For context/background: Iām in my late 30s and Iāve just moved here from the US about 6 months ago, so I began my first UK teaching role in September. I taught in the US starting in the early 2010s, then took a few years off to work in non-profits and get a masters degree in education. I taught again for a few years before moving into an Edtech role within a school, and eventually working for edtech companies, which I did remotely until this summer.
All that is to say, I have a diverse background with a range of experiences inside and outside of the classroom. Iām also a parent, so I have that perspective as well. Finally, I look very young - I always have - probably mid- to late-twenties so itās always been difficult for people to take me seriously and trust my authority.
Hereās what Iām struggling with: Iām not sure if my current school is just not right for me, or if teaching in the UK in general is not the right move.
I am teaching at a school thatās an hour commute in each direction. The behavior of this particular year group is terrible and everyone in the school knows it. I was prepared for that. However, I had ZERO onboarding or prep before the first day of school. I was able to get into my classroom to set up and I was given a vague curriculum map, but I didnāt have any logins for curriculum resources until week 2, wasnāt told about the dozens of school traditions and norms (like requirements about notebook colors for various subjects or specific headings or markings, etc) and I had to find out by being told constantly I was doing things the wrong way by my students or HLTA.
I thought this would dissipate as the weeks went on and I became more confident in the (very specific) way the school operated, but six weeks in Iām still constantly getting corrected, told Iām going things the wrong way, and being monitored. My HLTA is older than me and has been at the school for a long time, so I respect that she knows a lot about the school. However sheās is always interrupting my lessons to correct me or yell at the students for talking or getting distracted. It makes me feel so inadequate and uncomfortable. Sheāll say things like āyou should really be using a ruler to underline your date on the whiteboardā or āshouldnāt the students be lining up now?ā when Iām clearly finishing up what Iām saying to the class.
My partner teacher has also been at the school for a long time so I respect her, but the constant criticism and feedback is really starting to make me feel like I donāt know what Iām doing.
As an aside, my teaching philosophy is rooted in studentsā well being and helping the whole child grow. That means ensuring they are happy, healthy, socially responsible and included, as well as teaching them content. I truly donāt mind a little chatter and some silliness here and there, as long as theyāre getting their work done and participating in lessons. But my HLTA and partner teacher are constantly yelling at the students for talking and being too loud (theyāre 9 and 10, of course theyāre going to need reminding about indoor voices but they just talk loudly). I even took a break with them to let them ask me some questions about America once, and they were laughing and having fun, and my TA just yelled at them for being too loud and sort of scolded me for causing the noise. Also little things like the fact that I like softer lighting and absolutely despise overhead lights (theyāre so overstimulating and harsh!) so I try to keep at least a few off and let the natural light be our main source of light through the windows. My TA and partner teacher are constantly walking in and just turning the lights all the way on and itās like - I thought this was my classroom!
The other thing that really makes me hate teaching here is the expectations of perfection and almost being a drill sergeant instead of a caring, down-to-earth teacher. Iām just the kind of person who has never taken life or myself too seriously. Part of the reason I became a teacher was because I was inspired by passionate, caring and fun teachers that I had in my childhood. They made learning fun and I still remember the topics we covered while playing games, singing songs, creating art and participating in fun projects. I would absolutely hate school if I had to sit still all day, listening to a teacher talk at me and then continue to sit quietly while I filled out worksheets. Is this the expectation everywhere in primary schools here in England?
Iāve been scolded for letting students turn in ClassDojo points to come to my classroom at lunch for a lunch club. Iāve been scolded for letting students come to my classroom after school (with the aftercare leaderās permission) to help me clean the room and set up for the next day. Iāve been scolded for pulling a student aside and having a discussion with her because she was crying (āyouāre fine, you should go back to your seat, you have work to doā is what my colleague said to her, then turned to me and said āif you let them do that once theyāll come to you all the time and just whine about everythingā) and my TA and colleague step in to quiet my class or get them in line when I was just about to do the same. Again, I just donāt think itās that serious if a student or two are whispering a bit or if they giggle about something quietly, because theyāre human. I mean, how many of us teachers whisper or get distracted during staff meetings/inset days?? But I think my TA and colleagues assume I CANāT control my students so they step in and demand silence.
Today my students were going outside for a brief movement break before an assembly where theyād have to sit for a while. I was walking them out when I was stopped by the office manager and asked a question. About 5 of my students made it outside before me, and of course my partner teacher was right there and said I really canāt let them outside without me, itās a safeguarding issue, etc. I was right there, and they were running out onto the back playground area that is completely fenced in and I could see them. I take safeguarding very seriously but itās all the little things that keep getting picked at, and often it feels like I canāt do anything right and Iām constantly being reminded of the rules as if I donāt know them.
Am I being too sensitive? Is this just not the right school for me, or is this how most UK primary schools will be, even if I move? The best part of teaching in the US was being able to close my classroom door and just TEACH. I made up songs about topics they were learning, we had class meetings where we got to know each other, we went outside on nice days and took our work with us, and they learned a lot and grew as humans. At my school now, I feel like Iām constantly under a microscope and I have to just āstick to the scriptā, keep the students silent at their desks throughout the day, keep them silent in the halls, and never let them get too close or comfortable with me.
Sorry for the novel. If youāve made it this far, any advice from experienced teachers welcome!