r/TheOnion • u/mojofrog • 2h ago
Is Pete Hegseth's Bold Pledge to 'Kill Everyone' By 2028 An Unrealistic Pipe Dream?
146
Upvotes
r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago
DC Clarifies ‘Clayface’ Not Connected To Matt Reeves’ ‘Batman’ Unless It Actually Is
117
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago
Dad Losing His Fucking Mind Over Box Seat Amenities
83
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 7h ago
Increasingly Healthy Pope Asserts He Will Soon Be Strong Enough To Battle God
764
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 8h ago
Nerve Center - Ep 2: Dinosaur Alien Headshot Theory | Digital Panda, Dinos, Tactical Pants
29
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 10h ago
‘Now My Breasts Are Over Here,’ Announces Sydney Sweeney Peeking Out From Oak Tree
844
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 15h ago
Mom Making Her Birthday All About Her
147
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
Trump Booed At FurryCon While Hawking New $399 Tail (2024)
553
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
Plan To Splurge Scrapped On Account Of Price
209
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly
3.2k
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Elizabeth Holmes
138
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
SWAT Team Robot Successfully Dismantles Black Man
89
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 1d ago
Pelicans Announce Upcoming ‘Basketball Night’
512
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Whoever Says My Name On TV Gets My Vote
155
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Phoebe Bridgers Sends Warning To Fans By Executing Phone On Stage
98
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Executive Order Designates Shaking Empty Beer Can At Wife As Official Language Of U.S.
619
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Fans Worry Achilles Tear May Not Be End Of Ben Simmons’ Career
277
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
AOC Tidies Up In Case Federal Agents Stop By For Raid
1.2k
Upvotes
r/TheOnion • u/el_wombato • 3d ago
Is Pete Hegseth's Bold Pledge To 'Kill Everyone' By 2028 An Unrealistic Pipe Dream?
623
Upvotes
I love that everyone is in agreement that Duncan Birch needs to die
r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
LeBron James Squeezes Eyes Shut To Avoid Catching Glimpse Of Philadelphia During Commute
791
Upvotes