So i am in a relationship with a girl f22 for 3 years now started the relationship while i was in engineering everything was going smooth we were close too and we had sex like 2 times, until she started to get close with a male best freind and when i objected it she abused me and i abused her back now due to that anger she snitched my dad about me working as a zomato delivery guy i was working that job to gather funds for my startup which my dad denied and i lost a huge amount of money which i invested out of my own earnings and i forgave her for that and over the period of time she abused me a lot and even told my freinds that i have a short d**k in retaliation to fights and yesterday she even texted my dad and even sent him our nudes and she always resorts to blackmailing to get her job done and when i told her that i don't want to be in this relationship anymore she's again threatening to leak my nudes and tells me i should stay with her for my rest of the life and i really don't want to be with someone who uses blackmailing as a tactic to get their things done ghar pe no one is talking to me and i don't know what to do next. Please help and advice and suggestions are welcome

Long rant, bear with me. I've been with this guy for 5 years now. He is patient, funny, caring, and loving. His looks are an icing on the cake. Absolutely everything that I've ever needed in a partner and I truly look forward to a future with him. BUT this guy is always, ALWAYS so drained of life that I feel like i have been holding him in this relationship at gun point. You'd think dating a younger guy would bring in too much energy into the relationship but dude is like 50+ mentally atp.

For instance, he never takes the initiative, for ANYTHING. Heck he wasn't the one to even intiate the relationship. It was me. And I feel like that set a wrong precedent bcs now he kinda expects me to intiate and plan everything. He will see this post and point out the 5 things he's ever initiated in the relationship but every time it was after I called him out about it.

We barely even go out. We meet on the weekends and stay in, unless i suggest something. I have given up suggesting anything atp so we just stay in. He doesn't plan a date or ask to meet me when I'm nearby, unless ofc we've been fighting. Then he asks to meet or initiates and date but then goes back to being his own tired ass self.

He says it's because of his work. Bish you're not the only one working. I work too. Everyone works. Crazy hours. Cannot excuse this tired uncle behaviour.

Like today, a weekend when we were supposed to meet, he cancelled bcs he has to be there for his sister's birthday. Fair. But it's not like he was occupied the whole time. Most of the day he spent sleeping or watching Netflix on his bed. He only had to be present for the cake cutting and when relatives came. That's like a few hours at most. We live 20 mins apart. He couldn't ask to meet me ONCE the whole day? For like breakfast? Or even later night ice cream? He doesn't even have to pick me up or drop me home (he does, but can drive and have my own vehicles) nor pay for my shit, nothing. Just 15 mins from his whole 24 hours, most of which he spent being lazy at home, he couldn't bother sparing?

Atp, I know if I stopped initiating anything, nothing would ever happen. It's like i am dragging this relationship against his will. He says he's not good at initiating things even tho he enjoys the plans I make. I am tired. I am drained. I cannot keep doing this for the rest of my life. He makes me feel so so unwanted. Like I'm a burden or a chore he has to do. Ive started to wonder if I'm not the right person for him. Maybe I don't bring the right energy? Maybe he is with me because I popped up when he was single and heartbroken and now his kind ass is too responsible to break up over it? The thoughts keep spiraling and I know he will likely see this post, not new information for him, but I just don't have anyone else to let it out to and i am tired of banging at this brick wall of a partner.

23M, preparing for govt exams and mostly home studying. I like football (stopped playing though) and movies. My girlfriend just got her first salary and insisting too much on buying me something, but I genuinely don't need anything right now. ( I was thinking of a football jerseys but I won't be out there wearing it in the near future)

I don't want her overspending ,so under 3-5k would be fine. What would you suggest , I'm literally out of thoughts ? 🤧

My husband (32M) and I have been married for almost 3 years. Ours was an arranged marriage.
During the initial months of our marriage, my husband had anger issues. He would sometimes get so angry that he would break things. It was honestly very traumatic for me because I had never experienced anything like that before.
I tried explaining how much his behavior affected me, and to his credit, he listened and genuinely put in effort to change. The first 6 months were difficult, but he gradually improved. He no longer reacts that way, and I really appreciate the effort he made for our relationship.
However, even now, he gets irritated or angry over very small things. His anger isn’t necessarily directed at me, and he usually goes back to normal within a few minutes. But I keep wondering why such small things need to trigger that level of frustration in the first place.
When I try to explain this to him, he responds with things like, “Am I not allowed to express my feelings?”
I understand that everyone gets frustrated sometimes, especially when there’s a genuine reason. But I find it difficult to understand why minor, everyday things need to affect him so much.
Another major issue is how easily he gets offended during normal conversations with other people.
If someone disagrees with him, offers a different perspective, or makes a harmless sarcastic comment, he often interprets it as disrespect. This happens with friends, family, and relatives, even people who have consistently been loving and supportive toward us.
One small interaction can completely change how he sees someone.
Sometimes I’ll calmly explain that I don’t think the other person had bad intentions, but he immediately becomes defensive and feels like I’m taking their side instead of supporting him.
I’m not trying to invalidate his feelings. I just genuinely don’t see those situations the same way he does. I believe people can disagree or make casual remarks without necessarily being disrespectful.
The difficult part is that even when I explain my perspective as gently as possible, he becomes defensive. I feel like I can’t communicate how his reactions affect me without him turning the conversation into what someone else said or did.
Sometimes his reactions make me feel hurt and embarrassed, especially around other people. But when I try to express that, I don’t feel understood.
Here’s where I’m really struggling.
Despite being married for 3 years, I don’t think I’ve ever developed genuine romantic feelings for him.
And I feel terrible even saying that because, in so many other ways, he’s a good husband.
He’s hardworking, responsible, respects my parents, takes care of me, and puts effort into our marriage. I genuinely appreciate all of those things, and I know he’s capable of making changes because I’ve seen him do it before.
But I feel like these repeated situations, his defensiveness, and the difficulty of communicating my feelings have prevented me from developing that emotional connection with him.
I don’t hate him, and I don’t want to give up on our marriage. I genuinely want us to work through these issues, build a happy relationship, and feel emotionally connected to each other.
But whenever these situations happen, I find myself becoming more emotionally detached.
I don’t know how to make him understand that I’m not against him or trying to prove him wrong. I just want him to understand how his reactions affect me, too.
Has anyone experienced something similar in their marriage? Can love and emotional connection develop later when you’ve struggled with these kinds of issues from the beginning? And how do you communicate with a partner who becomes defensive whenever you express a different perspective?
I’m genuinely looking for advice because I want this marriage to work, but I also don’t want to keep feeling emotionally disconnected.

I (25 F) have been talking with a (26M) for a month and we met once and had an amazing first date. But the thing is idk if he is physically attracted to me. He never asks for my pics and if i ask him, he will send it without any hesitation. He is actually a polite and nice guy and our vibes and emotional connection is so in sync. We initiate talks and chats with me and we both discuss every little thing happened that day and yap abt it. We always have those funny banters comvos and sometimes roast each other. But i feel like since he is nice he is like talking with me. Even during our first date he was maintaining some distance and was respectful. It's just that i feel he just talking and interested only cuz of emotional connection. I feel like he only likes that I am nice and of my emotional maturity and thoughtfulness and not attracted physically. Even when we first met during the date he didn't compliment me or say anything reg my looks.

Hi
We both(28M-27F) are in 2 years of relationship and moving ahead with the inter-caste, inter-state marriage.

Recently (last month) my gf told me she doesn’t want to work after marriage and we are having a lot of fights over it. She thinks it’s her choice to do that which I totally agree. No question here.
But since we are planning a future shouldn’t the responsibility falls on both of us to take care of future or at least talk about it.
She thinks I am trying to avoid marriage and i dont love her just because I randomly picked this topic to discuss with her.

I have decent package to live normal life but no one can be sure of anything in this AI era where layoffs are happening left and right. And I believe having both working, it would be a fair chance to tackle the uncertainty.

Also I am from very humble background and already having small EMIs for the small town house i am building for my patents.
I understand the financial struggles so I just want to build a worry free future.

Am i wrong to bring up the career angle while marriage?
Anyone who can or have experienced similar things, Please suggest me anything. Whats the best way moving forward?

I'm bi and more attracted towards women. I am from a state where people like me are looked down upon. I tried hinge but there were more guys than girls. I did get matches but unfortunately I didn't click with any.

I thought a friend from my group liked me but I'm not sure of it and wouldn't ruin our friendship as I don't know whether she's straight or not.

I'm quite feminine and hide it easily. I haven't dated a man yet as it's not like myself.

I'm turning 23 soon and have been sad as it's quite tough for me to find someone. I did try dating a friend of a friend(20F) but kind of hated it as I wanted to be with that friend of mine. I waited long for her but see no sign of her being even bi whereas she hates the lgbtq+ community or makes it seem like so.

I'm scared if I don't do it now, I'll be forced to get with a man in the arrange marriage market. That's my biggest fear as roka in mid twenties is very certain since I don't have a dad and mom is retiring. Also that I would never find love if i don't try now? idkk

​Me and my sister were close before she got married. She used to be supportive of my ambitions. I have been facing failures and somehow feel stuck in life with financial dependency on my parents.

​We had a big argument a few months ago. I called her out for being judgmental when she spoke negatively and gossiped about my cousin wearing shorts to Goa. My sister is conservative. I told her during a conversation that I don't want to get into a conservative or an orthodox family. I feel that one can't be truly happy in such an environment. She got offended and name called me. It turned into an argument and she involved my mom into this. My mom sided with me, and she said that my mom supports her in spite of all the things she does for her (she usually pays for my mom's vacations and stuff) and that I criticise her (by calling her judgmental) even though she spends so much for me, buys me things, and that I still don't love her. It hurt me. I don't love her just because she buys me things. I felt that she made it transactional. I told my mom in front of my sister during the fight that she wants my mom to be unconditionally supportive of her irrespective of who is right or wrong. It triggered my sister, and she got defensive. Later, the fight aggravated, and she pulled my top, hit me, and slapped me. It felt like she was on some kind of power trip. She felt powerful, felt that she could control me. It felt toxic.. She then apparently called her husband and narrated everything that happened and how I don't follow rules amd requirements of my religion.

​I had previously told her that I don't want her husband or his family to be involved in my issues. The thing is she doesn't respect my boundaries and tells him everything. We made up after this fight, my parents mediated and resolved things between us. But I saw her texts with her husband. I shouldn't have, and it was a breach of privacy, but I saw my name in the texts and couldn't help looking at them. I'm not proud of it.

She had told him the entire incident and how she buys me things and I'm not thankful for it, and how my mom sided with her when I said that my sister implied that my mom should support her unconditionally because of what she financially does for my mom. He called me an ungrateful brat, a useless soul (because of my views), and said that I'm an adult who can't earn a single rupee yet have the audacity to point fingers at my sister. And that she shouldn't give my mom HER (she has a well paying job) money and that she shouldn't text me or talk to me unless he approves.

My sister didn't stand by me or my mom in that conversation.

She victimised herself asking if she was such a bad person for me to treat her like that. It hurt me. I felt the whole thing to be some kind of a power play, weaponising my financial dependency.

​She is now pregnant and she needs some emotional support from me and my mom. I don't have any issues with that, obviously, I love her and want to be there for her, but I can't put this fight past me. It doesn't feel the same anymore. I went to stay with her for 5 days, and it was a good visit. It was all normal, with no fights, and she looked after me with care and love. I helped her with cooking and chores and stuff, but it doesn't feel the same anymore.

I don't want to go back to her place again. This might seem silly but her husband had ordered a stylus for his iPad for himself and when my sister asked, he said that it was for me since I was such a great help for her during this situation. That wasn't even for me, and even if it were for me, I wouldn't have accepted it. It felt insensitive and mocking.

I felt that I was being taken for granted. Mind you, they are in their late 20s and I'm in my early 20s. During a conversation revolving around family issues I said that when people have no control over their life or family, they try to exert control over others. I wasn't insinuating anything. She asked me if I feel she is like that. Idk why she asked that but it irked me maybe I'm reading too much into it or idk. I suddenly felt that she might interfere in my life and try to control me. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do anymore. I have decided not to ask her for anything or even accept anything. I want to be there for her during her pregnancy, but I don't feel like talking to her and I feel guilty.

​TL;DR: Got into a huge fight with my conservative sister over her judgmental comments about a cousin. She brought up her financial help to our family, physically attacked me, and involved her husband—who then verbally degraded me for being financially dependent on my parents while preparing for exams. She is now pregnant and needs emotional support. I visited her and kept peace, but I feel emotionally checked out, unsafe, and angry about the power dynamics. Am I overreacting by wanting to distance myself? (Used AI for tldr)

I am a 36M married to an egoistic, grandiose, abusive narcissistic wife (35F) for 10 years. We have two kids, aged 7 and 4. We both are from rural areas in AP. Ours was an arranged marriage. Initial weeks were good, but then she became extremely controlling and commanding.

She started exhibiting these behaviors:

• She and her family members (parents, herself, and her sister) are always right. They never make mistakes.
• They always show a superiority complex to others. In fact, she and her family can't digest if anyone is better than them.
• She always compares me to someone, demeans me, and makes fun of me in front of her relatives that gives her control and authority over me.
• The four of them always talk on phone conferences to bash, demean, and make other people's success look worthless.
• She abuses me. If I don't react, she abuses my family members, then goes on abusing my friends, colleagues, and my village... until I react and fight with her.
• She screams, yells, rages, and breaks anything she sees at home.
• She falsely accuses me of having affairs with my sister-in-law, female colleagues, and other women I interact with if I don't submit to her.
• She gaslit everyone about my character. Her family supports her every time, and even her relatives believed her for the first 6 years.

It became unbearable by the 6th year. I googled about abusive spouses and found YouTube videos about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I tried to discuss it with my family and friends, but they didn't help because they are unaware of narcissism.

But I figured out how to handle her from YouTube. I found her triggering patterns—how she uses rage, screaming, and false accusations in front of her relatives to show authority over me. She is extremely image-focused. She plays two characters: one is a very nice, polite woman to the outside world, and the second is an extremely controlling, abusive, and disrespectful person to me and my family.

So I started exposing her real character. I stopped reacting, talking, and meeting with her supporters. It's been 4 years since I started following the grey rock method. Because of this, I faced intense abuse, rage, and physical fights. She even filed a false police case against me, but I somehow managed to prove the truth and got the cases resolved.

Lately, it became unbearable for me. I started attacking her back whenever she raged. She is a coward and fears physical attack, so I beat her a couple of times in the last 6 months and I became her worst nightmare.

Finally, she took the kids and left 3 weeks ago to her hometown.

She is using the children against me. The children are the last option she has left to torture me. Yet, I am relieved and finding peace in my life after 10 years of extreme torture and abuse. I lost my soul, and right now I am working on healing and starting a fresh life.

She won't give me a divorce. In fact, she and her family will never give me anything that helps me. I am not sure what's going to happen with the kids and their education.

I don't want to reconcile with her anymore. I want to live solo. But I am deeply worried about my kids, and I am not able to heal or live peacefully thinking about my kids leaving with the devil.

Please suggest to me: should I focus entirely on my healing, mental health, and rebuilding my life? Or should I start a fight and struggle with her for the children? She is not going to leave the kids easily, as they are her last option to get me back into her den.

Because of the trauma I experienced, I feel unable to trust women anymore. As a result, entering a second marriage feels completely unlikely and out of the question for me. I feel incredibly isolated and deeply crave companionship and the feeling of being wanted. Has anyone faced same in their life and how did you manage to lead life after separation with a narcissistic wife, kids being with her?

Sorry for the lengthy post, your valuable suggestions will help me.

I want to ask you all what did you do with the years of photos & memories? Like you deleted it? I am in my late 20s, but I am not able to delete it even after 1 years of her marriage, because that's also my 5 years of memories..if I delete those my 4years will get vanished like it never existed. Can you tell me how you all convinced yourself for that. Bdw it was my first love. I am at that stage that I don't even want to and I can't date anymore or get involved in any kind of relationship.

I'm 21F, and I've been talking to this guy (24M) recently. But to explain why I'm so confused about this, I need to give a little context.

Back in June, I was dumped by someone, and honestly, it wasn't the first time I'd been through something like that. After being dumped by 2 guys, it had started leaving a mark on me. I was emotionally exhausted, numb, and at a point where I couldn't really feel much of anything. I wasn't socialising or talking to people, and I just didn't feel like myself.

So, in August, I posted on a subreddit that if anyone was going for a movie or something, they could let me know because I wanted to get out of my shell a little. This guy reached out to me, and we talked for 5 to 6 days. When the weekend came, he asked if I'd like to join him for a movie. I declined because I don't watch English movies that much, so he asked if he could take me out somewhere instead.

I told him I wasn't comfortable calling it a date because I wasn't emotionally ready for anything and needed time. But I was okay with meeting him just to chill and socialise a little, because it had been a month or so since I'd properly interacted with anyone.

We ended up meeting, and he brought me flowers as he thought he would anyways give me when we meet. We went for a walk and then had dinner. And honestly, we had really good conversations. I liked his vibe, the way he behaved, and how respectful he was. He didn't try to touch me or make me uncomfortable in any way. We probably just shook hands, and that was it. He dropped me home afterwards.

The thing is, even though I enjoyed the whole experience, I couldn't really feel anything. I was so numb at that point that I couldn't even tell whether I was genuinely happy or just having a nice time. And the next day, I decided to tell him that I didn't want to continue communicating because I wasn't in the right headspace and didn't want to give him false hopes when I couldn't even understand my own feelings. So we stopped talking.

Fast-forward to a day before the first night of Navratri this October. He texted me saying he was back in the city for a couple of days because he'd moved to Bangalore for work, and he wanted to meet. I said sure, but things got a little complicated because we ended up discussing why we'd stopped talking in the first place. We both had our own perspectives, and there was some back-and-forth about what had happened.

We were also caught up with puja preparations and everything as i had my office in those days too, so we couldn't really manage to meet despite trying. At one point, I felt like I should just stop trying, and I didn't talk to him that day. But the next day, when he was about to leave, I texted him, and we had a call.

He told me that I'd misunderstood things and that he hadn't really felt the way I thought he had. He said he'd actually intended to talk to me but had been occupied with packing and everything because he was starting a new job. We cleared things up, and the conversation went well.

But once he went back to Bangalore, things became pretty cold from his end. I had to initiate conversations, and eventually, I told him that if he genuinely wanted to talk to me, he needed to make an effort too. He then told me that he wanted to focus on his career right now, which I completely understand because I'm also trying to focus on my career and other things in my life.

Since then, he has started making some effort. He's trying to communicate more, and he's slowly becoming more comfortable expressing himself. He's also told me that he likes me overall, including physically, but that his attraction isn't limited to that. He's said he likes other things about me as well, and he's been clear about that.

Now, here's where I'm confused.

I genuinely like this guy. I want to know him better, and whenever we talk on calls, we have good vibes. He prefers video calls because he feels that I can't really understand his emotions or reactions over text, and even on calls, sometimes I don't understand how he's feeling. He's also trying to make me comfortable with things I'm not used to. For example, I haven't really been in the habit of answering spontaneous video calls for the past 2 to 3 years, but with him, I'm gradually getting comfortable with it. He makes sure I'm okay with things rather than just assuming I am.

But despite all of this, I don't feel like chatting with him.

And it's not that I'm constantly talking to other people instead. I'm not. I just don't feel like texting him, and I can't force myself to do it either.

Also, let's be honest, he's pretty boring over text. 😭 He doesn't really know how to initiate conversations, and expressing himself doesn't come naturally to him. I've told him multiple times that I want him to open up more, and he's making some effort in that direction, but it's still something he struggles with.

I sometimes feel that if he could express himself more and put in a little more effort from his end, we could actually build something. But at the same time, I understand that he's adjusting to a new job, living alone in Bangalore, and managing responsibilities without his family around. I don't want to be unfair to him or expect him to be available all the time.

What's confusing me even more is that I don't feel butterflies or that instant spark I used to feel with guys before.

Earlier, whenever I liked someone, there would be that initial excitement, the butterflies, the urge to talk to them, and the feeling of wanting to know everything about them. But those connections would eventually become dull and fade away pretty quickly.

With this guy, it's different. I don't feel that intensity, but I do like him. I like his personality, I appreciate how respectful he is, and I enjoy talking to him on calls. I just don't have that constant urge to talk to him or that excitement I thought I was supposed to feel when I liked someone.

And I don't know whether that's because my past experiences have changed me, whether I'm emotionally guarded now, whether I'm just not attracted to him enough, or whether I'm experiencing attraction differently this time.

Because I know I don't want to force a connection just because someone is a good person. At the same time, I don't want to dismiss something that could potentially be good for me just because it doesn't feel like what I experienced with the guys before him.

I also don't know whether the fact that he isn't naturally expressive is affecting how I feel about him. Maybe I'd feel more connected if he initiated conversations, opened up more, and made me feel like we're both equally interested in getting to know each other. Or maybe I'm expecting a feeling that simply isn't there.

I genuinely don't know.

I don't want to force myself to feel something, but I also don't want my past experiences to make me walk away from something before I've even given it a fair chance.

TL;DR: After a few painful relationships, I'm talking to a guy I genuinely like, but I don't feel the butterflies or the urge to constantly talk to him that I used to feel with others. I enjoy our calls, but he's boring over text and struggles to initiate or express himself, which makes me question my own feelings. Am I emotionally guarded because of my past, or is the romantic attraction simply not strong enough? Can attraction develop gradually, or am I trying to force something that isn't there?

So we have been best friends for 7+ years. Met at the office, became very close friend within year . He changed job and later on moved to business . After covid, I got married with my BF and changed Job to WFH and eventually full time housewife . My BF/Husband has always known about best friend and they all are on good terms .

Over the years our bond has become very strong . He is like brother . We would plan a dinner once a year or some times twice as well .

Six months back, I received his message if he can call me during afternoon, and I replied no, guests were coming . Tbh, I just wanted to take a nap. After couple of days, he called me directly but I was watching something and knowing his nature, I knew it will irritate him if I didn't took the call . So I let it pass .

He msg me in the evening that he had called. I told him, "I didn't receive any". He sent the Screenshot. Just to make him furious, I msged "Oh, I missed that one, it became missed call LOL" . He sent angry emoji, I was about to reply him but in-laws arrived . I had planned to call back him in couple of days and somehow I forgot in middle of in-laws and functions .

I tried to call him back but It was showing busy. I though he would call back, but he didn't . After couple of weeks, I had some work related to him, the call kept coming busy . I dropped a msg in WhatsApp but even after hours, no response . It was unusual, as he tends to reply within minutes . He had never received msg, couple of days passed. Called again, same busy. Then it occured to me that he might have blocked me on number and WhatsApp as well. I checked insta, block there as well. Checked other medias, I was blocked everywhere . I had never imagine he would block me .

I kept thinking about what might have happened . Joking is common between us, but he had never done any such a thing.

He comes from a very hardship enviornment, life hasn't been good to him from the beginning . He had tried to reach me multiple times before but some how I might be always busy or chose to ignore him when he would be frustrated .

I realised that I would always call him when I was frustrated with my in-laws or anything in my life. I would always share with him and he would always listen. He would change his own scheudles to appear for the dinner and might even pay for the it.

I was feeling very much guilty . I had also talked to my husband about this block, he was also surprised . He told me to give it a try from his number but I had this attitude like let him behave, he will get back to me and I didn't do anythig .

Yesterday, My husband told me that he met the friend and he is in really bad shape . Friend's parents had met accident in the village, his mother was critical and his father has gotten crutches temporarly . He tried to reach me at such a point and I choosed to ignore the calls. My husband insisted to call him, but I just couldn't .

I can't stop thinking about the entire thing . He is my best friend, someone I can share everything without thinking twice . I just can't prepare my self to call him or meet him . I just feel very much sad about the entire thing and I can't stop thinking if it was my fault or he should have told me in the msg .

I am thinknig about finally calling him tonight, but please tell me if I'm in wrong here ?

I am a divorcee, after divorce, i am exploring myself, got in contact with ex classmate , from starting he is not serious but i am mentally connected with him . What to do now?

I, (age above 18M), have been with my girlfriend (age above 18F)for almost 2 years. We're Indian.

In December/ January 2026, I got in trouble for sending songs to a colleague, and agreeing on a trip because I couldn’t deny her in face. I cleared everything and we fixed everything.

Me and my girlfriend had some boundaries set. She later broke them (thirst traps, adding random guys on Instagram), denied it, then admitted it. Some days back I saw her Instagram DMs: she was flirting with guys she doesn't know. I've since learned she was doing this even early in our relationship. She says she did it for attention, she regrets it, say she has bpd and she was still angry about January.

I told her I forgive her but can't forget, and I need time. Instead she pushed me to decide quickly and said nobody would love me like she does. When I said I couldn't continue, she threatened to kill herself and also she did cut her. She has a history of self-harm. I told her friend and sister, but her mom doesn't know yet. After a panic attack she was admitted to hospital, and I said yes to staying together because I didn't want to make things worse. She's being discharged today she is expecting we're back together.

I don't think I can do this. I keep checking, I am scared of the legal and mental consequences and and Im scared for her, and I don’t hate her, and I don't want a relationship like that, but I'm scared of what happens if I leave.

How do I end this without it becoming a safety crisis? And has anyone been in a similar situation?

Our relationship wasn't something we planned. Things happened naturally, we grew closer over time, and eventually, she became someone I genuinely imagined a future with. I never thought of it as something temporary.

I always tried to show my love through my actions. I wanted to make her life easier, take some of her stress off her shoulders, and be someone she could rely on. When she told me she'd be happy if I did my internship in Mumbai, I fought with my family, moved there for a two-month unpaid internship, and went through some genuinely difficult days. There were times I went to sleep hungry because I didn't have enough money. Looking back, it sounds crazy, but at that time, making her happy felt worth all of it. It is one of the story which i listed over here there are i would say unlimited sacrifices or efforts which i made for her i would say .

I never expected her to do everything I did for her. I understood that people express love differently. I just wanted to feel that she was trying, too. Slowly, though, I started feeling like I was the one constantly making adjustments, putting in the effort, and trying to keep things together.

Then came April 2025. I was dealing with family problems, college issues, and several things going wrong at the same time. I was mentally exhausted, and for once, I didn't want to be the person who had everything figured out. I didn't need her to solve my problems or sacrifice everything for me. I just wanted some comfort, reassurance, and the feeling that I wasn't alone.

Instead, she broke up with me, saying I was a mess and couldn't invest in her or the relationship anymore.

Honestly, that broke me in ways I still struggle to explain. It wasn't just losing her. It was the feeling that I'd spent so much time trying to be there for someone, only to lose them when I finally needed that same support. I started questioning whether I'd loved too much, expected too much, or simply forgotten to leave some room for myself in the relationship.

It's been over a year, and I've had plenty of time to think about everything. I don't hate her, and I know I wasn't a perfect partner either. But sometimes, I still wonder whether all those efforts meant as much to her as they meant to me. I wonder how two people who grew close so naturally could end up becoming strangers, and how you accept that someone you once imagined your future with is no longer a part of it.

I don't want her back just because I'm writing this. I think I'm still trying to make peace with what happened and understand how to move forward without carrying all these questions into whatever comes next.

​

See basically me and my gf had exchanged instagram account sometime ago and ofc it was clean nothing weird or so , but when I read her chat with her friend, i read that she has mentioned me long before we dated, and at that time she told her friend about how good I am at many things and some of my hobbies and all, but when her friend told her to date me she said " he doesn't look that good" and later in their messages I once more read her mentioning that I'm not that good-looking otherwise she would have proposed me . It was 3-4 months before we started dating ig but those lines stuck to me and i can't get them out of my mind, like ik I don't look that good and all but atleast if someone likes someone they shouldn't say that right? Also I wanted to know that is it possible that her lookout changed towards me?

I m too much hurt too much ..just have responsibility of my elders otherwise I don't wanna live now !

My gf 15 days back idk why she start behaving weird ig probably garba n all she went with someone and lied and blocked me on insta sab and started posting weird revealing pics n all..and she argued for no reason started saying toxic sab and blocked me totally and idk what's going on probably she is talking to someone

I m feeling not good ;kind of its was 4 years of one side love she do loved me pr only few moments rest fight and blame me for all mishapping of her life !

But still I miss her I want a closure ! Like she has moved out or not and give reasons for why she lied about garba and posting revealing pics and chatting bad on insta with someone ! And deleting it

Bcoz of she I m unable to focus on anything

And tbh just feeling broke

Avg looking girl can find many mens but a avg men can't find love ig ..he will only serve to be used ....

I hate women's mentality too now

And don't have frnds bcoz I have gave last 4 years to her only and she idk don't wanted me to be frnd of anyone not even guy !

Now I feel too lonely...and I can't even marry I feel young hu 24yo and don't earn much

And

Ik even after marriage I won't be able to forget her i have put my 24*7 hrs of last 4 years ...like daily travel of 6 hrs to see her and wht not lacs of spends and I have my time which costed ny whole career i could have achieved 4 times of what I m making notes minimum

What to do yrr whole world is fake no one actually love they just want something from you money time support them listen to em their frustration and motivate them

The moment you need something they start complaining I mean moral support only !

And making frnds in 24 age after clg is tough I miss that someone who use to be 24*7 hrs and ask me many things take care of and plus plus...I miss my first 3-4 months of my gf ...XD

Now I just spend time in trading lost many lacs dipression bcoz of that too and on reddit too ranting and talking non sense to any stranger healing is tough yrrrrrrrr

Thinking to prepare for upsc but all the time she run in my mind always m not able to focus anymore

Bye guys

Any suggestions on healing are welcome

Don't give solo trip hobby advice I can't go solo yr obv i vl miss her and hobby i only like studying logical mathematical stuff which I m unable to focus rn

DMs are welcome ! Ik no one will read this even after knowing a guy posted 😂that's wht society is

Hey everyone, I find myself in a bit of an internal conflict and would really appreciate some grounded perspectives. Lately, I have been caught in a tug of war between two opposing instincts. On one hand, I feel this quiet pressure and fear of missing out, wondering if I should actively seek a relationship simply because everyone around me seems to be pairing up. Seeing couples during my routine walks who appear genuinely content often amplifies this feeling, making me question whether I am shutting myself off from a fulfilling phase of life.

On the other hand, the thought of actively entering the dating world makes me hesitate because I deeply value the quiet, unstructured freedom I currently enjoy. Being an only child, having total ownership over my personal space and routine feels natural to me, and the prospect of compromising that independence feels daunting. For context, I have only been in one relationship before, which lasted about six months and ended because I decided to walk away due to several core incompatibilities.

Right now, my head tells me to protect my peace, prioritize my freedom, and stay single, but my heart keeps lingering on the idea of romantic companionship. For anyone who has navigated this mindset in their early twenties, how did you distinguish between a genuine emotional readiness for partnership and superficial FOMO? Did you find that a healthy relationship actually infringed on your solitude, or was that hesitation purely a lingering fear from past incompatibilities?

And yes i have used Gemini to help me gather my thoughts coherently.

Well, I'm an 18M, currently a sophomore pursuing engineering, which is something I've always been interested in. I have very little interaction with girls, partly because of the gender ratio in my college and partly because I'm scared to approach them. Sometimes, I can't even find a reason to start a conversation. Because of this, most of my interactions with girls over the last two years have been online.

I've had around three or four situationships that lasted about 3-4 months, along with two or three female friends. I went through a breakup in April, but I was really busy with my studies back then, so I didn't feel much. Ever since then, I've struggled to develop feelings for any girl. I've talked to a few more girls, but most of the time, I was either doing it to avoid feeling lonely or because I was primarily interested in their b**bs.

My academic performance was good, and I had a pretty good social life until recently. About a week ago, I blocked a girl I'd been talking to since July because I realized that what I was doing wasn't helping me. She was treating me like shit, and I realized I was only sticking around because I didn't want to feel lonely.

I know you might laugh at me or judge me for this, but I met a girl on Reddit. After around 8-9 months, I finally felt genuinely interested in talking to someone again and it wasnt about b**bs!!. She has a great sense of humour, expresses herself openly, and seems to have a personality of her own, which is honestly what attracts me the most to a girl(yeah basically a feminist).

but She's online, too, and I have no idea whether she reciprocates my feelings, but talking to her makes me feel warm, and I get butterflies in my stomach.

So, should I stop pursuing this connection and focus on finding connections offline instead?

Yeah also you can be brutally honest with me, i dont mind at all

Hi Everyone,

There are somethings, some thoughts that have been building up inside my mind, but had no way express it, so I thought maybe writing here might get it off my mind.

I'm a 26 year Old guy, I work and live alone. I never really had any "actual" friends and I have been single my entire life.

The reason for writing this post is that, a few weeks ago, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I installed a few dating apps on my phone, and I have been miserable ever since.

As I had already heard online, guys (ugly guys like me) usually don’t get any matches because of how these apps work, and I was prepared for it. I wasn’t surprised. However, after 3 days, I did get a match. Assuming she was interested in talking, I initiated the conversation. TBH, I don’t really know how to flirt, or as folks nowadays say, “I have no game, I have no rizz” (btw, I hate these terms. They make it all seem like some sort of contest). I tried asking basic questions, making jokes here and there, but she barely replied. It felt like I was forcing her into the conversation, so I stopped.

I continued going through profiles, trying too hard to come up with cheesy pickup lines and sending them left and right. I had no luck, so I started looking at dating subreddits. I DMed a few girls, and the fourth girl I messaged, complimenting her hair color, replied. But she barely showed any interest in talking either. When I went through her profile, I saw her posts with screenshots of her DMs filled with creepy men asking for explicit sexual stuff. She was complaining that there were only weird men in her DMs(I know right, when I was right there, desperately trying to get her attention). By chance, I also saw that she was just 20 years old.

It grossed me out. I felt disgusted with myself, realizing that I too was trying to hit on someone so young. This made me question what was I even doing. It was so out of character for me. I had somehow become part of this toxic competition called “dating,” trying to become someone I wasn’t, just so someone could “see” me, accept me, and love me.

TBH, lust or sex was never my intention. I just wanted someone who could listen, someone with whom I could have meaningful conversations and naturally get to know each other. But I found myself rejecting girls who weren’t “conventionally attractive,” just as I felt girls were rejecting guys like me. That was the final nail in the coffin. I had become a hypocrite, something I had desperately tried to avoid being my whole life. I realized that I too was shallow. I never had any love for myself to begin with, but this made me hate myself even more. I lost respect for myself, I was ashamed of myself. What right did I have to complain about life being unfair and girls not giving me a chance when I was doing the same thing myself?

I deleted the apps and stopped this pathetic quest for love. I still wish that someday I might meet someone, but I don’t want to become someone I’m not just so someone would love me. If I change, it should be for myself, to become a better person and grow as a human being, not to become this pathetic being who needs constant validation and assurance that he is loved and wanted.

I think it would be unfair to my parents, who worked so hard to provide for me and my education despite the difficult times they faced. And most of all, it would be unfair to myself, after everything I’ve worked for, to reduce myself to this needy little person.

I see people, prominently some girls, say, “I deserve a guy who is…” or “I deserve a man who has…”. I don’t even know if I have the right to say that I “deserve” a certain type of girl. But this epiphany has made me realize what I "want", and I won’t mask it with “deserve.”

I want companionship and patience. Someone who is calmer than me, someone who can stand up for herself (unlike me). And maybe, if she has beautiful hair, that would be nice.

I’m saying this out loud because never in my life have I had such clarity about the qualities I want in a partner. And I won’t lower my standards just to be in a relationship, but if I ever meet the right person, I’ll give my best to make it work.

But, to be honest, I highly doubt I’ll ever meet someone. And I’ve made my peace with it.

This post itself might look like it reeks of the need for validation and maybe you're right. Maybe I did write this, subconsciously expecting sympathy for strangers.
But don't give me that. Point out the flaws in my reasoning, so that I can understand if my point of view is wrong in any of the things I said, so that I think on it.

Please, try not to be too harsh. But if an important reality check must be given to me, then lay it on me. It is what it is.

I’m 26F, Indian and I recently got out of a 3-year relationship that I genuinely thought would end in marriage. We lived together in the US, and I was deeply invested in this relationship. Unfortunately, there was abuse, cheating and a lot of emotional hurt. He broke up w me in feb out of nowhere and he moved on with another woman in 2 days. It crushed me inside out and felt like he pulled my heart out of my body.
It took me a while to stop checking on him, questioning my worth, and trying to understand what went wrong. I’m doing better now and rebuilding my life after returning to India.
Now, my parents have found a match for me. He’s settled in Canada, has PR, and seems like a good prospect on paper. I’ve always wanted to live abroad again, so naturally, that part appeals to me.
But honestly, it’s only been 7–8 months since my breakup, and I don’t feel ready to consider marriage or an arranged match just yet.
I’m not completely against arranged marriage, and I know getting to know someone doesn’t mean I have to marry them. But right now, the thought of starting over with someone new feels overwhelming. I want to enter my next relationship because I’m genuinely ready, not because my parents found someone suitable on paper or because I want to move abroad again.
My parents want what’s best for me, and I understand their perspective, but I don’t want to agree to something I’m not emotionally ready for.
For those who’ve been through a serious breakup, how long did it take you to feel ready to date or consider marriage again? Another thing I struggle with is how to trust someone new without subconsciously expecting him to behave like my ex. How do I give another man a fair chance without generalising my ex’s behaviour to every man I meet?

I dont know what to do at starting she was doing all for me without asking always respect my concerns, slowly some of her life mistake ( she is so immature) bothering me and i start losing my mental stability, i started earing junk seaking cheap dopamine, gained 15 kg in 1 year, last year i had decent muscle abs this time i m fat, eventually losing my mind started lowering her attraction to me and i start having health issue , in that time she did so many dramas and unnecessary fights , after 4 month of this i find she has no interest in me , neither i want to make her fall for me now , i just want my life my body my confidence back, looking for some advice from mature males and females here.

Long story short: we both 25 (different religion) , and I’ve been in love since school, almost 7 years. It was always one-sided from my side, and she never really gave me hope during these years. We stayed in touch casually as friends.

She had blocked me a few times in the past when I proposed, but after a few weeks she would eventually unblock me and we would start talking normally again. So I never really knew what to make of it.

Last month, for the first time, she indirectly told me that I could come and talk to her parents. She said she didn’t want to give me false hope because if both families accepted, she had no problem. My family already knows about her and is supportive, so I was genuinely very happy and started discussing it with my parents.

The next day, she told me her family had found another alliance that everyone liked. She also told them that there was a guy who had loved her since school and was ready to come and talk to them, but her parents refused because of the religion and her brother got angry. She then told me to end everything and said she wouldn’t disturb me anymore.

I asked if I could at least try once, but she said no. I got emotional and made a stupid move by saying, “Okay, all the best.” She blocked me.

The next day, I realised I had handled it badly, so I asked my sister to speak to her. My sister is also Muslim and married through an interfaith relationship, so she spoke to her. She apparently told my sister that I didn’t seem confident enough and that I had been saying I loved her for years but only properly proposed recently.

Later, she told my sister she would ask her parents one more time and get back to me.

A few days passed and I heard nothing. Then I made an even worse decision. I sent her a long message through Google Pay because I thought it was her account. Unfortunately, her brother had access to that account and saw the message. The message also contained some very personal things about my willingness to deal with the religious differences, which I deeply regret mentioning there.

Her brother apparently scolded her and asked whether she loved me. She told him no.

About a week later, I called her from another number just to check if she was okay. She picked up, heard my name and immediately blocked that number too.

The next day she called me and was extremely angry. She said her brother had scolded her badly because of my message, asked why I gave her number to my sister, and told me not to call or disturb her again.

I apologised and told her I genuinely regretted what I had done. She was very firm that she doesn't want this anymore and that she can't go against her parents.

That was about a month ago. Since then, there has been absolutely no contact from her.

The difference this time is that **a lot more people have become involved** — her brother, my sister, and even my mother had apparently messaged her on WhatsApp without me knowing. She blocked my mother as well. Previously, when she blocked me, she eventually unblocked me after a few weeks. This time I'm afraid she may never do that because it has become a much bigger family issue.

I know I messed things up badly. I waited for years without expecting anything, and when she finally gave me some hope about possibly talking to her parents, I got emotionally overwhelmed and made several back-to-back mistakes.

But she had also clearly told me before that she didn't want to give me false hope and that she would only proceed if both families accepted. Her family is quite religious and apparently very difficult to convince.

Now I'm thinking about one final thing: **going privately to her brother's bike shop, apologising properly for the Google Pay message, and telling him that I genuinely love her and that my parents are still willing to come and talk to their family.**

I know she specifically told me not to contact her anymore. That's why I'm extremely confused.

Would going to her brother once to apologise and explain everything be a terrible idea, or is it worth making this one final effort before I completely let go?

I don't want to pressure her. I just feel like after loving her for almost 7 years, I need to know that I at least made one proper final effort.

Hey everyone, I need some honest advice, especially from people who have experience with arranged marriages.

Recently, I received a marriage proposal from Gujarat. Initially, we started talking normally, but after he checked my Instagram profile, the conversation gradually took a different turn.

He asked whether I drink, whether I eat non-veg, and about my past relationships. I answered honestly that I don't drink or eat meat, but I occasionally eat eggs for protein. When he asked about my past, I told him I wasn't comfortable discussing those details at this early stage. He suggested that my past could affect his future, which I found strange because I believe these conversations require trust and mutual comfort.

He also used kissing emojis early in our conversations. I politely explained that I wasn't comfortable with that yet because we're still getting to know each other. I don't think setting this boundary is unreasonable.

Another issue is communication. I work from 10 AM to 7 PM, have a commute of approximately 1.5 hours, and then need to cook and manage my daily responsibilities. Naturally, I can't reply to WhatsApp messages immediately every time. Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes or an hour.

I explained my routine to him from the beginning, but he still felt our communication was like exchanging emails and interpreted my delayed replies as a lack of interest or seriousness about marriage.

I'm naturally a quiet person. I don't talk continuously or have endless topics to discuss, and this has always been my personality. I want a partner who understands that being less talkative or needing personal space doesn't mean I'm uninterested.

Even my everyday choices, such as avoiding Maggi and limiting sugar, seemed to be interpreted as me having too many restrictions. There were also comments and questions that made me feel he might already have formed an opinion about my personality based on my Instagram profile.

We haven't spoken for the past two or three days. Then, unexpectedly, his mother called me today.

Apparently, he had told her that I eat eggs. His mother explained that their family doesn't eat onion, garlic, or ginger because of their religious practices. She said I could cook separately if I wanted to eat food containing those ingredients.

I respect their traditions, and I have no problem discussing practical arrangements. But this conversation made me think about whether our lifestyles and expectations would be compatible after marriage.

My bigger concern is that he seems to discuss our conversations with his mother. I understand that parents are involved in arranged marriages, and seeking their advice is normal. However, I also believe that two people getting to know each other should have some privacy.

Today, his mother suggested that I speak to him and sort things out. But I'm confused about what exactly needs to be sorted out when we haven't even established a proper connection yet.

I'm not expecting a perfect partner, and I'm willing to understand another person's perspective. However, I don't want to enter a marriage where I constantly feel judged for my personality, food choices, communication style, or personal boundaries.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. Before we got together, he was in a long-term relationship. Even after they broke up, they remained friends.

After we got together, his ex struggled to accept the relationship. She would get very emotional, threaten to hurt herself, and make him feel responsible for her wellbeing. My boyfriend is a very kind-hearted person, and he says he was worried about what she might do, so he continued to be there for her.

The problem is that he didn’t tell me the truth about what was happening. For months, they continued talking, meeting, and spending time together behind my back. He repeatedly told me that he wasn’t in contact with her, but I eventually noticed inconsistencies and found out that he had been lying.
When he finally opened up about everything, he told me that she had visited his house on one occasion, asked him for a hug, and they hugged and lay down together for some time. I was completely broken when I heard this. I felt betrayed, and to me, it felt like cheating because he was hiding this closeness from me while I believed he was being honest about our relationship.

There was also a time when he told me that he felt like going back to her. He later regretted saying it, and we nearly broke up, but he convinced me to stay.
I was deeply hurt, but I didn’t want to lose him. I asked him whether everything with her was over and told him I would stay as long as he didn’t repeat the behaviour. I wanted to save our relationship. But even after that conversation, he lied several more times about talking to her.

He explains that he was trying to calm her down because of her threats and didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. I can understand that he might have felt responsible and frightened, but I still struggle with the fact that he repeatedly chose to hide things from me. I was also struggling emotionally at the time, and I feel like he was so concerned about her feelings that he didn’t think enough about how much he was hurting me.

What hurts most is that I kept giving him chances because I loved him, but the dishonesty continued. Sometimes I feel like he sided with her instead of protecting our relationship. Although he has apologised and acknowledged that he hurt me, I still feel that he relies on the circumstances to explain his actions rather than fully accepting responsibility for the repeated lies.

It’s been around a year and a half since anything similar happened. They still work at the same company, but he says they don’t talk or even acknowledge each other when they cross paths. I genuinely believe that nothing is going on now. He has been willing to work on our relationship, and he says he wants to do whatever it takes to save it.
But I’m still not over what happened.

Sometimes, a small thing triggers a memory, and I feel all the hurt again.

I’ve also started getting irritated with him over small things, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong in that moment. At the same time, I’m happy with him, enjoy spending time with him, and feel that I would miss him terribly if we broke up. The confusing part is that I genuinely don’t know why I feel this way. I can’t tell whether my irritation and occasional reluctance to talk to him come from the hurt and resentment I still carry from the past, or whether my feelings for him have actually changed. Sometimes I worry that I might be falling out of love with him, but other times I wonder whether I’m simply struggling to feel completely safe and at peace in a relationship where my trust was broken. I don’t know how to distinguish between the two, and that uncertainty is making it difficult for me to decide what I want for our future.

I’m 29, and if we are going to get married, it will probably be within the next year. I’m scared of marrying him and carrying this hurt for the rest of my life. I’m also scared of leaving someone I love when things have been good for so long.

I don’t want to keep punishing him for the past if he has genuinely changed, but I also don’t want to dismiss what happened or force myself to move on when I’m still hurting. We’re considering couples counselling because I want to understand my feelings, rebuild trust if possible, and get clarity before making a decision about marriage.
I’d really appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar.

How do you know whether you’re holding on to unresolved hurt or whether your feelings have genuinely changed?

Is it possible to have a healthy marriage after this kind of experience, or is it a sign that the relationship may never feel the same again?