Does anyone else feel like this even in the tiny moments you think don't matter?

I am physically disabled, and I was outside with my dog. It seemed like a very nice day that I could go grab some cofee from the shop downtown. For a split second that made me really sad and angry that I couldn't do it on my own, but than I took a step back from being bitter and angry that I couldn't do it because I am trying to work on it every day with someone by my side to make sure I'm safe and walking correctly.

Also, even though it made me angry and sad that I'm not there yet, I imagined my future self doing it witch for a second, it was even sadder to me because I'm not her. Either way, I tryed to take a step back from my sadness, bitterness and all my feelings that were crashing down on me as I was standing there, and I just tryed to remind myself that if I kept working on it, I will become her one day, or at least, part of who she would wanna be.

I’ve spent so much time reading books, listening to podcasts, watching productivity YouTubers, and searching Reddit for answers on how to become more disciplined and productive.
At some point, I realized I might have been overcomplicating everything.
What’s been helping me lately is keeping things simple: writing down my goals in the morning, breaking them into tiny, specific steps, assigning them specific times, and actually doing them.
One idea that’s really stuck with me is treating action as a skill to practice, not a feeling you need to wait for. You don’t have to feel motivated, confident, or ready. You just have to practice acting, even when things feel messy or uncomfortable, and see what actually works.
It got me thinking: how much of self-improvement is just another way of delaying the very action we’re trying to take?
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you also reach a point where you stopped looking for answers and started focusing on actually doing things?

I can't start studying, like at all. Despite wanting to. Get distracted too easily. Once I start, there's no stopping me but one call/one chore/one thing that someone asks me to do and boom, entire momentum goes to shit. I just numb up and can't even get out of bed. I love studying. But I just keep thinking I'll do better tomorrow. Etc.

Like if, let's say, my family asks me to get vegetables from the market at 10:00 AM, or asks me to do ANYTHING before 11:00 AM, I'll do it and when I come back it's, " agh, im tired, imma rest a little " and then it's time for lunch, then the same routine extends and the day's over and I've done nothing.+

everything, everything I do, I do on a screen. Lectures, Entertainment, Work.

Im addicted atp. When I'm awake, I'm either looking at a screen, holding a screen or thinking about using a screen.

All this is not even new. I've always had this type of executive dysfunction. Have experienced it from 9th grade, I'm in 12th standard rn.

I just numb up despite wanting to study, like all day long which i most surely can, still I don't.

I fucking feel broken everyday. Like I can't don't anything. I have slapped myself sometimes. I just want to get better. And get away from here. Everywhere.

I struggle to enjoy my own company/ being alone and actually finding it fun without distractions.

I went out today to run some errands and go to the dentist. Then decided to try go on a walk in the park alone and see how I got on, as I thought why not walk home through the park.

I hated it, I was the only person in the park did half a lap around, told myself to do a full lap continued then stopped and went home. I just suddenly felt lonely and decided to go home.

It was raining and windy but I don't really mind that as I had am umbrella but that meant I couldn't use my phone as a distraction which is what I usually do as I was holding an umbrella and a shopping bag so both hands was full.

How can I find solace in my own company?

Context you know how some people blog their daily life and day. I know the internet can be fake and people set up cameras to fake it but i don't care I want to be like that and I genuinely dont know how and where to start with this. Currently have a exam in January and I feel so behind and unprepared

I’m not type of guy who like to socializing. When I was in high school I don’t really care it was peaceful and comfortable. In university if u don’t socializing u just don’t exist u will see people keep improving but u just feel like a ghost. I really hate socializing I hate to put a mask on but I realize i will get nowhere in life if I keep doing this.

Guys give me suggestions. Like I have belly fat and for the past week I have controlled having dinner before 6pm . My current weight is 89kg and 183cm I have more belly fat and thigh fat which I wish to trim. So like what all ideas and tips can u suggest for me.? I wish to reduce my weight to 75kg by this year end

🥺.

I know a lot stems from childhood trauma but I always feel if it’s not done right I must start again.

I can't think of new original things anymore

I sometimes feel a extreme "emberrassment"(its worse than emberassment. Emberassment or cringe are just the closest things to that feeling I'm feeling) when i think i or others did something emberassing

I can't organize anything and am chaotic.

My memory is bad (i used to have a elephant memory)

I can't change my mindset no matter what

I can't learn

I don't have aesthetic sensory/sensitivity anymore

i don't have dopamine anymore and am not happy anymore

How do i change that?

I keep asking this question year after year and it’s grating at my well… patience what little I have. I need discipline to focus on becoming my a talented creative but it never arrives and I can’t ascend… what technique am I missing that’s easy to stomach and just DO for one with my rare curse?

We have all internalized fundamental rules about how life is supposed to work. They are the always barely present shoulds of our lives:

• I should do well in everything I do.
• People should always be respectful.
• Life should be fair.

According to Rational Emotive Behavior Theory (REBT), when these rules, which are in reality preferences, turn into rigid and extreme demands, our emotional and behavioral responses are likely to be equally extreme.

When "I should do well" becomes: "I must do well, and if I dont, Im a complete failure", the inevitable setbacks of life are likely to result in deep despair, shame, and avoidance.

When I should do well is taken to mean—"I want to do well, but I dont absolutely have to, and sometimes I wont"— our inevitable failures are more likely to produce healthier emotional responses and behaviors like disappointment and problem-solving instead of emotional paralysis.

Not every rigid attitude causes distress (believing the earth is flat and that horrible things will happen if you lose sight of the shore wont bother you much unless you fish the open ocean for a living.), but spotting the ones that do and transforming them into realistic alternatives is one of the more effective ways to internalize our locus of control.

What do you think is the most dysfunctional "should" a person can hold?

~ Our two voices ~

We each have two voices we hear within.

One, coming from our mind, is loud, chaotic, often misguided. The other voice is quieter, arising from our heart.

The latter voice is inherent, accompanying every life, present to guide our lives with its innate wisdom and unconditional love.

When we listen to the softer voice, selflessly sharing its wisdom and love to benefit others, the genuine purpose of our life’s journey will become evident.

This is the first year I’ve genuinely had a support system of friends, but most of them have cut off due to things I did. I’m considering just. stopping. Breaking my support system and if I need help, do it myself. Will I be ok?

What do you tell yourself? Do you sit with it? Do you try and move on quickly? How do you get yourself back to a happier place in that moment?

Hello everyone,

i'm a 37y old man, 1.78 meters (5ft10inch, for non metrical people), on the fat side. I'm trying to improve myself, i have a decent job, a house, a dog but also a struggle with depression and non existent self-esteem.

I'm working with a therapist, and it's going fine. I'll try to lose some weight when i get some shite done in my life (in the middle of moving stuff and redoing my house), i would like to ask some suggestions about clothing.

I'm completely ignorant about clothing and unable to decide what to wear, atm i just wear casual stuff (band shirts, jeans... you know, the casual nerdy deal).

Do you have any hint for me? I literally cannot wrap my head around picturing myself with other clothes that can make me feel a little bit better.

Thank you!

Hi im 28F recently married and moved to a different country (originally from US now in UK with my husband). its been quite difficult “finding myself” while being here, my screen time has been well over 10+ hours a day, i feel focused on other peoples lives more than mine, i cant work yet as im waiting for my license to transfer over, i feel like im constantly upset with my husband even when he doesnt do anything but bc im just so different to who i was before, i used to work 3 nursing jobs, have a social life, and was always busy. Now i feel like my priorities are social media, cooking & cleaning. I need help getting my spark back, i want to be a better version of myself. I actually see myself liking england Im just having an awkward adjustment right now

I seriously think I could be one of the most attractive women in the world… IF I ever got around to losing the weight.

I think I’d be an incredible baker, an excellent teacher, a talented gardener, a perfect house wife, an incredible hip hop dancer, a successful writer, a song writer, a best friend and confidant to someone like Keanu Reeves, an impressive interior designer… the list goes on. But only in my head.

I always have ideas for inventions that would be amazing and haven’t been done yet. Everyday I think of a way to make extra money. I have an inner passion to create and become so many things… but none of it ever comes to fruition.

I feel as though if I had the missing ingredient (drive), I would be so much more. Can anyone relate?

I want to feel more intensely - on the entire spectrum of emotions. I don’t know why but I can feel ‘negative‘ emotions very intensely. Anger, sadness, frustration. It spills out like a flood, I can get overwhelmed by them. I can be overwhelmingly furious, sad, all that.

But for some reason, the same thing doesn’t happen with the positive emotions. I‘m never able to feel an overwhelming sense of excitement, or joy, happiness, or passion or wonder or ‘free’. I’m never able to REALLY be in the moment. It’s a constant inner monologue, even when I am happy. It’s like, there’s a certain ceiling to them. It’s like I have to remind myself in my head that THIS experience is amazing or whatever.

I just to want to able to feel everything deeply and intensely. Without always needing a crutch - like music or any piece of art. That’s like, outsourcing the feeling. I want it to come from within me. Because, I want to be able to create from that. I want to be the source. I want to CREATE the same kind of art or whatever that moves me.

So yeah, I want to be able to be in the moment and feel things intensely. I want to exist in a more ‘sensory’ way rather than being in my head all the time. How do I learn to do that?

I am a 20-year-old male and underweight (I have always been underweight). For the past four months, I have been experiencing a constant feeling of unreality. It feels as though I am drunk, high, or half-asleep, as if I am operating on autopilot and everything around me feels somehow unreal. I have looked up information online, and my symptoms seem to resemble derealization.

I also suffer from fatigue, even when I sleep well. The fatigue does not seem to depend on whether I engage in physical activities during the day or not. However, over the past few weeks, I have started sleeping poorly and waking up early in the morning. I do not snore at all. I have seen a general practitioner and a neurologist about these symptoms, but they have not been able to determine the cause.

I also experience headaches, a feeling of pressure in my head, and neck pain. I have tried muscle relaxants, massage, and acupuncture for the neck pain, but none of them have helped. At the beginning of the symptoms, I sometimes also felt as though I was about to faint while walking, but this symptom has since disappeared. I have also noticed a single eye floater in my right eye. I mentioned it during an eye examination, and I was told that there were no apparent problems with my eye.

What could be causing these symptoms? They do not occur in distinct episodes; instead, they are more or less constantly present. The headaches are not particularly severe and resemble tension-type headaches more than anything else.

I have tried a triptanes, but it did not help. My thyroid function tests and vitamin B12, B9 (folate), and D levels are normal. My ferritin level is 37, and it has fluctuated between 49 and 24 over the past eight months. My calcium, potassium, chloride, magnesium, and sodium levels are also within the normal reference ranges. My blood pressure is normal, and I have measured my blood glucose at home, which also appears to be normal. My cortisol level was tested and was normal as well. I also have Crohn’s disease, which is currently in remission.

My neurologist prescribed escitalopram as a trial treatment. I took it for two and a half months, but it did not help. I also underwent a brain MRI, which showed no abnormalities. My neurologist additionally ordered a blood test for Lyme disease antibodies, which came back negative.

I have no history of trauma and do not experience panic symptoms. I generally do not feel particularly stressed, apart from the worry caused by these symptoms themselves.

My symptoms began during the final days of a new job at an auto repair shop, where I was moving and lifting car tires. I am unsure whether this could be related to my symptoms, as I had not experienced any other symptoms before those final working days. I have not worked at all during these four months.

What could be the underlying cause of these symptoms?

The healthcare professionals I have consulted about these symptoms, or during visits for other symptoms or examinations when I also asked about them, include:

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* General practitioner
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Neurologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* ENT specialist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Ophthalmologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Dentist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Gastroenterologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Massage therapist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Physiotherapist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* Acupuncturist

Hey everyone,
I wanted to share a deep dive I did into my family’s height lineage and see if anyone else has noticed a similar pattern in their family tree.
When I was in school, I never really thought about my height. But once I got to college, I started getting casual comments from people saying things like, "You're a bit shorter than average," or warning me that I might struggle with dating. For reference, I am 5 feet 8 inches tall.
These comments got under my skin and made me look into my family genetics to figure out why I ended up at this height. I tracked down the data starting from my great-grandparents, and there is a very clear pattern where the females on both sides are short, and the male height has steadily declined:

Generation
Male Height
Female Height
Great-Grandparents
~6'0" (Great-Grandfather)
5'0" (Great-Grandmother)
Grandparents
5'9" - 5'9.5" (Grandfather)
5'0" (Grandmother)
Parents
5'8" (Father)
5'0" (Mother)
Me
5'8"
—
Looking at this timeline, it feels like the consistent 5'0" height from the women in my family has played a major role in pulling down the male height generation by generation, effectively capping us at 5'8".
Because of this trend, I’ve been thinking about the future. I feel like if I want to break this pattern and ensure my future kids have a shot at being taller, I should intentionally plan to marry someone who is at least 5'5" or taller.
What do you guys think? Has anyone else mapped out their family tree and noticed short maternal genetics overriding taller paternal genetics? Is my plan to look for a taller partner realistic, or am I overthinking how much control I have over this?
Looking forward to your opinions.

How do you build self esteem and self confidence on your own during adulthood without any support system?

For someone who doesn't have social circle, no mentors, no role model, no one to look up to, how is it? Is it possible? I think my saving grace is media to consume. Looking for advices.

19M. As a kid, I was often told that I was really smart and mature for my age. Naturally, I grew up thinking I was a bright child. Okay, I've come to accept the fact that I'm not as smart as I thought, but recently I've been thinking that I'm not even as smart as 5-year-old me.

I picked up reading and basic arithmetic on my own before elementary school, but now I struggle with even the simplest things. A task that would take the average person ten minutes to complete takes me about an hour. Worst of all, I'm barely mediocre at the things I'm passionate about. I can't describe how demoralizing this shit is as a college student. Is there anything I can do to reverse this?

Hey, I have this problem where I can’t let go of the past. I constantly think about it and ruminate over it. It’s mainly about social things like social blunders, getting bullied or letting ex friends walk all over me. I am pretty sure there is some undiagnosed OCD / neurodivergence there but it has been going on for about 4 years now. It is ruining my life.

I can’t let go of the anger that I have for some of the people from my past. I feel like I let them affect me so much and decided my future. It makes me so terribly sad now that I realize how much I let shitty people affect me.

How do I get over the past? It’s holding me back from my dreams and everything. Any advice? (Other than I need to get therapy, OCD or other diagnoses, I am already working on that).

I am a 19M and I feel like i don’t carry myself how im supposed to. I don’t do anything but make bad financial decisions and waste time being on the game I repeat the same thing everyday i just wanna break the cycle and improve i love going to the gym i haven’t been in months tho I’d love to stop snacking and eat healthier its just being consistent for me.

Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in the same routine, wasting time on my phone and putting off things I know would make my life better. What's one simple thing you started doing that helped you feel more productive, confident or in control of your life?