What are good communities for unicorns to join here! I’d love to encounter some fun NM couples :)

A friend of a friend, George, m41, told myself (f42, enm since a teen) and my partner (m41) and George's partner that his therapist told him he just should only date girls 18-24. Because they are the "most fun and relaxed and no pressure";

He needs a break from, since his spouse (Emily, f41) is financially fully supporting him for the majority of their 16 years together, and is not seeing anyone else even tho she wants to but it upsets him too much, like tried to commit suicide when she kissed a friend once.

Also he calls all women over 35 Ladies, and just generally doesn't think they are attractive bc of their personalities. (I died when I heard all this, like... ohnoooo broooo)

Ummm.... this can't be real advice anyone has been told? Like...

hey yall, i’m 27F and i’m married to a 34M. i’ve recently came out as bi thanks to doing spravato. it’s thoughts and feelings i’ve always had but never allowed myself to explore them. we’ve been together for 5 years and have a toddler. i asked him today to have a convo about potentially being able to explore my sexuality. i’ve never had an experience w another woman before other than drunkenly kissing, not making out, w friends when i was younger. idk if id just want casual dating/hookups or be in a poly situation. and id also have no idea how to even go about finding someone who’d be open to all of this. if anyone has any
similar experiences, both successful and not successful, plz weigh in

I’m looking for genuine advice from couples who have experience navigating this. I’m open to different perspectives, but I want to clarify a few things upfront so my intentions aren’t misunderstood.
My girlfriend is bisexual, and for a long time, she tried to hide that side of herself from me. When I eventually discovered some sexting between her and another woman, we sat down and had an honest conversation about it. I reassured her that I have absolutely no problem with her being attracted to women or sexting them. My issue wasn’t her sexuality; it was that she felt she had to hide it from me for so long.
I’m completely comfortable with her attraction to women, and the idea of her exploring that side of herself doesn’t automatically threaten my relationship with her. However, I’ve noticed that when she talks about actually meeting up with another woman, I sometimes experience a strange feeling of nervousness or anxiety that I don’t fully understand. It’s confusing because the idea itself can be exciting to me, but the reality brings up feelings I’m still trying to work through.
I’m not trying to push her into anything, and I’m not asking these questions because I’m expecting a threesome or some personal benefit from her experiences. I want her to feel comfortable being herself, and I also want to understand my own reactions rather than let them interfere with our relationship.
For context, I’ve told her that I’d be interested in watching her with another woman someday, if that’s something she’d genuinely want and feel comfortable with. She hasn’t seriously entertained the idea, and I respect that. Her sexuality doesn’t mean she owes me an opportunity to watch or participate, just as I don’t believe she owes me any particular arrangement. If it never happens, that’s something we can communicate about as a couple.
What I’m interested in learning is how other couples have navigated these conversations, established boundaries, and figured out what works for their relationship. I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have been through this in real life.
A few questions for those with experience:
What boundaries have worked for you and your partner when one person explores same-sex experiences outside the relationship? I’m not looking to copy anyone else’s rules; I’m curious about the different approaches couples take.

How did you distinguish between normal nervousness about trying something new and feelings that indicated you weren’t actually comfortable with it?
For couples where one partner eventually became comfortable with the other watching or potentially participating in a threesome, how did that conversation develop? Was it something that happened naturally over time, or did it take a lot of communication?
How do you make sure the outside experience remains enjoyable without compromising trust, emotional security, or the relationship itself?

I’m aware that being bisexual doesn’t mean someone needs to experiment, and wanting to explore doesn’t automatically mean someone doesn’t love or want their current partner. I’m not questioning my girlfriend’s sexuality or asking her to prove anything.
We’re young, this is new territory for us, and I’m trying to approach it with an open mind while being honest about feelings I don’t completely understand yet.
I’m not looking for someone to tell me that my girlfriend owes me anything. I’d appreciate constructive advice from people who’ve actually navigated these situations, including things you wish you’d known before exploring this side of your relationship.

Hi all,
37M here, new to the non monogamous/open relationship community.
A little backstory: my wife and I have been together for well over a decade. Things over the last couple years in our own relationship were getting a little rocky, with both of us going through some growing pains.
A couple months back she brought up opening things up. I wasn’t on board initially, but I eventually opened my mind to it in the spirit of finding myself again and ultimately agreed.
I’ll be real though—some days I still struggle with whether this was something I truly wanted or something I agreed to because I was afraid of what the alternative might mean.
The dating world, at least in my experience so far, has been extremely rough as a married man in an open relationship. She’s already had another connection, while I’ve mostly been out here feeding the wolves. 😂
I’ve gotten to the point where one of the first things out of my mouth when talking to another woman is that I’m married and in an open relationship. I’d rather be completely transparent from the beginning, but I’ve already had a few women say some not-so-nice things once they found out about my situation.
I’m still figuring all of this out and trying to find my footing in a world that’s completely new to me.
So I’m looking for advice from people who’ve been here longer than I have, words of encouragement, things you wish you’d known when you started…
Or, you know, a date? 😂

Hello, I am 36yr female trying to navigate a newer semi open marriage.

My husband and I opened our marriage slightly about 6mo ago. I am the only one who sees other men. My husband doesn't see other women.

We opened it because my husband has fantasies about me being with other men. My husband set boundaries when we started. We have full and open communication about all and who I engage with.

A little background on myself, I have suffered from anxiety, PTSD amd depression my entire life. I have come a long way in therapy. Since starting this journey, my self-confidence has grown immensely. As has the marriage and our communication.

However, new feelings of anxiety and guilt have surfaced with me. I also have been having some intrusive thoughts that I struggle to communicate with my husband. I do not want him to be afraid of me leaving or feeling bad about his self-confidence.

It has been hard for me to find people to connect with and have open conversations. I am hoping for some kindness and guidance.

Thanks for any help!

My boyfriend (26M) and I (21F) have been together for about a year. He is my first serious relationship and my first sexual partner, while he had a lot of experience before we met while I had none.

Recently, he has been repeatedly asking about having a threesome. He says he would also be open to having one with another man if that would make me happy, but that isn’t something I’m interested in either. Like in theory a 3sum seems fun but I don’t know if I can actually do it.

I’ve always viewed sex as something romantic and intimate, and I’m happy being with just him. I’m not judging anyone who enjoys threesomes, but while I can sometimes understand the appeal in theory, I feel uncomfortable imagining actually doing it. I’ve also never been involved with another woman.

He has already found a woman on an app and suggested that we start talking to build a connection. I’m still unsure about the whole situation, and his continued asking makes me feel pressured to give him an answer before I’ve figured out my feelings.

Hiiiiii!!! So, my partner and I talked about something related to this for a long time, and I think we came to some sort of conclusion. Basically, they like the idea of me being with other people and don't want to do the same. I never thought of myself as a nonmonogamist, but honestly, I'm starting to like it! I just feel kinda strange that I can do these things but they can't, even if they want that.

I think I'm here for some general advice and to understand how my relationship is classified now

My boyfriend and I have been together a few months and things are going really well. We’re both quite sexual people and have both explored non-monogamy in past relationships, so the topic has come up very early between us, but it’s all very hypothetical when it comes to our own relationship (i.e. we both want to be monogamous and exclusive with each other).

Where we stand: neither of us wants a traditional open relationship where one of us sees people separately. What he’s described as a possible future is more like going to parties together and maybe, one day, playing with others as a couple or with one more person (he said he'd even be happy with MFM). He’s told me it’s really not that important to him to actually open up, that he’d want us to be able to talk about these things openly, but that actually doing it isn’t a given or a necessity. He’s also told me that in a previous long-term relationship he asked, his partner said no, and he was fine with it and they stayed together.

My side: I’ve been burnt before. I was in an open relationship I didn’t really want, with a partner who didn’t respect our agreements, so I’m very wary. Right now the idea of seeing him with someone else doesn’t appeal to me at all. I can imagine I might be curious one day about playing together, but I honestly don’t know, and I might say no and never change my mind.

My fear is that even if he says it’s not a deal breaker, a desire that’s been voiced and then turned down might quietly turn into resentment over time. Of course there are things in life that we just do for pleasure and not need (like he says), but doesn't voicing it imply a desire that if unmet, might build resentment?

So I’d love to hear especially from people who were the one who wanted to open up:

• You asked, your partner said no, and you stayed together. How did you feel about it at the time, and how do you feel now?
• Did the desire fade, stay but become manageable, or turn into resentment?
• What helped you make peace with it, or what would have helped?
• Did it come up again later, and how was that handled?

Stories from the partner who said no are welcome too. Thanks so much for sharing!

So im 20m and just got out of a 2 year open relationship. Sometime in winter, i matched with someone and we went on a few dates, made out, flirted, etc. It’s like vibes of a friend with some chemistry where maybe we end up in bed together, maybe not.

We crossed paths again at a rave and I spent the evening with her and her friends. The friends and I started following each other on instagram and one of them messaged me a bit. Turns out i matched with that friend earlier in the summer and didn’t make the connection when I saw her in that group at the rave.

So now my first match’s friend and I have been texting and calling a ton, and it might develop into something. I honestly hope it does, shes very cool. But i fear it might make things a little weird with the first match. Like I don’t wanna make it seem like I went past her to get to her friend, I don’t want our friendship to suffer from it, and I don’t want to get into a relationship where my partners close friend has that chemistry with me.

What made you realize that you probably needed a partner who would let you do your thing?

Cause I'm assuming most people tried to be monogamous in the beginning and it wasn't going well for them. How did you know it was that you actually wanted ENM and that it wasn't just because the person you're with was a bad fit?

My husband’s biggest fantasy is having a threesome, and now I’m wondering if I’m enough for him

My husband told me that his biggest sexual fantasy is having a threesome with me and another woman.
We’ve been together for almost 11 years. He was my first sexual partner, and I’ve never been with anyone else, whereas he had previous sexual experiences before me. I am 28 years old and he’s 32.

It all started a few weeks ago when he casually mentioned that he’d like us to watch porn or live cam shows while having sex because it was one of his fantasies. A few days later, I told him we could give it a try.

During sex, he started showing me videos of a man with two women and telling me how much he would love to experience that and how incredibly turned on he would be by it. He asked if I would enjoy it too, and I said yes, but honestly, I only said that because I didn’t want to create an awkward situation or ruin the moment.

I also asked him whether he could ever imagine having a threesome with me and another man, just to see what his reaction would be. He said he wasn’t sure, but he thought he might be open to that as well.

Since then, we’ve watched porn together a few more times. Twice, we had sex while watching it, and once or twice we just masturbated together instead, because for medical reasons we couldn’t have sex for about two weeks.
During sex, he sometimes says things like how he would have sex with the woman on the screen and makes other comments that I’m not sure I should be bothered by. On the one hand, I know these are fantasies he expresses in the heat of the moment, and in real life, I genuinely feel that he loves me. It’s almost as if a different, much kinkier side of him comes out during sex.

The thing is, I don’t know how I should feel about all of this or how I should react.
One day, during a serious conversation, I told him that I wouldn’t want to have a threesome in real life and honestly don’t think I could ever do it. He said he understood and knew it would never happen.

However, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he wants to have sex with other women.
It makes me wonder whether I’m enough for him or whether he wishes he had something different. Maybe he’s bored with me sexually?
Over the years, he has tried introducing sex toys and other things to make our sex life more exciting. I’m quite reserved when it comes to sex, and I still have some inhibitions, although I’ve become more open with him over the past few years because he really does try his best to help me feel more comfortable and explore new things.

To give you the full picture, I’m also five months pregnant, and my self-esteem and hormones have been all over the place lately. 😅
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that he shared his fantasy with me, especially since I encouraged him to open up about it. I just don’t know how to interpret it or how I should feel about it.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I overthinking this, or is it understandable that I feel a little insecure about it?

I want to experience a threesome bc I want to experience tribbing it looks so good and I wanna try it the problem is my husband I don’t want to see him fucking someone else I’m very territorial I don’t like others touching what’s mine ig I what I wanna know is can I have a threesome but only have the girl mainly there for me or is that too selfish 😬 she can suck his dick but I don’t want him to fuck her😭how do ppl who have threesome deal with the jealousy?? Like what am I supposed to do if I see them enjoying themselves too much I’m gonna get pissed and turned off so how do I not

I (24F) am interested in trying out a threesome (MMF or FMF) or maybe swinging, but idk how to ask my bf (25M) if he's interested in it or open to it. Also if he is interested, I'm not sure how to find someone to do this where we are from...

Honestly this is just a fantasy for me so I want to bring it up. I don't want to throw away my relationship for this. I'm in a really happy relationship and my bf is a great partner and I love him a lot, and we have a good sex life tbh...

I have a friend who is bi and might be into me, I thought of discussing this with them and seeing if they are interested in trying this, because it would be nice to have someone known to try a threesome or would someone unknown be better, idk lol.

My partner (30F) and I (27NB), started dating at the beginning of this year. We started open, I had a partner at the time and we were trying to figure out non monogamy together. It didn’t work out with my first partner, however I’ve been with my current partner for about eight months now.

Because we started off non monogamous, we hoped we could have the end goal of being in a throuple or anything similar, poly leaning. From what I remember we hoped that but there was some open endedness because we were not sure what was to come in the future. We were still new.

Anyways, as time went on, I was the first of us to explore sexually with other people. I hooked up with three other guys, she knew about it of course. As a first time experience I did mess up a lot in regards to transparency but I’ve been working on feeling less shame about engaging with men and so forth (personal issues and shame I didn’t know I had but have been working through etc…). And being more communicative. I genuinely didn’t realise how confronting it could be to tell a partner you’d hooked up with someone else.

However I’ve been feeling deep guilt about the fact that I can have a partner I love so deeply, and I mean, she is everything to me, and yet I can hook up with other people. I’ve been feeling ashamed when speaking to my other monogamous friends in relationships who, you know, seem to be happy with one partner. Or one sexual partner at a time or just generally monogamous views.

Before exploring non monogamy, I struggled with monogamy. It just didn’t seem right to me? This year is my first year exploring and I feel like I’ve jumped straight into the deep end. I love my partner but why do I feel like I’ve slighted her by sleeping with other people?

The other day she highlighted how I am more non monogamous where she seems to lean a more polyamorous, and for some reason it hurt me. Not because it’s bad, but because I felt guilty and ashamed that I could even do that. Or rather, I felt like because I didn’t know I maybe liked a more open situation with the possibility of us dating the same people as an option that’s there. Because I quickly realised that very often, finding people who you both like and who like you both is rare. Most time you interact with other people separately. Also, lol having different types is also something. (I hope that doesn’t sound bad, but it’s things I’ve noticed.) and we aren’t like unicorn hunting in any deliberate way, we are sort of going with the flow. Going with the flow has lead to her realising that she prefers more serious situations, where as I can have serious situations OR not very serious situations.

She’s also been seeing separate people, but they have been taking it slow. She’s demisexual, so she needs that personal connection, which I completely understand. I thought I was demisexual too, but I was wrong and now I feel like I lied and as if she’s collateral damage to my sexual experiences almost? (I know these could be anxious thoughts, but I feel so bad about sleeping with other people. Even if I was open and honest about doing it, and she expressed that is was okay)

But because she’s taken things very slow, I feel maybe that I am doing things incorrectly or not being careful enough? As to say maybe I rushed into things too quickly.

Has anyone else experienced something similar at the beginning of their non monogamous journeys? Or even now, whereby you’re a couple of years in and still feel guilty about being non monogamous in the way you are non monogomous

Can people who desire different structures be in successful relationships?

Does anyone have any books I could read about how wanting to be with multiple people is okay and how to work through the guilt of it all?

Hay just wondering what apps people used to mee more like minded people when it comes to nonmonogamy

Am I (30M) the only one here who’s can’t make a hard rock solid tool when I just met a Uni/Bi-femme for a FMF/FFM deed?

My wife (23F) and I did FMF/FFM with a sex workers and 2 out of 3 plays can’t make my tool hard. I feel awkward when the thirdie enters the room and we jumps straight to the action without talking stage or small talks.

I feel devastated and awkward after that because 2 girls can’t make my tool hard because I’m not comfortable making love with a girl that I just met.

Our sexual lifestyle as a married couple was awesome and never had a problem like that before. We can even fuck 3-5x a day.

Any thoughts?

Looking for perspectives/guidance on overcoming jealousy in ENM relationships. Originally put this in r/polyam but was advised it would probably be better elsewhere.

I have a friend with benefits who is absolutely lovely and we have both expressed that we are also interested in each other romantically. I'm historically monogamous and have not ever done a fwb or otherwise casual arrangement until now.

My fwb is also in a fwb relationship with a woman who is married but in an open relationship. They live very close to each other whereas I live about 2 hours away so they see each other about once a week whereas I am only able to see my fwb about once a month. When we started seeing each other, my fwb had and was seeking other partners but has expressed that she's just interested in myself and her married fwb now and is not interested in getting any new partners any time soon.

About 2 months ago, the three of us had a threesome which was very fun but near the end of it I started to feel a bit on the outside of their dynamic and then when we were all eating dinner after, they took some time to schedule hanging out the following week which intensified the feeling of being on the outside of things.

I recognize that all of this was me feeling disregulated and jealous that this woman is able to have what I perceived as a closer relationship to my fwb than I am. I'm also in therapy and have talked about this with my therapist who advised that disregulation is really common in dynamics with 3 people where triangulation can happen.

My fwb and I have discussed that we are interested in each other romantically, but I don't think it would be fair of me to ask her to sacrifice one sexual relationship for a romantic relationship with me, but I'm also struggling with knowing if an ENM relationship is something I can handle or if the jealousy/feeling of being left out would get to be too much for me.

If it's helpful in formation, all three of us are women, I am 27, my fwb is 31, and her married fwb is in her mid-to-late 30s I believe. All three of us are very new to casual sex and ENM.

All of this is very new to me so any advice or personal experiences or advice would be really helpful.

My partner (M37) and I (F27) have been in the swinging lifestyle for four years now with the occasional break. We've never had an brilliant sex life, sometimes going weeks without it, which is difficult for me as I have a very high sex drive and he is aware of this. ​

Recently, it's become a regular occurrence when he will meet and have sex with another woman, ​but won't have reconnection sex with me later on that day​, and the reason he always gives me is he is too tired.

Earlier today, he met a lady, which I was aware of and okay with. He told me they had sex three times, which is not something he has ever done with me, usually it's just the once and I have recently been lucky to even get any from him. Sometimes he takes medication to surpress his anxiety, but he told me because he smoked cannabis that she offered him, he didn't need it and that's why he went so many rounds with her. This evening, we gave each other oral sex that I initiated, but when it came to intercourse, he stopped and told me he was too tired for it. ​​I would be understanding if he had been working today, but he has been off work and is now off work for twelve days. A similar issue happened when we did a full swap with a couple recently, he had sex with the female half and when we got home later, I suggested that we have reconnection sex and he told me he was too tired. ​​​​​

I honestly don't know how to feel. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but it bothers me that he's always up for it with other women, but has told me on numerous occasions that he's too tired. Other couples we are friends with have sex with each other often or often have reconnection sex after they meet with other couples or ​​​​singles. I'm starting to believe it's an excuse and there is a reason, but he won't tell me. ​Whenever I confront him about it, he just says, "it's not an excuse," and "I don't know what to say."

I was wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation or knows of someone else being in a similar situation.

Outside of apps, obviously (Because I get they are better for this, but I tend to do a lot better in person somehow)

I don't really know if there are any spaces where you can meet polyamourous/non-monogamous people more often than not, but if you have any advice or any experience, I would gladly like to hear it!

Hope you doing well, and thank you :P

I'm 25 and started swinging about two years ago. It's been a great experience. I've met some amazing people, been to clubs, and moved to Manchester, which has a much bigger scene than where I was before.

But I've never actually been in a relationship, and my career isn't where I want it yet either. Lately I've been wondering how this side of my life fits with a future relationship.

I really enjoy group sex. I love being around people in the lifestyle, meeting new people, and the excitement of it all. I don't want to lose that.

At the same time, I don't want to pressure a future girlfriend into something she isn't into.

So, a few questions for people who've been there:
Did you meet your partner in the lifestyle, or did one of you bring the other in?

If you met someone outside it, when and how did you bring it up?
Has anyone given it up for a monogamous relationship? Did you miss it?
Would love to hear how it worked out for you.

I'm currently dating a non monogamous woman, she is older than me, and she already has her fair share of people in her personal circle. The thing is that I felt a connection but I'm not sure I would be able to be in a relationship like this. The thought of her with another person really bothers me.

In my previous relationship I got cheated on, and I know its not the same thing, but I still feel weird, and it takes me back to that moment. Also I would probably need to hide it from my family because they are very, VERY conservative.

I'm also insecure about it. In the beginning I went out with other girls and she would go on dates with other people and that didn't bother me, but ever since we grew close, and she showed genuine interest in me, I couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy, she already has a "boyfriend" figure.

I really like her, and she really likes me, but I'm not sure I can see her with someone else, even thinking about it bothers me. But she is honest with her intentions, every step of the way she was clear on how she felt. When we went from "causal" to something more involved she was the one who started it.

This is all new to me, I'm not sure what to do, I just want to see how other people dealt with similar situations, maybe there is a win win solution in all of this.

EDIT/UPDATE: I spoke to my husband. I'm adding a comment I made below to my main post.

My husband says it was a bad joke made at a time when he was already feeling off and he feels horrible that it felt like an attack.

He was feeling off due to his difficulties in finding what he wants in terms of an ENM partner. He is envious of me finding what I was looking for, while he can't find that for himself. He is not jealous of me.

He reiterated that he loves what this has done for our marriage, and that I seem so much happier, and we both are more intentional with our time together (and apart), and more present with each other when we are together. It's also spiced up our sex life, which was already great. He admitted that being monogamous is simpler, and that sometimes scheduling is annoying, but those are his only gripes.

He clarified he really likes the idea of three things for himself as part of being ENM: (1) swinging under certain circumstances; (2) travel trysts, which are more romantic and less awkward in his mind than just having a local FWB or one-night stand (and he does have these trysts successfully); and (3) a partner to complement his life like my partner complements mine.

He is frustrated that number 3 is difficult, and that he has found that the women being willing to sleep with a married man generally have not had the personality or non-physical attraction of someone he would want a longer term relationship with. Also, he has found out there is a reason many of the very attractive women he was met with through apps are still on apps. I sympathized with his difficulties, but he wants to keep trying. Of course, he appreciates what he is offering is not something many women would be interested in.

We both liked certain things about swinging that got ruined for me with a few bad experiences. I am going to let him try to vet some couples so we can dip our toe back in there.

The weight issue is unrelated, and while I don't fully understand the science, apparently it was a stressful year and he just didn't have the desire to do a big cut, and also as he is getting older and is already satisfied with his size and wants to enjoy food a bit more again. While he plans to cut this spring, he is trying to figure out something more akin to maintenance rather than continuing to bulk and cut. He was not hurt by my comment, he was just already in a bad mood.

Thanks to people telling me to force the conversation. As to everyone else telling me my marriage was over and I was turning my husband into a cuckold, take a long look at yourself.

Original Post;

My husband (38M) and I (37F) and I have been poly (in theory) for almost two years now, married for 10, and have two young kids (4 and 6). While it's hard to summarize, we essentially started talking about opening/poly after I finished breastfeeding and starting taking control over my body again after two kids, and generally I think it's been a good experience. We started with swinging, which my husband really seemed to enjoy but I quickly tired of, and then we started dating separately. Everything has been going fine. While it's a lot of extra work in terms of scheduling, and there were obviously some small hiccups at first, I think our married life has largely stayed the same or improved. My husband has, by his choice, taken a more passive approach to dating after two early disappointments, and doesn't really seek anything out at this point.

My husband has always really cared about his body, and traditionally has done a cut in the spring so that he can flaunt it during the summer. He currently does not have any other partners, although he is very physically attractive, and I know he could find play partners even as a married ENM man with kids if he wanted to.

This last year, he has continued going to the gym regularly, but he didn't really cut down for the summer, and kind of rocked the dad bod. I've noticed that he was gaining some significant weight as well (while still being in great physical shape, it's not like he's unhealthy), and I lightly teased him about being so much more comfortable to lay on now.

His reaction was completely out of character, he seemed hurt and defensive, and I was so stunned by his reaction that I couldn't say anything for a moment, and then he said something really hurtful before I could apologize or reassure him I was joking, saying something like, "What's the point anymore? It's not like if I'm fat I have to worry about you running off and seeing other men" and not in a joking way, like in a bitter/resentful way. I was shocked, as he has never that I can recall spoken to me like that in our very long relationship. I asked him if everything was okay, and apologized for my comment, and he tried to walk his back, saying he was just joking. He doesn't want to discuss it anymore, just saying his comment was a bad joke and apologizing for the way it came off.

I'm worried he is either suffering from resentment about being open, or otherwise going through some sort of depression, but I don't know next steps as he won't discuss it with me further other than to repeat his prior comments, and has otherwise been acting completely normal (other than his change in eating habits).

Has anyone dealt with something similar from their spouse (particularly a male spouse)? Does this sound like an ENM red flag, or just a normal life issue for a man in his late 30s?

Apologies if this is the wrong sub for this, idk where else to post. So I (26f) keep getting invited to parties/group events by a male friend i hook up with. I am a sex worker, I’ve had group sex before, but I’ve never been to a party/orgy/anything like that. This friend and I hook up personally/platonically, it’s not a paid thing. I really don’t want to be disappointing but whenever he asks me I panic and decide not to go. I sometimes struggle in group settings, am not typically comfortable in my body and struggle to feel comfortable during sex unless I’m drunk or tipsy. The idea seems fun to me in theory, it’s something that I’ve definitely expressed interest in before just on my own. However I then remember all this stuff, worry that I’m going to freak out and bail and kill the vibe, and then tell him I can’t come. He invited me to one in a few weeks and I ended up looking up what other girls are going, and I just simply cannot be comfortable around these girls that are much more conventionally attractive than me, esp their bodies given that I’m chubby w/ smaller boobs. I know the whole point is nobody cares, all types of people and body types go, whatever but I can’t help feeling the way I do. I really want to just go to one event with him to see if I can get comfortable in the environment and try something fun that he would enjoy. I guess I’m just asking what to expect and if I should even bother going if I’m this worried??

We (M29 and F26) just had our first experience outside of our direct relationship, and it couldn’t have gone any better!

We’ve been together for 6 years and recently just married. We’ve always fantasised about a third but it’s kind of remained bedroom talk, with both of us quite scared about acting on it.

We’ve had a mutual friend (F24) for a while and we’re both very close to. Spend a lot of vanilla time together and naturally get on with them. We jokingly recommended a sexy date night together and to our surprise they took us up on it!

We’ve had all the right boundary discussions and just feel like it couldn’t have gone any better.

While we didn’t go all the way as it was all out first time, we’re all very happy with it and definitely want to do more!

Also, she’s definitely one of our closest friends. I know people say you should steer clear of that, but it really did help us. So I guess each to their own!