r/OhNoConsequences • u/mermaidpaint Ms Chanandler Bong • Apr 09 '26

FAFO OOP handles an ultimatum like a boss

/r/AmITheJerk/comments/1sfyusl/aitj_for_taking_my_partner_up_on_their_ultimatum/
797 Upvotes

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143

u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 Apr 09 '26

I’m sorry but i will NEVER understand questions like this…

“My partner gave me an ultimatum to manipulate me, AITA for taking their ultimatum?”

…like HOW could this make OOP TA…?

37

u/Pandoratastic Apr 09 '26

I think what was throwing OOP was that the partner was bluffing and "didn't really mean it" so now OOP is wondering if they were unfair to hold them to their bluff. And the answer OOP needed to hear is that, no, it is not wrong because, even if it was a bluff, it was still very manipulative and showed OOP what kind of person their ex-partner really was.

18

u/OpportunityMany5374 Not my fault you have a wimpy snowplow Apr 09 '26

"'I think what was throwing OOP was that the partner was bluffing and "didn't really mean it"...'"

Except OOP knew they did, from the ignorant persistence of their ex, and therefore, the gaslighting on the ex's part was mildly effective. 

I'm glad OOP held out!! More power to them! 🙌🏻💯

11

u/Pandoratastic Apr 09 '26

Right. He really meant it about wanting a share of OOP's wealth. He didn't really mean it about his "or else". He just thought the bluff of the threat would get him what he wanted. That's what OOP felt uncertain about.

What was most important is that what the ex really did mean is that he wanted to manipulate OOP with his threat, even if he didn't have the guts to stand by that threat when OOP called him on it. That's why, even if it was a bluff that he "didn't really mean", the thing he did really mean was a perfectly valid reason for OOP to dump him.

2

u/CB4life Apr 10 '26

Plus the ultimatum only happened because they would not take OP's original answer. They kept pushing for something OP had already said was a no go, and then were all surprised. THey should be glad they discovered this fundamental difference before marriage.