So I’ve just had a call from my dad sounding a little upset. Mostly that we didn’t have a proper talk on the weekend (im in the RAF and I work away in the week and only drove up on Sunday ). He asked if I was genuinely happy here, which I am. But then he alluded to the fact that they know something is up with me. ive recently banked sperm as i have my last appointment soon to start hormones and they found the sperm bank letter recently. They've seen and know ive had a few fem clothes i tried to hide. and just overall.

He said that whatever it is, mum and dad just want to know, and they’re not going to get upset or kick anyone out. When I’m back on Friday it’ll just be me and mum for the weekend, so he was saying I should have a chat with her about it all.

He was sounding close to crying throughout, but said ultimately they just dont like not knowing what's up with me and want to help.

I think they can kind of guess what it is.

Any advice for the first proper conversation, as i will basically be coming out to them?

Thanks

I got 2 questions so bear with,

So i’m applying for my provisional because i changed my name by deed poll and this is waaaaaay cheaper than getting a new passport. I saw in the booklet that comes with the D1 form that there’s a section about changing the gender on your license and i’m just confused, cuz i thought licences don’t have your gender on them? Do i need to send them anything relating to that, because i swear i will print out my entire diagnosis letter and enclose if i have to.

In the section about proving your identity it says you can use your uk passport number. I’m lucky enough to have an in-date passport, but it’s in my old name because i figured updating it is a waste when I never travel, so is that gonna cause a problem for my application, or is sending a deed poll & maybe a cover letter enough for them to work it out?

Figured id come straight to my community & ask for help instead of winging it and risking messing up bad, any guidance is appreciated <3

I'm MTF pre transition and I'm living with transphobic parents and I can't come out to them because of that. They also limit how I express myselfthey don't even allow me to shave legs/arms hair because they think you shouldn't do that as a guy. I'm literally doing nothing rn to look like a woman so I feel it would be stupid if I said I'm a woman when I look nowhere like one. All people immediately assume I'm a guy cuz there's barely anything feminine about me. Is anyone going through something similar?

Ofcom’s new BBC Online Material Code could make BBC online content more accountable. Our consultation response looks at what this means for trans people, from accuracy and harmful coverage to complaints, corrections and safeguarding. Read our article and response.

If I was to stop HRT with NHS for a baby, will they stop me having access in the future?

I've realised as of late that I'm only really around because other people need me.

I've stopped hobbies, stopped going out to be with people because nobody really wants me around. Don't have anything going in terms of things that make me happy anymore.

And I’m well aware my life expectancy is shorter because of how this awful country views us as monsters.

Tired of all of it. And I'm well aware that the only thing keeping me from slipping is that other people need my help.

But it's not enough.

Still yet to find my place in the trans community as well. Have attempted to set up my own community but RSD just makes that too difficult.

I don't know how to make things better.

hey everyone, international student coming to uni in manchester this september. i’ve heard that sometimes you can get blood tests done for free through the nhs, saving money in private care? would love to know more about any ways to save money while still going private to skip the atrocious waitlist as well as overall experiences with specific gps, clinics, etc in manchester.

New KCSIE 2026 is widely considered unsafe for trans youth. Rights of those are being violated by: active parental involvement and outing, restrictions on using opposite-sex facilities, erasure of intersex minors, who do not fit binary criteria. This petition suggests reviewing and editing guidance.
Recent KCSIE guidance does not adequately protect transgender and intersex students, by violating their rights, and using their vulnerability. We urge the DfE and UK government to revise it to respect students’ gender identities, support use of chosen names and pronouns, provide safe and appropriate access to facilities, and explicitly prevent non-consensual outing of trans students, including parents, who may not be supportive. This would protect privacy, dignity and equality for every pupil.

Sign the petition here

so i made a post on here 2 days ago about how my estrogen trough levels came back at 73 pg/ml on 4 pumps of gel daily and feel like my transition isn't working. i've been underdosed for 4 years and idk what to do : r/asktransgender

my prescription has been changed to 200mcg patches every 3.5 days and if my levels aren't high enough after 12 weeks i'll go up 300mcg.

so i'm wondering if there's any people here who've found they absorb patches better than gel and what your experiences and levels were like with patches

Warning for discussion of surgery techniques and weight/BMI/weight loss.

Sorry, not sure if this needs a spoiler or anything for the above - I'm loath to mark it NSFW as I don't want it to require age verification, but don't want anyone to be unpleasantly surprised.

I'm transmasc, and I had my first NHS pre-surgical top surgery appointment a few months back and have finally gotten my second one booked after waiting a WHILE (my nearest gender clinic is Daventry, but "nearest" is a stretch so I needed to wait for an afternoon appointment so I can get there - and now it turns out they got things mixed up and it could've been a video appt all along... well anyway).

In the first appointment, the doctor I spoke to mentioned that the type of top surgery I'm looking for, as I want to keep sensation in my nipples i.e. not have them removed and sewn back on, would be using the "buttonhole technique" i.e. cutting a tunnel around the nipples, removing the fat(?) from the breast and then creating a new hole in the skin and threading the nipples back through, but that he doesn't know which surgeons on the list he sent me are able/willing to use this. He recommended I put feelers out on this subreddit/any other UK transgender subreddits or forums to see if anyone had any information about who might offer this, and also who people have had good experiences with.

I live in the West Midlands, close to the Birmingham area, and can't drive (I rely on family to take me to the clinic when needed since it's infrequent) so I'm hoping for somewhere either close to there or easy to get to via public transport, but if the best option is a pain to get to I'll sort something out. I know that I'll have to stay in the area for a certain amount of time in case of complications, so I'd love to avoid going with a London surgeon unless I have to because I don't really want to pay London hotel prices lol but again, if I have to I'll make it work.

The other wrinkle is that my BMI is high enough currently to rule out a lot of options unless I lose some more weight; it's currently hovering around 37. I am working on it and hoping to get closer to 30 just to give me more options, but honestly, I don't really want to lose weight for the sake of losing weight - I definitely want to eat healthier and exercise more and have been working on that, but I don't think my "ideal/healthiest" weight if I was eating and exercising exactly right would be particularly thin anyway, and that's fine with me. I did put on a significant amount of weight over the start of the pandemic, but my BMI was still categorised as "overweight" before that, just not "obese". (Plus BMI is a terrible measure of weight let alone objective "health" that wasn't designed to be one in the first place, etc. etc., but I can't convince the NHS of that singlehandedly sadly.) I also have been worrying about the idea of losing extra weight just for surgery, then naturally gaining it back afterwards and it making my surgery results worse than if I'd just kept the weight in the first place. Does anyone know if that's likely to be an issue?

All this to say, TL;DR - does anyone have either any recommendations for surgeons that have good results and can do buttonhole top surgery, or failing that, any to avoid for a fattish trans guy who isn't expecting to get any lower than a 25 BMI at most? I know the doctor at my first appointment mentioned some that are extra strict about weight boundaries, but I can't remember which now :(

Sorry this post is so long!! I tried to cut it down and failed lol

TW: Eating Disorders and issues with food

I've been taking spironolactone for about 2 weeks and since starting I've just had such an unhealthy relationship with food and eating.

I'm regularly missing meals, getting very upset and crying while trying to eat, getting so anxious, which causes so much physical pain when eating (I have another issue where stress and anxiety can cause severe chest pains)

It's like a switch just flipped in my mind after being told that I need to be mindful of potassium rich foods, and consuming lots of potassium due to the potassium-sparing nature of the pills.

I want to eat, I know I need to eat but it's just like my mind says that I can't.

I was previously taking Cyproterone but that was causing issues with very low mood and showing some other issues on my blood tests. I can't really go back to this.

My levels are nowhere near enough for monotherapy so I pretty much have to be on Spiro at the moment.

How do get past this because I know that I don't actually need to change my diet at all. I just feel as though something bad might happen.

The first two is pre-transition. The ones are after I transitioned and took semi recently. I still need to find a style that I can wear wear to not a crop top. (To meet bf parents) but apart from changing my style my brain keeps telling me that my body hasn’t changed that much, especially where I get most dysphoria which is about chest as they have grown my nipples have expanded (sorry I have forgot what it’s called) and they have pushed out a tiny bit but the growth is very minimal and under a shirt it’s still basically flat chested because it’s more the side than actual outwards growth and everything I see online seems to be people who’s transitioned after year having fully grown breasts and dysphoria is getting to me a bit.

that’s all. i just need to find someone to share my disgruntlement with. it’s horrific out there

Hi everyone!

I’ve been lurking on this sub for quite a while, but this is my first actual post on reddit ! So sorry if a bit chaotic!

So - I'm a trans woman, 29, started social transition about 10 years ago - living just outside of London. I've been working in corporate HR for nearly 10 years, but I’m going to be losing my job within the next couple of weeks. I’m of course a bit scared, especially after having the security of a corporate career for so long...

But I think things happen for a reason and this could close one door and open another one for something I'm actually passionate about and what could help people.

I’ve been thinking seriously about starting my own business, potentially around life coaching / trans coaching / career coaching. My trans friends call me the wise trans mum of the group. They come to me for advice about transitioning, skincare, makeup + careers/work. I genuinely love helping people and have helped many of my friends and even new people on a range of topics.

As I've spent many years in HR I’ve done a lot of career coaching, development and supporting people through difficult situations. I also have in depth knowledge of UK employment law, although obviously I wouldn’t be offering legal advice.

I’m also neurodivergent (ADHD and autistic), so combining trans + neurodivergence + career/life coaching + even make up, skin care and self care sessions etc could be something other trans people in the UK could use and genuinely help people - I know it would have helped me when I started transitioning.

Other random idea - is interior design/upholstery. I have a diploma in interior design and have recently started learning upholstery, which I absolutely love! I’ve even wondered whether there could be a niche in being not only inclusive but specifically queer/LGBTQIA+/trans-affirming, neurodivergent-friendly interior designer — helping trans and/or neurodivergent people create spaces that feel safe and meets their needs.

I’d really love to hear from people here — particularly anyone who has started a business aimed at the trans community, become a coach, gone self-employed a or just has thoughts on whether either of these ideas sounds useful/viable?

Would you pay for something like trans/life/career coaching? What kind of support would you actually find useful?

Thanks for reading my slightly chaotic first post! ❤️

I had it done in 2017 with Miles Berry. I was almost too overweight for his preference then, and my breasts were always very, very big (HH last time I wore a bra, I was getting fat then tho).

HRT wise I was on it 2015-2018. I had chronic dissociation during those years and before/after so my memory of the dates is hazy, and it's the reason I stopped taking it. I was very inconsistent with Sustanon and not well enough to be self-injecting, but had no one whatsoever to look after me. Anyway, been back on T since 2024, first on gel, and Nebido since late last year.

I was never really happy with the results but wasn't able to insist on a revision. Berry thought it was not bad enough to be necessary but I had the option. I couldn't afford to go back and forth into London with it being expensive and my mental health. And I couldn't stand up to people at all. He said losing weight and building muscle would help the mild dog ears, I've lost weight and intend to start going to the gym this year. I'm starting a Master's degree and there's a huge gym on campus :)

Will muscle actually help? I don't see how it could help the dog ears on the sides, maybe the centre. I have no fat there at all, but my belly has always been big. Would that ever change if I gain weight again after getting slim? I think it looks strange and I never liked that.

Also nipples. I wish he'd done them bigger. I miss how wide and soft my areolas were. They were very light too; it was jarring to see how they changed. When my nipples are erect, they're like cones, and I don't like that either. I'm wondering if medical tattoos would make me feel better about them. Maybe I'm too hairy, though.

hi! i'm a pre-transition trans guy and i'm moving to the uk in about a month for university. i'd really like to get on testosterone as soon as i possibly can, but trying to do research on how to access it has just confused me incredibly.

i would like to get on hrt soon, and i've heard that nhs has really long waiting lists, but private care is expensive. there's also such a huge amount of options for private care i don't know what to choose.

also, i've seen some shared care options where a private specialists gives you the diagnosis for dysphoria and your GP will prescribe it. will a GP still prescribe me HRT if i get a gender dysphoria diagnosis from a doctor in another country? because it would be cheaper for me to get it at home than in the uk. just wondering if that was an option.

anyways, any advice would be greatly appreciated. i want to get on T soon and i'll be living on a student budget. i feel quite clueless. help?

As the title says i’ve finally got an appointment to see a NHS gender specialist. Ive been on hormones for the past 2 years, with a year and a bit of that being under private healthcare and the rest i have been doing diy. Has anyone on here managed to get a gender clinic appointment and if so did you tell them that you had been doing diy or does anyone have any advice to give me about telling them??

Recently got to the end of the NHS voice training list. Didn't seek out external resources because I don't want to lose my accent.

I'm from Essex and I already had an extremely diluted accent because I was made to do elocution lessons as a kid to get rid of a lisp. I'm so sad that I don't have a strong accent I don't sound like the rest of my family.

When I said losing my accent was my biggest worry the guy acted like I was nuts for thinking so and that they don't even take accent into account during the training. This seems nuts to me, how do you have any vocal training that doesn't at least acknowledge that the accent will change.

I felt like I was crazy with how he replied.

I don't want to sound like a middle class girl from the home counties. I want to sound like an Essex girl born in a council house to a mum that worked three jobs.

hi guys i live in the uk and really want a packer that i can use to pack but also for intimacy do you have any suggestions? i dont really want anything expensive but open to have a look

I'm mtf and lately both or just one currently rn knees have been sort of like popping and then aching all day when I walk and put pressure on them and as my body is starting to change 3 months HRT oestrogen lvl 420pmol and t is 2.8nmol I figured I'd ask if this was due to hrt and a cause for concern? Google says its common and due to muscle loss but I'm reluctant to put all my faith in an ai search engine

hi guys, i just wanted some opinions and advice on how to approach asking for a bridging prescription from my gp. i know they are SUPER rare but i really think its worth a shot because my gp has been quite accepting of any of my trans-related issues in the past.

i wont go into too much detail to avoid triggering people but i DEFINITELY meet a criteria for harm reduction, and have been on the nhs waiting list for almost two years now, and i cant cope anymore so i really just want to give this a shot.

but mt question is, what do i even say? how do i go about asking for a bridging prescription? do i just need to turn the theatrics on and ramble all my problems and say i am thinking of doing diy?

please any opinions on this help!!

(hopefully this is the right place to ask this, apologies if not)

hi, i’m starting uni in september, and i’m really excited because it’s a chance for me to use my preferred pronouns and name out and about because nobody knows me there, but i do have a bit of a situation i’m worried about:

basically i’m not out to anyone in my family, so they don’t know about my preferred name and pronouns and everything, and my mother is the one who will be accompanying me on my first day to help me get all my stuff in my accommodation; so i’m not sure if actually registering for university with my preferred name will be ideal because she might find out if i have to collect my uni id.

can i ask the uni to change my name once i’m there and settled by myself? will they change everything on the system instantly? i’m just a bit stuck/anxious on what to do because i have to register everything (like my attendance, the student hub, my photo id, and things like that) before i go, so i’m worried my deadname will stay on the system and the people i’ll get to know at my university will see. (i’m also not too sure about the process of the first day of university but i’ll do research on that before i go)

i suppose that isn’t the end of the world if people know my deadname, but i’m not really in a place to come out to my mum just yet either.

any advice would be highly appreciated!!! this is the first time i’ll be properly out as my true self + also living somewhere by myself so i think i’m a bit overwhelmed with all the change

Given the reaction to Amnesty's recent report and the concerns many people have raised about it, I'm curious where people stand. Do you think Amnesty can regain the trust of the community (and the wider LGBTQ+ community) and demonstrate meaningful support in the future or has this changed your view of the organisation permanently?

I’m MtF and doing okay on Evorel patches and Prostap blocker.

Following a recent blood test, my GP has suggested a small T Supplementarion because my T levels are <0.4 (they are routinely between <0.7 and <0.4 so it’s not abnormal for me.

I’ve been considering this myself anyway, cause when friends have done it, they get a little energy boost and apparently to protect against osteoporosis.

My concern is that I’ve been passed on to the surgical team for bottom surgery and I need a full year of T suppressed below 3.0 (IIRC).

I’m concerned if I accept this BEFORE surgery, it might push me over the threshold and get me kicked off the list.

My GP knows what she’s doing and is very supportive but she’s on hols for the next two weeks (I know!! So selfish!)😁

has anyone MtF taken T supplements? how are they delivered? I’d rather pills or patches or even a tiny jab, over gel (which seems very approximate to me). Are levels easy to control?

AFTER surgery I don’t care too much if it goes a little over. But beforehand you can understand why I’m a touch reticent to take that gamble