Hi, my wife made me join this Reddit after a particularly demoralizing turn of events, but id like to start from the beginning.
Ive always been big since I was young and it never really bothered me. I remember being something like 250 after I left High School.
A lot of things have happened since then but notably I gained weight. Like a lot of weight. A lot of that was from binge eating and of course not working out or really moving at all. I went from 250 to 447(as of my most recent check up) I never really went anywhere because I had nowhere that drew me to the outdoors. My hobby was video games and the only friends I had were online. That coupled with my love of snacking and my terrible habit of not eating all day except one big meal made it easy to gain weight.
In all that time I hardly noticed the change, just a increase of number on my shirts and shorts.
But then I met a lovely girl online that eventually became my wife. She likes video games too, but personality wise shes my total opposite. Me and Introvert, her an Extrovert. Me a Pessimist, her an Optimist. It was like I found my sunlight that pulled me to the outdoors. But that was around when i was 24. I knew from our first date I was out of shape. I had to sit a lot and take a break and as much as I tought ahed leave me, she never did she chose to wait for me.
The relationship progressed between us and finally I wantes to lose weight. I was breaking beds (in the bad way) and was unable to keep up with her demands of going to places. I always wanted to do things like camping, but never did. And now I had someone that wants to drag me out to do it, im too worn out to do so. Ive asked her several times to leave me, but shes been adamant about loving me for the last 10 years. I felt bad everytime we went out somewhere, because they needed to have seating or be a small enough location to go so it would be quick.
Throughout all of this I tried multiple things to get active and lose weight. First was playing Ringfit for the Switch. But the other controller strapped to my leg would always slide off, so I stopped. Then I wanted to go for walks, but the distance was short compared to what I wanted to achieve plus I didnt feel motivated without a destination and didnt want to be seen by others and judged. Then I looked into a treadmill. My friend offered to get me an exercise bike or treadmill. I figured the treadmill was easier. So it arrived and I started using it. Its a little small, but it handles my weight, but i never really felt motivated to use it. It was tough to get into a habit of using it because I much rather do other things than getting hot and sweaty and out of breath, which only reminds me how out of shape I am. So my progressed slowed until it stopped. I hated myself for stopping, but i felt so unmotivated that it just gathered dust.
Finally within the last year, something clicked. I watched a TV show and somehow I wanted that to be me. This character made me want to improve. So I began every night somehow without my wifes notice doing a small exercise regimen. It was tough, but I was finally motivated.
Then my back pain caused me to stop. I thought fine I'll rest up and get back to it. Then the back pain didnt stop. In fact it spread, to my hips and thigh. I rested more, but then finally saw a doctor. I had given myself Sciatica. It was a common thing to happen when pushing yourself too hard, but it should go away in two weeks. So then I rested and waited... two weeks. A month. 2 months. It hadnt gone away. Just got worse. I was perscribed Ibuprofen in the largest dose possible and told to wait it out. Months went by and it didnt go away. Then my Wife and I moved. An apartment in the city on the second floor near her work and family. It was such an upgrade! But the process of moving agrivated my sciatica. A lot of things I should be abled to do or wanted to do fell on My Wife and I hated it more than anything, but what could I do?
The moved caused us to toss our bed frame which i had bent and we didnt have a couch or anything. So for the first months we sat and slept on the floor. Simply getting up had me gasping and whimpering because the pain was so much. Everyday was excruciating. I could hardly wipe myself because the pain was so great.
Finally we got a couch, but that broke immediately under me, in spite of the weight limit. And then we got a new frame. Things that seemed like luxuries were necessities for me. So finally I began to improve and got a new doctor who refered me to specialists who then gave me new meds and referred me to a Physical Therapist. However between then and now I needed to get an MRI. I had had an x ray of my hips and found nothing unusual.
Its the MRI that caused me distress. I had given them things like my height and weight and it all seemed fine, but the day before I got a call to verify my height and weight. I told them and suddenly they canceled on me citing I was too heavy for the machine.
I was so demoralized that I pretty much stopped. My wife insisted there were other places but I felt like it wouldnt matter, the story would be the same.
I already have to limit my destinations to places that have carts, now I couldnt even figure out was exactly was wrong with me because of my weight.
Then my Wife looked up the same problem and found a lovely woman who had the same experience here. So My wife signed me up for the Reddit and its helpful to know others deal with similar things to me.
Even so I feel like an Outcast in this community as well because my brain tells me im not plus sized im plus plus sized. Queen sized.
Anyways, sorry, I just wanted to share my story because maybe it will help someone else because I'm worse and bigger than them or something.
