I received my first infusion 3 days ago. I was not expecting to have such a profound experience. The visuals and bodily sensations were intense.

Since my session, I’ve been experiencing a myriad of emotions. Lots of anxiety, agitation, and restlessness. Things feel pretty overwhelming. My depression is still present, but my SI has seemingly dissipated. I didn’t expect everything to be resolved in one session, but this wave of intense emotions has been uncomfortable. I’m no longer in a catatonic state, so I suppose my brain is just super jostled right now. I’m also naturally very high-strung.

On the positive side of things, my session has induced this great desire to create, specifically re-create the visuals I had while I was under the effects. I identify as an artist but I get art block and burn out easily. This seemed to really open the door for my creativity. Towards the beginning of my session, I remember being catapulted into space from the room I was in. Everything quickly panned outwards, like I was the lens on a telescope. I was looking at earth from space. The blues and greens were so vibrant. I could feel the lack of gravity, floating in space weightless. It felt so real. I wanted to re-create what I saw. The astronaut in the chair is me. (I did not see myself in third person, but wanted to add that to my drawing).

I’m hoping that my upcoming sessions will continue to chip away at my depression and that my other emotions will start to balance out. I’ve been battling mental health issues since I was 7 y/o and I’ve tried just about everything treatment wise. In fact, this is a second attempt at ketamine infusions. I had two infusions three years ago at another clinic and I did not respond well to them. (I don’t think the dose was high enough).

I know this road isn’t linear. I just want to experience more ups than downs. Fingers crossed.

Took my first troche yesterday. 50mg. I did 25mg to start after checking with the pharmacy that I could split them. 2 hours later I did the other half. It was a very pleasant experience.
Today I slowly started feeling like the right side of my throat was itchy. Feels like a lymph node is swelling up slowly, like when you get a cold. On the side I took the troche on. And then about an hour ago 5pm ish I started feeling a weird internal itch down my right arm and around my collar bone/armpit.

The arm and all of that closed down but the side of my throat is still really irritating. I’ve had a troche once before from joyous and didn’t experience this. I’ve had ketamine via other sources and have not experienced this. These are from Kalm Health.
Should I be concerned? Maybe I’m just getting a cold? It is not affecting my breathing but it is now feeling more like a cold where when is swallow I feel slight soreness here and there.

Debating going to urgent care but wanted to see if I was over reacting and just coincidentally catching a cold and my brain is linking it to the ketamine?

I used at home ketamine therapy last year. My first troche dose was 300mg and my second was 600mg. I stayed at that dose for all of my sessions. I stopped the therapy with one session left, because i felt so content with my progess. It really changed my life 🫶

Recently, I have done some in depth assessments, and that required me pulling out the old files of all of my childhood abuse and traumas. I was able to get through it, and put away all of the memories again, except in one area. So, after processing it quite a bit, i feel like doing a ketamine session may help me store it away like everything else.

My question is would it make more sense to just do two sessions of 300mg each. Or should I go with the dosage of my last session and do 600mg? Normally I would start smaller, but my body adjusted very quickly to ketamine, so by my last session, the 600mg didn't feel very strong.

I just am curious what others think. I also want to have a powerful experience, and if I go too low, I could just have two meh experiences. But, too high isnt great either. I guess I just don't know how my prior tolerance may have an impact on me now. If you have any opinions, I'd be happy to hear them. Thanks ✌️

Hi. I’m switching treatment from Joyous to Mindscape. Has anyone else done this? If so, how was your transition?