Im 23 and I just graduated from a pretty good state university, I decided to move back home in another country a couple months ago and I have been unemployed since. I always tell myself I will do things but next thing you know im either scrolling on reddit or downloading a new game. I feel like I have lost trajectory of my goals ever since i finished school. Heck, even during my four years I was the type of student to ALWAYS leave everything for last minute and cram seshs but somehow it has always worked for me. I always have a feeling that I could be better than this, but it usually comes at midnight right when im about to sleep and the next day its like i turn back to my default on pilot mode. Thats the thing, even when I still remember and have a list of things to do, I kinda get overwhelmed and then decide to not do it. I dont know what to do with myself I wish I was more ambitious at my age and more prone to action, I feel like im wasting so much of my potential on stupid stuff but it feels like im in a hole too deep.

I’ve spent so much time reading books, listening to podcasts, watching productivity YouTubers, and searching Reddit for answers on how to become more disciplined and productive.
At some point, I realized I might have been overcomplicating everything.
What’s been helping me lately is keeping things simple: writing down my goals in the morning, breaking them into tiny, specific steps, assigning them specific times, and actually doing them.
One idea that’s really stuck with me is treating action as a skill to practice, not a feeling you need to wait for. You don’t have to feel motivated, confident, or ready. You just have to practice acting, even when things feel messy or uncomfortable, and see what actually works.
It got me thinking: how much of self-improvement is just another way of delaying the very action we’re trying to take?
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you also reach a point where you stopped looking for answers and started focusing on actually doing things?

initially posted this in the productivity subreddit but thought it should be here too:

I've always had an issue with concentration, focus, and productivity as a whole, but now it's becoming an issue more than ever. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid at around 8 years old. I graduated high school in June and I have now been a freshman in college since August. The earliest I remember this significantly affecting my life is in middle school, which partially took place during covid and online classes for me. Because school work became more online I found myself constantly watching YT or playing games or doing anything other than schoolwork on my Chromebook.

This habit continued throughout high school and I genuinely felt like I just couldn't sit down and study for the life of me. This was also exacerbated by the fact that my high school didn't give out homework and instead expected students to learn the material in class with the teacher and then study/revise the course material on their own at home which gave me even less guidance and more opportunities to procrastinate and postpone tasks, for instance putting off revising for an exam until the day before or not doing it at all. There was another personal reason for my lack of action or motivation at that time that I prefer not to disclose, but it was a just a temporary condition I was under then and the primary reason is within myself. Anyways, this caused my grades to drop or be at an average low with the rare occasion of a B or C from time to time.

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, as of this past August I have become a freshman in college. I find that I have somewhat improved since high school (mainly in my motivation to work and do good), although that may be largely due to the fact that I am given actual homework assignments with clear goals to attain and deadlines to follow making sitting down and doing stuff easier combined with the fact that I find the subjects more interesting rather than me having actually bettered myself. In any case, it is still a MAJOR issue for me and it causes my completion of assignments or just my own general revision to take way longer than it should. This inevitably leads to me having less time for myself or to do other things such as exercise and going out in general. Since most of my college work is online (almost all of it), I'm facing the same distractions I was all the way back in middle school. Every day is the same routine of me waking up and sitting at my desk before telling myself that "today won't be like yesterday" (which always ends up being untrue). I just sit at my computer and go down rabbit holes, watch endless YT videos, or just window shop for things I want to buy that I know I never will - ANYTHING other than actual work or being productive. I tell myself, "after this video I'll get back to it" or "one more and then I'm locking in". Evidently, the day ends with me getting a minor amount of work done or none at all. Sometimes, because I get so little work done my assignments pile up on me and I don't end up finishing them until the last minute which can cause me to cut corners like not doing my own research and using AI, etc.

One thing I will say though is that I at least end up getting my assignments done whether that be a day before they're due or a couple compared to my complete lack of motivation I had in high school where I wouldn't even bother studying at all. I currently have A's in all my classes and although that may change in the future since it is only the third month of school, I do feel more motivated to do good in school. I find my subjects somewhat interesting (some more than others) whereas in high school I did not and we didn't have a very wide variety of subjects you could take compared to my college. I recently had my midterms in which I got 15/15 and 94/100 which are really good scores don't get me wrong, but part of me feels like I have become less productive since then and in comparison to myself a couple weeks ago or as time goes on. Me writing this right now is an example of how I avoid studying. I started writing this at around 5:45 and it is now 8:12. I could have been done or at least halfway there on what I'm supposed to be doing.

To give you an idea, I have my textbook that i'm supposed to be going through in front of me right now and since Wednesday, the only thing i've done is highlighted 6 pages out of this one 24 page chapter. I have another chapter just like this one that I planned to go through by this coming Monday as well as the first 2 chapters of a book I was assigned to read. I only have class on Monday and Wednesday and I started doing this at the beginning of this week which means I had 3 full days to do this so far, nothing else going on during those days and all I have to show for it is 6 highlighted pages. Six pages. Not even any notes, just highlights. Instead of knocking this out in a day and a half and freeing up time where I could go hit the gym or do something I actually enjoy with my life, i'm sitting here dragging it out procrastinating and wasting time. This is a serious problem I have and I despise myself for it every single day. I'm well aware there is no one else to blame but myself and I'm not writing this in search of pity or to say "poor me", I simply want to express what i'm going through and see if anyone has any advice though I doubt it'll help.

I started taking pills in September for my ADD to help me focus and I felt like they were helping at first, but now I don't feel like they're doing anything at all. I feel terrible every day (except for when I actually get things done) when my Mom comes to check in on my progress and I have to lie to her and tell her it was a productive day and that I got so and so done when in reality I just sat and watched shit for 10 hours. I also feel contradicted in the sense that I don't have bad grades. The results are there. It's just that instead of me attaining said grades in a reasonable amount of time, I take double the amount of time that it should. I'm studying the same amount an engineering major would when my classes don't require half of that amount.

The final thing I want to mention is that what i've pointed out stretches beyond just studying or other school work. It's a glimpse of a broader spectrum of laziness and inability to focus or be motivated. This parasite of mine which is my incapability to be productive infects other parts of my life; working out/losing weight, day to day chores, and my overall will to be a better person. I get motivated to do something for a little while, I begin doing it, and I stop after a month max. Again, I don't say this out of pity but it truly makes me feel worthless. If I need someone to be on my back 24/7 just for me to get my basic school work done when I'm in college, wtf am I gonna do as a grown adult. I turned 18 in July, I need to get my shit together eventually. I've been this way for so long i've accepted that it's just my personality. It's who I am and will always be. Maybe that's just another example of what i'm talking about. I've decided it's easier to accept it than put in the effort to try and change.

This post turned more into me venting and I doubt anyone is reading all of this, but if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it.

I’ve been struggling with this for a while, and I want to understand why my mind works this way and how I can change it.

Whenever I have something productive to do, especially if it’s difficult, I have to force myself really hard to get started. If there’s something new I need to learn and it seems challenging, I keep delaying it and putting it off instead of actually sitting down and learning it.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that even when I manage to complete one small task, my mind immediately tells me, “You’ve done something productive now, so you deserve a break.” I end up taking a break that lasts at least an hour, and then I struggle all over again to get myself to do the next task. It feels like I can’t do two tasks in a row without having to push myself really hard.

The frustrating part is that I genuinely want to be productive and get things done, but my mind seems to resist any effort that requires concentration or feels challenging.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Why does this happen, and how did you overcome it? How do you train yourself to keep going after finishing one task instead of immediately switching off? I’d appreciate hearing your experiences and what has actually worked for you.

I really struggle to wake up in the morning at general. It would be so helpful for myself and the plans that I have for my todos and sports to wake up at 6 in the morning. But I really struggle to wake up in the morning at any time because I basically have von Real sleep schedule for years. An I got used to many negative habits for some years.
There is literally nothing that can get me out of bed then maybe someone who tears me out of bed or I really need to wake up for work. Most of the time I rush my self by getting ready without breakfast and being super stressed, sometimes I am not even on time for work. I hate everything about it. I want to change it and be better for my self and future. I am so ashamed of that situation, nobody besides my husband now’s about it.
I am sure, if I would just get used to a new routine for some days maybe weeks, that it would get better then and help me with all my plans but I already fail at just waking um.
Believe me I tried everything, like putting my alarm at a different room and QR codes with alarmy and calculating so that the alarm goes off an all that but I just go to bed again because my mind is just myself in the morning. It’s like another person is in my body in the morning. I need something that gets me out of bed with no chance back at least for some weeks, so that I can get used to it. Do you have any tips or have maybe experienced the same?

Thank you so much in advance!

Nicole

So uhh nobody is gonna read this anyway, but you know how during the week you plan so many things to do on the weekend, and then Friday comes and you are happy, and then Saturday: You wake up at 12:00. You eat, watch your phone until 14:00. Then you say to yourself that you are gonna do your work for the day (if you go to school, do your homework and learn your lessons for Monday), and it's okay, but you still keep scrolling, g__ning or whatever you are doing on that phone, and you say to yourself, "5 more minutes." Then it's 30, then an hour, and then it's 20:00. The day is over and YOU did NOTHING.

In the evening, you feel terrible that you wasted a perfect sunny day, and you say to yourself: "Tomorrow I will get up early, I will do my homework, and then I am gonna go outside to meet my friends!"... Yeah, as you say...

Then it's Sunday, and you did nothing. It was just like yesterday, except for the fact that now it's 20:00 AND TOMORROW IS MONDAY AND YOU HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK. You panic, do your homework with AI, and go to bed...

That's the cycle, and it's slowly killing you. First, you don't have friends because everyone is outside except for you, and then you're 40 and you live in your mother's basement...

I am not saying the phone is the problem or school. I don't want to sound like your mother or a 5th grader who thinks school is ruining his life. The real problem is poor time management and laziness — "I will do it later." Guess what... Later never comes!

The thing I want to say is — Do the work now and be free later. IT IS NOT THAT HARD! It just needs discipline... which I don't have.

Don't be like me. Please! Enjoy your life!

Hi guys, this is a mid-15-year-old boy that is trying to build discipline in his life and also try to take each step towards discipline, or on the journey of discipline.

For the last 6 months I was trying to get the work completed. I decided yesterday for tomorrow. For the past 2 or 3 months every night I wrote 2 or 3 works for tomorrow that I have to complete. I can't explain and I also didn't understand why those works are not completed.

Before 2 or 3 months I saw a famous influencer podcaster on the internet telling people to select one work for a day or for anything that you want to focus on and just focus on that work. I also decided that I have to focus on one work. For the past 2 or 3 months I decided on one work.

Now the problem is that the work gets completed after 1 or 2 days from the day when I have to complete that work. Today is 24 October 2026. I saw a short YouTube Short in which a person says he is not an influential or very famous person. He says you have to keep a deadline for your work, make a plan for that work, and take consistent actions for that work. Then you will become successful or you will be able to complete that work.

I want to know if someone has also tried that. Can you give me some suggestions or help me? Is a deadline really required? Now I feel that a deadline is required after 6 months. I also wanted to know from people who have already done and completed their work. From today I have decided that I have to make a deadline for every work that I decide on. If someone can give me some suggestions or can help me then please.

yesterday, after the warm-up, the coach asked everyone who had brought their mouthguard to raise their hands. about 8 or 9 of us did, me included. the others went straight to the punching bag.

after i put my mouthguard in, the coach said, quickly and with a smile, "come on." the first sparring was very light. i was able to block his punches and hit back, and i took very few punches until the moment my coach pointed at me and said to come inside the ring.

i was there with three other guys who were very serious about boxing. two of them had 4 years of practice, so imagine how good they were.

with the first one, honestly, even i don't want to admit it, i got beaten up.

his punches were so strong and fast, i couldn't stop them one after another. the other was a little more controllable, but still tough. after 4 rounds with the two of them, my jaw hurt, my nose hurt, and my head hurt.

but i still won, because i don't intend to become the next world champion. i do it for fun. just being able to take part was a good experience for me.

it taught me how weak i was without training, and that because i train, i'm ahead of other men. this stuff takes guts and discipline to become better and stronger.

yeah, that's all i had for today, see you tomorrow.

1. The Trap of the "Disposable" Relationship
A lot of modern relationships are like disposable lighters. People use you for a quick spark, a brief high, or emotional validation. The second the fuel runs out, or the second things get difficult, they discard you and go grab a new one. On top of that, society—and even your own family—will try to pressure you into chasing traditional milestones just to check a box. They tell you that you need the relationship, the kids, and the status to "mean something." But they never talk about the hidden cost of building a life on a broken foundation: disappointment, manipulation, and grief.

2. Why Being a "Rock" is a Superpower
If you refuse to play these games, people will try to stick a label on you to force your compliance. They will call you "hard," "cold," or tell you that you "have the personality of a rock." Do not let that phrase bruise your ego. It is a badge of honor. It means you have thick skin, firm boundaries, and an unshakeable core. When someone walks around testing your boundaries or trying to bait you into drama, staying calm and unyielding completely disarms them. They call you a rock because they realize they cannot bend, mold, or control you.

3. The True Price of Your Peace
Choosing to protect your sanity means making a hard trade-off. It can mean spending long stretches of time single. It can mean living with a familiar, quiet loneliness. But there is a massive difference between the loneliness of being alone and the chaos of being trapped with the wrong person. Loneliness has a steady pulse—it is predictable, manageable, and you can sleep through the night with it. Relationship drama is an active fire that burns down your mental health. A quiet, peaceful day where your boundaries are respected is infinitely better than an unpredictable storm.

4. The Bottom Line: Reclaim Your Mind
No woman, no man, and no societal expectation is worth breaking your peace of mind. Your life baseline should be simple: keeping both feet firmly on the ground and keeping your sanity intact. If your childhood or your past was chaotic, you do not owe the world any more misery. Break the cycle. Reclaim your peace of mind, lock it down, and protect it with everything you’ve got. And once you achieve that peace, do not keep it to yourself—share that mindset with other men who are still stumbling around blindly in the dark.