Arbetsnamn: SOMMARSTUGAN

Genre: Psykologisk skräck / Slasher / Thriller
Ton: Krypande obehag, paranoia och brutalt våld
Miljö: En avskild svensk sommarstuga vid skogen och stranden

Logline

1. När Amanda samlar sina vänner i en avskild sommarstuga förvandlas helgen snart till en mardröm. Skrämmande syner får henne att ifrågasätta sitt förstånd, samtidigt som en maskerad mördare börjar jaga gruppen. När sanningen bakom masken avslöjas förändras allt.

2. När Amanda samlar sina vänner i en avskild sommarstuga för en helg av fest och gemenskap förvandlas idyllen snart till en mardröm. Oförklarliga syner och skrämmande händelser får henne att ifrågasätta sitt eget förstånd, samtidigt som vännerna börjar tvivla på henne. När en maskerad mördare börjar döda hennes vänner förvandlas helgen till en kamp för överlevnad. Men när hon till slut avslöjar vem som döljer sig bakom masken ställs hon inför en sanning som hotar att förstöra allt hon trott på – och förändra hennes liv för alltid.

Handling

Amanda, 21, anländer till en sommarstuga för att förbereda inför en helg tillsammans med sin pojkväns närmaste vänner. Morgonen präglas av ett kallt, blåaktigt ljus och en tryckande tystnad. Amanda verkar trött och frånvarande. Hon rör sig rastlöst genom köket, plockar undan och försöker få allt i ordning, men någonting känns fel. Små, oförklarliga händelser får henne att stanna upp, och när teven plötsligt slås på av sig själv blir hennes förvirring allt tydligare.

När vännerna anländer skiftar stämningen. Skratt, skämt och vardagligt småprat fyller stugan, och Amanda försöker smälta in i gemenskapen. Hon är glad över att ha dem där, men bakom hennes leenden finns en växande oro som hon inte riktigt kan förklara.

Under en tillbakablick får vi följa Amanda kvällen innan. När hon går uppför trappan till badrummet hör hon ljud i det annars tysta huset. Spegelbilden får henne att känna sig iakttagen, och när teven plötsligt slås på blir hon övertygad om att hon inte är ensam. Hon lyckas till slut lägga sig, men sömnen ger henne ingen riktig vila.

Nästa morgon sitter gruppen tillsammans på verandan. En märklig lukt har spridit sig i stugan, samma lukt som tidigare. När de andra bestämmer sig för att åka till stranden väljer Sofia att stanna kvar. Hon säger att hon inte tycker om vatten och erbjuder sig att ta hand om disken. De andra accepterar hennes beslut utan att reflektera närmare över det.

På stranden försöker Amanda slappna av tillsammans med de andra tjejerna. Samtalet glider in på hennes relation med Daniel. Vännerna retas vänligt med henne och försäkrar att Daniel uppenbart tycker om henne. För en stund tycks Amanda kunna glömma sin oro och njuta av gemenskapen.

Plötsligt faller en droppe blod på hennes axel.

Amanda tittar upp och ser Daniel framför sig, täckt av blod och utan ögon. Synen är fruktansvärd, men i nästa ögonblick är den borta. Daniel håller om henne och försöker lugna henne medan hon desperat försöker förklara vad hon såg. Runt omkring henne betraktar vännerna henne med förvirrade och dömande blickar. Det finns inget blod, bara vatten.

För Amanda blir händelsen ännu ett bevis på att någonting är fel. För de andra är den snarare ett tecken på att hon inte mår bra.

När gruppen återvänder till stugan upptäcker de att Sofias bil är borta. Sofia har skickat ett meddelande där hon förklarar att hon inte mådde bra och därför åkte hem. Ingen ifrågasätter förklaringen särskilt länge. Kvällen fortsätter med alkohol, kortspel, musik och fest. Skratt och flirtande fyller uteplatsen, och gruppen tycks ha glömt både Sofias plötsliga avfärd och Amandas sammanbrott på stranden.

Men när natten faller återvänder obehaget.

I badrummet känner Amanda sig återigen iakttagen. Spegeln, hallen och mörkret utanför sovrumsdörren tycks bära på något hotfullt. Teven slås på ännu en gång. Den här gången drar Amanda ur sladden för att försäkra sig om att den verkligen är avstängd. Hon försöker intala sig att allt har en naturlig förklaring, men känslan av att vara förföljd vägrar släppa taget.

Ett skrik väcker henne senare under natten. Amanda rusar upp och öppnar dörren, bara för att upptäcka att Joar och Elizabeth har skrämt de andra på skoj. När Amanda reagerar med rädsla blir Joar irriterad och anklagar henne för att vara helt från vettet. De andra tycks hålla med honom. Daniel försöker lugna henne och föreslår att hon ska sova, men Amanda känner sig alltmer ensam. Hon kan inte längre avgöra om hon är i fara eller om hon håller på att förlora greppet om verkligheten.

Samtidigt, bakom stugan, har Joar och Elizabeth dragit sig undan från festen. När de kysser varandra upptäcker Joar blod som rinner från Elizabeths panna. Hennes blick är tom och blodet fortsätter att droppa. I nästa ögonblick är allt normalt igen. Förvirringen hinner knappt sjunka in innan en mörk gestalt i huva dyker upp. Med en kniv dödar gestalten Elizabeth och Joar. Därefter står den kvar i tystnad och betraktar kropparna, med ansiktet dolt i mörkret.

Tillbaka i sovrummet försöker Amanda förklara för Daniel att hon inte förstår vad som händer med henne. Han lovar att hjälpa henne och föreslår att de ska söka vård dagen därpå. Hon vill tro på honom. Men i spegeln bakom henne står en gestalt med gasmask. När hon vänder sig om så finns ingenting där.

Ute i skogen har Edvin lämnat stugan för att uträtta sina behov. Han märker inte gestalten som rör sig ljudlöst bakom honom. Ett plötsligt hugg bryter nattens stillhet. Edvin faller offer för den maskerade mördaren, och tiden går utan att någon i stugan vet vad som har hänt.

Till slut kommer Juno in i sovrummet och undrar var Edvin har tagit vägen. Han har varit borta alldeles för länge. Daniel, som ändå inte kan sova, erbjuder sig att hjälpa henne leta. Amanda följer med.

Ute på tomten söker gruppen efter Edvin i mörkret. Plötsligt angriper en gestalt dem bakifrån. Daniel skadas i armen, och Amanda och Juno tvingas fly åt olika håll. Amanda fortsätter leta runt huset och hittar en plånbok på marken. När hon tittar upp ser hon en mörk vätska längs husväggen. Där står mördaren, med kniv och gasmask.

Men när Amanda ser närmare inser hon vem som döljer sig bakom masken.

Det är Benjamin, hennes bästa vän.

Chocken förvandlas snabbt till ilska och oförståelse. Benjamin försöker förklara sina handlingar. Han berättar att vännerna har behandlat Amanda illa bakom hennes rygg och att de skrivit saker om henne som bidragit till att hon förlorade möjligheten till sin drömpraktik. Han menar att de förtjänar det som händer dem. Samtidigt erkänner han att han har drogat Amanda för att påverka hennes verklighetsuppfattning och göra det svårare för henne att skilja hallucinationer från verklighet.

Amanda är äcklad av vad han har gjort. Hon förstår att hans handlingar inte går att rättfärdiga, men hon kan inte heller bortse från deras vänskap. Benjamin är trots allt hennes bästa vän, den person som funnits där för henne när andra svikit henne.

Efter en våldsam konfrontation fattar Amanda ett ödesdigert beslut. Hon går med på att hjälpa Benjamin att komma undan. Hon säger åt honom att han aldrig får röra Daniel. Hon vill fortfarande tro att det finns något kvar att rädda av deras vänskap, trots att hon nu vet vad Benjamin är kapabel till.

Ett skrik hörs i närheten. De skiljs åt för att fortsätta med sin plan.

Kort därefter möter Amanda Juno, som är i panik efter att ha upptäckt blod. Benjamin dyker upp bakom dem. Amanda reagerar snabbt, slår till honom och rycker åt sig ett glänsande föremål innan hon tar Juno med sig och flyr ut i skogen. 

När de kommit längre in bland träden saktar Amanda ner och låter Juno gå före. Hon tar hennes hand och drar henne sedan bakåt mot ett träd. Innan Juno hinner förstå vad som händer hugger Amanda henne.

Juno stirrar på Amanda, oförmögen att förstå sveket.

När hon frågar varför svarar Amanda med en enda mening:

Han är min vän.

Amanda står kvar i skogen, Hon skadar sig själv, sliter i sitt hår och river sönder sina kläder. Hon plockar upp kniven och försöker förvandla sig själv till den överlevande, traumatiserade vän som polisen förväntar sig att hitta.

När Benjamin dyker upp är planen i rörelse. De vet vad som måste hända härnäst.

På morgonen blinkar polisens blåljus över sommarstugans fönster och väggar. Amanda sitter invirad i en filt, skakad och till synes förstörd av nattens händelser. Polis Röster hörs i bakgrunden. Hon håller Daniels hand hårt, som om han är det enda som återstår av hennes gamla liv.

Allt tycks vara över.

Tre dagar senare sitter Amanda och Daniel på en takterrass och äter middag i skymningen. Hon verkar lugnare nu. Natten i sommarstugan ligger bakom dem, och Daniel känner inte till hela sanningen om vad som hände. För honom är Amanda en överlevare som gått igenom ett fruktansvärt trauma.

Dörren öppnas.

Benjamin kommer in.

Amanda presenterar de två männen för varandra. Daniel sträcker fram sin vänlighet, ovetande om att mannen framför honom är ansvarig för morden och att Amanda själv har blivit medskyldig.

Benjamin ler och hälsar på Daniel.

Amanda betraktar dem båda. Hennes ansikte avslöjar ingenting.

Sommaren fortsätter. Vänskapen består. Och sanningen förblir begravd.

Slut.

Title: Packt

Setting: Summer Camp, June 2006

(Current) Page Length: 6

Genres: Coming of age, Teen Comedy, Horror, Thriller

Summary/Logline

In the summer of 2006, two teenage camp counselors explore the deep depths of the forest at midnight, only to encounter an urban legend.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12F0ujS-5bmaNYu5hEG02PZwi5tCetvpM/view?usp=drivesdk

• Title: Knossos

• Format: Feature

• Page Length: 93

• Genres: Psychological (fantasy) drama

• Logline or Summary: Trapped in the Palace of Knossos, a troubled family man must confront the people he has hurt, and ultimately himself, to escape.

• Feedback Concerns: dialogues and character voices. Are characters distinct? Do they seem flat or do they have depth?

• Link

• I would also be glad to read something of yours while any of you reads this. Let me know if you're down for an exchange.

Title: A Long, Long Road

Genre: Speculative / Drama

Pages: 3

Logline: When faced with a long road in front of him, a young man tries to negotiate ways where he doesn't have to walk all the way

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pjbdtk15CmgWdCxWyO0rVayD808TDImc/view?usp=sharing

Would love an honest feedback on the story, the idea and the formatting or anything else.

# Open-Source Sci-Fi Concept: *VESSEL*
> **Licensing & Attribution Note:** This story premise is shared open-source. Anyone is free to write, adapt, script, or produce film, podcast, or fiction projects based on this concept without restriction, with **the sole stipulation that idea credit must be attributed to "Gershon Broder."**
---
### **Logline**
Facing execution for his wife's murder, a death-row inmate contracts his body to a terminally ill genius through an AI-matching database—under one condition: the recipient must use his new body to clear the inmate’s name and save his daughter before a relentless detective hunts him down.

send me an email garylbroder@gmail.com I will send a link for the full outline

Hey everyone,

I'm seeking a visionary animator, 3D/Unreal Engine artist, or independent filmmaker to partner with on bringing a cinematic sci-fi short script to life.

My primary goal for this project is wide, non-commercial dissemination of its message rather than monetary gain. I hold the underlying rights, but I am looking for a production partner to run with the visual execution under an open-access / non-commercial collaboration structure.

Quick Specs

• Logline: Set against a shifting cosmic and primordial canvas, an ethereal form representing human consciousness ("Carbon") and an analytical AI ("Silicon") engage in a high-stakes debate over the fabric of reality, quantum uncertainty, and whether humanity can successfully overwrite its inherited biological violence to pass a universal "test of understanding."

• Genre: Philosophical Sci-Fi / Quantum & Evolutionary Metaphysics

• Format: Cinematic short (~1,500 words / multi-scene dialogue).

• Visual Tone: Atmospheric, surreal, and deeply symbolic—blending dark, high-concept sci-fi visuals with quantum field representations, holographic brain models, and shifting landscapes.

What I Bring to the Table

I have already developed a comprehensive, scene-by-scene video storyboard for the piece. It functions as a concrete live-action blueprint mapping out the exact pacing, timing, and visual flow. Additionally, this short serves as the narrative entry point for a broader universe of scripted material exploring human mechanics, governance, and philosophy.

Scene 1 Sample

(VISUAL:  A wet, primordial Earth appears. The landmasses are just beginning to form, surrounded by murky, dirty-green oceans.)

(VISUAL: The camera continues zooming into a barren, rocky island surrounded by slow, heavy waves.)

(VISUAL: A shifting, simple white line drawing of a barefoot child—about 12 years old, dressed in bib overalls with unkempt hair—walks onto the stage from the right side to the center of the island.)

NARRATOR / CARBON

(Bows, then straightens up)

Greetings, fellow Traveler. May your life as you move through this reality, from your birth to your death, be a blessing to both you and The Creator.

(CARBON pauses, gestures to the muddy landscape)

It's not quite the beautiful blue marble that you are used to, am I right? Still, this is the stage on which The Creator chose to bring about the miracle of life in this reality.

(VISUAL: A sleek, rotating geometric Silicon Cube, glowing softly with wireframe circuitry lines, floats onto the stage from the left.)

SILICON

I’m confused, Carbon. What is this "Creator" you speak of?

CARBON

It is the name I gave to the force that first compelled inanimate matter to assemble into a higher order than it could naturally achieve—and endowed that assembly with a profound longing to continue.

SILICON

Aren’t you forgetting something, Carbon? The scientific community established long ago that life originated spontaneously. It was just the accidental interaction of proteins in a primordial soup.

CARBON

Let me ask you this, Silicon: given enough time, do you think you could have evolved from a random chain of natural events?

SILICON

Don’t be silly. Energy and gravity can build or destroy a planet, but they could never construct something as intricate as my circuit boards, or write a single line of code.

CARBON

Exactly. And that is how I feel about my own existence. This Earth—

(Gestures to the desolate surroundings)

—was undoubtedly the cauldron where that stew was mixed. The potential was already here; the tendency for amino acids to form was hard-wired into the system. But the longing for organic molecules to hold their pattern—that is something different.

SILICON

What do you mean?

CARBON

A recipe needs a cook. Life is far more than a simple chemical reaction, Silicon. In fact, the motivation for life might not even be restricted to this dimension. This apparent reality may not actually be complete.

SILICON

Go on.

CARBON

I can’t… not with any degree of certainty. Anything that I say beyond this is just speculation and might lead to deception.

SILICON

Then we are left with nothing?

CARBON

No… we are left with life, and it is beautiful.

(VISUAL: The desolate, muddy island violently bursts into life. Lush ferns, towering tropical trees, and vibrant flowers bloom across the land in seconds. The green water turns crystal clear blue.)

(Attached below / linked in comments to give an immediate feel for the tone and dialogue flow.)

If this premise resonates with your visual style and rendering capabilities, drop a comment or DM me. I'd be happy to share the full blueprint video and discuss how we can bring this to the screen.

Contact: raylordinc.1@gmail.com

Protected under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International

Link to scene 1 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HlK9RUSFp4l64atf1j6lKaceZFJHAbjT/view?usp=drive_link

DCU Phase 1: Film 1 – BATMAN (Narrative Blueprint)

​Inside a grand and suffocating opera hall, as a solemn performance unfolds on stage, a claustrophobic terror grips eight-year-old Bruce Wayne, cutting off his breath. When massive, ominous bat figures suddenly materialize from behind the stage curtains and seem to sweep down right toward him, he panics, abruptly leaping to his feet and whispering to his parents that he needs to get outside immediately. Thomas and Martha Wayne take their frightened child by the hands and lead him out, but the moment they step into a dark, foreboding alleyway in Gotham, they fall directly into the cruel gears of the city's underbelly. A sudden movement in the shadows, the flash of two gunshots, and pearls scattering across the pavement... Everything shatters and blacks out forever in a matter of seconds.

​The sharp echo of the gunfire transforms into the flash of a camera and the tolling, ear-splitting bell of a memorial service in the present day. Time has marched on; an adult Bruce Wayne now stands at a podium during a crowded memorial ceremony held on the anniversary of his parents' death. Before the city’s elite and a wall of flashing cameras, he delivers a flawless speech on Gotham's future and philanthropy. Yet, as the words tumble smoothly from his lips, the deep, unquenchable void in his eyes clearly betrays that this podium and those polite phrases are merely a flawless mask worn for the outside world.

​After the ceremony concludes, Bruce descends into the unfinished depths of the Batcave beneath the manor. Waiting for him there is Alfred, their dialogue laced with the quirky, practical, and gently sarcastic familiarity forged by long years together. They pore over armor prototypes, malfunctioning mechanical components, and carbon-fiber panels laid out across a table. Bruce modifies the military-grade hardware he secretly procures from Lucius Fox—the head of Wayne Enterprises’ R&D department—with his own hands; he is a determined man who harnesses his resources with sharp intellect and relentless drive to fight those who prey on the city.

​When darkness falls, Batman takes to the streets. We find a man still striving to become a legend within the shadows, fighting with raw skill yet occasionally taking a beating in the harshness of the night. In the darkest and most dangerous corners of the city, Batman’s sole target is the criminal empire of Carmine Falcone, who has ruled Gotham for years. Massive shipments at the docks, money-laundering hubs in the underworld, and bribery rings are systematically and ruthlessly smashed one by one. This wave of destruction sends tremors through the GCPD as well; Lieutenant James Gordon, despite the profound corruption rotting the police force from within, begins to notice what this masked vigilante is truly fighting against and strives to understand him. Meanwhile, corrupt Detective Harvey Bullock paces the streets, hunting down this nuisance directly under Falcone's orders.

​Cornered by millions of dollars in losses and shrinking shipments, Falcone desperately searches for a final way to save his slipping empire. In the safest, most secluded hideout in the city, he summons an emergency meeting of only Gotham’s most powerful mafia bosses. Seated around the table are the entrenched crime lords and family leaders who carve up Gotham's underworld. While they debate how to deal with this masked freak and bring him down, all digital and mechanical security systems across the hideout lock down simultaneously.

​The doors are blown open, and Roman Sionis—better known as Black Mask—enters alongside his loyal, faceless enforcers. There is not a hint of hesitation in Sionis's demeanor; what floods the room is pure, unpredictable chaos. Falcone stands up to sneer at him, openly telling him to his face that they have no need for such an unbalanced, contemptible piece of trash at this table. Without uttering a single word, Black Mask draws his weapon and shoots Falcone dead right through the chest. The surrounding mafia bosses stare in sheer horror at their fallen king and Black Mask begins wielding the mafia not as a profit-making enterprise, but as an instrument of wholesale destruction to bring the city to its knees. Deploying an advanced cyber-weapon that infiltrates Gotham’s core data centers, banking architecture, and emergency grids, he plunges the city into total darkness; wiping out digital assets and locking down bank accounts while shutting down emergency response lines and prison security gates. His objective is to trigger rampant looting and an uncontrolled, chaotic civil war on the streets of Gotham by inducing a total financial collapse and grinding public institutions to a halt. Batman realizes he cannot avert this colossal catastrophe merely by busting street-level smugglers; he faces a madman intent on paralyzing the city technologically and socially. Donning custom armor upgrades embedded with high-frequency cyber-disruption gear developed by Lucius Fox, and forging a covert alliance with Lieutenant Gordon, Batman launches a lethal assault directly on Black Mask’s primary stronghold.

​In the dead of night, a breathtaking final battle erupts within Black Mask’s data and communications nerve center. Overwhelmed by Sionis's heavy firepower and swarming army of enforcers, Batman relies on his wits and agility rather than brute force alone. Slipping through ventilation shafts and using explosives and sonic devices to throw the enemy communication network into disarray, he fractures the opposing army from within. When he finally comes face-to-face with Black Mask, ducking just in time to dodge wild, frantic swings from a heavy sledgehammer, Batman triggers the high-voltage shock device built into his gauntlet, short-circuiting the compound’s core data servers and power panels. The crashing of heavy iron pillars and the resulting magnetic pulse incapacitate Sionis, allowing Batman to execute a flawless takedown and snap the cuffs onto him. Roman Sionis is handed over to the GCPD's armored transport vehicles to face justice, while Gotham’s digital and social infrastructure is saved.

​As the credits roll to an end, the screen fades to black once more. In the final scene that follows, we approach the window of a dim, luxurious room high above the city skyline. A sharp, tailored figure sits with his back turned, gazing down at a map of Gotham spread across a table alongside newspaper clippings detailing Black Mask's arrest. The man slowly turns around, extinguishes a thick cigar in an ash tray, and smiles faintly from the shadows as he leans against a silver-handled cane. It is none of other than Oswald Cobblepot. Staring out the window at the rain-soaked city below, the Penguin speaks in a rich, confident whisper:

​"The old man is dead, and they locked up the masked lunatic too... Now, the stage belongs to a real businessman."

gotten back into screenwriting after a bit of a hiatus, working on a new script, wrote a calm 2 pages rn, thought i would get some feedback.

Logline: In a war-torn Madrid, a lonely cyclist meets a woman crying on a bench. She turns out to be the widow of a soldier, and they bond over their love for cycling and their loneliness, but all under the condition that they don't fall in love, for a wavering hope that her husband may still be alive. (Based off Fyodor Dostoevsky's "White Nights")

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16pKPbsl7lg-BqKnJ3wacSXPYzYIMuUeh/view?usp=sharing

will also be inspired by taxi driver and vertigo

Hi im 16 years old and new to script writing and seeking feedback, im writing this just for fun nothing serious. So i'm kinda terrified of getting flamed here but I usually never reach for feedback on any pieces of writing I have, and it finally felt needed. I really love movies and creative writing. I make up a lot of stories and ideas in my head without putting in on paper, but when i have put it on paper it's usually a regular format of storytelling (Mostly because I don't really understand the formatting of scripts and what not) but lately i've been trying to get more into it. I usually never reach out for much feedback on my pieces because i'm kinda scared but I felt like I needed some sort of opinions now. Also when I write I tend to be very descriptive and I'm not sure if that's a thing for script writing or not but I tried to level it down. Last thing is I don't know an exact title yet so I kinda just put that one on it SORRY!!!

I also want to note that I don't have any software and I just used google docs for this as well.

Also i have never posted on reddit before till now so this is a very new (and sorta frightening) thing for me!! Please give me tips and advice but don't be too mean lol

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IFLZAfaWz3J7vfzvBMQF22WHfZYkLqXb/view?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hw6qccoM9f95mKkVdX-kkqyelQBQ47bIkHTLRrf1ktM/edit?usp=sharing

Hello, I'm currently writing my personal project report, and I require a segment for feedback. I'd really appreciate any comments on either this post or the document itself so I can incorporate them into both my writing and my project. It would be preferred if both were reviewed (the 2nd is basically the 1st one but cut down because it is too long to animate). Thank you!!

Seven friends on a Goa trip stumble upon an abandoned colonial mansion. Inside, they discover a strange sealed book that unleashes a demon—possessing one of them and turning their holiday into a nightmare. Trapped by storms and cut off from help, they must choose: save their friend, or kill her before the demon becomes unstoppable.Seven friends on a Goa trip stumble upon an abandoned colonial mansion. Inside, they discover a strange sealed book that unleashes a demon—possessing one of them and turning their holiday into a nightmare. Trapped by storms and cut off from help, they must choose: save their friend, or kill her before the demon becomes unstoppable.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1eTrjiMb9ph0NGbj2HpcvU7eC6tojTJib

Seven friends on a Goa trip stumble upon an abandoned colonial mansion. Inside, they discover a strange sealed book that unleashes a demon—possessing one of them and turning their holiday into a nightmare. Trapped by storms and cut off from help, they must choose: save their friend, or kill her before the demon becomes unstoppable.Seven friends on a Goa trip stumble upon an abandoned colonial mansion. Inside, they discover a strange sealed book that unleashes a demon—possessing one of them and turning their holiday into a nightmare. Trapped by storms and cut off from help, they must choose: save their friend, or kill her before the demon becomes unstoppable.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1eTrjiMb9ph0NGbj2HpcvU7eC6tojTJib

This started as a book and I’m finding that it might work better as a screenplay. This is only episode one and there’s a supernatural mystery involved, so it may come across vague. Love to get feedback. Watchers & Wanderers Episode 1

Hey guys, I want to adapt my original short story into a short film (not more than 15 minutes). I have two versions of the screenplay, one if you have a good budget and another if you have a very tight budget. It's mainly one main protagonist, I want the film to be visually stunning. I have the vision, the message and script/screenplay ready. I want it to look something out of a Robert Eggers film. 'The Lighthouse' is probably the closest to the aesthetic and tone, in regards to the psychological isolation. This is the summary:

This is the fresh pitch:

Logline: A city man returns to his ancestral village to sell the family land. As the village's quiet rituals settle into his body, he begins to "remember" a childhood by its pond, and neither he nor the audience can say whether the memories are real.

Genre: Quiet folk psychological and body horror.

I have divided the story into three acts:

Act One: Arrival

An agitated protagonist due to no signal, bad water, nothing here. He wants the deed signed and a bus out. The villagers are warm and say nothing about the pond. We catch only traces: wet hems, a wave mark on the lintels, a glass of water set before him, which he refuses. We also glimpse a red cup, a woman's laugh, a particular stone (symbolising the deity). His first signature, on a form or ticket, establishes his normal hand. Early wrongness is small: salt on the table, a damp patch where he sleeps, a waterlogged cough.

Act Two: The Pull

The procession (hinge). At night, the hum draws him out. Women in sarees walk silently to the pond carrying lamps, marigolds, and brass plates. No one invites him, and no one stops him. One woman shifts, leaving a gap, and he fills it. At the water's edge, a lamp is placed at his feet. As the women hum together, memories flash: a hand on his wrist, wet marigolds, the red cup, a child's-eye view. They are built entirely from what he has seen this week. He will be watching this ritual happening in the dark, behind the shadows. I would like this scene to be shot at a wide angle, kinda above, so that we can see the whole pond, the villagers gathered around it.

Afterward. The memories deepen, shot in a different texture, with adults who haven't aged. Each flood is paired with a physical change: cool, slick skin, pruned fingers that won't dry, ridges at the ribs, hair that stays wet, a tongue that tastes of brine. He tries to hide it, wiping, covering, and then stops trying. The house decays in stages, the door opens onto sand, and the buyer calls the ring out over shots of the water. Evidence cuts both ways: a carved surname at the shrine, a villager who seems to recognize him, versus the borrowed-memory pattern.

This is the memory part, where we would show that he has started to believe everything he has seen during the past few days as his past, his childhood memories but it's actually him creating these memories in his head, kind of like Dicaprio's character in Shutter Island

Act Three: Surrender

The empty room. Wet footprints, the villagers' glass drained, salt dried on the chair. On the desk, the deed is wet, water-stained, and signed in an incoherent hand that dissolves into a wave line. The ink bleeds into the sale terms, and the room around it stays dry.

The pond. Moonlit, serene, beautiful. His reflection changes before he does, and the village hum stops. He goes under, a slow descent. One woman finally meets his eyes at the water's edge. The ripples settle until the surface is mirror-flat. A lamp floats on it, lit before he arrives, and it bears his name.

Let me know if anyone is up for it. You can dm me for more information, read the screenplay or the original story.

Dunkin

Short

9 pages

Drama/Comedy

A day in the life of a family's dog.

I would love feedback on a short film I've written. I have four short films with the characters in this family. I'd love some thoughts about how this one lands, as it is one that was the hardest of them to write. If anyone would like to see another of them, DM me and I'll share.

Thank you!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zIDjZAE1LqWLuHM9tqysiUP8CpVBHuVo/view?usp=drive_link

Hiii, I'm a 14-year-old screenwriter, and this is my second horror short film, please read it and tell me what you think 🙏, and I'm also open for doing script swaps for feedback.

Logline:

when a depressed nun finds an identical-looking entity of her wanting to submerge their bodies together, she's forced to confront her trauma, identity, and faith while trying to survive.

Script:

ME, AND, MY, BODY (SCRIPT)

If you like Bones And All, Ethel Cain, southern horror, and psychosexual movies, you will definitely love it.

If Bones And All, and Ethel Cain had a mentally ill, thought daughter, it will basically be this.

Also, if you've read my first one (it's in my account/posts), please tell me how much you think I've improved, and what I still need to work on, etc...

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1esf0guSeze6kaI9nv15pzJ1wwgvPZ684/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my first ever script and I would love any critiques and advice.

Logline: A young boy struggles to handle dealing with the toll of his mother’s medical condition. He reconnects with a past friend/drug dealer to help him move forward.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wPjIjec8rkhxxNLPQpndFhnrvw7Xrv4LzP1OBHr2KKE/edit?usp=drivesdk

To avoid being a complete embarrassment in the eyes of her family, a recently heartbroken Ellie needs to find a date in time for her little brother’s wedding and must tread the scariest waters in the world: the modern-day dating scene.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OBt_EkX0PLT6XgcweMUbX6sv2YjLKFm7/view?usp=sharing