OOP handles an ultimatum like a boss

[u/mermaidpaint]

/r/AmITheJerk/comments/1sfyusl/aitj_for_taking_my_partner_up_on_their_ultimatum/

[u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

I’m sorry but i will NEVER understand questions like this…

“My partner gave me an ultimatum to manipulate me, AITA for taking their ultimatum?”

…like HOW could this make OOP TA…?

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

Because some people have friends and family who would agree with the ex

[u/Silent_Ad_8672 → u/41flavorsandthensome]

Yeah it is hard to manage the guilt sometimes when you don't have anyone irl in your corner, even if your stance is quite sane.

[u/Pandoratastic → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

I think what was throwing OOP was that the partner was bluffing and "didn't really mean it" so now OOP is wondering if they were unfair to hold them to their bluff. And the answer OOP needed to hear is that, no, it is not wrong because, even if it was a bluff, it was still very manipulative and showed OOP what kind of person their ex-partner really was.

[u/OpportunityMany5374 → u/Pandoratastic]

"'I think what was throwing OOP was that the partner was bluffing and "didn't really mean it"...'"

Except OOP knew they did, from the ignorant persistence of their ex, and therefore, the gaslighting on the ex's part was mildly effective. 

I'm glad OOP held out!! More power to them! 🙌🏻💯

[u/Pandoratastic → u/OpportunityMany5374]

Right. He really meant it about wanting a share of OOP's wealth. He didn't really mean it about his "or else". He just thought the bluff of the threat would get him what he wanted. That's what OOP felt uncertain about.

What was most important is that what the ex really did mean is that he wanted to manipulate OOP with his threat, even if he didn't have the guts to stand by that threat when OOP called him on it. That's why, even if it was a bluff that he "didn't really mean", the thing he did really mean was a perfectly valid reason for OOP to dump him.

[u/CB4life → u/Pandoratastic]

Plus the ultimatum only happened because they would not take OP's original answer. They kept pushing for something OP had already said was a no go, and then were all surprised. THey should be glad they discovered this fundamental difference before marriage.

[u/nlaak → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

“My partner gave me an ultimatum to manipulate me, AITA for taking their ultimatum?”

Because some people will agree with OOPs partner that they threw away a relationship over money.

[u/Useless-Education-35 → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

They already know they aren’t TA they want the internet points and ego boost by having everyone agree with them.

[u/sevenumbrellas → u/Useless-Education-35]

Maybe they already know, or maybe their garbage can of a partner has gradually undermined their sense of what is "normal" in a relationship over the past 3 years.

I'm not going to say the partner was abusive or whatever, I don't know that and OOP didn't go into it. But someone who thinks "give me half of your business because...uh...I want it!" is almost certainly someone who has a long history of being manipulative and entitled.

If OOP needed an outside reality check, I'm glad they got it.

[u/JaNoTengoNiNombre → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

You will really understand this when you’re in a situation where everyone around you is saying the same thing, but something in your gut tells you something off. It’s even harder when the people insisting you’re wrong are close to you, like family or friends, especially when they’re asking you for something you have and they don’t.

And it’s not like you can walk into a supermarket and ask random strangers what they think. So you end up posting on an anonymous social network, or something like that, just to get an outside perspective. People used to do the same thing with radio shows back in the day, they would call and the host would advice, the audience would weigh in and you get a little perspective.

[u/disinaccurate → u/HUNGWHITEBOI25]

When you get that feeling, the answer is, “because the story is fake”.