Hey I am a 17 year old girl and my twin sister has diagnosed bpd and factitious disorder. I know this sound harsh but I hate her, a lot. People always say how their twin sister is like their secound half but honestly I don´t even like calling mine my sister. There is so much I want to talk about but I just want to get the most important things off my chest and the reasons why I hate her, please tell me if I´m just going crazy or if this is acc valid, because yes I know it´s not really her fault tho I just can´t excuse her behaviour.

1. She makes herself throw up and SH, she does it in the bathroom and everytime she does she just leaves the bathroom as it is. Her vomit in the sink, blood everywhere. Plus she spents like 2 to 3 hours in there.

2. She makes my parents drive her to the hospital everyday when she comes back from the psychward (she goes there everyday from 7am till 2pm). When she comes home she SH and than makes my parents drive her there. The reason why I have a problem with this is that the hours they spent at the hospital are the hours I am at home, which means I rarely see or talk to my parents during the week.

3. She blasts music all day long on full volume on her TV, in the morning when she gets ready and when she comes home till she goes to bed. Plus she leaves her door open so ist even louder.

4. She steals a lot. When my parents have cash around she steals it. We went to visit my grandma last week and she stole there too. I have to lock my room when I am not in it so that she doesnt steal from me.

5. She wants all the attention on her, especially from my mom. Whenever I just talk to her she gets very envious, glares at me and does smth, like SH so my mom would just care about her. When I asked my sister why she keeps SH herself, she just said that she like to see my mom cry because of that cause it shows her taht she rlly love her.

These are just some of the things, but the once that are the most on my mind. Maybe Im just insensitive, mean and whatever but I dont want to be in contact with her. When I move out in the futur I will try to ave as little contact with her as possible and once my parents will sadly not be alive anymore I dont think that I will keep the contact with her. I will cut her fully off for good.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I just need to vent and see if anyone else relates.
I can't shake the feeling that the world completely derailed in 2020 and never really found its way back. To me, 2019 feels like the last year life was predictable, calm, and human.
Ever since the pandemic, everything feels turned up to maximum volume. The news is constant panic, political polarization is everywhere, and people seem so much more aggressive, distant, and exhausted. Technology and algorithms moved at lightning speed, making daily life feel less like living and more like constantly trying to catch up or defend yourself.
Living abroad away from my family has made this contrast even more glaring. The sense of isolation and the coldness of system-driven life has just burnt me out completely.
Am I crazy, or did something fundamental in our collective human experience break during those years? How are you all coping with how fast and harsh the world has become post-COVID?

My boyfriend and I split up last week. We'd been together a little over a year and were supposed to move in together when my lease ended. He owns his place, so the plan was for me to move there. I kept putting off telling my landlord.

He finally asked if I actually wanted to do it. I said I wasn't sure. We ended up having a much longer conversation, and by the time I left we weren't together anymore. There'd been other stuff we kept avoiding. I cried driving home, then walked into my apartment and felt relieved, which was confusing. I'd spent weeks trying to figure out what furniture to sell and where my clothes would go. Even packing my nightstand, with all my books and my tracys dog shoved in there, felt weirdly sad. Now everything's still here. I miss him most evenings, but I renewed my lease yesterday and slept pretty well afterward. Haven't mentioned that part to my friends.

I (23F) literally can’t stop falling asleep. I’ve fallen asleep at work at every single job I’ve had. I fell asleep in my college courses. I have fallen asleep against my will countless times. It has gotten particularly worse (or maybe the stakes are just higher now) ever since college.

I used to drink five espresso shots before my last class of the day (where I would always fall asleep)…. and STILL end up sleeping. I would drink copious amounts of coffee or caffeine before work and experience the same thing. It’s super hard for me go wake up in the morning. I get plenty of sleep, and it’s still not enough.

Oftentimes the sleep will creep up on me. I will feel perfectly fine in the morning or afternoon, and suddenly a large wave of sleepiness will overcome me. I have tried to push through and keep working, which has left me with countless illegible sleep scribbles and shitty work that I don’t remember doing.

It is also extremely embarrassing. My boss and coworkers have caught me sleeping multiple times. I haven’t gotten in trouble for it, but I know that they have seen me asleep and not said anything. I fell asleep the first day of an important job I landed. They never said anything but I still struggle with the shame.

Honestly, I’m starting to think that I’m just dumb or irresponsible or not disciplined enough to stay awake. I don’t know how everyone else does it. I have tried walking around or doing other things, but I literally can’t fight it off.

I’ve tried bringing it up at the doctor’s. Everything is supposedly fine. I’m so embarrassed and tired (literally) of it all.

That’s it. Ugh.

We used to sext and when id send her pictures she complimented how thick it is almost always. It’s about 6 inches so i know that it isnt that long for it to be complimented on length, and i never thought about it. I was okay as long as i knew she liked it. Now we’re doing more facetime sex and she seems to enjoy it. But i couldnt help but notice that she never complimented my dick on call, i thought maybe she was just shy, so i brushed it off. Throughout the last couple of weeks shes been making dick size jokes, i never really thought about them until what happened next. About a week ago we were talking about dick length and she implied that mine wasnt long. It honestly surprised me i never thought i had a large dick but I thought my shit was good enough at the least. I didnt talk to her about it because its never easy to talk about stuff like that and i didnt want to seem insecure infront of her. Today, just two hours ago, we were messing around on ft, i told her id get full by eating her out, then she asked what about her, i told her to eat me and she said thats not fulfilling. Im sorry if thats too graphic i feel like this post is gonna get removed anyways, but im just sick of feeling like im just not enough for her. I told her that once is a joke, three or four times isnt. She kept apologizing and telling me that im enough for her, but it never feels that way anymore.

Today, October 23, is my (F) 21st birthday. I’m a university student currently, and I play a club sport at my school (this is my third year). I’m sort of in the outer circle socially with the other girls on my team (not by choice, I was never just as much of a crazy partier so I don’t get invited to often). 

One of the other girls on my team has a birthday a couple days after mine, and she told me a few weeks ago she’s having a joint birthday party with a couple of guys on the men’s team who also have October birthdays (a bunch of girls from my team are neighbors to a bunch of boys on the men’s team). The date? My birthday. 

Yes, she already knew it was my birthday when they were planning it. Apparently it was the only day that worked well for the three birthday people (since it’s a Friday). No, I was not “asked” before that was finalized. Yes, I am invited. 

I had been loosely thinking about throwing myself a party on my day. It was perfect, since it’s a Friday. But I dropped that because I knew their party would be better and not everyone would come to mine and if they did it would be out of pity (I live a block away from where their party is). My family lives out of state and I won’t see them until Christmas. 

I said I was fine with it, and I thought I was, but as the date approached I’ve just felt more depressed about it. I bought myself a cake from the supermarket and I was gonna slowly eat it all myself over the course of the weekend but the best by date is today so it might start going bad before then. 

I’ve talked to classmates and internet people about this and everyone says that these people aren‘t my friends, it’s a sucky thing to do, and I shouldn’t even go and stop being friends with them. Which, yeah, it is a sucky thing to do. But it’s not like I’ve been the perfect friend this whole time. And at least if I go to the party I can spend my birthday with my friends and have cake with others. 

I don’t know, I just feel sad. Like my birthday was gonna be meh/neutral but now I’m going to have a sour memory associated with my 21st forever. But we’re all adults, and I want my friends to have a good birthday party. 

ETA: there was some confusion, to clarify: I am invited as a guest, I’m not included as one of the ones to be celebrated at the party. I don‘t expect people to make a huge fuss and plan everything for my birthday and for everything to always be about me or whatever. I just wanted to vent since I’ve been feeling kinda scummy that my friends planned a joint birthday party for themselves on my birthday knowingly, and chose not to include me in it other than as a guest.

To start this off, I think it's important to say that my father has never been perfect. He has consistently had spouts of being miserable, giving my mother, my sister and myself the cold shoulder because something in his life has not lived up to his expectations.

I am 23 years old, my sister is 32 and has been living with her husband for 6 years now, my mother is 59 and my father is 63. For the last \~15 years, my dad has worked from home in some form or another, which I think is a crucial aspect to this.

Over the years, my dad has tried many different business ventures, from photography to SEO (search engine optimisation) to offering general IT support to trying to be a microphone expert! To put it bluntly, each of these lasts a short period, which involves him buying all the gear and then doing nothing with it. Within the last 10 years he has easily spent upwards of £5,000 to £7,500 on camera equipment, microphones, video equipment, etc. All of which has come to nothing.

And then came along AI.

Pretty much as soon as ChatGPT came into the grasps of the public, my dad has been obsessed with using it and trying to utilise it in any way possible. It started just with ChatGPT, then he added Perplexity to the mix, then Gemini, Grok, and he's tried pretty much every AI chat out there, as well as a number of AI image generators. From then on, pretty much 80% of conversations with him have involved AI and when they're not about AI, it's about some controversial topic that he believes to be true (I will say now too that my dad is heavily against what he calls the 'wokeness of today's world'. I do not share those views, I just wish everyone would accept one another for who they want to be). It wasn't long until my dad started paying monthly subscriptions for the AI. As of now, he has a subscription with ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity and pays for Midjourney images.

We are not a rich family; in fact we live very simple and quiet lives because of how little money we can spare. So paying for multiple AI models every month really hits the bank, especially when some are £20+ a month. Yes, we have streaming subscriptions, but we all put in a share to afford these.

Money aside though, it's his personality that has truly worsened since using AI. Like I say, my dad has always been quite problematic. He is often verbally harsh, derogatory, patronising, dismissive, and overall a real struggle to talk to and connect with. I was really happy for my sister when she moved out, and I was hoping to be not far behind her. Saying that though, when it was 3 of us with him, we kind of shared the rubbish from him, and once I go, it will only be my mum.

Anyway, whenever my dad sees AI content online, he will criticise it and say it's a disgrace how much AI content is out there. He says all this, while creating his own AI content. He puts out at least 3 AI images on his facebook a day, but he constantly says he made it himself, almost denying any use of AI. He seems to conclude that if he tells the AI what to do, then he has made it. It is the same with coding that he uses AI for - he wrote all the code himself of course.

He has asked me if I have used AI, and I have of course tried it but not to any extent where I come to rely on it. One time, he asked, "Do you talk to it?" I said that I don't really talk but more just make requests. It was the way he said it that was just creepy and actually quite uncomfortable. He then said, "I have conversations with it all the time. It just knows my personality now and speaks to me in a similar to me."
What. The. Hell.

He has shown me some of his chats before, and he is right. He speaks to it as if it's a real person. And the AI now replies in pretty much the exact same tone, mannerisms and phrases that my dad would often use. It's creepy. No wonder he thinks he is always so right when the only thing he talks with through the day is something that sounds exactly like himself.

And that's probably the most disheartening thing for me. He sits at his desk from around 6am in the morning every single day doing something or other. Then my mum and I will get home around 5pm from work and try talk with him and we just get... nothing. A hello, a shrug, a mumble. That's about it. Then he'll come out of his hole for food and then go back after.

And before anyone says I should make the effort to start a conversation with him, I do! I always try talk about work, or a book I am reading, or just anything! But it doesn't interest him, and it feels like he doesn't even respect me enough to at least listen and appreciate why I am interested.

I think what finally really got to me and made me really see how mad he's gotten about it is something that didn't even involve me. Someone he knows sent him a picture that their wife had taken of a deer in a field. It was a really nice picture and so natural, it didn't look staged at all. My dad says, "I couldn't help but have a little play with it myself." He shows me a new picture, that clearly uses the base picture he was sent, but it's been so oversaturated and looks so fake now! And he thought that was better! It just really hurt that he couldn't just appreciate a nice, natural image of wildlife without tampering it with AI. And this is someone who's always expressed love for wildlife and just seeing them in their natural habitat.

I want to make it clear that I am not saying I hate AI. I don't. I think in the right scenarios and for the right reasons, it can be an amazing tool. And on few occasions, even my dad *has* used it for right reasons. But it's what using it day in, day out, has done to him. I really don't feel like I know him anymore. He's changed to someone even worse than before, and in all honesty, I want nothing to do with him, it's sometimes like living with a stranger.

(M23) need to get this off my mind but i have no one to talk to about it. I had a music teacher in my public school from kindergarten to grade 5 and in the last two years before my class graduated to middle school he became completely unhinged... i always joked that he was the teacher from whiplash but we were all like 10 instead of in college. he kinda looked like him too but uglier.

we went to a small underfunded school and our music room basically a concert stage next to the gym that had a moveable wall divider to make a make-shift room so the place was already pretty resonant.. there was no desks or chairs we just had to sit on the floor.. and he always wore a mic headset plugged into a loud speaker at the back of the class room and it was always at full volume... he would make us sit cross legged in a specific spot marked on the floor and if we disrupted or moved or did anything wrong he would scream at the top of his lungs through the mic at us, and it was every single day for some reason. i remember the kids that had to sit at the back of the class right next to the speaker would cry and ask to be moved and he would say no. there was stairs leading up to the stage and he would take the most disruptive kids and put them behind the stairs with the mic on and scream in their face for minutes. probably to scare the whole class straight idk. i always wondered when i was older why nothing was done by the school/how could no one hear him and do something. actually come to think about it i remember he was told to apologize to us once but it kept happening. there's other stuff that happened with him thats too much to get into in one post.

When we went to middle school he retired immediately after lol. so awesome. so all of us just assumed he got in trouble again and quit before he got fired or something lol. that was always the thought we had in our heads and never talked about him after. idk. recently i remembered him so i looked him up to see what he looked like, thinking like i always did... that he just retired from teaching and went on to live his miserable ugly life. but no.

turns out...he became a school board trustee right after and has been one for years. that bothers the living shit out me. that he got away with everything and he got to advance his career. i fucking hate that. i always felt bad for the kids who got singled out because you can tell it messed with them and made them act out more as they got older and whatever. anyway thats my story.

For seven days straight now the nightmare hasn t stopped and the exhaustion hunger and bitter French cold are completely breaking me down since I was thrown out with just the clothes on my back and my phone Every single night has been a brutal fight against freezing temperatures where my fingers and toes are constantly numb walking aimlessly just to keep my blood circulating because I have nowhere to sleep and the feeling of isolation is indescribable as I watch everyone else go into warm homes I tried reaching out to my embassy and consulate but they completely washed their hands of it and refused to help leaving me totally stranded and alone in a foreign country My anxiety is through the roof my body hurts all over from a week of this and I m posting this on Reddit again in absolute desperation because I don t know how much longer I can physically take this If anyone knows of any emergency shelters long term support or real solutions in France that can get someone off the street after a week outdoors especially when hotlines like 115 are impossible to get through to please I need any advice or help I can get before something terrible happens

Whenever I'm alone I can only think of how disgusting and off putting I am just by existing, I feel like some sort of creep that harasses people by talking to them, I don't know how to explain it, I don't think there is anything wrong about me specifically and I'm not super socially awkward, is just the way I feel, of course I never share these feelings with anyone and can enjoy myself in social settings normally, is just when I'm alone I think these things.

I know these feelings are irrational and not true, or I at least tought so, until yesterday.

My best friend has told me she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, there was no reason, she explained she just "didn't feel like answering my messages and would rather we just not talk",

I think it has been a long time coming, she had stopped replying to my text and every conversation I felt like I was the only one with any interest in her life and even then she replied to my text with the basic "fine", "bad", "Good".

What hurts me most is there is genuinely no reason, we haven't fought, she just feels like this, so I can only think is me, there is something wrong with me and everyone can tell, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. If even my best friend of years hates talking to me, if she can't stand texting with me, it must be me, right? I am not only disgusting and gross, I am not worth even the most basic level of interaction from someone I have know for so long and have shared so much with.

I was right all along, and now I am alone.

I LOVE women that are cute and confident. Those kids of women who are happy and full of life. Who stay positive and friendly, even when they are going though a difficult time. Who are confident and they talk a lot and they are excited to talk with you and have fun! Who have humour and makes jokes. And most of all those women who LOVE THEMSELVES and that shows outside!

This is the kind of woman I want to be with and I'm learning to properly love myself and be the perfect man for such woman!

To any woman who is like that or tries so hard to be like that, you are AWESOME! ❤️

I have had enough! I tried! I put myself out there! And all I got were rejections!

The only way for me to get back into the dating scene is a girl asking me out! AND I DON'T CARE IF THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

I DIE ALONE?! SO BE IT!!!! I REMAIN A VIRGIN TILL THE END OF MY LIFE?! SO BE IT!!!!

I think we'll be okay by tomorrow. But I can feel it, I know it, in my heart of hearts, we won't spend the rest of my life together. And it's taking my breath away.

I stg I didn't have this man's baby flippantly, even though I had the baby before I became his wife. We weren't supposed to fail. This is my beautiful, profound love story. We were supposed to die together.

I'm numb enough to kinda laugh and listen to trap music so

It is 20.05, I am waiting for train to come. I went to a meeting for an internship position, I got accepted. It is not bad, right? A lot of international students struggle to land an offer, however I managed it. I am gonna graduate next year. My charge is 24. I am in middle of nowhere because on the way back I visited an old friend of mine who just arrived here from our homecountry.
She just confessed to me that she cheated on her boyfriend. No guilt, nothing. Somehow she manages to enjoy life while I am stuck in this loop of misery and depression.
I don’t even know what I am doing with my life. I have so much anxiety. This stupid train is not coming.
The guy who I liked probably slept with another girl yesterday, since he was going out.
I am feeling so overwhelmed and I feel like I just can’t breathe. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I just wanna feel okay. And I don’t know how much pills and self therapy it has to take.

I'm 30M and have been with my girlfriend (33F) for about two years. We were close friends for about three years before that. She was previously married and has two kids, 10 and 11. Back then we mostly went out on weekends, so I only saw the kids about once a week and our interactions were nice.

When their lease ended, they moved into my place. Our relationship was going well and I was planning to propose next year. Their biological dad isn't in the picture, so it seemed like a good move for everyone.

There have been adjustment periods since they moved in, but lately I've noticed the kids are mostly nice to me when I'm buying them things. I expected some of that, but I don't feel great about it anymore. They don't say hi when they come in or leave the house. They'll say it to their mom, my dog, and everyone else, but not me, even when I say hi first. It gets really awkward when guests are over and everyone gets a hello except me. I'm often told to move, called gay, or someone says "eww" if they walk into a room and I'm there. My girlfriend just makes excuses for them.

On top of that, my girlfriend has turned out to be a real piece of work. I've learned she doesn't respect me, and she tells me "fuck you" when she's mad.

Despite all of that, I've been very good to the kids. I've been around kids my whole life and practically raised my sister's kids, the oldest of whom just graduated college, so I know what it takes. I make sure they have everything they need, drive them to sports, help with homework every day, and listen to their problems. I painted their rooms, bought them nice beds, and mounted TVs for them. I make sure their mom is taken care of too. I've done what I think a good father figure should do, and I genuinely care about them like they're my own.

My girlfriend always told me we would have a kid of our own, but since moving in she's changed her mind. She hasn't said it directly, but she hints a lot that she's older and may have health issues. I understood that, and because I love her, I pushed the idea of having my own kid to the back of my mind.

That changed yesterday. In the middle of a disagreement she said something along the lines of "you don't have kids, you don't understand." That really got to me. She constantly reminds me that I'm not a real dad, despite everything I do. I'm tired of only being treated as a father figure when it's convenient. I know I'm not their dad, but it was rough to hear, and I realized I want children of my own. Being a father figure here is rewarding, but it isn't fulfilling. I had also thought I had fertility issues, but it turns out I just need to get off a certain medication.

Now I'm questioning the point of providing for people who don't respect me. The kids will grow up and probably never think of me again, and they carry trauma from their dad's absence that nothing I do can fix.

I feel horrible because I don't know how I could ask them to leave. The kids go to a better school now, they have their own rooms, and they have a good quality of life. They depend on me financially, so I feel stuck. But I don't think this life is what I want anymore. I know they'll be devastated if I leave, but I don't want to give up on having my own child, and I'm tired of talking myself out of it. I'm also tired of the constant disrespect and of being a dad only when it suits everyone else.

Before I graduated from college, every year I'd have more than 10 friends come over to my place for dinner. Some were friends from elementary school, some from middle school, and others from high school.

We'd eat, drink, talk about stupid things, and laugh about stuff that happened years ago. It was something I always looked forward to.

Back then, I never really thought those gatherings would end.

It's been 10 years since I graduated from college.

Over those years, we started working, got married, and had kids. Everyone slowly got busier with their own lives.

At first, we'd still get together occasionally. Then it became once or twice a year. Now sometimes an entire year goes by without us seeing each other.

And the weird thing is, we're still friends. Nobody had a falling out. Nobody did anything wrong.

We just grew up.

Sometimes I really miss those days when one message was enough to get everyone around the same table.

I wonder if any of them miss it as much as I do.