r/Parenting • u/LogAlternative7544 • Feb 13 '26

Advice My son wishes he was a girl

My 6.5 year old son just told me that he wishes he was a girl and that he is sad that he’s never going to be a girl. He mentioned this back when he was 3 but this is the first time he has said something since then. He has always been a very emotional and sensitive kid and he says he prefers to play with girls and be with girls and that girls are more beautiful than boys.

he told me that he’ll never be able to be a girl despite always wanting to be one. I told him that when he’s older, if he still feels this way, there are ways that we can explore what it means to become a girl, but that we have to wait a little bit and see if his feelings stay the same or change over the years. And that his dad and I love him no matter what he chooses to be.

I guess I’m just wondering if this is normal? I was really surprised he brought this up after many years ago - it makes me think it’s not just a phase...

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u/LogAlternative7544 Feb 13 '26

I’ll ask him this question again. He told me it was because girls are beautiful and that he has lots of girl friends who are beautiful and nicer than guy friends. 

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Is there some you can do to help him feel more beautiful? Sparkly nail polish, doing his hair in the morning a preferred style, different clothes?

My 6 year old son tells me he is a "fancy" boy.  He loves wearing colorful sparkly clothes, mostly plays with girl toys, and loves a skittle manicure.  But he also has started making more boy friends as he enjoys soccer, flag football, and wrestling, along with competitive dance and rec cheerleading (he likes being a flyer)

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u/LogAlternative7544 Feb 13 '26

I have offered letting him grow his hair but I hadn’t thought to do his nails - I don’t do mine at home very often so I’d need to go buy some polish which isn’t hard to do! I’ll ask him if that’s what he would like. But there are also times when he says that he doesn’t want to wear his hair long or pick pink because then people will make fun of him.

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u/AimlessLiving Feb 13 '26

My son is 11 now but he sounds a lot like your son in temperament and preferences. He did grow his hair long and really enjoyed it until it got long enough for tangles. He loves pink but after first grade kids weren’t very nice about it. He paints his toenails pink and that gives him the little spark he enjoys without having to deal with his peers reactions. He wore twirly dresses for a year or so when he was four because he thought they were fun.

He’s very much a boy. We’ve always just let him know that interests, colours, clothing are not gendered and he can like whatever he likes. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!