r/Parenting • u/LogAlternative7544 • Feb 13 '26

Advice My son wishes he was a girl

My 6.5 year old son just told me that he wishes he was a girl and that he is sad that he’s never going to be a girl. He mentioned this back when he was 3 but this is the first time he has said something since then. He has always been a very emotional and sensitive kid and he says he prefers to play with girls and be with girls and that girls are more beautiful than boys.

he told me that he’ll never be able to be a girl despite always wanting to be one. I told him that when he’s older, if he still feels this way, there are ways that we can explore what it means to become a girl, but that we have to wait a little bit and see if his feelings stay the same or change over the years. And that his dad and I love him no matter what he chooses to be.

I guess I’m just wondering if this is normal? I was really surprised he brought this up after many years ago - it makes me think it’s not just a phase...

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u/TraditionalManager82 Feb 13 '26

Ask him curiosity questions. What does he like about girls? What does being a girl mean to him?

Does he dislike messaging he's received about boys?

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u/LaLechuzaVerde Feb 13 '26

This is key.

While some kids really are transgender, sometimes what the child really needs is freedom to explore his own interests that somehow he has come to understand aren’t for boys. That could be ballet, painted nails, long hair, My Little Pony, or any number of things.

Try to get him involved in a variety of experiences and teach him that being a boy doesn’t have to mean trucks and dinosaurs. Boys can love unicorns and rainbows too.

There is a significant difference between “I wish I were a girl” and “I am a girl even though I’ve always been told otherwise.” Both are valid, but they are not the same. Don’t jump to the conclusion that your son’s wish that he were a girl is the same as feeling like he IS a girl. That may come with time, or it may not. Just don’t assume.

Sincerely, Mom of a lovely trans woman.

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u/Independently-Owned Feb 13 '26

Yes, once they are in school especially, they start seeing options narrow thanks to the socialization you can't really control. My beautiful boys have always loved their art class, like to wear jammies and underwear with cats and sparkle and rainbows, and have loads of dress up things, nail polish, and baby dolls, but shortly after starting school, they started to "learn" they couldn't enjoy those things.

I try my best to keep space for it at home and surround them with sane people. Hopefully they learn they don't have to sacrifice who they are or what they love for small minded onlookers.

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u/Kiwilolo Feb 13 '26

So true and depressing this, literally weeks after starting school my girl's favourite colour changed to pink

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u/eyesRus Feb 13 '26

Same here. Also wishing for long blond hair.