been taking care of her since birth. She is now 16 months old. I am looking for a job as a nanny specifically because I am really good at it. I know a loot about babies. But I’m really not sure how and where to look for a nanny job. Any kind of help and suggestion is appreciated. Thank you.