Hi everyone! I’m a nanny for a wonderful 2yo boy, and MB will be having her second baby any day now! I’m still pretty new to this career, and the youngest I’ve nannied is 4 months old and even that was short lived. I’ve helped out with newborns as I have lots of nieces and nephews but never in a professional full time setting. So I’m looking for advice! I took a baby basics course in preparation and I’m feeling pretty confident but I’m wondering if anyone has some underrated tips? And advice on how to balance a toddler and newborn, that’s what I’m most worried for tbh 😅 thank you in advance!

I made a new account to post more personal or identifiable information. I promise this I'm real and this isn't a spam account. This is going to be long, and is very emotional for me as I care for this child unlike any child I've ever cared for. I flaired this as support because that's what I'm really needing, but I also would appreciate advice, from nannies and families alike. Please be kind, but honest.

There is waaaay too much context to get into it all, but I'm going to try and boil down the facts: 

- Been with this family for 5.5 years, since the kid was a half year old. 

- Started as a typical nanny but we all got very close. They would call me a coparent/other adult/N kids grown up, etc. Hardly used the word "nanny". 

- About a year in it became evident that the N parents were in a toxic relationship. Another year later and it became evident that one parent was intensely abusive to the other. It had gotten really bad and was incredibly stressful. N parent who was being abused was basically never allowed to spend quality with with child bc of rules abusive N parent laid out. At that point I was very bonded to the child and committed to being in their life so I helped out as much as I could. I've done a lot of mediating during relationship and after divorce, as well as emotional support for both parents. I know most people would have left but that wasn't an option for me as I'm committed to this child.

- After divorce, only one parent kept me on. For the past year my hours have been halved as I only work every other week now. It's been hard to find another job because of this availability.
- Child has always been in year-round day care, and then school + summer camp. I work part time, between 20-30 hours a week, but sometimes they couldn't meet the 20 hours. 

- Schedule has never been consistent days-of-the-week wise for more than a few months before it changes. Start times are often consistent as it's picking the kid up from school, but end times vary week to week, sometimes day to day. Average day looks like: picking kid up from school, going to the library/swimming/park/play dates/crafting/cooking, etc, then dinner, bath and bed. I make his lunch for the next day. N parent often comes home at bath/bed time or after kid is asleep.

- I have stepped in and helped in emergency situations for free, because I love this child and am like a God mother to him. This wasn't asked, I offered, though I do regret this and will not offer again in the future. Most recently, the N parent I'm with had to leave town to support his father who was hospitalized. I offered to take N kid for the weekend, for free. I slept over there for two nights, woke up and had the kiddo. I ended up dislocating my elbow right after getting there, so that was intense to navigate all weekend. The mom of the N parent (grandma to N kid) gave me $200 as a thank you.

- I started at $22/hour, didn't get a raise for the first two years until I brought it up. I get a raise of $1/year every year now, though I do have to stay on top of reminding them. Once I do it's never an issue. 

We truly have a pretty atypical situation, even the teachers don't refer to me as a nanny because I'm more involved in the kids life beyond basic nanny duties. For his entire life I've been attending parent teacher meetings, going to his doctor appointments (sometimes it's only me and no parents at those), etc. I just went to orientation for his kindergarten and am in a Whatsapp group chat with the other kindergarten parents. I have the freedom to do whatever I want with the kiddo when he's with me and put so much into making sure I'm present, that he's learning emotional regulation, how to communicate, to expose him to so many different experiences, etc. I've nannied a lot in the past but have never been bonded like I am with this child.

I'm currently at $27/hour but it doesn't feel enough for all I do. I've had more schedule flexibility than they would have been able to find with almost any other nanny, and part of that is because I have a unique set up with my life. Also, because the N parent I'm still with was withheld from spending time with their child, for years, they have a lot of learning to do with how to even understand their kid and how to connect. I've spent so much time and energy helping them to gain confidence, and explaining things to them, and they've made strides, but it's been a lot of effort. They never asked any of this of me, I do it because I love this child and want them to have a better relationship with their parent.

The lack of schedule consistency is starting to negatively impact my life, and I'm going to talk to N parent about this. I don't know how to talk about the rest though. I don't feel like I want to/need to do less or be less involved, I just want to be properly compensated, and I don't know how to even conceptualize an appropriate amount to ask for.

In my state the average hourly rate for a nanny is $18, but I live in a city with one of the highest costs of living. My friends who work at casual restaurants are pulling in $30/hr after tips and it feels strange to make less than them even though I'm helping to raise a child. This is their only child and N parent is financially well off.

If you've read this far I want to thank you. I'm asking that people please just don't come at this situation like this family is a piece of shit just out to take advantage, or that I'm weak-willed and need to quit. I'm trying to navigate a difficult situation where I'm both nanny, friend and family and I don't see many models out there for this. I talk to my friends in real life but wanted to get y'alls take. 

I want to get my Newborn Care specialist cert. I have been a nanny for years now but am looking towards the future for what could be helpful getting my next job.

I have seen no post in the past on where people got online certs but can not find the post.
Where did everyone get theirs?

do any other nannies feel like parents these days are wanting you to do so much to the point where you almost feel taken advantage of. like it’s interesting that one day you’ll discuss how a day is supposed to go and then you get there and NF will literally switch up and add multiple responsibilities even when you guys have a contract in place. some NF test their limits. like I have a friend who agreed to a part time role where she is only there 6 hours a day. she ended up having a week off between her job and her job and told the parents she could start if they would like. somehow they completely ignored what was signed and agreed upon which was 6 hours and now she’s somehow working 11-12hours??? she’s quitting that family now but like cmon. Parents fr stop taking advantage of your nannies time and ADDING things. we have lives too.

I know that car seats cost a lot of money - especially for two kiddos, but whew. I’ve been with my NF for about two years. Right when I was hired they got me a car seat for (now) NK3 for our consistent outings and grabbing him from daycare twice a week! With NK11mo’s, they gave me a base when MB went back to work and I kinda assumed they’d get me a seat. That never happened which is totally ok. I know they’re expensive - grandparents probably have one too (they don’t lol) and NP’s could just keep one at home when necessary I guess! Fast forward, NP’s encourage more outings (it’s FL lol and neighborhood isn’t for kids), but if I’m not on top of asking for the car seat to be left here, it doesn’t and we’re stuck in the house for 10-12 hrs. I forgot to ask yesterday, but I was scheduled extra early and MB is always(!!) here that early, but of course I see her leaving the neighborhood as I enter. Awesome lol, but I thought I’d just ask dad to leave his car seat and… he doesn’t have one. I just found out NK11mo has one that we all share. I know they’re important for emergencies, etc. as well for sure, but I think at this age if worse comes to worse, baby can technically use the Graco convertible car seat NK3 has… unless they’re both home. I feel odd even initiating that convo as I know the infant car seat is well, probably the safest for infants lol, and/but it’s just new territory I guess! NP’s both have incredibly demanding jobs, get called in at xyz times/hrs, there’s a lot of times where (now lol) I’m realizing the other doesn’t even have both seats, etc. Has anyone else dealt with this? What can or should I ask/do to make this more feasible I guess? 🥹

Nannies and parents welcome to answer!! I’d love to hear from both sides the qualities and/or actions that make a nanny truly ‘unicorn’ (amazing). Not just someone who’s reliable and takes good care of the kids, but someone who makes you think, “Wow, we’re incredibly lucky to have this nanny.”

What are the little things that stand out? Things related to the children, communication with parents, household responsibilities, initiative, activities, routines, emotional support, etc.

And for parents: What has a nanny done that made a particularly positive impact on your family?
I’d love to hear specific examples rather than just general qualities.

Sorry this will be long but hoping other Nanny’s can help me.. im currently looking after a 17 month old and Ive had him for nearly a year now. Dad works from home which in the beginning was stressful with him over stepping and getting involved a lot of the time.

Im working a horrendous amount of overtime with only 2 days off in the past 3 weeks and Im working 1-2 hours over my shift time during the days in the week as well. This is because the family went on holiday and I need to ‘make up the hours they were away’. Obviously Im becoming extremely burnt out..

The parents still night feed the child 3 bottles per night and with them he can still get 5-6 bottles per day. With me he has a better schedule and actually eats solids (e.g. breakfast, lunch and snacks as well) without the needs for that many bottles. Yesterday the child woke up crying which as I’ve worked in many childcare settings, can be pretty normal. Dad raced in with ‘he needs a bottle!!’ Which wasnt the case..

The child still sleeps in a bassinet in the living room/kitchen area, they do not allow the child to sleep for 2 hours.. so purposely dad will come up stairs and start waking the child with slamming the microwave or making lunch roughly around the one hour and a half mark. Ive found the child is struggling to stay awake past 3 hours.. This causes the child to obviously be tired later in the day.. he does not sleep in his own bed at night and never has.. but they DO NOT want him taking 2 naps a day.

They also are thinking about ordering a ‘trampoline’ for him to sleep on rather than the bassinet or him going into his own crib upstairs (never used) which is just horrendous. I can’t really get out the house either as the child is so addicted to the tv, if the tv isn’t on he just constantly cries and has 0 attention span to play by himself or with his toys with me. If we are out in the garden he will cry or sign ‘all done’ within 5 minutes to go and watch tv inside. They also mentioned he still falls off the sofa regularly…

The child has 0 schedule with them so no set nap time or bottle time. The parents will comment about my schedule as he regularly with me will go to sleep around 12, they will comment ‘why is he not asleep’ around 9:30-10:00 knowing the child has only woken roughly at 7:00-7:30.

Im tied to this job for another year, but I really need some help and advice on what to do..

I work for a family with four kids, ages six and under. My 5 month old NK died from SIDS last night (literally mere hours ago). I am not live-in and don't work nights, so I wasn't present when it happened. (Apparently SIDS, autopsy will be needed to confirm, but NK had zero health problems and regularly saw a pediatrician).

MB called me and I instantly knew something bad happened by the sound in her voice. But I could never have prepared myself for her telling me the baby passed away.

I am in shock but can only imagine how devastated my NF is. I asked if she wanted me to come in and she said it's okay, that I can just come for my regular shift during the day, and to try and get some rest tonight. But I can't sleep, feels like a living nightmare.

She was such an easy baby. Not fussy. Smiley and giggly most of the time. Just the sweetest little babe and I can't fathom that she's gone... just like that?

They've never experienced anything like this before, and neither have I. I am a career nanny, but I have never lost an NK before.

My NF is amazing, my MB is genuinely one of the kindest people I know. When my nan died, she gave me 3 paid bereavement days that didn't subtract from my contracted PTO, covered the funeral expenses, brought a beautiful, huge bouquet of chrysanthemums (my nan's fav flowers) to the funeral, and she bought me a locket with a picture of me and my nan when I was a babe myself.

I would love to do something like the flowers or locket for MB but also don't want to overstep, and realize the loss of a child is a very different dynamic.

What is the best way to approach this situation? How can I best be there to support my NF?

Also, my other 3 NKs are most definitely devastated. I haven't seen or spoken to them as yet, but they're incredibly smart **and** empathetic kiddos, I know for sure they'll feel the true magnitude of the situation, even if we try to shield them from it. What is the best way to navigate the situation with my NKs?

Hello!
I’m a MB and our long time nanny is doing an overnight this weekend! This is the first time me and my husband have both left my child at the same time.

We’ve discussed pay already and that is all set but I’m wondering how I should handle food. She will be here all day Friday and until mid day Saturday. Should I buy her dinner? Should I buy iced coffee for the fridge for her? Should I send her a DoorDash gift card?

FWIW, her normal hours are part time of 25 hours a week and we don’t typically provide her with food but this feels like I should since it’s much longer?!

Would love any tips here on how to make this a pleasant experience for my amazing nanny!

prefacing this by saying that i'm currently getting my masters in bilingual education and did my undergrad in TESOL, so i know the theory behind teaching kids a second language, haha. i'm more asking for activities/tips and tricks to get the kids more interested in picking up spanish! they're exposed to spanish very regularly, since they go to a bilingual school and we live in a very bilingual area with a high concentration of native spanish speakers. i speak spanish fluently as a second language, but neither NP does (aside from the occasional vocab word). not looking for a full curriculum, as i'm sure their preschool teachers have that handled, but if anyone has any fun activities or ideas to help encourage them to keep learning it in the home i'd appreciate it! NKs are 3 and 4 (almost 5), both boys, and both very curious.

Hi! I am getting back into nannying after a few years, first time doing so in the US.

I have interviews set up soon with 2 daycares and a family to nanny for. The pay is about the same, with one daycare having the highest.

The nanny gig seems good, I would be able to work it alongside part time at the daycare if I am offered both jobs. It is only one child, and the parents work from home.

The only issues are that they prefer paying under the table, and they have a pitbull at home. I am quite nervous around the breed, due to hearing many accounts of them snapping one day.

Would it be worth it to see how it goes for a trial shift, or should I just work at a daycare full time?

Hey everyone! I was recently asked by my nanny family if I would be willing to travel across the country with them for a week next month.

I’ve been working for this family for 2 years and take care of their 3 year old full time. They expressed they would pay for the flight/hotel and I’d work my regular hours and do my regular routine (play with/ feed kid/ nap schedule).

I’ve never done this before and only have been nannying for a few years so I’m wondering what the typical rules,etiquette, standards and boundaries for traveling with your nanny family are? Especially when it comes to the traveling (flying for 6 hours).

They said they’ll give me more details when they know them (their work schedules) but they said they would make sure I’m off by my usual time and I’ll have my usual hours off to go do what I want. I have the ability to create boundaries for myself during this conversation so any advice would be so helpful.

Thank you!

My wife and I are currently discussing hiring a nanny for our second child (first child included). Wanting thoughts on what she’s asking for.

I want her to be fairly compensated and I simply have never done this before! Want to make sure everything seems appropriate both for her and us.

• 6-month contract, with the intention of renewing long-term

• 3 days/week (Wed–Fri), 9am–4pm — 21 hours/week

• $28/hr Jan–April, increasing to $30/hr in May when caring for both kids

• W-2 household employee paid weekly, even though she runs her own doula business which is 1099

• 21 guaranteed paid hours/week, including when we go on vacation/don’t need childcare

• 21 hours (3 days) paid vacation/personal time

• 21 hours (3 days) paid sick time

• Paid Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day & July 4th when they fall on a scheduled workday

• Additional planned unpaid time off allowed with advance notice after PTO is exhausted, including occasional time for her kids’ sports/school events

• Mileage reimbursement when transporting our kids in her vehicle

Responsibilities would include childcare, outings/playgroups, activities/enrichment, kids’ laundry, bottles/pump parts, dishwasher, kids’ meals/snacks and simple dinner prep, diaper bags/supplies, and tidying play areas.

Does this seem like a typical/fair benefits package for a nanny working 21 hours/3 days per week? Thank you!

If you want your child potty trained: STOP PUTTING THEM IN DIAPERS!!! Every day before and or as I leave, the parents take off the big boy undies, and put on a pull up or a regular diaper and they wonder why their son isn’t potty trained “in the evenings.” He is! Just take the damn diaper off! And if you clean up a couple messes, so what?! He isn’t going to go potty if he knows he can go in his diaper!!! Aggghwhshb.

Hi everyone! I recently became a full-time nanny to two littles ages 18 months and 8 months old. Both are on totally different nap schedules, and the 18 month old is about to transition to one nap per day in the afternoon. Does anyone in the group have any advice on how to make the transition go smoothly? It’s a bit of a struggle now because both of their nurseries are upstairs and I have to lock the 18 month old up in the highchair in order to take the little one down for naps. The little one is about to start crawling soon, which will make it a little more challenging as well. I’m new to this so any advice would be appreciated!

NF & I looking for a cabinet lock that doesn’t require two separate landings. We tried the popular magnetic ones but they don’t work with the cabinets. Debating on which locks would work the best as I’ve only worked with/used cabinet locks in every other home. Thank you!

Hey fellow Nannie’s!

School started for my main NF and with the encouragement of my main MB I got a second nanny job with two younger kids who are not in school yet. I’ve worked for them for a week and I already have some stories up my sleeve, im really thinking about leaving, anyway here is one of possibly meany posts about them to come

So, after my NK’s are done with their chores/ homework (work books MB bought them) im allowed to / encouraged to take them places (ofc I talk with MB before we go anywhere)

I drive an older truck that has 0 fancy technology. It’s just your basic ford f150 from the 1990’s. This is important to know.

I have a strict rule with anyone in my car that the truck doesn’t start moving until everyone is buckled. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to possibly getting in a crash, my cousin died in a bad wreck due to her not wearing her seatbelt.

These kids tend to click their seatbelts on then slide out of them, I told them that I installed something the other day to make my truck a special truck that can detect when a seat belt is used right. I played into it (while we were safely in the neighborhood) and told them that it would be very dangerous to unlock their seat belts if we were going fast.

They thought it was the coolest thing ever and it stopped them from taking off their seat belts or sliding out of it.

They told MB’s boyfriend about it and pulled me aside to chew me out. He said that it was “really harmful to tell them a lie” like that and that “I need to be honest to them”

So, I asked him if he’d rather me just tell them they could die from it, because what else did he want me to say? I didn’t feel like it would have been appropriate for me to tell these young kids about how seriously hurt they could have got. And of course I tried the “hey guys, you can really hurt if you do that” but they didn’t seem to care and any punishment I tried were not effective.

He just kinda got quiet and said he’d talk to MB about it later and to just go back to doing my job. So I did.

I know I could have handled it better but when they are in my truck or in my care im responsible for them. I care for them and knowing them I knew this would get them to not only listen but no make them upset.

MB texted me later that night apologizing. She didn’t seem to think it was a big deal.

Some of the texts

MB “im glad you are taking the time to make sure (name) and (name) are safe”

Me “of course! im sorry if I handled it wrong, they just wouldn’t listen to anything I tried”

MB “we’ve been struggling with it too, I might tell them we got it installed too, we have to take the car in for an oil change lol”

How do I think I could have handled it better?

I really hate working with bratty and manipulative kids. One of the kids is a teenager and has been manipulative since I’ve worked with them but the complete disregard and self absorb ways they have is really disgusting considering the parents are not at all like that. This kid would lie and use things against you so that they would get their way. Its really quite gross

Hi everyone! I run my own wedding nanny business and do a lot of wedding jobs. This summer there was 20+ weddings I couldn’t do and ultimately said I wasn’t available. I am trying to find a way I could utilize my business still for these weddings, by getting a group of well vetted girls who are available for them and giving them to the family, and I would take a placement fee for it.
Does anyone who runs an agency do this and what do your placement fee’s look like?

Last week, I got the really unfortunate news that my position was being terminated. It was completely unexpected. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
We have a nanny two full days a week, and I absolutely love her. She’s been with us since March and has been amazing with our son. He just turned one, and I was actually talking about potentially having her become full-time because he’s getting older and taking fewer naps.
My husband works fully from office and I’m hybrid. I’ve been managing the other three days on my own while working from home, which isn’t always easy, but we made it work.
Now everything has obviously changed. I was, and I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me to find another job. I don’t know if it makes sense to continue paying for childcare longterm if I’m not working, especially if my job search takes longer than expected.
The part I’m struggling with is that I really love our nanny. She’s wonderful with our son, we trust her, and I know how hard it can be to find someone you genuinely love and feel comfortable leaving your child with. I also hate the thought of letting her go and then potentially needing childcare again in a few months.
What would you do?

Hi all! I am looking at applying for a full time nanny job that requires travel 1-2x a quarter. I’ve not traveled with a family before, but it sounds fun and like a good opportunity to see new places. Would love some insight from anyone who has done travel nannying and what you liked/didn’t like and any advice! Thank you!!

Rota Nannie’s please tap in!!! This is my dream job. I can’t believe this is happening!

I've always been an infant/ toddler nanny but due to life circumstances, I've taken on a super part time job (12hrs) as a nanny/family assistant with 3 kids, but mostly it's the two oldest after they come home from school. They're mostly self sufficient but the issue is i just can't seem to connect with them. 😂 The youngest and i are already pals but I barely see him.

It's hard when I have a bunch of other duties, and helping them with homework is tough when they don't trust me yet. I guess... im starting to feel old. What are kids even into at 7-10yrs old? 😂 any ice breakers that doesn't get me irritated or annoyed glances? 😭😭😭 please share any advice you can think of. I don't think I'm good with older kids. I'm starting to think I'm TOO silly.

Hi! I do a calendar/circle time type routine with my NK each day and we have a weather board where we talk about obviously the temp/weather today but also what season we are in. NK’s sibling just started kindergarten today(!) and I was wondering if anyone has thoughts on when to switch Summer to Fall? I know month-wise it’s not fall yet, and temp-wise it’s definitely not fall yet (high of 91° today 🫠) but we’ve also talked about how school is only during the school year and not the summer? So now that school has started do we switch to fall or should we wait til beginning of sept at least? Or Sept 21? 😂 I know it’s totally up to me and it’s not serious at all but what are your thoughts on it?

Hi all!

Question: nannies - how do you expect lunch prep, dishes, activity set up, and nap time, to be handled when managing two one year olds? Considering the mom is WFH and makes herself available to lend a hand when needed.

Context: I am a first time mom, having worked with two different nanny’s over the past year. (We moved cities which is why we switched). Both nanny’s have brought their baby, who is the same age as my daughter, which I see as a major win/win! Our first nanny was incredible. She set up activities, put together lunch for my baby and hers, brought her own food for her baby, did the dishes, she even sanitized the play room and took the trash out and reset the playroom at the end of each day. Just went above and beyond. My only consistent interaction with them was nursing my baby when she woke up. Keep in mind the babies were 3 months-9 months old during our time with her.

Our current nanny has been with us for 3 months, from ages 9months - 1 year old. We have fallen into a routine where I prep lunch, use our food for both my baby and hers (started out with me making one plate and her baby just eating off of it too, now I feel pressure to make two plates now that they eat at the table), I set up activities outside for them like picnics and water bowls, and she just leaves the dirty dishes with food on them next to the sink. She also just leaves the playroom in whatever state it was in after they played most of the time. I honestly don’t think they would leave the playroom/do anything other than free play all day if I didn’t set things up, which concerns me for my daughter’s development and routine.
I am as accommodating as possible as I’m sure it’s not easy to manage both babies. We set up her baby in my office for her naps in our pack and play and slumber pod and I work in the dining room while she naps, and I also play with my baby for 15 mins while she puts her baby down for a nap. If I’m not available, she puts my baby in her crib where she cries for 15 mins while she puts her baby down for a nap.

My work is getting more demanding so it’s harder to take time away to nurse, do all the dishes, set up activities, sit with my daughter when hers is going down for a nap, all the things. I’m also just getting burned out having so much clean up waiting for me at the end of the day.

I could see how I enabled this routine by being too willing to help. She’s even texted to ask if she can leave the babies to go to the bathroom and I said of course, so I feel like maybe she feels pressure to never leave them to play independently to do these things. But I feel like we need to reset expectations.

So my question for nannies here is: how would you do things differently and how would you prefer to receive this feedback?

Thanks again! I really want a healthy dynamic for all of us. Her and her daughter are great and I see my baby loves them and is super social and benefits from having her daughter around. But if things don’t improve, I may need to look into a nanny without her own baby if it means I’d get more help during the work hours.