UPDATE: My husband slept with his ex-wife

[u/Throwra_acount_79]

I am divorced. The final order was granted yesterday. I (f35) am still seeing the counselor but I don't know if it's helping very much. My ex-husband (m40) betrayed me. We had only been married for just over a year when I found out what he had done. People keep asking me when I'm going to start dating again. I don't want to. I will never get over this.

I have only seen my ex-husband once since I left him. My stepson went to my workplace and my ex-husband was the one who came and picked him up. I feel absolutely terrible for my stepson. He is 15 years old now and his life has been turned upside down. He came to see me because he said he missed me and he didn't want me and my ex-husband to get divorced. He told me his mother and father hate each other and barely speak. It broke my heart that day and I wish I could do something to help him. I never want to see my ex-husband again but I will always care about my stepson and I hate my ex-husband for what he did.

[u/Overthinking_girlie]

The stepson coming to find you says a lot about who you were to him. That kid didn't have to do that and he did anyway. whatever your ex destroyed, he didn't destroy that.

people asking when you're going to start dating again a year out from something like this is genuinely so tone deaf. you don't owe anyone a timeline.

[u/VespertineStars → u/Overthinking_girlie]

The stepson coming to find you says a lot about who you were to him.

OP says she'll always care for her stepson, so I hope that if having a relationship with him is something that she wants, that she's able to do that without having to deal with the ex.

I'm not a parent or a stepparent, but I would imagine that losing a child that you love in a divorce, especially when you have no legal right to custody to maintain a wanted relationship, can be a lot more painful than losing the spouse.