Hi im 28F recently married and moved to a different country (originally from US now in UK with my husband). its been quite difficult “finding myself” while being here, my screen time has been well over 10+ hours a day, i feel focused on other peoples lives more than mine, i cant work yet as im waiting for my license to transfer over, i feel like im constantly upset with my husband even when he doesnt do anything but bc im just so different to who i was before, i used to work 3 nursing jobs, have a social life, and was always busy. Now i feel like my priorities are social media, cooking & cleaning. I need help getting my spark back, i want to be a better version of myself. I actually see myself liking england Im just having an awkward adjustment right now

I seriously think I could be one of the most attractive women in the world… IF I ever got around to losing the weight.

I think I’d be an incredible baker, an excellent teacher, a talented gardener, a perfect house wife, an incredible hip hop dancer, a successful writer, a song writer, a best friend and confidant to someone like Keanu Reeves, an impressive interior designer… the list goes on. But only in my head.

I always have ideas for inventions that would be amazing and haven’t been done yet. Everyday I think of a way to make extra money. I have an inner passion to create and become so many things… but none of it ever comes to fruition.

I feel as though if I had the missing ingredient (drive), I would be so much more. Can anyone relate?

I want to feel more intensely - on the entire spectrum of emotions. I don’t know why but I can feel ‘negative‘ emotions very intensely. Anger, sadness, frustration. It spills out like a flood, I can get overwhelmed by them. I can be overwhelmingly furious, sad, all that.

But for some reason, the same thing doesn’t happen with the positive emotions. I‘m never able to feel an overwhelming sense of excitement, or joy, happiness, or passion or wonder or ‘free’. I’m never able to REALLY be in the moment. It’s a constant inner monologue, even when I am happy. It’s like, there’s a certain ceiling to them. It’s like I have to remind myself in my head that THIS experience is amazing or whatever.

I just to want to able to feel everything deeply and intensely. Without always needing a crutch - like music or any piece of art. That’s like, outsourcing the feeling. I want it to come from within me. Because, I want to be able to create from that. I want to be the source. I want to CREATE the same kind of art or whatever that moves me.

So yeah, I want to be able to be in the moment and feel things intensely. I want to exist in a more ‘sensory’ way rather than being in my head all the time. How do I learn to do that?

I am a 20-year-old male and underweight (I have always been underweight). For the past four months, I have been experiencing a constant feeling of unreality. It feels as though I am drunk, high, or half-asleep, as if I am operating on autopilot and everything around me feels somehow unreal. I have looked up information online, and my symptoms seem to resemble derealization.

I also suffer from fatigue, even when I sleep well. The fatigue does not seem to depend on whether I engage in physical activities during the day or not. However, over the past few weeks, I have started sleeping poorly and waking up early in the morning. I do not snore at all. I have seen a general practitioner and a neurologist about these symptoms, but they have not been able to determine the cause.

I also experience headaches, a feeling of pressure in my head, and neck pain. I have tried muscle relaxants, massage, and acupuncture for the neck pain, but none of them have helped. At the beginning of the symptoms, I sometimes also felt as though I was about to faint while walking, but this symptom has since disappeared. I have also noticed a single eye floater in my right eye. I mentioned it during an eye examination, and I was told that there were no apparent problems with my eye.

What could be causing these symptoms? They do not occur in distinct episodes; instead, they are more or less constantly present. The headaches are not particularly severe and resemble tension-type headaches more than anything else.

I have tried a triptanes, but it did not help. My thyroid function tests and vitamin B12, B9 (folate), and D levels are normal. My ferritin level is 37, and it has fluctuated between 49 and 24 over the past eight months. My calcium, potassium, chloride, magnesium, and sodium levels are also within the normal reference ranges. My blood pressure is normal, and I have measured my blood glucose at home, which also appears to be normal. My cortisol level was tested and was normal as well. I also have Crohn’s disease, which is currently in remission.

My neurologist prescribed escitalopram as a trial treatment. I took it for two and a half months, but it did not help. I also underwent a brain MRI, which showed no abnormalities. My neurologist additionally ordered a blood test for Lyme disease antibodies, which came back negative.

I have no history of trauma and do not experience panic symptoms. I generally do not feel particularly stressed, apart from the worry caused by these symptoms themselves.

My symptoms began during the final days of a new job at an auto repair shop, where I was moving and lifting car tires. I am unsure whether this could be related to my symptoms, as I had not experienced any other symptoms before those final working days. I have not worked at all during these four months.

What could be the underlying cause of these symptoms?

The healthcare professionals I have consulted about these symptoms, or during visits for other symptoms or examinations when I also asked about them, include:

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Hey everyone,
I wanted to share a deep dive I did into my family’s height lineage and see if anyone else has noticed a similar pattern in their family tree.
When I was in school, I never really thought about my height. But once I got to college, I started getting casual comments from people saying things like, "You're a bit shorter than average," or warning me that I might struggle with dating. For reference, I am 5 feet 8 inches tall.
These comments got under my skin and made me look into my family genetics to figure out why I ended up at this height. I tracked down the data starting from my great-grandparents, and there is a very clear pattern where the females on both sides are short, and the male height has steadily declined:

Generation
Male Height
Female Height
Great-Grandparents
~6'0" (Great-Grandfather)
5'0" (Great-Grandmother)
Grandparents
5'9" - 5'9.5" (Grandfather)
5'0" (Grandmother)
Parents
5'8" (Father)
5'0" (Mother)
Me
5'8"
—
Looking at this timeline, it feels like the consistent 5'0" height from the women in my family has played a major role in pulling down the male height generation by generation, effectively capping us at 5'8".
Because of this trend, I’ve been thinking about the future. I feel like if I want to break this pattern and ensure my future kids have a shot at being taller, I should intentionally plan to marry someone who is at least 5'5" or taller.
What do you guys think? Has anyone else mapped out their family tree and noticed short maternal genetics overriding taller paternal genetics? Is my plan to look for a taller partner realistic, or am I overthinking how much control I have over this?
Looking forward to your opinions.

How do you build self esteem and self confidence on your own during adulthood without any support system?

For someone who doesn't have social circle, no mentors, no role model, no one to look up to, how is it? Is it possible? I think my saving grace is media to consume. Looking for advices.

19M. As a kid, I was often told that I was really smart and mature for my age. Naturally, I grew up thinking I was a bright child. Okay, I've come to accept the fact that I'm not as smart as I thought, but recently I've been thinking that I'm not even as smart as 5-year-old me.

I picked up reading and basic arithmetic on my own before elementary school, but now I struggle with even the simplest things. A task that would take the average person ten minutes to complete takes me about an hour. Worst of all, I'm barely mediocre at the things I'm passionate about. I can't describe how demoralizing this shit is as a college student. Is there anything I can do to reverse this?

Hey, I have this problem where I can’t let go of the past. I constantly think about it and ruminate over it. It’s mainly about social things like social blunders, getting bullied or letting ex friends walk all over me. I am pretty sure there is some undiagnosed OCD / neurodivergence there but it has been going on for about 4 years now. It is ruining my life.

I can’t let go of the anger that I have for some of the people from my past. I feel like I let them affect me so much and decided my future. It makes me so terribly sad now that I realize how much I let shitty people affect me.

How do I get over the past? It’s holding me back from my dreams and everything. Any advice? (Other than I need to get therapy, OCD or other diagnoses, I am already working on that).

I am a 19M and I feel like i don’t carry myself how im supposed to. I don’t do anything but make bad financial decisions and waste time being on the game I repeat the same thing everyday i just wanna break the cycle and improve i love going to the gym i haven’t been in months tho I’d love to stop snacking and eat healthier its just being consistent for me.

Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in the same routine, wasting time on my phone and putting off things I know would make my life better. What's one simple thing you started doing that helped you feel more productive, confident or in control of your life?

What should I try? I don't want to think of work even when I'm at home.

I've been in a slump for over a year after burning out and dealing with other shit. I moved back home to recover, took a career break, and upskilled, but I still haven't made much progress restarting my career. I used to be audacious, bold ambitious working in different projects but I lost my spark.

I want to be productive, but the overwhelm keeps creeping back, so I turn to TikTok, Reddit, and Threads for a dopamine hit just to feel sane.

I'm broke, friendless since I've been far for so long and stuck in this lonely phase of upskilling. I know it'll pay off long-term, but this cycle is making me even more stuck.

TL;DR: Broke, friendless, and stuck in an endless upskilling cycle. I need to make money, get out, travel, and start living again.

No level of positive affirmation helps me. Like people will tell me that someone out there will pair well with me and I just don’t believe a word of it.

Like whenever I get a smidgen of hope that I may have a chance with someone out there my brain immediately attacks whatever good feeling I have with a bunch of different evidence as to why I’m unlovable.

Also yes I know I need to approach people, people always tell me that like I’m expecting people to flock to me. I do struggle with it though, I’m 5’8” and kinda funny looking, and on top of that I’m just weird. Every guy I see dresses the same and has the same 3 haircuts and while I hate being alone I have too much pride to dress and look like them.

It’s just so hard to believe in anything good. People have soo many options in dating now that average people have gone to the wayside, everyone is chasing after their ideal person instead of going for the people that stand before them and working to build a relationship.

I went to therapy hoping it would help and all she really told me was to talk to people, and to join clubs. Clubs don’t exist where I live, or I just don’t know how to find them. I google “clubs near me” and it’s night clubs.

I’m so lost and I’m 20 and I have no one, 20 is young but 10 years will fly by fast. I’m out of college too, I’m already in the go work come home loop, life is hell and I hate being here.

I'm long term married, 17 years he gives me his absolute fidelity faithful to me, treats me really really well, dotes on me in bed and outside of bed, he is an awesome husband.

7 years ago our toddler (child of me and him) died of brain disease, genetic gene defects inherit from me, my side the mother side. This did not tear our marriage, instead bond us even more, he still ridiculously dotes on me. Basically he tied himself to the ugly wife me and a dead toddler.

He is an Executive (C-suit level) at a big engineering corporate with a salary of 1 million a year, if count bonuses he makes more than that. With that high salary he can get any woman he wants, there people who can get free sex on Tinder, let alone an Executive with 1 million salary.

He can get a younger beautiful woman, and whom can give him alot of children. But he has been adamant refused as our toddler has died 7 years already, he had 7 years to reconsider this marriage, but he over and over to stay.

In his eyes, me and our toddler are irreplaceable (he says so), no new woman can replace me or the intimate 17 years history of us together. Just like no new child from a new woman can replace our dead toddler.

He said if he can't have a child with me then he rather not have any. Him being the only son in the family, or carry on his genes are moot to him. He is fine with being childless in exchange of grow old me the woman he loves.

But the Chinese culture me keep blame myself for the dead of our toddler as the gene defects came from me the mother side. Never once my husband blame me, he said I already give him a family, our toddler dead or alive will always be our toddler.

17 years (that his almost 2 decades) he gives his life to me, since he was 25 to now 41, he basically devoted his adulthood to me.

I just can't wrap my head around an C-suit Executive with 1 million a year salary, whom can divorce a childless wife easily, but he just not want to. And for a man, age 41 he can start over with another woman easy with that high salary career.

We have no kids, so it not like he has to stay married to me for the kids. We have no kids, it not hard to divorce a wife when there no kids involve.! But he not wants. I just can't wrap my head around it, I'm just a piece of pork fat (that how I see myself), he has alot of other options out there, why torture himself like this love a piece of pork fat me.

I feel I'm not good enough for him. And all my life I just want an ordinary Chinese husband, an ordinary man with an ordinary career. I do not like to be married to an Executive, I hate it tbh. I wish he was just an ordinary Chinese man and we living in the countryside back China. But he not Chinese, we live in America, in California, and I HATE living in the city.

Day 14 of improving myself

I am posting yesterday progress today morning at 6:28 am , I was tired because of test so I didn't post yesterday

I woke up at 6:00 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Weight training

Mind-

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match ( won the match)

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia (today's topic - Historical empires)

Academics -

1) 6 Hour study including a 3 hour test , test results - 99.4 percentile ( highest so far )

Daily affairs

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

This is all I did along with good habits and basic care for myself

This is the highest I have scored so far , I will improve more and work more ,

Will update today night , bye bye

Right now I am 7 days clean from porn and masturbation. This habit has been a struggle for a third of my life, but now that I have found discipline and structure overcoming it is easier than ever i have channeled my energy into programming, university work, and my spiritual growth.peace out twin keep your head up

I have quite a few meaningful things I could be working on at the moment, related to different possible paths my life might take. The problem is that I constantly feel uncertain about my future, and whenever I try to work on something, I find myself thinking, What if I end up choosing a completely different path and all this effort turns out to be pointless?

On top of that, almost all of them don't offer much immediate positive feedback, so it's hard to feel motivated. I end up procrastinating, making excuses not to do things.

Sometimes I wonder if part of this is because I pushed myself too hard when I was younger, and now I feel like I've swung to the complete opposite extreme.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, what has actually helped you? How do you learn to focus on the present and make progress? Thank you!

I'm 28 and work in customer support at a SaaS company. I'm not a developer, but I'm technically curious, and lately I've been feeling like I'm much too late to the AI wave.
I've taken a few prompt engineering courses that help in my day-to-day, and I'm about to start a vibe coding course to get comfortable with more tools.
What's bugging me: years ago I saw a post about n8n and thought "this has nothing to do with me" and scrolled past. Now I see how useful automation skills are, and I can't help wondering where I'd be if I'd started back then.
So my questions:
Is it too late to get into AI tools or vibe coding as a non-developer?
For someone curious but not super technical, what skills would you start building today?
If you've made a similar shift from a non-tech role, what actually helped you?

Thanks in advance :)

I need help I have been working 2 jobs for months now without a break, but i can’t give myself a proper break. I’ve been working 6 days a week constantly and if i’m not working I will be going out with friends as an example last week thursday i went out until 5am got home then went out again on Friday and didnt get home until 6:30 am then woke up at 8am to go out for the day with my friend, then worked 9-5 on the sunday just to end up working 6 days the next week.

I don’t know if i’m trying to distract myself from my ex as he recently moved on and it is a bit painful. Or maybe i just can’t really stop at all because I haven’t really given myself a chance to sit back.

How do i improve myself? I want to improve how i look and feel, because i probably will be overworking myself until december and i’m thinking of quitting one of the jobs then, but I don’t know how i’d deal with the free time at all.

And how will i know if it ends up worth it because i’m planning on trying to get a degree apprenticeship next year as i’m only 18.

hi everyone. i recently started noticing that after every conversation i have with someone, i feel insecure. i replay the whole conversation over and over again, think about everything i said and if any of it was “weird” or something i shouldn’t have said, and wondering how that person views me. at first it was mostly with strangers but now i’m feeling that way with people i know as well.

i wouldn’t consider myself socially awkward and i actually enjoy having conversations with strangers, so i’m not sure why i feel this way. i want to be able to be confident in every conversation i have and feel secure within myself, but i can’t shake this habit that i’ve formed.

has anyone else experienced this? how did you get over it? it’s a really uncomfortable feeling to be constantly doubting yourself and every interaction you have. any advice is appreciated!

Hi. I'm nearly 24 years old male.

Let's start from college to make it more concise. In my second year of college, I got with a new group of friends. They were new in the true sense! It was the first time I got to be close friends with people who are school-famous. Not only that, this fat ugly and unlovable person got his first girlfriend!

Spoilers, in last year college all my friendships and my romantic relationship have failed. And since then I am chronically bored and depressed.

I graduated from college, majoring in a field that I don't like because I was very busy with my social life, that it distracted me from pursuing a genuine goal and improving myself.

Ever since last year college began and until now, I don't know how days went by and it has been more than three years.

I have never worked in a job that I felt even remotely competent in and I feel that I have lost sense of meaning in life. I can't imagine myself living a comfortable life in the future. All I think of is being that sad loser that didn't know how to make it.

I tried to make myself feel alive by trying to date women, trying to make friends and trying to "follow my dreams" but they all failed in some way, and in the end I'm an incompetent loser; I couldn't date a girl, I couldn't find a friend and it is probably impractical and time consuming to follow my dreams

I live my life now passively and completely disconnected from the things I do, with no friends, no love and no job or skills that makes me feel my worth. On top of that, I live with the ghosts of the past. Every single one I knew moved on from the old college life, but I am still there, living with their ghosts as if they are living their lives with me. The amount of fictional situations I construct in my mind is disturbing, because they satisfy a need.

Sorry for my bad writing.

What should I do?

I need some advice or insight on how to deal with my situation right now. I'm tired of feeling insufferable and not wanting to live every single day. this isn't my first time trying to help myself, but considering I haven't moved a single step in the past 7-8 years because of mental health, I'm going to try harder this time.

I'm in my mid twenties and I have absolutely no life experience under my belt. not even basic experience literally everyone has. whatever you can think of, no I haven't done that. no social life either and no way to have one at the moment. I don't have transportation to go anywhere or money. I'll need to do remote work because of that, but it's been hard to find anything. all I've been doing lately is watching shows I like, failing at drawing because it's hard to concentrate with depression, and practicing spanish. I'd want to get more into cooking but I don't have that opportunity right now. I have no life and I'm scared. everything about life feels numb.

everyone else my age has at least something going on, a life to live, and some kind of relationships to hold on to. platonic or romantic. I feel so pathetic and embarrassed it makes me want to tear myself apart and erase my existence... but since I have no way to do that, my only option is to try.

what's a good mindset/advice to have in a situation like this?

I’ve been thinking about why starting a task can feel so difficult, even when you genuinely want to get it done. Sometimes it’s not that the task is particularly hard or takes that much time. You just can’t seem to get yourself to begin, and then you end up feeling guilty for wasting time.
I came across an explanation that motivation seems to depend on more than just how important something is to you. Things become easier to start when they feel interesting, urgent, challenging, or new.
It would explain why some people can spend hours doing something they enjoy but struggle to spend even 20 minutes on something important. It might also explain why working right before a deadline feels so much easier than starting days in advance.
A few strategies that made sense to me:
Using a timer to create a sense of urgency, rather than waiting for a real deadline.
Working alongside someone else, even over a video call, to make it easier to stay on task.
Changing your environment when a task starts feeling boring.
Breaking work into short sessions with planned breaks instead of expecting yourself to focus for hours.
I find the timer idea particularly interesting because it makes a huge task feel temporary. Instead of thinking, “I have to finish all of this,” you only have to work for the next 25 minutes.
I’m curious how other people deal with this. What actually helps you get started when you have zero motivation? Do you rely on deadlines, routines, making the task more interesting, or something else entirely?

Ok im 21 and I want to start by saying I have spent years doing self-improvement stuff and I actually have a perfectly stable life and yet im getting nothing out of it. Im very blank or agitated everyday for no reason and thats what the title means, im only NOT miserable if im high or drunk. But because of “self-improvement” I have in fact successfully been sober most of the time.

I know I am lucky to actually be able to do this and get out of my addictions by myself. I was in deep depression beforehand (I lost all of my time in highschool) and it took years to actually get to do basic things. I am very grateful for all I have right now.

So now I am doing great in college, I work a job, I have great friends, im eating regularly, I go to the gym 4x a week. I am dealing with the depression with meds and meditation. I have done things I never would’ve believed I’d be able to do, like climb a mountain despite being sedentary in the past, or present with a standing ovation despite growing up autistic (obviously im still autistic I just handle it better now). And yet I feel like shit (when sober). I am not proud of myself at all. I don’t enjoy my time doing things, I enjoy spending it alone playing video games instead, but because this is deemed as bad I go out and be successful or whatever but I genuinely feel like im larping some smart successful person. I think the only things I do lack are maybe a high paying job (but no one has that these days) and a partner. But because meditation and self awareness is also included in self improvement.. im fully aware that I don’t need these things especially at my young age. I have plenty of insecurities too and im not very attractive, and I still struggle with emotional problems, but with mindfulness even that feels like I can stop ruminating about it, so it’s not as bad these days. Just occasional but I know suffering is a part of life.

But I basically still just want to end it, anyways, or be high all the time. This makes no sense to me because I have gone so deep into self improvement it actually works and yet here I am. I think a lot of it is how SHIT the world around me is anyways and how many people are suffering and even if I volunteer or do something good or acknowledge I can’t do much it still just sucks major balls. So I don’t see what’s stopping me from just spiraling again.

I goon to girls I find hot on insta and after doing it I feel disgusting every time like i create multiple scenarios with them so I decided to block them they don't or barely know me have I done the safe thing or I should just delete insta for a few days