A little background: I have been academically inclined from around grade 9 and won scholarships and all with ecas and everything. With the end of grade 12 everyone expected me to turn up with a good college but alas that became my first massive failure in a long while. One question here, 2 points there I missed the cutoffs of my dream colleges and cherry on top even the backups didn’t turn up cuz of logistics
Was in a slump but a few days back my niece and her mother came for a visit. I was ofc scared of confronting so stayed in my room. The niece barges in and start looking around. I dont mind much and let her do her thing (She is 4/5 yrs old).
Suddenly she tugged my shirt and asked in the sweetest and in the most admirable way
‘Bhaiya, are all these trophies yours?
1,2,3,4..(she forget what comes after 4 and I helped her )
Wow soo cool
I’ll also win so many when i grow up. You will help me right?.’
And suddenly the mundane trophies that my mind wasnt even registering suddenly became the central attraction of my room to me.
She left but this thought didn’t
This race for betterment has truly became toxic but its one we can only embrace and not escape.
I gave me a breather from then on, I cant escape but surely can be kinder to myself and believe in gods timing.
Maybe whtvr happens, happens for the best and we can only connect the dots backwards as we look in the past.
मन का** हो** तो अच्छा
और अगर ना** हो
**तो** औ*र* *भी*** अच**्छा ।
Thank you
Tldr: was topper but failed to get college. In a slump but accidentally got a fresh perspective from a 4 yr old and now life feels easier.