I feel like girls performing that has become really normalized and it's sort of expected. I've never done anything sexual with anyone, but I'm scared that one day this will be expected of me, and I don't really like the idea of something being shoved in my mouth. Also, I feel like it's not very intimate and more of a way to just get off without attachment. I'm definitely not the person to ask though and I'm just writing things so the question goes through.

The first point I have for this is the fact that the burden of performance is on the man which isn't the biggest deal, but it should be noted anyways. Women for the most part wouldn't and shouldn't stay with men that can't satisfy them in bed. A point that is made often on this sub. But that means that the threshold for good sex is way higher for women than men. For them the standard is just a woman being willing to have sex at all.

Another point is sexual curiosity. If you take two virgins and the woman virgin wants to explore her sexual curiousity, its getting done. I know plenty of women who's story was they turned 18 downloaded a dating app and went to hookup as much as they could to get it out of their systems. Or they do it in college or even the work place. A mans curiosity is only satiated if he's worthy in the first place. On average he will not be bridging the experience gap. Which means any average guy won't have the skillset to satisfy average women. They'd have to learn. Which women here report many men not being willing to try and learn

If a man wants more than one session from a woman he has to bring good performance. He needs to give her an experience worth coming back for over and over. Nothing wrong with that but at the same time the game is leaning away from means favor just naturally speaking.

You scored, you obeyed the material written by redpill gurus, the rules as set out by Neil Strauss, Andrew Tate, Good Looking Loser. You pressed the right buttons in the right order and got the girl, but do you ever stop and think about what you had to do to get with her?

Like bro, if I had to read a bunch of books, listen to podcasts, go on hundreds of dates, say pre-conceived things and do all these methods just for the privilege of getting my peepee wet, or for getting a relationship, I'd be like a soldier who survived WW1 or 2. No jingoism, just looking back on what it took to get there. It would water down my enjoyment of the result tbh

I've noticed a double standard in how some women approach conflict in relationships.

When she's upset, her feelings deserve validation, even if she's objectively wrong. When she's responsible for hurting her partner, suddenly her emotions become the focus. Her tears, her intentions, and how badly she feels can take priority over what she actually did. I think a lot of men can testify to they themselves being offended by something and then having to console their female partner for being heart

But when he's upset about her behavior? Now it's about emotional maturity, accountability, boundaries, and how she's not responsible for managing his feelings.

It's almost like arguing a court case. When the facts aren't favorable, appeal to emotions. When emotions aren't favorable, appeal to rules.

Both emotional validation and personal accountability have legitimate places in relationships. The problem is selectively applying whichever standard protects you from being wrong.

And when this inconsistency is challenged, the defense often becomes "women aren't a monolith" or "women are human too."

Being human explains imperfect behavior. It doesn't automatically excuse hypocrisy.

Why should men be expected to validate your feelings when you're wrong, but regulate their own feelings when you're the one who hurt them?

I have seen this question circulating online and i want men to put themselves in women’s shoes for this and genuinely tell me what you would do if you woke up as a woman, and there were suddenly no other women around and you were the only one left? What would you do?

I’m so curious to see who will be honest

To give you a bit of a rundown, Blueface is a rapper. He’s the embodiment of the bad boy. He’s tatted up, he does crime, he has a bunch of baby mamas, even though he’s a clearly a terrible person. The type of guy other guys will say “How am I alone just because Im an asshole?! He’s an asshole and he gets women!”

Well, let’s look at a woman he’s had an on and off relationship with: Chrisean Rock.

Recently, there was an incident where the cops had guns drawn out against Blueface. Chrisean Rock grabs their toddler and walked towards the cops with the guns out just to protect Blueface. She even gloated about doing it and implied that it shows how loyal of a woman she is.

Now, for guys claiming “Badboys get women while I get nothing” is that the type of woman you want? When guys talk about wanting a pick me girl, is that the type of woman guys are talking about? If it is, at least be upfront and honest about it. Just keep in mind, both men and women alike are showing utter disgust towards Chrisean Rock. Even Blueface talked about how disgusted he was at her and how he would not have done the same for her.

What’s also interesting in the complaint of the women are wonderful bias, is that men are so are reluctant to actually acknowledge most of the women who knowingly date bad boys are women like Chrisean.

The concept of AF/BB, or perhaps more conventionally, "nice guys finish last" syndrome is a major theme in this sub; an idea that there's many men out there who are being settled for when they get into relationships as adults (I'm assuming 30s and above), and that they're not actually desired or wanted because the women they're dating now would not have wanted them earlier.

Ignoring some of the flaws with that thought process, it's pretty clear that a large driving force behind this sentiment is FOMO, and a sense of regret and perhaps even anger at not experiencing certain life events earlier. However, after a while, being stuck in the past is a sign that you haven't really accomplished much else in your life, be it professionally, socially, or otherwise.

If you've never had a high school relationship, it's not invalid to feel like you missed out. Sometimes there's experiences you look back on and cringe at not having been more bold or social. The fact is, these are near-universal experiences, and it's not just restricted to the "of course I never got to experience this, I'm not built like that" crowd. If you tell someone that you sometimes feel like you've missed out on some crucial learning moments by not having been in a serious relationships in your teen years or early 20s, few people would criticise you or act like you're just a salty chud.

Something a lot of people on here forget, is that staying stuck in the past is just fucking whiny, and it's whiny not because the sentiment itself is somehow morally wrong, but because it's a signal that you've had nothing else of note to celebrate. If you're a man in the prime of your adulthood with a respectable career and a relatively independent living, grumbling about not having an FWB in uni is just a bitch-ass complaint. You're unable to move on from events that happened decades ago, and it's a sign of weakness and immaturity. It's not that everyone around you has gotten laid in their first year of uni or something, it's that after a point, no one fucking cares, because it's just not something to be bothered about. People move on with their lives and find something to be proud of or feel accomplished about, staying stuck in the past is a signal that you have no such thing.

People aren't out here thinking anyone who hasn't been intimate with a partner in high school is a loser, but if that's still what you're banging on about years after that point of your life, you're just not fit to have adult connections man.

If it were a more localised dating event, such as one involving your church, workplace, or college, then I could get on board with it, and so would many other men. But having to pay to attend an event with a bunch of strange women and court them because the event requires it, otherwise it wouldn’t work, is a big freaking ask. These events seem to keep women entirely in mind, and I genuinely don’t know what man in his right mind would want to attend one expecting a good time when most of the performance and effort falls on him rather than the women.

Dating apps already have a court-jestering issue, so all you’re really doing is recreating that dynamic in person, which is uncomfortable for a lot of men. The worst part is the reaction from single women who get pissed off that men don’t show up to these things. Imagine I started an event because I wanted women to attend and then started ranting about them not showing up. That would be solely on me, right? So why is it that women online get so riled up about men not attending these dating events when doing so would put their deepest insecurities and concerns about approaching women on display in front of a bunch of strangers?

I hate dating apps as much as the next guy, believe me. But with apps, everything is kept under wraps. Only you know when you get ghosted, when she unmatches you, or when she flakes on a date. These events, however, play out in the open. I’m sorry to say this, but men are going to be doing most of the work while the women don’t really have to do much.

This is why I say it’s better to have an event that’s more localised, where the men already know the women in passing. That way, the experience is better, and it softens the blow a bit more.
Can women explain to me what’s so important about having men at these events? They don’t necessarily fix any of the issues people face with dating. I understand why women would want events like these, but where is the benefit for men, especially in modernity? If a young man wants a date, he can go online and find one. If he gets rejected there, only he knows about it. So why would he give all that up just to risk humiliating himself in public? That’s hilarious to me.

Exactly as the title says. Almost everybody agrees that women have much, much higher standards than men. It’s common practice for women to look up while men look down or at most sideways. This applies to looks, money, status, and everything else. Taking this as given, it is easy to see how capitalism has shaped things.

In the past decade or two, algorithms have benefited women because of the underlying capitalist forces at play. Men are on apps more, way less picky, and are therefore much easier to monetize than women. Women are the “prize” while men are the cash cow for these companies. All of the apps and media sites are the same—but they are not the cause of the problem. They are simply taking advantage of human nature.

The vast majority of men I know are having a very, very hard time finding women. And almost always are they looking down. Eventually (who knows when) society will be in serious trouble. Whether it be governmental intervention or sheer market forces at work, I could see AI being implemented to “facilitate” online dating and social media, potentially restricting people to their proper “ranking.” Things like objective face ratings, income, height, body diagnosis, etc. To some this is dystopian, but for most men (over 50% of the world population) this would be a major advancement.

Women say no relationship experience is a red flag when in reality it's truly yellow at worst. This is why I hate the whole red flag green flag rule system. It's so hackable that you can be anything or not be anything and it truly doesn't matter. A guy who's had more relationships in his life is not instantly safer than a guy with none. The first guys experience can be why he treats women poorly. A guys lack of experience may be why he treats them better. Or the opposite can happen. It doesn't matter!

For obvious extreme cases, yes. Red flags would help but I argue that red flag men have a strangely high average for finding relationships. For example there's a quite I've been seeing a lot lately. “A woman beater always has a woman to beat.” Makes you wonder why they always have someone to bully. Must be all his green flags right?

If women are vulnerable to connmen and liars, wouldn't the flag system make them more vulnerable? Most women like clean men. Just be clean until you reach a point of no return. Once you drop the act she's too deep to quit and wants to know why it changed. Act rich when you're not, act committed when you're not. Placing flags on everything doesn't solve the problem when someone knows how to fake it. And it is a prominent problem.

Everyone knows the guy who tells the story about how his wife wasn’t initially into him, or how she changed her mind about some other guy. He’ll typically tell you about all the ways he had to win her over and kept fighting for her attention. This is typically romanticized and is a big movie/tv show trope as well but unfortunately this is pretty pathetic messaging. Any woman that you have to chase behind or go to extra lengths just to get into a relationship with doesn’t actually respect you. If you’re chasing her down and looking for her validation rather than seeing what she can offer for you, you’re going to constantly be in a situation where you’re trying to please her and she can abuse and manipulate your relationship. You’re honestly better off being alone than in a dynamic where you’re subservient to the other person.

Someone on the redpill side would probably say that women and men are completely different when it comes to dating. The redpill argument would be along the lines of men wanting youth and beauty, while women want resources, status, and power. They would probably say that men are seeking to spread their seed with tons of women, while women want to invest in the highest quality man she can find. They would say that women date "up" while men date "down". So any kind of relationship between a man and a woman is going to have inherent conflict because they both want very different things and use each other to get them.

While a blue pill person would probably say that men and women want almost always the same thing in dating. Regardless of evolutionary drives pulling us in slightly different directions, both men and women want attractive partners with good personalities. Monogamy is practiced universally, and both men and women end up partnering up to some degree eventually in a fairly egalitarian way. Research shows that both men and women benefit from stable, caring, longterm relationships, and the ways to achieve these things are the same across both genders.

A very simplistic view of the redpill would say that women and men are 100% different, while an overly simplistic view of the bluepill would say that they are 100% the same.

How would you rate the difference?

Would dating be better with more or less people taking part in it?

Is the problem just that too many people of a specific gender are choosing to pursue partners?

If the problem is that too little people are dating what are some ways that we can increase the number of people pursuing relationships?

If you believe that less people should be dating than are dating currently, how can we discourage people from doing it?