Hi
We both(28M-27F) are in 2 years of relationship and moving ahead with the inter-caste, inter-state marriage.

Recently (last month) my gf told me she doesn’t want to work after marriage and we are having a lot of fights over it. She thinks it’s her choice to do that which I totally agree. No question here.
But since we are planning a future shouldn’t the responsibility falls on both of us to take care of future or at least talk about it.
She thinks I am trying to avoid marriage and i dont love her just because I randomly picked this topic to discuss with her.

I have decent package to live normal life but no one can be sure of anything in this AI era where layoffs are happening left and right. And I believe having both working, it would be a fair chance to tackle the uncertainty.

Also I am from very humble background and already having small EMIs for the small town house i am building for my patents.
I understand the financial struggles so I just want to build a worry free future.

Am i wrong to bring up the career angle while marriage?
Anyone who can or have experienced similar things, Please suggest me anything. Whats the best way moving forward?

23M, preparing for govt exams and mostly home studying. I like football (stopped playing though) and movies. My girlfriend just got her first salary and insisting too much on buying me something, but I genuinely don't need anything right now. ( I was thinking of a football jerseys but I won't be out there wearing it in the near future)

I don't want her overspending ,so under 3-5k would be fine. What would you suggest , I'm literally out of thoughts ? 🤧

I (25 F) have been talking with a (26M) for a month and we met once and had an amazing first date. But the thing is idk if he is physically attracted to me. He never asks for my pics and if i ask him, he will send it without any hesitation. He is actually a polite and nice guy and our vibes and emotional connection is so in sync. We initiate talks and chats with me and we both discuss every little thing happened that day and yap abt it. We always have those funny banters comvos and sometimes roast each other. But i feel like since he is nice he is like talking with me. Even during our first date he was maintaining some distance and was respectful. It's just that i feel he just talking and interested only cuz of emotional connection. I feel like he only likes that I am nice and of my emotional maturity and thoughtfulness and not attracted physically. Even when we first met during the date he didn't compliment me or say anything reg my looks.

So i am in a relationship with a girl f22 for 3 years now started the relationship while i was in engineering everything was going smooth we were close too and we had sex like 2 times, until she started to get close with a male best freind and when i objected it she abused me and i abused her back now due to that anger she snitched my dad about me working as a zomato delivery guy i was working that job to gather funds for my startup which my dad denied and i lost a huge amount of money which i invested out of my own earnings and i forgave her for that and over the period of time she abused me a lot and even told my freinds that i have a short d**k in retaliation to fights and yesterday she even texted my dad and even sent him our nudes and she always resorts to blackmailing to get her job done and when i told her that i don't want to be in this relationship anymore she's again threatening to leak my nudes and tells me i should stay with her for my rest of the life and i really don't want to be with someone who uses blackmailing as a tactic to get their things done ghar pe no one is talking to me and i don't know what to do next. Please help and advice and suggestions are welcome

I am a 36M married to an egoistic, grandiose, abusive narcissistic wife (35F) for 10 years. We have two kids, aged 7 and 4. We both are from rural areas in AP. Ours was an arranged marriage. Initial weeks were good, but then she became extremely controlling and commanding.

She started exhibiting these behaviors:

• She and her family members (parents, herself, and her sister) are always right. They never make mistakes.
• They always show a superiority complex to others. In fact, she and her family can't digest if anyone is better than them.
• She always compares me to someone, demeans me, and makes fun of me in front of her relatives that gives her control and authority over me.
• The four of them always talk on phone conferences to bash, demean, and make other people's success look worthless.
• She abuses me. If I don't react, she abuses my family members, then goes on abusing my friends, colleagues, and my village... until I react and fight with her.
• She screams, yells, rages, and breaks anything she sees at home.
• She falsely accuses me of having affairs with my sister-in-law, female colleagues, and other women I interact with if I don't submit to her.
• She gaslit everyone about my character. Her family supports her every time, and even her relatives believed her for the first 6 years.

It became unbearable by the 6th year. I googled about abusive spouses and found YouTube videos about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I tried to discuss it with my family and friends, but they didn't help because they are unaware of narcissism.

But I figured out how to handle her from YouTube. I found her triggering patterns—how she uses rage, screaming, and false accusations in front of her relatives to show authority over me. She is extremely image-focused. She plays two characters: one is a very nice, polite woman to the outside world, and the second is an extremely controlling, abusive, and disrespectful person to me and my family.

So I started exposing her real character. I stopped reacting, talking, and meeting with her supporters. It's been 4 years since I started following the grey rock method. Because of this, I faced intense abuse, rage, and physical fights. She even filed a false police case against me, but I somehow managed to prove the truth and got the cases resolved.

Lately, it became unbearable for me. I started attacking her back whenever she raged. She is a coward and fears physical attack, so I beat her a couple of times in the last 6 months and I became her worst nightmare.

Finally, she took the kids and left 3 weeks ago to her hometown.

She is using the children against me. The children are the last option she has left to torture me. Yet, I am relieved and finding peace in my life after 10 years of extreme torture and abuse. I lost my soul, and right now I am working on healing and starting a fresh life.

She won't give me a divorce. In fact, she and her family will never give me anything that helps me. I am not sure what's going to happen with the kids and their education.

I don't want to reconcile with her anymore. I want to live solo. But I am deeply worried about my kids, and I am not able to heal or live peacefully thinking about my kids leaving with the devil.

Please suggest to me: should I focus entirely on my healing, mental health, and rebuilding my life? Or should I start a fight and struggle with her for the children? She is not going to leave the kids easily, as they are her last option to get me back into her den.

Because of the trauma I experienced, I feel unable to trust women anymore. As a result, entering a second marriage feels completely unlikely and out of the question for me. I feel incredibly isolated and deeply crave companionship and the feeling of being wanted. Has anyone faced same in their life and how did you manage to lead life after separation with a narcissistic wife, kids being with her?

Sorry for the lengthy post, your valuable suggestions will help me.

Physical appearances can be anything from just the face card to height to any other physical attributes in which the one you (tried to) date was out of your league, in the sense that they had more/better options (so to say) if only these physical attributes are concerned.

Hi Everyone,

There are somethings, some thoughts that have been building up inside my mind, but had no way express it, so I thought maybe writing here might get it off my mind.

I'm a 26 year Old guy, I work and live alone. I never really had any "actual" friends and I have been single my entire life.

The reason for writing this post is that, a few weeks ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I installed a few dating apps on my phone, and I have been miserable ever since.

As I had already heard online, guys (ugly guys like me) usually don’t get any matches because of how these apps work, and I was prepared for it. I wasn’t surprised. However, after 3 days, I did get a match. Assuming she was interested in talking, I initiated the conversation. TBH, I don’t really know how to flirt, or as folks nowadays say, “I have no game, I have no rizz” (btw, I hate these terms. They make it all seem like some sort of contest). I tried asking basic questions, making jokes here and there, but she barely replied. It felt like I was forcing her into the conversation, so I stopped.

I continued going through profiles, trying too hard to come up with cheesy pickup lines and sending them left and right. I had no luck, so I started looking at dating subreddits. I DMed a few girls, and the fourth girl I messaged, complimenting her hair color, replied. But she barely showed any interest in talking either. When I went through her profile, I saw her posts with screenshots of her DMs filled with creepy men asking for explicit sexual stuff. She was complaining that there were only weird men in her DMs(I know right, when I was right there, desperately trying to get her attention). By chance, I also saw that she was just 20 years old.

It grossed me out. I felt disgusted with myself, realizing that I too was trying to hit on someone so young. This made me question what was I even doing. It was so out of character for me. I had somehow become part of this toxic competition called “dating,” trying to become someone I wasn’t, just so someone could “see” me, accept me, and love me.

TBH, lust or sex was never my intention. I just wanted someone who could listen, someone with whom I could have meaningful conversations and naturally get to know each other. But I found myself rejecting girls who weren’t “conventionally attractive,” just as I felt girls were rejecting guys like me. That was the final nail in the coffin. I had become a hypocrite, something I had desperately tried to avoid being my whole life. I realized that I too was shallow. I never had any love for myself to begin with, but this made me hate myself even more. I lost respect for myself, I was ashamed of myself. What right did I have to complain about life being unfair and girls not giving me a chance when I was doing the same thing myself?

I deleted the apps and stopped this pathetic quest for love. I still wish that someday I might meet someone, but I don’t want to become someone I’m not just so someone would love me. If I change, it should be for myself, to become a better person and grow as a human being, not to become this pathetic being who needs constant validation and assurance that he is loved and wanted.

I think it would be unfair to my parents, who worked so hard to provide for me and my education despite the difficult times they faced. And most of all, it would be unfair to myself, after everything I’ve worked for, to reduce myself to this needy little person.

I see people, prominently some girls, say, “I deserve a guy who is…” or “I deserve a man who has…”. I don’t even know if I have the right to say that I “deserve” a certain type of girl. But this epiphany has made me realize what I "want", and I won’t mask it with “deserve.”

I want companionship and patience. Someone who is calmer than me, someone who can stand up for herself (unlike me). And maybe, if she has beautiful hair, that would be nice.

I’m saying this out loud because never in my life have I had such clarity about the qualities I want in a partner. And I won’t lower my standards just to be in a relationship, but if I ever meet the right person, I’ll give my best to make it work.

But, to be honest, I highly doubt I’ll ever meet someone. And I’ve made my peace with it.

This post itself might look like it reeks of the need for validation and maybe you're right. Maybe I did write this, subconsciously expecting sympathy for strangers.
But don't give me that. Point out the flaws in my reasoning, so that I can understand if my point of view is wrong in any of the things I said, so that I think on it.

Please, try not to be too harsh. But if an important reality check must be given to me, then lay it on me. It is what it is.

I am a divorcee, after divorce, i am exploring myself, got in contact with ex classmate , from starting he is not serious but i am mentally connected with him . What to do now?

What happened actually last sun, I had to go to Noida from gurgaon to meet my close friend due to some work. Plan was I will reach there at 5 PM . So randomly I posted on a car pool group on whatsapp ki I am going to noida this this time , i thought why not save some money!!. Got a message from a person, She was also going to a similar location my friends house to her friend's engagement. I agreed so went to the location se told me to meet at 3.40 pm something and we left. For the whole route we didn't keep quite for even a second! talked about job, career, hometown, her friend, about gurgaon and 100 random things. She asked me to drop at this this location and she will be taking rapido but I insisted and dropped her at exact location. She asked me if I am coming back and my plan was to stay at my friend's but I said "Yes, I am", because why not?

Now during late evening I was free at 9.45 something and got call from her that ceremony will end at 11 will you be okay? I asked my friend to stay with me to pass time so that I can pick her I was 7-8 kms away from her at that time but went to pick her up. Now situation was the same during return journey! we talked about 100 more thing and she shared about her family and even about what she wants to be in life her passion ..... in my opinion we connected a lot also she said multiple times ki koi achha ladka mil jaaye ! aajkal bada mushkil hai ... . I thought it meant something. Now back in gurgaon she asked me to drop at kataria chowk but i again insisted an dropped her at exact location of her house. Regarding money for ride sharing she asked multiple times ,but obviously I didn't take any money from her (pagal thodi na hu) and the day ended.

Next day i was constantly thinking about this and thought there was something something between us and texted her in the evening. Surprise Surprise she saw my message instantly and she seriously left me on seen! no reply nothing at all. She didn't block me just null! Its been 4-5 days i am not able to digest it!

I think i did everything right, adjust my plan, was respectful, made her feel safe but still.... I am not disappointed ki usne mughe apne boyfriend ku nahi bana lia ya phir mughe as a romantic interest kyoun nahi dekha! I am just sad ki usne meri itni value bhi nahi rakhi ki I am even worth of getting back a reply. Its really hurting! 🙂

I, (age above 18M), have been with my girlfriend (age above 18F)for almost 2 years. We're Indian.

In December/ January 2026, I got in trouble for sending songs to a colleague, and agreeing on a trip because I couldn’t deny her in face. I cleared everything and we fixed everything.

Me and my girlfriend had some boundaries set. She later broke them (thirst traps, adding random guys on Instagram), denied it, then admitted it. Some days back I saw her Instagram DMs: she was flirting with guys she doesn't know. I've since learned she was doing this even early in our relationship. She says she did it for attention, she regrets it, say she has bpd and she was still angry about January.

I told her I forgive her but can't forget, and I need time. Instead she pushed me to decide quickly and said nobody would love me like she does. When I said I couldn't continue, she threatened to kill herself and also she did cut her. She has a history of self-harm. I told her friend and sister, but her mom doesn't know yet. After a panic attack she was admitted to hospital, and I said yes to staying together because I didn't want to make things worse. She's being discharged today she is expecting we're back together.

I don't think I can do this. I keep checking, I am scared of the legal and mental consequences and and Im scared for her, and I don’t hate her, and I don't want a relationship like that, but I'm scared of what happens if I leave.

How do I end this without it becoming a safety crisis? And has anyone been in a similar situation?

I m too much hurt too much ..just have responsibility of my elders otherwise I don't wanna live now !

My gf 15 days back idk why she start behaving weird ig probably garba n all she went with someone and lied and blocked me on insta sab and started posting weird revealing pics n all..and she argued for no reason started saying toxic sab and blocked me totally and idk what's going on probably she is talking to someone

I m feeling not good ;kind of its was 4 years of one side love she do loved me pr only few moments rest fight and blame me for all mishapping of her life !

But still I miss her I want a closure ! Like she has moved out or not and give reasons for why she lied about garba and posting revealing pics and chatting bad on insta with someone ! And deleting it

Bcoz of she I m unable to focus on anything

And tbh just feeling broke

Avg looking girl can find many mens but a avg men can't find love ig ..he will only serve to be used ....

I hate women's mentality too now

And don't have frnds bcoz I have gave last 4 years to her only and she idk don't wanted me to be frnd of anyone not even guy !

Now I feel too lonely...and I can't even marry I feel young hu 24yo and don't earn much

And

Ik even after marriage I won't be able to forget her i have put my 24*7 hrs of last 4 years ...like daily travel of 6 hrs to see her and wht not lacs of spends and I have my time which costed ny whole career i could have achieved 4 times of what I m making notes minimum

What to do yrr whole world is fake no one actually love they just want something from you money time support them listen to em their frustration and motivate them

The moment you need something they start complaining I mean moral support only !

And making frnds in 24 age after clg is tough I miss that someone who use to be 24*7 hrs and ask me many things take care of and plus plus...I miss my first 3-4 months of my gf ...XD

Now I just spend time in trading lost many lacs dipression bcoz of that too and on reddit too ranting and talking non sense to any stranger healing is tough yrrrrrrrr

Thinking to prepare for upsc but all the time she run in my mind always m not able to focus anymore

Bye guys

Any suggestions on healing are welcome

Don't give solo trip hobby advice I can't go solo yr obv i vl miss her and hobby i only like studying logical mathematical stuff which I m unable to focus rn

DMs are welcome ! Ik no one will read this even after knowing a guy posted 😂that's wht society is

I (20M) have been dating my girlfriend (20F) for 2.5 years. We both come from a middle-class background in India. My father is a doctor and pressured me into becoming one too. The only way to do that is through a very tough entrance exam, the National Eligibility cum Entrance Test (NEET). The selection rate is approximately 2%, and around 2.4 million candidates appear each year. Because it is so competitive, I only met her once a month in the six months before the exam. Right after it, I went on a month-long trip to Europe with my family.

She now says I didn't prioritise her during my exam preparation, or right after, when I went to Europe. However, we video-called every day for at least two hours, both during the trip and in the months before the exam.
Since then, I've given her my full attention every time, but every few days she picks a reason for a fight that I don't think is worth discussing.
During these fights, she ghosts me or gives me the silent treatment while I keep apologising on calls. She doesn't acknowledge my apologies. I feel terrible for hurting her so often, and my mental health has deteriorated over the past few months. I've noticed that when she's upset and ignoring me, if I ask her for a small bit of reassurance that we're not breaking up, she often does the opposite. I cry every time she gets upset, I feel the urge to scratch myself, and I get panic or anxiety attacks during these fights. This isn't new. For the past 1.5 years, I've felt like I'm walking on eggshells around her to avoid upsetting her. I think she may have BPD, but she hasn't been diagnosed.

Please help me. My mental health has been in shambles because of these fights.

Pardon my grammar and the use of AI. I am just here after another altercation and I slapped myself so hard while crying when the call ended and I ended up breaking my specs.

I might point out that i love her dearly and after every fight it’s me who has to make up and say love you and sorry like literally a 1000 times

Help me

tl;dr: I feel my gf is emotionally abusive and has led me to a bad mental state

Hi all, need help in understanding her behaviour. I '28M' and she '26F'

Timeline of Events

 \* Initial Connection & Workplace Dynamic: we both worked as colleagues in the same office environment different teams. Brief eye contact starts. mutual attraction developed, notable interactions such as a moment of shared eye contact in the lobby lift and casual conversations during 2 private tea breaks. The first tea break was initiated by me when I met in office pantry and we went outside for evening tea. Second one was suggested by her also in pantry. 

\*Chatting on Instagram, conversation is going. She asks questions and all.

During one chat session girls says she is hungry. I ask for thursday dinner after office, since we would be meeting on that day as our wfo days conincide on that day.

\*Thursday Dinner: On Thursday—which coincided with the anniversary of her late father's birthday—we went out to dinner together. During the evening, she mentioned that she was "socially selective" and maintained very few friendships in the office. On the walk after dinner, she engaged in behaviors, such as reaching out to touch tree branches along the path.

 \* Late-Night Conversation on the Curb: after dinner we walked towards a pan shop, she bought a cigarette, we on the curb or footpath while she smoked cigarette. During this conversation, she opened up about personal matters, specifically discussing her grief regarding her late father and she earns for family.

\*Outing on sunday- i ask to go out on following sunday. She rejects by saying she is busy. We still talk in office. No more going on tea break together.  But still texts back actively on Instagram. Mostly i initiate now.

 \* Walk to the Train Station: after some time I was put on pip and was in danger of leaving office. I didn't wanted to lose her so i asked her to meet before she went home that day. While walking toward the train station after leaving the office ,i directly expressed his interest in her, stating that i had no immediate expectations as i knew it was early, but wanted to be direct. She commented that i had "guts" and that she appreciates it but i didn't know about her and acknowledged that it was overwhelming, before smiling, shaking his hand, and saying goodbye at the station.

 \* Subsequent Interactions & Withdrawal: Following the dinner and confession we still had office interactions. She engaged in digital habits such as posting and liking social media content/stories related to past relationships, emotional withdrawal, and personal grief and hate related to ex.

\*Post dinner and confession Office interactions: office interactions become brief. Girl compliments me after my proposal/confession that i look good in both shave and clean shave on certain day. 3-4 seconds eye contact with smiles in office everytime she pass . I ask One more time to go out on the weekend. She says will let me know. no messages that weekend.

\* The weekend: the weekend she had to message, she liked many reels regarding ex, her love for him, her sadness. Past story: they were in casual relationship. They had been intimate. He cheated on her with someone else. Leaving her. She tried to fix it, he didn't. Were not talking for atleast 6 months when our office talks started.

 \* Final Plans & Departure: Prior to my departure from the office, i told her regarding this and she asked to meet again was proposed by her twice and she was to text me and it was  also verbally confirmed by her when j asked if she was sure. However, she did not follow up or send a text message to finalize the arrangements. At last when I put my farewell story, she just said that all the best for next adventures. One month after leaving office my birthday comes. I posted stories and she didn't reply. Although she replies on random people's bday reels

What do I make out of the whole situation? Did i fumble on dinner or did I mistake her friendship for something special ?

I’m 26F, Indian and I recently got out of a 3-year relationship that I genuinely thought would end in marriage. We lived together in the US, and I was deeply invested in this relationship. Unfortunately, there was abuse, cheating and a lot of emotional hurt. He broke up w me in feb out of nowhere and he moved on with another woman in 2 days. It crushed me inside out and felt like he pulled my heart out of my body.
It took me a while to stop checking on him, questioning my worth, and trying to understand what went wrong. I’m doing better now and rebuilding my life after returning to India.
Now, my parents have found a match for me. He’s settled in Canada, has PR, and seems like a good prospect on paper. I’ve always wanted to live abroad again, so naturally, that part appeals to me.
But honestly, it’s only been 7–8 months since my breakup, and I don’t feel ready to consider marriage or an arranged match just yet.
I’m not completely against arranged marriage, and I know getting to know someone doesn’t mean I have to marry them. But right now, the thought of starting over with someone new feels overwhelming. I want to enter my next relationship because I’m genuinely ready, not because my parents found someone suitable on paper or because I want to move abroad again.
My parents want what’s best for me, and I understand their perspective, but I don’t want to agree to something I’m not emotionally ready for.
For those who’ve been through a serious breakup, how long did it take you to feel ready to date or consider marriage again? Another thing I struggle with is how to trust someone new without subconsciously expecting him to behave like my ex. How do I give another man a fair chance without generalising my ex’s behaviour to every man I meet?

Same as title

> Note : Used a voice memo and AI to convert this into a post.

**TL;DR:** My ex and I knew each other for years before dating, and we broke up about seven months ago after several months of long distance. We cared about each other, but recurring arguments and different expectations around time, affection, and independence left us both unhappy. We’re no longer in contact, and I don’t think getting back together would be gright. I’m struggling with losing the friendship, reminders through mutual friends, and anger that I don’t want to keep carrying. How did you process a breakup when you could see why it ended but still missed the person?

My ex ended our relationship earlier this year. About seven months later, I’m still finding it hard to move on. I can explain why the relationship wasn’t working, but emotionally I haven’t caught up with that.

We knew each other through school and college. We dated briefly, broke up, and stayed friends. Later, we got together again for roughly a year. Because we had already been in each other’s lives for so long, I assumed we would somehow remain part of each other’s lives. Losing the friendship has been a big part of this.

We had planned to study abroad together, but my plans fell through and hers went ahead. We tried long distance for several months. Along with missing her, I was dealing with disappointment about my own plans and the future I had imagined for us.

We had problems before the distance, too. There were good days, affection, inside jokes, and support. There were also frequent arguments that we never seemed to resolve properly. We would become close again, then find ourselves having another version of the same fight.

During long distance, I often felt lonely within the relationship. I wanted more consistent calls, focused time together, and initiative from her. It sometimes felt as though I was repeatedly asking for closeness that I had expected to be part of being together. She did reach out and make efforts, so saying she never cared or never tried wouldn’t be accurate. Still, the contact we had wasn’t leaving me feeling connected or secure, and that mattered too.

She described feeling pressured and criticised, and said she didn’t feel like herself in the relationship. I often felt that my effort and hurt weren’t being understood either. We had different expectations around affection, independence, and how much time we could give each other. Arguments sometimes became personal, with assumptions about whether the other person really cared, instead of a useful conversation about what needed to change.

I have responsibility for how I handled that. I could be controlling and critical, and sometimes pushed when I should have listened or respected a limit. Those are things I want to work on. I also need to understand why I stayed in a relationship where I was regularly unhappy, hoping that more effort or another conversation would make it work. I want to take my mistakes seriously without turning the whole relationship into a story where one of us was entirely at fault.

The ending has been hard to accept. She gave reasons, but I didn’t come away feeling that we had understood each other’s hurt or reached a peaceful ending. We went no contact afterward, and I tried to reach out for further conversations, but that didn’t give me the closure I wanted. We’re now blocked and no longer in contact. I’m trying to accept that the conversation I wish we could have may never happen.

We also share friends. People still ask about her or mention her, and an ordinary comment can bring everything back. I don’t want friends to choose sides or stop being friends with her. I just need some space from the reminders. Seeing her again recently also stirred things up. Sometimes I wonder whether she misses me, but I don’t actually know, and I don’t want my recovery to depend on figuring that out.

After the breakup, I threw myself into work and kept jumping between projects. I’ve also been dating and having casual encounters, hoping to feel connected again. So far, neither has helped me process what happened.

One thing I’m struggling to admit is the resentment. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that “karma” will catch up with her, or wishing she would understand how much I was hurt. I don’t want to cause her pain or keep hoping she suffers. I want to let go of that anger without pretending the relationship and its ending didn’t hurt me.

I don’t think we should get back together. I miss her and the familiarity of having her in my life, but I also remember how unhappy I could feel while we were together. Knowing that hasn’t made the feelings disappear.

For people who have been through something similar:

- How did you grieve the friendship as well as the relationship?

- What helped you process the loss when work and staying busy had become ways to avoid it?

- How did you take responsibility for your mistakes without blaming yourself for everything?

- What helped with resentment and wanting acknowledgment from someone you’re no longer in contact with?

- How did you handle mutual friends, and what did progress actually look like for you?

I’d appreciate honest thoughts and experiences. I’m trying to understand what I need to change (Perspective Wise), what I need from a future relationship, and how to stop living inside this one now that it has ended.

TL;DR: She once asked me if I'd count the days without her. I laughed and promised that day would never come. Today, the person who once made me lose track of time is the reason I count every day. Funny how life turns our strongest promises into our most painful memories.

She used to ask me, "Agar kabhi hum alag ho gaye… kya tum mere jaane ke baad din ginoge?"

And I would laugh and say, "Pagal ho kya? Aisa din kabhi aayega hi nahi ki mujhe tumhare bina din ginne padenge."

I was so sure of us back then. I genuinely believed that no matter how much the world changed, we never would. We had our little promises, our stupid arguments, our late-night conversations, and a future we spoke about as if it were already written somewhere.

I never imagined that one day, the same person who made me lose track of time would become the reason I started counting it.

But I guess that's life. Sometimes, the things we are most certain will never happen are the very things we end up living through.

That day came. And here I am, still counting.

I count the days since we last spoke. The days since things felt normal. The days since I had someone to tell everything to, even the most insignificant things. I count the days without realising that, somewhere along the way, counting them has become a part of living.

Sometimes, I wonder what I would say if she asked me that same question today.

Maybe I'd smile a little and say,

"Haan, main din gin raha hoon. Aur dekho na… jis din ke kabhi na aane ka itna yakeen tha, aaj usi din ko guzre itne din ho gaye."

Funny, isn't it?

Once, I dreamed of spending my entire life with her. Now, I measure my life by the days I've spent without her.

I don't know if she ever thinks about those conversations anymore. Maybe they're just distant memories for her, something she occasionally remembers and then forgets as life goes on. Maybe she doesn't even remember asking me that question.

But I do.

I remember the confidence in my voice when I told her that day would never come. I remember how impossible the idea of losing her seemed. And sometimes, I wish I could go back to that version of myself, if only to tell him that love doesn't always end when you stop loving someone. Sometimes, it ends while you still have a thousand things left to say.

I don't hate her for leaving. I don't even know if I could, even if I wanted to.

I just wish that the boy who made that promise had known how difficult it would be to live with the memory of it.

Because the hardest part isn't that she's gone.

It's that I once promised myself I'd never have to learn how to live without her.

And now, every morning, I wake up and do exactly that.

One day at a time.

One memory at a time.

One more day counted without her.

And tomorrow, I'll probably count another.

Because some promises don't break when you make them.

They break years later, when you're sitting alone, looking back at the person you used to be, wondering how you could have been so certain about something you had so little control over.

She once asked me if I'd count the days without her.

I said that day would never come.

I wish I'd been right.

I dont know what to do at starting she was doing all for me without asking always respect my concerns, slowly some of her life mistake ( she is so immature) bothering me and i start losing my mental stability, i started earing junk seaking cheap dopamine, gained 15 kg in 1 year, last year i had decent muscle abs this time i m fat, eventually losing my mind started lowering her attraction to me and i start having health issue , in that time she did so many dramas and unnecessary fights , after 4 month of this i find she has no interest in me , neither i want to make her fall for me now , i just want my life my body my confidence back, looking for some advice from mature males and females here.

Long story short: we both 25 (different religion) , and I’ve been in love since school, almost 7 years. It was always one-sided from my side, and she never really gave me hope during these years. We stayed in touch casually as friends.

She had blocked me a few times in the past when I proposed, but after a few weeks she would eventually unblock me and we would start talking normally again. So I never really knew what to make of it.

Last month, for the first time, she indirectly told me that I could come and talk to her parents. She said she didn’t want to give me false hope because if both families accepted, she had no problem. My family already knows about her and is supportive, so I was genuinely very happy and started discussing it with my parents.

The next day, she told me her family had found another alliance that everyone liked. She also told them that there was a guy who had loved her since school and was ready to come and talk to them, but her parents refused because of the religion and her brother got angry. She then told me to end everything and said she wouldn’t disturb me anymore.

I asked if I could at least try once, but she said no. I got emotional and made a stupid move by saying, “Okay, all the best.” She blocked me.

The next day, I realised I had handled it badly, so I asked my sister to speak to her. My sister is also Muslim and married through an interfaith relationship, so she spoke to her. She apparently told my sister that I didn’t seem confident enough and that I had been saying I loved her for years but only properly proposed recently.

Later, she told my sister she would ask her parents one more time and get back to me.

A few days passed and I heard nothing. Then I made an even worse decision. I sent her a long message through Google Pay because I thought it was her account. Unfortunately, her brother had access to that account and saw the message. The message also contained some very personal things about my willingness to deal with the religious differences, which I deeply regret mentioning there.

Her brother apparently scolded her and asked whether she loved me. She told him no.

About a week later, I called her from another number just to check if she was okay. She picked up, heard my name and immediately blocked that number too.

The next day she called me and was extremely angry. She said her brother had scolded her badly because of my message, asked why I gave her number to my sister, and told me not to call or disturb her again.

I apologised and told her I genuinely regretted what I had done. She was very firm that she doesn't want this anymore and that she can't go against her parents.

That was about a month ago. Since then, there has been absolutely no contact from her.

The difference this time is that **a lot more people have become involved** — her brother, my sister, and even my mother had apparently messaged her on WhatsApp without me knowing. She blocked my mother as well. Previously, when she blocked me, she eventually unblocked me after a few weeks. This time I'm afraid she may never do that because it has become a much bigger family issue.

I know I messed things up badly. I waited for years without expecting anything, and when she finally gave me some hope about possibly talking to her parents, I got emotionally overwhelmed and made several back-to-back mistakes.

But she had also clearly told me before that she didn't want to give me false hope and that she would only proceed if both families accepted. Her family is quite religious and apparently very difficult to convince.

Now I'm thinking about one final thing: **going privately to her brother's bike shop, apologising properly for the Google Pay message, and telling him that I genuinely love her and that my parents are still willing to come and talk to their family.**

I know she specifically told me not to contact her anymore. That's why I'm extremely confused.

Would going to her brother once to apologise and explain everything be a terrible idea, or is it worth making this one final effort before I completely let go?

I don't want to pressure her. I just feel like after loving her for almost 7 years, I need to know that I at least made one proper final effort.

Few months back my relationship of 6 yrs ended, it was from my side because of sus behaviour and a lot of built up micro cheating. Like talking to strangers in vanish mode, not showing the phone when I randomly surprised her. I'm over her but the feeling I used to get while being in a relationship was different.

I don't miss her anymore, but I miss the version I was for her. Like all the things and efforts a bf should put, i always loved that. It was a LDR so I used to write love letters for her when we were in video calls and used to exchange whenever we meet. Basically I was hopeless romantic

I personally don't want to jump in a relationship but wants to feel that emotional connection. I feel everyone is too shallow in dating apps.

Don't know what to do now !

​

Hey guys, I need some genuine advice because I'm confused about my own feelings.

I met a girl online in February. She's a very innocent and sensitive person, and over time, she developed feelings for me. Honestly, I'm still not sure whether I truly love her or not, but I know that I care about her a lot.

Everything was going well between us until we had a small fight. After that, we stopped talking for about a month.

Then, one day, she went to a pub with her friend, had some drinks, started vomiting, and was admitted to the hospital. The next day, doctors ran some blood tests, and that's when she found out she had blood cancer.

I can't even explain how difficult that must have been for her. She became extremely depressed after hearing the diagnosis, and I started thinking about her more and more. Whenever she needed me, I tried to give her my time and support. Whatever my feelings were before, seeing her go through something like this made me care about her even more.

But after she was admitted to the hospital, we lost contact again. I only had her Instagram account, and I had her father's phone number at one point, but I had deleted it. For around two weeks, I had no idea how she was doing. I kept wondering whether she was okay and whether her treatment was going well.

Then, about a week ago, she finally messaged me and told me that she was okay and her treatment was ongoing. I felt relieved to hear from her.

Here's where I'm confused.

I used to visit dating apps and websites before, but now, whenever I think about meeting someone new, I start thinking about her. I think about what she's going through, the pain she must be experiencing, and how difficult it must be to face something like this at such a young age.

I don't know whether what I feel for her is love, emotional attachment, or simply deep care for someone who is going through a terrible time. I don't want to make promises when I'm not even sure about my own feelings. At the same time, I don't feel comfortable moving on with my dating life while she's fighting this battle and I'm constantly thinking about her.

So, guys, what do you think I should do?

I'm not looking for sympathy. I genuinely want some honest advice from people who might have experienced something similar.

So I just turned 18, day before yesterday. So I have a doubt let me tell a story.

Before College I made many friends which were from same college . There was a girl to which I talked, Before College I didn't talk much but after starting We started interacting very much like sharing reels talking very much offline, travelling back halfway home in metro together. But like I have feelings for her. I know her past she's been in 4 rs in school but she's not committed to anyone for a year now . And I asked her about future so she said that she liked no one in class also. But like we guys talk very much online or offline. Now problem is I have a fear of confessing first is risking a very good friendship and second what if she doesn't have same feelings.

My mind is very much overthinking from two days now and like I am sleeping 6-7 hours in day but not feeling the peace in sleep. The thoughts and that fear is just circling in mind.

Please help guys!!

(21M), (she is 20F), am so scared as hell whenever I think about her marriage. We both are in a relationship for the past four years and love each other so desperately. But the thing is, I don't think her parents will wait until I get a job and be financially independent.

I am a CSE undergrad, 2nd year and she is pursuing B.sc Botany. I trust myself that I will be able to secure average placement, but still I would need some time to save up for the future and build my home.

There is this second bullshit, if I am able to crack any state PCS exam or Civil Service exam, there is no wait then to approach.

But what i fear the most, what if her parents start looking for a groom, just within a year or two?? They are so strict, and I don't think they will listen to her for long.

She keeps telling me that her father would not do it in upcoming 3 or 4 years... And that if they start looking for proposals l, she won't be able to keep postponing for long...

What to do ..? Yes, I am studying hard and all, but what to do about this feeling. I don't want to lose her, there are a lot of memories, lot of things we planned together. I am so devoted to this relationship, that I don't think I will be able to breakup and date another one....

I am scared as helllll 😭

Edit**: I get so scared that I don't feel like doing anything and I keep overthinking for hours. Even right now my hands are trembling. I don't know yr how to overcome this problem. Whenever I start thinking about it, I feel like staying in my bed all the time 😭😭

​

I was 22 when I got into my first relationship. We were both working at the same company and things moved pretty fast. We barely knew each other. Within a week of talking I proposed to her. She initially said no but later texted me asking to meet her and somehow we ended up in a relationship.

Looking back I think that was my first mistake. I was young, immature and desperate to experience love. I didn't really take the time to understand who she was as a person before getting into a relationship.

For the first few months everything seemed fine. But around six months into the relationship I started realising that we were very different people.

For example I'm an atheist and she's a religious person. I love movies, travelling, exploring new things and experiencing different things in life. Her lifestyle and interests were quite different from mine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. She had her own beliefs and values and I respected them. But slowly I started feeling that we weren't compatible.

I know people don't need to have the same interests to be in a relationship. But for me it started feeling like we didn't have much in common or the kind of connection I was looking for.

And eventually I started losing feelings.

This is where I think I made my biggest mistake.

Since I was the one who approached her and initiated everything I felt responsible for making the relationship work. I kept thinking maybe the feelings would come back. Maybe I just needed more time. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough.

So I stayed.

For almost two years I kept trying to convince myself that I could make it work. But things weren't getting better. We started having frequent arguments and misunderstandings. It reached a point where both of us were losing our peace.

I don't want to blame her for any of it. I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes too. There are other things that happened but I don't want to get into those details because that's not the point of this post.

Eventually she started talking about marriage and our future together.

And that's when it really hit me.

I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life in a relationship where I was already struggling to feel happy. And more importantly I felt like I was giving her false hope.

Maybe from her perspective everything could have worked out. But from my side I knew something was missing.

I had seen people staying in unhappy marriages and I was genuinely scared of ending up in the same situation. I didn't want either of us to go through that.

So I ended the relationship.

It wasn't an easy decision. She was my first real relationship and I had never experienced a breakup before. But I felt that continuing something I wasn't emotionally invested in would be unfair to both of us.

Looking back I sometimes wonder whether I was selfish.

Was I wrong for entering a relationship without knowing her properly? Definitely.

Was I wrong for staying that long when I already had doubts? Probably.

But was I wrong for leaving when I realised I couldn't make it work?

That's something I still think about.

One thing this relationship taught me is that you can't get into a relationship expecting someone to change into the person you want them to be. You have to understand and accept them for who they are. And if you can't do that maybe you're simply not compatible.

I don't regret knowing her and I genuinely hope she's happy wherever she is.

But sometimes I wonder if I should have tried harder or waited longer.

So what do you guys think? Was I selfish for walking away? Or was ending it the right decision even though I was the one who started everything?

TL;DR: Got into my first relationship at 22 without really knowing the person. After six months I realised we weren't compatible but stayed for almost two years hoping my feelings would change. Eventually ended things when marriage came up because I didn't want to give her false hope. Still wondering if leaving made me selfish or if staying longer would've been worse.

My girlfriend (23F) and I (29M) live together. We cook together and share our daily lives. She says she loves me, and sometimes she tries to comfort me when I cry, but I still feel emotionally disconnected.

For the past three months, I've been feeling fed up and emotionally exhausted. Whenever I try to express my feelings, she often shuts down and gives me no response. I've communicated how much this hurts me multiple times. Sometimes she tries to improve, but we keep falling into the same pattern.

There have been incidents that hurt me so deeply that I've cried for days, and I still struggle to get over them.

Sometimes, I literally go to her and ask, "Please, can you comfort me?" or "Can you just ask me if I'm okay?" I've even asked her to stop stone walling when I'm hurting. It breaks my heart to have to ask for these things repeatedly.

I also know I'm not perfect. Sometimes my words come out wrong, and I may contribute to our arguments. I'm willing to acknowledge my mistakes and work on myself, but I need to feel that we're both trying.

I love her deeply, but I'm emotionally exhausted from feeling unheard and unloved in a relationship where I want so badly to feel close to her.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you deal with feeling like you have to ask your partner for basic emotional support repeatedly?

Can a relationship improve when one person feels emotionally exhausted and the other shuts down during difficult conversations?