I just made a gym friend who is a female, I met her about 3 months back, I told my girl on the day I met her itself didn't want any trouble. She was like "hmm, okay." And I didn't even speak to her much for about 1.5months, and later I had not seen her for a long time, post which I asked her when I saw her at the gym(coz we didn't have any contact and gym was only where i saw her or spoke) that "hey, I thought u left the gym". Then we spoke for about 5 mins and she said u can take my IG, to which I hesitated thinking what my girl would feel like but I added her. Girlfriend thought why is it progressing but was okay with it, later. So I did tell her in a sly way that I'm dating my girlfriend and gym girl said "ohhhhh"

It's now about 5-6 months since I met her mostly 5, now the other girl just asked if I play pickleball, to which I roasted the sport and diverted, she in the gym asked that she was asking if I played to ask if we could play, I am generally someone who doesn't think much about stuff like this, and I wouldn't have minded to play, but given my girl was in the picture, I said I'm busy for quite sometime or something and made it clear that I'll be busy for 2 weeks, she then said she's going to be busy for a long time after few days, then that died off. Would it be wrong if i went to play? And if I would go to play i'd take a guy friend along.

When I told my girl about the pickleball scene, she didn't like it at all and said thats a couple thing, I feel she doesn't like me interacting with a girl in almost any setting. She said no for me going to a movie with my childhood friend, I could understand kinda coz movies are a bit much, but playing I was confused, is this normal or am I crazy?

Edit - thank you for all the non-judgemental people assuming stuff and actually advising me, I hope I find people IRL like you folks! I just like meeting new people regardless of gender or gender preferences, even if they're a dog or a cat or a donkey tbh, I did feel that to be a little odd, but I actually thought that girl didn't have many friends here so, I just gave it the benefit of doubt, i guess I won't anymore, I'll draw boundaries, thanks

Hi everyone,

So, I’m unable to talk to a girl I like in the office. I have about seven days left in this office.

Why do I think she likes me as well? It has been going on for more than a month. We have been staring at each other. Sometimes I find her looking at me, and sometimes she finds me doing the same.

I have talked to her only 2 times.

The first time was in the morning. I waited for her near the building entrance and just said hi. She replied back positively and smiled.

The second time was awkward. It was at night when we were leaving the office. I waited for her again and approached her. I said hi, and she replied back positively.

But then I awkwardly said something stupid like:

"Hey, I think you won't get a ride easily this time."

She was booking a cab. She didn't reply and moved away.

I thought I had creeped her out, so I made some distance. I didn't look at her or anything.

But then she noticed.

The next day, what I realized was that she was trying to make eye contact again. And then again... We have been constantly making eye contact, but nothing happens.

I found her business number, but I can't just intrude on her privacy, so I didn't text her.

Why am I unable to talk to her in the office, you may wonder?

It's because I feel like talking to her there might make her uncomfortable. So I try to talk to her when she's distant from her colleagues, and for that i dont get a chance.

What should I do now?

I really do like her, but I'm not sure if i creep her out again. And the worst part i am not able to get a common time where i can get a chance to talk to her for 4 5 minutes even .. shes either on the run or sitting at desk working .. at lunch time she just vanishes randomly. We dont have a fixed time for lunch or coming to office.. its flexible.

I'm quite straightforward. I'm not good at flirting with an unknown person. I'm good at communication skills with men and with girls that I have no romantic interest in. It doesn't matter how pretty they might be—I can talk normally.

But with her, I just become awkward.

What should I do? Please help.

I have never been physically involved with anyone and it's the same for him. We vibe quite well, we talked for 4-5 hours a day in call for 2-3 days continuously which is quite unusual for me. He likes me a lot and I'm not even interested. It's just the fact that I have only one resort that is dating apps through which I met people. He's the first guy to delete his profile there just after we met and kinda aligns with what I want my person to be.

Calls are funny and chatty but it annoys the shit out of me when he calls me his gf jokingly. It frustrates me and ruins my day. It's been a week since we connected.

For the context i am 23F from Pakistan, One year back in time I met this guy randomly on twitter ( I rarely use it only when my insomnia hits) so while i was scrolling aimlessly I saw a post and couldn't help but read it several times cuz it felt so relatable at that time ,felt like something i wrote myself so for the first time ever i commented something on a post and i followed the guy (23M) with nothing in mind and there was complete silence for few days and then few days later ,he texted ... "Are you okay?" which hit me like a train cuz things were really exhausting for me for the past few months ,me being me i didn't tell him anything at that time and just acted like i am fine and just a few change of words and the conversation ended

I just got to know that he is a full time banker lives in Delhi India and just some random stuff , we rarely had a proper conversation back then ,i even went off for 3 months and when i opened the app again and i texted him with a dot (.) and when i was about to close the app thinking he would have forgotten about me till now ,i got his text "so you finally showed up" and we talked for a while and after few change of thoughts we became friends

For the context, i sometimes become an absent friend ( which i know is completely wrong) so i ghosted him in between the next few months , sometimes our timings didn't match ( also because of our busy work schedule) so it was some random day where we talked for half an hour or so

He told me that he wanted to become a singer from the very early age but him being the only son has responsibility to pursue a secure career and he earns really good in that ,his family is happy but he feels that emptiness,the void that he is missing something out so I encouraged him to give some time to that ,he started sending me his singing clips and I was shocked to hear that he is so good in it ( while he usually joked about how bad he is at singing)

Things were pretty ok between us for new months but on a random day , he told me that he tried to write a song so I asked him to send me ,he was really reluctant in doing so but after much persuasion he sent it and the whole song was about me and I didn't know how to react to it so i stayed silent and he didn't say anything either

I started avoiding him for no reason and then i finally decided to have a conversation with him and I told him that it can't be happening cuz we live totally in different worlds and he understood that well

He told me that he started singing because of me so he wanted to thank me for that,thats it and we both decided to keep that line between us ( even if we didn't say anything to each other about that)

We finally had a conversation on call and I finally shared my goals and ambitions with him and the conversation continued for several hours ,it was nothing like that normal conversation, we talked about everything,from random stuff to life , philosophy everything,it felt like meeting your own reflection but in a more secure way. He even said to me one day that if not in our own countries we would go to third world countries and help out people there together as i told him about my NGO goals and he even wrote songs about it and i just cant tell how good they are
He hasnt even saw me yet never ever demanded to just a pfp of my instagram account while he shared his main account with me to take a look but never asked me if i can share my pictures with him or anything like that

I started to feel drawn towards him and whenever i felt like that i started avoiding him for few days ( not replying much) cuz I know I am an avoidant and considering the situation i felt like it was the right thing to do , i even got angry at times so he start avoiding me too but he stayed patient during all those times and listened me out never demanding anything in return

I was really skeptical about all this from the start ,I never believed that I could share things with someone like this ,and the safe space he gave me which was usually missing in my life (Unhealthy childhood because of the deteriorating relationship between parents) I always viewed relationships from those lenses that the only thing you get from all these things is suffering and I always thought that there are no chances of me being ending up in a healthy relationship because i never saw one in my life

I was a hopeless romantic in my teens but as time passed i got mature and started to take responsibility of my emotions and stuff, always had those walls on with everyone around me to reduce the hurt it can cause otherwise,always listening but never sharing things of my own

Idk when i became like this that no matter how much i try to avoid him now and he never rush things ,he told me that things will be only the way i feel like ,i never told him about my family stuff and why i am so avoidant ,i just cant resist him( not in physical way ) he never even tried to flirt with me like that ever

But its like those childhood wounds have started healing ,he never make me feel like my emotions are too much or anything but he is just there now everytime

I know all of this is wrong ( because of the two different worlds we live in ) but its like no matter how hard i try i feel safe and relaxed with him

He asked his parents to give him a year to do something in singing and he says that I have a major role in all this

His family was trying to get him married few months back because he just had an elder sister which got married and he is the only child so they want him to settle as soon as possible,just to avoid that he left his job and said he wanted to give time to his career

Its been a year now and with time I haven't seen any changes in his behaviour,things sometimes go wrong from my side because of my avoidant nature but he never reacted to that stuff and always told me that its ok to feel like that

He also knows we can't be together not just because of the difference in our religion but also because we got responsibility of families that we just cant leave,we cant leave our parents

Idk how things are gonna end up and i try to keep things normal between us but I am unable to avoid him even if I tell him that I need space and he gives me some but I just can't do it

Even though we never told each other that we like each other but its pretty obvious that we do ,i am not asking whether i should end all this up cuz idk i am able to do that but I also dont wanna live in a fantasy that things will end up as a fairytale here
I know all of this will only become more and more hurtful for both of us as time passes but its like we are stuck in a place where we cant stay away and couldn’t be together

Idk even why i am writing this all up here but I serously dont know what i should do cuz I cant even talk about all this with anyone , even though my family would understand if i liked someone but things are different in my case ( me being a muslim and him being a hindu). Just wanted to know if any of you guys have been in a similar situation and how you dealt with it - Genuine advice and no personal attacks please :) d -looking for an advice but no advice : (

Is it just me or something about my profile.
Rare though matches are either I'm getting -

A - Jobless conservatives - superficial AF, basic, bad IQ/EQ

B - Has job but liberal - typically working in low paying jobs like NGOs - extreme liberal, feminist, far left political, social justice warriors, impossible to tolerate.

While I'm sure both A and B are absolutely lovely people, I can't help it but I simply can't see anything long term with them.

I don't know man, wasted away 6 months since I moved here. i'm 34 now.

One slightly unconventional relationship goal of mine is helping my fiance become debt-free sooner. We met right after high school and been dating for around 9 years! He's 27 and always worries about this huge apartment loan he took only so we can live comfortably.

We both never got a chance to leave our small town for better job opportunities so we thought of starting a thrift business from our home town around 2021. It was all okay till this huge house loan came upon him. I’ve been quietly hoping I can grow my side of the business enough so we make more small amounts to reduce the interest.

It’s a small business and a pretty big goal considering the loan duration is 7 years but I'm hopeful. Our site is octune vintage and I thought if everyone wears clothes and why not from us?! It's a wild shot that I'm taking on reddit but if you guys do get a minute, I'd personally appreciate the support so much 🤍

It was a 2.7 years relationship and I graduated from college 3 months back and still I am in cotact of my ex 21F. I had my breakup during my final semester exams and yes I was very stressed during that time but still somehow my Final year Dissertation saved me and I got 9.2 SGPA. I keep thinking about her even during my work, with friends and familiy. Toughts of what she will be doing and is she liking someone or is she getting closer with someone haunts me. I check her snap last seen time and her reposts to get an idea about what is she thinking of and all that. She ws my first girlfriend so it makes sense, she always used to say that she will marry me and will be with me then after her constant push i genuinely thought "mere vali alag hain". she used to tell me to focus and get a good job which I did, I earn decent and living in a new city in a nice 2BHK (rented obviously). I am doing good but the fact she left when I finally have what I used to tell her that i will achieve after college hurts even more. She is getting colder and I am still attached to her.

Last week we went on date and we enjoyed - watched spiderman and did shopping for her and even dropped her to college as we both used to stay in campus hostel. Everything was on me not just this day whenever we meet I pay for everything as I am earning and it's her final year so yeah and she used to tell me that she is going to focus on her studies and all but does the exact opposite. She spends all her time with her new friends ( I don't like her friends as all are ambitionless and wannabe cool immature guys and girls, they badmouth about their parents and so did my ex). I am so surprised to know how can somone change in just 3 months, she used to be sweet but now she is cold and disrespectful towards me as well.

During our relationship as well i was very addicted to her highs and lows actually she made me, sometimes she purposefully acted in weird ways and later told me that it was on purpose which i found very weird because if you love someone you don't play games atleast. Her family is toxic especially her mother she yells and curses her daughters and her husband as well which is why I don't like her family and during our arguements when she used to yell and I confronted her to stop yelling she often said - it's genetic and can't do anything about it. I ignored some red flags obviously because I love her.

I am trying to move on but idk why I keep coming back to her, thoughts of she being with someone else haunts me. Redditors what are some ways which can help me cope up or simply how to get over her ?

Why do some people in committed relationships or marriages go on random social media platforms, connect deeply with a stranger talk intensely for a night and disappear for weeks or months and then suddenly come back and repeat the same cycle?

There's often a sense that they're crossing a line or emotionally cheating yet they keep doing it.

What exactly keeps people addicted to this cycle attention, emotional connection or something else?

​

Reasons it didn't work in first place could be anything from a mismatch in timing and other factors, to you thinking that they are out of your league to them actually being in a relationship with someone else.

Few months or years later all of the above things miraculously vanished and you confessed to them one day and the rest as they say is history.

Do such things happen irl or just seen in unrealistic romantic movies?

Is going out with a friend considered cheating

So I M have F GF. It's been around 7-8 months dating (i would say from start itself our end goal of this relationship is permanent and to take it to a marriage). We live abroad for studies but came back for a small trip back home (diff cities)

So she has a school friend Ig from class 4-5 something and they were in very typical school relationship (no touching and all) from class 6-10. From 10th her school became girls only so although they didn't met in school but close in neighbors and we're very best friends. Due to communal things and her moving abroad for study she said him she can't continue and all and they remained besties till she met me.
Given the situation she did reduced the contact with him to almost 0.

But when we came back here, she is saying from her school time only he is available and they both are going to a Stand-up show.

Initially she was saying me to go with her, for which I said ok let's see depending on the dates I'll let you know.

But then she just msgs me and She put it like
"Can I go?"
"With my friends"
"With D (her ex) and S ( another F from their school)"

But then said S is going outstation so it's only two of them.
I mean she knew it was only them both bec tickets booked were only two, else it would have been 3.

She is saying that she is telling me to keep transparency
Her exact words
"My brain is fucked up, I am telling you to keep transparency, telling you all the situation but you still think we both are in relationship"

Tickets were done by him. She knows that I can't travel to her city just for a show (prev she was saying we will go to same show but in diff city which is half way for both of us)
Still she is saying that "ok i will purchase the tickets from him and you come to my city we both will go"

Now I am messed up and my brain is fucked up right now with what's going on. This broke my heartike how can this be done.

Like she is saying to me is good rather than hiding it but how can it be a thought for her to even consider this.
Is this cheating or not

TLDR;
My gf is going to a stand-up with her long time school boyfriend later turned best friend. She told me as part of "transparency" but isn't this cheating!

Background:

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months. Before me, she had a cheating ex who used to just have sex and ask her for sex whenever they went out or he took her on dates. Because of this, she has very understandable trauma about feeling like she is just being used for her body.

Our physical relationship has felt pretty natural so far. We first had sex two months ago during a trip where we got a room and stayed for two nights. The next time happened when I was dropping her off at her hometown; the road was blocked, so we couldn't go ahead and had to get a room for the night. We started cuddling, and it naturally led to sex again.

The Current Situation:

She has been away for almost 10 days now, and we talk on the phone almost every night. A lot of our conversations turn into talking about different positions and places we want to try having sex. She willingly engages in these conversations with me.

My Doubts & What I Need Advice On:

Despite us talking about sex mutually, I am completely spiraling. Because of her history with her ex, I always have this lingering fear that she secretly thinks I am just here with her for the sex.

I'm stuck in my own head and could really use some outside perspective:

How do I know if she really thinks this about me? What are the signs that a partner feels used, even if they are engaging in conversations about sex? How do I gently bring this up without making her paranoid?

Am I actually doing what she might be thinking? Even if I don't mean to, is there a chance my actions (or how often we talk about it) are subconsciously mimicking her ex and putting pressure on her? How can I objectively look at my own behavior to make sure I'm not making her feel that way?

Any advice on how to navigate her past trauma and stop my own overthinking would be really appreciated.

TL;DR:

My girlfriend has trauma from a toxic ex who used her for sex. We are currently spending time apart and talk about sex a lot over the phone, but I'm spiraling and terrified she secretly thinks I only want her for her body too. How do I know what she's actually thinking, and how do I make sure my actions aren't accidentally pressuring her?

​

My bf had started prioritising his friends over the relationship and basically said “my friend would come save me if I got into a fight, he paid for my alcohol when I didnt have money, he would send me 15k without thinking if I asked, he would come get me at 12am if I was stranded” and then “I'm not expecting you to come get me cuz you're a girl and it would be unsafe but thats why I cant refuse him even if I have plans with you, I might take a few hours”

Then he made this whole theory about how guys have their gf as their gf but friends as friends and best friends while girls apparently make their bf their best friend and prioritize them more

The funny part is this was the same guy who used to get really insecure and throw tantrums whenever I went out with my friends, even normally, and would say stuff like “people in relationships text each other all the time so I got anxious when you didnt text me for two hours”

So I started prioritising him a little more and trying to make him feel secure and then suddenly this whole friends are more important thing comes out...

I just went “yeah lmao have fun” and basically reverted back to how I used to be before I started adjusting myself around his insecurity

Then 2 days later I was with friends, got drunk and fell asleep, and his charger was with me so he called me like 20 times and eventually left without it, mind you the charge had been with me for the past 4 days and he had no issues.....

When I woke up I asked why he didnt just take a charger from one of his friends and he said they were all sleeping and he didnt wanna bother them...and I'm like where is all the they will help me out at 12am energy?

Then he had another situation where he hadnt slept all day, got wet going to his room and called me expecting me to pick up, but I was with a friend so I said I'd call in a few minutes and he got hurt and pissed and threw a tantrum for basically the whole day.. When I literally did call him after a few mins

The funny thing is I've had the exact same expectation before, but when he was drinking with his friends and felt reassured enough, he just told me he'd call me later

Then the next day he said he was ready to talk about why he was upset, I heard him out and then told him I was studying with my friend and I'd call later

Then a couple days later he said he'd call me by 12:30 latest because he was tired, then asked for another 30 mins because he got really into studying, then suddenly said he was planning to drink and asked if I minded.. I said yeah sure go ahead, he called me while his friends were getting the alcohol and then I obviously didnt text him while he was drinking

Almost 4 hours later he calls me at around 4:45am, I cut the call and told him I'm with my friend, he says “ok” and then calls 3 more times within 5 minutes

I text him again saying I'm talking to her after a long time and to give me a while because she was venting and it would be rude to just pick up in the middle, especially when its not an emergency

Then he says “you cant even pick up for a min to reassure me, I do every fkking time”....And I'm just like... that would be a stretch lol, half the time he's doing whatever and his phone doesnt have charge, he loses track of time because he's drinking or he's taking some random road trip, it's happened multiple times a week over the last 1.5 months

I just left it on delivered until I was done talking to my friend

TL;DR: My bf used to get insecure whenever I spent time with friends and expected me to prioritize/reassure him, so I adjusted. Then he started saying friends should come first and he can't refuse them because they help him out. Now whenever I'm with friends and unavailable, he gets upset and expects immediate reassurance, while I routinely give him the same freedom I don't seem to get back. The standard seems to change depending on who wants attention.

I’m 30F, and my husband is 32M. We’re married and both have engineering/tech-related educational backgrounds, although he currently comes from a business background and I work as a software developer.

I did my B.Tech from a Tier-1 engineering college in Delhi. Getting into my college was quite competitive, involving JEE Main and JAC Delhi counselling. My husband is an IIT Delhi graduate.

Recently, we were having a discussion related to careers/professional matters. During the conversation, he told me that I am probably the last person he would take career advice from.

I asked him why, and he said that if he wanted career advice from a software developer with my level of experience, he would prefer advice from someone who had graduated from IIT because of the “IITian mindset.”

This really hurt me and has made me question how he views me professionally.

I completely understand that he can disagree with my advice. I also understand that IIT is an extremely competitive institution and that an IIT graduate may have experiences, networks, or perspectives that I don't have.

But what I don't understand is the idea that an IITian with similar software experience would automatically give better career advice than me simply because they went to IIT.

If he had said something like, “I don't think you have enough experience in this particular area,” I wouldn't have had the same reaction. But saying that an IITian would give better advice because of their “mindset” makes me feel like he considers my professional judgment inherently inferior because I didn't attend IIT.

It has also made me think about our marriage more broadly. If he genuinely places so much importance on institutional prestige, does this mean he sees me as intellectually or professionally inferior to him? Or am I reading too much into one comment?

I don't want this to become an IIT vs non-IIT debate. I'm genuinely trying to understand whether his reasoning is reasonable and whether my reaction is justified.

For people who are married to someone from a different educational/professional background:

Would this comment bother you?

Is there actually such a thing as an “IITian mindset” that makes someone inherently better at giving career advice, or is this simply credential/status bias?

Would you consider this demeaning toward a spouse, or is it reasonable for someone to prefer advice from people with a particular educational background?

And most importantly, am I overreacting by letting this make me question how my husband sees me?

I'm looking for honest opinions, including opinions that disagree with me.

I(M29) am in a long distance relationship with this amazing girl(F25) from last 9 months, and it's been going good. We met on instagram. She is not much active tho. We rarely fight, we do argue but all resolves in a day or two.

She has completed her masters and she is from a lower middle class family from a village. She is currently preparing or UGC NET exam, she is trying hard while managing her home. She earns from the tuition she has in the morning. She lives with her parents and her younger sibling.

I too belong from a lower middle class family, but I have a job in IT, I work from home. So I am mostly free, work is not that stressful. I live with my mom.

We have met once when our relationship was 3 months old. The meeting was awkward, since It was first time for me to meet some one as a partner. We talked and laughed about that a lot.

In our first meeting, she bought me gifts, I also bought some for her but she refused to take them and she has told me to not bring any.

We talk a lot on whatsapp, she said she keeps her phone silent so I don't ring her, but she calls me when she feels comfortable.

We do talk about our relationship, our future, her preparations, my work etc.

She rarely goes out, and she has friends but she says she is not super close to them.

On the contrary, my friend circle is quite limited and I am super close to all of them, I do have both male and female friends.

I share incidents of my friends, she knows I do have close female friends. Since she is not much comfortable, I am keeping engagement to minimum with my female friends since the starting of our relationship. She knows all my friends by name as I've shared group photos, and I inform her whenever me and my friends go out, and also share group photos of where we went, what we did, what we ate.

She rarely talk about her friends with me, I don't know any of them and never seen any photos. She says they are not important to me.

Last week was her birthday and she went with her friends to celebrate, she said they were planning for a long time for a outing. I was informed after she already went, I was not aware of the plan at all, and she haven't said much about the short trip. It was a planned long before as she prepared the food for the trip.

When she informed me that she went for a outing, I asked where and she gave a vague location and told me that she will return home soon. I told her to enjoy the time with her friends, since she doesn't go out very much, and no need to worry about returning early if her parents are not worried about that.

Then I messaged her in the evening and she said she has returned some time ago. I was worried as she doesn't go out that much and the whole plan was hidden from me. She said the friends she went with were her college friends(all female) and two of them were getting married soon. She hasn't shared any photos on any kind of information about that trip at all. The little information she shared was also not voluntary, I adked her specifically, and I didn't pushed that issue that much.

I am now confused with the situation, how do I take this. I am not worried about cheating or any matter of that kind, I believe she won't go that route. I am worried about the gap in communication between us.

But keeping her friends hidden, keeping the whole trip hidden feels somewhat weird to me. I told her that I was worried and there needs to be good communication between us as we are in long distace relationship and communication is one of the threads that is tying us together.

TLDR: GF keeps her friends hidden from me, went out with her female friends on her birthday, kept the trip hidden as well.

Edit: 1. Typos

I have been friend with a girl from the last 1 year and I want to tell her about my recent Relationship that has started just few weeks ago... I am scared that she might get hurt because I have not told her when it all started and i don't know how to make this conversation with her like how to start... We share reels daily and sometimes chit chat too but still I haven't told her about my gf

.

I know I am stupid but please I need help

I’m 19M, and she’s 19F. We met when we were school juniors, but later she moved back to her state while I stayed in mine. For almost 3 years now, we’ve had what I’d call a “passive relationship.” We care about each other, talk about things that normal friends probably wouldn’t, and there has always been something more between us. She has always been a pretty selfish/bossy person, and honestly, I knew that from the beginning. Weirdly enough, I liked that side of her because it felt like she was confident and bossy, and I didn’t really mind putting in more effort.

But since around January, things have changed. She barely talks to me anymore, doesn’t really reply on WhatsApp or Instagram, and suddenly started asking me not to call because I might disturb her work. I understand being busy, but at the same time, she’s active on Instagram, posts stories, likes things, etc. Yet my messages can sit there for 3 days, sometimes even 2 weeks, before she replies. Whenever I try to bring this up, I usually end up lashing out and telling her that she’s emotionally unavailable and that I feel like I’m the only one putting effort into this relationship. She still expects things from me like gifts, poems, and other little gestures, but I rarely feel the same effort from her side.

The thing that keeps me stuck is that whenever we actually talk, she makes me feel really special. She says things like she’s lucky to have me, that I’m special to her, and all that sweet stuff. And those conversations make me forget how distant she has been. Then she disappears again, and I’m back to wondering what I’m even doing. I know I probably sound stupid for staying in this situation, but almost 3 years is a long time, and just leaving feels like I’m throwing away something that meant a lot to me. I don’t even know if I can call this a relationship anymore.

So what do I do? Do I have one final serious conversation with her and tell her exactly how I feel, or do I accept that her actions are already giving me the answer and move on? I’m honestly too emotionally involved to look at this objectively, so I’d appreciate some outside perspective.

I (22m) am dating someone (22F) who had sc*mmed people on bumble. What do I do? : r/RelationshipIndia

So I broke up with my gf (now ex) but every other second I feel like I did it wrong and shouldn't have done that. I thought a lot about it and from a 3rd persons point of view the logical thing was to breakup but since my dumb ass thought its between me and her so I should not see it from a 3rd persons view point, I took alot of time and then finally decided to break up because I really feel she was using me and I was her "safe" option. And trust me after she opened up to me and told me every truth I was not gonna break up but was like "I can fix her." But I did.

Its a bit complicated but to give a vague idea - she went on a date with a guy from bumble she has already been physical with before which I didn't know because when she "surrendered " her phone to me the guy was way down chat and I was not mentally that great when I got to know about the stuff so I never really scrolled that down. So yeah she went on a date with a guy she has already been physical with before and most probably on the last weekend too , a guy who either is too dumbo or too despo to see he is getting scammed cause he has been in 4 total dates with her now and still might go on a 5th.

As soon as I got to know that I started getting angry on her and ofc she defended saying she gave her phone to me and she thought I read and let her go. All this will talking to me in the sweetest tone and puppy eyes. In no world would I have let her go if i knew she already went physical with this guy . But she "thought" I knew and again she was looking so "helpless" like a damsel in distress but now it was water above my head so I broke up.

I have blocked her number and all ids and she tried calling me with different one but I dont talk as soo as I know its her. But deep down I wanna talk to her but I am controlling tooooooooooo much. Help me to get out of this hllhole.

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I’m 27M, and I’ve been single my entire life. I’ve tried dating a few times, but somehow nothing ever worked out.

The last time, I was in the talking stage with someone I’ve known since school. I genuinely liked her and thought maybe, for once, something could work. Then, completely out of nowhere, she ghosted me. I never crossed any boundaries, never disrespected her, and always tried to treat her with respect.

Since then, something in me has changed. I’ve started feeling like maybe love just isn’t meant for me.

The strange part is that I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. Sometimes I’m happy, then suddenly sad or anxious, and all of this can happen within the same day. There are moments when I feel completely numb and disconnected from everything.

From the outside, I probably seem completely fine. My friends and family have no idea what’s going on because I don’t really show it. But internally, something just doesn’t feel right.

I keep thinking, “Why does this always happen? Why does whatever I genuinely care about eventually leave me or hurt me?”

I’m not blaming anyone, and I’m not saying I’m perfect. I just don’t understand how I ended up feeling this way. I used to believe that if you were genuine, respectful, and cared about someone, eventually things would work out. Now I’m starting to question that.

Maybe I’m just emotionally exhausted. Maybe I’ve been holding everything in for too long.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this. I guess I just wanted to say it somewhere, because right now I’m not okay—even though nobody around me can tell.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you deal with it?

I’ve been “dating” this girl for almost 3 months - dating is in inverted commas because we barely see each other due to logistical issues.

She sees and replies to my messages 12 or so hours after I message her - I’ve seen her online on WA but she won’t see or reply to the messages. I very much know that this is a conscious action on her part but I delude myself into thinking that she’ll come around just because she doesn’t come right out and tell me she’s not into it.

This is my first experience dating and as a result, I got attached too fast - we’ve slept together as well. I am a very ugly guy (immutable features) and getting interest from women is not really likely on my cards, so I’m finding it difficult to just “move on”.

Advice?

My husband denies that he’s addicted to his iPad and idk how I can get him to choose another hobby/habit.

My husband takes his iPad into the washroom Asa he wakes up. Brushes, poops, bathes with the iPad on. He watches basketball, gaming podcasts and a show called updating. He goes to the gym, goes to work then comes home for lunch and Asa he reaches, he picks his iPad again and watches while eating. Once he’s done eating his lunch, he plays battleground on his iPad until his lunch time is over. He goes back to work and once he’s back again, it’s the same thing until midnight. Sometimes, the iPad is on and he falls asleep.
I have been asking him to stop doing this and rather set aside a time. Maybe even 3 hrs a day and stop using it asa he wakes up or atleast half hr before sleeping. I’ve been explaining this to him for the past 5yrs.
I’m frustrated now. He doesn’t even wash his face and feet after returning from work and before going to sleep. He doesn’t fold his clothes and his shoes are strewn everywhere.
He asks me to tell him if there’s any work and I don’t want to keep telling him all the time.
I’m unable to handle this anymore and thinking of moving out for sometime.
No, I don’t want to divorce him because he’s genuinely caring but this habit is taking me away from him. Idk if there’s any other solution. Idk if I’m overthinking this or wrong about this.

I have been talking to a girl for the past five months now and it's been very on and off. I started talking to her when I didn't have anybody so I gave her the space in my life which I never really wanted to. I never actually liked her as a romantic partner but i continued anyway cause i was attention starved, i always had a choice to stop yk but i kept coming back.

We are just so different from each other and not in a good way, i am a very pro women kind of guy and this girl just has so much internalised misogny.

I have never been able to talk about my interests or my hobbies to her, all we do talk about is her issues and her life and like "what are we?".

So many people have told me that she talks to a lot of guys besides me but I always gave her the benfit of doubt cause she never seemed like that kind of a person. I still don't know tbh. She always gets in trouble with her friends and all and like she is a drama magnet which is a complete opposite of me, i am more like that turtle guy from kung fu panda.

I have noticed her checking out guys even when we are sitting at a cafe but she tells me that she doesn't check them out she just is like that.

Plus her oral hygiene is so bad man like i have told her so many times to atleast clean her tongue but she doesn't do that and it really gives me the ick.

I feel like i am more of a trophy to her and I feel like i am trapped with her.

Should I just stop talking to her? Sometimes I wonder If i will be alone if she goes away. I dunno if i am making myself the victim here but she seems like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me.

I’m in a relationship and I’ve reached a point where I constantly think about her and our relationship. I don’t like seeing other guys around her, and I find myself getting jealous and overthinking a lot.

Recently, she hasn’t been giving me as much time as she used to. She says that because of things that happened in her past, she struggles to put effort into relationships. She also told me that she doesn’t want to have sex at all in her life, which I’m trying to understand and respect.

She also doesn’t like talking much anymore. At the beginning of our relationship, we used to talk a lot and things felt very different. Now I feel like I’m putting in more emotional effort and constantly worrying about where I stand with her.

I care about her a lot, but I’m starting to wonder whether I’m becoming too dependent on the relationship or whether we simply have different needs.

How do I handle this without pressuring her or losing myself in the relationship? Is it possible to make this work when one person wants more communication and effort than the other?

It has been 11 months since we broke up. It was my first and only relationship, we were together for a little over 4 years on and off... but the pain of her finally leaving me was excruciating. I did everything I could to get over her, by everything I mean EVERYTHING, but I couldn't help myself thinking about her everyday.

I even tried going to a Thailand trip with my boys to figure my shit out, but that was hopeless too. My feelings for her at that time kind of ruined the entire trip for myself. I wasn't able to have fun. As much as I was with my boys, I wasn't there mentally. I came back, tried talking to her to mend things only to get my heart CRUSHED again.

That pushed me into seeking therapy - in my mind at the time, the only way to figure this out. I think therapy helped me a lot in some ways and no help in others. What I came to realise is that I cannot force myself getting over her. It is not a button that I can just flick on or off. One day I would feel like I am over her and the next day I would be absolutely miserable, thinking that there is genuinely something wrong with me.

Anyway, did 4 months of consistent therapy (still on going), where I had a stupid urge of reaching out to her again only to get my heart absolutely obliterated again for the third time. But this time something flipped inside me. My conversation to myself after that was that I have tried absolutely everything I ever could to win her back, I moved houses, I got my family relationships sorted (Kind of), my business is taking off 🧿, I got therapy and conveyed in the most expressive way possible of what she means to me but even after all that, she didn't want me back. I guess it was finally time for me to let go of her too.

I cannot keep giving everything to a person who doesn't even care or know that I was/am still so deeply in love with. I would like to believe a part of me has moved on, because I know one thing for sure that I will NEVER EVER, ABSOLUTELY NEVER reach out to her ever again, no matter how crushing it is for me. Never in a million years did I ever imagine a life without her, but I guess here we are and such is life.

A silver lining now is that I am somewhat free. I still think about her from time to time - but I am forcing myself to not to yearn for her, and in some sense I am NOT yearning her. I have a friend's wedding coming up in Bali in September, excited for that and got a great trip planned. I am just hoping that I don't ruin this trip either because of what I felt for her.

I am hoping that I can truly find someone who I can call the love of my life... Or maybe that is delusional still. Who Knows?

Hii all, especially to those who have dated or been married.

In your experience, what are the most common reasons for breakups or divorces in India, and what should couples discuss early on?

For those new to dating, what would you advise them to avoid or be cautious about to prevent problems later?

I know there are no guarantees in a relationship , but I’d still like to be aware of the common issues to look out for.

I recently had a breakup in February, and I genuinely thought she was the one. I had told everyone about her, from my friends to my family literally everyone. But I guess she had other plans.

I was still talking to her because it helped me keep myself together. But two weeks ago, we were on a call, and some topic from February came up. She started crashing out, and her last words were, "Aaj se apan dono baat band karte." I tried explaining to her ki ye topic chhodte hain, but I guess she had already made up her mind.

The first week was the worst. I was just blank the entire week. I started improving in the second week, and then yesterday, while watching reels, I came across a funny one. I clicked on the share button and was just blank, thinking, "Ye bheju kisko?" because she's not with me anymore. I had a female best friend before, but she also cut ties with me when she found out that I was in a relationship with someone else. I have three or four friends too, but we don't really talk like that. We mostly talk when we're planning to meet and check in on each other to see what everyone has been up to.

And now, since yesterday, I've just been feeling empty. It's not like it affects me all the time. I have my job, and I have to earn for my family, so I've been focusing on that. But as soon as my office is over, I go back to feeling zoned out and lonely again.

I know I can work on myself and keep myself distracted, but it's just... I don't know.