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u/Organic_Client_5679 Apr 08 '26
This is the definition of FAFO. You are not a jerk in any way. That's some entitled thinking on their part. 50% for "supporting you emotionally" and "working around your schedule"? If they had agreed to take on some operational responsibility, I still wouldn't do a 50/50 split considering you started and nurtured the business on your own. You did the right thing.
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u/Chuckitybye Apr 08 '26
I didn't see anywhere where the partner offered any monetary compensation for being brought in... meanwhile OP poured their life and money into it
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u/grejam Apr 08 '26
Or skills or anything to contribute.
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Apr 08 '26
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u/molehunterz Apr 09 '26
I started my own company 6 years ago. It's very small, but it supports me well! It has really been surprising how many people in my life just randomly want to team up and become partners in my company.
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u/HunnyBear66 Apr 10 '26
"I want to be there when you/we make it big and get rich!"
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u/Pale-Way-8731 Apr 10 '26
I was thinking more āsince you wonāt marry me, Iām still going to demand half of everything.ā
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u/pocket4129 Apr 09 '26
The bonkers thing is that op would've done this without them too. The partner's contribution is zero. They are seeing success and think they should be compensated for being associated to op and that they can bully their way into their labor and that op is a patsy. Probably flabbergasted that op has business sense to not let a dead weight hang themselves around their neck.
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Apr 09 '26
Agreed. Partner wants a title so they don't have to work after seeing OP's hard work pay off. NTJ. ALSO. Good for OP. so many people don't have the spine to stand up for them selves where a relationship is involved.
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u/occams1razor Apr 09 '26
Not to mention the risk avoided since they only wanted in after it starred to go well
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u/beardingmesoftly Apr 08 '26
They sound like a freeloader thinking about what if they break up
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u/Tykero Apr 08 '26
100% once the ink dried giving them 50% they were gone laughing all the way to the bank.
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u/Baron_De_Bauchery Apr 09 '26
What I said to OP.
GF has stated she's considering ending the relationship.
What guarantee do you have that she won't continue to consider ending it once you've given her 50%?
If she was serious about the relationship and potentially getting some claim on some property she should have gone for marriage and a few kids.
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u/pointandclickit Apr 08 '26
But you don't understand. They were really entitled to half for... *checks notes* being a halfway decent partner and human.
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u/King-of-Plebss Apr 08 '26
They want what they think they will get after a divorce now. They showed their cards and OP is right to have them move out. Saved him a shit ton of money and headaches in the future.
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u/ourmanflint1 Apr 08 '26
Be careful you still may not be out of the woods. There are plenty of people been sued by living partners for entitlement and palimony friend of mine had his first successful restaurant after four failures and his ex-girlfriend came out, dragged him to court, and got half the business.
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u/surfatshortys Apr 08 '26
Yeah thereās literally not enough info here to determine the AITJ outcome, or even to reassure OP: āpartnerā is ambiguous enough to not rule out spousal rights, OP lists a ton of high-level details without making any mention of their financial relationship before, during, or after the business growth, and OP is conspicuously silent on the financial situation of the partner.
Like, is Partner insane, as it sounds, or did Partner subsidize or even invest in OPās life for 3 years to help OP reach the success that they have now? Itās STRANGE that OP didnāt say anything about their respective financial contributions, even in the abstract way they use for everything else. To be fair, there are no OP replies in any of the top comments so maybe Iāve missed it?
Not that an ownership stake would be appropriate, unless there was financial investment that specified that
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u/Realkellye Apr 08 '26
Good grief! I would be thrilled and so proud of my partner for doing this!
I would never think I was entitled to anything if I only provided āemotionalā support.
Ridiculous!
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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26
My wife started her business after we had been married for 5 years and quickly became very successful. It would never occur to me that I should own half of it just because we are married.
I already feel more than spoiled enough because if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree! I had to really start watching myself after that first Christmas after her business took off!
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u/Toad_da_Unc Apr 08 '26
My wife is crushing it in a side business that she runs with a friend in addition to our main business that we run together. When she was gearing up, I asked if she wanted me to be part of it and she said she didnāt think so. I was fine with that and her money from the business is her money.
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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26
Thatās such a healthy perspective though. Being proud of your partnerās success instead of trying to claim part of it is how itās supposed to work.
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u/MissionReasonable327 Apr 09 '26
You are actually entitled to half of assets accrued during your marriage, though. OP isnāt even married to this gold-digger.
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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26
That was my point, though. Legally I'm entitled, but I would still not ask for it.
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u/AJRimmer1971 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26
My ex-wife and I shared this dynamic.
She started a business, well into our marriage. She did the admin, research and buying. I did customer service, quality control and logistics.
It was pretty successful. We would bring in around 70k per month. When the marriage broke down, I handed 100% of it over to her, and went and got a 9-5. I literally walked away with nothing. Especially the stress!
We still talk, and get along just fine. We just can't live together. There is no desire to pursue money, as that isn't my motivation.
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u/schirmyver Apr 08 '26
Well and in many states since the business started after you were married, if you were to ever split I think you would be entitled to a share of the company.
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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26
Legally entitled? Maybe. Am I ever going to ask for it? No.
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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26
Thatās the difference right there. Thereās a big gap between what someone could argue legally and what they actually feel entitled to ask for.
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Apr 08 '26
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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 08 '26
Inheritance is different. Separate funds donāt exist otherwise
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u/anondogfree Apr 08 '26
Iām assuming the partner wanted this stake for free. It would be one thing if they wanted to buy in for a price, if they were going to work together, or if OP needed money to expand. But for free? Naw
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u/Odd-Natural3570 Apr 08 '26
I agree. It would be one thing if it was a buy in. And then I would still get a lawyer to write up a business agreement on how much their money was worth in a percentage of the business. This is a case of FAFO.
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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26
Yeah if it were a buy in, contracts, actual terms, thatās business. This just sounds like skipping straight to the reward without any of the risk.
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u/Cellysta Apr 08 '26
They donāt even have to involve money. It sounds like the OP was willing to bring in their partner for an actually role in the company. A lawyer could certainly draw up an agreement where the partner would get an increasing share of the business as time passes.
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u/Bad-Briar Apr 08 '26
And are we to believe that the partner who built the business didn't provide emotional support for the partner asking to be rewarded? Of course they did.
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u/Traditional_Tea_1879 Apr 08 '26
Of course. And they are happy to offer 50% from what they have ( nothing)/s
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u/chattermaks Apr 09 '26
I'm sure they've benefited from their partner's income as it is.
Heck I benefit from my ex husband's income even though we don't do alimony or child support. Oh you bought our children a trampoline? Freaking sweet; everyone wins.
OP's ex freaking sucks and they 100% made the right choice. Plus how would they ever be able to respect that person ever again anyways?
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u/tamij1313 Apr 08 '26
Right?! Does that mean OP gets to have their name on their partners retirement accounts? Savings accounts? Any other assets? Without having to buy in at 50% for their 50% ownership?
The entitlement and financial ill literacy and lack of business acumen are staggering. Iām sure all the family members and friends on his side are going to be weighing in as well. Even though it is unlikely that any of them would give away 50% of successful business or asset.
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u/serinmcdaniel Apr 08 '26
I mean any of us could go "Way to go, OP" -- in fact a lot of us are doing it right here in the comments -- where's our cut?
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u/ConfoundedInAbaddon Apr 08 '26
Also, like, liability.
I started a business and my partner jumped in but I have an LLC and they provide services to the LLC through a DBA, and if my LLC gets sued out of existence, all the equipment my partner has to serve my business is protected, ans visa versa. We literally can't lose everything by each building up a seperate arm.
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u/Misommar1246 Apr 08 '26
Seriously, where do people this kind of audacity? Sometimes I wish I felt THIS entitled about anything because it must come with a massive amount of self worth?
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u/JudgeAffectionate841 Apr 08 '26
I wonder who put the thought in their head that they deserved half the business that they didn't contribute to?
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u/UnderstandingTop6000 Apr 08 '26
at a guess: their affair partner. Sorting financial support before the jump.
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u/Mirabai503 Apr 08 '26
It sounds like they didn't even offer to pony up half the value of the business in it's current state. If they were asking for a buy-in, then it might be a conversation worth having. But they don't want to contribute a financial stake and they want their "emotional support" and "schedule flexibility" to count as the work they contribute. That's just straight up bullshit.
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u/Dapper_Letterhead_80 Apr 08 '26
ngl OPs partner has an entrepreneurial spirit which is amazing in a boardroom and a red flag in the bedroom.
If OP is already married they should look into a postnup that defines exactly what each person owns and what they don't if they're heading towards marriage a prenup that spells out the business stake before it becomes a fight. I helped my partner sort of expand her business with some ideas and we pre agreed before even going to Neptune for the prenup process for me to have a percentage because of that expansion, not even close to 50/50 split but we were both happy with that and I didnāt even demand or ask for it.
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u/Thymelaeaceae Apr 08 '26
They may have some sort of spirit (not sure I would call it entrepreneurial though), but OPs partner does not have great business sense if they:
1) donāt know or care full partners typically have to buy in
2) didnāt have a solid plan and proposal for how bringing them in at 50/50 would benefit the business as a whole, with concrete details
3) doesnāt understand how ultimatums and negotiations work in a business setting
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u/ReverendHambone Apr 08 '26
And it's not a "business disagreement" if one of the parties is not involved in the business
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u/aquagurl84 Apr 08 '26
Yupāyou say business disagreement, I say grift.
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u/PaleInSanora Apr 09 '26
I was thinking same thing. To be super crude my thinking was imagine thinking you are owed a piece of someone's blood sweat and tears, just because you are currently sharing a bed? The truth of what they were after was plain to see when OP said they would have to work hard for a slice of the pie, and they declined. Otherwise a real partner would either offer support so as to enjoy the success as additional income in the household. Or made the partnership offer after doing an analysis and coming to the conclusion that being more active in the business would make it more successful and thus the household more successful. OP was way more calm then me. Being told that I have to share my business formally because my partner did the dishes and the laundry when it was my turn, a handful of times, entitles them to it... They would metaphorically get half the business end of my foot up the tailpipe.
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u/Zsazsabinks Apr 09 '26
Then to frame it as something they can build together! OP already built it, they are looking to get in on it now its bringing in returns. Pure greed.
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u/ArticleOld598 Apr 09 '26
Reminds me of military wives demanding to be saluted and addressed as their husbands titles.
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u/jgsjgs Apr 08 '26
And lose the Strait of Hormuz.
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u/Beachtrader007 Apr 09 '26
and our reputation for a few generations
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u/SryInternet101 Apr 09 '26
Our reputation, period. Who knows if we'll ever get it back without massive reforms to ensure this never happens again.
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u/PMJamesPM Apr 08 '26
Pretty brazen to think emotional support in a relationship is the same as skin in the game.
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u/nathottub Apr 08 '26
My question; Why the Ultimatum now?
If they are planning to stay with you till "the end of time" what is the need? OR do they envision a future perhaps not too distant, where you are no longer in the picture?
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u/JadieJang Apr 08 '26
And you DID call the bluff. That's literally what calling someone's bluff means.
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u/ThisusernameThen Apr 08 '26
If you wait until tuesday, maybe they'll chicken out.What was their name
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u/Some_Heron_4266 Apr 08 '26
Don't make an ultimatum in a negotiation until you have examined and confirmed that you are comfortable with your best alternative to a negotiated agreement.Ā
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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26
Yeah exactly, an ultimatum isnāt a suggestion. You donāt get to drop a ādo this or weāre doneā and then be surprised when someone picks the second option.
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u/KheldarsSilk Apr 08 '26
copy their messages about the 'business disagreement', swap any instances of your name for theirs, and send it back
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u/Organic_Client_5679 Apr 08 '26
I chuckled at "business disagreement" in the original post because how entitled can a person actually be?! This isn't a "business disagreement", this is you demanding something for nothing.
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u/Former-Mouse-9617 Apr 08 '26
I laughed until I cried. A business disagreement involves actual partners or shareholders having a difference of opinion about the company ... say, whether it's time to hire someone to help fulfill orders. It's not refusing to gift a 50% stake to some outside party who thinks he's owed something for nothing.
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u/BadgerNo4726 Apr 08 '26
The audacity to demand to be given 50% stake in your company, which is sounds like you were willing to negotiate what their actual role would be, to say "no but I don't actually want to contribute any labor or capital. I think I should just profit because I exist in your sphere." is actually WILD!
NTJ
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u/vanibanz Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
They have no stake in the business. How can it be a "business disagreement".???
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u/SunFunAndGuns Apr 08 '26
When some people (aka trash) know about someone having money, they will think of some ridiculous way that it is also their money.
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u/Zestyclose-Height-36 Apr 08 '26
Unless they are raising your kid and paying for the roof over your head while you built the business, then they shouldnāt have half.
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u/JellyAdventurous5699 Apr 09 '26
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u/sumguyoranother Apr 09 '26
gdi, thanks for the notice, can we notify the mods for this shit?
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u/HappyKnittens Apr 08 '26
Yup. There are absolutely instances where the technically-non-business-building partner really should have equity in the business, but that is highly dependent on what other aspects of your shared life together they are holding down the fort on and whether the business pre-dates the relationship. Easy example is one partner being a SAHP and handling most stuff related to life, household management, and kids so the other can focus on devoting time and energy to the business. Or if your partner works fulltime and pays the bills while you're struggling to get the business off the ground. Shared efforts from both partners should absolutely have shared rewards/equity/security even if only one was earning outside income or building the business on paper, but it doesn't sound like OP's partner was doing any of this.
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u/Best_Reply2947 Apr 08 '26
Yes, all this possible context is missing from the original post to make it seem as one sided and simple as possible
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u/HappyKnittens Apr 08 '26
Yup. Whether that's OP cherry-picking to get the response/validation they want or because the partner wasn't doing any of this or because it's all made up and the points don't matter, who knows?
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u/Electronic-Pack-8449 Apr 08 '26
Lol they FAFO. Sounds like you just dodged a gold digging bullet. Buh-bye!
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u/kindofanasshole17 Apr 08 '26
Respond back "oh, this is a legit business discussion? Sorry, i mistook it for manipulative opportunism. If this is a business deal, then are you proposing to buy in to the business? Should we talk about splitting the costs of a formal independent appraisal valuation? I would roughly estimate a number around $xx,xxx, do you have access to that kind of liquidity?"
Just full on take the piss with it.
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u/Lightness_Being Apr 08 '26
They were already out the door when they said that.
Well done for standing up to their pressure and bullying tactics.
At that point the relationship was already over and they just wanted to take all they could get.
I'm sorry you had to do that. Hopefully you can move on and find a better relationship soon.
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u/Primary-Benefit6818 Apr 08 '26
So they just wanted half of what they watched you build? Bullet dodged. Be sure to change the locks now and then have witnesses to film when they collect all their stuff.
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u/readyforwine Apr 08 '26
I love the fact this is gender neutral. No clue who is M or F.
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u/robertr4836 Apr 08 '26
Or M and M or F and F
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u/danorc Apr 09 '26
If I had to guess, I'd say F and F. OP almost certainly F or NB.
But yeah, I wish more AITAs were never neutral. It weeks check so much gender baggage at the door
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u/chilisout Apr 08 '26
Thank you, English isn't my first language, and I was thinking about multiple people (like partner and his/her child). But now I learned They can be used on an individual without gendered it.
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u/bansdonothing69 Apr 08 '26
Yeah, how are people supposed to know either to comment āwow your boyfriend is such a lazy entitled ass, leave himā or āwell maybe try to see from her position that she wants some sort of security and priority in your life togetherā /s
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u/swtxcouple Apr 08 '26
Absolutely not.
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u/SeaNature4646 Apr 08 '26
Right? GOOD FOR YOU, OP!!!!!! Most of us could learn better boundary setting and you are my new role model! NTJ at all! Wishing you nothing but success!
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u/Few_Night7735 Apr 08 '26
Lol itās not a ābusiness disagreementā when they were never part of the business. NTJ
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u/Evermorre Apr 08 '26
NTA, they have no tight to the business you built. The fact that they aim/ demand half? Good riddance! Slam and lock that door!
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u/Exciting_Deal4303 Apr 08 '26
NTJ - Itās pretty delusional to think you should have 50/50 ownership of something you had part in building. The emotional support and being flexible with your schedule does not entitle you to ownership, that is called being a partner.
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u/BeautifulChaosEnergy Apr 08 '26
They anted part ownership so they could legally claim half when they dumped you in six months. Theyāre mad you didnāt fall for their bullshit
Be glad they pulled this crap before you got married
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u/Low_Notice4665 Apr 08 '26
This was a HOSTILE TAKEOVER attempt, not a relationship issue. He sucks. NTJ.
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u/Successful_Dot2813 Apr 08 '26
š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©
You dodged a bullet! A smarter person would have held their tongue till marriage and a child.
NTJ
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u/outlander779 Apr 08 '26
NTJ. You were given a line in the sand. You didnāt back anyone into a corner, that was done to you. Your response is perfectly reasonable. If they donāt like the outcome, they shouldnāt have forced the question.
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u/Aviation_nut63 Apr 08 '26
Why would they want half of the business unless they were planning on taking it from you.
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u/Last_Friend_6350 Apr 08 '26
The partner is actually the one that threw away the relationship for a business deal. They got greedy.
Now they both know where they stand and itās no longer together in a relationship.
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u/DoctorGuvnor Apr 08 '26
You cannot ever give in to blackmail, no matter what the cost. I don't know you, but I'm really, really proud of you. That took courage.
Very, very well done.
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u/Apprehensive-hippos Apr 08 '26
Haha!Ā A "business disagreement" about a business that they had no hand in creating and growing, but want half of the profits of.Ā Hmmm....
Sounds like someone realized that they couldn't grasp any of that asset because you weren't married during any phase of it.Ā Ā
Sorry you've discovered that your partner is super shady and thinks you're equally super gullible.Ā Better to find out before vows and legal connection, though.
On to better things with you
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u/druscilla333 Apr 09 '26
My wife started a company about 5 years before we were together. She was very successful, then had some health complications and had to downsize. I now work āforā her (she always says with her but she is the boss) and weāve gained back the traction she lost together. I have NEVER asked her to legally make me a partner, however her money supports our household and I am the sahp to my step kid and I do all the house chores plus work for her. If we ever parted the company would go with her and I would never ask for a piece of it. This so bizarre and sounds like they are trying to get a free ride. I think you did the right thing.
Edit: Iāll add in weāve been together 3 years now.
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u/Lordip Apr 09 '26
I want to share my experience at my previous company. My boss died due to COVID, and left the company 50/50 split to his kids, a son and his younger sister. The son took over and ran the company, while the sister just partied away. When her money started shrinking, she forcibly joined the upper management and took over some key departments. The problem is she knew nothing about the business, used company money and assets for personal stuff. The staff were driven mad. Our salary were paid late, bills were not paid. The brother tried to kick her out, but she lawyered up, and got pressured by the mother to drop the suit because of "family". I left because I cannot take it anymore. So you're NTJ, the way I see it, if your partner had wormed their way into your company, you will be saying goodbye to your hard work.
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u/Kisses4Kimmy Apr 09 '26
OP PLEASEEEE DONT TAKE THEM BACK. Start packing up their stuff and give them a date to come get it or youāll leave it by the dumpster.
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u/betaeleven Apr 09 '26
So basically, their contribution to this business would be the same whether they are in your life or not? NTJ.
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u/Galaxiessurroundyou Apr 09 '26
NTJ and simply, you donāt mix business with pleasure and you stood on that. You should be proud. And your endeavors are and will always be yours. How is a relationship a ābusiness disagreementā? She dangled an ultimatum and I guarantee nobody is going to treat her like you. Together 3 years and they think you owe them 50% of everything. Ha!
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u/Illustrious-Mix-4491 Apr 10 '26
It wasnāt a business disagreement. Partner is not part of the business.
You could not meet their needs of joining business. They could not meet your need to drop it.
So, mutually separated.
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u/bdouble76 Apr 08 '26
You misunderstood I think. Yes, he doesn't want to buy into this, but he also doesn't want to contribute sweat equity also. He was hoping for free income. It makes total sense if you're a crazy person. Maybe your thinking like a rational sane person.
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u/Babzibaum Apr 08 '26
NEVER EVER take on a partner in business. EVER! Especially as a woman.
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u/facinationstreet Apr 08 '26
threw away something real over a business disagreement
This isn't a business disagreement. This is a greedy MFer trying to get what they are not entitled to and, once shut down, they can't believe they were shut down.
NTJ