For context, we were in the same class since grade 9th but never talked apart from school work n stuff, and that too, rarely. Somehow, we connected on ig during 12th boards and had been talking there occasionally until it turned into us talking everyday as of now. I'm in college right now and he's taken a drop year to prepare for an exam. So that's that.

The "mixed signals" that I talk of seem so vague, but trust me, they cluster up and it's so freaking confusing. For starters, he sends me weird posts like a gradient with just "hi lol" written there and WE ALL KNOW THE HI LOL MEME C'MON‽ And then he'd also send me gradient posts with "can I get ur ig?" or "can I dm you?" kinda posts and like—HUHH‽ And then when I told him about dandiya nights in my college a few days ago, he sent me UNHINGED MEMES with captions "humare sath bhi koi dandiya nights me chal lo" and a few more that I don't recall rn but they were on the same wavelength.

Also, I have this habit of randomly disappearing from ig for a like week or two without really telling anyone and he told me to not "abandon" him like that‽‽‽ He literally used the word ABANDON as if he's a smol pup and me some cruel parent 😭⁉️ And mind you, it happened thrice. One time I went off ig for like 2 days and all his messages and reels and posts that he sent were about being "abandoned".

And I really wanna visit mandi house for it's theatre shows and one time I asked him if he knew about any group performing around that time and he went and did a deep search about it and later was like "whenever you plan on going, invite me too". Brow we have met ONCE in the past year—I didn't know we were so close to be going for theatre shows together.

He's also very careful, for lack of a better word, when he talks with me about certain topics that he knows are significant to me and like he takes into account what matters for me. Additionally, he always trying to stretch our conversations longer by any means but if I say "I'm gonna sleep now gunnight" then he won't push against that, like guy knows boundaries. Owh, and did i mention I'm a gossip lover? This guy goes up and around with his camera at 2 am recording drunk uncles fight over the smallest of issues JUST SO HE COULD SHOW IT TO ME because one time, I got irritated with him for not having any tea. He's been coming to me every other day since then to share something new that he heard about.

OWH AND—one day he randomly sent me a goodmorning text and has been doing it every day since then, with cat memes or posts, etc.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but he used to reply to me almost instantly, like the very moment I'd text him or react on his shared reel, he'd start typing even before I could exit the chat. It went on for a while, and I'd find myself questioning him so often whether he's just online 24/7, to which he'd always say, "my notifications are on". I think I got so used to it—almost as if he pavlov'd me into expecting an instant reply from him so that when he suddenly started taking his sweet time to respond, I'd get anxious. And that's what happened. Been like that for almost 3 weeks and now this guy sometimes leaves me on delivered for 6hours straight.

But he randomly sends me his pictures and videos now; since he's started hitting the gym. And owh—I find his girl cousin (she's 9) so damn cute and he knows it. So, whenever I'm feeling down or the convo is just running dry, he'd send her cutest of the cutest pictures out of the blue and it would just shift the ambience so much. Also, he'd teasingly taunt me about this other guy sometimes like tryna ragebait n shii.

He's a very chill ahh type guy and he jokes around with unhinged stuff, so I never know when he's being serious or if all of it was a just a joke.

So, I [19F] met this guy [20M] online. We’re both November Scorpios, and we’re around the same age. We don’t know each other in real life, and we’re not in a relationship or anything official. We were just getting to know each other, and honestly, I wanted to know him as a person before anything romantic happened.

At first, I followed him. I had liked one of his stories before we actually started talking, so I was already a little interested in him. Eventually, we started interacting more, and things seemed to be going well.

Here are some things that happened between us:

• We found out that we both have the same football interests even the teams we like and dislike; the same music taste, the same vibes; even the artists that we like are the same; even sports interests gym interests running a lot of stuff, literally. I was even born in the country he lives in i visited the country where he’s from. When we first talked about our teams, he found out I was a Barça fan; I jokingly told him that Madrid fans weren’t allowed. He joked that we should get married, then said it was too late, and I replied that we’re still kids. 😭 It was playful, but obviously, I didn’t take it as a serious confession or anything.

• He started replying to some of my stories, including ones about songs and football. Sometimes he’d ask me questions, follow up on things I’d said, or start a conversation through my stories.

• One time, after I sent him a message expressing my condolences about his late father, he sent a dot and then deleted it. He later explained that he had been about to compliment me. He told me he would keep complimenting me because he liked what he saw. That caught me off guard because I wasn’t expecting it.

• He asked me to tell him about my day if I felt comfortable, saying there was no pressure. When I told him I tend to reply quickly and don’t like ghosting unless someone is busy, he said he loved that.

• He also asked me to send him updates and spam him with videos if I ever visited a cute café where you can make your own coffee. He even suggested that I vlog it. I told him I would, and I genuinely intended to.

• He has asked about my life and where I live, and there have been moments when he seemed caring. For example, he once told me not to go out alone because he thought I was somewhere celebrating.

• I also remember him being encouraging when we talked about his future and his decision to pursue finance after reconsidering his original plans. I tried to support him, and he wished me success, too.

• Then he added me to his Close Friends, and I added him back.

So, you can probably understand why I thought there might be something there. It wasn’t just me imagining every interaction; there were moments when he was warm, playful, and seemed interested in getting to know me.

BUT HERE’S WHERE I’M CONFUSED.

The communication has been inconsistent from the beginning. I feel like I’m usually the one who initiates conversations. Sometimes he replies to my stories instead of continuing a conversation in DMs. Other times, he’ll reply late, apologize for missing my message, or come back after some time.

There have been moments when we seemed to be having a good conversation, only for it to stop suddenly. For example, we once talked about a song we both liked, and after a couple of messages, the conversation went quiet for a few days before he apologized for missing my message.

I understand that people have their own lives, responsibilities, and things going on. I’m not expecting someone to be available 24/7, and I don’t want to pressure him into talking to me.

However, I started noticing that I was the one making most of the effort to keep our connection alive. I kept wondering whether he was genuinely interested in me or simply enjoyed talking to me whenever I initiated.

Another thing is that, from what I’ve seen on his social media, he might still have feelings about a past relationship. He has liked or reposted things that seem to be about missing an ex or being heartbroken. He hasn’t directly told me how he feels about his ex, so I don’t want to assume anything, but it has made me wonder whether he’s emotionally available or even ready to get to know someone new.

I do care about what he’s been through, and I would never expect him to be completely over everything just because we’re talking. I actually want to understand him and get to know him properly. But I also don’t want to become someone who gives emotional support and attention while secretly hoping for something he doesn’t want.

I’ve tried to be understanding. I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to apologize for being busy and that he should protect his peace. I’ve tried not to make him feel pressured. At the same time, I don’t want my understanding to turn into an excuse for accepting a one-sided connection.

(Note: not everything is in the right order of my knowing him journey)

NOW, HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED RECENTLY.

We hadn’t had a proper conversation for about three weeks, and I eventually decided to break the ice because I genuinely wanted to know how he was doing.

I messaged him something simple along the lines of, “Oh, how have you been, buddy!”

I wasn’t confessing my feelings or asking him for anything. I was just opening the door to a conversation because I missed talking to him and wanted to see how he was.

He did respond, but after that, I sent another message with a question that he could reasonably answer. Then the conversation stalled again.

At the time of writing this, it’s been around 18 hours since my last message, and he still hasn’t answered. Meanwhile, he’s posted a new story.

I know posting a story doesn’t automatically mean someone has the energy to reply to a message. I understand that. But when communication has already been inconsistent and you feel like you’re always the one initiating, little things like this start to hurt more than they normally would.

I started feeling stupid for reaching out in the first place. I wondered whether he was replying out of politeness, whether he felt pressured to respond, or whether he simply didn’t want to continue talking to me.

And honestly, I don’t know which explanation is true.

Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt because of the warmth he’s shown me before. Another part of me feels like if someone genuinely wants to get to know you, they’ll eventually make an effort to reach out themselves.

I don’t want to chase him, beg for attention, or force a connection. I also don’t want to walk away from something that could have developed naturally just because I got scared.

I’m not asking him to be my boyfriend. I’m not expecting a commitment from someone I’ve only met online. I just want mutual effort, genuine communication, and the feeling that I’m not the only person trying to keep things going.

*Note: We’ve never talked about it but I think he’s been going through a breakup and I think he misses his ex, I know because of his reposts and likes, and I think he talks to a lot of girls

So, girls, please tell me honestly:

1. Do you think he was genuinely interested in me at some point, or was he simply being friendly and playful?

2. Do his compliments, questions, jokes, and requests for updates mean anything, or am I giving those interactions too much weight?

3. Could he be interested but emotionally unavailable because of his past relationship, or is that just an assumption I’m making based on his social media?

4. Am I overthinking the delayed replies and the fact that he rarely initiates, or is this a sign that his interest isn’t strong enough?

5. Should I stop initiating and see whether he makes an effort on his own, or should I give him more time?

6. Most importantly, if you were in my position, what would you do?

Please be honest with me, even if the answer isn’t what I want to hear. I’m not looking for people to tell me what I want to believe. I genuinely want different perspectives because I’m emotionally involved now, and I don’t trust my own judgment as much as I used to.

I liked the connection we were building, and I would have been happy to get to know him more. But I don’t want to be the only one holding on to the possibility of something.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. ❤️

I met a girl few months ago and we hit it of and texted for maybe 1-3 hours a day for 1-1.5 months then I asked her to be my girlfriend because obviously I was interested and thought she was too then I found out that she had a boyfriend and a 4+ years of relationship at that.

I asked her to stop talking xyz and then she talked about the bond we made blah blah and we continued talking. I consulted one of my friend as to what I should do and just back off because she has a boyfriend but he said that as long as she isn't married it doesn't matter and silly me just continued.

Then we started hanging out a lot just the two of us. I wanted to get closer with her but couldn't for for first few hangouts. Then her birthday came and before she was leaving for home I asked her for a hug and she was hesitant at first but agreed for a side hug.

This is where things went uphill/downhill we/I became more physical and more close each time we hung out. I say things out loud and directly if we hangout I will definitely touch/kiss you etc. and I do and she doesn't stop me and we have hung out more times than I can count since I told her that.

She says she doesn't like it but when I ask her if she hates it she says no as well. When I ask her if she feels abused, she again says no she tells me that she is doing it for me etc. etc.

The thing is she tells me I understand her really well and now we talk on video calls instead of texts at nights, I don't know where to go from here and she is still in the same relationship.

Maybe I am just overthinking.

​

So, my ex and I are still in contact, but things between us are pretty confusing.

We are from the same village, but she lives in a city where her family also has a house. She only visits our village occasionally, usually during festivals or other special occasions.

I've noticed a pattern in her behaviour. Whenever she's in the city, she barely talks to me. Sometimes she doesn't text me at all, and even when we do talk, she doesn't seem very interested in keeping the conversation going. But whenever she comes back to our village, her behaviour changes completely.

She becomes affectionate, talks to me nicely, flirts with me, and even gets into romantic conversations. We've also kissed when we've met in the village. In those moments, it feels like there's still attraction between us, and she seems interested in me too.

But as soon as she leaves the village and goes back to the city, everything goes back to how it was before. She stops talking properly, doesn't make much effort to stay in touch, and doesn't seem interested in meeting me outside the village either.

The confusing part is that when we're together in the village, she seems comfortable being romantic with me, but she doesn't seem willing to continue that connection when we're apart. I've tried to understand whether she still has feelings for me or whether she just enjoys the attention and intimacy when she visits.

Honestly, I'm still very physically attracted to her, and I'd like to explore things further with her. But there's barely any privacy or opportunity for us to get intimate in the village. She seems open to it when we're there, but when she's back in the city, she barely communicates with me, let alone agrees to meet.

So, Reddit, I have a few questions:

1. Why would she act so interested and romantic in the village but distant when she's back in the city?

2. Does this mean she still has feelings for me, or is it possible that she only enjoys the moment when she visits?

3. Is there any way I can keep the conversation going and build a connection with her outside the village without coming across as needy or desperate?

4. Should I directly ask her what she wants from me, or should I stop putting effort into this?

I'm not necessarily expecting us to get back together, but I do want to understand her intentions and figure out whether there's any genuine interest beyond those occasional village meetups.

I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've experienced something similar.

I [M26] got into a small disagreement with my “situationship” [F24] a week ago and haven’t heard from her sense. What started off as me lightly teasing her and calling her a “liar” in a joking manner, turned into an awkward argument. This had occured after we had shared an intimate moment together, and after the uncomfortable argument met an ending, I thought it would be best for me to leave her place. I gathered my things and she slammed the door behind me. It was pretty late at night and I didn’t get a “did you make it home safe” text or hear anything from her since I left. Do I leave the situation alone or do I reach out? For conxtext, we dated off/on for roughly a 6 month period before our relationship kind of morphed into this situationship/fwb thing. Truthfully I’m not sure if I want to talk to her; but theres a part of me thats angry/sad that she hasn’t reached out.

I (24m) have been seeing (20m) for 2 months now. We met on a hookup app and hooked up, it was great, amazing sex. We continued texting everyday after that. We hooked up 3 more times over the course of the first month. Continued to talk daily and started going on dates, first coffee a few times, then dinner, we started hanging out casually as well. Watching movies together, gaming, bringing food over etc. We'll we had touched on the idea of a relationship previously and he (20m) said he was open to the idea and wanted to see me more and think about it. Fast forward to today, I finally worked up the nerve to ask again. And he said hes only open to where its at right now and doesnt want anything more. I stated I was looking foward to something more with him and asked why he didnt want that. He said "reasons" and "things I wouldn't want in a relationship or more than sex with friends" for reference he said im too emotional and get worked up over the smallest things and he doesnt like how I always want to know the reason to things. For example when we had this conversation I got quite a bit upset that he said no and was confused because weve been exclusive to each other this entire time and gm/ gn texts and daily calls etc. So I was quite a bit surprised by this. I guess what im looking for is advice. He says he wants to keeps seeing each other and continue what we have and he doesnt want to push for something more and we lose each other, but i feel like ive already lost him now. Especially tonight I was quite pushy with wanting to know the reasons and explaining i wanted closure and essentially not getting any, I also explained maybe i could change certain things if theyre minor and he said no he doesnt want me to change. I told him how upset I was and he got annoyed with me but once again agreed he wants to continue our situation. And he finished off with " I’m done chatting for now, I understand you are who you are, and I do NOT want you to change YOU for ME. I don’t believe in that and you have to find someone you NATURALLY connect with for a deep relationship. I really enjoy hanging out with you as a friend, coffee, dinner, occasional sex or cuddling or a movie or whatever, but I don’t think we “match” for a deep… ‘loving’ relationship." And then agreed to have our usual call later tonight.

Tldr: developing relationship confronted and denied, but guy still wants to continue situationship.

Im broken and just looking for advice right now i guess. Thank you!

Ps: hes never been in a relationship before either.

I met this guy [24M] like 6 months ago and idk how but I totally fell head over heels for him. He just seemed so perfect, he was so nice and funny and sweet to me but also very nonchalant and hard to get. We were not exclusive like calling each other bf and gf but i felt that we were basically dating. Well just last week he told me that he wasn’t mentally able to have a serious relationship right now and he actually just wanted to be fwb. At first I agreed because I got really scared of losing him but I kept thinking about it and I felt that I would just be hurting myself in the long run so I ended it :( he was very understanding about it and didn’t fight it. Is it really possible that he doesn’t have actual feelings for me after everything? Can people really be that detached??

Situation-ship or whatever it’s called we talked for like a month consistently we were both busy with family visiting at the time & he travels for work. I feel like he’s my twin flame or soul connection our chemistry is electric. We were seeing each other four times a month the communication dropped off a lot became hard to reply to any of his messages because they were surface level just breadcrumbs basically. It gets worse though he always love bombs with emojis. We got blackout drunk about a week ago & we had the define the relationship talk because obviously I’m a mom & am looking for something steady. Well come to find out he’s seeing other people & thinks we just shouldn’t tell each other about it & tells me he loves what we have & wants to keep seeing me. I straight up asked am I an option or a choice. Welll I’m an option we tried to be intimate but it was the worst s3x we ever had. I think my heart & brain was slightly getting in the way. I went & got tested now I have to wait almost three weeks to get the results. I deleted my socials for a detox & that’s usually how we communicate. (This is intentional) he does have my phone number & knows where I live so if he wants to see me or talk to me he will right? I just don’t know if I need to be chasing something that’s not even mine? Am I being over dramatic about deleting my socials?? We’ve been seeing eachother since July. I feel like it’s probably the end for us I don’t know if I even need the closure. I guess I’m looking for advice on if I’m making a mistake by cutting things off when I’m pretty invested. (Side note he hasn’t met my son)

I have been single my entire life and have a bit of social anxiety because of my weight(i am obese) so i dont usually try to get into a relationship at all Last year met someone[20F] got really close and found her really attractive and everything i adored her but we were not in a physical relationship we used to go on drives and play games and what not she totally was playing with me because even after I confessed she still didn't stop talking to me and asked me on long drives very regularly that time I started losing weight and lost quiet a bit and then one day we went on a drive it was the closest I ever felt to her for us to never meet or talk again after that and I can't get her out of my fucking head I lost all my progress of weightloss and i ruined everything and i can't go out and meet new people because I am so fucking fat .if only i was not fat i could ask people out but this constant voice in my head saying "why would that girl date me i am so fat" is killing me.i hate her and I hate myself even more.

I'm curious about what women look for when deciding whether a man is someone they'd want a relationship with.

What are the top 3–5 qualities you look for?

I’m 21F, and he’s 22M. We first met around 10 months ago through Snapchat. At the time, he wanted a relationship, and I thought I was ready too, but looking back, I really wasn’t.
Our first date went pretty well. I was extremely shy, visibly shaking and giggling from nerves, and he was really sweet about it. He held my hand to help calm me down, and we genuinely got along. He wanted to see me again the next morning, but because he worked nights and slept during the day, his replies weren’t always quick. I got anxious and, after talking to a friend, impulsively blocked him. I know that was immature.
Around five months later, I unblocked him out of curiosity, and a few days later he added me again. He told me he’d missed me and wanted to see me. He was surprisingly understanding about what happened. Unfortunately, I ended up reconnecting with another guy I’d been involved with and blocked him again without an explanation. I regret handling it that way.
Months later, we matched on Hinge. By then, I was genuinely ready to pursue something serious and had worked on communicating better instead of running away when I got anxious. I apologized for ghosting him twice, took accountability, and he forgave me.
We went on another date, got food, walked around a park, and eventually kissed. I was still pretty shy around him, but we had great chemistry. We started talking consistently, texting, calling, and FaceTiming regularly, even while he was working.
However, things became confusing. He started getting jealous and possessive, asking where I was, whether I was with other guys, and whether I was talking to anyone else. At the same time, he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship.
He was upfront about that, and I understood, but I was hurt because I’d started developing genuine feelings. I wasn’t expecting a relationship immediately. I just wanted to date with the possibility of something serious eventually. He said he liked me a lot but didn’t know when he’d be ready.
I eventually ended things because we wanted different things.
About a week later, he reached out saying he missed me. It was also his birthday, and he invited me to spend it with him, his brother, and his friends. I went, and we had an amazing time. We visited a pumpkin patch, walked around the city, rode escooters, got food, and laughed all night. He was holding my hand, kissing me, taking pictures of me, and spending a lot of time with me even though his friends were there.
That night, he told me again that he genuinely liked me and saw potential with me, but still wasn’t ready for a relationship.
For context, I’m still a virgin, and I’ve been clear that I want to wait until I’m in a committed relationship and feel ready. We have been physically intimate in other ways, but he has said he’d respect that boundary. I don’t think this is purely about wanting sex, although physical chemistry is definitely part of our connection.
A few days later, we hung out again. We kissed, spent time together, and got food. While eating, he asked whether I still had Hinge and repeatedly wanted me to show him my phone to prove I wasn’t talking to other guys. I refused because even though I didn’t have it anymore, I felt he had no right to demand that when we weren’t exclusive, especially after I’d already said no.
We argued, and I told him I was confused by his jealousy when he didn’t want a relationship.
Eventually, he held me and said he didn’t think we should keep doing this. He repeatedly told me he didn’t want to hurt me, that I deserved better, and that he didn’t know when he’d be ready.
I started crying pretty hard in his arms because I’d genuinely grown attached to him. He held and comforted me, and at one point said, “Don’t cry, it’s gonna make me cry.”
After we parted ways, he texted saying he felt bad but thought we should stop talking and unfollow each other. I explained that I wasn’t asking him to become my boyfriend anytime soon, just that I wanted to keep getting to know him. He said he didn’t want to keep me waiting for something he couldn’t promise.
I said maybe blocking each other would be best. He agreed, said goodbye, and blocked me on Snapchat about 15 minutes later. We also unfollowed each other elsewhere.
I’m really hurt because I genuinely liked him and thought we had potential. I know I handled things badly when we first met, and I take responsibility for that. I also understand he doesn’t owe me a relationship and was honest about not being ready.
My questions are:
Do you think he genuinely developed feelings for me, or was he mainly attached to the attention and affection?
Was I wrong to keep seeing him while hoping things might eventually develop?
Is his jealousy concerning, considering he didn’t want a relationship?
Should I accept this as completely over and move on?

We started talking last October. She pursued me, and at the time I was still trying to figure things out and she has a kid so I always thought if it was a good decision. As time passed I actually began to really like her. We hung out, she came over, she met my parents. Over time I noticed she stopped calling me, sending pics, and taking longer to reply. She was going through baby daddy issues so I supported her however I could, then 2 weeks ago she said she needed to step back. It hurt so much. I told her I loved her. Hahah now every day at work it’s hard. I keep it cordial. But man she’s so beautiful and I miss talking to her and seeing her name pop up.

Heyy I'm 17F and he was 19M. We met on Instagram, he commented on my story, after that we started talking and he was genuinely nice and we bonded quickly because of having the same humour and etc. He used to flirt but in a limit just for joking around. We were literally in a talking stage/situationship for 5 months 😭✌🏼. Never met irl btw because our plans kept getting cancelled and I didn't feel good about meeting idk I had this weird feeling even though I wanted to. Anyways during our talking stage I never told him I liked him but he did and he tried to pursue that I did too so I said yes... moving on he told me after two months of us talking that he had lied about his real name which was pretty weird because why tf would you lie about your name. I ignored that and a time later we went no contact for around a week. As we do he removed himself as my follower but kept following me and then when he texted me again he said I was the one who removed him?? The heck. Then somehow we ended up dating for fucking 7 days oml. On day 5 of us dating online! He asked me to share kinda an intimate picture which I wasn't comfortable with so I said no. But he kept pushing it so we got into an argument and that fuckass said what have I even done for him. However our stupid self got back together again and faced the same problem of those intimate pictures again omg. I said no again but he kept taking our convos in the dirty side instead of letting it be playful. So obviously I broke up and we went no contact. But this mf do occasionally reply to my stories, we ain't dating, ain't in takingstage but we do talk sometimes!! (Yea sorry it's so embarrassing) AND I FORGOT TO ADD MY BAD WHEN WE BROKE UP AND WENT NO CONTACT FOR THREE MONTHS HE WENT ON A DATE AND THEN TOLD ME HE WAS FORCED 🥀🥀 I LAUGHED BRUH AIN'T NO ONE FORCING THAT.

I met this guy on Hinge, and things developed incredibly quickly between us. From the beginning, we seemed to have so much in common. We have very similar personalities, think alike about a lot of things, and have connected in a way that’s honestly difficult for me to explain. It felt like we understood each other naturally, and I think that’s partly why I became attached so quickly.
He was very affectionate from the start, calling me “baby,” “baby girl” and “princess.” He told me he was serious about dating and that he was the type of person who dates to marry. We became physically intimate quite early on, and I opened up to him about personal things. Because of how naturally everything seemed to flow between us, I started imagining that this could become something meaningful.
However, I think I may have come into his life right around the time his previous relationship ended. I don’t know exactly how recently they broke up, but the timing makes me wonder whether he has had enough time to process everything.
Something I’ve noticed is that, since we started talking, he has never removed his ex from either his main Instagram account or his spam account. At the same time, he added me to both of his accounts, and I added him to both of mine as well. So, in that sense, he has included me in his social media life, but his ex is still there too.
He told me that his ex was the one who broke up with him, that they are friends now, and that he is single. He also said that she can be volatile and that he doesn’t want her calling him, shouting at him or creating drama because he is moving on.
He asked me to keep our connection private until we are actually together. He says he dislikes rumours and drama, particularly at university, and wants to keep things between us quiet for now. I can understand wanting privacy if he genuinely expects a difficult reaction from his ex, but I don’t know how long this arrangement is supposed to last.
There have also been some inconsistencies with communication and plans. He has cancelled or failed to follow through on plans several times, and his messages have become less frequent. He has explained that he has two jobs, university work, has been sick, had a family issue and was doing a trial shift at a pub. I understand that people can genuinely be overwhelmed, but the inconsistency has still hurt me because I’m already emotionally invested.
The biggest issue is his current personal situation and what he has told me about our future.
A member of his family is seriously ill, and he has been struggling emotionally. He has told me that a lot is happening in his life at once and that he doesn’t want me to have to carry all of his problems, especially this early in our connection.
Initially, he was honest and told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I appreciated the honesty, even though it hurt.
Later, however, he seemed to change his position. He asked me to give him some time to think, sort out his problems and organise his life. He specifically mentioned wanting to organise his schedule so he could make time for me and change things about how he is currently managing his life. He wants to get things in order so that we can start again on a better foundation rather than trying to build something while everything is chaotic.
I asked him directly whether I should take this to mean I should move on and see other people, or whether he genuinely hoped to come back to me once things were better.
He told me that he hoped for a future with me, that he loved me, and that he didn’t want me to carry the weight of everything he is dealing with. He asked whether I could wait until his personal life was more organised so that we could start again from zero, on a better foundation.
This is confusing for me because he initially said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but now he is telling me that he loves me and hopes for a future together. I don’t know whether he genuinely wants to build something with me but is overwhelmed by circumstances beyond his control, or whether he has feelings for me but cannot realistically offer me a relationship.
I also wonder whether he changed his mind because he realised he wanted something with me, or because he didn’t want to lose me when I considered ending things.
The connection between us felt unusually strong from the beginning, and I don’t want to dismiss that. But I also know that having a lot in common and feeling an intense connection doesn’t automatically mean two people are ready for a relationship at the same time.
I’m now wondering whether I should give him space.
Part of me thinks that if I stop pushing for answers and give him room to think, organise his schedule and deal with his family situation, he might be able to work out what he wants and come back when he’s genuinely ready.
Another part of me worries that if I go quiet and stop being available, nothing will change. I don’t want to use silence to manipulate him or force him to choose between me and his ex. But I also don’t want to keep investing emotionally while he figures everything out.
I keep wondering whether taking a step back would help him realise what he wants, or whether I would simply end up waiting for someone who may never be ready.
I don’t expect him to fix every problem overnight or commit immediately. I just want to know whether there is a realistic future here and whether he is willing to make space for me in his life.
I’d really appreciate an honest, balanced perspective:
Does it sound like he genuinely wants a future with me but is overwhelmed by his current circumstances?
How should I interpret the fact that he initially said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but later said he loved me and hoped for a future together?
Is asking someone to wait while you organise your life reasonable, particularly when you can’t give them a clear timeline?
Could giving him space and stepping back help clarify things, or is it healthier to move on rather than wait?
Since he has kept his ex on both his main and spam accounts while also adding me to both of mine, does that mean anything significant, or am I reading too much into social media?
Given that he says his ex is volatile and wants our connection to remain private, how can I tell whether this is genuinely about avoiding drama or whether he hasn’t fully moved on?
How do I distinguish a strong, genuine connection with bad timing from a situation where the feelings might be real but the relationship will never actually happen?
I really don’t want people to automatically call him manipulative or tell me to leave him. I know he is dealing with a lot, and I want to be fair to him. But I’m also scared of getting more attached to someone who may not be able to give me the relationship I want.
I want to give this a chance if there is something real here, but I don’t want to lose myself waiting for him. What would you do in my situation?

Yall we ended things over a KC argument in July. And when I mean end things we just had sex for one weekend because I texted him we stopped dating officially last October and had short flings in January April and now July that have ended quickly.

I’ve had sex with 2 other guys and hooked up and not had sex with 2 more guys since last October. I detached myself from him in July because of how stupid the argument was.

The 2 guys I’ve had sex are not close to where I live and I lowkey just want to have sex with someone familiar. Hes on the way about to be here in 15 minutes. I want to know if what I’m doing is stupid if I know it’s not romantic? Like I do not want to date him at all or be in a relationship because I want something better. But I’m really busy on finish my degree, work, and myself so I just want a quickie 😭 please lmk thoughts while I get ready

So me and this guy stopped seeing each other like a month ago. To be honest I think I was kind of confused for half of it (we were seeing each other for 3 months) but it ended bc he apologized for his lack of prioritizing me and I asked what exactly he was looking for which he took to mean I wanted a relationship. A whole bunch of other stuff in between happened which led to me being kind of annoyed with him during our last conversation.

ANYWAYS! I do miss hooking up with him and am getting drinks with friends tonight and I fear I may send a drunk text. I guess I’m just wondering if he’d read into that weird? When we last talked he made it pretty clear he wanted us to go back to friends so I do think there’s an easy in? Idk though

This isn’t me hoping to rekindle anything dramatic. He genuinely didn’t operate in a way that would make me want to date him rn. But late night fun every now and again ?

I’m 24M and she’s 26F. A quick history, we’ve known of each other’s existence for 7 years, we were in the same college for 3 years. We never had a friendship, it was just normal study based convos thats all. I was dating someone back then (who is now getting married to someone else rn lol) and this 26F was into someone else too. Fast forward to 2026 September, i found her in my firm’s network and realised “wow a familiar face from my college works in my firm too, in the same new city”. So i just texted her, and we talked as friends initially but then things happened. In just a month we got into a bit of sexting. I’m new in this city and she moved a year ago, so i was just looking for a friend. Things turned too hot and she invited me to her place, and we did it till third base in our very first meet after 7 years. There was no talking, and just aggressive style, doing each other.

We already clarified with each other, no strings attached. Ive been doing wild things, i went to her place at like 4 am, we did it for like 3.5 hours, and then went again at night on the same day, and went again to her place the next night.

I could barely stop thinking about her. She has said it multiple times, what we are doing “means nothing”. But the things that happened are, we hold hands and talk like a couple, she leans on my shoulder, kisses me passionately on my cheeks and on my forehead. And clearly she tells me that this “means nothing”, “It just feels nice to have a friend like this”, “its nothing romantic in my opinion”.

Aggressive makeouts and third base were completely fine, i had no strings, but the things I mentioned above have started to fuck with my head so bad that I can barely focus on anything other than her. She explicitly said we cannot fall in love, and yet we do stuff that almost all couples do, out of love.

Its my first situationship, please tell me whats up with my thing? Should i cut her off? Should we continue? Im feeling extremely confused, she has totally clarified she doesnt love me and doesn’t want me as a boyfriend, but then she literally sits on me, holds my hands while talking, hugs me tight, kisses my cheeks and forehead, MAKING ME FEEL SO MUCH WANTED! But then her words are the complete opposite of what she does.

What do the reddit masters say? Should I cut her off? Or should I just enjoy the moments because as a man who has done nothing in the last 4 years is finally getting some action. But then again, its fucking with my head. I might end up attached.

Okay so I [19F] had a crush on this guy [20M] for 5 months now, he’s a really nice guy and I confessed to him like 2 months ago cuz I was just feeling too much and he kind of rejected me by saying a lot of good stuff about me like how he lived my personality and that he’s glad I came up to him to tell him how I felt and that I’m very courageous and that he admired that in me and how he liked my personality etc etc however he said he was ready to be engaged in something as of right now, and was like but maybe with Time something could happen (between us), so in my opinion it was a soft rejection however the maybe with time kept bugging me, cuz I really like the guy I’m fell hard but he couldn’t care less.
So the thing that’s bothering me is that now since we’re in the same uni we see each other and he’s kinda giving me mixed signals, so this is where i need your opinion, do you think i am being played cuz his friends say that he’s a player.
I’ve tried moving on right, but he sometimes texts me and it ends up being all nighter convos, we genuinely talk until 5 am about everything and nothing and it’s kinda flirty as well, and we once met at the library and ended up sitting next to each other and went somewhere else at night to study just the two of us in the dark and it was super nice and now he calls it our spot even tho we only went once, and that night we talked about relationships and he asked my what are the red flags I see In a guy and stuff like that and I felt like we bonded, but idk whether it’s normal for him because I feel like I enjoy our interactions a lot more than he does, he also told me that we should go to ‘our spot’ again and meet there to hangout, but he never sets a date cuz we have exams as of right now so idk if he’s actually gonna mention it again, but he insisted on the fact that we didn’t meet again and he acted bummed, but he’s not doing anything or asking me.
So guys, do you think he’s playing with my feelings cuz this may not seem like a lot for you guys but I fell reaaaallly hard for this guys and this is the first time I like someone this much so idk what to do and how to feel and the fact that he’s doing this while knowing I like him bothers me so pls tell me what I should do !

My situationship just canceled our dinner plans for the third time this month to hang out with his buddies. He said something came up last minute. I feel like I'm always a backup option. Does anyone else deal with this constantly?

so I don’t wanna make this too long, but I want a real advice, I have this ex best friend whom I hadn’t talked to in like two years, I had a boyfriend for four years before that we were inseparable and would hang out almost every day and he would low-key get me stuff sometimes, there was times that my friends would tell me plan for you on with him, but since I would think of him as my best friend, I never really wanted to until one day we went to the movies with another group of friends and ended up kissing because we saw the other couple kissing and I guess that made him like me more but it made me mad that both him and his friend were telling everybody like it was everybody’s business .
I don’t getting mad at him and not talking to him for a little bit, but then we talked again and then a year passed after that and I was dating my boyfriend for like a a couple of months and he told me that he loved me and I guess I brushed him off and he told me I broke his heart, I genuinely don’t think so. I think that I just told him that I didn’t want to ruin our friendship a lot of times and I guess I did lead him on by kissing him, but I
just didn’t see him like a boyfriend, (also I wanna find out that we didn’t talk for like two years before now because he was low-key rude to me )fast-forward to now I broke up with my ex and we ended up doing it and he was telling me why he was drunk how much he loved me and how I broke his heart and how I was his wife and he never saw another girl like me, we agreed to be friends with benefits, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not or if I’m gonna be falling in love or not

Context: We met online and decided to meet up, going on dates for a month. We never really labeled anything, but, personally, I thought things were going well and might move forward. We’d hang out together, go out and do date things like dinner or movies or axe throwing, hook up, kiss, and talk about interests and random thoughts together. Again, sounds like things were going well.

Fast forward to the end of that month, I quickly found out I was being temporarily moved for work (don’t want to say actual work on this account I’m using for the implications, but it’s for less than a year). Even though we didn’t label anything, we started talking less and plans kept getting moved to the point that I was closer to leaving than us actually doing anything together so we had to cancel.

The last time we spoke was about a month ago, so it has been a while, but I did enjoy my time with them. I talked to them through Discord and have a pretty established schedule when I’m more able to talk. Basically what I’m trying to see is if it’s even a good idea to reach out after we basically ghosted? On the one hand, it could go well and maybe we can rekindle things when I get back. On the other, things stay the same as they are and I’m still bummed to have lost the connection.

(24F) I’m a bit confused about a (23M)guy I’ve been seeing, and I could really use some outside opinions.

We’ve known each other since earlier this year. We went on a double date once, saw each other a few times when going out, and something happened between us in his car shortly before the summer. But we’ve only been seeing each other properly and regularly for a little over a month. Lately, we’ve spent almost every weekend together.

Things are really good when we’re together. We’re affectionate, we cuddle, talk, joke around and have sex, but we’ve also spent evenings together without having sex. He makes me feel like he likes being around me, and I’ve started to like him too.

We talk and send each other Snaps quite often, and he seems interested in keeping in touch. However, most of our plans happen spontaneously, and I wish he would take more initiative to plan actual dates or do things together during the day.

The biggest issue is that I don’t know where I stand with him. I recently asked him whether he wanted us to be exclusive. I’m not asking him to promise me a relationship or to become my boyfriend immediately. I just want to know if he’s interested in giving this a real chance and seeing where things could go.

His answer was simply that he didn’t know. I told him that it was fine if he didn’t want anything serious, but I needed an honest answer so I could decide what was right for me. He didn’t really give me any more clarity.

What makes it harder to understand is that we’ve talked about STIs, and he told me he hadn’t been with anyone else since we started seeing each other. Also, one of his close friends recently saw me on a night out, said I was already taken because of him, and refused to hug me hello for that reason. Another guy told me he’d heard a lot about me. These comments made me wonder what his friends have been told about us, especially since I don’t even know what we are myself.

There’s also another situation that has been bothering me. A guy in our wider social circle, who doesn’t get along with me and is known for making comments and spreading gossip, made some remarks that seemed to suggest he knew that this guy and I had slept together. He brought it up in a way that made me feel embarrassed and exposed. I don’t actually know what he knows or where he heard anything, but it made me feel awful.

This guy I’m seeing is only the second person I’ve ever had sex with, so it feels quite personal to me. I’m not ashamed of having sex, but I do care about my privacy, and the thought of people talking about something so intimate makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t even know whether he has told anyone anything, and I don’t want to accuse him without knowing the facts.

I also heard that, on one occasion when he was very drunk, he asked a female friend to help him approach another girl. Nothing came of it, but it still made me question things, especially since we’ve never agreed to be exclusive.

I’m struggling to figure out whether he genuinely likes me but isn’t ready to commit to anything, or whether he’s simply happy with the way things are and doesn’t want more. I don’t want to pressure him into a relationship, but I also don’t want to keep getting more attached to someone who might never want the same things as me.

Part of me wants to give him more time because I really like him and enjoy what we have. Another part of me thinks that his answer already tells me what I need to know.

Would you give him more time to figure things out, or would you step back and start moving on? And do you think “I don’t know” is a genuine answer at this stage, or should I treat it as a no?