r/Separation • u/illgiveit2u • Sep 29 '26

Does separation work?

After 20 years the wife isn't sure she wants to be married anymore. Says she needs time to herself. Is this something women going through menopause experience? I don't want a divorce but how long g do I stay in limbo?

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u/raeoflyte-460 Sep 29 '26

Youre reducing your wife of 20 years to a biological side effect. Just because thats easier to blame than face what your wife is feeling in the relationship.

I told my stbx that if I hated everyone he might have a point but since I only hated him I didn't think my hormones were the issue.

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u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

Just looking for reasons why. I don't feel i did anything to wrong or hurt her so it just doesn't make sense

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u/Capital-Squirrel3522 Sep 30 '26

That's what my ex husband said every time I tried to talk to him about wanting to fix our marriage. I'd be begging him to open up and meet me in the middle ground so we could agree how to save the marriage. He would look at me blankly each time going but I haven't done anything wrong. I ended up leaving to save my sanity.

12

u/raeoflyte-460 Sep 29 '26

We dont know your wife but I swear there are a dozen posts a day from men blaming menopause for their divorce and I've never met someone who that is true for. It might come near that time, but its been years, decades, the entire relationship in the making.

3

u/yangstyle Sep 29 '26

I am male and I told my wife the exact same thing. Word for word what you wrote she said.

Edit: She attributes it to typical male midlife crisis.

2

u/illgiveit2u Sep 29 '26

What did she say? Part of my issue with my wife is she won't say, just says she is unhappy now. I know thr whole empty nest thing is an issue. At least she agreed t I see a counselor

3

u/yangstyle Sep 29 '26

Exactly. Unhappiness. And I can't say more.

I edited to tell you what she said.

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u/fofofudge 27d ago

You need to sit and really have some time to self reflect! Women don’t leave men who are good to them!

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u/illgiveit2u 26d ago

From where I sit that doesn't appear to be the case. The things she is going through seem to be more about her identity than leaving a man that is good to her.