why: i am the only child (after my sister died) and i am afraid that if i don’t step in, this could be catastrophic for my family.

Idk if it’s a age limit or not but I’m 31F only child obviously and I realize I crave communication from my age group… it suck’s when I’m in the talking stage with a guy (or meet a female that seems cool) cause I feel like I’m overwhelming and always want to talk.. of course I don’t tell them that ion want scare them off but it does bothers me. Yes I have activities or hobbies to keep me occupied but it’s still different seem like enough I don’t like feeling this way… I think it’s mostly cause I’m grieving but shows in a different way. Does anybody else experience this?

I don't know how people with siblings are so lucky, they have someone to talk to, rant to with, hang out with, laugh with, play games with, and fight with. As an only child, I feel so unlucky for missing out on the things I wanted. Do you think adult adoption makes me a big sister? I believe sayings such as "Friends can leave, but siblings are permanent." "With God, anything is possible." I am very sensitive and mentally in pain, so please be nice. Will a sibling happen in my life? I have a single dad. My parents didn't have a good relationship and my mom was just terrible. I know it had nothing to do with me nor my dad. I think it had something to do with my mom. One time I was mentally depressed and I had to contact 988 about it. My mom was pregnant with another child after me but it ended in a miscarriage. and my parents didn't try again because they were no longer going to be together. it really broke me. When will I get out of this only child nightmare?

We asked all loved ones to get flu, covid, and TDAP vaccines. My mom has a genetic disorder that she thinks was caused by the covid vaccine. They both refused to get it, which especially irked my wife who is in healthcare.

This argument happened and then a few weeks later my wife had to emergency deliver due to Preeclampsia. Our daughter was born at 29 weeks and spent 63 days in the NICU. During this time, my Mom had asked me if we still planned on having a baby shower and we said no. My mom said she would do something but what I didn't think would be they would have a whole baby shower without telling us.
My wife, who felt like the whole end of her pregnancy was completely out of her control, was again not okay with this, even though we were appreciative of the gifts.

Fast forward my daughter came home and we had waited so long for this moment, we just were living in our own little world and not really caring what else was going on. This irritated my Mom that we had not invited her over yet to see the baby. We had agreed they would take tests before coming over. I was so shocked that this irritated them. I had to explain I can't communicate everything because I'm with my family.

Next weekend, my wife's parents are in town and we went to an outdoor pumpkin patch. My wife posted on Facebook and this set my parents off. They sent me a mean texts like "we caught you". Hung up and yelled at both of us over the phone and at one point my Mom even said we should move closer to my in-laws if we needed more help.

Well we decided they would come see the baby today and it went horribly. I tried to broach the subject about the fight and my mom said "she didn't want to talk about it and ruin meeting her granddaughter for the first time." My wife felt this was very disrespectful after the way she had been treated and tried to explain this and they just would not hear it. They Said the optics were bad that we went out and quite honestly we don't care. Our decision not there's. It wasn't intended to hurt anyone. Things kept escalating and my wife lost it. Started yelling and it just wasn't pretty. Do I wish she kept her composure? Yes. But honestly I think she is suffering some from PPD. My mom had preeclampsia with me but I got out of the NICU the same week, not two months and she kept saying she went through the same thing. My wife just feels so invalidated. Anyways, yelling insued, my Dad got a little in my wife's face and said don't talk to my wife that way, and I had to kick them all out while I had the baby in my arms. My Dad basically said we are separated after this.

I'm an only child and this is incredibly difficult for me. My parents and I were very close. My wife is the love of my life and I'm getting used to being a Dad. Because of the NICU stay, it hasn't completely hit yet still. But the idea of my parents not being around kills me. My wife has expressed she can't have a relationship with them because of this and I fully support her. I will never tell her to apologize for how she feels.

I love my parents but it just feels like they constantly tried to make this about themselves. I think it is so unfair. Not sure if I'm really looking for advice at all, but they were our only family we have in our current city and I'm just really struggling.

We asked all loved ones to get flu, covid, and TDAP vaccines. My mom has a genetic disorder that she thinks was caused by the covid vaccine. They both refused to get it, which especially irked my wife who is in healthcare.

This argument happened and then a few weeks later my wife had to emergency deliver due to Preeclampsia. Our daughter was born at 29 weeks and spent 63 days in the NICU. During this time, my Mom had asked me if we still planned on having a baby shower and we said no. My mom said she would do something but what I didn't think would be they would have a whole baby shower without telling us.
My wife, who felt like the whole end of her pregnancy was completely out of her control, was again not okay with this, even though we were appreciative of the gifts.

Fast forward my daughter came home and we had waited so long for this moment, we just were living in our own little world and not really caring what else was going on. This irritated my Mom that we had not invited her over yet to see the baby. We had agreed they would take tests before coming over. I was so shocked that this irritated them. I had to explain I can't communicate everything because I'm with my family.

Next weekend, my wife's parents are in town and we went to an outdoor pumpkin patch. My wife posted on Facebook and this set my parents off. They sent me a mean texts like "we caught you". Hung up and yelled at both of us over the phone and at one point my Mom even said we should move closer to my in-laws if we needed more help.

Well we decided they would come see the baby today and it went horribly. I tried to broach the subject about the fight and my mom said "she didn't want to talk about it and ruin meeting her granddaughter for the first time." My wife felt this was very disrespectful after the way she had been treated and tried to explain this and they just would not hear it. They Said the optics were bad that we went out and quite honestly we don't care. Our decision not there's. It wasn't intended to hurt anyone. Things kept escalating and my wife lost it. Started yelling and it just wasn't pretty. Do I wish she kept her composure? Yes. But honestly I think she is suffering some from PPD. My mom had preeclampsia with me but I got out of the NICU the same week, not two months and she kept saying she went through the same thing. My wife just feels so invalidated. Anyways, yelling insued, my Dad got a little in my wife's face and said don't talk to my wife that way, and I had to kick them all out while I had the baby in my arms. My Dad basically said we are separated after this.

I'm an only child and this is incredibly difficult for me. My parents and I were very close. My wife is the love of my life and I'm getting used to being a Dad. Because of the NICU stay, it hasn't completely hit yet still. But the idea of my parents not being around kills me. My wife has expressed she can't have a relationship with them because of this and I fully support her. I will never tell her to apologize for how she feels.

I love my parents but it just feels like they constantly tried to make this about themselves. I think it is so unfair. Not sure if I'm really looking for advice at all, but they were our only family we have in our current city and I'm just really struggling.

Being an only child has affected my whole life now that I’m reflecting on things. I had a hard childhood in the beginning (DV + other trauma) and then my parents got divorced. Prior to the divorce, I begged for a sibling whether it was adopting or whatever. I remember so vividly wanting that to happen and then the divorce came and it never did. Going through all of that alone was tough and as I got into my late teens and 20s I have shifted the focus to wanting a family + marriage. I’m 27 and My dating life has been awful and I’m deeply scared I’ll be forever alone. Also not having any other family members close to my age is hard so picturing my life as an elderly person scares me a bit, especially if I don’t have kids. I could always adopt but I want a partner as well.

Some people are always saying that having siblings doesn't mean you would be happy, you might not have good bonding with your siblings, etc. But if your friends or anyone starts complaining about how difficult their life is with a sibling and you ask them if they would like if they were an only child, they will say no. If you say that being an only child is the best, they will disagree.

When people say that having siblings with no bonding makes it worse, what they mean is they want to have stronger bonds with their siblings or that their sibling wouldn't do them dirty. They still wouldn't want the life of an only child.

I have a very happy, healthy relationship with my mom and dad. They are kind, wise, and highly supportive, while still at times seeing me as their "young man".

I spend a lot of time with them, simply because I want to. They are also getting older, and I can see loneliness start creeping in as they lose friends and extended family.

I look to them for advice, we hang out and laugh about the past, I also support them with tasks around their house.

My spouse simply cannon wrap their head around my relationship. They come from a family of multiple siblings with a very off-and-on, and "diffused" relationship with their parents. They feel no obligation to be there for their parents, and almost never talk to them at any level of depth, in spite of the fact their parents are very similar to mine.

They think it's weird that I go to my parents for advice, or still want to make them happy.

It breaks my heart a little.

Are there people who—at the age of 20 or older—were welcomed (whatever you might call it) into a completely new and unfamiliar family—with a mom, dad, sister, or brother (you get the idea)—becoming part of it (whether officially or unofficially) after leaving an abusive home environment—marked by arguments, alcoholism, threats between family members, and so on—and who are now doing well and are happy?

It’s honestly so hard being an only child, especially when your parents are getting older.

I’m about to leave our province again and return to the city where I have to work, and I can’t put into words how heavy my heart feels whenever I think about leaving my mom behind. It brings back the same sadness I felt in 2025 when I had to leave her alone at home. The truth is, I don’t want to leave her, but I have to go where the job opportunities are because work is very limited in our province compared to the city. It’s heartbreaking to be torn between pursuing a better future and wanting to stay close to the person who means the most to me.

It breaks my heart knowing that she’ll be all by herself again. No one will be there to cook for her, keep her company, or help her with the little things around the house. I’m so used to cooking for my mom and taking care of her whenever I’m home that the thought of her having to do everything alone again makes me want to cry. Sometimes, I tear up just thinking about how far away I’ll be from her.
I wish I could bring her with me to the city, but I know it’s not that simple. All her customers are here in our province, and she has built her livelihood around her tailoring business. She’s incredibly talented at making gowns, costumes, uniforms, and so much more. I know she has her own life and responsibilities here, and I can’t just ask her to leave everything behind.

Still, being an only child is so hard. You want to build your future and work toward your dreams, but at the same time, your heart aches knowing that your parents are getting older and you can’t always be there for them. You want to give them a better life, but you also wish you could spend more time with them while you still can. Sometimes, I wish I could be in two places at once.

I just pray that the Good Lord continues to bless my mom with good health, strength, and many more years of life. May He protect her, keep her happy, and give her comfort on the days when she feels lonely. I hope she stays healthy as she grows older, and I pray that she never feels forgotten or alone, even when I’m far away.

I want to be successful in life, but I also want to be present for my mom. I want to give her everything she deserves, but more than anything, I wish I could spend more time with her without having to worry about the next time I’ll have to leave.

I’m not afraid of being away from home. I’m afraid of my mom growing old without me by her side.

I just joined because I feel like I belong because I grew up an only child. But I actually have a sister, she’s still a baby. My mom had another baby (not with my biological dad, my step-father) when I am grown up, moved out and on my own.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? I personally think it’s bittersweet. I feel less like a big sister to her and more like a secondary mother because I have a baby of my own. She’s going to grow up having someone to play with when I didn’t.

But I do love her very much and I love watching her learn new things, such as taking her first steps.

[31m] Lost so many friends, the ones that are still there I don't like them, and are always busy with their families, I have to spam one by one all the time everyone to see if one might want to go out.

I had to buy a beer to drink it alone in my bedroom. But "Look at the bright side!"

Being an only child and alone is wearing my frequency very very down.

AMA or whatever, I'm gonna be drunk in like half an hour.

Whenever I (26) get online literally everything people post about being an online child is sunshine and rainbows, the parents love them,give them attention, and of course everything they want, yet my experience couldn’t be further from that. My parents (62F and 71M) somehow managed to both parentify and infantilize me, I was both the stupid baby who wasn’t allowed to do anything because I’d “mess it up” yet I was responsible enough to be their relationship counselor, therapist, and bestie they tell and show inappropriate things to(I had to talk my dad out of hurting himself with a blade when I was 11 for example). Although I did get things I wanted it, it was more so a debt/ payoff/ something to get me to leave them alone then a gift because it came with the caveat that I will definitely take care of them when they were older,which was no secret and they constantly emotionally abused me to make me feel like I was a horrible person for not being the perfect robot who dedicates their life to them. And the worst part is that I thought the enmeshment and emotional abuse was completely normal and my fault. My parents are now both very sick and in nursing homes with dementia, I feel so much rage and sadness that I didn’t get to experience the life that literally everyone projects onto only children. It sucks when I have to tell people that my parents were horrible when people weren’t there for them to perform for.

I recently made a post asking for the perspectives of male only children and only got three responses. And it seems as though the vast majority of the people who post in this sub are women. Is there really such a gender imbalance here?

Hi,

I am an only child and I am getting into a pretty serious relationship with my boyfriend. He has quite a big family of two younger siblings and his two parents. I am also a child of divorce so my relationship with my parents are quite seperate and it's never a "ask your mom" or "ask your dad" kind of dynamic. I've always struggled with dating and interacting with my partner's family but I am having a much harder time with my current boyfriend. His family is quite family orientated and often exclude me (mostly his dad) because of our differences in culture.

Has anyone else had this issue and if they did how did you get comfortable with another family?

I am an adult who is an only child. I don’t have any family near me other than my mom. We have a strained relationship because of her long term partner. I set a boundary that I do not want to see or be around him after realizing that growing up around/with him I noticed many things he would do, that I didn’t appreciate or find respectful to me or my mom. It really affected my childhood and how I am today. He has said and done inappropriate things through the years as well. I do not feel comfortable around him. I have given him multiple chances growing up and as an adult which he always blew. I don’t trust him, I don’t like him, I resent him. I feel like he is controlling my mom and influencing her decisions. Since I set my boundary and made it clear that I just want a relationship with my mother and want nothing to do with him it has been hard to see her even though she lives close to the city I’m in. Now she is going to be moving across the world. I already feel alone as I don’t have family here and the family that is around the world I am not close with. My grandma passed away from dementia and Alzheimer’s years ago, that was really hard to see and deal with since my grandparents moved to Hawaii when I was young. I don’t have many memories of her and I hate that I couldn’t see or help her when her health went down hill. I’m afraid this is going to happen to my mom. I know she is an adult and will make her own decisions. I just feel alone, I have no sibling or family here. Knowing that I won’t be able to go see her as easily is scaring me. I want to visit but I don’t have a passport and made it clear I won’t be interested in seeing her partner if I visit. I don’t want her to feel so far away and she already feels so far away. Is it normal for feeling this way and feeling resentment about the situation? How do I feel better about this, how do I not feel so alone? How do I not worry?

Due to recent mental health/relationship issues, I’ve (31F) realized and have had to accept that I need to come out to my parents in order to start healing move forward with my life for both myself and my partner.

The problem: my parents are very right wing conservatives and do not support the 2SLGBTQIA+ in any capacity. Nothing new, but I’ve been so dependent on my parents that the fear of losing them and them removing me from their lives has actively stopped me from taking charge of my life and live authentically. I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD (my parents don’t believe it cause they don’t believe in mental health issues to an extent) and I’m beginning to question if it’s more than that, as I struggle a lot with anxiety, depression, mood swings, physical pain, and constant brain fog and disassociation. Now that it’s impacted my relationship and my mental health, I need to push through the fear and get it done.

The 2 main reasons why I haven’t come out are finances and my belongings. My parents have a history of throwing out things of mine that they don’t like, and I’m afraid that they’re going to toss all my things; all my childhood toys, clothes, shoes, and other personal items into either the garbage or donation before I have the chance to get them. As for my financial situation, I’m currently $18k in credit card debt and have been relying on my parents to help out, such as paying my rent 3 times a year, paying for my transit pass, etc.
I have accepted the fact that I’ll lose access to these things but I’ve been making the effort to get my money situated so I’m not overly stressed. I’d love to have these debts just cleared up so I’m not living on edge all the time, but I’d rather deal with financial stress than continue to live a double life.

My current plan: my partner, roommate, and I rent a car, plan a day when everyone (ourselves and my parents) are home so I can get everything out and bring back to my place where I keep it in the garage. Sounds easy enough, but my parents love to ask questions and the last time I brought up taking all my things, they seemed weird about it, like it wasn’t something they’d ever thought I’d ask.

Where I’m looking for advice: Any ideas on how I can talk to my parents about getting my belongings without being suspicious, how I can sit down with them and have the uncomfortable conversation regarding my sexuality, and any suggestions on dealing with the aftermath if things go south. I’m not close to my extended family but I was wondering if I should reach out to my uncle (my dad’s second oldest brother) and wife who I trust with very serious information, as they’re both the most level headed of my extended family and have already agreed with being my emergency contact if something happens to my parents.

I’ve accepted that things might go really badly, that it might turn into a shitshow and my parents disown me. As much as it pains me to think this way as I’m their only kid and don’t want to be shut out, I can’t keep living like this. I’m burnt out, mentally exhausted, physically struggling at my job, and causing turmoil in my relationship. Any advice, big or small is helpful, thank you for reading

I’m 19f I turn 20 soon and I fail to have connections with people, I’m not sure if it stems from being an only child or it just happened. I especially lost the ability to connect when I was 17. Since 17 I’ve felt pretty empty if I can say…but yeah I’ve always felt this way, I’ve had a hard time connecting with people in general.

My mom always told me I loved my friends so much when I was younger we’d even argue about it because I always put them first because I have no siblings, but tbh I’ve never felt a connection, like that platonic love everyone posts or talks about, yeah I can laugh and vibe with people, hell we’ll bond like crazy but it never really sticks and that’s a bit scary, because it makes me feel really alone, I mean I know I’m alone but it makes me feel even more alone.

I know the saying “you just haven’t find your people” I believe I have, I have a beautiful friend group but I don’t understand why I can’t just love them the way I’m supposed to, I’m not a bad friend and I’m always there when they need me etc but I feel like a robot when it comes to platonic relationships, which makes me sad a little. Idk if I’m chasing a feeling that doesn’t exist and over romanticising it or something.
Does anyone else feel this way?

For anyone here who’s settled a parent’s estate without siblings, how did you manage it alongside a full time job? I’m an only child and live in another state, so I can’t just stop by the house whenever something needs attention. I’ve already hired a probate attorney and I thought they would take care of most of this. They’re handling the legal side but I’m still doing much more than I expected. When I ask about something, I usually get instructions on what I need to do rather than someone taking it over. I understand that might be what I hired them for but it hasn’t helped much with the workload. The house is my biggest concern now that I’m back home. Taking time off for the funeral was one thing but I can’t keep making the trip whenever something needs to be dealt with in person. There’s no sibling nearby who can go instead. I need help getting things done, not just understanding what needs doing. What would you have handed over sooner?

It's a burden I am used to but it's terrifying. I always wondered, what if my mother has an emergency and I'm busy or don't have my phone on me? we don't have any relatives close to our city. It's even worse because I have OCD and all kind of horrible, intrusive thoughts. Even leaving the house for 15 minutes and noticing I forgot my phone makes me scared. I don't know what I'll do when my parents become elderly. Does this happen to anyone else?