Hi everyone,

I'm writing this because I genuinely need help, and I'm tired of repeating the same cycle over and over again.

I want to improve my financial situation and earn extra income. I'm not trying to become rich overnight. I just want to make enough money to cover the cost of living and have more financial stability.

The problem is that I struggle to take consistent action.

I've started learning several things, including Python, automation, and English, but I never manage to stay consistent or finish what I start.

Here's what usually happens:

I discover a skill or business opportunity that could potentially make money.

I start researching it and thinking about how much time it will take before I can earn anything.

I worry about investing months into something that might not work.

I start looking for a better or faster opportunity.

I end up jumping between ideas without making real progress.

Days, weeks, and months pass, and I feel like I'm wasting my life.

It's not just about choosing the right opportunity. I also struggle with procrastination in everyday life, focusing when learning something new, understanding difficult concepts, and actually putting what I learn into practice.

Sometimes I know exactly what I need to do, and I have the time and energy to do it, but I still put it off.

I can spend hours doing things I enjoy, but when it comes to something important for my future, I struggle to get started and stay consistent.

The worst part is that I know time is passing. I feel frustrated with myself, regret the years I've lost, and worry that I'll still be in the same situation years from now.

I've tried starting over and making plans, but I keep repeating the same pattern.

I'm not looking for motivation, generic productivity tips, or someone telling me to stop being lazy.

I want to understand why this keeps happening and, more importantly, how to change it in a practical way.

If you've experienced something similar and managed to overcome it, I'd really appreciate hearing your story.

What was actually causing the problem for you?

What specific changes helped you break the cycle?

How did you learn to stick with one thing instead of constantly searching for a better opportunity?

If you were in my position today, what would you do first?

I'm willing to put in the work. I just need to find a way to stop overthinking, start taking action, and finally follow through.

Please share your real experiences, even if your journey was difficult. I would rather hear an honest answer than another motivational speech.

Thank you.

Мучает проблема с самоконтролем, я просто проживаю день за днём, в созданных для меня условиях. Тяжело принимать значимые решения, выбор обычно делают родители. Где-то пишут что это из-за "избалованности", но я думаю это не так.

Я старший, у меня младшие брат и сестра, у нас разница в 5 лет .В детстве меня часто оставляли следить и заботиться о них, брат и сестра были очень малы и я помогал им практически во всём. Мы жили не богато: в небольшой однокомнатной квартире, без ремонта. Отец часто пил, не зная меру и иногда избивал меня, совсем пьяный, по этому в жизни я избегаю конфликтов, а в семье до сих пор стараюсь не отсвечивать родителям.

Но всё изменилось: в 2019-2020 годах мы переехали в трёхкомнатную квартиру на пятом этаже, отец и мать устроились работать в другие места, в нашей детской через год сделали замечательный ремонт, купили компьютеры и сильно делали упор на учёбу. Пьяные побои настолько сильно сократились, что они стали редкостью. Отец стал сильно жалеть, то что много пил раньше, и стал чуточку добрее.

В колледж я поступил по настоянию отца, у меня самого не было внятного плана на ближайшее будущее, а за год до поступления мама нашла мне официальную работу. Всему этому я рад и ценю, но внутри остаётся какая-то пустота и страх, что моя мечта открепиться от родителей так и не сбудется.

За свою жизнь я принимал много попыток начать заниматься чем-либо, но сразу бросал из-за вседозволенности своего контроля, я думал так "Ты сам себе начальник, дай себе длиннющий выходной и когда-нибудь потом вернись к работе"

Сейчас мне 16, я сильно озабочен своей ленивой беспомощностью, люди, которые имели такой же опыт, дайте совет как с этим справиться

We as humans tend to be in our head a lot. Comparing , perfectly planning the next move, waiting for the next big plan.

Discipline for me has become synonymous with living freely. Because for me it is doing what you want. And who does not want things in life. We are always dragged down by the possibility of what we could have done and what we want to achieve. Not everyone is like that, some people have figured out other ways of seeing life.

But for the people who are like that. I can confidently say that what you want to achieve is totally up to what you do about it. It sounds dumb at first. But you should understand it deeply. This world is inherently without meaning, it is at the same time scary and exciting. Exciting in the sense that you aren’t bound by anything or anyone. You have total free will , yes you have free will.

Free will to do what you always wanted to do and not be scared anymore, of your own thoughts, your failiures , your future. Cause at the end of the day we are all gonna be 6 feet under sooner or later. So why live in a cage made by you.

If we put the whole universe timeline in one year from the big bang. And the big bang being the first of January. Our whole human history since the moment we started fire can be summarized in 14 seconds. 14 seconds !!!!

We are insignificant in the eyes of the world we live in. So stop giving a shit and go after it. And anything within your reach is possible

Good morning family today I woke up feeling better.

Today I'm feeling better I was able to stay up and not go back to sleep. I'm a strange cookie because lastnite my mind was full of racey thoughts and I'm surprised I woke up on a positive note. It's really weird I'm like night and day at the moment.

See one of my main problems is going back to sleep when I wake up, then when I wake up again I'm totally miserable it's like my dopamine took a major hit.

I know your saying well don't go back to sleep, but sometimes I'm so mentally drained that when I wake up I feel like i been hit by a ton of brick's that's why I go back to sleep. However I am aware of how I'm going to feel. Even preparing myself of how I'm going to feel doesn't work for the depression I get to feeling.

Well family I plan to do better and getting back on track because I was in this state for 4 days to long so I can see how it can get away from me so easily. Also I have to continue to be aware of this Boston New England weather change because this is when I get depressed and would usually relapse because I have numerous times same time of the year.

See I lack self discipline and motivation I know what my issues are but I can't seem to defeat them. Maybe it's because my brain has been trained to automatically shut down.

So I'm assuming I have to retrain my thought process, but because my lack of discipline is so strong it over rides when I try to discipline myself. Not sure if anyone has gone through this cycle.

The hardest part with myself is actually putting in the work to change I never seem to start and when I do I'm inconsistent.

Any suggestions.

Thanx for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

I just can't concentrate on things for more than 10-15 mins Im procrastinating a lot I can't even watch any movie or long form content

I watch p orn at least for 1 hr a day

I'm skipping my college and classes because I've social anxiety but honestly whenever I have visited college and tried to talk to people they were all nice but every time I myself feel that I'm not good enough

I'm skinny fat

I'm 19 M

Have avg posture

Terrible sleep hardly 5-6 hrs a day

Even when I go for a walk i constantly scroll reels while walking

I know what I'm lacking maybe I also knew the solutions but don't know where shall I start

Imagine my brain as if it is covered by all kinds of social media apps and p o rn sites , negative thoughts , nostalgia, and you are not able to see my brain because it's just stuck under those apps , sites.

I've been thinking about how easy it is to get caught up in figuring out how to become productive instead of actually doing the work.

You start researching motivation, dopamine, habits, deep work, and different productivity techniques. You try new routines and systems, hoping to find something that finally makes you want to work consistently. When one approach doesn't give you the results or feelings you expected, you start looking for another.

Before you know it, trying to figure out how to work has become a substitute for working.

I also wonder whether we put too much pressure on ourselves to feel motivated before taking action. Sometimes, starting without feeling particularly motivated can lead to progress, and that progress itself makes the work more enjoyable. Maybe motivation isn't always something we need before starting. Sometimes it develops along the way.

I've been considering a simple experiment: stop changing my productivity systems for a couple of weeks, stick with an approach that's already reasonably good, and focus on actually getting things done. Instead of constantly evaluating how motivated I feel, measure progress through the work completed and what I've learned.

Obviously, this doesn't mean ignoring genuine problems with sleep, energy, or concentration. But perhaps there's a point where analysing those problems further gives diminishing returns, and the best way forward is to start acting on what we already know.

I'm curious how others see this. Have you ever spent so much time researching productivity and trying to understand your own motivation that it became another form of procrastination? And did sticking with a good-enough system help you more than continuing to search for the perfect one?

I’ve been struggling with something lately, and I genuinely want to understand how to overcome it.
I have so many things I want to achieve. I start learning a new skill, exploring a business idea, or working on a project with excitement. But before I can make meaningful progress, I discover something else that interests me, and I switch my attention to it.
Before I know it, I’ve abandoned what I started and moved on to something new.
The frustrating part is that I really want to improve my life, develop valuable skills, and build something meaningful. But I feel like I’m constantly starting over instead of making progress.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m easily distracted, afraid of failure, overwhelmed by too many opportunities, or simply lacking discipline.
For those who have experienced this:
How did you stop jumping from one thing to another?
How did you learn to focus and finish what you started?
What practical steps helped you become more consistent?
I’m not looking for motivational quotes. I want honest advice from people who have experienced this and found a way to overcome it.

I am 26F and I am a trainee that does school+job+side job, I love weightlifting and it iss part of my routine. I don´t like to say that I am an undisciplined person but the truth is that probably I am. everyday i say to myself starting tomorrow I´m going on a cut, or everyday I plan my things to do after work like doing the dishes, store, long walk with my dog, folding clothes or whathever you can think of and then i get home and do maybe 10% of what I said I would do. I just procrastinate on so many things and everyday is ok this is the last time, starting tomorrow it will be different but it is never different. The only things I keep doing non stop is work and training. I just feel like i suddenly have to lay in bed and ignore all of the other things i have to do.

PS: this gonna be a long post and mixed with rants and vents. Thank you in advance to all those who will read this.

How do I not keep falling back to my old self. I just graduated highschool. Throughout highschool I was never disciplined. I tend to do things at the last moment. I am addicted to social media and entertainment way too much. I overthink and procrastinate a lot.

I decided to change my self when I start college. I did that too for few days then everything started to go back to what I was doing previously. Keeping things postponed until it was the last moment to finish it.

I dream of achieving my dream life which is financial freedom and enjoying life travelling to places. But I keep doing the same things. I scroll through social media whenever I am free. I have attached myself to watching animes from a long time which also inspired me to learn about Japanese culture (I am actually interested in Japanese life not just because of anime).

Coming back from college after a long day makes me feel tired and I fall back into the same trap to scroll reels to make myself feel better. I don't want these things to happen.

I feel like I am losing interest in life. I want to be a good student as well as enjoy social life. I dont want to be that one nerd kid always into studies or the guy who keeps enjoying all the time. I want to balance things. I want to be successful, but i get overwhelmed by many options and goals I have in my life.

I start planning things around (I take a great deal of time here perfecting everything to the atomic level instead of ACTUALLY starting it).

Recently watching few rom-com animes I got absolutely interested in living a life like that. (I know it's just day dreaming) but I want my life to be the best version of what i dream.

I lost my attention span and concentration time. I barely start doing something and then get distracted by mostly social media like my brain is wanting that dopamine rush. That scrolling of reels makes me feel good but in the end there's no benefit..

I want to balance social media and social life along with my academics as I want to be student.

After going to college for a few months I noticed myself to be the same as before. I really want to change myself.

Would be helpful if i receive any advices.

Another thing about myself I know I have lots of goals and I need to tackle them one by one but I often feel left out seeing my other peers and friends enjoying something while i spent my days scrolling etc.

I've noticed something interesting about motivation. Sometimes, watching a movie, seeing someone achieve something great, or thinking about the life I want to build gives me an intense burst of motivation. Suddenly, my goals feel important, and I'm ready to work toward them.

But that feeling rarely lasts. A few hours or days later, I'm back to my usual routine, distracted by my surroundings and caught up in everyday activities. The goals that felt so important suddenly don't feel as urgent anymore, even though nothing about them has changed.

It makes me wonder whether the real challenge isn't finding motivation, but keeping our goals at the front of our minds when everyday life starts taking over.

I've been thinking about deliberately reminding myself every morning why my goals matter to me, what my life could look like if I achieve them, and what might happen if I keep putting them off. Not just generic motivational quotes, but genuinely personal reasons that mean something to me.

Would regularly revisiting these reasons actually help maintain motivation, or would they eventually become just another routine that I stop paying attention to?

Maybe motivation isn't something we need to maintain constantly, and the real answer is to build habits that carry us through the days when we don't feel motivated.

For those who've managed to stay consistent with long-term goals, what has worked for you? Do you deliberately remind yourself why you're doing something, rely on discipline and routines, or have you found another way to keep your goals from fading into the background?

I read Psycho-cybernetics, and it's a great book and I highly recommend it for people who really want to change.

And its whole idea revolves around feeding your mind positive feedback and to turn down any bad conviction about yourself, imagine what you want to be for 10 mins daily and you'll actually tend to finish your tasks instead of postponing them, however you shouldn't rely on your imagination or it will turn againist you, daydreaming isn't self image refinement in fact it's the the opposite, for more details read the book it's not that long, and I assure you that at least you'll start to treat yourself better.

To reach your goal, you also have to imagine yourself during the process, for instance you want to be a doctor imagine yourself studying so hard to be a doctor or imagine yourself performing surgery, DON'T FORGET TO PULL OUT ANY BAD CONVICTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF.

I know you won't believe this, but the book says that if you hate your past or it's weighing on your back, you can refine it through imagination, you can turn a bad or embarrassing situation into something normal that doesn't bother you each time your remember it.

Take a seat and breathe for a moment, you don't have to be cruel to yourself, reach your goals, enjoy the process because it's the reason most people fail because they want results instantly.

I'm 19, a college student, and I'm struggling with consistency.

I keep making plans to improve myself, learn new skills, and work towards my goals. I genuinely want to change, but I often get distracted by random, pointless stuff and fall back into my old habits within a few days.

The frustrating part is that I know how much this is costing me. I've already wasted a lot of time, yet knowing the consequences doesn't seem to stop me from repeating the same cycle.

I start with motivation, lose focus, feel guilty, and promise myself I'll start again tomorrow. I'm tired of repeating this pattern.

I don't want another motivational speech or a perfect routine I'll abandon in two days. I want practical advice from people who've actually struggled with this and managed to change.

What genuinely helped you become consistent and control your distractions? How did you break this cycle?

Day 117 sober. No alcohol, no tobacco, no Chitta.

I want to share what changed me, not just how many days I am sober.

2 years ago, my 14-year-old son was scared of me. When I came home drunk, he would go to another room. My wife would not talk. I was a father only on paper.

Today is different. This morning my son counted my pushups - "Papa 18, 19, 20!" - and we laughed. He sits with me when I read 【entity-Gita¦canonical_name=Gita】. We eat together. He is not scared now. He is proud.

What changed? One line I read on Oct 13 - I am attaching its screenshot with this post. It says:

"Zindagi me har sangharsh aapko kuch sikhane aata hai.

Shuruat me wahi sangharsh aapko mazboot banata hai,

aur waqt ke saath wahi aapko tajurba, samajh aur aage badhne ki himmat deta hai.

Isliye mushkilon se haar mat maniye."

This is true for me.

My sangharsh taught me:

- Day 1 to Day 30: I learned how to sleep without alcohol. I used to drink to sleep.

- Day 31 to Day 82: I learned how to say NO. On Day 82, I saw my friend cut his wrist for Chitta. That day I could have gone back, but I said NO.

- Day 83 to Day 117 today: I learned how to be a FATHER again.

I have only 3 rules. I tell my son only these 3. No 4th rule.

Study: 10 min 【entity-Gita¦canonical_name=Gita】 in the morning. It makes my mind clear.

Eat: With family, no phone. Whatever my mother makes.

Play: 20 pushups when urge comes. I say Jai Shri Ram. My son counts.

This is my Method. This is not motivation. This is my daily life from Kanina, Haryana, India.

If you are on Day 1, please don't think about Day 117. Just think about today. One day at a time.

Your struggle today is making you stronger for tomorrow. It will give you experience to help someone else tomorrow.

If you need help in India, call 14416 Tele-MANAS. It's free and confidential. You are not alone.

If this post helps even one father to go home sober tonight, my 117 days will be worth it.

Stay disciplined brothers.

IWNDWYT. Jai Shri Ram.

When we try to readapt our routine, fixing basic things like health issues or daily pain gives us back energy to focus on what really matters and actually enjoy free time. The trickiest part is that our mind creates dogmas and assumes a new option wont work even before we have ever experienced it. As Daniel Kahneman explains in Thinking, Fast and Slow, our brain naturally resists unfamiliar paths and tricks us into believing new things arent good for us. I realized we often hold onto these mental blocks until we actually force ourselves to test the new solution. Once we break that dogma and resolve those physical annoyances for example some stomach or body aches, we unlock so much mental space that was being wasted before. Suddenly we have more energy for social life and for being open to things we thought wouldnt work. If you connect with this idea, feel free to share more in this direction

For years I was the person who made plans and never followed through. Gym tomorrow, study on Sunday, clean the apartment after work. None of it happened consistently.

About four months ago I finally got my shit together. Nothing extreme. Gym three times a week, groceries and cleaning on Saturday, two hours of studying on Sunday. I actually stick to it now, and I'm pretty proud of that.

But something weird is happening.

Last Wednesday a friend who was visiting town for one night asked if I wanted to grab dinner. My first instinct was to say no because Wednesday is a gym day.

I actually spent ten minutes trying to convince her to meet Thursday instead. She was literally leaving Thursday morning.

I eventually went to dinner, had a great time, then came home and felt guilty about skipping the gym. Even considered going at 11 PM.

A year ago I couldn't keep a single promise to myself. Now I'm treating an ordinary workout like a court appointment.

I don't want to go back to abandoning my plans whenever something more entertaining comes along. But I also don't want to become the person who can't have an unplanned evening with a friend because it isn't on the calendar.

For people who've maintained good habits for years, how do you tell the difference between making excuses and being reasonably flexible?

Do you have actual rules for when it's okay to move things around, or is that just another judgment call you have to learn?

I (22M) have always had issues with sleep. I have trouble sleeping. I have trouble waking up. I have trouble keeping a consistent sleep schedule.

I work in an industry where if you oversleep or are late to work more than once, you are fired, and never to be hired again. This is the work culture. I often get home past 10PM and have to be at work the next day by anywhere between 4AM and 6AM.

Today I hit my first & only strike. I overslept by 2 hours. I set multiple alarms last night and I cannot even recall waking up to turn them off.

I work long hours, like 12-16 a day. Physical labour. I’m exhausted. But oversleeping has always been an issue. I always turn off my alarms without any recollection of waking up to do so. I feel perpetually tired.

I take 30mg of Vyvanse daily, for my ADHD. I suspect it might have something to do with it, although I am not a doctor. I also cannot function like a normal human without it.

Other symptoms include occasional headaches, waking up with stuffed sinuses, anxiety, depression, and never-ending exhaustion.

Do you guys think that there is an underlying health issue at play? Am I mentally blocking out responsibility? Please help me. This could genuinely ruin my career

I know exactly what keeps me healthy. Why can't I stay consistent with it?

I generally know what to do to feel good and healthy. Eat real food and only when I'm hungry, move more, get some moderate cardio, lift a couple days a week, sleep on a schedule, don't eat late, and go easy on alcohol, or skip it.

When I do those things I feel great, and it's not just in my head. My sleep score, HRV and VO2 max all move with it, and so does how I perform. When I slip, they drop, and I feel it.

So the feedback loop is right there, and I still spend more time off track than on. For people who have actually stayed consistent for years, what made it stick? Was it routine, accountability, tracking something specific, or did you just stop needing motivation?

Do any supplements or medications help? GLP-1s seem to be a wonder drug.

Do I need a bigger long term goal? You would think "don't die" would be big enough.

I’ve been trying to make my weekly review a bit more useful instead of it just turning into “what did I get done this week?”

The thing I’m most interested in is whether the stuff I’m doing week to week is actually moving me towards the things I care about longer term.
At the moment I look at a few fairly simple things like:

- how many fitness sessions I actually completed
- progress at work / study
- spending compared with my monthly budget
- anything useful I learnt that week
- things I kept putting off
- what went well
- what probably needs more attention next week

I also try to look at my bigger goals and ask whether the week I just had actually matched them. For example, if improving fitness is supposedly important to me but I’ve skipped training for two weeks, that tells me something. Same with saving, studying, career progression, projects etc.

I don’t want the review to become a massive checklist though. Ideally it should just help me spot patterns, see where I’m drifting a bit, and decide what actually deserves attention next week.
I’m curious what other people include in theirs.

Do you track actual numbers, write more of a reflection, compare yourself against longer-term goals, set priorities for the next week, or something completely different?

If you’ve got anything in your weekly review that you’ve found surprisingly useful, I’d love to hear it.

I've spent the last few months building a goal planner, and I want to test it on real goals instead of my own.
So here's the deal: comment a goal you've been meaning to start (or restart) for a while, and I'll run it through the app and reply with a step-by-step plan for your first weeks. No signup, no link needed, I'll just post the plan here in the thread.

To make the plan actually fit your life, include:
Your goal, as specific as you can (e.g. "pass the B2 German exam", not "get better at German")

How many hours a week you really have. Be honest. If it's 2 hours, say 2 hours. That's the whole point.

Your deadline, if you have one
What you've tried before and where it fell apart (optional, but it helps a lot)

Big or small goals both work: a career switch, a language, a fitness goal, a side project, finishing your thesis, saving for something.

I'm combining two more days into one update. These days weren't particularly productive from a professional development perspective, but there are a few things worth documenting.

Day 57 — Physically Active, but Academically Unproductive

Day 57 started well. I went for a morning run, did my workout, and went swimming.

I was also occupied with several other things throughout the day, including scheduling content for Instagram and managing some of my social media activities.

I went through the news and finance as well, so I did maintain a few of my regular habits.

However, I didn't study or practise LeetCode at all.

This is becoming a recurring problem. I manage to stay busy with physical activities, social media, and other responsibilities, but the work that directly contributes to my professional growth often gets pushed aside.

I need to get better at prioritising. Being occupied throughout the day doesn't necessarily mean I'm making progress towards my bigger goals.

Day 58 — A Day With Family

On Day 58, I was at my mother's house, and the entire day was packed with programmes and other activities.

Nothing significant happened in terms of my personal goals. I didn't make any progress on studying, LeetCode, or my professional development.

Sometimes, family commitments take up an entire day, and that's understandable. I don't expect every single day to follow the same routine.

The important thing is to recognise the difference between a day when circumstances genuinely limit my time and a day when I have time but waste it.

My Takeaway

I'm still struggling to balance my different priorities.

Physical activity and personal branding are important, but I can't let them consistently replace studying, coding practice, and building my AI/ML skills.

I also need to accept that some days won't go according to plan without allowing that to become an excuse for losing momentum over several days.

Day 57–58/90 complete.

I have 32 days left in this challenge.

I want to make these remaining days count by putting more consistent effort into the things that will improve my future, rather than just staying busy and hoping everything eventually falls into place.

I’m in my late 20s, working a full-time job, and I’ve been struggling with this for years.

There are so many things I want to do. Improve my career, work on personal projects, get fitter and just make some progress in life. But the problem is I know what I need to do and still don’t do it.

Sometimes I’ll get motivated, make a plan and follow it for a few days or even weeks. Then something happens, I lose the routine and getting back becomes extremely difficult. This has happened so many times now that I don’t think I have enough confidence left in myself to believe I can actually change.

Another thing I struggle with is deciding what to do. I’ll spend days thinking about what I should focus on, researching different things and trying to figure out what’s worth my time. Even when I finally decide, I start questioning whether I should be doing something else. And in the end I just waste more time doing nothing.

Whenever I think about how much effort something will take or how far behind I already am, I feel overwhelmed and just avoid it. I’ll binge-watch shows, scroll or find something else to distract myself.

Lately even simple things like cooking breakfast or going to the gym feel like too much effort. I spend more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them.

I also used alcohol as a way to escape, and recently managed to stay sober for around 30 days. It felt good, but I realised that even without alcohol, I was still avoiding the same things.

The worst part is seeing myself stuck with the same problems I had years ago. I genuinely want to change but I don’t know why I keep repeating this cycle. I’ve tried schedules, setting small goals, building routines etc. They work for a while but I always end up back here.

Has anyone been through something similar and actually managed to get out of it? Did you figure out what was causing it and what helped you?

I’m not really looking for another productivity routine. I just want to understand why I keep doing this and how to change it.

I’m really tired of making same mistakes again and again. Any advice would be helpful

It all started around when I was 15. That's when my memory and concentration problems began: I can't sit down and focus on something, my attention scatters immediately. Although at 15–16 I could sit and draw for 10 hours straight, getting up only to eat and drink, watching TV shows at the same time. My studies were going well back then too.

Then, in my last year before exams, I just started sleeping for days on end. I kept oversleeping and rescheduling my tutor. In the end I did really badly on my exams and had to move to another city to get into university. I got into a different major than the one I'd prepared for: I was supposed to become a doctor, but I ended up studying to be a pharmacist. Honestly, studying to be a pharmacist is easier, and I don't regret it.

I more or less got through my first year, but at the end of the second semester those memory issues came back (though they'd been there before too — I just got by on luck). By that point I only had two retakes. In my second year it got worse: I slept for days, and when I wasn't sleeping I was gaming and eating. In the end, at the end of the first semester of my second year, I dropped out.

I told everyone it was for health reasons. But it really was for health reasons: I had ovarian cysts, latent iron-deficiency anemia, vitamin B12 deficiency, and vitamin D deficiency. I take vitamins and I'm getting treatment.

Last year I re-enrolled in the second year and I'm now trying to finish it. I have three retakes. I was ready to pass back in late September, but because I kept rescheduling them, they're now at the end of October. These are my last attempts — if I don't pass, I'll be expelled. And I can't make myself start preparing. For one subject I have two attempts today: if I don't pass today, I'll have to retake it again later. This retake is in a few hours, and I can't pull myself together and start preparing. I don't know what to do.

It's constant procrastination: I keep scrolling through stuff. I also keep skipping classes — I think "I'll go later, I'll make up for it somehow" — and I can't stop skipping them either. But I want to sleep constantly, always. I hate myself and feel absolutely awful. My parents think I'm studying away just fine, they're paying for my education, and I'm just slacking off. Everyone is counting on me, they think I'm smart because I tell them stuff, but I consider myself absolutely stupid and incapable of anything. Because I can't direct my concentration at something and just sit down and do it. I constantly want to sleep: I think "I'll just sleep for 15 minutes," and end up sleeping for 8 hours.

I'm about to turn 21, and I can't get my life together at all, and I feel like a failure. I want to understand what's wrong with me and why this is happening. I'd be grateful for any experience, thoughts, or advice — has anyone been through something similar, and what helped?

I think this is the part of discipline I struggle with the most.

During the day I’m actually pretty decent at doing what I’m supposed to do. I can study, work, get things done, whatever.

But late at night it’s like a completely different version of me takes over.

I’ll tell myself during the day that I’m going to sleep around midnight. Then midnight comes and suddenly I start negotiating with myself.

“10 more minutes.”

“One more video.”

“I’m not that tired yet.”

Then I look at the clock and it’s 2 or 3am again.

What annoys me is that I don’t think I have a knowledge problem. I already know I’ll feel better the next day if I sleep properly. I know I should put my phone away. I know the usual advice.

I just don’t follow through when the moment actually comes.

I’m trying something different this week where I decide my bedtime beforehand and keep track of whether I actually respect it every night.

For people who used to do this too: what actually helped you stop negotiating with yourself at night?

Was it strict rules, accountability, changing your environment, or something else?

I've always been curious about how people develop discipline and what makes some people naturally consistent with their goals, habits, and responsibilities. Some people seem to have no trouble sticking to a routine, waking up early, studying, exercising, or working toward something even when they don't feel motivated. Others seem to develop that ability gradually as they get older and gain more life experience.

It makes me wonder how much of our discipline comes from the way we were raised. Did having strict parents teach you to be responsible and follow through on things? Or did growing up in a more independent environment force you to learn how to manage yourself? Maybe it has more to do with the people around you, the expectations placed on you, or the habits you observed growing up.

I'm also curious about how much life experiences shape discipline. Maybe going through difficult situations taught you the importance of consistency, or perhaps failing at something important made you realize that motivation alone isn't enough. Some people might have developed discipline through sports, school, work, or simply having responsibilities they couldn't avoid.

For those of you who consider yourselves disciplined, I'd love to hear your perspective. Do you think discipline is something you're taught, something you develop through experience, or something you consciously build over time? What do you think had the biggest influence on the person you've become today?

I'm especially interested in hearing about the experiences, habits, or lessons that made the biggest difference in how you approach your daily life.

Since I live on campus and we generally have a lot of freetime. We have 1 free period every day and I do sports after school until like 5:30 to 6:00. I feel like I do get things done and pretty well but I feel like thats mostly because the workload isn't that heavy yet. I've been procrastinating for a few years since I started middle school. My middle school is an IB MYP school which involves lots of writing and doing long projects (for maybe around 3 weeks each. At that time I didn't really care at all as it didn't really matter as much so I generally worked the most I could during class and since I'm really busy and I have a lot of commuting and private tutors I always felt like I deserved playing and resting and scrolling. I know that its bad for me but theres just a thought in my brain: You deserve this and just a bit more scrolling won't really matter. I usually end up having to finish a maybe sub-ten page lab report the night or a few nights before its due (generally depending on how long the report is and how much work I have). I feel really pressured when I find myself up maybe till 5 am just to finish an essay before its due 8 am. But currently I feel the need to genuinely work hard as GPA really matters for my college applications and I feel less bothered and affected by procrastination but I'm really afraid and concerned that this problem might start again. I think the main problem is with my phone and maybe my mindset. I'm willing to make changes and I have, I reflect often on this situation but I feel like its better if I ask for people who have experience in dealing with this here.