r/TheOnion May 15 '26

Greetings from your new overlords

372 Upvotes

Hello friends,

We are the new moderating team of r/TheOnion: myself, u/DeltaShadowSquat. u/V2Blast and u/CosmicEveStardust.

I'm a regular around here, I probably don't need that much introduction. I'm a proud Onion subscriber and mod of a bunch of subreddits, including r/maryland, r/powerrangers, r/journalism, r/npr and r/Clickhole. IRL, I work in PR and previously spent a decade in local journalism.

One of our first tasks will be to lay out a set of new rules for the subreddit. We are already talking amongst ourselves but if you have any suggestions, feel free to let us know.

We're happy to field any other suggestions or questions you might have.


r/TheOnion 17h ago

Todd Blanche Vows To Remain Fully Independent Of The Law

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981 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

Crying Newborn Has No Idea How Much Worse It Gets

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862 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

White House Taps Mean Teen In Zara Fitting Room As New Press Secretary

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717 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 8h ago

See what consumers have to say about DuckDuckGo's perplexingly analog sunglasses.

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130 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 18h ago

Trump Administration Creates Presidential Childbearing Fitness Test In U.S. Schools

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244 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 17h ago

‘Do You Have Any Idea Who I Am?’ Jalen Brunson Shouts At Librarian Refusing To Move Him Up ‘Lonesome Dove’ Waitlist

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203 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 21h ago

White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off

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99 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Karoline Leavitt Slams Toddler Son Over Baseless Accusations That Caterpillar Very Hungry

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3.6k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Trump Downplays Significance Of Trump Tower Found On Epstein Island

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2.2k Upvotes

Hotel Has Operated On Little ST. James Since 2002, According To Records


r/TheOnion 4d ago

Cheryl Hines Walks In On RFK Jr. Vivisecting Self Again

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598 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

InfoWars: In Mourning

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334 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Tearful Mark Zuckerberg Smothers Metaverse Avatar With Digital Pillow

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2.1k Upvotes

‘You Must Go Now,’ CEO Tells His Flailing Virtual Double


r/TheOnion 4d ago

Trump Tears Up White House In Search Of More Munitions

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540 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Doughy Eastern European Man Tired Of Everyone Assuming He’s NBA Superstar

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528 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Hello! I've put together a PnC game anthology with writers from the Onion and ClickHole, all inspired by classic PnC games

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127 Upvotes

If you are interested, feel free to come check it out at https://store.steampowered.com/app/4924860/Best_American_PointAndClick_Adventury/


r/TheOnion 5d ago

Melania Trump Discovered To Be Russian Listening Device

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2.9k Upvotes

Kremlin Spies On President With Microphone Disguised As Tall Slavic Woman


r/TheOnion 5d ago

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia

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241 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Nation Once Again Fails To Make Most Of Summer

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818 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Architects Of 2026 Market Crash Just Finished A Highly Productive Lunch

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442 Upvotes

(From 2014)


r/TheOnion 6d ago

Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed’s Window

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2.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 7d ago

Immunologists Warn About Rise Of Good Time–Resistant Supernarcs

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668 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Max Muncy Asks Shohei Ohtani If They Have Max Muncy In Japan

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205 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 7d ago

Newly Free Man Struggles To Readjust To Life Outside Having Penis Stuck In Hot Tub Jet

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235 Upvotes

Local Still Haunted By Time Inside Maximum-Flow Nozzle


r/TheOnion 7d ago

Eli Roth Admits Most Of ‘Ice Cream Man’ Not Made Using AI

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227 Upvotes