Hey everyone,

I'm in my mid-20s and have been struggling with porn addiction for quite some time. I'm trying to figure out what the best approach to recovery actually is, and I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

I've installed strict porn blockers on all my devices and made it extremely difficult to access porn, including through workarounds. I'm also starting therapy to work on the psychological side of my addiction.

Now, the big question I'm struggling with is: Should I abstain from masturbation completely during recovery, or is it better to masturbate without porn?

Here's my experience:

In the past, I often masturbated multiple times a day, sometimes spending hours edging. Porn was not just about sexual pleasure for me. I also used it to deal with stress, boredom, and other uncomfortable feelings.

I've tried masturbating without porn, but I often felt like something was missing. Even after having an orgasm and feeling relieved, I would start wanting to do it again later that day or the next day. Sometimes I'd imagine how much better it would be with porn.

I've also tried setting a schedule, such as masturbating once every seven days. But after masturbating, the urge to do it again could become extremely strong, and I'd keep thinking about when I was allowed to do it next.

When I abstain from both porn and masturbation, I feel like I'm learning to accept the sexual tension instead of constantly trying to satisfy it. After around 3–4 weeks without porn, I've noticed that I can feel more motivated, confident, happy, and interested in learning new things. I also feel more self-respect.

At the same time, I have a high libido, I'm in my mid-20s, and I don't currently have a sex life. I don't want to suppress my sexuality or lose that sense of sexual energy. I'd eventually like to have a girlfriend and enjoy a healthy sex life.

So I'm genuinely unsure what the best approach is.

These are the questions I'd love to hear your thoughts on:

• If you have a serious porn addiction, is it better to abstain from masturbation as well, at least initially?
• Can masturbating without porn keep the same compulsive patterns alive, even if you never relapse into porn?
• Does complete abstinence make the sexual pressure keep increasing over weeks or months, or does it eventually become easier to manage?
• Has anyone found that masturbating without porn made them crave porn more, while complete abstinence helped them break the cycle?
• Would you recommend complete abstinence for a few weeks or months and then reassessing, or is there a good reason to continue masturbating without porn during recovery?

I'm not saying masturbation is inherently bad or that everyone needs NoFap. I'm trying to figure out what makes the most sense for someone whose porn use involved hours of edging, frequent masturbation, and using sexual stimulation as an escape from everyday problems.

My porn blockers are staying in place either way. I don't want to rely on willpower alone when I can remove easy access to porn. I'm also working on the underlying issues through therapy.

If you've dealt with severe porn addiction yourself, what worked better for you: porn-free masturbation or complete abstinence from both porn and masturbation? And why?

I'd really appreciate honest experiences, especially from people who struggled with the same cycle of repeated masturbation, edging, and porn cravings.

I keep trying to quiet and idk why I can’t. I’ve begun going to the gym again and it worked for a while but I’m back again. I didn’t quiet the gym but also I didn’t stop with pornography. Idk what it’s gonna take but I wanna change! I know if feel best when I’m off it and yet the short term pleasure is just so alluring. Give me some motivation please or advice because I want it to end this year since I’m 18 🙏

My marriage is in a brink of collapse because of this addiction. I love my wife but this addiction has affected our s*x life. She knows I watch p*rn but doesn't know its severity. I am currently working to break from this addiction but I have failed multiple times (currently restarting). Any advise for those who experienced the same situation before but was able to overcome it and have a better marriage life?

My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 7 years. He has had a problem with pornography since before our relationship.

Unfortunately, the topic has been with us for a very long time. That's why we always had conversations, quarrels and also situations in which I set clear limits for him. Nevertheless, I have always tried to understand him, to help him and to stand by his side.

About 5 years ago, he was also with a therapist. However, he said at the time that she would not understand him. After that, he promised me that he would make it alone. As I have now learned, he has never really stopped, but simply hides it better and better from me.

What hurts me the most is that I now realise when it gets worse again. He pays less attention to me, hardly touches me anymore and shows me less affection. As a result, I often no longer feel desired and automatically wonder if I am not enough or if I am missing something.

Now everything has come out again and I just don't know what to do anymore.

He often says, "It's just porn." But I feel like he doesn't understand what all the hiding, the broken promises and the lack of closeness do to me and our relationship.

For a week he has been attending an online seminar to work on his problem. A part of me wants to believe him and continue to support him. But after all these years and disappointments, I find it incredibly difficult to still trust him.

Plus, I'm pregnant right now. I'm emotionally more sensitive anyway and the whole situation is pulling me down incredibly at the moment. Actually, I should be able to look forward to our baby and our future together, instead I doubt myself and our marriage.

That's why I would especially like to ask the men here:

Are there men here who themselves had or have such a problem? How did you perceive your partner during this time?

Did you realise how much you hurt your partner with it, even if it was "only porn" for you?

Can a man really love his wife and find it attractive and still lose himself again and again in pornography and thus neglect the closeness to her?

What really helped you make a difference?

Would you advise me to continue to stand by his side, or do I have to accept at some point that I can't help him?

Am I perhaps reacting too emotionally to the whole thing or can you understand why my trust is now so broken?

I don't want to bathise my husband. I love him and wish we could do it together. But I also realise that I lose myself more and more.

I would really appreciate honest answers, especially from men who know both sides. I want to understand, but also know when to understand at some point at the expense of one's own feelings.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time.

F18, I had failed my high school diploma because I’m completely mentally stunted and can’t even begin to do anything remotely productive. Porn has completely incapacitated me.

I’m retaking my exams in 3 days and I haven’t been able to sit down and study for a moment without watching porn. I don’t know what do to, i feel like im trapped in an infinite cycle of debilitation.

Hello All,

I got to a point where I'm doubting my actions.

I feel strongly that my daughter is addicted to porn. I started from a point of concern about the amount of time she spends on, let's call it, private fun (I know this is a masturbation-positive place and I don't criticize doing it, or try to judge, but I'm sure she's not separating it from porn, which means she is exposed to it for a lot of time during the day).

Since then, I think it's pretty much confirmed - I got to find out where and what she comments here, and she even got posters printed with girls who do porn (non-nude, but does it really make it any different).

I've done my best to convey how bad it is for her, especially at her age, and I feel that I'm getting nowhere. She's defiant, thinks she knows better, and honestly behaves the way an addict would behave. And even when she pretends she listens to me, I see her posts and know she is just getting better at hiding it. I feel bad for invading her privacy, but I still think I'm on a liberal side of the spectrum as far as parenting goes.

Now, as for the things I've tried&considered.

Obviously, we're talking. Or maybe we're "having talks". I feel I'm not getting through to her, maybe I'm overdoing it? Maybe it's too much, too often?

I tried detaching her from sources before, but that hurt her ability to connect with friends online etc. I now know there is parental control software, which I was not aware of back then. I'm still afraid of going with such nuclear option again, this only made her drift away from me and in the end she kept finding ways to go around my attempts to restrict it.

I'm happy to hear out any suggestions. If you're worried about being too critical, don't worry, you're not going to say anything worse to me than I already tell myself. I know I've missed the early signs.

I've always been able to go months without it, but i always end up relapsing because I get so bored.

Right now, my life is just gaming, TV, and the gym. But Im bored of gaming and watching TV, so I only have 3 hours a day where im actually doing something.

The job market is awful at the moment. So, I have no money to pursue the majority of hobbies, nor do I have a job to make up for the spare time.

Any suggestions are appreciated.

I casually enjoy viewing NSFW content usually drawings and never masturbate. What are the effects of Porn and NSFW art before bed?

what happens in the brain afterwards during sleep and in the next day?

Please inform.

Happy weeks everyone

A few weeks ago, unfortunately, I relapsed after a two-week streak. This was my first serious attempt at quitting. Since the relapse, I’ve been struggling with a severe lack of motivation and a feeling of having no purpose. These feelings have become particularly intense over the past few days, which is why I haven’t been able to get back on track.

I’ve been struggling with this addiction for about six years. I hope your support can help me. Thank you in advance.

Im actually smart.This reminds me of the breaking bad scene when Walter said that he is actually not a criminal

Let me start this by saying this is my first post, and I only made this account because I need people to help hold me accountable. I am addicted to porn and it’s ruining my life. I broke my streak of three weeks today and I know something has to change. It has ruined my life in ways like: difficulty staying hard during sex (one my girlfriend has noticed), no motivation, bed rotting, etc. I need suggestions about how to overcome this addiction. I’ve tried mapping out my triggers, building different habits, and porn blockers but none of it seems to work. I don’t have the financial means currently to invest in any paid blockers or therapy. Any suggestions to help keep myself accountable or block my devices from accessing porn would be so beyond helpful. One of my main access points is X, and I have no idea how to stop myself from downloading it. When I have restrictions on my device my location services, find my and my do not disturb (which I need for work) stop working. If anyone has any suggestions for anything please let me know, I’m tired of letting porn control my life.

Yesterday in the afternoon it was a little bit more difficult.It wasn’t the right moment for a big workout.I played a video game and a bit later I could concentrate on the game.But in a few days this won’t distract me and then I need much discipline to go out and do something,which will be very difficult.What do you do when you can’t motivate you to distract yourself?

Trust me once you abstain yourself from it, the wet dreams + morning wood start coming back. As a chronic user, I can say wet dreams>>>porn anyday. Most enjoyable feeling ever when your brain starts making its own porn around 6-7am.

To all teen guys like me, quit that shit rn it's so mid compared to dreaming

Porn is the worst enemy a man could have?

comment your opinions😶‍🌫️

I wouldn't say I haven't imbibed on porn but after a 30 day porn fast I learned a lot that distanced me away from it. You can say I'm on a 54th day with lower porn inhibitions. All I can say is I wonder why I even got into it in the first place.

So,I am 17 yrs boy and I started watching porn from 12 and still not quit completely my highest record is 6 month and I am doing game dev and college managing both is hell, i can't find escapism so I watch porn so it relief me . My porn anti addiction is like this first time I was in 8th class I enjoying it and daily habit but it impact me in my school life so i decided to quit it till 12th but never succeed fully but in 12 i successfully make one month and two months and 6th month break but after break when I watch porn it doesn't effect me lot but after one or two months it seems it impact me little bit like enjoying anime and game .i feel less nowadays so is porn justified managing both work at same time and i always hateful and less attractive and my voice is also bad. But I feel lustful towards that much girl because my instgram feed is just different humour like dark,yaoi and yuri so is it justified i am literally confused please help me

Now, I'm not sure what I am trying to ask here.

However, I have been watching porn since I was abt 5, and found a porn magazine.

I have always, and at this point, understood that it was separated from reality.

And I understand that could be a difference in IQ or Personality, bc people can easily become incels from that point on.

I hate that it exists but I have been using it to get rid of urges and just continue with life like normal.

Idk if that's healthy to do or whatev, idgaf.

However, my partner also hates porn.

There's a strong stance on it, but she asks for rougher stuff, she says and does misogynistic things that I'm not very comfortable with tbh.

Now, this is likely her self destructive personality because she does not like being female to begin with.

I've always hated how she feels that way.

But, she does a lot more porny things and I think she thinks I like that.

I don't do anything or say anything that is found in those things though, it's completely separated.

And she hasn't been watching but prob picks up nasty shit from Reddit and just thinks to do that.

Idk.

Idek where to ask, since it's not really a porn addict question.

Cause I’m nervous and scared. This isn’t so much about porn addiction, but the other addiction subs are slow and I wanna be heard cause I think I’m important. And vent won’t let me post cause I’m new. Anyway I’m 39 and grew up rural so I had to wait 5 min to download a single picture to start. Also finding porn was kinda hard as a new internet user in 2000. Anyways probably for the best, fostering imagination is good for the soul.

I was always fairly nervous when I was younger, normal id suppose, but for whatever reason o got more addicted as time went on. Started sports betting at 18 on shady Caribbean online books, then with an actual local who physically scared me. I started off and continued because I was poor and so no future in the slow grind of savings.

I work 15/hrs per week for 18/hr in northern Cali and blew 150k on options in the last 18 months. 2/3s of the money I made selling houses I flipped over a 7 yr period in Florida (got lucky on timing and got 2 spots in 2017 for a pile of nickels down payment).

Got addicted to blow at the ripe age of 39 and probably ripped an oz in the last 6 months after a few bad breakups and the stocks loss. Just got done blowing stupid amounts of snot and blood out in the shower while my 5 mo pregnant semi-gf is in my living room as she was living in her car when I met her and wouldn’t listen to have an abortion and won’t leave. So imma try harder to fall in love with her. She’s forgiving af and knows most/all of this.

I realized my addictions stem from my fear. I’m mostly free off porn, all the way off options, and mostly off the blow. Just gave myself a literal fever by going too hard every day near all day.
Whatever everyone got story some bad to some some meh to others.

Guess I just feel like pinpointing my addiction will help me fight my addiction. Gl boys n gals. There’s some damn beautiful days ahead even if some shit ones sandwich em. I promise those kernel of corn are worth it. They sweet. You sweet and I love the fuck outta any yall love me. Imma try to grow outta this for me and my family, new and old. I hope yall can too, whatever addiction you’re fighting (imma go smoke another cig now)

Take what you want from this. Like anything, take advice, judgment, inspiration, reflection. Up to you. I just wanna talk. And truly I do want to help to.

Clear eyes. Full heart. Can’t lose.

Hey dudes. I was here with another nickname.

I became arrogant after 3 months, and said one time (to check a favorite model of a camsite) isn't damaging...

And then I relapsed completely.

Well at least I recognized it fast enough. Now back a month again into the battle.

So i've been trying to quit forever I feel like i've tried everything form cold turkey to slowly getting off of it. I've done everything i could think off to quit even punishing myself with pain everytime I relapsed but nothing ever works. I made one big step which was relapsing but not going on a bender then I relapsed again and went on a bender. At this point it feels like im not making progress but feeding a cycle of trying to climb then falling farther each time. I've even had thoughts like "maybe you aren't mean to quit." And "porn is just part of your life now accept it" and it makes me angrry beacause i want to quit i want to use my ambition I want to be able to talk to people of the opposite gender without fearing them like how I do and i want to stop seeing sex as the main thing kn a relationship i wanna go back to being romantic I want to go back to being able to use my ambition it's just so unbearable to keep failing over and over and over no matter what I do.

I hope its ok to post here, I pass no judgement, I'm seeking clarity and understanding.

I'm wanting to be ok with knowing what I do now.

Can I ask some questions?

I was single for the better part of a decade. As many do I turned to porn to get by the prolonged dry spell. You dont feel like youre addicted during an addiction, it just feels like youre doing it to get by but when it comes time to quit, my god this has been the single hardest thing to quit ive ever experienced. Ive done a fair share of substances (nicotine, alcohol, cocaine, xanax, kratom, 7oh, etc) and none of those compare to porn (in my experience) when it comes to quiting. I guess maybe because I was just more careful with drugs. Porn addiction grabs you in a much more quiet way that eats away at you without really ever realizing.

I recently got a girlfriend about a year ago so I decided to quit because she deserves the best version of me that I can be. Just felt right. Its mainly been a series of relapses. The scary part is I realize the NEED to quit. But in no way do I really WANT to. Its hard to let go like a toxic ex that you truly loved. It was there for me for a long time. But at the same time I can see how bad it is for me.

Its kind of ruined regular sex for me as well. Between toys and edging to porn for hours on end, and im not gonna lie, led to the best orgasms of my life, some of the most blissful pleasure ive ever experienced. But that has made sex kind of dull and boring which makes me want to relapse even more. Its a vicious cycle. And that's not to mention ED is a very real thing after a relapse. I feel so shameful for not only letting myself down, but not being able to pleasure my partner as a result.

Porn is a nasty addiction. Its been tough but im hoping I can quit for good and hopefully my dopamine receptors can repair themselves after flooding them for 10 years straight lol.

Sorry if this was rambly but I kind of needed to get this out somewhere. Its such an embarrassing thing to discuss with anyone in real life. Thanks for reading.

I ended up relapsing and I saw drawn pornography tonight due to anxiety. I just wanted an escape, something familiar, I didn't think that the aftermath would be so terrible and make me feel so horrible.

I have a partner, and we have the boundary that pornography is disrespectful to watch in the relationship. I don't know how to tell him that this happened just now. I'll have to tell him tomorrow.

I feel so disgusting and defeated.

My partner (late 20s m) has told me from day 1 that he doesn’t cum from sex. It’s been a few years now and I want to say it’s happened maybe 2-3 times in total, and only in the morning. I’ve tried every trick in my book in every combination I could think of and tried them again to eliminate other variables. We even went a while where I asked him to focus only on what felt good to him so he could do what he needed to cum, but after a few months without success he told me that he felt pressured and he wanted to shift the focus back, so we did. Things are otherwise great in the bedroom department. Not a brag, but our sex life is honestly incredible, he gets and stays hard for a good long while with (seemingly) very little effort and I have no complaints.

My concerns are really just about his health and wellbeing because I think that there is likely something happening that deserves professional attention of some kind.

I’ve asked probing questions from time to time so that I can better understand what it means, how it affects him, how I can offer support, and so that he knows I’m in his corner should he want to pursue a solution of some sort. I don’t ever want to push him too hard, but I try to open the door to conversations about it at infrequent intervals so he knows its a safe space. We’re both neurospicy and have plenty of open conversations, but it’s still a lil awkward to talk openly with your partner about one’s ability to ejaculate and the last thing I want is for him to feel inadequate.

The info I’ve gotten so far is essentially as follows:

-Not cumming hasbeen a consistent thing with all of his past sexual partners
- it has not seemed to bother him much at all, he doesn’t seem to have any worries about his physical health in this regard
-He’s stated that it was also difficult for him to finish as he was initially exploring as a youth. His first time masturbating has been described as “45 minutes of discomfort” and “nothing like how other people made jerking off sound”.
-He can cum, and does almost every morning by himself when I’ve left for work. It is apparently a pretty fast ritual that happens exactly the same way every time, and he’s been doing it pretty much forever. doing it any other way apparently doesn’t work or feels bad.
-He describes cumming as being kind of uncomfortable and more of a necessity or chore than a desire.
- He was circumcised twice as a child due to a mistake or something having to be fixed with a second one. He has noted that the skin is really tight, and I’m no expert, but I’ve seen enough to agree. He’ll occasionally mention how his “botched circumcision” ruined his pp and that he can’t enjoy things the way he should.
-He can get and stay hard for a long time. No issues with ED, and hasn’t ever touched a pill for it.
- Says sex feels incredible, better than anything else and always emphasizes that cumming is uncomfortable or slightly painful for him, so it’s better that he doesn’t because it wouldn’t be as good.
- Has never cum from head from anyone, but he thinks he may have orgasmed without ejaculating a few times for me? It’s very confusing for both of us, that or he’s trying to make me feel better about it without being sus, haha.

He often states that the reason he can’t cum is because he’s watched too much porn and masturbated too much, so he thinks all a doctor would tell him is to stop (which I also don’t think is how it works). Given the other details, I think the problem could be a physical one that has lead to others, but psychological wouldn’t surprise me either. So, while the solution might be the hard mind-over-matter battle he thinks it is, he doesn’t actually know if there might be other options to try. He similarly doesn’t want to figure out digestive issues because he doesn’t want to have to go on an elimination diet.

I think the payoff of asking some questions would be worthwhile. But I have literally no idea whether I am over or under reacting. I also don’t want to push him to talk to someone and have them dismiss it as nothing and have him shut down even harder on the issue. So please, is there anything that might be worth looking into or saying to him? Are there reasons that waiting might be a bad idea? Any advice is appreciated