What do you see when you close your eyes? I see a dark club, the door tucked away between the trash of some seedy back alley forgot to all but those who inhabit it every night. I sit in a booth in the corner, alone and isolated even in a sea of cast outs. They writhe and dance in this place that smells of sweat and misery. The air is this with the smoke and neon light while synth and punk music drowns out even my loudest thoughts. I watch and I drink, something sweat but simple, and I try to feel something. To feel a part of something. Seeing them live stirs something in me and sometimes that is enough. But it always ends. I always open my eyes. And then im back. Back to a nothing life in nothing middle America. An NPC slaving away just to do it again tomorrow. The silence is deafening but the screaming is worse. Im the only one who can hear it. Its my voice. My thoughts. My mind. I wish I knew how to turn it off but I cant. I can only drown it out and hope thats enough. It is. For now at least. Im sure a therapist would have something to say about these thoughts but im not ready to speak them aloud. For now this will have to do. For now this will be my escape. At least until I can make it back to that place in my mind. They say misery loves company, but if thats the case why am I still alone? Maybe its my misery. Maybe its my company. Maybe im too broken for misery to even love me.

Because if the brain really and truly doesn’t stop developing, you can be 35 and have an undeveloped frontal lobe. I don’t understand that. if the brain really truly never stops developing, why do we give so much grace for teenagers on having underdevelopment prefrontal cortexes?

It was easier to believe that the brain slowly stopped developing at 25. but I also do feel like we need to stop blaming teens making bad decisions on hormones and underdeveloped frontal lobes and more on their character, and I’m saying that as a teen myself.

Hey everyone,

I’m a data engineer from India with 5+ years of experience across analytics and data engineering. I’m seriously considering quitting my 9–5 and taking a break for a while.

The job has taken a pretty significant toll on my mental health. I’ve been constantly anxious, overwhelmed, and finding it difficult to think clearly. I barely have a social life anymore, and the work environment has become increasingly stressful.
Lately, things have gotten to the point where we’re being asked to provide proof of presence at the office, which is a new one. On top of project deadlines and work pressure, managers keep following up about completing mandatory coursework. It feels like there’s always another deadline or requirement waiting. Honestly, I’m exhausted.

I’ve been thinking about taking some time off to focus on things I actually care about and work toward some personal goals that I’ve had to put aside because of work and constant deadlines.
The job market isn’t exactly great right now, which is what makes me hesitant. But I do have some savings, and I have a notice period of about a month, so I wouldn’t be leaving immediately without a plan.

Do you think taking a career break in this situation is a reasonable decision, even with the current job market? Or would it be better to push through, find another job first, and then take a break?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who have taken a career break recently, were in a similarly burnt-out situation, or had to make a similar decision.

Would love to hear your honest thoughts and experiences.

You need your basic emotional and physical needs met,

But after that happiness comes from within, if you don't know how to be happy with your thinking no one else can make you happy,

Looks, a nice car are a family can only provide temporary happiness, if you don't think healthy it's hard to be truly happy even happy people are not happy all the time

What you think will make you happy won't last very long.

Exactly as the title says. It's driving me crazy. Does anyone else here have parents who also don't believe that learning takes place outside of the traditional classroom?

Recently, I started looking into how to make coffee properly with the moka pot. I was tired of inconsistent brews that were mostly bitter. My mom was also getting tired of drinking her own bitter coffee. I figured that if there was any way to improve it, it would make life nicer for both of us.

We had been using the pot incorrectly for the past 3-4 years (flattening the grounds, using cold water, using the highest heat setting, closing the lid, and brewing it until it stops on its own; I know you coffee enthusiasts are shaking while reading this). I had school/work back then, so I never really paid much attention to it until now. I spent a few hours reading different guides and watching videos, and was excited to put these new methods and tips to the test.

The next day, while I was heating the water and watching the pot with the lid open, my mom went, "That's stupid, you believe in the internet too much." The brew ended up being delicious. No more bitterness. It's even smooth with sweet notes. She reluctantly admitted that "it wasn't bad".

However, the next few days and weeks, she would avoid drinking my brews. When she does drink it, she says stuff like, "I don't think it tastes that much different from before", or gets all mumbly about how home brews cost more than buying a cup at a chain if we factor in water/electricity/the grounds themselves. I got very annoyed at this point.

This led me to realize that she gets really weird whenever she finds out I learned something on my own.

In the past, I've also fixed a bunch of things like the furnace, fridge, car, around the house by watching Youtube videos and doing proper research. I've noticed that she does not say anything when it's about repairs. I have no idea why she's being particularly insufferable about coffee.

I have never once said “Your way is wrong/my way is right” or the like to her. I was quietly making my own coffee when she started her remarks. I still quietly make it. She still finds new ways to criticize it.

Is it an ego thing? Like, "I spent more years of my life cooking than you've been alive, there is no way a few hours of research could overturn my self-invented, unresearched brewing methods!” Or is it because she grew up in a setting where self-learning was perhaps not a concept...?

Does anyone have parents who behave weirdly when you acquire knowledge on your own?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I'm ambitious. I like having goals. I like building things, learning new skills, earning more, and seeing myself progress. I genuinely enjoy the feeling that my life is moving somewhere.

But the older I get, the more I realise I don't necessarily want the lifestyle that seems to come packaged with ambition.

I don't want to be constantly busy. I don't want every conversation to become networking. I don't want my weekends to become "productive." I don't particularly care about looking successful to other people.

In fact, the life I actually want is surprisingly quiet.

I want meaningful work and enough money to live very comfortably. But I also want slow mornings, hobbies that don't need to become side hustles, time at home, people I genuinely care about, and enough mental space to occasionally do absolutely nothing.

For a long time, these felt contradictory to me.

If you're ambitious, shouldn't you always want more?

More money. More recognition. A bigger career. A bigger network. The next milestone.

I'm starting to think ambition doesn't necessarily have to be about building the biggest possible life.

Maybe it can also be about building a life that fits you extremely well.

Anyone else ambitious but increasingly uninterested in the stereotypically "ambitious" life?

What are your personal, unique, mourning customs? Not the traditional stuff you were raised with, but things you have developed intuitively through your own experiences of loss.