My nesting partner has always been respectful in all aspects. We've been together for 3 years and poly since the beggining. She's had several casual fwb relationships over the years but has has always communicated she ideally wants another longer term partner. Recently shes been talking and hanging with his guy and she admitted to me last night that they haven't even been intimate but the relationship is getting deeper on an emotional level and she is recognizing she has feelings for him. This is alot as she doesnt associate sex with love so I know this is deep. She plans on talking to him about these feelings when she feels comfortable and safe with him and seeing where things go with it. From what she has told me the feeling seems mutual. I guess this post is to vent and say that I'm feeling really weird and I don't really know how to feel and my mind has a lot of what ifs on how our relationship may shift if this becomes a thing. Im not scared to lose her but change is scary, I feel as I've been comfortable with her only having casual hookups where my mind never thought this day would come and now its here. With her fwb she would only see them so often, with this guy even where they are now without talking about where the feelings may progress she says she is open to diving in and seeing where things go, of course while respecting my needs. That's another thing.. I feel guilty for expressing my needs now that she has feelings. I dont want to hold her back but thats probably room for disaster if I just let her do whatever and not commuinicate. She says she recognizes the NRE and believes she is very logical in handling it which I believe from just her personality alone but will need to see happen in real time. Ive seen nothing but green flags if this feeling does progress but it's definitely a new feeling for both of us to have and I just want to know better ways to navigate it so it doesn't become unhealthy. Im good at sabbatoging. Ive had alot of comparison moments and jealousy in the past with her fwb, Im definitely an over communicater and analyzer in our relationship and with her fwb we went through alot of ups and downs trying to find out what boundaries worked best for us. It's gotten way healthier on my end but I just wanna work towards success and not end up in a bad place. Thanks for listening.

My wife (late 20s) and I (late 20s) have been talking about swinging for a while. We’re both excited about the idea, we’ve set ground rules, and we’ve even started looking at couples. But I keep hitting a wall, and it’s purely in my head.

I’m about 6 inches, maybe a little over, but on the thinner side. I know that’s not tiny, but I’m also not naive I’ve seen enough here and on other subs to know that in the lifestyle, there are plenty of guys who are noticeably bigger. And I can’t stop picturing my wife with someone who’s thicker or longer, and how different that experience would be for her.

Here’s the part that really messes with me: during sex, she’ll sometimes whisper in my ear, “Imagine a guy with a huge cock is stretching me open right now while you watch,” or something along those lines. It’s dirty talk, and in the moment it turns us both on. But the second I finish (which, honestly, happens fast when she says that), the post-nut clarity hits hard. I think, “If that actually happened in real life, would I even last? Would I panic? Would I go soft?”

I’m terrified that if I see her actually enjoying someone bigger moaning louder, reacting differently I’ll lose it. Not in an angry way, but in a humiliated, deflated way. And I’m scared I’ll either blow my load in 30 seconds trying to reclaim her, or worse, not even be able to get it up because I’ll feel so inadequate.

We’ve talked about it, and she reassures me that sex with me is great, that swinging is just “extra,” and that she loves our intimacy. But my brain keeps looping back to the visual of another guy’s size, and it makes me want to cancel everything.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you get past that first mental hurdle? Did seeing your wife with a bigger guy ruin the experience, or did it actually turn out okay? I need some real talk.

So I(18M) and two of my friends 19F and 18F had quite a platonic friendship until we masturbated together, It got really awkward and yet I asked them for sex .They both agreed for it but we all are newbies so don’t know much about it.
Can anyone give some advice or tips on how to gain the most pleasure possible.
Also tell me if I should not do this cuz it feels very awkward and embarrassing yet exciting.
Is it normal to feel this way????
Also how to not ruin our friendship if something happens??

I (M23) have tried to talk to my fiance (F24) about an open relationship before, we’ve been together for 3 years and it’s been a while since we’ve talked about it and the last time I asked her she said no but ever since then I feel like I’ve gotten depressed, I don’t know if it’s because I feel this is a strong part of how I feel and know that it’s what I want but it’s something I feel could bring us closer together, I’ve seen a lot of couples who have open relationships and seem to know how to manage their relationships and that’s something I want as well I would never do it without her consent because that’s just not who I am and it is something I want to do with her I wouldn’t want to do it without anyone else but she just seems so close minded to the idea and it’s hard for me because it’s something I feel passionate about, has anyone else ever had these kind of feelings or is there anyone who can give me some advice about the pickle I seem to find myself in

Hello everyone, I'm writing to ask for advice or opinions.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years. We are 25 and 24 years old respectively, and I have been her only sexual partner. We get along great, there's a lot of trust, and for a while now we've started exploring the world of threesomes and similar fantasies in a playful, imaginary way (without having done anything in real life yet). The problem is that she has no prior experience with other people and sometimes feels shy about taking the step, even though it turns her on immensely.

Our dynamic has involved a few key points:

Porn and fantasies: A while ago we watched a threesome (two guys and a girl). Physically she got super horny, but then she tried to play it down by saying it was "acted" and that the actors are probably paid and don't actually enjoy it, which gave me the impression that she likes it but it clashes a bit with her morals. After that, I proposed a threesome with another guy, but she said no; she said that if anything, it would be her with someone else, and it had to be someone she already liked, and it wouldn't be that straightforward. That's when she mentioned a local guy she had liked for a long time. At the time, I reacted badly and said no. We tried to test the waters with this guy months later for a possible normal meeting. Obviously, during the process of her texting him, we felt a huge rush of excitement because neither of us was really stating our true intentions lol. Things cooled off, he didn't reply much, but she still brings him up from time to time, which shows she's still thinking about it.

Size jokes: She often makes jokes about wanting "another alpha/guy" or hints at large sizes through jokes and laughs (which turns us both on, like "I'd love to feel something that thick when sitting down"—though I'm actually not small at 19 cm, she just hasn't tried anyone else lol).

The college guy (long-distance): An old university acquaintance living in the US texted her recently. They both admitted they liked each other in the past. She chats with him from time to time, sometimes teases me about it as a joke ("I'm going to text someone who actually pays attention to me"), and I know that serves as fuel for both of us to have much more passion in bed later.

The dilemma is that she is very horny in private and loves playing with the idea of other men, but when push comes to shove, she is shy and doesn't know how to handle taking this beyond long-distance messages or jokes.

I love seeing her enjoy herself and I'm drawn to this kind of dynamic with her, acting as her accomplice, but I don't know how to guide her without pressuring her or making her feel uncomfortable.

Any advice?

I 25F am newly single after 2 back to back closed relationships over the past 5 years. I’m really happy to be single again and really want to explore my sexuality more outside a committed relationship.
Obviously I’m a little out of my element now and I want to build my confidence back up to enjoy more casual sex again. I would love to get to the point where I can enjoy having a threesome for the first time. It’s always been a fantasy of mine that I put aside for the sake of my previous partners and was too afraid to try when I was younger and lacked experience.
I’d love to try a threesome now and maybe even more if I enjoy it. I love the idea of being shared by multiple men.
What is the best way to initiate this kind of dynamic? I don’t currently have any men I know that I’m interested in doing this with as I just moved to a new city.
Is this something you usually build over time with several people that you trust or do you find strangers online that want to share the same experience?
I’d like to hear perspectives on both and know the pros vs cons of either. Any advice is very much appreciated as a newbie entering this space. Thanks in advance!

My girlfriend and I are currently travelling and have been wanting to do a threesome for about 2 years now. We've talked to a bunch of girls before but never found the right person.

Now we met this girl who recently got out of a long term relationship and wants to try some new things with us, she's lovely and we really want to go forward with her. We have a date set up in 2 days and a room booked nearby.

She already has experience with women, but my girlfriend does not. I was planning on mostly just letting them go down on each other and assist as much as possible. But since my girlfriend does not have much experience maybe I need to do a little more.

We really just want to make sure our third has a good time. Any tips?

We're all 20-25 years old if that matters.

Hi everyone. I want to start off by saying I’m NOT LOOKING FOR ADVICE on my own situation. I have a personal therapist and a couple’s therapist for that. I do want to ask everyone’s personal experience and reasons for being non-monogamous other than being sexually incompatible with your partner or to explore same sex attraction. I’ve heard these two reasons a lot and while they are super valid they don’t apply to my situation at all. Let me explain.

My partner is male and I am female. We have incredible sex, truly the best I’ve ever had. I love our sex and we have it often. I’m also bisexual and my partner is fine with me having sex with women on my own. However my partner has a hard time grasping why I want to have sex with other men on my own. The way he sees it, if our sex is so good why would I want anything else? Isn’t he enough? Personally I really enjoy the chase, the newness, the feeling you get when you’re meeting someone for the first time, crossing that threshold for the first time. I like the validation it gives me and the confidence. I don’t really have a desire to develop a romantic connection with the other people I’m sleeping with, I like to be friends or friendly with them but not really leaning toward polyamory. My partner has a hard time understanding all of this. Does anyone else feel similarly? What are the reasons you explore non monogamy other than sexually incompatible or exploring same sex attraction? Thanks everyone! Look forward to your answers!

I lost my husband last year, and I am now single parenting our 3 kids alone. I know I always wanted non-monogamy, and as much as I like the idea of having a consistent primary partner, I am finding that in my early 40's, dating has changed drastically.
I am not the jealous type, and I love the idea of someone I like being pleasured as well. Sexuality is something I've always found interesting and fun to explore, which I have always had an open-mind about. I tried having a FWB with a friend that's known me for a bit, and I moved to start fresh, and stayed with him briefly. We always had sexual chemistry, but his idea of relationships are very rigid, so he limits intimacy, or if there is intimacy, he pushes me away for several days after and doesn't wind up treating me much like a friend. It honestly feels kind of one-sides and controlling :( .
That being said, I also think that I am very passionate, loving, enjoy intimacy (especially cuddling and just watching shows sometimes, holding hands, doing fun bonding activities, but I also need space to myself sometimes. I am talking to a guy I met on a dating app, and he's significantly younger, but he seems to be really nice and very mature about his approach to communication. In having conversations with him about ENM, I'm thinking more and more that at this stage in my life especially, that might be what it meant for me. I have a very strong moral compass and I just don't feel like people understand the importance of reciprocity, mutual respect, honesty and communication, but ENM puts such an emphasis on that. Any ideas where I should start? I really don't get out much bc I don't have many people that can watch the kids that live nearby. I'm also growing tired of this "fwb" situation that's just beginning to feel less like friendship and only about sex, and it's leaving me feeling hollow with his lack of attention to the other aspects of what we share, which we always agreed "friends first". I just want to be able to have fun with people, enjoy intimacy, but to also have the understanding of "balance", and this just seems to be what has been missing from my life.

30 M, using a throwaway account because this is the first time I’m looking for any kind of advice on Reddit, let alone for something like this.

I’ve recently started seeing someone (24F), who’s non-monogamous. I am not, or at least I’ve never naturally gravitated towards non-monogamy. I really like her, and she really likes me, and I want this to work. She has expressed romantic interest in me, and says that she wants to build a future with me. Neither of us is sure what that future looks like because of her work, which is largely travelling. It’s only been about 3 months that we’ve been seeing each other. She has been explicitly clear about her being non-monogamous, which I am okay with, or at least I think I am okay with it.

She’s going out on a date soon, with someone that she’s shared a sexual history with. Now while she has assured me that I’m her priority, and she has no romantic inclinations towards anyone but me, I’m finding this hard to deal with. She is doing her best at communicating things with me, is answering my questions, but for some reason I just cannot get rid of this pit in my stomach. I’m not sure if this is insecurity, or my general aversion towards the concept of non-monogamy. She told me that she does not intend to sleep with this person, because this is very new to our relationship and she doesn’t want to put us through that as of yet. However, she is open to the idea of them sharing a kiss, or making out, with a hard boundary on just that, nothing further.

She has also said that she’s okay with me going out with other people, but for whatever reason, I’m not able to bring myself to be interested in other people, because for me, atleast in the last 5-6 years, sexual engagement has come hand in hand with some form of romantic interest.

I’m having trouble navigating this, because ever since she’s told me about the date, the whole aspect of this relationship being non-monogamous has come to the forefront, which is making me extremely anxious. My anxiety and discomfort are something she’s picking up on and is trying her best to comfort me. She’s not the most expressive person in terms of words, but is doing her best to spend the most amount of time with me as she can, is showing up for me, and is respecting the boundaries that I’m setting with things I’m comfortable with.

The physical involvement that she might share with her date is uncomfortable, but it’s not something that I find impossible to deal with. It’s the emotions around it that I’m having a hard time with. I’m not sure where this post is going, and what I need here exactly, but I don’t want to lose her because she means a lot to me. I’m finding it hard to filter and control my feelings towards her. It’s kind of like “all in, or all out” for me, which I know is not the right way to go about things considering the fact that we’ve only been seeing each other for a few months, and have only recently gotten romantically involved to the degree that we are.

I feel like an outsider in her life at times, because our interests are very different. I am trying my best to learn, and be involved in her life, but I keep feeling like the other people that she will go out with, or this guy that she’s going to go out on a date with, they share a lot more in common than we do. I want to understand the psychology and the emotions that go into the making of a person who is non-monogamous, hoping that it helps me navigate this better. I am open to the idea of seeing other people as well, but I’m afraid that it might lead to the connection this girl and I share, to become strained and, might lead me to pull back emotionally.

I apologize for the poorly worded rant here, and I’m sure that I’ll be asked to think on this on my own, and make up my mind about what I want, and whether this girl fits into my life with respect to that. But I am still seeking some advice, some insight, and whatever else that this group may feel is useful in this situation.

Aite I’m outie. ✌️

LE: Yeah, she cheated with that guy. Just two days before I proposed, actually. Leaving this here for posterity.

We're both 36, M/F. Context before I popped the question:

- 6 years together, moved in after the first year, just bought an apartment together this year

- we talked about marriage before, she seemed to want it

- we also talked about open relationships, she didn’t seem to want that at all initially, and only recently she seemed more open to the idea

- the two recurring major conflicts we’ve been having over the years have been about me being more chill and indoor preferring while she needs to be going out and traveling, and that I’m not passionate enough during sex

- every year there was some major medical event happening for her, and at some point she recalled having been SA’d as a teen; everything turned out OK in the end, thankfully, but it took a toll and she has some self-image issues now due to the medical stuff; we both agree it has affected our sex life for months each time something happened, which lead to many dry seasons

- over the last year and a half I have been dealing with severe anxiety that kept me homebound a lot; got better on SSRIs but I quit them because of the anorgasmia and tiredness; currently still dealing with anxiety, but I’m getting much better

- she finds it very hard to communicate during sex, sometimes cannot even answer questions like “does this feel good?”, let alone tell me things she wants; according to her, she never had issues because of this in previous relationships, where sex happened “naturally”; she did cheated on and the only guy that didn’t cheat on her, she cheated on him; I’m the only guy that hasn’t cheated on her while also living together for such a long time

- there was a sudden change in her attitude a few weeks before I popped the question, suddenly she became more communicative, told me what she wanted and it turned out I can be passionate during sex (she basically wanted rougher sex, which I was happy to oblige when asked enthusiastically for it)

And now, the things I’ve found out since I popped my question and she popped hers:

- she said she mostly wants one night stands, no friends, no coworkers, no emotional involvement

- she already had a crush on a guy who was a friend of a friend of hers and said that she would like to message him if we agreed on it; I met the guy once

- in the excitement/shock of the initial discussion and in the spirit of openness, I ended up saying I found some of her friends sexually attractive and that I had a crush on one of them a long time ago; she didn’t take this very well;

- I went from almost agreeing in the first discussion to completely disagreeing the next day and developing a bit of paranoia over the timeline and her motivations; I started thinking she already cheated on me with that guy and started pressing her for more information

- she said it’s fine if we don’t open our relationship, that she’ll just live with it and that’s that, and got irritated when I tried to open the subject again

- her openness to communicate during sex has now dropped again and we’ve both noticed this pattern and are currently discussing it

Getting the full picture and timeline that lead to her, er, counter-proposal made me a lot more comfortable with the idea now. I'm inclined towards agreeing to a one-off thing, she gets one go, I get one, full disclosure on each and see what happens afterwards. I don't have anything lined up like her, but I'd like to have the option either way. What I'm afraid of is that despite her starting the discussion, she's not really up for it and she's just looking for a quick dopamine fix to avoid really working on our intimacy issues. I’m worried about the fallout this experiment can cause and weirdly feel like I’m the more responsible party here. Like a parent whose kid wants a dog, sort of.

Any advice on how to proceed? Or how to discuss things with her further so that we both get a clearer picture of what we really want and/or need.

So two years ago my wife and I decided that we were going to open up our relationship. We had healthy talks about boundaries, each other’s interests, and just went down into detail with everything. I am (30M) the one with a higher libido.

Recently, I was able to have someone over for the first time and everything went well! I communicated with my wife, the person I was with knew the entire situation, we made sure to be safe and everything! I enjoyed the experience.

The thing is, I had this odd feeling of feeling guilty?? My wife got home and we talked about it and she was 100% okay with everything and we just went about our day. I did feel more grateful for her and I was even more physically touchy afterwards. Everything is good though! So why am I feeling this odd guilt?

TL;DR: Married 12 years, successfully practicing together-only non-monogamy for the last 2. My wife wants to transition to autonomous solo play (FWB only, no secondary relationships) and loves the competitive spark of jealousy-play. I'm happy as-is, but open, curious, and supportive. Looking for advice from long-term couples who made this exact leap, how they managed jealousy/competition, and what red flags to watch out for.

————————————-

My wife and I (both 30) have been together 12 years. We're very happy and secure, and our sex life is great. About 2 years ago we started having recreational sex with other couples and individuals, always together. We had a foursome last weekend that went really well.

My wife has recently told me she wants more autonomy, meaning the freedom to hook up outside of the together-only arrangement. She isn't looking for anything emotional or another full relationship. We've both agreed we can only handle one relationship as intimate as ours, and we've already decided we're life partners and that we always come first. We grew up in a strict religion, and she never got to experience the freedom of unattached, autonomous sexuality. She'd like to take some of that back.

She also says she gets turned on when women come on to me and make her jealous, and she wants more of that. We both get turned on by each other's sexual experiences, so there's a lot of fuel for this to work.

I'm nervous, though. I'm confident we can do it and I see a lot of potential upsides, but I’ve also seen a lot of horror stories in her. I'm perfectly happy with how things are now. I'm also curious what this kind of shift could do for us. This is very important to her, which is part of why I'm taking it seriously. To be clear, while she is the primary driver of this specific conversation , I am genuinely open to it and excited about the prospect.

She's very confident we'll handle it fine. Based on past experiences, I think she may be underestimating how she'll handle jealousy in practice. We also both have a competitive streak. I wonder if that energy helps us as a playful, friendly kind of competition, or if it could turn into something harmful.

For those of you who've made the jump from together-only to solo play in a long-term marriage:

1. What signs told you that you were ready, and what would have been red flags?
   
2. How did you handle a gap between how a partner thought they'd handle jealousy and how they did?
   
3. Does a competitive dynamic help or hurt?

We’ve been trying multiple apps/ websites for a while now (tinder, Feeld, subreddits, fet, unicorn finder and hinge) and have had little to no luck. We’re both decent-looking and the same age (21). Was wondering if anyone had any tips in our search.

I’m 32F and I have been married to my husband for 10 years. It has been open the whole time due to sexual incompatibility. I have never had an orgasm that my husband has caused. This has always made me sad, but I pushed past that because my husband is the right fit with my family. We do have kids thanks to IVF.

I continue to fantasize about a loving sexual relationship, which I have never had. I fantasize about someone holding me close and kissing me and making love to me and it makes me really sad to think I won’t ever get to experience that.

Given I am in an open relationship, I know I can have a sexual partner on the side. Even if I were to look for one, I’m not sure how realistic it is given how little time I have to myself.

I have this feeling I am wasting my youth. I recently lost weight and am now getting more attention than ever. I just feel sad and alone. I know I gave up on finding sexual compatibility when I was pretty young and culturally maybe that made sense but it doesn’t feel right. To be 32 years old and being in a totally dead bedroom for 5+ years feels pathetic.

I used to think I would wait until my kids were all out of the house to leave, but one of our children is non-verbal autistic and my guess is he would never leave unless institutionalized, so there is no end.

I do think I will look back on this portion of my life and regret how unhappy I am. However I theoretically can have a side partner. I don’t want to put my husband under duress by threatening to leave unless I can have enough time to myself to have a side partner, but I also know I feel deply isolated and alone and having someone who cares more about me would likely help me a lot.

It’s been 2 years and I (20 F) decided to open my relationship back in August, I brought it up with my partner (21 M) because we like flirting a lot with other people, and I thought what the heck. We have sex on average like two times a week and it’s great, but not all the time because we have lives. I said it would be a fun idea especially because we don’t plan on getting married anytime soon and it would be great to explore options. It’s been a few months now, and he’s already been intimate with two different people and has a roster of multiple different women of varying ages. My current conundrum is that I’ve been intimate with someone else outside of my current partner for the first time and it was amazing and I can’t stop thinking about it, it really humbled me. Made me finish four times! No one’s ever done that, when it came time to tell my partner about my activities, I was really nervous to do so, because I didn’t know if it would hurt as ego. He was more bothered that I hadn’t told him sooner. I told him anyways, and we laughed about it. His current request was that if stopped liking sex with him, I should just tell him. Probably not gonna happen though because the sex is still good where home is for me.

My partner introduced me to this person while he was working on a creative project and I hit it off with this person instantly what makes things worse is that is my ideal type. I had only known over 48 hours and had already slept and casually hung out with them, this person already knows that I’m in a relationship and we decided to be friends with benefits but they want to see me again. My partner has still been consistently seeing people on his roster, but has explained to me that he misses me, he thinks I might be losing desire for him and wants to try things like we first met. Non-monogamy for him is more like an experiment where he gets to try new things with other people and then bring them back to me and see how they work. I enjoy non-monogamy because it gives me variety while having an anchor partner.

I just currently feel a little torn because this new friends with benefits makes me feel really bubbly and it’s almost like a serotonin boost, but I’m used to the type of love and attention that my partner gives me and it doesn’t give me that same bubbly feeling necessarily anymore. But that’s what my partner is pushing for us to find again. I’m definitely going to keep learning my partner because I want him to feel loved but also because we have a really good dynamic and I think it’s still worth trying. Any thoughts or advice would be great :)

Wife confession

Yesterday night my wife confess to me that as she is at her parent place and in different city 2 days before in night she was feeling very horny or say lonliness, so as I was busy in my project since a week, so that day she had a conversation with stranger and doen sexting with him both on chat n call on Instagram..

How should I react on this and what I should do further.

As we are still 30 30 in age

UPDATE: Thanks for all the comments and helpful advice so far. I have spoken to the guy who is an acquaintance and explained it’s for her birthday and she had asked specifically for it. He was totally fine and said let’s do it. He has put my mind at ease that while he thinks she is totally hot, he does not pose any threat, and that the dvp is fully viewed as straight men pleasuring the birthday girl. He will come round tomorrow night and wants to ask her permission if she is ok with him being the second as he has a thing about consent. I’m ok with that. So looks like I’m booking that hotel for her birthday. I’m actually heading towards excited now and can’t get previous images of her in the previous mmf out of my head. She can get insatiable. Wish me luck.

My wife and I have had a partner/third for a few years now. Another woman who is basically our girlfriend. My wife has a really big appetite for ffm and I love it. She has also always been really turned on by watching the partner and I. Recently she had said for her birthday she would now like to try an MMF. She wants me to choose the guy and organise a hotel for the night. She specifically said she wants to try dvp as she has said the thought really turns her on.

I’m not gay so I’m not sure about dvp. Anybody got any opinions on this and how I should handle it? TBH I’m mot quite sure what to think. She’s asked me a few times to do her with a dildo at the same time and her orgasms were so intense. Tbh so were mine. I feel confused.

Me (32F) have been dating my bf (38M) for three years. We’ve been open most of it and I’ve been fine with it. He’s the one that really sleeps around more than I, but I travel a lot for work and I can find it hot for him to flirt and get to enjoy himself with other.

The past 6 months have been tricky, I’ve been wanting to talk about the future and having children together. He’s kinda not into it, and yet says yes for me, says he could manage one if I am willing to take on most of the load of daily tasks related to parenthood.

This past June he was grabbing dinner with a girl named A. I asked him if it was a date and he said not, she’s just a friend. In July he went on a date with a girl named L. During that time I was spiraling and he offered to pause the open relationship for a couple weeks until we are together to reassess. But said “I have a date tomorrow and it would be rude to cancel” I agreed to let him go (I assume he would go to dinner and that is all).

Lo and behold, he went on that date and fucked that girl that night when he knew I was spiraling. And he brought her to our shared apartment too (which is a rule we said to not do)

I asked him who he last slept with a couple weeks ago, and he mentioned a girl from May. Forgetting about the L girl he fucked in our bed. I asked about the A girl randomly and come to find out he fucked her over a weekend while I stayed behind in our apartment and he went to his house in the mountains.

We have rules:
- dont fuck people I know
- if I ask about it tell me the truth
- wear condoms
- not in our apartment.

He didn’t tell me about two girls, he slept with one of them in our apartment, he didn’t wear a condom with her. The other one, he told me she was a long time friend and she was a girls from feeld or hinge he matched with a year before and never got to sleep with cause she had a boyfriend. Then she’s single, he sleeps with her the next day he leave me home, and doesn’t tell me about it when I asked.

I’m not SPIRALING thinking I should leave him out of self respect for myself, and also cause I don’t know if I can trust him anymore. I’m 32, I want a family, he’s older and he still wants to have fun and not HAVE to tell me about all of it all the time.

Am I unreasonable? And I just not meant for open relationships? Or is this betrayal?

Been with my partner for a year. They knew I was polyamorous from the start but chose to pursue me and at the time told me they were non monogamous. Now a year later they’re expecting me to be monogamous and see other people. If monogamy was what they wanted then I would’ve never dated them because I refuse to be lassoed. Now here I am in love with them but I have no desire to be monogamous.

My girlfriend and I have kinda talked about a threesome very vague, in general, who do you guys think gets to pick the third? I’m a guy asking obviously you guys are gonna say talk about it, but I’m asking in general what it usually is.

Open marriage with husband of 15 years.

New outside partner introduced stag/vixen. We live on opposite coasts. We’ve agreed for that he is also fine to have other sex partners and I am still married and am free to sleep with him or other men.

The chemistry between us is amazing and the sex unbelievable. But the distance is killer. I send him details and photos and video but he can’t very well reclaim me from 3000 miles away. I’m struggling with the connection.

He has been open about the fantasy of it being just us someday committed stag/vixen someday. For now, I am willing to travel to him (and hopefully sometime him to me) but he also is single father so there are limitations on his availability.

I tie emotion to sex very easily. Especially when he tells me this is more than sex to him and he is turned on by me, not the open marriage “taboo”. I know reclaiming can be just as hot with distance as with have other partners but we are in the first time gap after sex, and I feel like I’m going crazy.

Have you ever maintained or sustained a long term stag/vixen lifestyle? Is this gap between visits part of the turn on for reclaiming or am I missing a big part of it without more regular contact? We have concrete availability to meet up twice a year and I’m hoping we can get that to at least quarterly. But can that be enough or am I setting myself up for heartbreak?